speaking more from my last post about shadow magic and its just. so interesting tbh. like the first mention of shadow magic comes from khrysalis when we enter the eclipse tower and it gives us interesting looks into how shadow magic as a whole is regarded in the spiral...

its so insane to hear that its a forbidden magic and that grandmother raven and BARTLEBY of all people forbade it to be taught. raven i could probably understand, but considering we are now bartlebys scion... it's hard to think about the possibility that he didn't trust us before. an outsider from the spiral learning a forbidden magic...

i think what's also interesting is the fact that the shadow magic the wizard learns is a wholly unique one. shadow magic corrupted the moon magic inside the tower, so there's a possiblity that our wizard only knows this specific subset of shadow magic—one that's been permanently altered by moon magic in the eclipse tower, and one that can only be taught by sofia darkside.

it makes me wonder if velma knows the same kind, or if hers and the wizard's shadow magic is different... is one more volatile than the other? or if there's no difference at all and im looking into it too much lolol

knowing this and knowing raven forbade anyone in the spiral from ever learning shadow magic, it would make a little bit of sense for how hostile she initially seems towards the wizard... if we take what we saw from the book of secrets, then we know that magic law states that nothing is an accident—magic is reactive and 'sentient' to a certain degree, so there was no mistake in the wizard freeing grandfather spider from his prison using magic, because that's what they wanted.

granted it was for other reasons... but it doesn't paint a pretty picture of any of us. the wizard learns shadow magic, the wizard frees spider, and then spider goes on to say that theyre his favorite.

i think what makes this particularly more tragic is the fact that the wizard didn't even have a choice. sofia says this herself!

they need to learn it. the sword of kings isn't enough. being a child of prophecy isn't enough. they failed once before, and theyre not eager to fail again. theyll try anything, and everything, and that includes... freeing grandfather spider.

which, you know, speaking of backlash... sofia mentions it too lol.

which is interesting to me... i always complained that the morganthe fight needed a bit more oomph—which, i still believe it does, to some extent—but i think how she died was a fitting end to her. crushed underneath the weight of her own powers, her own shadow—her backlash. she was the instrument of her own defeat, and, well... that could have very well been the wizard. she's our reflection, our parallel. i think it's why the wizard never mentions or claims that theyre the one that did her in—because they technically... didn't, but they also did. which is cool!

much to think about....

hi!! i love ur writing sm :D

do u think u could do a pidge x reader where reader is english/history smart and pidge is math/science smart, so they became academic rivals (but they always secretly respected and even admired eachother), never saw eachother after pidge left for the garrison and THEN somehow find themselves together again on the castle ship. (maybe reader helped keith save shiro or sumthing like that?)

kinda a classic academic rivals to lovers thing

i daydream diff scenarios with her too often lol

sorry if i didn’t leave a lot of room for imagination :( but i’d love to see ur take on it if possible!!

THIS IS SO ADORABLE YOUVE GOT TO B KIDDIN ME RN 🥹💚💚💚 I love my little Pigeon girl, they are my fav Paladin by far. Also sorry, I bounce between she/her and they/them for Pidge. Idk it’s a habit…also LEE PLZ FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING NEARLY A YEAR TO GET TO THIS 🥹

Academic Rivals to Lovers w/ Pidge

So it all started when Pidge and you were both new to the garrison. You both kept hearing about this super smart person that was new to school and, in typically cocky fashion, you both assumed everyone was talking about you, as in yourself. But then…Lance started teasing Pidge about how there’s another new crazy intelligent kid and telling her she has competition now.

Immediately upon hearing this, Pidge takes it upon herself to figure out who you are, what your deal is and if she should consider you friend…or foe

The first time you two meet, it’s a bit awkward. It’s sort of like…both your friend groups helped yall finally meet and get to talking. They figured you guys could keep up with each other in convo, both being so smart and well spoken. As your friends all stood around, obviously clueless as to what yall were talking about, your friendly banter quickly escalated to you and Pidge very loudly debating which is more interesting and essential to the evolution of human life and knowledge, English and history OR math and science.

Pidge is probably now yelling something like “HOW ELSE IS HUMANITY GONNA EVOLVE?! SCIENCE AND MATH ARE ESSENTIAL FOR NEW DISCOVERIES AND FUTURE GROWTH AND FINDING OUT WHATS BEYOND EARTH AND-“

And you’re now trying to yell over her “YEAH OKAY OKAY AND HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF !!! HOW WILL HUMANITY EVOLVE UNLESS WE KNOW ABOUT ALL THE HISTORY OF HUMANS AND MISTAKES WEVE MADE AND-“

Everyone else around yall: 🤔😥🫠

From that point on, it became a competition, it was all about who could finish their test first, who could finish their book first, who got the higher grade on their essay or quiz.

Then, Pidge started trying to one up you by learning even more about YOUR fav subjects just to rub it in your face that she’s smarter and better than you in EVERYTHING AND EVERYWAY. (Not really, she’s actually just trying to impress you but also playfully tease you about it)

And guess what…you do the same. Y’all are basically like Keith and Lance with that love hate, frenemies type relationship.

And secretly…yall are pining so hard for each other, not so much annoyed at how smart the other is…but more infatuated with learning more about what the other is really into. You complimented each other well. You had a lot in common while also being total opposites in some aspects.

Pidge finds herself in bed at 2am one night with a book she saw you reading once. It looked fairly interesting and she wanted to see what the hype was about. As she read more and more, she began daydreaming about you as her eyes scanned over page after page, her mind focused solely on you as the words she read seemed blurry, not sticking in her brain…you were taking up too much space in there atm.

You found yourself trying to read about and learn how to code and work on tech. You found yourself totally lost and out of your element. It kinda made you smile…thinking about how she was already a science and tech wiz and now she was really getting into history and English thanks to you. Maybe…she was smarter and…maybe it’s all very important.

Before you could gather the nerve and swallow your pride and go apologize to her for treating her less than kind and being an annoying snob…

Shit hit the fan…

You helped Keith save Shiro, ended up in space in what felt like the blink of an eye and suddenly, you and pidge were attached at the hip.

It was like the severity of the situation and Pidge’s fierce determination completely erased your guys’ past together. Now, it was time to band together for the sake of everyone and everything. For the sake of her family.

You and Pidge began spending A TON of time together, often helping each other with tasks, codes, anything the others needed help with. Y’all were the puzzle solvers, the hackers, the ones Lance and Keith came to when they didn’t understand something, the cutie little nerd duo 🥹

With each time you two hung out, you found yourselves both relaxing more, joking and laughing more around each other, bonding more.

Pidge began coming to you all the time to show you new inventions or test out weird stuff on you. You were kinda flattered she always came to you first.

You began often running to Pidge after every book you’d read from the library in the castle. You’d be all excited about something new you just learned about Altean history, zooming through the halls with a huge smile as you look for your girl.

You bust into the room like “HEEYYYYY! OH MY GODDDD GUESS WHAT!!! Soooo, I just found out-“

Cue you rambling for at least 20 minutes while Pidge just smiles and nods along (occasionally she watches your lips move as you talk, only for a couple seconds before she looks back into your eyes)

As time went on, you found yourself becoming increasingly protective over Pidge, especially when out in battle. You…just like her and don’t wanna see your friend hurt or scared.

The first time she ever got hurt, or even got close to getting caught by the galra, she came back to the castle to see you waiting for them in the lion’s hangar, tears streaming down your face. You thought she would be in worse shape and even tho she looked perfectly fine, you were still distraught.

Y’all never really touched besides playful nudges and when you’d ruffle her messy hair but that day…yeah, you hugged her hard that day….

She was a little confused. No one else was this concerned for her so…why were you so freaked out? She was fine, actually more calm than you were atm.

You were so comforted and lowkey entranced by her soft embrace that you didn’t even notice Pidge was now on their knees, bringing you gently down into the same position, as you squeeze each other tighter down on the floor.

“Geez, (Y/N)…you alright?” she mumbles as she pulls back to look at you, worry present on her face.

“I’m sorry, I just…you’re like my best friend. I don’t know if I can do this without you. You…you need to be more careful!”

She was…frozen…watching your lip quiver.

You called her your best friend. The ‘best’ part really made her stomach drop. She was glad you two were closer now and not in a constant academic battle…and it’s not that she doesn’t consider you her best friend, she just…didn’t know you thought so highly of her.

Your friendship and relationship are a slow burn.

For months upon months, y’all just hang out, stay friends, bond over space tech and space history, occasionally cuddle, once in a while you’ll hold hands. Oh shoot, are yall falling asleep in the same bed? Whoa, wait…she’s started hugging you every single day. OMG SHES SO CLOSE TO YOUR FACE AS SHE LOOKS OVER INTO THE BOOK YOU’RE READING AND D A M N YOU REALLY WANNS KISS HER FRECKLED CHEEK RN, WOULD THAT BE WEIRD???

It’s a slow burn…until it isn’t anymore.

You’re the one to confess to her and Pidge is looking at you like 🫤 “oh uhm…I thought we…already kind of established that we…like each other more than friends…?”

You feel kind of dumb but excited nonetheless!!! SHE LIKES YOU BACK!!!!

The rest of the team is even like “Wait, yall hold hands and sleep in the same bed most nights. You’re not dating yet??? Hello?”

And from then on, you guys are absolutely love sick besties together. Not so much love sick in a physical touchy sense but just very emotionally supportive and kind and sweet to each other.

🥹🥹🥹

TOSO:

While TOSO's conscious ways are deemed as priceless, one can expect his overrall sound to be cheaper by the dozen! His range of topics (if measured) are off the scale. Nevertheless, he's fresh to death goddamnit!

In an instant the MC could be speaking on how we're robots in our modern society, "From the fact since I was young, I was raised to be a slave/Go to school, study math, beatings if my grades were bad. When all I really want to do is play some ball or write some raps../Hoping I can talk some real sh-t into all these little kids/What you're learning is from within. F-ck the system that was built. 'Cause real authority only comes after someones just been killed/True will is all it takes, turn yourself into a great." (Cant Stop Me). Then, TOSO can speak on how he's got varieties when it comes to his kush & women, "Have sex with b-tches in all 50 states/High everytime & it all feels the same/Yeah it's insane, rollin' them plain/ Quarter with me everywhere I go." (Fish Scale) or "When I do shows, f-ck h-es/Get checks (So Outstanding). However, it all comes down to the cadence he decides to use.

With this in mind, he says "The combination of meaning, cadence, flow & word choice is what makes for a good verse. A perfect verse will roll off your tongue perfectly without loosing breath. People should be able to understand your words & the flow you choose. Essentially your voice should be like another instrument on the beat." And so TOSO does his diligence to make a song for every mood.

On the other hand — the flow he chooses is stopped short. Simply, to keep a listener hung up on his choice of rhyme schemes. Yet TOSO's pride runs deep on creating #1 hits. 
"I love thinking about & creating new songs. But I love recording them even more." TOSO adds "Recording a song is like game-time to me. When I’m in the booth I know that all my practice has come down to that moment. I know whatever I do from that point on will be on record forever." All these components help TOSO to reach all audiences. At most, it's really unbiased.

Griginally from the suburbs of Lincoln, Rhode Island — TOSO is an independent hip hop artist who now resides in Los Angeles, California. Fond of his hometown's cheap rates, TOSO loves the fact that all of his friends & family are back there. But maybe (just maybe) they'll move to The Golden State? "Ever since moving to L.A I’ve realized how much more expensive things are in the West compared to the East Coast." he goes on to say "I’m sure if any of them had a chance to move to California they would in a heart beat."

Raised by parents who are migrants from Nigeria, he also has 1 older sister. In his earliest years, TOSO was involved in sports. However at 6 years old, he was involved a life threatening car accident that left him with a huge scar above his right eye. By college TOSO was playing Division 1 college basketball. Then he began taking music seriously & put his basketball career on halt to pursue it further.

Throughout the years he's loved writing. He would even write essays & create stories from his imagination. But TOSO took it further in middle school with song lyrics in middle school (which came naturally). He recalls his first time rapping in front of people in the 5th grade. It then followed with a couple of his friends asking him to freestyle for them. By high school TOSO was writing song lyrics to instrumentals. Then the MC found out quickly that he had a talent for making music; but was still serious about playing basketball & going to the NBA. So he decided to keep music as a hobby. Fast forward to TOSO's sophomore year of college when he had an apartment with some friends & basketball teammates. Suddenly TOSO had an ephiphany. For the long haul, TOSO wanted to start making music. "My teammates, Parris Massey, was also into making music & had a microphone set up in his room. Soon after moving in together, I would hang out with him whenever he recorded songs. During that summer Wiz Khalifa dropped “Kush & Orange Juice”, which had a huge influence on my life. I went from being a serious athlete to becoming a pot head musician. Most people saw this as a bad turn in my life, but I knew that If I worked hard I could turn my situation into a positive one." says TOSO.

Since then TOSO has been perfecting his craft & working on becoming the greatest rapper that’s ever lived. Ultimately his love for making music & hearing himself drove him to take it seriously. "I loved the reaction I got out of people when they heard my music. I loved the adrenaline that I felt after getting off stage at my first performance. I love the satisfaction of perfecting a song that I’ve heard in my head." A carefree being, TOSO keeps in mind that time is his to own! While he follows his intuition, he strays away from unneccesary drama. "In my music my message is that there’s no right or wrong way to live life." says TOSO "Enjoy your time as much as you can while you are here, effect the world the way you want to effect the world & let everything else play it’s part."

Likewise his music allows him to be honest & show people it’s ok to feel all sorts of emotions. It's very unpredictable. "Sometimes I’ll go through 500 beats in a day & only find 6 that I like. But usually out of those 6 I’ll be able to make a couple hit records." adds TOSO "After finding the beats comes the fun part. Writing song lyrics makes me feel as good as I use to feel when I played basketball. Coming up with a catchy metaphor is like hitting a nice jump-shot. Sometimes I’ll write a clever lines and get so excited about it that I scream out in joy. I love thinking about & creating new songs, and I love recording them even more." TOSO even says that writing lyrical verses & harmonizing are his biggest strengths. For him, writing lyrics & harmoninzing are like solving math equations. Harmonizing comes from his soul & he usually has no control over what harmony he uses because the different instrumentals dictate them. "Staking different melodies & harmonies are my favorite."

As artist, TOSO believes that they've got it all wrong. When it comes down to it, he says that in today's generation encouraging words, likes, shares, & attendance to shows are considered support. However artists expect their family & friends to do these things without hesitation. Honestly though, they are not required to. "Support comes from true fans who like you & your music. Make better music & present yourself a better way. The support will come." In addition TOSO wishes the current era would start a union that gathered all their fans & moved them in a positive direction. Fans need to get educated on the laws of their state & about banks. It's best to start a credit union. 

For all the upcoming artist — TOSO advises you to make clear-cut music & videos. Along with this, he encourages you to perform at any show they can & to network. Yet the most important piece is to know your worth.

Expect the interchangable MC to drop an album real soon. In his words, he's been working on his debut album titled “The Prophecy”for the past 3 years. It consist of his best work yet & has been the most difficult project he's ever worked on. "I feel like Jay-Z or J-Cole when they dropped their first album. Although I’m releasing it fully independent." TOSO goes on to say "I believe the music speaks for itself. Each song has a different vibe but the cohesive unit sounds like one sound. The best parts of the album are the instrumentals & the lyrics."

Moreover it took him 2 years to pick the beats on this album. "Each day I would go through over 100 beats & probably only wrote to 4 of them. Then after I had 20 songs written I would narrow it down to 3. I would repeat that until I had 15 songs. In the end I narrowed it down to 13 songs for the album. These are all my best songs and probably better than most the songs you hear on the radio. I plan to release this album this summer, but the date is still pending." 

Before the album TOSO will be releasing a single from the album called “The Best”. He says that this song is very uplifting & melodic. It's guaranteed to give everyone a good vibe. TOSO will also be releasing some tracks that didn’t make it on the album. "Even though they are not good enough to be on the album, I think they are still worthy enough to share with my fans." he says. The first release is titled “Can’t Stop Me” and can be heard HERE: https://song.link/i/1460102483w

By: Natalee Gilbert

LINK(s):

1. SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/therealtoso

2. Instagram: @therealtoso

3. YouTube: www.youtube.com/TheRealToso

4. Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheRealToso

Stranger Than Fanfiction — An addendum

So, I have a Twitter account. I know I hardly ever mention it, and the link to it is easy to miss in the blog's theme, but it exists. I almost forget about it myself, because I am the kind of human being who does that. Ahem.

All this to say, it feels like a semi-miracle that someone actually replied to one of my tweets on the Snark Theater account (specifically, the one about my Stranger Than Fanfiction review, and like another semi-miracle that I noticed it within just a few hours and not…like, months later. And I guess that adds up to a full miracle, because my miracle math is flawless like that.

Let's have a look (Disclaimer: I do not endorse people reading this blog post going after this Twitter user, so please don't do that, guys.)

Transcript:

The book is a NY Times best seller so a lot of people disagree with you. "It ain't Shakespeare." I bet he laughs all the way to the bank!

Hoo boy. Well, on the plus side, thank you, Twitter user gobbledguck, for reminding me about a crucial point I completely missed in my original review. Let's discuss. And I'm warning you in advance, this is probably going to be a little rambling. More than usual, I mean.

Now, I'm not talking about the tweet in general. "But if popular, how can it be bad?" is a question to which I've had a definitive answer for five years now: Fifty Shades of Grey. We live in a post-Fifty Shades world and popularity has been thoroughly debunked as a measure of quality.

So I'm not going to argue with the fact that the book is a best-seller, especially in the case of this specific book, which, in case you forgot, is written by a person who has millions of pre-established fans for something that has nothing to to with writing and who would buy anything he puts out there. Including, reluctantly so, this guy right here typing this blog post. I did not mention having a celebrity crush on Chris Colfer as a joke. It is well documented.

With the ritual self-depantsing out of the way, let's talk about the actually interesting thing in this tweet, and the one that actually ties back into the book. The (incorrect, but let's ignore that detail) quote. Let's put it back in context, which is from page 2 of Stranger Than Fanfiction.

Naturally, when it first premiered the critics treated the show [Wiz Kids, the fictional show protagonist Cash Carter stars in] like a piñata. […] However, with each fatal blow Wiz Kids only received more attention. People tuned in to see the "absurdity" for themselves, but they were not repulsed as promised. Audiences found the show's campiness to be rather charming, its unique underdog spirit resonated with them, and a global phenomenon was born. No, it wasn't Shakespeare, but on the bright side, it wasn't Shakespeare.

The low-hanging fruit response to this tweet is pretty simple. They are, after all, referencing the fact that the show is terrible, in the book's own text. It is beloved, but even the book's protagonists admit in hindsight that they don't like the show for itself as much as they like it for the community it gave them. (Which is pretty comparable to Chris Colfer's own Glee).

But let's not reach for the low-hanging fruit, because I think choosing Shakespeare of all points of comparison to be incredibly interesting. You could rephrase that last sentence of the quote as "it wasn't high art, but on the bright side, it was accessible." Which is funny to use Shakespeare for that, who…you know, made low-brow entertainment. Yeah, Shakespeare's popularity didn't stem from him writing stuffy, obscure stuff that only a tiny amount of elites could understand. It came from him writing (mostly) good stuff.

There's this weird trend these days to present critical acclaim and commercial success as antithetical, and I don't really get it. Or actually, I do, but the anti-intellectualism it derives from is kind of scary to me and I'm already planning an essay of sorts about anti-intellectualism, so I'm not sure I want to examine it in detail right about now.

The point is: anyone who criticizes something is immediately dismissed as wrong, a buzzkill, or in this specific case, fighting in vain against an overwhelming tide. It's become common to glorify being panned by critics, and it makes me wonder: what exactly are the ambitions of the people doing that?

I mean, look at Chris Colfer. What's his motive for writing this book? Is it to make money, as is implied by our Twitter user above saying he'll be "laughing all the way to the bank" at my little review? I have some serious doubts, considering he's already pretty successful. Is it because he had a story to tell, and wanted to tell it? If so…why would he consider critics to be the enemy? Wouldn't it be preferable to listen to them and strive for the best version of that story you can tell? Is it because he wanted to send a message about LGBT kids (Sam and Joey, sort of Topher), kids from toxic family environments (Mo and Joey), kids raised by single parents (all but Joey)? Then, once again, why not listen to people telling you your message might not really convey as well as you thought it would?

Of course, this is all hypothetical, and reviews aren't really meant for the author anyway. I don't expect Chris Colfer to read my review of his book, nor do I really want to, because I'm writing for potential readers, not for him. I'm talking about the attitude to dismiss critics and present a dichotomy of quality entertainment (here symbolized as "Shakespeare") versus enjoyable entertainment (i.e. Wiz Kids or the book itself). Not just because it doesn't apply to me personally (to paraphrase Lindsay Ellis on her Top Ten Guilty Pleasures video—which is apparently off Youtube at the moment—"no, I don't want to turn off my brain, I'm using it"), but also because it doesn't really seem to apply…in general.

Again, take Shakespeare. Am I supposed to just agree that it's adapted so much because people hate it? Every teenager in love sees themselves as Romeo and Juliet because that play is just so inaccessible and stuffy and high-brow? Yeah, right. (And that's without getting into a debate on whether Romeo and Juliet is a romance, a cautionary tale, or a mix of the two; it's still a pretty well-made play regardless of how you read it)

In fact, it's pretty easy to find things that are good and extremely popular, because it tends to be what survives the test of time (like, you know, Shakespeare). It's not universal, and it doesn't mean you personally have to like any of it. I hate Emile Zola's books and most of the music made before I was born, and for all I've defended him, I'm not a super fan of Shakespeare. But it doesn't mean I can't see the quality in all those things, or the fact that they had some pretty wide appeal, both then and now.

So that dichotomy is bullshit. What about the idea that critics themselves are wrong? You know, the idea that critics are a tool of the status quo rather than a measure of quality. Recently, you see that a lot whenever people criticize anything enjoyed by teenage girls (and not unreasonably so). Except…then you have to consider your definition of a critic. After all, to quote an overused phrase, everyone's a critic. All it takes is having thoughts about a thing. And in the Internet age, once can share those thoughts pretty easily, regardless of how much institutional power they hold. There's a reason this is a blog, is what I'm saying.

Point is: saying any criticism is automatically wrong by virtue of being criticism (so long as you have mass appeal) is a pretty weak counter-argument. And it feeds into a culture where critical thinking itself isn't encouraged, because you don't want to be one of those critics who just can't have fun and enjoy things, do you?

Look, I'm not mad at Twitter user gobbledguck for their reply. I'm not going to say I don't care since…you know…this post exists…but I'm not mad about it. It's symptomatic of a larger, self-perpetuating problem. Which this book is part of, by virtue of this quote, and, in a larger sense, all of Cash Carter's "how dare people criticize what I, a highly public figure with a huge influence on impressionable minds, do while in the public eye" speeches. Which Chris Colfer is a part of too, by virtue of writing this book as a highly public figure with a huge influence on impressionable mind, and publishing it for consumption.

So no, I'm not mad at that Twitter user, but I am mad at this book for participating into a culture that makes that tweet a possibility, and allows this user to go on without questioning their own biases.

I feel like there's probably a better rant about anti-intellectualism and the rejection of all critics in me. Hell, I feel like there's a better rant about it in relationship with this book. But, well, this is a hot take on a tweet. Maybe I'll even regret it in a few days. I've had a streak of regretting some of my recent posts and all.

But what I'm pretty sure I won't regret is the main point, the tl;dr as we are used to saying here on the Internet: "No, it wasn't Shakespeare, but on the bright side, it wasn't Shakespeare" is more or less equivalent to admitting you have no interest in writing (or reading) a good story, and honestly, I feel kind of sad for you and your admitted creative bankruptcy.

Now I'll get off my high horse before someone points out to me that that Twitter account has all of four tweets, and the other three are dedicated to shipping Chris Colfer with his co-star, and I'm probably being played by a troll and/or falling on deaf ears with this one. Reviews aren't meant for the author anyway, and I suppose this is no exception.

Okay, that should be enough self-deprecating humor that this post doesn't come across as too insufferable. Now I'll go back to bitching about a popular TV show or something.

In defense of fanfiction

I’ve been thinking about fanfiction lately, (really I’ve been thinking that I should really be taking some of this time to write more, but that’s another post) AO3 just had their yearly fundraiser so of course the old discourse over the site and its history was dragged up again and then Sarah had brought it up this morning and well, I have a lot of strong feelings on the subject. Let’s start with a little personal background: I have been reading and writing fanfic since the late 90’s. It started out as something silly my best friend introduced me to and we would sit in her mother’s computer room and giggle over ‘speculative fan fictions’ and participate on months-long roleplay scenarios on chat boards and take turns passing notebooks full of handwritten stories back and forth which were every bit as terrible as you’d think two 14-year-old girls could come up with. Unfortunately, we were in the Vampire Chronicles fandom so we had a front-row seat for the Anne Rice and her lawyer's debacle that will from here on out be referred to as “The Dark Times”. We watched our friends’ work get pulled, our RP sites close down, we feared that we’d get a cease and desist letter, we hid our notebooks and dreamed up our stories exclusively verbally.  I was deeply ashamed of my secret love of fanfic for years. I kept writing, but I kept it secret, I kept reading it but would never admit to it. Fanfiction was something shameful, taboo, some terrible sin akin to watching porn, and not the good socially acceptable kind of porn. But time moved on and fandom moved on and fanfiction started to be more acceptable. I joined Fanfiction.net, I wrote some stuff on Livejournal (although I still kept it set to private). I read A LOT of fanfiction, jumping fandoms, and leaving reviews. People I admired came out as liking and writing fanfiction. Of course, then the purges hit. Strikethrough and the like. I’m not going to get into that here, because that’s a rant all its own. Anyway, those were also some dark days as fandom searched for somewhere to land. I stumbled over Archive of our own a few years ago and I aggressively support them whenever I can because they fight for the fandom. Now I speak out in defense of fanfiction whenever possible. I’ve attended panels at conventions about fanfiction, I support and share posts about it from my favorite authors, I let everyone know that I’m proud of my fanfic (although I still don’t post it, that’s because I tend not to finish things and I don't’ want to get someone excited for something I know I’m going to abandon in a month, not because I’m ashamed.). So let’s talk over some points because Sarah brought up a good point today. Why is fanfiction such a shameful thing in the fandom community, and in the writing community? One of the people on my friends list who I admire and is a professional, published author once rolled their eyes and scoffed when I said that I wanted to go to the fanfiction panel at a convention. Yet, no other facet of fandom is treated this way. I brought this up on Sarah’s post and I’m going to reiterate it here. Fan artists are not scoffed at, people flock to their tables in artist’s alley. Fan-made comics and doujinshi have led to careers writing and drawing comics and scripts for the same series their fanwork was based on. No professional costumer or prop maker sneers at cosplayers, in fact, there are now professional cosplayers. Fans wait in line for hours to watch masquerade skits at conventions. Fan-dubs like Dragonball Z Abridged and Nescaflowne are hugely popular and have led to professional voice acting gigs and production studios. But if an author dares to mention that they got their start in fanfiction? The horror, the outrage, the hate mail. Yet so much of our media could arguably be called fanfiction. Dante’s Inferno? John Milton’s Paradise Lost? The Aeneid? Classics? Yes. Fanfiction? Also yes. Joyce’s Ulysses is just an AU of the Odyssey. Anything written about or based on myths? Anything involving King Arthur? Sherlock Holmes? Shakespear...Oh you can cry adaptation all you want. Let’s face it if it’s written by some old white guy it’s literature and a classic and an innovative reimagining but really it’s just fanfic and it’s everywhere. West Side Story is a fanfic of a fanfic since Shakespeare based Romeo and Juliet off a poem by a similar name. My Fair Lady? Pygmalion AU. Hamilton? Real Person Song Fic! 50 Shades series, Mortal Instruments, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Jean Rhys' Wide Sargasso Sea, hell there are literally hundreds of published Jane Austen fanfictions. John Gardner’s Grendel is a retelling of Beowolf. The Wiz, Wicked and the rest of Gregory Maguire’s books? The Wizard of Oz doesn’t enter public domain until 2035. The Magnificent Seven? Kurosawa called and he wants his seven samurai back, he’d also like to reclaim Yojimbo from A Fist Full of Dollars. Speaking of tv, how about Black Sails? It’s a fanfiction prequel to Treasure Island. Any comic book not written by the original creator. Any book series based on Star Wars, Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, World of Warcraft, etc. I could go on all day. So why is it, when so much of our popular culture consists of what basically boils down to fanfiction, that fanfiction is seen as a shameful indulgence, as “cheating”, as trash?Part of it boils down to sex. Read any article that brings up fanfiction and there will invariably be a line where the author distances themself by saying something along the lines of they don’t personally read it, or how slash fic isn’t their thing but to each their own. (Both quotes from some of the sites I pulled the above list from) A lot of people seem to think that fanfiction is just porn, and while yes there is some fanfiction that is porn and some of it is very good, the same can be said for regular fiction as well. People don’t blush and giggle over Lord of the Rings, yet when I say that I’ve read fanfic that’s longer than Tolkien’s trilogy I may as well be talking about how I read Aragorn/Boromir slash fic regardless of what the actual subject matter was.  Yes, there’s sex in fanfiction. A lot of it is gay sex. You can read Lolita in school but Harry Potter fanfic? Gasp, think of the children! Even if that fanfic happens to be about what if Petunia loved Harry like a son instead of pushing him away and neglecting him. There is some really fantastic fan fiction out there. Some of it has sex, some of it doesn't. Some of it deals with queer characters and experiences, some of it doesn’t. There’s nothing inherently wrong with erotica and it’s an entirely separate issue. Not every fanfiction is a 50 Shades-eque erotic rewrite of Twilight, and even if they were, so what?  A lot of fanfiction has to do with wish fulfillment. You want to know what happens next, or what would happen if this had happened instead, or if there was this character. You want to see someone like you in your favorite fandom. I had wanted to adventure with Bilbo when I was a kid. I wanted to go on adventures and fight and ride dinosaurs. These desires don’t go away just because we grow up. I got into roleplay and larp and gaming because I still enjoy make-believe. I write for a lot of the same reasons. Everyone wants to be the main character. Fanfiction gives you that chance. You can write yourself into a story, you can write someone that’s like you, you can write someone that’s nothing like you but what you want to be. So, let’s discuss our old friend Mary Sue. She gets trotted out as an example every time someone brings up fanfiction (or any uppity female character ever). Mary Sue was born in the 60’s. She is an actual character from a Star Trek Original Series fanfiction. Yes, fanfiction existed in the 60’s. Mary Sue was the brightest and prettiest girl to come out of Starfleet, she managed to be in all the right places at the right times to save the ship and capture the heart of Spock. Self insert fics and Mary Sues are at the heart of why we should be terribly ashamed of our fanfiction habit. Except, what was Luke Skywalker if not George Lucas’ self insert Marty Stu? There are countless male characters that are as bad or worse than your typical Mary sue and they are never called out for it. Seanan brought this up in a post once about her character October Daye, her editor had said that the character was too competent, too cool, and that it was unrealistic and she should tone it down. She had him replace the character’s name with “Harry Dresden” and reread the story and suddenly it was fine. There are a great many articles and essays about our friend Mary Sue and I implore you to read some of them. She is not the enemy we make her out to be. Fanfiction, on the rare occasion that it is accepted, is seen as some sort of training wheels, or baby’s first writing. It’s amateurish, it’s juvenile, it’s just not very good. If we are not ashamed of it, then it’s expected that we are only using it as a starting point to hone our writing and move on to professional published works. It’s either that or something terribly self-indulgent that should be kept to ourselves. Some fanfic writers do go on to become “real” writers. Seanan McGuire has always been very open about how her agent first approached her after reading some of her Buffy/Faith fanfiction. Some “real” writers also write fanfiction. Neil Gaiman won a Hugo for his Chronicles of Narnia Fanfic. Ursula Vernon and Mercedes Lackey write fanfiction in their spare time. Some fanfiction writers never become published authors, not everyone wants to. Some are happy to have a dozen 150k fics about their favorite fandom, or maybe just one 500k epic, some, myself included, may only have one short fic posted somewhere. There is nothing that says that you have to use your hobby to turn a profit. (By the way, for reference, War and Peace is 561,304 words, Dune is 187,240 words, you cannot make the argument that fanfic writers don’t put time into their craft when they have more words than Tolstoy under their belt.)Some of the ‘training wheels’ analogy is true. Fanfic is a terrific gateway to writing. It teaches pacing, plot, character development, how to take criticism. If I ever do write something professionally I will not be nearly as afraid of the red pen as I am of bad reviews. Anonymous readers are the most ruthless critics. May the literary gods preserve you from ever having your fanfic read aloud as an example of how terrible and ‘cringy’ fanfiction can be. There is a lot of fanfiction out there that is written by teenage girls, and it reads like it was written by a teenage girl, but the only way to get better at something is to practice. Fanfiction allows budding writers to do that. There are no rules, no one standing at the gates to bar entry, and entire communities of people willing to give advice and commentary. Sometimes it’s less helpful than harmful, but there is something about posting a new fic and waiting for that first ‘like’ or ‘kudos’ or a review. There’s something to be said for instant gratification. I have read a lot of really terrible fanfic. I have slogged through stuff that would make Mary Sue herself cringe. I have read about the ½ vampire, ½ werewolf, ½ fairy long lost princess. I have read grammar that would make your eyes bleed. Not all of it has been confined to fan works. I have read fanwork that has had me convulsing with silent laughter to the point that I wondered if I would die. Dialog that was ten times better than anything I had read in a professional novel. Fanfiction should not be judged by its worst offenders. We don’t hold Dune to the same standard as Twilight. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is not terrible and cringy because 50 Shades of Grey overuses the phrase “Oh my.” There is some absolutely terrible fanfic out there and there is some pretty terrible published fic as well, but we don’t hold that against most novelists, so why do we hold it against fanfiction writers?I guess that brings us to the elephant in the fandom. Sexism. Fanfiction has historically been something written by and for young women and there is nothing more shameful than something liked by a young woman. Boybands? The color pink? Horse Girl books and Sparkly Vampires? Society hates them. We mock them. It is not acceptable to enjoy them. Sound familiar? How many times is something considered cool until a woman decides that she likes it? We as a society hate women and hate the things they enjoy and we hate teenage girls the most. Think of how much people hated selfies and duckface and instagram. How much hate was directed at Britney Spears, One Direction, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber? Whether it has a basis in something or not, we hate them, we make jokes, we share the memes. We write them off as having no substance, as being stupid, not worth our time. Belittling of teenage girls for their interests and fandoms isn't a new phenomenon. Remember Mary Sue? Not only that, but a lot of fanfiction is gay. Women and gays are still the punchline to a lot of jokes and we can’t ignore that that plays a big part in people’s hatred of fanfiction, even if it’s not on purpose. Fanfiction has always been a bastion for people that couldn’t find stories about them in popular fiction. A lot of mainstream main characters are straight guys. A lot of fanfiction main characters are young women or gay men. Now, I admit that I’m oversimplifying this, and especially in recent years as it is becoming safer for people to come out as other genders and queer and as having mental illness or not being neurotypical, you are seeing more of that reflected in the fanfiction community. I don’t want anyone to think that I am purposefully leaving anyone out of this. The fanfiction community has not always been so great at being inclusive of people of color or transgender, it’s getting better, but I’m not going to stand here and pretend we’ve always been perfect. In the last several years I’ve seen a lot more inclusion. As I said, fanfiction has always been a home to the “Other”, as that expands to include more individuals so too does the community. Fanfics provide us with a place to work through issues and present perspectives that we don’t get to see anywhere else, without having to create an entire world from scratch. It’s accessible to everyone. I’ve spent the better part of an afternoon researching and writing this. I hope that I was at least partially coherent and I got you to at least take a look at why you feel the way you feel about fanfiction. I’m not sure if I exactly got across the points I was trying for, there’s a lot more eloquent, well thought out arguments out there from more knowledgeable people. Check out Seanan McGuire, she’s got a lot to say on the subject.