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adler-obsessed · 3 years

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Hi! I'm new in the fandom and wanted to ask why everyone seems to be hating Derek Landy? Yes the books are pretty brutal and he's low-key sadistic with the characters, but aren't most book authors? I just finished book 6 and I'm really enjoying them so far. I'm just curious and don't wanna offend anyone.

oh boy buckle up - I just want to first of all say welcome to the fandom!!! Although it may seem a bit negative sometimes, it’s mainly because we love the series and characters so much!

There’s a lot of people who know more about + have details on Landy’s problematic statements/actions so guys/fandom if you could add that onto this post, I’d appreciate it.

A short summary:

problematic representation in books

the disaster of Phase 2

attacking fans (bonus: his gf attacking fans)

problematic relationships with young fans

But I’ve been meaning to do an analysis of why Landy’s representation of queer people and the LGBTQ+ Community has been problematic for a while and I have examples so buckle up everyone:

So, as a brief introduction, there’s several reasons why people aren’t the biggest fan of Landy - one you won’t be aware of for awhile is Phase 2, which starts after Book 9

Phase 2, I think I can say confidently, has not been as well received as Phase 1. Lots of the characters we liked in Phase 1 don’t appear or have lost all their character development from Phase 1. There are so many side plots that are very confusing and most people aren’t particularly interested in them so large parts of each book are quite boring for most of the fandom.

But onto my main argument (edit: in a reblog below, Faceless has linked many of the examples I discuss if you are interested)

Landy has had quite a bumpy ride when it comes to representation: in the Demon Road series (outside of SP) there was a very problematic portrayal of a wlw relationship. He claimed that everyone is eventually bisexual, and then there is a wider issue of representation in the actual Skulduggery books.

Firstly, those characters that are in the LGBTQ+ community tend to have that aspect of their life continuously pointed out/or mentioned (like Landy is trying to show how ‘diverse’ he is) but then have very little character development/or mention of anything other than that.

There is a supposedly major wlw ship in Phase 2, but it is so underdeveloped it feels more like a main character and her cheerleader. In the last book we finally got some development only for them to then break up (although I somewhat liked the realistic reasons behind it, it did disappoint me)

Linking from this, there is a general difference in how Landy treats non-canon queer ships versus straight ones

When asked about the possibility of a non-canon straight ship, he said he didn’t like to dismiss the fan’s ships. In comparison when a fan asked about mlm ship, he immediately said no to it (keep in mind there was no dubious relationship between these two in the books, they are super close so it made no sense for him to completely refuse it)

Landy also likes to point out his queer characters like China and Tanith, who are both canonly bisexual/pansexual (he confirmed to a fan that China and Eliza were a thing) and yet, whenever the two are romantically involved with someone, it’s a man.

Now, before I get people attacking me saying they are still bisexual even though they’re in straight passing relationships, I AM bisexual, I hate it when people invalidate my sexuality just because I am in a relationship w a guy or girl.

But eVERYTIME, these two end up with a guy, and the only time Landy has confirmed they aren��t straight are either in blink and you’ll miss it moments or outside of the books (sort of like Rowling claiming characters were gay on Twitter, and yet these characters were never seen expressing these identities in the books or in later media)

So why is this representation problematic? Because writers like Landy seem to think they’ve actually done a good job - stating once that a character identifies/or has a certain sexual orientation, and then never elaborating on it again, as if that somehow wins him brownie points.

I’m not going to talk to much about Never - for context this is a gender fluid character in Phase Two - because I myself am not gender fluid, so I would not want to speak for that side of the community incorrectly. In my personal opinion, having several genderfluid friends, Never’s characterisation is bloody weird.

For context, in the books, Landy changes the pronouns that Never uses and others use to address him/her practically every sentence. At times it feels less like a portrayal of a genderfluid character, and more like a mockery (one of my aforementioned genderfluid friends stopped reading the series at this point because they found it too close to the mocking insults their grandparents would use e.g. changing pronouns every sentence as if making out that their gender identity was some absurd thing)

Again, rest of the fandom feel free to interject in here, there are definitely people more qualified to speak on this than me.

I also want to talk a little bit about the problematic way Derek handles female members of the LGBTQ+ community in comparison to the male ones. I’ve mentioned above a bit of the problems with China/Tanith but I want to go a bit further into the issue with the male ones: namely, there are barely any.

While the three main female characters are all canonly bisexual, none of the major male ones are (if I’m wrong, please correct me!) and the only one who could possibly be considered major is Anton Shudder and his boyfriend who are confirmed to have been in a relationship, oh wait, when they are both dead. Apart from that, there is not one major male member of the LGBTQ+ community in these books that Landy claims are so diverse.

I think it is also slightly worrying that so many of Landy’s female characters are bisexual, characters who Landy also constantly describes as pretty/gorgeous/attractive etc. because it just feels like that typical thing of men fetishising wlw women (particularly bisexual women) hence why I also think the fact that two of these women never have a relationship with another wlw in the actual books is very problematic, as these sexual orientations feel more for show than actual canon most of the time.

There is a very big problem with the way Landy goes about queer representation in his books, and the worse part? He thinks he’s doing great.

#skulduggery pleasant #Derek Landy critical #apologies for the mammoth essay but I had feelings

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amysgiantbees · 5 years

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Avengers: Endgame Spoilers

Much like Avengers Infinity War, my feelings on this film can most succinctly be put that overall I found it average to infuriating but there were some truly wonderful parts in between that I’ll always enjoy. I’ll come to this later but here are some notes on my feelings on Avengers Endgame...

THE GOOD

Wanda and Captain Marvel (but I still needed more of them)

Wanda and Captain Marvel fighting Thanos

Steve wielding Mjölnir

Valkyrie on a pegasus

King Valkyrie

Carol’s haircut

Rhodney and Nebula bonding!

Nebula and Tony playing paper football!

Pepper fighting in an iron suit

Sam is Captain America! (He better be Cap in the films, not just this new show, I know the MCU has a history of keeping the TV shows and films separate but please not in this case!)

THE BAD

Bruce dabs. I just can’t.

Clint’s hair and tattoos

Thanos’ ecofascism being justified by the narrative in certain ways like with Cap’s look on the bright side about the environment line.

The time travel plotholes. I do not understand time travel at all in this, feel free to explain if you do. Also, Thanos not having knowledge of anyone due to time travel really took a lot of impact out of the climax for me. My biggest issue with the time travel logic in this though is how can Nebula kill her past self?

The limited time given to emotional character arcs is a real issue for me. For a movie that goes on for so long, I felt like more attention would be given to this and less to action. Like having characters that had rivalries with members of Thano’s Children never confronting against them again.

Thor never mentions Loki. He never grieves him. He was meant to actually legitimately be dead in this one so it would have been nice if not only there was more emotion and time spent on the scene with his mother but if he said goodbye to Loki during it too. Or told Freya to check in on Loki for him, make sure to tell him he loves him form him. I know she is destined to die but if they’d come earlier in the day and let there be time to do all of this it would have been more emotionally satisfying I think at least.

I HATE fatsuits. The fat jokes and the jokes at the expense of Thor’s panic attacks and mental health are REVOLTING. It’s just sad and frustrating that they decided to throw out all of Thor’s character development from Ragnorok for a few cheap laughs. His fat suit doesn’t even look real. It doesn’t match his neck and face and he doesn’t move right. Shockingly enough you move easier when it’s your own skin. This article and the author sum up my thoughts on all of this really well: https://medium.com/@kivabay/the-centr-of-controversy-cba6f23c692e. Also, Bay has a really great quote unrelated to Thor but also sums up another issue I have with the film and I just want to highlight it here, “ I also couldn’t help but view the movie with the knowledge we pick up on the internet about who is leaving the MCU, making the character deaths feel melodramatically goofy and like executive-level calculations.“

Also, somewhat silly critique but doesn’t Thor need special Asgardian beer to get drunk not “mortal” beer in a can. Damn, Thor was just poorly thought through. And I could almost find him fighting against Thanos with zero weight loss aspiring if the whole idea of Chris Hemsworth portraying him and every other way he was handled wasn’t disgustingly terrible. Fat Thor as an idea is amazing. I’d love to see him portrayed as such in the comics as long as he’s treated with respect.

They can’t just have the film be cathartically separate and contained they have to hint at more film’s with the “Where’s Gamora” mystery ready to go and Thor joining the Guardians. They have been advertising Homecoming for months and have the next few years of movies already planned, people aren’t under any illusions that there won’t be sequels. Just let it be self-contained. Especially since it’s already so long.

Just personal taste thing here but the “Avengers Assemble” bit was too cheesy and the ruin of the Avengers mansion was a boring background for the battle.

Dr. Strange was wasted stopping that tsunami. Did they need that? It was such a boring use for him in the battle. This battle had so many heroes but it felt like it really used their powers significantly less creatively together than any other battle previously.

Why weren't Fury, Carol and Maria all standing together at Tony’s funeral with their arms around each other like everyone else? It was really strange and took some of the emotion out of the scene, they’re close to each other. It could have been such a beautiful moment and tied the whole Captain Marvel “Where’s Fury?” scene together if they had them beside each other with her smiling sadly at him or leaning against him. They’re friends and it would be nice to see Fury further fleshed out and more three dimensional.

I don’t mind that Loki is dead but it does make me retroactively annoyed that “You... will never be... a god” was seriously his last line. He had nothing nice to say to his brother before he dies? So he really did die trying to use a knife on someone who can take on the Hulk. I hope that at least in his show that’s coming soon he’s genderqueer and given the opportunity to properly show off his magic. I feel like his magic has never been displayed properly or used in particularly interesting ways so far.

I would have rewritten the scene where Banner and Rocket look for Thor. Banner, Thor and Valkyrie’s interactions are stale and strange. It would have been better (so as not to erase all of his character development) if he was still dealing with his PTSD or the loss of his people poorly but was at least trying to help the Asgardians. But then show Valkyrie having to help him and being the clearly stronger leader due to being able to deal with this grief better after having experience working through grief from losing her Valkyries. She could also be helping him with his alcoholism instead of judging him since she has been there! It would have shown her mentor abilities and kingly traits. You could still have him join the Guardians in the end but now he’s just less negligent. Then he isn’t passing a burden for convenience but because he recognizes Valkyrie was there for his people when he couldn’t be and is the better, more loved leader. Instead of what should be a great moment for Valkyrie that she’s shown as earnt and is deserving of it just seems like Thor was like “Well it turns out ruling was too hard for me I’m going to f*ck off to space now look after them for me.” Still, love that she gets to be king.

Did I mishear her name or is Clint’s daughter not called Kate? Why aren’t we getting Kate Bishop? I know she isn’t Clint’s daughter in the comics but they’ve changed people’s backstories before and after seeing Clint training with a young girl in the trailer I was just really excited for her. I love her character in the comics, but maybe she has a name change here?

Also, why does Clint go overseas to fight people? I’m sure there are more than enough bad people in America for him to fight for YEARS. There are Neo-Nazis for F*CKS SAKE. It just seems racist to imply he’d have to look in places predominantly occupied by POC to find bad people. Also, that Sword scene was strange. It felt really unnatural and fake like it belonged in a completely different movie.

Also, little nitpick but I just found it to be a weird moment when that kid Ant-Man talks to didn’t say “What do you mean?” or “How do you not know?” I get not wanting to talk about the snap but how could he not be mildly curious or confused as to how someone seems to be ignorant to the biggest tragedy in world history.

Also, I really would have loved if the final battle had more consequences. More deaths and injuries. I think it would have been more realistic and added more to it. I especially really would have loved it if they had shown Clint getting injured in such a way that his hearing was permanently damaged. It would be nice to finally have him have that important comic book trait.

Also, that scene where Joe Russo, a straight man, plays a gay man is bullshit. Let us have gay superheroes. That is such a pathetic attempt at representation. Make Loki Genderfluid, make Carol a wLw, Give Okoye and Valkyrie a girlfriend or acknowledge they’re wLw.

Furthermore, I understand that the shot of all the women at the final battle was probably foreshadowing A-Team but I don’t think the creators realised that, One: it makes it look like they’re trying to hide that they killed the only original female member of the Avengers while giving all the men satisfying endings. Two: that there are A LOT fewer women than men but also that there’s enough of them that more of them really should have been featured before then and had more time spent on them. Just so many women yet so few films focussed on them. Furthermore, for those people who don’t know about A-Team it also just feels like a moment of pandering.

Look, Black Widow has never been one of my favorite characters but she deserved better. As soon as she was proclaimed infertile in Age of Ultron it was a death sentence because what use is a woman who can’t reproduce. She didn’t even get a funeral. Clint should have died. The snap forced Natasha to fully commit to her found family and lead the Avengers for years. The snap sent Clint into a debatably racist murder rampage. Natasha did something good after the snap it gave her more purpose. Clint’s purpose was to bring his family back and he could still do that by sacrificing himself. It’s honestly far more satisfying to see Natasha get her happy ending than Clint because Clint’s ending is just far too similar to his story in Age of Ultron. It is just hilariously underwhelming when everyone else has an emotional ending just to have Clint’s be a regurgitated version of him retiring with his family in Ultron. Also, Natasha dying for guilt over some vague bad that’s she’s done in her past that we know nothing about is so unsatisfying. This video I feel also sums up a lot of my feelings on this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A81p1N2gnNY&t=649s. Also from a monetary standpoint, not that Disney needs more money, but there’s way more demand for Black Widow films than Hawkeye. Just why Hawkeye, no one gives a sh*t.

More so I’m not against Tony using the gauntlet but I think it got in the way of Nebula having a fully satisfying conclusion to her arc. At least one woman should have had a satisfying, fully realised arc. It would have been great if Nebula got to finally kill Thanos but honestly, I wouldn’t be as mad at it if she hadn’t got wrongfully blamed for doing it by Thanos or had her arc conclude in an otherwise satisfying way. She gets abused further by Thanos for something she never did and never gets an opportunity to even just face him and confront him about ANYTHING.

Also, Vision is barely mentioned in the film. Which wouldn’t be so frustrating if he wasn’t the reason why an ENTIRE ARMY of predominantly black people was sacrificed in Infinity War. They had to save him because they all apparently cared so much about him but can’t remember to mention him more than once afterward.

I really hate that they were so scared of spoilers that they didn’t let all of the actors read their scripts ahead of time and cut out massive chunks of their scripts and didn’t tell them who they were playing against. I would rather spoilers than poor acting that ruins the timelessness of a film. This is meant to be epic!

#avengers spoilers #avengers #avengers endgame #my analysis #myanalysis #anti endgame #endgame #marvel #marvel endgame #endgame spoilers

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pseudoneiiric · 3 years

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meta post: lili and her gender

let me go on the record to say that i fucking love lilian eyler with my whole heart, like, i typed all this out and im so fucking emotional about her! in the past, i've written things about hello charlotte and how the lgbt representation is... lacking, let's call it, and i've also made a few headcanon posts here and there about lilian's transition and her relationship with gender. so i thought, you know, let's actually write a whole ass thing about it. so here it is.

content warnings: gender dysphoria, suicide attempts, homophobia/transphobia in the original source material

PART 1: ETHERANE'S BAD TAKES so... etherane did not handle lgbt stuff well, like, in the slightest. lili is canonically genderfluid, as seen in one of those little profile things that etherane drew that doesn't actually show up in any of the games. but her genderfluid identity isn't handled well at all in the actual source material. actually, in general, hello charlotte is pretty transphobic. to cite one example, there’s this journal entry in hello charlotte 3 talking about “defective” charlotte vessels, and one of the things that can make a charlotte vessel “defective” is for them to be born amab or intersex. this already has some really bad vibes, but then we remember also that one of the big functions of charlottes is apparently for them to be sexualized (yikes!!!!!) and so we also get this weird kind of like, “trans people aren’t hot” kind of take?

but anyway. when it comes to lilian specifically, she never actually states in canon that she’s genderfluid or otherwise trans, not even in the spinoff visual novel, which, by the way, would have been the perfect place to address her gender identity, and she consistently uses he/him pronouns. we don’t actually get to see any of her thought processes about her gender at all — like at this point, i can’t even say it’s a non-issue because that would imply that they even mentioned her gender in canon. the only time we can potentially extrapolate from canon that lili might not be cis is when anri mentions that charlotte is lili’s self-insert oc. that’s kind of heavy-handed with the whole “charlotte being the female name for charles”, but that’s another matter. the point is, with the lack of any canon basis that lilian’s even vaguely questioned her gender, the reveal that she’s actually genderfluid with like, two pieces of artwork that are detached from the actual game feels very pxrfxrmxtxvxly xnclxsxvx (performatively inclusive) especially considering how.... etherane talked about lilian’s gender in particular within the actual canon material.

after all, the story behind lilian is effectively that, after she was born, her mother was forced to abort her second child, a daughter that she would name scarlett. doing so plunged her into a really deep depression that eventually took on delusional qualities. so ever since lilian was about three years old, her mother has been referring to her exclusively as scarlett, asking her to ‘ be a good girl ’ and similarly raising her as a girl. we can see here that etherane seems to have implied that genderfluidity is something that happens because other people make it so, and isn’t an identity and lived experience. (bad take!) although, albeit unintentionally, i think etherane did lay some groundwork to talk about lilian’s relationship with her gender, specifically with regards to her projection onto her oc, charlotte. in high school, when she’s more active on the internet, we see that she’s going by charlotte and using she/her pronouns. anri, her irl friend, is pretty openly critical of that, but she sort of brushes off anri’s complaints and continues to present as feminine online. now, there’s this fanfic writer who goes by the pseudonym “c”, and lilian very quickly takes an interest in him. the way she talks to c, who doesn’t know her irl, compared anri, who does, is just like flat-out like they’re completely different people.

compare, her with c:

to her with anri:

i also wanted to mention that lili does occasionally act more “femininely” with anri, but it’s never to the extent that she does with c, and in general, affectionate banter is sort of... outright ridiculed in their friendship both ways. see this one exchange:

anri: >:) always up for some roasting lili: right? <3 <3 anri: now you’re the one being gross

unrelated but it fucking kills me that anri was like “ily <3” and lili went “gross” so she went “kys” and lili deadass goes “that’s better” like that’s what anri is referencing when she says “now you’re the one being gross” and im like... please just be healthy friends who don’t wish death on each other???

it’s also worth noting that c doesn’t know that she’s not “actually” a girl, and literally when they meet, she goes like, “it’s you who should be disappointed in me. charlotte turned out to be charles, whoops! i bet you were hoping that i’d be a cute girl.” and that’s... really depressing, like, she ended up really leaning into that cutesy side of her when she was talking to c and now she feels the need to be a lot more... sarcastic and bitter, like how she is with anri, because now c “knows the truth about her”, that she’s “actually been a guy all along”.

in any case, i think the intent that etherane was going for with this was kind of like... “lilian’s actually a repressed cis gay man!” which is . not great. it gives off this really gross vibes where it’s implied that since lili was raised as a girl and is into men, she got “confused” and started going by she/her online because she couldn’t come to terms with her sexuality or whatever. and that’s just such a bad take!!!

not to mention that a really important part of lili’s backstory is... her germaphobia. she has persistent delusions accompanied by visual hallucinations where she sees people as “parasites”, which visually manifests as them rotting or decomposing. because of that, she wears gloves all the time and is repulsed by physical touch. but when she meets c (whose real name is vincent) in person, she pretty much instantly goes for skin-to-skin contact with him, where she takes off her glove and holds his hand. and like, sure, that’s sweet, but that’s really not how mental illness... works. in the slightest. she doesn’t react at all when his hand touches hers, despite the fact that she has literally had panic attacks in canon from touching things without her gloves. and it gives off this implication that mental illness can be cured with romance somehow, and that’s a really bad take!

this feeds into fandom understanding that like, well, if lilian sees vincent as pure and allows him to touch her, then Obviously she’d let him kiss her, they could probably have sex, etc. and like... she’s canonically asexual though! and that brings us to the other implication, that asexuality is somehow... caused by something. like, there’s nothing in canon to state that lilian experiences sexual attraction (or even really romantic attraction, like i know etherane went off in heaven’s gate and did a lot of ship tease, but she never really outright says she’s crushing on anyone), but judging from the way etherane handled lilian’s gender identity, i have a sneaking suspicion that she established lilian’s asexuality with her mental illnesses specifically in mind. lilian’s autistic, germaphobic, has severe ocd, and she’s been sexually assaulted in the past. therefore, she must be asexual! that’s the sort of vibes i get from the game, and im not here for it. similarly to how her genderfluidity was handled, she makes no actual statement in canon that she doesn’t experience sexual attraction. the closest she’s ever come to this is when she says to anri in heaven’s gate that she is just straight up not interested in kissing (to which anri is like, “well what if it were vincent owo??” which. ugh. anyway). it just seems really strange to me to design a character with severe mental health issues with regards to physical touch and then just sort of treat it as a given that she’s asexual. it’s another example of etherane implying that lgbt identities are results of traumatic experiences or symptoms of mental illness and not an identity or lived experience. you can be sex-repulsed and not be asexual, and while i understand that many people do identify as ace due to trauma and other such things, it still feels like really bad rep when taken with the way lilian’s genderfluidity was portrayed.

PART 2: HOW “CHARLES” IS DIFFERENT FROM “LILIAN”

throughout hello charlotte, lilian identifies herself as a passive observer, someone who doesn’t directly interfere in events. this applies mostly to her existence in false realm, where she’s like... a god, and doesn’t want to interfere in the balance of the world. but i believe she also has always seen herself as an observer. in her very first scene, the one where she and anri are watching someone get bullied, she’s the one who tells anri that there’s no point in getting help. because her role is just to observe. to take pictures for anri, to be a good girl, to say yes to everything and to never express her opinions, feelings, thoughts.

and honestly, i think the main reason for that is that she’s dysphoric. whenever she talks about herself, she’s really self-deprecating, especially compared to when she talks about charlotte. i feel like the main reason why lilian detaches herself from the world and refuses to really perceive herself is because she’s fundamentally disgusted with her gender presentation. and like, we can see in the two times that she’s presented femininely (with c and in that one comic) that lili is just so much happier and more bubbly when she’s presenting as feminine. you can literally see her stop dissociating and becoming more present in the moment because she’s just. so much more comfortable in her skin. compare:

these pictures with this one:

it’s funny i was going to say that there is a picture where she’s presenting as masculine and actually smiles like a person, but guess what! she’s texting c! so she’s actually performing femininity!

but the point is, like... when she’s presenting as masculine, especially in the canon pictures rather than etherane’s art, she just doesn’t look... happy. and then we compare that to how much more present she seems when she’s presenting as feminine, and how much more comfortable she seems in being, like, happy! and cute! but there is a downside to this. and that is...

PART 3: DIFFICULTIES IN LILI’S TRANSITION

in my sort of... “main verse” for lili, i have it so that her suicide attempt failed and that she was somehow... saved from drowning. mother passes away and she starts to... soul search a little bit and find a reason to live, and somewhere along the line she starts to transition socially. that means she starts transitioning at a pretty... extremely vulnerable point in her life. in the year between 18-19 years old, she’d be a wreck. she’s growing her hair out, but she feels insecure about it. she starts to wear skirts, but only at home. she buys makeup and never wears it. it’s a long process for her, because it’s one thing to go by she/her online or to claim she’s just a gender-confused gay boy and a completely different thing to come out as a trans woman and to actually see herself as a woman and not some kind of imposter. considering that she was raised as a girl, she would have a large amount of guilt over transitioning, feeling like she’s going to be seen as confused, or that her gender identity is a direct result of her childhood trauma. but she’s not just worried that others will see her that way: she’s worried that she’s going to see herself that way.

and for a long time, she probably does see herself that way. for a long time, scarlett would probably treat her transition as some kind of attempt to personify her unborn sister and comply with perceived expectations rather than an attempt to feel comfortable in her own skin. she’d get nervous that she’s somehow becoming scarlett, because though she’s always thought it would be easier if she’d just been her sister, she’s never really wanted to be scarlett. she’d be scared to wear mid-length skirts, scared to put her hair up in a bun, probably even scared to wear red for a time, all because she’s scared of somehow losing herself and becoming her alter.

because of her caution and concern with identifying as a trans woman and not as the “safer“ gender identity of genderfluidity (where she can say she’s trans but never actually have to “push boundaries” by wearing feminine clothing or using any pronouns besides he/him), it would likely take her a very long time to take the step to medically transition. she’d likely never get any gender affirmation surgeries just because of how invasive the procedure is, but hormones would probably be something she’d look into once she’s much older and has a more stable income.

i mentioned before that before her transition, she uses dissociation and observation as a way to cope with her gender dysphoria. she saw herself as someone who didn’t really participate in the world, was a class ghost, invisible to everyone and a minuscule part of a vast universe. but upon transitioning, she’d feel much more actively self-conscious. once she starts to present in a feminine way, she’d feel like she’s being seen, like she’s actually participating in the world, and that’s both a blessing and a curse.

she’d be much more prone to stammering, especially when saying her name, and would blush far more often. she’d be afraid of saying the wrong thing or messing up somehow. and on top of that, she’d likely feel predatory for talking to others, always wondering if others find her cute or repulsive, always wondering if someone will perceive her and harm her in some way.

she’d very likely also feel really guilty about her own emotional experience. because she’s so used to being a passive observer, a puppet that only does what others want, she would feel like it’s selfish to be just... content. she’s so actively disgusted with herself before she transitions that she’s never allowed herself to be mentally present for a happy moment in her entire life. she always second-guesses, always dismisses positive things as a mere coincidence, and after she transitions, when she starts being more present in her life, she’d feel so guilty for just allowing herself to be happy.

because of that, she has some trouble with presenting as feminine consistently — she’d vary the “level” of her feminine presentation from day-to-day, where she might go full femme one day and another day stick with a beanie and a pair of slacks. she’s much more comfortable with presenting as more traditionally feminine when she’s at home or with trusted friends in a private space, but around 19 years old, she makes a vested effort to remain in public spaces. she’d time herself, saying, “for one hour, i’ll stay in this café while wearing a skirt, and then i can leave,” and she’d gradually increase the amount of time she spends in public spaces. and eventually, eventually she does end up feeling really comfortable with her gender presentation and falls into a more static sense of style. she really likes clothing design, so she ends up wearing a lot more dynamic outfits when she’s more comfortable with herself, and she probably also mildly gets into cosplay.

i also like to think that she reconnects with anri during her young adult years. either it’s like, right after her suicide attempt (i’ve written before that she’d had anri listed as her emergency contact and forgot to change it when she moved), or it’s at some point after she starts transitioning socially. i think it’d be really sweet for them to be friends in a more real way, and the sheer concept of anri teaching lili how to properly apply makeup and to set her hair is just so fucking sweet i might die. they both deserve to have friends so i think this is just a step up from hello charlotte canon.

#long post //#lilian eyler: study.#ive been working on this post for days. im fuckign emotional about her

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bardqueenofgallifrey · 7 years

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I didn't have a tumblr account in 2013, so I have no idea how the fuck a 53-year-old Sci fi show became part of something as cringe as "superwholock". I mean, I watch Sherlock but damn this match makes no sense. Could you explain to me how it happened please???

Honestly? I don’t know exactly.

I was never really a part of SuperWhoLock, and I don’t think I was on here for the origins either, but whenever it was that I did get on here, I was just a passionate Whovian who also watched and liked Sherlock (these days I’m pretty indifferent about Sherlock one way or another, and give as few shits about Supernatural as I ever did).

BUT, I’m gonna see if I can try and work out/theorise how SuperWhoLock rose and fell, if only to try and make the point that Doctor Who never deserved to be lumped in with it. Feel free to challenge any points I make, because I’m guessing here.

although, frankly, this idea of cringe culture is kinda snobby and gross. let people like shit, damn, if they’re not hurting anyone or trying to say Supernatural is the best show ever, who gives a fuck, honestly

Firstly, the thing about Doctor Who is that it has been around for literal multiple decades. Almost fifty four years. It has been around since before some of our parents were born.

Doctor Who fans were around long before the internet was invented. They were here before, and will be here long after everyone has forgotten what the hell Supernatural ever was. Doctor Who fans are now the ones making Doctor Who. They were the ones who, when it got cancelled, created an entire thriving Audio Drama business through the love of it that still existed everywhere, and they are the ones who brought it back and now create it. They’ve never let it die.

You know why? Why Doctor Who’s endured, and is so passionately loved by so many, and before all this mess wasn’t any more cringy than being into Star Trek? Because it’s good.

It is a flawed show, of course (always, somehow, in some way, in ways that vary across different eras), but one that is good in a reckless, nonsensical, optimistic way. No matter the ups and downs of its objective quality, it’s never really lost its heart.

It is a show with a protagonist that uses words/intelligence/compassion over violence to fight, a show that focuses on telling hopeful adventures that can be watched by children and also inform them of some of the harsher aspects of the world in an interesting way.

Also, it’s always been quite progressive. It had the first female drama producer at the BBC, and a gay Indian director. No one wanted it to succeed and it’s a miracle the show ever got off the ground.

People like to talk about the “screaming Classic companions” but you know what? Fuck that. The Classic ladies were all wonderful, including the biggest screamers. Susan? The Doctor’s granddaughter, genius, with telepathic abilities and a whole lot of heart. Mel? Computer programmer aka fucking smarty pants, who once flipped the Doctor over her shoulder, and was such a genuinely nice person that it was genuinely impressive. Zoe? Adorable 60′s companion who canonically had a higher IQ than the Doctor.

Doctor Who ladies have been awesome since the beginning, and calling out misogyny from the beginning.

(It ALSO had errors of its time, especially an Orientalism issue that is pervasive through a lot of older sci-fi, that can’t and shouldn’t be forgotten either. But that’s for the most part irrelevant to this discussion other than the general whiteness which is still obviously a problem albeit one the show is slowly working on.)

The reboot then brought in (some, not enough) queer characters and main characters of colour, etc, and its general diversity has only been getting better and better on that front for the most part, especially in the last couple of years.

But anyway, how the hell did it get mixed up with the whole SuperWhoLock mess?

Well, the reboot brought in a whole new generation of fans, and only got bigger and bigger and bigger, and was peaking RIGHT about when Sherlock aired.

The Doctor Who and Sherlock crossover is easy enough to work out; they had the same headwriter(s), and they’re both about neurodivergent (coded??) genius white guys that theoretically have a kind of unconventional attractiveness to them. You can see how they drew in the same crowd.

Now, how the hell Supernatural became a part of that, I’ve no idea. I’ve never been a Supernatural fan (even if I did watch the first four and a half seasons once, more or less enjoy them, but also not find them massively interesting).

But I’m going to assume it’s because it again involved white guys with Big Emotions, that the fans could thirst over, who were undertaking some larger than life shit.

My theory is that it, at least partly, was the White Male Slash Fandom.

You know. That group of mostly straight girls who treat shipping conventionally attractive white men like a fetish and a kink to explore, who will ship basically any two CAWM under the sun if they so much as look at each other. I imagine the Johnlock crowd overlapped with the Destiel and Wincest crowd, and Doctor Who, since it had Ten/Simm!Master (and Eleven/Rory to a lesser extent) as well as some nice hetero ships, kind of got dragged along because almost everyone in the Sherlock fandom was probably in the Doctor Who fandom too.

You can kind of see how it fits. The Supernatural gang and the Team TARDIS are big damn heroes with a lot of heart, while Sherlock fulfilled the ideal levels of pretentiousness that we all go through in our teenage years.

Of course, then everyone realised that Supernatural kinda sucks because it’s an incredibly white, incredibly male, incredibly STRAIGHT show that just queerbaits its audience and doesn’t know when to call it quits, and so everyone started jumping ship.

Then everyone looked at Sherlock, either went “this has its issues but it’s still fun”, “this is QUEERBAITING TOO, WHY WONT JOHNLOCK KISS, FUCK MOFFISS”, or “this is also incredibly white, incredibly male, and incredibly straight, so fuck this also”, and that was it for Sherlock and general opinion too.

(For the record: Johnlock was not queerbait. Johnlock was an expression of Steven Moffat’s own very intimate, but platonic, friendship with Mark Gatiss, and they explicitly told everyone they were not gonna make it gay. And then the toxic ass fandom, deluded out their minds, started sending Gatiss - an actual gay man - abuse about being “an honorary straight” for not making their fetishised fictional relationship canon, at one point literally the day after the Pulse massacre. Seriously. What the fuck. Never speak about it being queerbaiting ever again and leave Mark Gatiss the fuck alone.)

Now. Doctor Who had meanwhile been dealing with the changeover of the showrunner.

Series 5 went down pretty well for the most part, but a lot of people had their issues with Series 6 and Series 7. The fandom had kind of gotten too big, for a show this unconventional. To the point of a lot of people not being able to deal with the distinct change from the style of Russell T Davies, because they weren’t really aware of how the show needs to reinvent itself constantly even on a stylistic level. Because they were treating the show like any other show, when one can’t really do that.

It was all kind of a mess of:

very mixed fan reception on Series 6

Series 7 being on the weaker side (not as weak as some people who missed the whole point of Clara’s storyline make it out to be, but weak nonetheless, though Moffat has admitted to this and explained it was because he was under so much pressure about the looming 50th anniversary, and like, fuck, fair enough)

people being pissed at Moffat for Sherlock shit

Russell T Davies having done quite a few things in his era that are questionable from a wider Doctor Who standpoint, which Moffat as the Ultimate Who Fan didn’t go along with, only to then receive hate from people who were convinced that if RTD did something it must be right, because they haven’t seen Classic Who or apparently bothered to do a couple of google searches to educate themselves

plus, a few of Moffat’s quotes around 2012ish got taken out of context because he’s a sarcastic little shit who runs his mouth

and so people got the idea that Moffat’s a narcissistic misogynist who “loves white men”

also people confused “plot hole” with “is going to be explained later” and complained about him having plot holes in series 5-7 when really it’s just that he was waiting to tie up all the loose ends in Matt Smith’s finale episode

Anyway, thus began the popular - to this day! - sentiment of thinking that Moffat is one of the worst things to happen to television, or at least Doctor Who (and Sherlock Holmes).

And so, that was the “downfall” of Doctor Who and SuperWhoLock, so to speak, as all three shows were written off by the wider Tumblr/nerd community as being incredibly cringy.

Now, to examine it from today’s view, in light of recent series/opinion about the series/the female Doctor reveal.

The problem is, the general attitude about Moffat - who don’t get me wrong, is far from a flawless writer, or person - has literally reached the point of mass delusion. It’s very clear that literally thousands of people have a completely fictionalised version of him in their heads.

How do I know this? I saw someone say that a female Doctor was a “defiance of everything the Moffat era stood for”.

As in, the same Moffat era that, in the last three seasons:

explicitly made the genderfluidity of Time Lords canon (Dark Water/Death In Heaven, World Enough And Time)

changed the Master into a woman (Dark Water)

had the now female Master refer to becoming a woman as an “upgrade” (The Witch’s Familiar)

had a companion’s whole storyline be about “becoming the Doctor” in her own right, with her getting a whole episode of her pretending to be the Doctor, and her flying off in her own TARDIS with a companion of her own in the end of her final episode! (Flatline, Hell Bent)

had ANOTHER companion’s storyline end with her immortal space girlfriend at the console of the TARDIS, offering for her to travel through all of time and space with her in a direct parallel to the Nine/Rose offer from the first episode to the reboot (The Doctor Falls, Rose)

had a Time Lord regenerate from a white guy to a black lady onscreen just to FINALLY shut up people who said race/gender changes couldn’t happen (Hell Bent)

had the Doctor positively reacting to the suggestion that he could be - or had been - a woman, multiple times (Death In Heaven, World Enough And Time, The Doctor Falls)

Moffat’s era has been statistically proven to have shifted public opinion in favour of a female Doctor (ask @scriptscribbles, if you want proof), thanks to the above.

Simm!Master: “She? Is the future going to be all girl?”

Twelve: “We can only hope.”

Also, Moffat wrote Lumley!Doctor in The Curse of Fatal Death in 1999. He’s been pushing for a female Doctor for 18 damn years.

So, the idea that anyone thinks he’s against it, as opposed to having explicitly worked to help make it happen for years, shows that the general opinion of him is literally a mass fictionalisation/delusion.

(It’s just one example, but there are hundreds of others, like how everyone seems to think he thinks of himself as The Greatest Ever and having a huge ego, when he’s literally one of the most self-deprecating people ever, if you watch him in an interview. He’s openly admitted to mistakes he’s made on his time on the show, such as the way he handled the scene at the end of Flesh and Stone, and how Series 7 wasn’t his best because of the pressure he was under about the upcoming 50th anniversary; he is aware of his fallibility.)

He’s not a perfect person, or writer, and no one knows that better than him. There’s a lot of critical discussions we could have about his writing, and there are a fair few actual problems with it, just as there are in the RTD era, and every damn era of Who that has existed. I’m not saying everybody has to like it, because every era of Doctor Who is down to personal preference, and that’s fine. There are plenty of rational, well-informed people, fans and otherwise, who have their -often sound - reasons for not liking Moffat and/or his era of Who in general. I am friends with some of them.

But those rational, well-informed people are like, 5% of the people who otherwise make up a sea of loud, ignorant delusion that condemns Doctor Who under Moffat’s direction and downright refuses to acknowledge some of the amazing stuff it’s done in the last few years.

(Like, Series 10 featured a black lesbian co-lead who got a happy ending, leaving the Moffat era finishing strong on six canonically sapphic women, four of whom are still alive, none of whom died pointlessly or without agency, and three of whom are immortal or close enough, in a time when all other TV sapphics are dropping dead like flies. It also had the Doctor punch a racist in the face and comment on how history is whitewashed, and had an episode slamming capitalism. Plus, the finale canonised that Time Lords don’t view gender the same way, reinforcing canon genderfluid Time Lords.)

Between his second and third seasons of DW being divisive and/or a bit weak, all the Sherlock shit going down, and the fall of Supernatural, and the issue of people taking RTD Who as the baseline for everything Doctor Who when they really shouldn’t have, anti-Moffat sentiments got so big that masses of people fell off the show, and continue to refuse to acknowledge that he might have done anything worthwhile with it since they left. That he might, as a person, have developed and improved.

And so, that is potentially how Doctor Who got lumped in with SuperWhoLock, labelled “not progressive”, and considered “cringy” to this day.

Or at least, that’s my theory, as someone who wasn’t really paying a lot of attention, but knows her Doctor Who.

#doctor who #steven moffat #fandom theory #dw fandom #fan theory #i say shit #fuck this became an ESSAY #my god #I might be totally off base here but these are my Thoughts #anon asks #I spent HOURS on this god #i edited it more than I've edited essays for uni lmao

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troofless · 5 years

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Under-appreciated light novels recommendation list, ranked in terms of PLEASE READ, to ehh, I’ll just put it in anyway:

Legend of Sun Knight (Completed Translation+Series): Set in a world of knights and magic, this series is golden comedy because the MC literally carries the plot. He’s smart, snarky and sleazy… but in a good way. I wrote about it here, but this series is for people who love comedy and political-castle-intrigue-level manipulation. ANYWAY PLEASE READ IT IT’S UP THERE ON MY TOP TEN BOOKS TO READ. No anime or manga translation. WHY.

Rakuin no Monshou (Completed Translation): For people who love the switching-the-royal-prince-with-a-body-double trope, political manoeuvring, military tactics, having the main character travel to different countries and exploring their governing system, and major character growth. No ecchi scenes, mentions of sex and rape (if any) are not elaborated on. Love between the MC and the female lead is more of a stranger to mutual respect to love, but since the female lead is literally 14-15 (they’re engaged to foster peace between two countries and not some lolicon thing), there are literally 0 sexy/blushy blushy/kissing/intimacy scenes between them. In the story their relationship feels less like a lovey dovey couple and more like the relationship between two generals that trust each other. This doesn’t have an anime or manga series after it. Why.

Only Sense Online (Ongoing Translation, Ongoing Series): Unlike the recent isekai and trapped-in-an-online-game-and-if-you-die-in-the-game-you-die-for-realsies trends that are going around right now, this is just a game where the MC has fun playing a normal VRMMO and makes new friends in it. …In fact, the MC isn’t an otaku or a game maniac, his sister and childhood friend are the ones crazy about levelling up and doing all the main subjugation-monster quests and everything, he’s more of the chill type who’d rather hang back and craft stuff to sell in his shop. He likes doing things at his own pace and learning how to craft new things in his own time. Instead of battling monsters and levelling up, he’s more likely to be seen harvesting items and mining rocks. Oh, and also at the start of the game he mis-clicked and is stuck in a female avatar, and combined with his mothering, take-care-of-everyone personality, everyone treats him like like a ‘nanny’ and is in awe of his ‘moe-ness’, even though he keeps insisting he’s a guy. One of the story’s underlying message is that different people have different ways of enjoying the same game, be it doing quests in a party, creating items to support players, roleplaying, and even PKing, and that’s okay because that’s what a game is for. No angst or permanent character deaths (it is a game after all), tis for warming your heart with the sheer sunny goodness that is the MC. No ecchi. Has an ongoing manga series, but no anime.

Hidan no Aria (Ongoing Translation, Completed Series): MC goes to a 'military’ school that trains students to be armed detectives, or as they say, ‘Butei’ (Busou Tantei). Think mercenaries. Female MC is a OP genius and major tsundere, only out-shadowed by our MC. MC considers himself weak, and because of his genes, his innate OP powers is only triggered when a certain condition is met: aka when he is sexually aroused. (Insert sexy times.) In this mode he doesn’t get flashy superpowers or anything (at least, by the world’s standard) — all it does it accelerate his brain’s thought process, but it gets so OP to the point where can deflect bullets with his own bullets and slice bullets in two with his knife. OP God Mode. This trigger also turns him into a major flirt and gigolo that can’t say no to a girl, which caused him to actively seek to avoid situations where he is in close contact with girls to prevent being triggered. Has a ‘harem’ of girls if you wanna call it that way, but even though the story is halfway translated as of now, it’s obvious he’s fallen for the main female lead. You’d only want to read this story to find out the next BS thing the MC does when he’s triggered, and it can only get higher and higher. Seriously, the moment where he catches a bullet in his teeth (way later in the story) gives you the best feeling ever. To put it in the Female MC’s words: "How about that rating, Kinji? Being classed by the world as a dangerous character who fights non-humans? Tell me how do you like that?” And his words: "–I’m a senior high school student. My grades are slightly below average, and I attend a violent school.”, and his monologue: [At least that was what I want to be. Honestly…] Had a 2011 anime and ongoing manga series, as well as a Yuri spinoff series (as per the usual anime law decreeing that all spinoffs have to have Yuri plot in them, see Soul Eater and Fate Prisma).

Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu (Completed Translation + Series): Idiots doing idiotic things in school. Interesting battle system, with loads of comedy. Loads. Of. Comedy. No ecchi scenes. Had an two-season anime series in 2010 and 2011, and a manga series.

Chrome Shelled Regios (Completed Translation + Series): Main character is OP but gets debuffed at the very start, tries to restart his life as a normal person but realises that his innate talent for fighting doesn’t allow him to. Has many female love interests but at the end MC only chooses one. ‘Magic’ system works a little differently from conventional sources, nearing more to martial arts style, and telekinesis-telepathy combination rather than enchanting-spell type. What else can I say other than the MC controls a weapon made of thousands of infinitely thin and sharp wires that he uses to slice bugs (the main enemy) up with... which is so badass. (Though his main weapon is a sword.) No ecchi scenes. The sideplot about ‘fate’ and the history of the setting gets a little confusing though. This had an anime, but since the director died right before the 2009 anime ended it’s unlikely that a second season will come out. It does have a manga side plot series that is completed and a great accompaniment to the main light novel.

CubexCursedxCurious (Completed Translation + Series): MC lives in a house that is apparently so holy that cursed weapons journey there to get purified and lift their cursed. Oh yeah, and some cursed weapons can turn into people too (Soul Eater style?). Wielding the weapons will obviously give you great power, but it also has serious drawbacks, e.g. A sword cursed to be able to slice through anything, drawback is that their owner will be consumed by bloodlust and is compelled to draw blood with that sword (in other words, the old regular cursed sword rule). MC is of course immune to curses (and so he can wield that sword) because he was born in that holy place. Female lead is originally a torture device made of 32 different torture tools, including Iron Maiden, Guillotine, Pendulum, etc. Literally the first scene is the female lead found naked (since her real form is a mcfreaking cube I would not be surprised) in the MC’s kitchen looking for food to eat so let there be a representative of the subsequent ecchi scenes to be found. The cursed tool system is cool, anyway. MC doesn’t end up with anyone is particular. Plus point: Not all female characters introduced are in love with the male MC. Just three (3) girls. Also, the second light novel doesn’t feature the ‘second’ heroine’s backstory arc like a lot of light novels do... but instead a couple of a girl and a genderfluid character. Cool stuff. Had a 2011 anime and (very behind) manga series.

Other more well known ones:

Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku (Up to Date Translation, Ongoing Series): Think Battle Royale x Danganronpa x the Mahou Shoujo Trope. Lots of blood and death, so don’t bother if you don’t want to see your favourite character die/put through lots of angst and depression. Each Magical Girl has different superpowers and you’d only want to read it in hopes of seeing your favourite character live to the end/have a cool death scene/have cool action scenes in general. One of the underlying themes was that it’s not a given that powerful people will always win; the strong can be overthrown by the weak (I can think of at least two occasions), a person can win a killing game without any blood on their hands, and the magical government is pretty much corrupt. Had a recent 2016 anime series and a manga series.

Hyouka (Up to Date Translation and Series): Based on Agatha Christie stories, think mysteries but without any actual murder.

And then I’ll throw in a few English books to show that I have good taste in books:

Captive Prince by CS Pacat: Gayyyyy + lots of politics. THE ROMANCE THOUGH.... enemies to tentative friends to hostile ‘ah we’re supposed to be on opposing sides as enemies of each other’s nation’ to lovers YEAAHHHHHHH. Some parts are explicit, yeah.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan: MC was dragged into a magical military academy in a magical land to be a child soldier, but instead of being typical Harry Potter he is snarky, sarcastic and actually raises valid questions like why the heck are they raising child soldiers??? Bisexual icon male MC who is also a pacifist I love him he must be protected

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein: War story narrated by a spy who was caught by enemy soldiers and forced to reveal her state secrets in the form of written narrative. Mystery and unreliable narrator time! If you can survive the first few draggy chapters and then a little more the reveal is SO. REWARDING. Female MC.

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett: I tried recommending this to my friend and sadly I realised that if you have no background knowledge on Christianity and what the apocalypse details you may not find this interesting. It’s a shame because it’s so funny. EDIT: I’m so glad it got a TV series??? That means more people will read the book, which is amazing, right???

The Sherwood Ring by Elizabeth Marie Pope: Female MC and the story of her ancestor’s romances (think short story-style but all connected together). Straight romance. Female MC.

Any book by Brandon Sanderson: Yes. Just… yes.

Summers at Castle Auburn by Sharon Shinn: A bastard girl stays in the castle with her royal relatives for the summer. (If you’re wondering there is discrimination against her as a commoner but overall she is loved by her family there.) Somehow the only page I have bookmarked in this book is the part near the end where the MC commits royal crimes, and is slapped by the king, giving the reader no small amount of satisfaction. Fantasy-style with small amount of political intrigue, female MC is a apprentice hedgewitch so she knows herbal knowledge (which is a prominent part of the book when she uses it?). Anyway, please read.

A Posse of Princesses by Sherwood Smith: Female princess MC is invited to a large one week (?) party with the other country’s princes and princesses to celebrate this big county’s prince’s great birthday or smth. Some political intrigue and also great plot twist. At the end of it I got really invested in the romance between the side characters bc they were really well developed lol..

The Queen’s Thief Series by Megan Whalen Turner: The third book is my favourite book because I love the MC (Costis!!!!!), bless his innocent soul (COSTIS!!!!!!) caught up in the nefarious plots of the first book MC. Little romance and more of political plots.

Warriors by Erin Hunter: I had to include at least one joke book and this was it. Anyway this was the series I grew up reading, honestly the third series had the best MC in the blind, grumpy, no-nonsense healer who is so refreshingly different from a normal ‘hero archetype’ MC. (*whisper* You gotta talk about the furries, troof!) Oh. Oh yeah, they’re all cats.

#troofless stuff #living trooflessly #I just finished reading Rakuin no Monshou and it ended satisfactorily #troofless reads books

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