renkai selfish machines is so real to me

Honey Queen YouTube Premiere things

So as it was starting. I screenshotted a comment saying "Paul and Gary for Honey Queen" cuz I loved that... And then my laptop crashed. It was too powerful for my laptop to handle apparently

Took a while to restart but I got back as Dan came on screen

There was lot of lore on Linda's outfits

And since I know a bunch of us were confused about Linda's bangs, Nick clarified she had them in bf too

Linda's outfit is just the summer version of her bf outfit

Nick Lang: "Matt and I were very specific on how Roman's silly little "Piggy" song went. We just thought it was a really mean and condescending thing to sing to your daughter."

Nick Lang said they were originally going to make Linda compete against Becky Barnes in the pageant but "Becky turned out to be too nice a competitor"

They made it Linda vs. Zoey because they thought "Zoey would be willing to fight just as hard to win"

Linda's "baton" was actually a tiny curtain rod

"Linda and Gerald are a perfect match in many ways. Both easily inclined to evil." This was noteworthy to me because I remember that Nick Lang also described Gary as "easily inclined to evil." What I'm getting at is they're definitely a threesome.

Explanation for the "chemist" line: "It's not explicitly said here, but the "Chemists" are the mascot if the Clivesdale High School football team. Like how Hatchetfield High are the "Nighthawks." You'll see in future Hatchetfield stories." So there's also an implication we'll see more Hatchetfield stories and possibly get a football episode.

Hatchetfield is confirmed to be in Michigan by Nick Lang

Chat went wild for Paul. Truly. The leading man essence never fades.

Lauren and Nick bought a bunch of gowns for Linda, but settled on the one seen in the episode because of the cape sleeves

Nick said Zoey's pageant dress was Mariah's prom dress, but it is not. Iirc it's a pretty recent purchase and it's the "Cobalt Starry Dress" by Teuta Matoshi

Someone pointed out they reused the bf cheers

Nick Lang confirmed that River is the only Monroe boy who isn't awful

Matt Lang wrote Linda's pageant question. Many viewers answered with "Just make everyone a princess"

Nick Lang asked the viewers why they think Hailey is dumping ass. Someone commented "dysentery obvi" and someone commented "pregnant"

Notable comment: "THE DAIRY QUEEN LOGO CHOMPED LINDA TO PIECES"

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.1

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: After meeting in a chatroom Steve and Bucky finally meet up in real life, however Bucky isn’t anything Steve was expecting. Master list HERE.

Content Warning: a very confused Steve, an adorably disappointed Bucky. 

Word Count: 3.1k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! One of my favorite versions of Steve is the sweet confused Steve, and so I decided to have a little fun with him in this fic. Also, Steve Rogers is a Slytherin and I will fight ya’ll to the death on that one. If you don’t believe me read #10 in THIS article. There will be six chapters total, one posted every evening until we’re done. Hope you enjoy! XOXO - Ash

Chapter One

Bucky stared at Alpine, desperate for more companionship than the fluffy white cat could provide. He’d been stuck inside for the past four days while he got over the damned late winter cold he’d caught. Bucky hadn’t been sick in almost two years so he couldn’t really complain, but he was social by nature and Alpine could only do so much for her end of the conversation. He finally drug himself out of bed, carrying his fluffy duvet to the sofa with him so he could throw on a rerun of The Good Place and fire up his laptop. Bucky logged into the chat site he used to frequent that hosted discussions on all different fandoms from movies to television shows to music. He used to love hanging out online in some of the Harry Potter chats, especially HuffleHaven which he was pleased to see was still active. Bored and not really feeling up to fangirling at a level appropriate for a proud Hufflepuff, he hopped into a punk rock appreciation chat to hopefully find a way out of his bored funk. 

WinterBae: so ur a Greenday fan?

AmericanIdiot: What was your first clue?

WinterBae: well i heard the sounds of hysteria

AmericanIdiot: LOL nice. Is that your cat in the profile pic?

WinterBae: yuppp, that’s my girl Alpine

AmericanIdiot: She looks sweet. So, what fandom are you here for?

Bucky flicked over to view AmericanIdiot’s profile and was instantly smitten with the blonde who claimed punk rock was life and he could live on tacos alone if given the chance. He wondered briefly if the pic was real, it wasn’t unheard of for people to use model’s photos instead of their own, and the guy in AmericanIdiot’s picture was definitely model worthy. Tall, buff, and gorgeous; Bucky was definitely interested in more than conversation. Well, nothing to make himself feel better than a little harmless flirting. 

xxXxx

Three months later.

AmericanIdiot: I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.

WinterBae: oh come on! it’s not that bad, just let the hat sort you and i’ll let you retreat to your boring punk rock group. 

AmericanIdiot: You so owe me for this one. 

WinterBae: puhleeeease please please please

AmericanIdiot: FINE. But you still owe me. 

WinterBae: whatever you want. Promise :D

[Private Chat Initiated]

AmericanIdiot: Well shit. 

WinterBae: was i right??

AmericanIdiot: I hate you. 

WinterBae: nope, u luv me. and i told u so ;)

AmericanIdiot: How in the ever loving fuck am I a Slytherin?? I literally help my neighbor with her grocery bags every week! I feel like a puppy kicker now.

WinterBae: the hat sees inside ur soul puppy kicker mwahaha

AmericanIdiot: You totally owe me. 

WinterBae: fine. coffee? sunday morning maybe? r u near red hook? 

AmericanIdiot: I’m over in Park Slope. So not too far. Wait, are you serious? You really want to meet up?

WinterBae: let’s meet @ magnolia cafe 10am on sunday

AmericanIdiot: But how will I know it’s you?

WinterBae: i’ll wear a red rose tucked in my hair. cuz i’m classy like that lol

AmericanIdiot: Haha. Nice. I can’t wait.

WinterBae: me too :)

Steve closed the lid of his laptop, unable to believe his luck. He was finally going to meet WinterBae in real life after months of witty banter and playful flirting. He pulled on his sneakers, ready to go run out all the nervous energy thrumming inside him, and he hoped he wasn’t getting his hopes too high. Sam had already pointed out several times that he didn’t know a whole lot about WinterBae, not even what she really looked like. Steve maintained he wasn’t shallow and he knew enough about her to know that she was everything he’d hoped to find in a woman. She was bright and funny, kept him on his toes for sure, and had a biting wit that left him laughing harder than he had in years. Steve had been so lonely since Peggy up and left him, moving back to England after eight months of living together. He was finally ready to move on and he hoped WinterBae would be the one to do that with. 

Across the bustling streets of Brooklyn, in his little apartment in Red Hook, Bucky was rapid fire texting Nat about his date. She cheered him on good naturedly, happy he was actually putting himself back out there after the disaster that was Brock Rumlow. Bucky was proud that he’d been so smooth in asking AmericanIdiot to meet up, or at least smooth by his own nerdy standards. He reminded himself several times that even if the profile pic wasn’t really AmericanIdiot, he would most likely still be interested. How could he not be after spending the past three months talking to the guy every day? They talked about everything together and Bucky felt like he knew AmericanIdiot better than some of his real life friends. Two more days and he would have a name and a face to put with the amazing, brilliant, artistic guy he was completely head over heels for. Now he just had to figure out where to buy a red rose.

xxXxx

Bucky sat at a small cafe table inside Magnolia Cafe, trying not to fidget with the rose tucked behind his ear. He felt a little silly for wearing it, but also kind of like he was in a romance novel waiting to meet his knight in shining armor. He had worn his very best skinny jeans and a black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, leaving his assortment of bracelets on display. He wasn’t getting his hopes up, but damned if he wasn’t going to look his best just in case. Nat had insisted on going along, wanting to make sure Bucky’s online friend wasn’t some kind of creeper. The fierce redhead sat a few tables away, poised and ready to strike should the guy make any untoward moves. Bucky loved how protective Nat was, though honestly she was a bit terrifying at times. So he waited, scrolling through Buzzfeed News, hoping that maybe this once luck would be on his side.

Steve was so nervous he was sweating a little by the time he got to the cafe. He wiped his palms on the side of his tee shirt, wondering belatedly if he should have put in a little more effort. All he had was work clothes anymore, even the navy tee he had on was emblazoned with their star logo and the name of their gym underneath. Paired with the only jeans he owned and a lightweight leather jacket, he hoped he would make a good first impression. WinterBae had mentioned being into fashion but Steve had never had an eye for that sort of thing. Nerves rising, Steve hoped he would be able to find WinterBae easily. He knew only that she would have a red rose tucked in her hair, and from a brief mention a few weeks ago about haircuts, he knew to expect shoulder length wavy brown hair. But that was it. Steve reminded himself that he needed to go into this with open eyes, if nothing else he would walk away with a new friend. Someone other than Sam to hang out with, somewhere other than the gym they co-owned. Deep down though, he still hoped for more.

The cafe was dimly lit inside and it took Steve a minute to let his eyes adjust. He scanned the room quickly, taking note of all the women sitting at various tables. Most were with other people, leaving only four on their own, but try as he might he couldn’t spot red roses on any of them. He felt a pang of disappointment but prayed he was just early and not being stood up. He was about to go order himself an Americano to sip while he waited when he heard a rough, masculine voice call out “AmericanIdiot?” in a tone tinged with awe.

Steve turned in the direction of the voice to see a man about his age with a red rose tucked into his shoulder length wavy brown hair. His mouth moved while his brain reeled, “WinterBae?”

“Yeah! Hey!” Bucky felt like he was vibrating out of his skin; he was so thrilled. The blonde god standing in front of him really was the man from the picture, and he looked even better in real life, if that was possible. Brilliant, sweet, and hot. Bucky had hit the jackpot. 

Steve let himself be pulled into a warm hug, the man was a few inches shorter than his own 6’2” and fit nicely against his chest. The man. WinterBae was a man. Steve replayed all of their conversations in his head and kept coming up with the same assumption. Steve had never once in a million years thought he was a man. He supposed in retrospect that having a female best friend, a love of clothes, and a cat he called a “fur baby” was not necessarily concrete signs of being a woman, but damned if Steve had even thought twice about WinterBae’s gender. He forced himself to return the hug, happy to meet a new friend, even though his heart was crushed under the disappointment that nothing more would be coming of this meeting. 

“I’m so glad you made it.” Bucky told him as they pulled apart.

“Of course. Gotta get my cup of coffee for being tortured by a magical hat.” 

Bucky laughed, a rich rumbling sound, “Yeah, a Slytherin would never pass up the opportunity to benefit off the kindness of others.” 

“Well at least your poor little Huffle-brain won’t realize what’s going on.” 

“Ouch, punk. Those are some strong words from someone who watched Sorcerer's Stone for the first time less than a month ago.” 

“It’s your fault I did too, jerk. Uh, you can call me Steve by the way.” 

“Steve, nice. It suits you. I’m Bucky. Well, James, but everyone calls me Bucky.” 

“Now that’s a story I have to hear.” Steve said with a laugh and let Bucky lead him over to the line for his drink. 

They ended up spending two and a half hours talking at their little table at the cafe. Coffee turned into a muffin to split, which turned into a panini and iced teas for both of them. Steve couldn’t remember the last time conversation flowed so easily with someone. Talking to Bucky felt like they had been best friends for years opposed to only knowing each other a few months. They topic hopped relentlessly, never losing each other along the way. Steve found himself laughing so hard his ribs hurt when Bucky spoke about one of his teenage misadventures with his sister Becca. 

Bucky was very clearly flirting by the time they finished their lunch; shooting Steve sweet little smiles every so often and pushing his hair back behind his ear coyly. Steve knew he should put the breaks on the flirting, he didn’t want to lead Bucky on, but it was so much easier to just smile along with him. In his thirty years of life, Steve had never once questioned his sexuality. Men had never held any attraction for him, but something about the way Bucky chewed on his bottom lip, the tiny tip of his pink tongue peeking out, had part of Steve wanting to taste that lip himself. 

With a cough, Steve shook his head, trying to clear his unexpected wayward thoughts. “I’m sorry, I missed that.” he prompted.

Bucky titled his head slightly with a lopsided smile, “It’s okay. I was just saying that my sister was the one who gave me the courage to come out to my parents. She came out first and seeing how my parents reacted made it a lot easier for me to. She was only 15 at the time, but she always has been a hell of a lot braver than I am.” 

“I doubt that. But that’s great you guys are so close.” 

“Yeah, she’s been my best friend since the day she was born. Well, other than Nat, but don’t tell her that.” Bucky chuckled thinking back on the loving bickering Becca and Nat used to do when they were younger. “So how did you come out to your parents?” 

Steve wanted to die on the spot. A bright blush tinged his cheeks, staining his pale skin all the way down his neck. “I, uh. Well. I’m not. Um. I didn’t, actually. Because I’m not, um, gay.” Please god, let the ground open up and swallow me whole, he prayed silently, unable to meet Bucky’s eyes. 

The smile Bucky had worn, waiting for what he thought must have been one hell of a story based on Steve's blush, completely vanished. Along with all his foolish daydreams of dating someone as amazing as Steve. “Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” he finally choked out semi-normal sounding. 

“No, it’s my fault.” Steve hastily protested, “We talked so much online and I didn’t realize you were a man.” The wide eyed shock on Bucky’s face made Steve realize he hadn’t made things any better.

“Wait, what? You thought I was a woman?” Bucky asked incredulously. 

“Well, yeah. Nothing about your profile or our conversations were very clear and I guess I just somehow jumped to the conclusion that you were. I’m sorry, Bucky.” 

Disappointed but not wanting to miss out on a great friendship Bucky forced himself to smile reassuringly at Steve. “It’s okay. No harm done. So you're straight then?”

“I think so.” 

That did not help things. “That’s kinda something you know.” 

“Yeah, I thought so too. I like talking to you though. A lot.” Bucky was looking at him like he had three heads and Steve just wanted to crawl home and die of embarrassment. 

“Okay. I like talking to you a lot too. We can just be friends though, Steve. I’m not going to get my feelings hurt just because you bat for the other team.” 

“Thanks. I really am sorry. If I were to ever switch teams you’d be the first guy I call. You’re incredible.” 

“Aww come on. You don’t gotta say that. It’s all good, really. Now tell me more about this gym you run.”

Steve sighed, thankful to change topics, “Well, my best friend Sam and I opened it when he retired from the Air Force six years ago.” Steve launched into the story of how he met Sam through the VA where they had both volunteered as teenagers and then years later, they teamed up to start Shield Gym which was now one of the most popular gyms in the city.

The conversation lulled a little after that and Bucky politely refrained from any more flirting. Steve found himself missing the cute little gestures. He couldn’t figure out what the hell was wrong with him but he knew he needed to figure it out sooner rather than later. They parted as friends, swapping cell phone numbers so they could text instead of the message boards and private chats online. Steve initiated the goodbye hug, wanting to test the feeling of the smaller man in his arms once more. It was just as nice as the first time and only added to Steve’s confusion. 

Nat caught up with Bucky barely a block from the cafe, pulling him for a tight hug when she saw his morose expression. “Do I need to kill him?” she asked seriously.

“He's straight.” Bucky told her, “Well, he said he thinks he’s straight. Whatever the hell that means.” 

Nat quirked a brow at that, not commenting though.

“Either way, back to spending all my nights with you and Alpine. And Becca, when the brat has time to fly out.” 

“Maybe don’t write him off just yet.” Nat said carefully, “I saw you two together, it was sweet.” 

Bucky sighed, “I can’t do it, Nat. Just let the poor straight boy be slightly confused on his own before he settles down with some perfect human barbie doll he meets at his gym.” 

Nat pursed her lips in disapproval but remained silent. She wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist and followed him home so they could share a pint of gelato and watch a trashy rom-com until Bukcy felt better.  

“Shit, Sam.” Steve whined at his best friend back in their gym in Park Slope. He’d gone straight from the cafe to the gym, knowing Sam was working the midday shift. “How did this happen?”

“You made an honest mistake, it happens.” Sam tried to be kind with his words, “But, and I’m not saying I told you so, you didn’t really know as much about this guy as you thought you did.” 

“That might have been the politest ‘I told you so’ ever.” 

“I am sorry that it didn’t work out though. I know you thought you really falling for this WinterBae.” 

“His name is Bucky. And, I don’t know Sam, he’s just as incredible in person. More so, even. I don’t know what to do. I’m not gay. But…. maybe I am?” 

Sam set down the bottle of spray disinfectant and the rag he was wiping down the machines with. “Steve, I know you had your hopes up for this guy. But he’s a guy. And being straight, or not straight, is typically something you figure out before your thirties.” 

“I know. I know.” Steve groaned, raking his hands through his hair. 

“At least you made a new friend, right?” Sam tried hopefully.

Steve shook his head, “Yeah, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t know what to do, Sam.”

“You gotta figure that one out on your own, man. But whatever you do, don’t drag that poor boy through whatever premature mid life crisis you got going on. It wouldn’t be fair to him to get his hopes up.” 

“I know that.” Steve fought to keep the glare he wanted to give Sam off his face, “I would never hurt him. I just… I need to think about it, I guess.” 

Sam clapped Steve on the shoulder supportively before resuming his cleaning, “You do that. And if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” 

Steve thanked him and then headed out. He had a lot of thinking to do. 

Ready To Wear, Ready To Play

As previously noted, there’s been yet another change in direction for the Attract Mode blog… which I have dubbed Version 2.8 Final CE EX Λ Core Plus Alpha. BTW/FYI. But yeah, been posting on Twitter, a lot. So much so that you may have missed something, so here’s a recap!

Note: was originally going to cover everything tweeted throughout the month, but because there’s so much to cover (and February’s short)… am guessing bi-weekly might be the way to go. Am also going to present things mostly in order.

K, enough chatter: at the very top is another fine example of a Famicom being the ultimate in fashion accessory (via nintendu). And here we have, not designer threads but designer plastic (via gamefreaksnz)...

Speaking of plastic, Sega (or someone who got Sega’s blessing, or maybe not even) made Super Monkey Ball figures? Guess so (via magimacaque)...

I was under the belief that, if I truly wanted to make an impact with the relaunch of the Attract Mode Twitter, I couldn’t just post one single piece of Klonoa fan art, but two... 

And I only have one example of Cuphead fan art, but it’s the one that counts (via jothelion)...

It was Kyle who helped kick the Attract Mode Twitter’s rebirth into high gear, with the reveal of his Nintendo Power covers. So to help replay the favor, I must insistent that everyone purchase the hard copy of RPG_Friends (which I first mentioned here)...

Nothing makes me happier than seeing such a dense assortment of Japanese game stuffs (via peazy86)...

... Yet that being said, I also believe less can be more, plus a nice breeze while playing Secret of Mana is... well... nice (via sixteen-bit.tumblr)

These gamer chairs perfectly embody Japanese sensibilities when it comes to furniture, plus are a total 180 to the junk they peddle in the US (via shmups)...

Time for another excellent toco toco vid, this one features your fave old school Capcom illustrator, and mine, Akiman…

There's so much I love about this interview with the creator of Hong Kong 1997, whose goal was "to make the worst game possible”. Though this picture of the guy is near the top of my list... 

I love these kooky kids, thinking they could possibly get away with  stealing an entire Final Fight arcade cab (via videogamead)...

Yeah, I feel the same way kid (via tvgame)...

"This is Jesus. He lives inside my Neo Geo MVS cabinet. He was there when I got it. He is glorious." (via arcadephile)...

The pathos that is Sub Zero at the bat, in four modded screenshots(via lanceboyles)...

The pathos that is the Kachō interacting with kids, in just three YouTube screengrabs (via gaijira)...

And the pathos that is Splatoon 2, via two screengrabs and the piece of fan art that resulted (via lunaticobscurity)...

Though in addition to pathos, Splatoon is also filled to the brim with intensity (via thewaragainstgiygas)...

Welcome to VIOLENT CITY (via shmups)...

Also, STAY CHILL (via paperbeatsscissors)...

Not that any band in which music is performed via guitars hooked up to Famicoms is all that typical to being with, but this one is most definitely not typical (via miki800.com)...

This "what the hell is going on exactly" illustration has motivated me to finally Wario Land a spin at long last (via it8bit)...

Remember Absolutely Rose Street, the Beverly Hills 90210 meets Degrassi meets Wayne’s World-esque show that was actually an infomercial for the Sega 32X in disguise that I wrote about a little whiles ago? Well here's ad for it (via oldgamemags)...

I'm a total sucker for old Japanese video game mags, primarily ones featuring models/statues on the cover (via miki800)...

Another cover to an old Japanese game rag, this one featuring the very first Metal Gear; I wonder if this slightly cutesy take helped to inspire the Metal Gear we meet in Snatcher (via mendelpalace)...

Here we have a page from an 11 page comic, done in a single sitting, for an event that celebrates various pairings of Solid Snake/Otacon, one that's called Snot Week for whatever reason (via millionfish)...

I want this woman to be my mom (via cyberfights)...

Am obsessed with this image of a man playing Xevious in the middle of a desert that's clearly fabricated and clearly from the 80s (via shmups)...

mendelpalace sez: "This picture gives me anxiety" and I feel exactly the same...

This is comparable to my own morning commute, except for the lack of floating cherry blossom petals and various other differences (via tightenupthe)...

Spring is almost here, which means it's time for a new wardrobe, which really means it's time to get new PaRappa attire (via miki800.com)...

If a glitched Nintendo logo when booting up a Game Boy looks fashionable to you, you're in luck (via gameandgraphics)...

Tho if a glitched Game Boy Advance start up is more your style (via corruptionasart)...

Has anyone received this Mega Drive/Genesis chiptune album on a cart (described as a "16-bit VMU") yet? (via catskullelectronics)

Ever wonder what a 3 part symphony, one performed via 5 different Nintendo DSs and 5 different copies of Electroplankton, sounds like? Well wonder no more (via mendelpalace)...

And ever wonder what an Italian-based, US-born R&B, blues and disco singer (which is how Wikipedia describes Ronnie Jones) thought of video games in the year 1980? Again, wonder no more (via aestheticoftheday)...

The new DDR, which will record your performance and also add snazzy video effects, is my early contender for GOTY 2018 (via @Sega_AM2)...

I will never grow tired or bored of watching this run cycle, ever (via shmups)...

What appears to be a Nier motion study (via sixteen-bit)...

Sakura-ha (via rosscountertv)..

To commemorate the discontinuation of the Kinect sensor (via prostheticknowledge)...

Google Translate took the original Korean & translated it as: "Ittsumi! Maria", which @NotLikeFreddy re-translated as: "It's-a me, Mary-o"...

The medium of video games most certainly has many mountains to overcome yet, but there's little denying that we've made some progress nonetheless (via videofame)...

"I have to go now. My planet needs me.” (via sixteen-bit)...

Cuz it's been a while since I shared a gif from Sin & Punishment (via n64thstreet)...

The SNES & Genesis had cool accessories and all, yet I often wonder what it would have been like if 3D printers & Etsy were around back then...

Pretty much the cutest lil thing you'll see all day is this Genesis CDX hooked up to a 5″ Sony PVM (via decideweapons)...

“'Club Sega during the Snow' is a top-tier aesthetic, I think." (via pr0jectneedlemouse)

I love old VG sound team photos, especially when they double as old band photos, like Capcom's Alph Lyra here (via videogamesdensetsu)...

You all have no idea how happy I am to finally see a decent sized version of the flyer for Deadly Sport... again, no idea (via melvanainchains)...

Here's an illustration of Terry Bogard eating a hot dog (with the rest of his Fatal Fury posse chowing down as well)...

... Turns out, Terry's affinity for hot dogs is somewhat of a thing (via busterwolf)....

... Or, perhaps SNK as a whole are simply huge fans of hot dogs? (via meldowiseau)

I absolutely love this familiar, yet thoroughly refreshing take on Samus (via lady--peaches)...

And nothing new to report, as it pertains to @deimosremus's Metroid redesign, so am just going to continue staring at this some more...

Love Hultén is mostly known for their handheld creations, like the Pixel Vision, though I mostly dig their full-sized cabinet, the Kabin 1...

"Damn Tecmo never let Microsoft live that design down" (via sixteen-bit)...

Cuz I recently began replaying Breath of the Wild...got the Switch version for the gf on her birthday... some fan art (via it8bit)...

I've seen my fair share of comics with Sonic & Tails, but never one that addresses the debug mode from the original Genesis games (via vg-libary)...

Here we have two cats, from the game Jingle Cats, occupied with the fridge (via obscurevideogames)...

And here we have just one cat, from the Sailor Moon anime, occupied with an arcade game that I am unable to identify (via sailormoonreblogs)...

Can you believe the music video for @MissyElliott's Sock It 2 Me is over 20 years old? Crazy, I know...

Speaking of Mega Man, I guess I need to finally check out Mega Man Zero, cuz apparently X goes through some kind of religious conversion or something (via omnilunary)...

And here we have Cut Man, the one we all know (and love) from Mega Man meeting his Captain N doppelganger (via mewymarsher)...

I absolutely need this on a shirt or jacket (via @buzz_clik)...

It's always a thrill, seeing a fighting stick made out of tupperware in the wild for the very first time, isn't it? (via @silva_hime)

Yes. Fighting Layer is that game in which you jump off a folding chair to smash another one on the head of a gigantic falcon (via lordmo)...

Tonight’s episode: PINBALL ALCHEMIST (via tonights-episode)...

Here we have a Tumblr thread giving suggestions on how to access a seemingly inaccessible area of a hotel lobby; my fave, for perhaps obvious reasons, is the ring path/light speed dash combo from Sonic Adventure...

Am kinda hungry atm and feel like slicing & dicing some celery & onions, plus making some Julienne Fries; anyone got a copy of Sonic 2 handy? (via sonicthehedgeblog)

A. thanks to this fan art, I now know you can also play OutRun in Hokuto no Ken PS4! & B. great piece & all, but...still a shame that Alex Kidd is missing (via inspiredfatty)...

I've legit been staring at these rotating NES and SNES gifs all day long (via 3d-bear)...

These photos from the Dreamcast Mobile Assault Tour, circa the late 90s, right before the system's launch are very... and I mean VERY... 90s (via posthumanwanderings)...

"What will your next dream be?" (via 081594)

You know that UK/US reality show Undercover Boss, in which a billionaire CEO disguises himself as the new mailroom guy? Well there's apparently a version in Japan, with an episode starring the president of Taito (via @MMCafe_Prof)...

On Valentine's Day I came across a horror movies blog that presented various horror movie Valentines, including one for Jason Voorhees that references Friday The 13th for NES (via cameraviscera.com)...

Also, for Valentine's, my girlfriend made me pixelated chocolate; the pic does the blue hearts in particular zero justice, which look like plastic toys, but most assuredly are made of milk chocolate...

... And that’s it for now! The rest of February coming up in a few!

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… Drag Race (S09E05) Reality Stars: The Musical Airdate: April 21, 2017 @vh1 @wowreport Ratings: 0.693 Million :: 0.3 18-49 Demo Share Score: 5.5/10 @logotv

**********SPOILERS BELOW**********

So I’m guessing they’ll be rethinking that Cheerleading Challenge next season… Cuz uhh… I’m not into seeing a frontrunner going home because of an injury for a useless challenge. Somewhere along the way, I lost a heartfelt review for Untucked E2, and I just haven’t revisited due to a full schedule and general frustration. I’m regretting it and I think it’s high time I suck it up, rewatch, rewrite, and get on with it… You just can’t have Drag Race without Untucked, and I’m noticing more and more that these episodes mean less and less without that beautiful, stripped down version of Untucked really giving me a glimpse into who these contestants are and where they’re coming from. I hear Aja is giving Untucked the business… I need to see that. Lord knows, this producer pushed makeup-time ‘grill-and-drill’ psychology sessions feel very much the opposite of 'candid’. Plus, like I’ve said, I’m 200+ pound bearded ex-athlete with a thick, stocky frame, what the fuck is an eating disorder… And why would anyone want to be anything other than a thick piece of meat, male or female? Don’t get me wrong, I get that anorexia and bulimia are serious mental illnesses and caused by an improper sense of proportion and value… And I never want to diminish other people’s real-life afflictions, I have my own… But Sasha, if random people in the street are you telling you to 'Phone Home’… It’s time to get a 'new hobby’… And honestly, its always hard for me to truly believe an overdramatic drag queen, tho Valentina seemed much more honest and sincere in delivery when discussing her issues. Then again, Valentina is raw as fuck and her little 10-Month stint in drag (which is also hard for me to believe) doesn’t mean anything when you’re jam packed with that 'It Factor’ that millions of people in LA are willing to go 'Neon Demon’ for in a snap of a finger.

At least Alexis Michelle finally made an impression on me, because up until this point I wasn’t sure which queen Alexis actually was. These massive personalities seem to just drown each other out on a claustrophobic main competition show and I feel like I’m missing a huge part of the story here. Why VH1 and Logo refuse to show the Untucked series, I’ll never know… Unless this is all a ruse to get more subscriptions to YouTube Red… But upon with their recent issues with LGBTQ filtering, I highly doubt it.

I’m still having a lot of mixed feelings about S9 of Drag Race… It’s nice to see Alexis finally show us why she’s here (even tho that runway happened, wtf right?!), and Shea coming into her own is amazing, deservedly so… But when an episode ends on a contestant that deserves to be there being forcefully eliminated, and then two queens who probably deserved to be in a double elimination end up getting a free pass because of it… Well it’s just a bummer. Sure, Farrah Moan makes a pretty girl (a boy not so much), but she’s just like the city she claims… All lit up and full of emptiness. Sorry, Vegas, but you suck, and you know it. Cynthia embarrassed me and literally proved that bringing her back means absolutely nothing except hearing the words 'Cucu’ inserted in at least 10,000 phrases… While both of them lip sync to some random 'flavor of the week’ pop star who came to judge Drag Queens in a onesie that she borrowed straight from closet of one of the members WWE’s New Day. I’m not a radio man (are you surprised?). I’ve heard the name Megan Trainor, but I don’t know her music and I couldn’t care less what she does and will do, especially after she showed up in Drag Race in that outfit.

Let’s not forget that Nina Bo'Nina Brown serves up Mary J Blige (and that’s a fact 😜) realness on the runway, then they break her down on stage after Todrick relays how she acted a fool during the rehearsal for the challenge (snitch), exploit her weakness, then slam her over the head with a bat with Shea’s face on it. I have seen way too much reality tv to not be able to call it when producers are pushing judges to say certain things to get a reaction from someone who’s having a mini-break down. I like Nina. I hate that she has this massive insecurity… Or as Ru put it 'paranoia’. But obviously now that Eureka is out and Trinity has no one to quip about, they need a pair to fill the 'rivals’ gap… But it’s almost too painful to watch. Whatever is going on on Nina’s head is more than just 'rivals’, and my sensitive 'empathy radar’ is literally ticking off the fucking charts. I really *need* Nina to get it together, put whatever disenchanting issues she has with another strong, talented persons of color achieving greatness and slay the Shay. Don’t get me wrong, I love Shay… She was clearly the winner and one of the main reasons that what sounds like a really negative review actually got higher marks than you might think. I liked Shay from the beginning, pegged her for the dark horse of the competition, mainly because I thought her makeup was a little too 'signature’… But obviously she could be more than that. Bitch is BAD!

This dark tone that underlines this review is definitely caused directly by Eureka’s dismissal… Which I understand, but I’m pissed Eureka was out in a position where his physical limits were tested so early on in the competition. This is not 'RuPaul’s American Ninja’ or an updated Drag-Adult version of Nickelodeon’s 'Guts’. So Ru, speak up next time the human beings you’re supposed to be lifting up and protecting are put in a position where they could get torn ACLS or concussions. I guess one more quip where I refer to that challenge and episode as the 'NFL of Drag wouldn’t hurt. I know this review is a bit salty, that’s why I tried to pack a humorous punch to sit along side it. My ass is heading over to round out my YouTube Red free trial and catch up on Untucked, because I need to be liking all of these contestants much more than I am right now.

I’m Gonna Wreck It

Another movie I haven’t seen, another live blog! This week I’ll be checking out Wreck-It Ralph. Truth be told, idk why I haven’t seen this before: video game and arcade jokes? What’s not to love omg.

Oh my god, 8-bit Disney Animation logo with complimentary 8-bit music. It’s perfect.

Wait a minute...is Ralph really the bad guy if the bulldozer moved his stump first? I can kinda understand his aggression seeing as they hit first. He’s only responding...with fists...

Fastest way to get exposition is to have John C. Riley narrate over a video game lemme tell ya. And the premise makes a lot of sense. Ralph does his job. It just so happens that that job is to wreck everything. And get thrown off a roof. Into mud. Medal-less.

Lol @the-kid​-who-says-“This animation is so real.” I see you, Disney. I see you.

Whoa. Just whoa. The arcade time lapse is so full of old video game references, there is no way you could catch them all in one viewing. Damn, Disney really went all out with the royalties for this movie. Pac-man, Asteroids, Frogger, TMNT, this is beautiful.

And we’re still less than 3 minutes into this movie. Oh, this is gonna be good.

Aw, Ralph wants to love his job but hates it at the same time. Is this gonna be a mid-life crisis told through video games? Please say yes.

Lolololol this is like a modern version of Toy Story. All the video games come to life once the people leave. Oh and Street Fighter II? That could not have been easy to get in this movie (and they only use it for a quick joke about grabbing a drink after work, too. Now that’s dedication to making your world believable).

I’m loving this translation of choppy 8-bit video game motions into a 3D animated world. It’s a subtle touch, but one that makes everything more realistic imo.

Also, loving the meta-humor where Ralph literally wrecks everything he touches. Even the bushes fall over after he brushes them.

Aw, Ralph’s true motivations are coming through... :(

Lol a Bad-Anon meeting? Idk what’s better: the fact that it’s a play on Alcohol Anonymous or the fact that they used Anon from Internet slang.

Nope, I change my mind. The best part about this is how many video game baddies they have here. Bowser, Kano, Dr. Robotnik, Blinky the Ghost, I just can’t believe it.

Aw, the bad guys are really trying to explain to Ralph why being bad isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s nice.

Oh my god, Kano just ripped Zombie’s heart out. That’s hilarious. Fatality (except Zombie is already dead...).

Lol. Thanks, Satan.

I like how everyone freaks out when Ralph says he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore. Society has rules, and if Ralph is trying to break them in the slightest (”go Turbo”), then everyone loses their minds. Even for bad guys, you still gotta follow the rules.

Whoa. Blinky is right. Don’t try and change who you are to be better, accept who you are to be a better you. Damn, deep stuff.

AHHH THE BAD-ANON MEETING WAS IN BLINKY’S RESPAWN BOX FOR PAC-MAN. THAT’S ABSOLUTE GOLD.

Oh my god Game Central Station is magnificent. The gates are outlet faces, and there are so many video game characters there. This is amazing.

Lol “All aboard the Soul Train, outlet 12.” Nice throwback.

Oooo a “random security check” always pulling aside Ralph. Not-so-subtle discrimination allegory. I like it. Also, Lara Croft name-dropping is always a good touch.

Sonic is in this movie too??? Marvelous. Simply marvelous.

Holy crap, Q*bert is homeless because their game got unplugged??? Snake too??? Oh my god that’s right in the feels. Aw and Ralph gives them his cherry. That’s so sweet. Gah this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster of a movie.

Lolololol is that supposed to be Skrillex?

Ralph and Felix’s conversation is so awkward. That makes me sad :(

Ah, Ralph is already breaking stuff. Ah and Felix’s respawn animation. Too cute.

Two things: 1) why are the apartment people so effing rude. Were they raised in a bar? Jfc. 2) I’m loving how anti-social Ralph is. Yea, you tell em buddy. Stick it to the man.

As sad as Ralph wrecking the cake is, you gotta appreciate the pixelated cake-splatter everywhere.

Oh my gosh how did I not see this before?! Tapper is an old video game too! Golly gee, references are everywhere!!!

Super mushrooms and Metal Gear exclamation points in the lost-and-found! Brilliant!

Oh, I get it. Hero’s Duty is supposed to be a cross between Halo and Call of Duty. Modern games are in this movie too. Smashing.

Is that Jane Lynch???? Oh heck yes!

“First Person Shooter coming through.” Niceeeeeeee.

This dubstep-space-robot-bug-thingy-shooter sequence is FUCKING AWESOME. HOLY NUTS WHY CAN’T ALL DISNEY MOVIES BE LIKE THIS.

Even in this chaotic shooting game, “formation” and social constructs are paramount. Damn, society. You scary.

Ralph and the “old video games” calling out the “new video games” for being scary. Got em.

Ha. A giant blue beam to zap all the bugs with. Cute.

Subway product placement? Huh. Interesting.

Also, the jerk guys who are clearly way older than the marketed arcade demographic are total jerks. Realistic arcade representation though. Every arcade has em.

Oh snap. Now I know why “sticking to the program” is so important. If games don’t, then they can be shut down for good. That’s so dark, Disney.

Ah now I wanna learn Q*bert-ese. That sounds really fun.

Also, it’s funny to see how much the village people (pun intended) need Ralph now after they berated him for “wrecking everything.” Yea, karma bitch.

I like how smitten Felix is for high-definition characters. Lol innuendo.

Are the cybug eggs supposed to be a reference to the eggs from Aliens? If so, I approve.

Aw, Ralph just wants everyone’s approval. That’s so sad :( Poor Ralph.

The little cybug just jumped on Ralph’s face. Totally a reference to Aliens.

Hahahahaha. Sonic lost his rings!

Sugar Rush is a mix between Mario Kart and Candyland right? That’s sweet (yes, pun intended again).

Also, that’s a theme catchy song.

I can’t believe that’s Sarah Silverman!

Whoa was that a glitch...? Do they have those in this movie?

If cybugs are viruses, does that mean Hero’s Duty is like the Norton Antivirus of the arcade then? Lol that’d be a riveting game.

Pay-to-play for this racing competition seems like it guarantees the richest racers will always race…it’s almost like the top 1% of racers will always stay at the top…hey wait a minute, Disney…

I like how the coins dissolve in to 0’s and 1’s. It’s the little details that make this movie awesome.

Oh no, Ralph’s medal got dissolved…

So Vanellope is a glitch. Whoa.

Haha. The cops are donuts. Got em.

Is that Ralph or Shrek?

AH IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REPRESENTATION OF POLICE BRUTALITY??? AH DISNEY I SEE YOU

Whoa, glitch discrimination. That’s some deep stuff yo.

THE OREOS ARE FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ I’M GONNA McFREAKIN’ LOSE IT

Children of the Candy Corn? There are so many references in this movie that I highly doubt younger audiences will recognize.

Lol. Fun-geon. Pun-geon. Aha, ok. I’m done-geon. Oh my god. It went full circle.

A Darth Vader breathing reference? What doesn’t this movie have???

Pixlexia? Is that a play on dyslexia?

Holy fuck, these racers are awful. They’re destroying Vanellope’s car just cuz she’s different? WTF.

Yay! Ralph to the rescue!

Haha. Ralph can break everything except a jawbreaker. Just like I remember them.

Oh snap. Nvm, he did.

Why would a creepy character like Turbo be the hero of a racing game? He sure doesn’t look like a hero…

Also, good exposition for the word “Turbo.”

Ahaha. Nesquik-sand. I love Nesquik. But I hate sand. It’s rough. And course. And it gets everywhere (lol, ok I’m done).

Aha Laffy Taffy that laugh. This movie is full of puns too? Oh I am in love.

Aaaaand insert obligatory Disney romance subplot here.

Lol. Gunshots are the fastest way to silence unwanted singing.

Oh my gosh. Candy-cybugs???

Is Vanellope calling Ralph “Knuckles” supposed to be a Sonic the Hedgehog reference? If so, I love it.

Lolololol did she just call him GLaDOS too??? Gold!!!

A game within a game. Game-ception? Nope, a mini-game!

Aw Vanellope and Ralph are bonding.

AW VANELLOPE LOVES THE CAR RALPH MADE FOR HER. THAT’S SO FUCKING PRECIOUS.

I get the vibe I’m not supposed to like King Candy, but his puns save me. Spiritually, ethically, psychologically. Everything.

Ahhhhh the ol’ Mentos and Diet Coke trick. Good one.

Whoa. The parallels between Vanellope and Ralph are striking, sure. But the fact that she can’t even leave her game because she’s a glitch? That’s hard stuff. At least Ralph can go where he pleases. Damn, Disney.

Lol, Vanellope learning to drive is exactly how I was in driver’s ed. “What do these pedals on the floor do?”

Vanellope has a chance to win if she can “get that glitch under control?” That totally undermines the entire message of the movie thus far! What the heck!

AAAAAAAHHHHH THE UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-START CHEAT CODE!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Aw, even Vanellope’s code is alienated from the rest of the game…

Lol, come on Felix. Put a trigger warning on before you say “Dynamite gal.”

HOLY FUCK VANELLOPE WILL DIE IF SHE WINS THE RACE. OH MY GOD KING CANDY’S LOGIC MAKES SENSE BUT HOLY FUCK THAT’S AWFUL. JESUS DISNEY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.

AAAAHHH VANELLOPE MADE RALPH A MEDAL OH MY GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH RALPH NO NOT THE CAR OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NO NO NO

This movie is really sending mixed signals about being bad. Is it good to be bad? Is it bad to be bad? Are bad guys just alone no matter which way they try to be?

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. Why is Vanellope on the side of the arcade game if she’s a glitch? Game makers wouldn’t do that…what’s going on…

Lol, I literally just thought of that Ralph. No fair.

Haha. Candy-coated Heart of Darkness. The horror. The horror.

Jesus, eating Sour Bill is like dunking him in acid. Ralph is twisted, wow oh wow.

Whoa. Jeez how omnipotent is King Candy? He forcibly made Vanellope a glitch, then locked up everyone’s memories of her? Whoa.

The game will reset if Vanellope crosses the finish line? Hm….

Also, nice “stick around” pun, Ralph.

Lol. Felix making the bars stronger is great.

So is Ralph returning to being bad…by doing something good? Again, what is this movie trying to say! Be good or be bad??? Be bad with good intentions??? Jeez, I’ve never had such an identity crisis over a movie before!

Haha. The assorted fans with nuts are the Cameron Crazies. Nice touch.

Ooooooo I love the camera pan-around for the racecars! Just like in Mario Kart!

Ah someone even spun out before the start! Didn’t get the timing right, eh?

Now that’s what I call pod-racing!

Ayyy nice. Vanellope’s glitch moved her ahead of those Mean-Girl-esque candy racers!

Damn, Vanellope is 2 fast 2 furious for King Candy (with a little Tokyo Drift thrown in there for good measure).

Oh my god. It all makes sense now. King Candy is Turbo. He passed his glitch on to Vanellope so she’d be the outcast and not him. But Vanellope inadvertently passed it back to him and exposed him. Whoa.

Oh nice, another literary reference. On the “Come back soon” sign, it says “Parting is such sweet sorrow…” from Romeo and Juliet. Nice one (and a good pun too).

Oh god, Vanellope still can’t leave the game.

No no no she can’t die. No no no don’t do it, Disney.

Oh I see. Ralph is using his bad wrecking powers for good. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhh snap. Now Turbo is game-hopping virus. Shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO. IS RALPH GONNA DIE???

Oh. He didn’t. Good.

Wait, is Vanellope getting a dress? Aw come on, Disney. I thought we were done with gender stereotyping.

Whoa, what??? Princess Vanellope??? Yo way to go!!!

Yea, Vanellope, yea! Execute those suckers! Fuck em up!!!

Aw, she was just kidding. Darn it.

Lol, constitutional democracy? President Vanellope? Yea, I’d vote for her.

Jesus, even with a happy ending, Disney has to play with my heart. Why does Ralph have to say goodbye. Why why why.

Aw a nice sweet happy ending where everybody wins. Good ol’ Disney.

HOLY CRAP RALPH CAN SEE VANELLOPE RACING WHEN HE GETS THROWN OFF THE BUILDING THAT IS SO FREAKING CUTE OH MY GOSH

AHHHHH WHAT A PERFECT ENDING. WHAT A PERFECT LAST LINE. AHHHHH THIS MOVIE IS SO PERFECT. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW GAAAAAHHHHHH

OH MY GOODNESS JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER. THE PAC-MAN ENDGAME GLITCH IS AT THE END OF THE CREDITS DURING THE DISNEY LOGO. HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

This movie is beautiful. Just simply beautiful.

Game #8: The Pretender

Hard open. Mike McGuire stared intensely at the camera, background obscured. Their emerald gaze was unwavering, a frigid glare. This image held in silence a moment before their lips twitched a couple times, followed by a snort issuing from their nose. The edges of the eyes crinkled a bit and the lips pursed inward, cheeks puffing slightly as if trying to hold something inward. And then it happened. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The camera pulled back a bit to reveal the full extent of McGuire’s laughter- they went from holding their sides to smacking their knee, taking a few gasping breaths to try, against all odds, to regain some form of composure. “Aw, fuck. Aw, s-shit, I’m sorry, I just… you’re gonna… you’re gonna take me out back and…” More laughter. Almost as if this very notion was the most hilarious thing they’d ever heard in their entire life. “...s-shoot me like Old Yeller! Oh my fuckin’ god I’m gonna pee. Okay. Okay. Shit.” A few more inhales and exhales. In through the mouth, out through the nose. The Bronx Brawler’s surroundings appeared to be her and her partner’s hotel room in Cusco, and Mike themself is currently clad in hiking gear- sturdy boots, cargo shorts, a black tank with the baseball-sugar skull and bat-crossbones logo of Los Veleros de Columbus, and, of course, their Mets cap. They sat on the end of the bed, bouncing a bit. “Me and Church are about to go hike up to Machu Picchu. I was thinking of responding to whatever you planned on saying on the way up. You know, about how you were gonna be a tough mountain to climb or whatever ridiculous bullshit. Make the most of the surroundings to make a fuckin’ point. Then I wondered why the holy blue fuck I would want to waste even a few minutes of a life-changing experience like this talking about you. Oh, and then I saw what you actually put together. Girl. I can’t. I have lost all fuckin’ ability to can. Did you seriously fuckin’... okay.” Reaching behind them, Mike retrieved their laptop, cracking it open. “I don’t know if you know this is what you fuckin’ sounded like, and I ain’t no goddamn’ computer artist, but I had to make some kind of visual aid. ...Where the fuck did I.. ah. Here we go.” Spinning the laptop around, the viewing audience was treated to a rather hideous image that, frankly, could’ve been put together better by a middle school student. “Onions have layers. Dakota Jennings has layers. And as you can see, ogres have layers, so the best I could put together that you were tryin’ to fuckin’ tell me was that you, Jennings, are a fuckin’ ogre. Which makes a whole lotta fuckin’ sense, to be honest- I mean, you’re ill tempered, not overly fuckin’ bright,  and have the kind of fuckin’ attitude that points to you bein’ born and raised in a goddamn swamp. But, y’know, maybe I don’t have much room to talk on those points. So let’s get serious.” The laptop is snapped shut and tossed on the bed behind them, their hands folding on their lap, the intense expression from before finding its way back onto their face. “I really do find your threats cute. You’re gonna take me out back and shoot me. You’re gonna make me cry my eyes out. Do you think I ain’t heard that shit before? I can’t count how many others have tried the same lines on me. I ain’t scared. I ain’t fucking intimidated. After all the punishment I’ve taken over the course of my career? I don’t sweat anything anybody has to dish out. So all your fuckin’ yapping is just the angry barks of a pissed off Pomeranian to me.” Mike waved a hand, scoffing. “You’re also making a big deal pointing out just how wrong my assumptions are. How, ‘no! I was only pretending to be a fuckin’ twit! I really am fuckin’ awesome when I don’t have a chair handy! Behold my… two whole fuckin’ video clips illustrating this fact! I was in MMA! I have a chokehold!’ Great. Wonderful. You keep running your mouth and showing me home movies and I’ll continue to not fucking believe you till I see it myself, mano e womano. If you really needed to use a chair at Rite of Kings just to put me down, cuz you couldn’t get the job done otherwise? Woman, you just admitted with your own damn mouth that on an even playing field, I am better than you. And if that really ain’t the case? And you haven’t needed to stoop to the tactics you’re known for at all, cuz you really are an awesome wrestler, really, honest? Then Jennings, that just means you’re fuckin’ lazy.” They sat up straight. “I stand by what I said. And it counts double now that you’ve gone and made such a big honkin’ deal about it. If you make a fucking hypocrite out of yourself, I am not gonna be a happy goddamn camper. And my threats? They ain’t cute. I ain’t no little ginger Pomeranian, I’m a goddamn junkyard Rottweiler with giant fuckin’ balls. I will rip your fuckin’ windpipe right out of your neck if you try to screw me. But hey, you’re not gonna have to worry about that, right? You’ve shown me what a straight shooter you are. And you’re nothing if not trustworthy, Jennings.” They got up, and looked down into the camera, their expression utterly wicked. “Least, for your sake, I hope that’s the case. See you real soon.” Click to black. Several hours later, NSFW were well on their way. Mike had a large hiking pack, complete with packed-up bedroll, tucked on their back, and John had likewise. It would take all of their ‘vacation’ time to make it to the ancient Incan citadel and back, but in Mike’s mind, at least, it would be worth it- the hike would serve as a good extended workout, and besides, this was a once in a lifetime experience. Every international destination they visited promised something like this- one of the best perks of their job was the opportunity to see the worlds’ greatest and most breathtaking landmarks. So far, the hike along the Lares Trail was amazing even in its early legs. The ground they walked was a well-trodden dirt pathway, and the sky was as clear and blue as Mike had ever seen. A small herd of llamas, likely property of a nearby Andean village, grazed on the low grass. Eyes wide, Mike turned to their partner. “Incredible, ain’t it?” John didn’t say anything, he looked about - absorbing his surroundings. There was a faint smile on his face that may tell Mike just what he thought. Mike quickened their pace just slightly, allowing themself to walk at his side, keeping pace just a ways behind their guide and the same ways behind the pair of donkeys that served as pack beasts. Their hand slipped into his easily. It was refreshing to do so- even if there were only a few others around, minus the residents of the village, it was still a more public display of affection than they usually displayed. They didn’t have to hide. They were as a rightful part of the world as the ancient city they were heading toward, as the little villages they passed through where the Andes people had lived in the same way for thousands of years. “...we belong here.” It was part of their thoughts escaping aloud- just loud enough, however, for John to hear it. The guide motioned that they’d be stopping for a break, and Mike took a seat on a nearby rock wall that was probably ten times their age. John sat beside them. “Makes one envious even,” John’s voice was just above audible, “I’m good with coming back. But I meant it. And while I feel invigorated... one day we need to step away. Satisfied with what we’ve accomplished. Because there is always more that we could do. Always more.” “I know.” They always did. They always knew this story, or at least this version of this story, would end one day. Where they’d reach the last page of the book called ‘NSFW’ and put it up on the shelf so they could start writing the book called ‘John and Mike’. “I still wanna do this though, when we can. I never wanna stop seeing things like this. Experiencing the fuckin’ world. I know we probably won’t be able to travel’s easy or often as we do now, cuz we got the perk of not having to pay for airfare an’ shit, but… yeah. Promise me we can still do this?” “I like doing what you like,” he paused. He knew that was something that stuck in Mike’s craw lately. His mind clicked and whirred as it struggled to clarify his stance, “I like it, too.”   “I’m glad. … Holy shit, check that out!” Mike pointed upward. Soaring over their heads was a magnificent bird. Even from high up, Mike could tell that it was enormous- the biggest bird they’d ever seen in their life. Their hand gripped onto John’s super tight. “...he reminds me of you. Huge and regal as fuck. I bet he could swoop down and carry off a whole fuckin’ llama but he doesn’t. He just wants to fly where he wants and be awesome on his own terms.” “He seems nice.” There was a pause. And then Mike laughed. Not the harsh, mocking laughter they’d recorded that morning, but something far sweeter. Fonder. They cracked a couple of energy bars out of their pack and opened up their canteen, handing John one and going back to watching the bird- an Andean Condor, though they didn’t know that- circle majestically around the valley. “Yup. He sure does.”