#all the post-nathema feels
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11, 15, 27 and 30 for Ahaszaai twins (questions for extraordinary muses)? (sorry if late)
From [Questions for 'Extraordinary' Muses]
(if you either want the list or wanna send in some more. Ik I rb'd this a while ago but after this & the blorbo bingo one(s) are answered the askbox is gonna be empty again so open to taking more if y'all want! 💪)
Thank you for the ask @a-master-procrastinator !! I had fun with this one hehe
Some notes:
Gonna take the stance of "ability" being the Force ability that they're most well-known for rather than just the Force as a whole because. That's not "extraordinary" in and of itself in the SWTOR universe xP Click the ability name for the Wookieepedia page in case you're not familiar with the Force ability itself and want a refresher/explanation! :3 For Saarai, it's psychometry and for Ni'kasi it's Force-walking
Also feel like it'd be more fun to answer these in-character for a change so that's what we're gonna do! 😊
Alrighty now that we're on the same page, onto the questions!! :'DD Under a cut bc it's a long post, no specific warnings needed other than spoilers for the Sith Inquisitor storyline if you haven't done it, some swearing, and some mild implied angst <3
11. Have you ever had an embarrassing moment while using your ability?
Saarai huffs softly, her jaw spurs rattling in embarrassment as she ducks her head and mutters. "Lana and Koth promised not to tell anyone!" she whines, staring at her own shoes for a moment, before begrudgingly looking up to answer. "...Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll admit it." the Pureblood shuffles her weight from one foot to another, arms crossing over her broad chest. "Sometimes I forget to wear my gloves, so it can be pretty embarrassing when I pick something up or touch something and all of a sudden I'm bitch-slapped with a torrent of Force visions about all the blood and death and shit that the thing was connected to. Usually I'm er...I'm better at planting my feet and pushing through it but...." a distant look enters her sulfur-yellow eyes, and she trails off for a long moment as if Saarai were somewhere else entirely. If you're observant, you'll notice a shudder of discomfort work its way through the Pureblood's normally-sturdy frame. "But Nathema...that was a whole different beast. I didn't think- Gods, I never wanted to cry like that in front of Lana or Koth but it all hit me at once and I just couldn't help it." It might be best not to press her for more details, whatever she saw in those visions, it clearly was upsetting for Saarai.
Ni'kasi, however, remains quiet at first. Her eyes scrutinise you closely, as if she's trying to decide whether she can get away with giving away information that might make her 'vulnerable'. A soft breath huffs from her nostrils, and she shakes her shoulders out before admitting, her face blank and unreadable of any sort of humiliation or sheepishness that might give away how she really feels about the story she's telling. "....I suppose, the first time I tried to use it. The first time I fought Thanaton. That's what I get for trusting Zash at her word, it never happened again, and it never will. I got cocky, and figured I could handle far more power than I was prepared to." more quietly, she mutters. "Mother was right, as usual. Should've listened to her." her impassive mask of an expression does crack, then, as she flashes a sharp-toothed grin. "Fucker's deader than the ghosts in my head, now so...tell someone about Darth Occulus' greatest fuck up, or don't. Nobody's going to believe you if you do."
15. Would you ever choose to trade your ability for another?
Again, Saarai goes quiet. For a moment you wonder if she's heard your question at all, but when she speaks up it's clear she had, it was just something she genuinely had to put a lot of thought into for a moment. "....You know what? I don't think so." she shrugs, letting out a mirthful laugh and seeming to shake off the melancholy that had taken hold of her moments before. "Listen, as much as not being able to touch shit without gloves on can suck sometimes it's...it's something that's always been there, y'know? It's a part of me, just like the Force is. I think I'd feel like I wasn't whole if I woke up tomorrow and the psychometry was gone."
Ni'kasi doesn't even hesitate before she shakes her head. "No. Not for anything in the galaxy. It was a difficult ability to master, but it...gave me a connection to my family, my mother in particular, that I'm not sure I would've had without it." she smirks, thinking of Thanaton, though her lips settle into a smile that's far more fond as she carries on talking. "I could've found a way to kill that bastard without it, but...having mother there to talk to, even now, is nice. Makes me miss her a lot less than I did before I learned to Force-walk."
27. If you could give your abilities to one person for a day, who would it be?
Saarai's answer this time is far more immediate, and her voice raises perhaps a little more than she means it to in her vigor to convey her point. "NO ONE!" seeming to realize that such a loud outburst might have startled you, she coughs, spurs trembling again, and when she speaks again her tone returns to its normal register. "Look, I'm not even sure if this is something that you can just learn or...or give to someone else. I was born with it, as far as I know. But even if it was possible, trust me, I wouldn't want anyone else rushing into this. It seems cool on paper, and as much as I'm used to it now and wouldn't get "rid" of it, seriously...it gets old real fast. When it's helpful, it's helpful but when it sucks? It really sucks. The constant fear that some weapon or object you pick up is gonna be a metaphorical brick to the face, the nightmares in your sleep...You don't want this."
Lady Occulus folds her arms behind her back, raises her chin and stares down at you, hard. "Why?" she asks at length, trying to parse out why you're prying into that particular question. "Who wants to know?"
(Author intervention (for the actual answer since Kas isn't gonna give it 🤣) : She might entertain teaching an apprentice she trusts, buuuuuttt she'd have to be certain they wouldn't turn on her and use it against her. I mean, that's basically what she did to Zash and Thanaton and she's not stupid enough to open herself up to that same achilles' heel 😉)
30. Name one skill you haven’t yet perfected that you want to master.
Saarai smiles again, a big, toothy grin this time. Unlike her twin, she's not the least bit shy about admitting her shortcomings and even laughs as she does so. "I wouldn't mind learning how to be better with Force lightning. It's not something I was ever good at, I can do a little but...Kas and Lana are way better at it than I am." she gestures at her posture, all bulk and hard muscle. "Doesn't lend itself so well to the artistry and the fine hand movements, does it? Nah, I'm more like...the battering ram that kicks the door in while they do the finicky lightning work. Still, it might be handy to be better at it, bet it comes in handy for short-circuiting those droids, or consoles and stuff."
Ni'kasi sniffs, seeming almost offended that you're still trying to poke into her weak points. When Rai gets more animated discussing hers, however, she seems to consider an answer of her own that isn't too damning to her reputation. A soft chuckle escapes the Pureblood, her eyes shining with an undeniable fondness and admiration for her sister, if you're looking closely enough to notice that is. "...I'm not good with people. Not like Rai is. Bossing people around and telling them what to do? That I can do. But making friends, making people like me? She makes it look so fucking easy and sometimes I wish I could be more like her..."
#Q&A with the fam#extraordinary muse asks#swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai#swtor oc: ni'kasi ahaszaai#the ahaszaai twins#long post#this one was a *LOT* of fun; thanks pauletta!!#i kinda turned this into a defacto interview format but it felt right?#it was fun i enjoyed this a lot /pos :D#lana and koth. your girlfriend would like a word with you /jk#thank you for the ask!#a-master-procrastinator
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Fluffy February Day 18: Pain
Lmfao this was post #200
SWTOR
Pairing: Setra Rowan (Setra Shan at this point of the story)/Theron Shan
Time Period: Partway through Onslaught, roughly 3 months before saving Satele Shan/defeating the Emperor for the billionth time ( shortly after Scourge and Kira first make their return)
CW for childbirth
Setra was no stranger to pain. The pain from everything that happened on Corellia. The pain that followed right after being freed from Carbonite. The pain when Arcann stabbed her. The pain that followed Theron's actions on Umbara and continued until shortly after Nathema.
But nothing came close to, let alone prepare her for, for the worst contractions. The discomfort and pressure that increased with each. Pain that seared so hot that even the Force and meditation provided no relief. The screams that involuntarily ripped out of her throat. The sudden relief after he was out. The exhaustion that washed over her as she leaned back against Theron for support for a few moments before he (with her consent) had gotten up to follow the doctors as they cleaned up the baby. Setra watched in a daze as he held the baby first, reeling as the pain and exhaustion rolled over her.
But it all became worth it when her son was placed on her chest for the first time. The pain was pushed aside immediately, the Force wrapping around her, Theron, and their child. Telling her that this was right. While Syo had been wholeheartedly wanted and planned (and conceived almost immediately after their wedding), she still hadn't anticipated the range of emotions as the doctors showed her how to hold him and help him latch - the terror that she was going to dop him or otherwise hurt him, the nagging fear that she wasn't going to be a good mother, the bottomless love and joy that enveloped all.
Setra was very glad that she'd already ignored the part of her Codes surrounding attachments. It was like the Force itself had shifted to acknowledge the new bond.
Theron kissed her neck before taking a shaky hand and placing it on their son's head. He then slipped behind Setra on the bed again, letting her rest against him.
"You did good, babe. How're you feeling?" Theron's voice was low, awestruck.
"Sore. I have body parts hurting that I didn't know could hurt. Glad to have him out and not be pregnant. Feels almost weird, though."
"Still want to be one and done?"
"Scorekeeper, yes."
The new parents shared a chuckle; while Setra wasn't one to complain thanks to her Jedi training (and between being both Force-sensitive and a Zabrak, she had an exceptionally high pain tolerance and hid most pain she felt very well), the pregnancy had been rough, the last few weeks resulting in (to Setra's utter dismay) enforced bed rest.
They sat in companionable silence, wearing equally-awed looks as they took in their son, until Theron convinced Setra to get some rest, cradling his son as he watched the sunset from his seat next to the hospital window.
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The first day, the only visitors they accepted were Lana, Nadia, and Setra's immediate family. Theron sent pictures to Satele on the off-chance that she miraculously woke up from her coma. He also sent a brief message and a few pictures to Jace, not expecting more than a generic "congratulations!"; while Jace had attended their wedding and responded positively to their pregnancy announcement, things were still tense with him, and they weren't close. There was pain there still.
Only for Jace to show up to their hospital room the second day, completely unannounced.
Setra had bounced back quickly, resulting in her sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed as Theron paced with the fussing newborn. They heard Jace booming down the hall, causing both to freeze and share shocked looks. Theron quickly handed Syo off to Setra as he met his father in the hallway.
Setra had expected shouting, and was pleasantly surprised when they kept it to a quiet, yet clearly heated, debate. She was even more surprised when Theron led Jace into the hospital room after ten minutes. Paws immediately was up and alert at Setra's feet - he'd been sprawled across the end of the hospital bed in a purring heap (much to the dismay of the hospital staff) - but Setra gave him the command to settle.
Jace's face lit up when he saw the nexu.
And then he pulled out a giant stuffed nexu from behind his back. It was almost life-size, and much too big for a newborn.
Setra couldn't help it; a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as Jace set the stuffed animal with the other baby supplies and started taking stock of what the new parents still needed. She turned her head as Theron perched next to her on the bed. Setra kept her voice low.
"You okay with this? I can put my foot down."
"Yeah. I think. Lots of emotions. Want to give us both a chance."
Setra balanced Syo in one arm as her free hand found Theron's.
There was pain, but they could work through it. Together.
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SWTOR [Senya x Valkorion] For Naught
Hello! This is my first time posting a short story. Any pointers, let me know.
Senya burst through the doors her stride urgent as she approached Valkorion. Valkorion had his back turned to everything but the stars, almost as if he was fighting some invisible battles. It's a habit he had been developing, one that worried Senya until it became annoyance; festering into resentment. Stopping just short of being able to touch him.
Senya held her breath, a small part of her hoping he'd be alert for a change. She glared at the back of his head, deciding to force him to pay attention, "Did you know?" Her words carried venom. She could swear she saw his ear twitch, a good sign.
"Know what, Senya?" His honeyed voice echoed in the large room. He turned ever so slightly to face her.
"What they are doing to Vaylin" there was desperation in her voice. "We have to get her out of there now."
Valkorion smirked, "Senya, we both agreed she was too dangerous to train her. Nathema, is the only place that can help her control her powers, the head keeper has strict orders from me that no death shall befall her."
"But Valkorion... the things theyre doing to her, Thexan-"
Valkorion raised his hand, interrupting her. "All necessary. If they have moved on to more 'rigorous' and 'unconventional' means its due to Vaylin's response. Remember this isnt an attack on our daughter, only a defense taken against her power. You saw what she did to those guards... theyre helping her control that raw power. If we pulled her out now, she'd only be mad that it was all for naught" He said trying to cox Senya back to understanding.
Senya backed away from him, "You can't seriously be condoning this. Vaylin doesn’t need this, she never has shes only needed her father. And the boys , Thexan and Arcann they need you too. We all do! This is the most we have spoken in 2 years!"
Valkorion shrugged, "They will have me once they've proven themselves worthy of my attention."
"They dont need to prove themselves worthy of anything, they are our children! That's enough." She pointed at him accusingly.
Valkorion let out a shrill laugh, "Such weak sentiment. Unconditional love leads to compliancy and failure. Another reason they seek me out instead of you. They know they must earn my attention because it is valuable. If our sons are to one day take the throne, we need leaders who have proven their worth in combat and in being adept of floating above the ocean of destiny. That's the only way to form a legacy." He turned to fully face her, "I gave your children a name and place in the galaxy. All I ask is they earned their keep. Discussion over."
Senya sighed, "Valkorion... please. You've been distracted for too long. When will you realize, your children are your legacy. We are your legacy. Please open your eyes."
Valkorion narrowed his eyes, his hand extended into a fist. Before he turned away "You are relieved of your duties within my legacy. You will not question your Immortal Emperor. Go."
Senya's eyes widened, just like that, he had turned his back on her too. Dismissed her. As the edges of her vision darkened, she felt the tears forming in her eyes. Anger soon replaced the heartache, her last memory of Valkorion, the white siluette of Valkorion turning away from her. This wasnt the man she married, this wasn't the father of her children, this was a separate beast entirely. She felt her motherly instinct to protect her children keep her moving as she decided not to earn his wrath. Indifference was a long acting venom but wrath, she had seen him in the battlefield, there would be no one left if she challenged him.
She didn't know how she did it, but she managed to return to their bedroom, muttering, "Never again." Her body felt numb the only feeling being her adrenaline forcing time to feel as if it was rushing by but also paused. She felt the urgency to go; she could feel through the force the darkness tainting her children.
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I know it’s not your canon for your OCs; but how different do you think things would be if Ves *was* the Outlander? How would Lana have dealt with that loss and how would Ves have dealt with everything? I’m so fascinated by the thought of it
^ ask equivalent of throwing my brain into a blender loll thanks for the ask!! <3 Short answer:
Long answer:
Things will be much bloodier. And, unfortunately, post-KotET Ves will not become a better person (or heal, at least) as she does in canon.
Let's do this based on my fic: where Ves meets Lana much earlier in the timeline, because I'm not sure Ves is able to fall in love so quickly, and with so much happening between SoR - KotET.
With this, things will be simultaneously much better and much worse for Lana when Ves is thrown into carbonite. Better because their bond already exists, and she knows for certain that Ves is still alive. Worse because her search spans five long years, which makes her question her own sanity in darker moments, wondering if she isn't just deluding herself with an imagined presence. When the carbonite poisoning sets in, Lana will feel so much more pressure to find her soon, before losing her forever.
Finding Ves will be a huge relief, and after Ves becomes the Commander, I'd wager things couldn't be better for Lana. The Commander, her hope, and her love are one - her direction is clear, loyalty unquestioned. Ves is hers to follow unto death.
There will be angst about pushing her love to the forefront of danger of course, but that's a given for any Outlander who romances Lana. I just find this interesting because it contrasts with Lana's actions in my fic, where she chooses not to turn to Ves, instead following some Force-led belief to find the Jedi Knight who would be Outlander. This creates tension within Lana: that she'd placed a saviour's mantle on her friend's shoulders, in order to protect her love from facing the same risks.
So Lana will have things easier, in a sense, for this AU :p Same for Ves too, up til the end of KotET. After, however... *sharpens knife*
Waking from carbonite after five years will not faze her badly - she'd seen and done much weirder shit. Being thrown right into a race to save the galaxy won't slow her down either - she'd won the struggle from slave to Dark Lord. She can and will ascend further onto the Eternal Throne.
What will drive her is the need to take revenge on Arcann and, more importantly, to relieve the pain Lana had endured through the five-year search.
With Darth Avriss at the helm, the Alliance takes a much darker path - enemies are executed without hesitation, allies kept on a tight leash. No regard is given to Zakuulan lives - she lets the reactor explode, and cripples Zakuul with Kaliyo's bombs.
When the time comes, she'll kill Senya for protecting her son, slay Arcann with the galaxy as witness, and end Vaylin without remorse. She will claim the throne as Empress, to Lana's delight.
She'd have an easier time with Valkorion squatting in her head, having been through it before. But Valk's presence does disturb her - she can feel faint ripples of the power he keeps hidden beneath the surface. He isn't under her control, and she knows he's a snake lying in the grass, waiting to pounce. So she doesn't take any of his offers, only falling prey to it that first time to save Lana. (Who proceeds to kick her ass about it.)
She doesn't kill Theron during the Nathema arc, knowing Lana would be upset by it, deep down.
But here's the kicker for Ves, post-Alliance. In this timeline, she hadn't suffered through Zakuul's invasion, watching her own power fray, confronted by the ephemerality of everything she'd built in the Empire. Her spirit hadn't been broken by her own struggle against a superior force. Her belief in the Sith Empire and her own power is still intact, and she is determined to get it all back.
Her Alliance joins the Empire. She wrests back her own seat on the Dark Council, and reclaims the title of Darth Avriss in full. She is restored to her former glory, power at her fingertips, love at her side, and yet, yet.
The core struggle of Vestra's character is this - she is someone who was meant to walk in the light, but was stolen by the dark. She was born with a heart that loves unabashedly, that will fight hard to right wrongs. Even as a slave, with hope dimmed in her eyes, she worked with her parents to care for the others, protecting slaves younger and weaker than her.
Then the Sith came and broke her, rebuilt her, taught her to view the world through blood-smeared eyes. She took to her new life and flourished, yes; but she is also prone to vicious self-hate if she looks into the eyes of her reflection for too long, to moments in the dark with a knife's point held to her own chest, to drowning herself with spice and sex to escape her reality.
When she returns to the Empire, with an Alliance purged of those who'd be willing to help her (my JK and JC), she cuts off all possibility of climbing out of this cycle of self-hate and destruction.
Lana would still be happy with her, in all her power-drunk, strutting glory. But Ves, Ves, Ves. I'm sorry. You will die thinking that with your passing, the galaxy will be made a better place.
#i had a word vomit about ves at the end there sowwy#it touched on something about her that i never talk about and i Lost Control#if there's something specific u wanna know that i didn't talk about pls feel free to ask :3#swtor#vestra lenshe#lana beniko#yzwrites#ask#anonymous
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*looks around* say, what was Tyr's experience with Nathema to have such a violent emotional reaction to it?
Ehehehehe >:D
I inexplicably feel uh. Exhausted today, so let's see if I can. make this coherent enough to follow. Especially because it's one of several Tyr Lore notes that roll around like tumbleweeds in my head, but it's hard for Tyr to talk about, if he ever does, and while it certainly is informed by a boatload of his former experiences, it still... doesn't trickle out a lot into fics - or at least it hasn't yet. But I can sure talk about it for him!
In particular interest this time is the visit to Nathema in relation to Vaylin's conditioning there, though... arguably, neither of his visits are particularly 'Galaxy's 50 hottest vacation destinations' list worthy.
The short answer is that Nathema and its connotations are an emotional trigger point for what I'd call Tyr's genuinely deepest fear: being controlled again, to lose what little grip on his individual purpose he does have to the orders of someone else again. And, unfortunately, Nathema is... another blip in a long history of that kind of control running in Imperial circles. While Nathema is definitively more between Valkorian and Vaylin, Valkorian inextricably had a hand in both empires, and the methods he sees at Nathema are not methods Tyr would ever, ever place beyond the Sith Empire. He's seen - and will continue to see after - that it sure as hell isn't.
Alone, the whole experience is more than enough to make it dig at old wounds. I'd even argue it's a fear Tyr guards rather well. It's a silent undercurrent in everything else that rests on his shoulders - the fear of losing the very few he does call close friends, the weight of leading the Alliance, a Cipher's inability to not see the potential scope in all of these issues.
To sort of backtrack then and develop what that pressure point even looks like, Tyr plays... a very interesting game of galactic Twister deflecting the blame for his experiences under Castellan Restraints off of people he cared for and admired and onto parties he could at least hold a grudge against, if not take on outright; Tyr largely blames the Dark Council and Hunter for the bulk of his trauma. At the end of the day, that's who Tyr sees holding the leash and the person he believes delighted the most in tugging at it just to watch him struggle and nearly buckle entirely under the pressure. And all of that still mixing with the kind of ideals he manages to hold to made his position with the Empire post-Corellia incredibly precarious. Not to get too off-topic, but I imagine part of the reason Tyr in particular is assigned as the field lead for the Makeb expedition is because he's just as much on a 'succeed or you better hope you die trying' mandate from Marr and the Council as the bulk of that team. He's not exactly told up front how much of a suicide mission that might be, but he can't say he's surprised when he finds out the extent to which it is once he's on the ground.
Which is... a long and context-inclusive way of giving the groundwork for why its a persistent fear of his. Particularly operating double agent for Ardun Kothe (and, again, not because he's fearing this from Ardun - or even the SIS at large). In short and to reference a particularly delicious conversation the agent can have with Lokin again, "Of all the things that can go wrong in this job, dying's not so bad. Failure, though..."
Well, he's seen plenty of times over what failure can look like for an operative. For the average Imperial that's more likely to be treated like a pawn in the Sith's games than an ally or even a fellow citizen striving for the same goals.
And, of course, a thread of it is seeing Nathema while Valkorian is still lurking around. It would've been bad enough to let his Cipher's mind run off with imagining the kind of possibilities that can come out of a place like the asylum on Nathema. It's a whole other to get even the barest taste of what lingers in the Force. Now, Tyr's not generally Force sensitive; Valkorian's presence gives him... a really shitty impression of it (both in... quality and his residual feelings after the fact lol), on occasion for the extent that the bastard is up there sharing his very crowded mind with him. It's prone to being overwhelming and unpredictable - often to the point of inducing things like migraines, due to Tyr's blatant lack of training on the subject, which is... only marginally improved by consulting with Sana-Rae and the Force Enclave over the course of the Alliance's lifespan. But I am delighted with the idea that even someone like him, without any training, without any true experience with the matter, was able to feel how wrong Vitiate's presence and interference was on Ziost. And now you put him on Nathema with at least a modicum of development on his understanding for that sense - and the whole place is permeated with the horrors of those walls. If it wasn't for Lana to corroborate some of the sensations, he'd probably be keen to brush it off on an overactive imagination - feeling like you can almost still hear the screaming.
The... familiar and not (something something, imagined it so much it feels like an old friend kind of thing) sense of desperation. The dread of recognition. It is, in short, the stuff of his nightmares. Darkest shadow and almost sickeningly scientific light. More numbers scrawled on notepads and etched into data sheets than names. A tool, a phenomena to be observed more than a person, or even a beast. Fight or flight. Does the choice matter in the end? Does it change the outcome? Or is the narrative already decided? Is he just prolonging the dance?
The nightmares induced by the alterations and fatigue of operating under the Castellan Restraints never entirely left him to begin with, but they'd... come and go in intensity over the years. Very rarely do they ever leave him screaming himself awake; he'd... rather not talk about it, after all - which would be markedly more difficult if more people knew just what it did to his sleep schedule over the years. He's used to startling himself, breath caught in his throat, a few restless hours spent til morning finally creeps in and its reasonable to be operating again. Vector's generally the only other that knows with any certainty exactly what troubles him, for the longest time. With Vector's keen senses, it's harder to hide from him than the rest of the crew and Vector's presence is... almost soothing. He's still someone Tyr can rely on, even when everything has tested his trust so thoroughly.
But Nathema sets everything off like a fireworks grand finale again. And makes it worse. It's all the worse for finding the... closest semblance to freedom he's ever had in his life in the Alliance. To grapple with the possibility of slipping back that far, that he's still susceptible, still just as vulnerable is terrifying. It doesn't swallow quietly like the weight he's carried for years. It's shifted that weight and until he gets a grapple with how that sits now, in the aftermath, it's... a rough couple of weeks, in particular, after the Nathema expedition. A wound that'll be agitated again until Vaylin's defeat, then again when Tenebrae's final fate is questioned once more.
Finally, that weight will resettle the way it did after Imperial Intelligence. He'll be able to swallow it again, wrestle with it quietly in the way he'll pace a room when there's too much on his mind, or the restless way his hands toy when he's idle in a meeting.
In a way, it's not what Nathema did to him, exactly. Though being just sensitive enough on that visit to feel the way death lingers on the planet, to feel that all whisper down his spine almost like a physical feeling and noise certainly doesn't help. It's... the implications of a lot of things that dredge up old wounds he never did and probably... never will completely recover from. It's the uncomfortable similarities.
And Tyr would do just about anything to avoid ever going back to being someone's leashed pawn. That's a lot of desperation. A lot of fear. Failure's not an option. Because it's a weight he knows he can't live with carrying twice.
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HEY
about that thingie with losing a loved one who doesn't stay as a ghost. how does it happen for issie and lana? (pls take this as a cue to drop every single juicy angst deet and more if you wanna :p)
Thanks @pentacass for the ask! Sorry it took me a bit to get this answered.
Now for the rabbit hole of angst since you asked! *(cracks knuckles)* So where to start...
For Isadola & Lana- Their bond grew stronger as time went by. When you take either half away from the other it leaves a void that the other can't stand, leaving them empty in a way. But if there was ever one out of the two them that wouldn't linger as a ghost I'd be Issie, for a variety of reasons beyond Isadola's connection to death (Sith Inquisitor AU Issie reference).
And Lana not having a reason why Issie doesn't linger for her would leave her trying to tear at the empty space for answers. Even during Isadola's stint in carbonite was too close to this for Lana's comfort. At the fringes of her senses Lana felt Isadola wasn't gone but the faint feelings of Issie's agony, despair, and pain being like wisps of smoke just beyond her reach, leaving her with a drive for answers of what happened- and a need she probably ignored of wanting to fill the void it left, beyond the wider issues growing in the galaxy during Isadola's absence.
That all assumes Issie dies in some natural form but not killed. But then that poses the question I've floated around myself of:
What would worse for the galaxy? Lana losing Issie, or Issie losing Lana? And to be honest I'm not sure. But I wouldn't guarantee that either would be good, if either had their bond forcefully severed and one being taken away from the other. Leaving the other empty and angry. Having that void in the force, the emptiness left behind by the other. I'd honestly worry about how far either of them would go.
And if any of this happened after they started their family would only make the overall issue worse. Lana having to try and cope with that void in the force that deprives her of the comfort she had gotten used to over the years. But also being reminded of Isadola whenever she'd see their 3 biological daughters, or even seeing a lot of Issie's personality in Orla too. Which would only make that emptiness worse.
Meanwhile Issie losing Lana would just send her off the deep end, the final straw. After losing nearly everything serving the galaxy she loses the love of her life would be a point of no return for her. As Theron got a very brief glimpse of when he shot Lana on the Umbaran train in the Nathema arc.
Okay- this rambled more than I intended, but hopefully some of this rambling was a decent answer lol. Honestly your short post about this same topic with Ves & Lana was probably 1000% better worded than this scatter brained response.
Regardless Thank you Thank you for the ask! I don't get many of them for Isadola or the Shir Legacy ^-^
#swtor asks#Lily rambles a bit#oc: isadola ardeen#lana beniko#I really need to write more fics of these two and maybe I'll be less scatter brained answering stuff like this lmao#the shir legacy
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[i don't mean this as hate to you, and i'm sorry if it feels as such, this is not my intention]
so you're saying that people should not be able to kill characters just because you personally don't want that option and its outcomes? should we really go back to class story plot armor bullshit when BW removed the option to kill malavai and beta players bitched about this bc he was the only healer comp? i don't think so. it was blatantly stupid.
almost every kill option is justified. it'd be hella weird if a dark v sith couldn't kill a person who crossed them or a person who know something and might let others know. it's like not giving a light sided character an option *not* to kill someone even if the person was redeemable/didn't deserve it/etc etc.
class companions not being involved at all is another story, and i agree wholeheartedly that it's dumb not to include them, especially since about ¾ are unkillable atm. there are some loved ones that almost everyone would love to see. or at least not very hated ones. i'm not even asking for all comps to be involved, that'd take a long time and might cause some backlash (because honestly, i think everything about this game causes some degree of backlash)
i think the devs currently don't have good resources and that's why the latest expansion was so... underwhelming. maybe even last several expansions. story problems are also probably a result of that.
sorry for the long rant, just wanted to express some thoughts
No. That's the opposite of what I'm saying. Players can kill everyone they like. I don't care. I just don't like their decisions making it impossible for me to enjoy the characters I kept alive. That's currently the case, because the game company is catering to they who slay, not me.
At the moment, SWTOR writers assume everyone who can be killed is dead. They are, as I said in the original post "playing to the most basic, barebones, lifeless possibility in the game." And they're writing around that presumption. They literally don't have enough characters still alive to carry the story.
What I'm saying is that the writers should create content that involves potentially dead characters, i.e., Theron, the Tiralls, Koth, people from Vanilla that are a kill choice, etc. If they fit the scenario, they should be written into it. If a player has chosen previously that critical characters are dead, then maybe they don't get "the full experience" of content compared to someone who did let those characters live.
Example: Me personally, I kill Vinn Atrius on every playthrough. Let's imagine that SWTOR decides to do a whole side quest about Vinn. I don't get that quest because I killed him. Instead I either get nothing or I get a quest about the fact I killed Vinn and now I have to deal with the grieving wife/husband/child/bantha/whatever who wants an explanation from me.
Example: People who dumped/exiled Theron after Nathema but let him live get the option to hook back up with him again. They and people who continued their relationship with him get a dating sim a few extra scenes between partners that move the overall story forward. They who killed Theron get nothing because, well, he's dead.
If you have a game that advertises that 'decisions have consequences', then guess what? Decisions should have consequences, like having some content locked out to them. Think of other Bioware games where, if you make a decision, certain people leave your party permanently. You don't get the spiffy content about that character if you made them leave.
Should SWTOR try to put out content with a range of characters to improve chances that everyone gets a little content? Sure. But if someone killed everyone, then they have to live with the consequences of that empty ship/war room.
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🍎and🍍
You didn't specify which OCs so! you're also gonna get three at random! (one is. Corrain. I have a Main Blorbo asdjkfhakjsdf)
🍍: Where does your OC feel most comfortable?
Corrain: Depends on when! Pre-Vitiate, he's most comfortable in the Jedi Temple on Tython, or running around Duke Organa's estate on Alderaan, where he served as a page while a Jedi youngling at the nearby enclave. Post-Vitiate, he's most comfortable on board his ship. And then post-KOTXX he's most comfortable in his quarters on Odessen - or alone on Nathema, watching it heal.
Kessin: They're most comfortable on their ship, in the captain's chair! Either that or on Nar Shaddaa, robbing people blind at the sabbacc tables.
Sekulyn: Also depends on when! Before Zash dies, they're most comfortable when riffling through her library, researching weird esoteric darkside rituals, or meditating at Kallig's tomb. After Zash dies, they're not comfortable anywhere, purposefully. And then after she ascends to the Dark Council, she's most comfortable once again meditating by Kallig's tomb, or in her vast library inherited from Thanaton and Zash.
🍎: Do they share any features or traits with any family members?
Corrain: Yes! He looks fairly similar - face shape, eye shape, cheeks and nose - to his mother. It's enough that the first time his uncle Eiri sees him, he has to do a double take. And like his mother and grandmother, who were both Scions of Zakuul, his connection to the Force manifests in vivid dreams and visions.
Kessin: Also yes! The coloring of their montrals was shared by their younger siblings and father, and their skin tone and eye color was inherited from their mother. They also got their stature from their mother - broad shouldered and tall. This more a source of pain for them than anything though - after all, they are the last surviving member of their family. They are also just barely Force Sensitive, like their siblings - not enough to be a Jedi, but just enough that their hunches often save their life
Sekulyn: Sort of. She looks very similar to her mother, but her capture and enslavement by the Sith Empire stunted her growth and made her much...sharper, than her family members. Furthermore, their strength in the Force is completely their own - there wasn't a single Force-sensitive person in their family before them.
Thanks for the ask, Anon bean!
*edited to fix a couple pronouns for Sekulyn for clarity's sake. They use she/they interchangeably, but I try to keep the same pronouns in the same sentence.
#swtor oc ask game#swtor oc ask#oc ask game#corrain#kessin#sekulyn#thank you for the ask!!!#i love chattering on about these lil guys#aslkjdfhakjsdfh
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i am living in hell (i read the revan novel)
as the old republic discord knows, for some godforsaken reason i decided i wanted to subject myself to karp's revan novel. it was... almost worth it for all the wrong reasons. if this thing was satire? i'd give it top marks.
unfortunately it's not satire, so i'm giving you people a very honest book review of the hot flaming dumpster that is Revan by Drew Karpyshyn. revan spoilers below, etc etc etc, also if you like the revan novel unironicallly this post is not for you in any way shape or form. if you, like me, have heard horror stories of the revan novel and want to know if it's worth it: this is your review.
(note: author shall henceforth be referred to as karp, karpy, or karpshit because i do not have enough respect to look up how to spell his name more than once. also because he deserves it.)
GENERAL OPINION:
on a standard scale of 1 to 5 stars, karp's revan gets a 1 in terms of genuine quality. on that same scale based on whether or not it entertained me, it's a solid 5. karp's writing is irredeemable, his pacing is complete garbage, and i'm not sure he's ever met an editor or a real woman in his life, and good god does it make for an entertaining book. it's a horrible addition to legends canon, but i laughed so hard i cried in multiple spots. no, he didn't intend this, but karp is not the one star wars author who has rights (shoutout to my boy Timothy Zahn) so he can shut up about it. it has some (some) almost redeemable qualities, introduces my favorite old republic character, and is mostly just generally bad in a "how did this get published" way. i'll be breaking it up into three categories to go over in more detail: actual decent parts, things that were so bad they actually entertained me, and genuinely bad parts that had zero redeeming factors. starting with the smallest, let's get started. the rest is below the cut because this is going to be a long post, sorry.
DECENT CONTENTS OF THE NOVEL:
not many, as a matter of fact. let's just get that out of the way first. now, karpy has no full rights as an author, but i will give him slivers of a right for his depiction of Nathema. Meetra Surik feeling as though the void was going to consume her, scatter her into atoms across the entire planet, was fascinating, and her enduring sensation of being hunted by something metaphysical was amazing. the way the entire planet made even sound and color feel devoid of any sort of emotion actually made me envision what Nathema was really like, and it gives a perspective even swtor doesn't. likewise, the bare bones of what karp was trying to convey about the emperor were excellent.
oh: also the introduction of Scourge. he is my beloved and everything about him is absolutely fascinating, karp just can't write.
another fraction of a right goes to the few lines karp spares for describing the way the mask turns Revan into a symbol. that... is exactly what the mask does and what the mask is. we've also got the bits where Canderous is reunited with Clan Ordo and relaxes for the first time in years - possibly since the war itself - and look, that made me feel things. it was a good reunion, and it's clear how much the Mandalorians value clan and family.
i will also say this. the depictions of multiple people getting hit with force lightning were viscerally realistic in a way that karp's writing never actually manages to be anywhere else. descriptions of searing pain, burning flesh, bubbling skin - they were good, genuinely good and actually horrifying. as far as good things go, though, that about concludes the list.
THINGS SO GENUINELY BAD THAT THEY WERE GOOD:
this is most of the novel right here. karpy's writing somehow consistently manages to come off with the sort of description one expects from a cheap romance novel, despite any actual romance being largely nausea-inducing. there are - my count may be incorrect - somewhere around eight or nine uses of the word primal, and exactly zero of them are good. also this is a screenshot from revan's pov that is somehow supposed to be read with a straight face and made the entire discord server laugh so hard they started crying. i am serious. karpshit published this. revan why does this read like you think scourge has a crush on you.
honorable mentions along a similar vein include the fact that every time revan and canderous interact, it reads like they're an old married couple. they were definitely flirting. they share a tent on rekkiad. revan gets bitchy about canderous sneaking out to visit his. wife? she was a person who sure existed, more on her in the next section. canderous kills his wife for revan. said wife tells him to choose between Clan Ordo and revan and he chooses revan! without hesitation!
scourge. just... every single one of his POVs. he's so unnecessarily dramatic, he has a weird fondness for force leaps, he's paranoid as all fuck and is fairly convinced that Everyone is trying to kill him. he lets himself get shot multiple times because his armor can absorb it. he plays 5d chess with himself every time he tries to figure out if something is a trap or not. he wants a seat on the dark council. he's dramatic, has this been mentioned? he keeps stabbing things because he's too annoyed with them. i genuinely think karp's bad writing enhances these chapters because the amount of times i started laughing aloud were unparalleled. take this, for example:
the writing is genuinely abysmal, and that's about the quality karpshit's fight scenes always come across as, but oh boy did it make me laugh. karp's attempts to write a Very Intimidating Sith just sort of ended up with... very much not that. such as the time he jumps over a three-meter fence and lands in what karp assures us is a three-point stance. i lost it. it's hysterical. this is a SITH LORD and his cape is described as billowing behind him as he jumps. he's so needlessly dramatic and it's ridiculously in character, from the constant complaints about rain in his first chapters to his on-sight desire to murder Sechel (that rivalry is also a highlight of the book. it's written so badly and it cracks me up every single time. the highly evolved skills of a true coward still makes me laugh. oh scourge at least you're in character here).
in an effort to not spend this entire section talking about scourge: the weird and hysterical double manipulation thing where Revan is trying to manipulate Scourge into letting him out and Scourge is trying to manipulate Revan into telling him things and they're both entirely aware of what the other one is doing but there's an incredible certainty that They Are The One In Control. it clearly wasn't meant to be funny, because karp takes himself too seriously, but it was hysterical. the return of scourge's mental 5d chess matches with himself and revan thinking... what he thinks in the first screenshot of this section. no one can read this with a straight face and i love it.
...i got very derailed there. in my defense, karp thinking scourge should be taken seriously is very very funny. but, in only tangentially scourge-related things, the fight with Vitiate! containing some of the absolute best lines in the book (in terms of humor, of course. not quality. what do you think this is, goodreads?) my personal favorite is this absolute gem that i don't have a screenshot of because i was too busy screaming about it to the discord:
"No!" Revan screamed from the ground as bits of his friend rained down on him in the form of unrecognizable shrapnel.
yes. this is about... T3. i am dead serious. karpshit decides to have T3 join the battle by shooting at Vitiate with his flamethrower. in retaliation, Vitiate unleashes the full power of the Dark Side on him. he explodes into thousands of little tiny pieces. the above line happens. i was laughing so hard i was legitimately crying. this is so fucking funny. the entire scene of the battle, revan just being turned into crème brûlée by force lightning... and poor little T3 goes out with a quite literal bang.
and now an aside as scourge commits some more murder and it is revealed literally as an offhand mention for the first time in the novel that scourge can use his lightsaber with his left hand as well as with his right. at this point i think karpshit was just throwing darts at the board to see what his latest skillset should be, but it's equally in character. and then comes my second favorite line from this section, a true gem of wit and humor:
Scourge hesitated before joining her, taking a moment to survey the situation, memories of his vision of their failure still fresh in his mind. What he saw was not good.
which, in this circumstance, means revan half-cooked behind his mask and T3 having been made into bestie confetti. yes, i think not good adequately describes this, wouldn't you agree?
and now, some honorable mentions of lines that made me wheeze because they were so utterly abysmal. from the beginning of the book, when scourge was (as per usual) killing some people:
Holding his lightsaber high above his head with both hands, Scourge charged the downed speeder.
i'm... karp are you certain you know how fights work? are you really sure? are you? and then there's the time he describes a three year old as having dark and brooding eyes.
(just read the book, the entire thing is written like this and i'd end up with another revan novel if i tried to copy everything that was this level of abysmally bad.)
and for the grand finale...
KARP PLEASE JUST STOP:
this here comprises basically everything he tries to do with the Force, every single line about, containing, or even remotely mentioning Bastila, basically Meetra's entire character, the name Vaner, Vaner's existence, Bastila somehow being attracted to this Revan, Meetra again, this particular flavor of heterosexuality, and karp's entire writing style. this is why the book is genuinely bad in bad ways as well as funny ones.
the writing style is self-explanatory, you've all seen the screenshots. he's mediocre at his best points, and utterly dull at the worst. unfortunately, karp's particular flavor of misogyny also seeps in. this becomes very evident with Bastila - but my least favorite part is when describing the rumored backstory of Vitiate, talking about what six-year-old Tenebrae did to his entire family.
for background: Tenebrae was a bastard, the son of a poor farmer and the lord of the entire planet, Lord Dramath. there were instances of similar things happening throughout our own medieval history, and they generally had a name: rape. it is incredibly unlikely that Tenebrae's mother was in any position to give consent to the Sith who ruled the entire planet, regardless of whether or not she was married. so naturally, when Tenebrae's adopted father, the woman's husband finds out (unnamed mother "confesses the affair"), he flies into a fit of rage and attacks her. Tenebrae subsequently snaps his neck. he is in fact still six years old. and then we are treated with the following line:
Tenebrae made her suffer for months as punishment for betraying the family, torturing her with the Force as he honed his powers.
yeah. not at all weird, gross, and misogynistic, karpshit, thanks for making me read this.
and it gets worse. not in Tenebrae's case, luckily, but with Bastila and Meetra. i won't go over the whole essays people have written about both their characterizations - suffice it to say they're equally bad, both used pretty much exclusively as props for Revan in various unappealing ways. but the worst part about how karp writes them is the jealousy. Bastila sees Meetra as some sort of threat to her and Revan; the worst offender is this passage from Bastila's first POV chapter.
(as a side note, the constant descriptions of both Alek and Meetra as Revan's underlings/subordinates really rubs me the wrong way and is not at all accurate, but that's another essay.)
the women are pitted against each other, with Meetra much later feeling jealous when Revan says i love you too to the holovid of his wife and three year old son because apparently the bond he shares with Bastila is much deeper than the one Meetra has with him. Bastila's entire character is reduced to the wife of Revan and the mother of his child, and Meetra is little better off. her entire death is over in the span of a sentence and a half, and her ghost is tied to Revan, literally giving him her life's energy so he can resist Vitiate. it's no surprise the outcry over this novel was strong.
because you all don't deserve to suffer through much more of this, the ending complaint is reserved for the clear lack of understanding karpy has for the Jedi Order and the Force itself. revan is described as using both light and dark - even though he's supposedly a Jedi, and the two sides of the Force cannot be used together for any sustained period of time. either you turn your back on the dark, or you fall. but no; revan's special breed of arrogance means he offers to teach his understanding of the Force to other Jedi, and sees the council as backwards and hidebound for refusing, never mind that he's married and with a child on the way. karp claims that Bastila was redeemed through Revan's love for her, that he was redeemed through love - and once again shows the issue that many writers have of conflating emotions and attachments. attachments are unhealthy, things you'd choose over the greater good and things that lead you to the dark side. emotions, including love and relationships, can and have been had in healthy ways by Jedi before. clearly not revan, but others. and this misunderstanding runs through the entire novel, making most of revan's POV chapters utterly insufferable (along with his arrogance and general existence as drew's self-insert mary sue).
CLOSING COMMENTS:
as with everything, you have to decide for yourself if this is worth it. the writing is bad in enjoyable ways, but there are swaths of the novel that i would gladly ignore if i ever did a reread (not that my self-loathing would be that bad, i don't think). the misogyny is a genuine problem, and karp is a very bad writer. on the other hand, you do get some lore and context for things, and scourge's pov chapters especially are. mostly funny in how bad they are, and sometimes actually leaning towards mediocre. i've laid some evidence on the table, so make of it as you will. and may the force be with you if you attempt this, because it sure wasn't with karpshit.
#kotor#kotor ii#swtor#darth revan#revan#lord scourge#bastila shan#jedi exile#revan novel hate tag <3#kinda sorta but it does give much scourge context#i'm so sorry exile you don't deserve this#who also does not deserve this#??? tumblr can you please function for once#this is star wars!#let me tag it#star wars#i mean that works i guess#but all of you need to see this anyway <3
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based on reactions to my last stronghold decor post:
-quick guide to not getting deco-swindled on the GTN-
always preview the decoration! the source is listed under the preview* and if it says, for example, 'source: industrial prefabs' that means you can buy/make the prefabs instead of paying an inflated price for the decoration itself. other things purchased for prefabs include cargo holds, guild banks, GTN terminals, mailboxes etc.
hovering over the item will also tell you if it comes from a reputation vendor and what faction. if it's dimmed you can't unlock it anyway, and if it's normal/lit up you can buy it directly from the rep vendor. onderon and BBA decorations are frequent culprits.
most event vendors hang out in the Cartel Bazaar on fleet when the event's not running! this includes all the swoop-race vendors, Jeelvic and the other rakghoul tunnel vendors, the gree representatives, etc.
anything* that doesn't have the cartel market symbol on the thumbnail can be picked up as loot or bought from a vendor. doesn't mean you shouldn't buy it off the GTN (after all, someone else went to the trouble of making prefabs, war supplies, or running the operation for those Bazaar Lanterns) but it may turn out to be something you can pick up easily yourself.
story/solo mode
Traitor Among the Chiss
The Nathema Conspiracy
Objective Meridian
Star Fortress
drop a deco off every boss! Copero/TAtC in particular also drops the 'Paper Lantern' decoration that is bind-on-pickup and can't be sold. nothing sourced from there is truly 'rare' compared to the older FPs and operations.
RESELLER ITEM-LIST OF SHAME UNDER THE CUT
*Rakata Palm
this decoration incorrectly displays a cartel market source even when it comes as a mission reward from the rakata prime flashpoint.
zakuulan armour stand/weapon displays
these also incorrectly displayed a CM source until very recently and now they say... source: alliance supply crate. also innaccurate-- they come from a vendor in the underworld logistics section of your base on odessen.
Makeb Pergola
looks extremely fancy but it's sold in the strongholds section of the fleet for 25k, along with a bunch of other basic and faction-specific decorations (imp vendor sells imp banners/soldiers/etc. republic sells republic)
Onderon reputation decor
requires reputation to unlock/use and you need to have completed onslaught, but they can be bought for no special currency.
Mek-Sha shady furniture
requires completion of onslaught and a small quest chain but no reputation and thus isn't clearly marked. by all means feel free to purchase this stuff if you're not caught up! but bear in mind that they're 75k apiece and side-eye anyone listing them for 5mil accordingly.
Life-Day trees
there's a CM version of these that can be sold, but throwing snowballs at overheated droids during the life-day event gives them as mission rewards in your choice of colour.
Manaan Fern
available at the vendor who hangs out on manaan (along with some cool swords people ALSO sell overpriced)-- costs that 'manaan research data' which is easy to pick up by running the flashpoint in any capacity.
anyhow i’m not judging anyone for selling their decos off at steep prices as i certainly do myself-- but IMO there’s a big difference between putting up trophies/endgame stuff vs. counting on folks not to know what comes from where, especially since the people most likely to fall for that are gonna be the ones trying to decorate their very first houses. now if you’ll excuse me, i’m off to put up another Shade of Malgus for 30mil. happy decorating!
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Fictober ‘21, Day 1
Prompt number: 1. "I need you."
Fandom: Star Wars: the Old Republic
Rating: PG
Warnings/Tags: angsty post-traitor arc angst
—
25ATC, Odessen. Immediately post-Nathema and a day or two after The Chat
“I think that covers everything, Commander,” Admiral Aygo said before gesturing to Hylo. “Was there anything else?”
Sanna. Theron’s voice, crackling and warped, whispered in the back of her mind. How was he doing that? Their bond was still broken and— I need you.
Panic surged as phantom pain seared through her torso, surprise ripping a gasp from her lips. It felt distanced, muffled somehow, but—
“Commander?”
“I...” she hesitated, feeling everyone’s concerned gaze on her. Another spike of pain and her mind was made up: “Excuse me, I need to go. My apologies.”
“Probably some hand-wavey Force nonsense. I know my reporting isn’t as dull as Doctor Hutt’s,” Hylo muttered as she strode away.
Moments later, Vassanna slipped into her quarters.
“Theron?” Her voice echoed in the empty living room, one small lamp casting dim light around the sofa. She moved quickly to the bedroom and—there. He lay motionless on the bed, his breathing slow and shallow, eyes squeezed shut and hands clenched into fists.
“Theron? What’s wrong?” She made her way to the side of the bed, her concern muddied by more emotions than she would let herself name.
“You’re here... thank the stars, I can’t—” He broke off with a hiss, followed by another slow breath. “I need to take my pain meds but moving— augh. Ow,” Theron finished with a whimper and stilled.
“Oh! Of course,” she said, jolting into action as though stuck by a pin at that whimper. “Give me just a moment.”
“Not going anywhere, San,” he mumbled as she grabbed a mug and filled it with water from the ‘fresher sink. The bottle of pain medication was hard to miss: it sat at the far edge of the nightstand, just out of arm’s reach.
Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, she offered her hand without thinking. “Here, let me help you sit up.”
His hand slipped into hers and she froze: it was as though nothing had changed, and yet... and yet everything had changed.
Sanna dragged a deep breath into her lungs, setting aside and compartmentalizing whatever strange mix of emotions was playing havoc with her breathing, and gently pulled Theron to sitting. Silence fell again as she shook the correct dosage out into her palm and administered the medicine as clinically and detached as possible, but his warm breath on her hands dredged up so many memories.
Her favorite one swirled to the surface: his lips soft on her palm as he glanced up, eyes twinkling with mirth, a smirk tugging on the corner of his mouth.
Oh stars, she couldn't do this, it was too much. Too much. How could he?
Theron's pained groan as he fell back to the bed snapped her out of those memories, thank the Force.
“How long until those kick in?” she asked hesitantly.
“Fifteen, twenty minutes, give or take.”
“Can I give you a pain stim to tide you over until then? Or will the medicines interact poorly?”
“Yeah,” he gasped. “In the drawer.”
Let him suffer, a harsh, bitter thought snarled in the back of her mind. After what he did to you, he deserves all this pain and more.
Vitiate was long gone, thank the stars; this voice was her own. It came from a place of despair, lashing out to keep from hurting again, and while she understood it, that didn’t mean she liked it.
Closing her eyes, Vassanna brought her focus back to the here and now, doing her best to quiet the caustic voice. Before she could argue with herself further, she found the appropriate stim in the drawer and gently jabbed Theron with it, watching as he visibly relaxed a few short moments later.
Let him suffer. Let him suffer. Let him suffer. Let him—
“Sanna? You okay?” Theron’s question dragged her back to her—no, their—room.
“I’m fine, thank you.”
The small furrow between his brows spoke volumes: he didn’t believe her for a second but debated whether he wanted to argue the point.
Apparently, he decided it was worth pushing his already tenuous luck.
“Look, I know you didn’t have to help me just now,” he said, “and to be honest, I was surprised you did—pleasantly so. Thank you.” His mouth opened and closed as he searched for the words he wanted. Was he just spinning another story for her?
“I know you’re angry at me,” he continued, “and I certainly deserve that. I’m sorry for putting you in this position: making you help me when you probably should just let me suffer.”
What? How could he know that she’d—
“No, I can’t read your mind.” Theron gave her a sad smile. “I can read your face, though. Without that Jedi mask of yours,” he gestured in a circle towards her head, “you’re an open book. To me, at least.”
Silence fell heavy between them. What could she say to that? She had thought they’d known each other so well, only to learn the hard way that he could lie to her until he was blue in the face and she would never know it.
Stars, she was an idiot. Heat pricked at the corner of her eyes and she blinked it away.
“I’m sorry,” Theron whispered, breaking the quiet.
Taking a deep breath, she swallowed the lump forming in her throat: she had no time for tears. “Are you feeling better now?”
“Yeah, thanks... are you staying?”
Sanna shook her head. “I was in a meeting.” And probably owed Hylo an apology for walking out mid-report.
“Oh,” he said. “Right, of course.” He plastered a smile on his face, but couldn’t completely hide his crestfallen expression. “Don’t let me keep you, Commander.”
#knitter writes#fictober21#I KNOW!!! I'M AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE!!!#*insert 'it ain't much but it's honest work' meme here*#swtor fanfiction#OTP: Chips & Guac#I haven't written in such a long time and I feel very VERY rusty#but angst? I've still got it!#XD#Vassanna/Theron#oc: Vassanna#Theron Shan#dorks
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For various reasons I feel like I need to change Viri's standard post-Nathema armor, which is Freedon Nadd dyed blue. She still has her angel wings - two sets, dyed differently - but she's had that armor since her Wrath days. I found one I liked that of course was laughably expensive on the GTN, but also figured out I could make this different set with Ikina in Synthweaving.
What I like is that this has wings - but they look rather burned, and they seem to be actually sprouting from her body. This is not the armor of a fresh-faced Viri. This is the armor for a Viri who has Seen Some Shit and survived Zildrog's full power going through her. Lana's belt is still there because all this trauma and experience have not dimmed her love or compassion - in fact it's all magnified and solidified those things. All the same, she is now someone who has faced death so many times and so intimately that it's now part of her.
Oh and headcanon-wise she's also absorbed the ability to throw the Dread Masters' fear projections by defeating the twin gods on Oricon, so she's really going to be fun at parties.
It goes along with the purple and black core lightsaber crystal she now wields. In my headcanon, the black cores show up for those who have faced death in this way (and do NOT think for a moment I'm entertaining that sequel "bleeding crystals" crap, I don't accept that).
I think that there are those who would step back if Viri walked into the room with this - and they really should.
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SWTORpadawan Writes - 2021: A Year In Review
2021 - for all its ups and downs for me - was a good year for my creative output. If I'm trusting my statistics, I turned out more posted works than any previous year.
Now part of this was no doubt due to the fact that I was *ahem* under-employed for much of the year. But regardless, I do feel a sense of accomplishment.
Here's a list:
Fun (Chapter Two of Monsters and Masks, featuring Ozibaumnu from the Nas Legacy. This was difficult to write, but I was pleased with the result with the perspective of Ashara Zavros.)
Silent Fury (A stand-alone fic featuring Deviah Sarnova from the Sarnova Legacy)
Beautiful (A stand-alone fic featuring Kayeh Antilles from the Green Legacy)
Alone Finally (Chapter Nine of Awakenings, featuring Kira Carsen's reunion with Corellan Halcyon of my Halcyon Legacy. A flash-forward fic featuring Kira and Corellan enjoying some 'alone' time.)
An Intriguing Assessment (Chapter Seven of The Heroes of Tython, featuring a letter from Satele Shan to Corellan and his crew)
Backup (Chapter Ten of Kira Carsen and the Hero of Tython, a completely out-of-order covering Corellan's relationship with Kira prior to the the Five Year Gap. This chapter stars Jonas Balkar and Theron Shan.)
Acclimation (Chapter Ten of Awakenings. Kira works hard to earn a place for herself in the Alliance.)
No Little Girl (A stand-alone fic featuring Rhi'khi from the Legacy of the same name as she confronts Vaylin on Nathema)
Secret Messages
(Chapter Five of Tales of the Eternal Alliance, featuring Vette learning their might be more to the Alliance Commander than he lets on.)
Limits (Chapter Twelve of Kira Carsen and the Hero of Tython. This chapter shows how Kira and Corellan they deal with conflict.)
Ashes (Chapter Six of Tales of the Eternal Alliance, featuring Bas'riish from the Halcyon Legacy as she reunites with Risha Drayen)
We Have Time (Chapter Thirteen of Kira Carsen and the Hero of Tython. Our duo makes their own 'private time'.)
The Only Ones Who Can (Chapter Eight of The Heroes of Tython, where Corellan meets with @chaosandwonder 's lovely Hiraya Manawari!)
Apologies (Chapter Eleven of Awakenings, where Lana Beniko talks to Corellan after Kira joins the Alliance. I was proud of this one because of how long it was in my WIP Journal.)
I Know You're Alive (Chapter Twelve of Awakenings. AU where Kira is the Outlander and Corellan is trying to find her.)
Ten More Minutes (Chapter Thirteen of Awakenings. Kira keeps Corellan from getting to work one morning.)
Pieces (A stand-alone fic featuring Nas'ash'dia from the Nas Legacy as she looks back on her life thus far)
Opportunity (Chapter One of Legends of the Force, featuring OCs in my Halcyon Legacy. This story covers a little talk between Kael Nosrol Krannus and his apprentice, Jaesa Willsaam)
Training Day (Chapter One of In the Shadow of the Hero, featuring Padawan Tyzen Pyne from my Halcyon Legacy)
The Fall (Chapter One of Shadow Games, a story in the Halcyon Legacy featuring an unnamed OC. This chapter was fun as the POV was Malgus)
Mysterious Ways (Chapter Seven of Tales of the Eternal Alliance, featuring Bas'riish from the Halcyon Legacy as she and Guss fight on Odessen)
Touched (Chapter Three of Monsters and Masks, featuring Ozibaumnu from the Nas Legacy)
A Hero's Reward (An AU Fic where Bas'riish of the Halcyon Legacy invades @taraum 's world... and targets Daesha for her wiles)
You Don’t Want To Know (Chapter Two of Legends of the Force. This story covers Ashara Zavros as she learns some new things about her mentor, Zu'fanda Pampya)
Old Partners drops on Monday. It will be Chapter Eight of Tales of the Eternal Alliance, and will star an NPC who barely appears in the game, but who struck my fancy. I hope you all give it a look!
I also wrote two more pieces --- It's Good To Be The Empress and Immersion --- that I showed only a handful of people. I won't ever post them to Tumblr. But if I ever do a Patreon....
Still - overall, a solid year.
Hope 2022 goes okay!
Thanks for reading!
- SWTORpadawan
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#YEEEESSSS#I love the idea that he found her holocron on tython!#and that he was drawn to it without even knowing why#(and maybe it helped him find a little peace even though he didn't realize it 👀👀👀 that seems like an endrali thing to do)#and SMOOCHES YES#they both deserve all the smooches#they are so sweet 💖💖#I also see you share my headcanon that arcann is very good at fixing/tinkering with things#trained to forge his own armor + lightsaber + cybernetic arm + a side of trust issues and/or social anxiety = tinkering hobby (haledamage)
:D :D :D I’ve headcanoned about Arcann finding her holocron since... not long after deciding she was gonna romance him, actually. I love the Consular’s Rishi quest(it’s probably my fave), and being able to tie it back into her story so far down the road makes me so happy. Doing it by having Arcann find Endrali’s holocron, and then hold on to it even though it’s broken, was just the cherry on top. ^^ Her holocron did help him find peace--Tython in general does that, but the holocron gives it a nice boost--bc that is a very Endrali thing to do. Arcann’s felt it, others have felt it; she radiates peace. It only makes sense her holocron would, too.
After writing three pre-relationship pieces, I had to set this one after they’re together. 🥰 (I’d put it post-Nathema Conspiracy but pre-Ossus) They do deserve some smooches. (I have another one 3/4 done that’s also with them together :3 before we return to the build-up)
Yes, absolutely, I feel like Arcann’s good with his hands in general, but with the comments about being trained to craft his own armor etc, I definitely see tinkering as a big hobby for him.
#endrali/arcann#i am planning to tag ramble on fwiw i swear#i just keep having too many emotions and going to lajsbfjasbfsjlbd when i try xD
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Time to go Full Gravedrog
Hey guys. You know what we haven’t done in a while? That’s right! Put on our tinfoil hats, get tangled up in an entire spool of red string, and do a ridiculous deep dive on lore and make up wild insane theories about the upcoming story drop!
That’s right we’ve got some--
First up. If you haven’t watched it already, here’s the trailer for the 6.2 story drop, specifically for the storyline we’ll be doing our deep dive on, Echoes of Oblivion.
youtube
Are you pumped? I’M PUMPED. Let’s do this!
Okay, so there’s a lot to unpack here, and I’m going to state outright, that the chances of this being on the money like Gravedrog is... well. I’ve got no lottery numbers for you this time around. I can’t believe no one took me up on that offer. There’s always the possibility the storyline has absolutely nothing to do with any previously established lore, and they create something wholly new. And hey, if that’s the case, this is just free fanfic fodder for the masses.
But Charles did mention, I believe on the forums(?), that he’s seen one person guess what’s going on. The real question is... WHO GUESSED IT. HMM.
So I’ve been wanting to actually do a post on this a while, at least since Arcann’s voice actor accidentally made the slip up about Thexan being in this story drop. A large part of this theory/discovery goes to the lovely @confettininjabean, who found this piece of lore when we were getting tangled up in red string back in the Gravedrog days, pre-Nathema Conspiracy. Let’s just say, there was a... certain interaction on Twitter that had us thinking this had something to do with NC, and when it didn’t pan out we were like “Oh, weird, guess that wasn’t on the right track” and forgot about it.
Well, sort of. Because we were like, “that really seemed significant considering”, but hey, sometimes you hit upon a Gravedrog, sometimes you think Indo Zal is an evil mastermind playing 4D chess. In other words, when it comes to red string theories, you win some. You lose some.
Anyway. I forget why, but I went perusing on Wookieepedia a few months ago, looking back up this sort of obscure piece of lore for some reason. And something about it was.... FAMILIAR.
The article in question: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Thought_bomb
May I direct your attention, to this part:
Hey. Where have I heard that before?
Aw. Aw shit. Well I mean, that can’t be right though, right? Because it’s Satele and a bunch of Jedi/like-minded Force users that are being possessed right? And besides this is an an ancient Sith ritual thought to be created by...
Oh.
Oh wait.
But that’s a plague right? Not the same thing as a thought bomb. I mean it’s not like anyone in SWTOR has dealt with a Force plague--
Oh. huh. But you might say, “But Grey, that plague was invented by Terrak Morrhage, not Vitiate.” And you would be right! What I can’t seem to find confirmation of, thus far, is exactly when Terrak Morrhage lived, but by me and Jayde’s current reckoning, it seems like he may have been around possibly during the Great Hyperspace War, the end of which Vitiate used in his mad grab for immortality and power, manipulating what was probably a majority of the remaining Sith Lords into his brand spanking new ritual that he just needed a little help with.
Okay, and this is where we leave lore land, and enter into speculation land. I, um, just got sidetracked on Jedipedia (I’ll get to that), trying to find a codex entry regarding Vitiate I know I’ve read but I lost at some point. So, we’re going off memory here, but I’m fairly certain it’s stated in canon somewhere that prior to his ascension, Vitiate was obsessed with Sith alchemy and ancient Sith rituals. So if Morrhage pre-dated him, or was a peer, it’s possible Vitiate was able to learn about his plague, and adapt it to some of his other experiments.
Okay, back to the thought bomb for a moment. Full disclosure, I haven’t read the Darth Bane novels, so I’m going off of Wookiepeedia here instead of the source material (which is always a dicey affair), it says Bane adapted the thought bomb from notes on the ritual Vitiate performed. So, it’s possible the thought bomb is not a 100% Vitiate original, just a bastardization of it. But it’s interesting that the ritual itself gathers up and shreds the Force essence/soul of everyone in its path. Well, I mean, horrifying. But in this theory’s perspective, interesting in that when Vitiate used Zildrog as part of his ritual--where did all of the Force go exactly?
Because as you wander around Nathema, you hear the tortured whispers of every soul obliterated during that ritual.
This is talked about a little in the Revan novel, and it’s been a few years since I read it so I’m kind of going off memory again, but he basically created a void in the Force there. And remember... in the KOTET chapter we went to Nathema, he was actually visibly afraid a few times. Hmm... now why would that be? Was it Vaylin he was afraid of? Was it something else?
If memory serves, there wasn’t an actual explosion like as described with the thought bomb--because he wasn’t using the ritual as a weapon. He was using it to gather power, to shuffle off this mortal coil and live eternal as an annoying spirit who you just can’t quite squash out no matter how many mind mazes you build to keep him locked up. So, and again, this is speculation land, but all of that swirling Force and dead energy had to go somewhere right? I mean, Zildrog had his snack and went omnomnom, but where did the Force power go? And why was there a Void that constantly pulled at him and sapped away his power on Nathema?
Is it because the Force didn’t explode? Is it because he bound it up in his old disgusting decaying old man flesh? And the only reason he was alive because he basically made himself a little flesh horcrux that was destroyed at the exact moment we sent him off to the Void that he feared so much?
Hmm. Interesting.
Wait. Wait a second... I think there was something else he mentioned. Now, what was it?
You know, I had always assumed he was talking about Gravedrog being unleashed, since the whole reason he went to Zakuul was likely to find the Gravestone so he could pair it with Zildrog back on Nathema, and enact his galaxy-wide extinction event.
And maybe he was.
Or was he talking about his failsafe.
The one he knew would happen if someone destroyed his old, withered, icky body?
So... if the ritual/plague is some take on the thought bomb, and it infects any Force user like some prescient, who could have realized this is what 2020 held in store for us pandemic that spread rapidly and consumed everyone who touched it, until it made manifest what was once just thought...
Is the whole entire point of this to bring Valky back from the dead? Or is it just his last revenge? And what on earth would that last revenge be? Well... and just hear me out. Say there was this guy. Kind of an asshole. And he had this whole schtick about killing every single living thing in the galaxy and liked to consume whole planets in a single gulp just for funsies. Wouldn’t it be so funny if he, say, in the unlikely event he possessed some Outlander who happened to go “get out and get a job loser!” and booted him off to the beyond, and at the same time his old indentured servant and that chick he once possessed found his horcrux and destroyed that, wouldn’t it be a kick if that somehow kicked off a plague that consumed every single Force user in the entire galaxy until it had enough power and then exploded and completely wiped out all life in the galaxy, so that if the asshole who’s name totally isn’t Valkorion couldn’t live forever then neither could any. single. thing. in. the. galaxy.
I mean, that or it’s just a ploy to get him into one final boss fight.
But i dunno... I kind of just found the entire cast list of who’s in the Echoes of Oblivion storyline (warning, major spoilers and datamining on that link, and yes, that’s what distracted me on Jedipedia) and I’m kind of thinking. Having to keep the entire galaxy from being consumed by a sociopath’s final revenge kind of sounds like a pretty epic finale, don’t you?
And hey, if not. Free fanfic idea for anyone who wants it.
Oh yeah, also predicting the following:
We’re going on another mindscape adventure like in KOTET Chapter 9, but it’s Satele’s mind we’re in
It’s not actually Valkorion/Vitiate/Tenebrae, but a remnant/essence of him that’s made manifest by the ritual. Also he needs a combo nickname because I’m tired of having to pick one of three names. I shall call you Valkiatebrae. It’s a beautiful name. I know he’ll love it.
Vaylin and Thexan who we see in the trailer are probably also manifestations conjured by the quasi- Valkiatebrae
We’re going to Ossus? Or Ossus in Satele’s mind?
The Knight and crew missed a few of the death cult back in the storyline, and that’s who was either watching Tenebrae’s body, or who hijacked Satele’s ship OR they have some part in the ritual (perhaps the part to physically manifest Valkiatebrae). We see them in the trailer above.
Regardless if any single one of these predictions is right I’m going to die of feels
Because I think Satele and Theron may have a scene together????? OMG
I’m screaming again
I’ll stop now
I’m sorry Charles I hope I didn’t do it to you again I couldn’t help myself, but hey at least I kept it in this long
EDITED TO ADD: Okay guys, I’ve been looking more at Jedipedia. I think I can safely hazard a guess that a LOT of fans of different characters are going to be super happy with this update. Just saying.
#the return of spoilers grey#swtor spoilers#spoilers and speculation#swtor 6.2 spoilers#swtor 6.2#honestly there's a lot more#but i've been thinking about this for so long#i know i've forgotten to include half of it#and i haven't had time to find all of my source#but here you go guys!#one last hurrah#and i even found a way to shoehorn gravedrog in there for you!
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The Lana Shipping Meme!
This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬
I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3
Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.
Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?
Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D
Do they make jokes together?
Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:
Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea
Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised
Saarai: Why didn’t you say something?
Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this?
Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more....
Lana: Good. I still love you, though.
Saarai: :’D
Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you?
Saarai: Yeah, probably.
as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P
Who’s hornier? (who initiates)
Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk
Kinkiest they’ve been?
Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla
There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏
Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?
In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.
Favorite non sexual downtime activity?
Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.
Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?
So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3
Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?
In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.
Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.
Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏
Lana was mortified, to say the least XD
That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?
Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;
Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.
The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?
There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one
1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)
2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!”
Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢
How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)
For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.
For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD
Do they have kids?
Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD
What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?
I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :(
But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D
House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?
Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3
Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?
They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.
Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?
They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)
But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, “okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D
Class Specific things that play into their relationship?
Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D
When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.
Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)
Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?
"Kriff. Koth, what happened?”
Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”
That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.
Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do
Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”
Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao
Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?
Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD
Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.
Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?
Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)
When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜
Story that is prominent in their relationship?
I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq
I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii.
Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3
#swtor#lana romance meme#subterfugeverse#mildly n/sfw#swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai#ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend#saarai/lana#since this is a lana meme i'm not gonna throw this in koth's tag but i will put it in their shipping tag for this blog#also yes lana/anri is going to be an eventual thing in subterfugeverse; even if i haven't worked out the specifics of *how* yet#because i'm sorry but there is *WAY* too much subtext in that lana/anri interaction and my dumbass polyam brain went ''hehehehehe :'3''#so GODDAMN IT I AM GOING TO USE IT lol#bioware can pry this ship from my cold dead fingers#watch me i'll turn the alliance into one big fucking polycule if you let me /lh#some of these i haven't gotten to plan out solidly yet so i had to think on the spot#and as such the specifics might be subject to change as we *GET* to those parts in the actual fic ''canon''#but for now here ya go ;D#long post
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