My part of an art trade I did with @bloomynmoon!

From what I remember mako has already met many important characters including 2 future strawhats and a powerful straw hat ally.

Assuming that not too much changes by the time the main story starts. How would these Chracters see mako as meeting her again. Like say meeting a grown up sanji and Law along with th baroque work robin? For me I would at least think sanji and law would be like big brothers to her.

Also any spoilers on who her dad is? Or who mako would be shipped with?

Not much is really different, just that Mako has been alive and in existence for like one more year, making her a year older than what she was originally, but it's also a bit of a mess since like, idk how to tell you, but Shanks is like barely 21 when he has Mako instead of 22, so oop, some things might end up changing, but also god dang, Yassop, you barely knew your own son and now you're just taking care of this rando Shark girl with the others ahahha.

No but seriously, this just means the Red Hair Pirates have Mako longer and that means further disaster because Yassop Daddy experience only goes for like a few months and Mako is half fishman, SO WHOOPS NEW TERRITORY.

So yeah, Robin and Sanji would be ecstatic to see her again, especially since the two of them went their separate ways to pursue their dreams, since Sanji won't get good experience as a cook with Shanks, and Robin, while absolutely delighted to know she is loved and considered important, knows that she has to leave the nest because she can't do what she wants with them and try as they may, they can't help coddling her a bit because Robin mcfucking did not have a good childhood, cmere, you get a hug.

Meanwhile Law would just be happy to see his friend again after so long, to the one person that taught him, alongside Robin, that even monsters deserve to live.

Seeing her thriving and also throwing a wrench in the world government's agenda by just casual exposing cover-ups in order to let the truth shine through....yeah, he’s happy to see her. Genuinely, no joke or nothing. Especially Robin and Sanji, though how the turn tables. He would've thought Mako would've been her own captain to a crew, but nah, she's content letting Luffy do it while being the resident lifeguard cuz she can swim. And also fish. :V

Her dad isn't actually anyone we know but an OC, like a rando mako shark fishman who effectively got picked out of the bunch to pair up with a Kuja Pirate who wasn't exactly considered a good wife for a Celestial Dragon (aka, dude was sterile, or at the very least got poor kid making skills), so curiosity plus pettiness and a bet equals Mako into the mix. Which is very bad.

That said, Mako's bio dad is related to some existing characters. And I will say this, Arlong won't exactly take to well to ever seeing her, because she serves as a constant reminder in a cog to a tragedy.

(Hint: it involves Koala going home - you can figure it out there, but yeah, Mako's uncle is pretty famous :V)

(He also had a hand in how Mako's mother was able to escape and while Mama was hoping to go back to Amazon Lily, she at least was in a safe place amongst Shanks crew when she gave birth to Mako)

Originally, i didn't have romance in mind, but honestly, I'm at a whatever happens, happens, because Mako's circumstances are so unique and complicated, that her situation allows her complexity, given how 17 seems to be the age at which people are considered adults or at least allowed to drink, and being a pirate just adds to it, mixed in with being someone who has a bounty.

Romance isn't off the table for her, so keep an eye out for it. Dont expect anytjing until after the time skip tho, she’s a little like Luffy in that it's the last thing on her mind lmao.

But also she's got a storm coming her way come Whole Cake Island because Big Mom wants Shanks's daughter for connections so...

Lucky son Katakuri got picked by my friends, so that's gonna be a "bruh wtf"

Aka, we got two weddings to crash. Except Mako isn't getting killed, but she still wants out of it, nope nope nope

Anyways wedding dress mako kicking ass. :V

Omg hey winter how are you?? Really appreciate your readings about Yuji, helps me distract myself from what’s happening in the anime 😭 💕

Why do I always feel that growing up Sukuna was the sibling who went to jail and Yuji grew up to be the golden child? When the reunited it was a mess with their parents but yk they still love each other 🤞

Aww hey babe 💗💗 How have you been? I'm so exhausted atm, but trying to stay awake so I can play my otome game. It makes me so happy that my Yuuji stories give you comfort 💗💗

Ahahha yesss I love to imagine Sukuna as the rebel who cannot accept any authority and feels compelled to break every rule. He is pretty tragic actually and I feel very soft for him. It makes me want to love him even harder :( And I love love love to think that the brothers have a very deep love for each other. Yuuji sees the real Sukuna, he sees Sukuna's heart and that is a very rare thing.

Will- oh-WIPs!

I think I'm going to start this weekly (or monthly) post to boost my confidence. (and convince myself that my WIPs do go forward) Order is important it's priority list.

Burning Roof - Chapter 115 is being beta-read. Chapter 120 is being written - Page 2/10 It's the most important part of this arc and I can't mess this up or it will fuck one character's arc for the rest of the story (pressure? nah)

Just a Drop - Chapter 30 Bonus - Finished - 20 pages in total - JGY's scar missing plot point dealt with LXC, a tiny bit with NMJ + MXY's secret boyfriend reveal. Waiting second reading from me + beta-reading eventually. I'm so happy I finished this, I was stuck on it for so long because the smut part blocks me (there's no smut, I chicken out, and followed my dear beta's advices and it works)

Jiaoren - Chapter 7 - Page 1/10 - Xiyao AU where MY is a Jiaoren in Sunshot and Jiaoren's flesh can grant immortality if given willingly. Unstuck myself last month on this Xiyao + wangxian story. It was supposed to be a short story it's not going to be that. I'm not surprised :c

Ghost story - At Page 42 - Xiyao + 3zun dynamic fix it supposed OS that is (surprise) not going to be an OS, I was stuck because I started it after a dream and I had 0 plot. Currently scripting and plotting it with the help of my beta to whom I finally asked for help. I have the start + the end but still figuring out the middle and how-to-get-to-the-climax part (the most difficult one for me)

Heaven official - Xiyao where JGY ascended at the end of MDZS. Went wild on twitter a few days ago with the idea, scripted this completely, wrote the prologue of 1 page and half. Ahahha. Fortunately Shiome made an awesome art of the core idea so accidentally my brain is fed, let's see how long it holds until it comes back scratching and hissing.

9 months - Scripted completely !! Now time to write the first page. Still figuring out the first line.

Freaky Friday MDZS version - Serie of OS where sibs characters of the serie swap place to fix canon. Vaguely scripted. I wrote 1 and half page of a prologue and now I'm chapter 1 with the first word JIN ZIXUAN and that's it. I know next scene is JZXuan pov waking up at the Yunping brothel at the age of 8. But brain wants to draw it not write it.

Cultivator.exe - Chapter 2 - Page 10/10 - Brain is like : no plot, only slice of life, and body is like : no plot, no progress.

KittYao - Chapter 2 Page 5/10 - Self explanatory title? JGY wakes up as a cat because of XY. No script only vague plot. Brain wants to draw it, not write.

Nice to meet you - Chapter 6 / 44 pages in total - I have to rewrite this in omniscient pov, I decided. I do not know how to write omniscient pov, brain replied. Then we're stuck, we said. what about drawing it, wouldn't that be omniscient pov by default? Brain whispered, we never tried a WEBCOMIC format, maybe it will be fun! Lazy ass who knows how much work a comic is not listening.

Take Care - Wrote a bonus chapter about Maho's feeling toward Satoru that is around 20 pages, decided I didn't like that but I like what I wrote and now I don't know where my characters are at so we're all stuck. Next chapter is 20 pages long and far from over and I'm tired. I walkway get stuck every 20 pages that' why Home format is better it's 10 pages chapter so I get comment boosted. Waiting to see if BNHA's end will give me a fan boost to come back. If not, I will write an alternative end and wrap Take care at Satoru and Mahô getting to UA and todomomo getting a positive pregnant test.

Novel number 1 - 5irth - Have to re-read and re-write the first part then publish it on KDP eventually after maquetting it. I hate re-writing + I have to re-write in French and I'm scared I lost my level.

Novel number 2 - Constellations - Stuck with one character's power in one book, stuck with the plot in the other book. It's in French too. Brain wants to draw it/turns it into a webcomic. I hate that loop.

If you want information about any of this WIP or a tiny sample of it, feel free to send a request/ask here. I don't have a life anyways, I've got things to write instead.

Yes it's too many WIPs, I know. But I have an explanation for that : it's hard to live with my brain. It stays rent free inside my head and I can't get it out.

AWE YEAH ITS SSSSO SILLy!

I was new to my school last year, and from the moment I showed up, he hated me. He immediately asked me what I played, and when I told him both alto and bari sax, he got mad, and said "ugh, why can't you play trombone?!"

I don't like tooting my own horn, but I am a good player. I started playing in 6th grade, made my county's honor band in 7th grade, got straight superiors on my groups ensemble for the solo and ensemble thingy majig in 7th grade, and was too scared to do ANYTHING in 8th, which is the year I had him. I know what I'm doing when I'm given my instrument, and I am an advanced player. I know that, but I hate saying it.

I told him all of this. I prepared a piece of music to play for him and show him my skill set. I wanted us to have a decent relationship, as music is so very important in my life. I wanted the harder parts of the music.

I was picked on by my bandmates for that piece, coz some little dirt bag kid questioned my abilities...ON MY FIRST DAY, and I layed into him. The whole class laughed. It sucked.

He took the prepared music and mocked me for it, joking about how "oh no, pansy isn't here, guess SHE can't play it for us." He would call me out in front of the class for messing up on something. He knew the other band members would pick on me and mock me for my style, and my hair, and and and. He saw it happen. He never did a thing.

I would play something perfectly for him? He'd roll his eyes and move on to his favorite students, and praise them for their every move. He pulled me aside once, and told me to not be so...distracting when I play.

When I play, the music takes hold of me. I sway with it. On crescendos, I rise a bit to help show shaping. I dance when I play.

I wasn't allowed to do that.

My music felt dull, and lifeless.

My current band teacher couldn't be any more different! He is wonderful! He has told me PERSONALLY, multiple times, that I have a talent. He uses me for demonstrations. The first compliment on my music from a teacher in over a year was from him. You know what he told me?

"Pansy? That was one of the best tone qualities I have ever heard. That's a hard note for an alto, and you played it beautifully. Well done. I'm very proud of you!"

I had a whole stim attack. It was magical. He has never doubted my playing abilities once, and I have grown much more in 3 months than I did in that whole year with the other guy.

I almost quit band because of him. But I found joy in my music and my instrument again. I found a band that accepts me for me, and sees me as a member.

ANY WHOOOOO THANK YOU FOR READING THAT SILLY THING AHAHHA

That first band teacher can feel my wrath I am SHAKING with frustration at this dickhead

new band teacher has my seal of approval tbh :)

15 questions, 15 mutuals (which i do not have)

thanks to the lovely @hairstevington for the tag 💞

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my father just liked the name so much he gave it as a second name to my older sis and then 8 years later to me. I don't like it, in fact it was another way for people to bully me in elementary cause old peoples' name. I do know a lot of people with it now tho.

2. When was the last time you cried? 2 days ago, i cry A LOT.

3. Do you have kids? no and THANK FUCK for it.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? maybe? i mean i'm just a mean cunt so... lol

5. What sports do you play/have you played? none, omg i hate sports so much, i do enjoy billiards tho if it counts as a sport?

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? appearance and vibessss, i immediately look for a connection

7. What's your eye colour? blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings? BOTH, i LOVE happy endings and but there's just something about a slasher that is just scrumptious 🤭

9. Any special talents? ... playing on people's nerves, hating myself and thinking I'm the best person at the same time ahahha

10. Where were you born? poland and spend most of my life in the place i was born and grew up in, still living in this house!

11. What are your hobbies? it changes but like painting, writing, watching shit ton of movies/series and singing

12. Do you have pets? i do have 2 cats now, lucifer and edgar allan poop and up until 2 days ago i had a dog, rip karol, he was a 16 yo baby 💞

13. How tall are you? very average, 165/7(?)cm, that's like what...5'4/5'5? (my sis and i are the same height she keeps insisting we're actually short and 5'3, I'm not sure myself how tall i am anymore, she messed with my mind)

14. Favourite subject in school? english and arts

15. Dream job? BEING A MENACE TO THE SOCIETY!!! but fr tho singer, musician, being in a band and being disgustingly rich or being a painter (bullshitting people into my arts cause they're actually not that good)

so here we go with the one and only, the man, the myth, the legend @batboythebanished !!! (u've been tagged. it's a threat.)

helloooo Sibi baby, first of all woofffff woof. Wet has me dropping me wet 😮‍💨 yeiu went off. Queen with your writing skills master Sibi. I’m just a mere mortal put on this world to experience your writing. 🤲🏻 infact all the first weeks 7 stories have me clenching so hard that I had to ask my dom bf to allow me to let me have a little gentle femdom session with him. Oh Sibi, the things that do to and make me also do. Okay so, I will once again say chefs kiss to your writing and now I would like to ask you something. So I told my boyfriend about you and your yummy stories. We’ve been pretty much dom, him, sub me since the start of our relationship and since I discovered you(6 months back) i mentioned him the idea of domming him. Soooooo, okay tomorrow we’ve booked a little hotel room and are planning to be intimate but finally playing out this fantasy that you’ve ignited inside of me. Now full disclaimer, it’s consensual and my boyfriends wants this to happen and actually also send his love your way for helping me discover gentle femdom because he secretly had this kink but never knew to bring it up because all he ever saw was garbage pornhub videos and he assumed that men as a dom was just a default settling. Anyways I think I’m rambling too much, OKAY SO now I’ve been tossing and turning in my bed because im super nervous about tomorrow and I just wanted your help. I’ve read each and every one of your story but I feel like non of them kind of show how someone new to dom, (girls perspective) should go about it? Don’t get me wrong, you didn’t have to write it and maybe I could’ve missed something who knows. Most your stories if they have a newbie it’s always the male who is new to experience being dommed. My question being, can you please guide me a little? On how to go about it? If it helps, he wants a very gentle dom and he is into edging. In my mind I’m clear that I’ll wear a sexy two piece set but instruct him to be completely naked and laying on the bed before I enter the room and start the scene. I know I don’t want to touch his cock for atleast 30 mins to tease the shit out of him and make him leak on himself but besides that I’m so blank. I’m so so so blank. Like what do I do for that 30 minutes? Sibi I’m so nervous. Please help me. He isn’t into anal stuff yet, we will get into that slowly. One step at a time so everyone is comfortable and having fun and everything is consensual. Oh and you’d be proud, I’m using the green, yellow, red safewords from your stories in our playtime. You’re such a huge influence in my sex life you have no idea. Okay so please help me out. Give me pointers. Give me 5 top just lust worthy dirty tricks to make him a begging mess before I ever touch his dick. Please help me become the best succubus-esque gentle femdom one could be, please queen Sibi. 🤲🏻 also I’m a such a huge fan and I write to you very often so I will start adding an emoji now since I’ve made you so god dame important in my life. You should know how much I worship you.

🔐

(like the matching lockets of hobi and joonie at jack in the box listening party🤍)

hope 2 hear from u soon soon hopefully before tomorrow 5pm BUT NO PRESSURE OF COURSE AAAHHHHHHHH IM DYING THO

Aah I'm so happy my lil stories helped you discover stuff about yourself!! SA!OC definitely didn't have any ideas of how to dom people before she met Yoongs and I think tct!OC didn't really have experience either fjdsfj or the sense of innocence!OC. I guess I just like writing them already kinda nailing it? because being dominant comes so natural to me ahahha

And as far as your night is concerned. Obviously I have no idea what you or your boyfriend enjoy, so this is gonna be very general advice, which you guys may or may not enjoy.

touch him. i feel like men in heteronormative relationships never really get pampered (looking at all the straight girlies i know who went wait you pamper your man?? to me). So lie him down and feel up every inch of his body. Kiss the parts he likes the most, give him goosebumps with soft touches, praise him for being so handsome, play with his hair, whisper against his ears for those shiversss

a little birdie once whispered to me that it feels especially good on the neck and chest :-) also many (not all obvs.) have sensitive nipples so maybe try stimulating them for a little.

inner thigh kisses. so many of them. hickeys, little soft bites, kisses. inner thighs are sensitive for men too, so worship them.

also okay but armpits and their sides? dance your fingertips/nails down those parts and i can guarantee that they will shiver

massages could work wonders too. they are relaxing and sensual and give you guys a great connection & it gives you an opportunity to feel him up

you can also use the time to "use him for your own pleasure". make him finger you, eat you out, use a toy on you, whatever feeds your taste. just make him make you cum as often as you want to because that's what we girlies deserve and i feel like a real man enjoys making his queen cum 💅🏻

sensory play? something with either feathers tracing his skin, brushes swirling over his body or maybe even something like ice cubes for a little temperature play

Honestly my general advice would be lots of touches and pampering with so many praises about how handsome and good he is. Or if he is a service sub/dom offer him an opportunity for pleasing you (cause bro that would get me going sjfdsj) before really pampering him. Just be sensual with him, that shit is so underrated but so hot.

I hope this can help you. Have fun tonight and remember to always follow the SSC rule. Safe, sane and consensual with lots communication in between 💜

Okie I know you’ve done a doctor who matchup for me but omfg I saw you had Dresden files on your fandom list and was wondering if I could have a romantic matchup? I love that series omfg

My pronouns are she/her and im bisexual.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent at first. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my friends I’m quite friendly and outgoing. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I open up to people very easily if we have similar interests. That’s when the chaotic theories and wacky ideas spout out. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else unless the result directly affects me. Just let me do things the way I do them. I'm also quite dedicated and ambitious on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Art. Any art honestly. Though I mostly work with digital mediums. That is, I love to creative code. I love working with interaction design, web design, user experience and user interfaces. I also love special effects, and 3D/2d modeling. I’m currently trying to build my own mini video game. Apart from this, I love other mediums of art too especially drawing, digital illustrating, and printmaking.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: let’s just say I spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.

LIKES: I love lazy weekends at home, classic arcades, vanilla lattes, learning random new facts, spending time alone, intelligence, creativity, a good sense of witty humor, conversations where you can just be yourself and skip all the awkward small talk, the look on people’s faces when they ramble abt the stuff they’re into, wearing way too much jewelry, a good home cooked meal, summer and warm weather, a good giggling session with friends esp abt fictional crushes ahahha.

DISLIKES: hugging and physical touch, large crowds, seriousness to a fault, cold weather, admitting my anxieties, talking on the phone, going to the doctor/dentist, people who are “courageous” but are really idiots jumping into things without thinking, small talk, backstabbing people, when people have no ambition/purpose in life

Thank you!

Hello again lovely! I got so pumped to write your matchup when I saw it! I LOVE the Dresden Files! I actually have a story in progress with it! I hope you like your matchup! 

I pair you with… Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden!

(this is the only gif I could find of Harry that wasn't Harry Styles)

(I couldn’t resist, lmao)

(Also, we’re ignoring the fact that I genuinely have no clue how old Harry is, so this could be completely off)

OKAY, SO HARRY DRESDEN. Resident mess and our favorite spell-slinging wizard is your perfect match!

The two of you initially met through Karen Murphy! You and Murphy are great friends, and it’s only natural that she introduces you to the significant people in her life. That significant person being Harry Dresden. Harry takes an instant liking to you when he sees how much you and Murphy care for each other. It takes some time with mutual pining (cause who wouldn’t pine after Dresden? I know I probably would, either that or terrified cause he’s a literal giant), but he eventually asks you out, and you start dating!

Small talk? What’s small talk? Harry absolutely despises it just as much as you do, so don’t worry about him bringing up pointless topics in conversation. He loves to hear you talk! The two of you have similar interests, so it can get pretty chaotic pretty quickly, but he loves every second of it. He’s had a long and lonely life without someone to really call his, without there being some sort of caveat or problem after getting with them. But there are no such things with you, so you both just get to be happy :)

Harry typically lets you do whatever you want in the relationship (within reason, don’t go cheating on this wizard). The only time he really puts his foot down is when the results could get you in danger or trouble with the wizarding world or with fae folk. But he loves your ambition! He thinks it’s incredibly attractive and pushes him to do more in his own life.

So video games, movies, and tv shows are a no-go. They don’t mix well with magic, so books are really the only thing he likes to surprise you with. They’re usually obscure titles and books because Harry prefers shopping local and at hole-in-the-wall bookshops instead of huge company chains. Overall, this wizard loves you a whole lot and enjoys your company!

(Villainisation anon here)

[Ohh you have such an efficient way of tagging and maintaining different discussions! I am very much involved in another fandom and receive lots of asks about discourse but I somehow always manage to make a mess of tags, lol]

As for the name, I think I’ll go with 📖 anon or whatever tag you want to use. I am assuming you get a lot of anons regarding discourse so I don’t want to club myself with them.

I can totally understand your frustration regarding the lack of knowledge the general audience may have about The Sharmas. It’s frustrating when you know so much about something but cannot let it all out, especially to strangers on the internet. I have been in similar situations, and I am sorry if my ask ever made you feel that way.

I have definitely seen the word racist be thrown around quite carelessly with unclear implications, with the most recent instance being yesterday. I won’t go into the details of what was said, because maybe the person is your mutual and I don’t wish to involve you in any drama. (You may have, perhaps already seen something about it on your dash). But the words were hurtful and they invalidated my experience as a desi person watching the show. I know people can be quite vitriolic on both sides of the discourse, and it’s sad. But that’s the truth of fandom spaces - discourse is inevitable and I don’t have any ideas on what to do about it, lol.

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day/night (if you live in India, it must be past midnight for you! It’s dinnertime for me, so I must dash. But thank you for such a healthy and respectful discussion).

Here are Bookie 📖 Anon's previous asks!

Hello again 📖 Anon - I think I shall call you Bookie for short ahahha if you're okay with that! While Villianisation/Villain Anon sounds cool af I didn't want to make you sound like a hater lol. So I dub thee Bookie 📖 Anon!

Anyways thank you for the compliment, it means a lot. Also there's no right or wrong way to tag or run a discourse blog so don't worry about yours - do what feels right for you!

Funny thing is, I never use to tag things AT ALL before I start running this blog. Hell I wouldn't even link previous posts but then I started getting more related asks and it seemed logical to give context. The Emojis started recently though and they are so fun! I think only Jett and Ring Anon have come back to my asks a few times lol. I think its cool to know where they all stand on different topics instead of me assuming every anon is a different person because Uhhh that's like over 140 (I think that's how many asks I've answered since March?) people who have been talking to me and that's a daunting thought oop.

That was a fun tangent but let's get into the meat of this post!

Thank you for being so understanding, Bookie! But I'll survive and stick to my friends' fics for wholesome Sharmas ahahah. And oh, if I could I would scream about the Book Sharmas all day but I'm not that unhinged lmao. Instead I will passive aggressively hype them and their book scenes up (I did it here also wanna make some edits with the book scene quotes tacked onto S2's scenes at some point) Also want to reassure you that you did not make me feel that way at all! It was nice to have people who like flawed Sharmas' fics to be civil and open to discussion - it was a good change from the usual drama on my dash ahahah.

That being said ohmygod Bookie, spill the tea and call them out!! Who was that?? I saw another post vagueposting Mimi and I but they weren't being 'racist', just fucking rude.

But the words were hurtful and they invalidated my experience as a desi person watching the show. I know people can be quite vitriolic on both sides of the discourse, and it’s sad. But that’s the truth of fandom spaces - discourse is inevitable and I don’t have any ideas on what to do about it, lol.

Tell me about it, the invalidation in this fandom is INSANE sometimes, I mean I'll admit sometimes I am a little guilty of it but its in the name of invalidating bigots who should be drowned out because we do not need this energy here. I do hope you're feeling better now and the words didn't get to you <3 I know I said spill the tea but if you don't want to give yourself away and get involved in the drama, I totally understand! That being said if you do want to vent about that situation, my DMs and off anon asks (I can respond to you privately!) are always open if you need them.

Take care Bookie, and yes it was ard 1am (I'm in Asia, GMT+8 btw) when I posted your second ask and fell asleep soon after ahhaha. Hope you had a good dinner and can't wait to hear from you in the future!!

My Chaotic Reread Of Cdth

I’m rereading Cdth and the emotional roller coaster I’m on has me going on Tumblr and ranting as a read, hopefully someone can relate.

SPOILERS!!!  MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS!!  (Disclaimer: It’s long)

All quotes belong to Call Down The Hawk By Maggie Stiefvater!

Welcome to today’s session of “I’m a train wreck of a reading person”!

“Lock tapped the time of Nathan Farooq-Lane’s death into his phone.”   Pg 10

Dangerous dreamers, fun.  Killing your own sibling with an obsession with blades, so much fun.

“Ronan Lynch was about to end the world.”   Pg 11

Rereading this makes me laugh, it’s so funny that one POV is like “Oh no we have to find the Zed who wants to end the world asap” and meanwhile insert Ronan Lynch: I’m about to end the world.  Slow down Lynch, we’re only on chapter 2 and I haven’t had my sip of coffee yet.

“Ronan missed him like a lung” Pg 17

Idk man, this is what I call quality romance, if you don’t miss your lover like a lung you’re doing something wrong.

“Please.” Pg 32

If you know, you know.

“You smell like home.” Pg 35

My heart, awe

Okay, when RONAN DOESN’T MENTION NOAH, I HURT.  For real, I read those theories dhuiehuefhefuheui

““Don’t kill anyone.”  The words were only an excuse to breathe in Ronan’s ear; it made a marvel of his nerve endings.” Pg 39

ADAM YOU FLIRT-

*reads the fight-not a fight part* *closes book* *walks out the front door* we’re gonna buy Adam Parrish a cup of self-worth. (Pg 44)

“I want it too much.” Pg 46

....and murder crabs 

“Now who’s the little bitch?” Pg 73

Ah, yes, the moment I fell in love with Hennessy.

“Nightwash” Pg 76

Okay, ngl when I first read this my mind was like: mouthwash Now I’m like: The name is perfect 

“Is there any version of you that could come with me to Cambridge? No” Pg 76

jwhdjshsbhjfv 

“You are made of dreams and this world is not for you.” Pg 77

Oh you- ~ The text messages between Ronan and Gansey are wholesome

“DBAG LYNCH” Pg 87

*Cackles*

Chapter 12 really changed my perspective of Declan and let me tell you, I came out of this book wanting to hug the hell out of Declan- 

“Jordan imagined flinging herself from a roof and flying” Pg 101 

The moment I fell in love with Jordan ~ Parsifal- I- <3

“Bryde, they said” Pg 128

Meanwhile, my brain: Here comes the Bryde 

“The orphans Lynch.” Pg 135

*tears* ~ Declan and Jordan = Yes  (Pg. the whole book) ~ Tbh when Gasey asked if “Badass” was two words or one, I spent 15 minutes thinking about that- but that’s just Gansey, he says something, sends me to question mark nation and then monologues, love him. (Pg. 161) ~ OH MATTHEW YOU INNOCENT I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT’S COMING FOR YOU- (Pg 160) ~ PARSIFAL T-T (Pg 166) Carmen...ah  (Pg 179) ~ Chapter 28: HOLD ON, HOLD ON ~ PARSIFAL T-T (Pg 195)

““I saved your life because I love you and I was scared [...]”  “I know you.”“ (Pg 204-206)

Yes, that’s all, yes ~ Tyrian purple (Pg 214) ~ YES DECLAN HAPPINESS, H A P P I N E S S (Pg 231) ~ *Insert Adam* *Insert Ronan* *Insert kisses* *Insert my happy tears* I’ll never tire of this scene, never, it’s so, you know? (Pg. 235-237) ~ *insert scrying* *insert scream* there has been a disturbance in the force *insert Ronan holding Adam* disturbance has been demolished (Chapter 39) ~ *insert Adam leaving* :( *insert Adam stalling* :D *insert Ronan feeling alone* :( *Insert kisses goodbye* :D  (Chapter 41)

“You are the most expensive thing I have ever saved” Pg 267

And this is the moment where I stared at the page for 5 minutes just loving this line ~ *Insert Ronan saving Hennessy* "THAT’S MY SON!” I yelled into the abyss/at my bedroom wall. (chapter 44) ~ *the matthew scene* You know the first time I read this I was in class and I was sobbing.  No matter how many times I read it, I die, can someone stop me from throwing myself out a window?  Please, it hurts. (Pg. 312) ~ *the matthew to ronan scene* Hahahaha haha ha *channels inner Neil Josten* I’m fine, totally fine, didn’t have my heart ripped out of my chest, NOPE (Pg. 316) ~ Chapter 56, I bow down to you, you’re amazing. ~ When Ronan said “my boyfriend” I screeched.  (Pg. 357) Ha..WERE GOING ON A TRIP TO OUR FAVOURITE MAGICAL FOREST, SOARING THROUGH DREAMS, IT’S GONNA BE FINE. (What am I doing?) ~ P A R S I F A L (pg. 364) ~ Declan “in case you don’t have internal organs” Lynch. (Pg. 371) Ouuu plot twist (Pg. 373) ~ Living for awkward Declan, you know? ~ Chainsaw and Opal, thank you for gracing me with your presence (Pg. 393) Give the girl some time Lynch, she’s scared (Chapter. 67) ~ (chapter 69) Sing it with me guys “Something good is happening, that can only mean we’re about to get our hearts broken! ay!”  THE PAINTINGS- Oh Declan, hun, you *hugs book* it’s okay, I’m sorry, I love you. ~ The dogs, yes Ronan, yess (pg. 428) ~

“Tamquam. It was marked unread.” -Pg. 458 

Ahahah, didn’t need my heart anyways ~ I reached the end and here I am again yelling at the book to give me answers and crying, it’s great to be alive. ~

Wow you’ve made it to the end (or you scrolled and scrolled and here you are, hello). Hope you enjoyed my rant and reread of this book, I’m a mess, I love this book so much. I loved The Raven Cycle as well and I can’t wait for the next book in this trilogy. Have a wonderful day and stay safe guys! *whisper hisses* MAY COME FASTER 

There was a kind of comfort when she was with him. When she was with him, she could be just herself, and he would be her friend. Unlike with most people, she was a carefully curated mask, aiming to help, aiming to please, but never herself.

Perhaps it was because he understood the constant need to not offend others, to keep others happy, to try to offer help. Olivia was grateful to have him as a friend, could feel her shoulders slowly releasing tension when they were alone instead of having to talk to other people.

It was always weird to have someone genuinely like her as her, like her as a friend, not as a fortune teller or someone who they could gain information from. Sometimes she had the urge to tell him the story of her pre-teen years, when she had yet to join VFD. (Her parents died a little after that, and she was quickly swept in after their death.) She had the urge to tell him that it was always surprising that he would enjoy being friends with her, that anyone would enjoy being friends with her.

She’d known she was a little odd, growing up. Not fitting in. She was always so clueless about what the latest fashion was, about what everyone was talking about. It was okay, so she enjoyed different things, read odd books her classmates didn’t read, was bad at every kind of sport and did not know the popular singers others talked about. She liked her own interests and wouldn’t mind enjoying them on her own, even if it was a little lonely sometimes. But she’d always found solace in the books. Even if other people found her a little odd, she could live with that.

Except in the last two years of elementary school, when she transferred to another school, that she realized it became more than that. Her classmates didn’t just find her odd, they hated her and didn’t bother hiding that. They didn’t simply find her slightly weird - they hated her. She never really found out why - she hadn’t known then, and she still didn’t know now, years later. She did find out why they disliked one of her only friends at that time - because the other girl had hanged out with her.

Looking back, she couldn’t really remember exactly why they’d made her so scared at that time. When she tried to think back, her brain just went blank and refused to delve deeper into anything. It refused to load the memories. She was sure they’d never done anything physical - well, maybe a few threats about what they would do during dodgeball in PE class - but she’d managed to mostly avoid that. Plus, she was petite, that must made it a little harder to aim, right?  She was sure she’d been scared and worried every day, she remembered at least 3 quarters of the class were one big friend group, and they all disliked her. She remembered her friend who stood by her despite making herself a target too - how did she ever deserve such loyalty, she didn’t know. It’d lasted till almost graduation but then suddenly two very prominent members of the gang had a large fight and then they were all taking sides and suddenly lost interest in her.  She’d been thankful for that too, though she never found out what exactly caused the fight between them either. She was just grateful she could take a breath.

She had, in her adult years, tried many times to search her memories what they had done that terrified her preteen self so much, but her brain always refused to cooperate.  She wondered if she’d just been too sensitive and too easily scared and too eager to be like that she couldn’t stand most of her classmates disliking her.  At least they hadn’t done anything physical, she told herself. Maybe I had just been too sensitive, she told herself.

She still couldn’t remember. 

She thought she once remembered more.

In her first few months in VFD, attending all the trainings, she’d been quietly relieved that at least in this new environment she wasn’t universally hated. She was still a little weird, but there were other people with their own rare interests too, and it felt a little safer, a little more comfortable - comparatively, anyway. One of her fellow new recruits at that time liked socializing a lot and somehow became friends with one of her previous classmates that disliked her.

She remembered, to this day, finding out about that and the new recruit wanting to introduce them to meet, and the way she had vehemently said no and burst into tears. She remembered being fucking scared at the thought and the new recruit had quickly agreed to not introducing them and didn’t bring it up again.

That was a memory that stayed.

The sudden panic again, the tears, after finding out about how someone in her current circle knew someone from her past circle who were part of a group that terrified her so much that even the idea of seeing anyone from that group again immediately made her burst into tears.

That was the memory that, whenever she thought back to her preteen years, that came to mind the most. Unlike what exactly happened that made her so miserable and scared back then which her brain always gave her a blank when she tried to remember, the crying of that day, already in VFD and no longer in the same class as those people, was a memory that seemed deeply etched and she didn’t know how to forget.

It didn’t make sense to her, but it was not like she understood much about how memories and brains worked either.

From then on, she did her best to avoid being dislike, did her best to please others. She didn’t need others to like the real her, as long as they didn’t hate her, she would take that. If they liked her - even if it’s her mask and not the real her - she counted that as a win.

If, in the rare case, they liked the real her, and was willing to be friends - like he was - she was always surprised and deeply grateful, in ways she didn’t often know how to articulate.

“Bertrand,” she began. Impulsively. “Could I tell you a story about the school I went to before VFD?”

He raised his head from his book. “Of course.”

please.. don't ask

YOOOOO

U were born in 2007??? Omg i thought u were so much older lik u give VERY mature and just lik u have ur shit together

OMG and lik girl ur TALENT??? WOW

literally me rn

HAHHA YESS I AM A 07 LINER 🤩‼️please in no way I have my shit together, my life is a mess but my irls also say this that I'm more mature for my age lmao ig that is it. And my talent? Jwjab tyy <33 ily

And please the sunoo meme 😭🙏 I'm saving it ahahha.

what i absolutely loved was that after hanji suggested they basically run away together and live together right there, when levi woke up, he didn't tell her he didn't want to run away or live with her, he told her that YOU (hanji) won't be happy in the dark. romance or friendship, that was just very sweet.

True!! We are all talking about Hanji, but Levi's answer was important too. Because he noticed that Hanji was already planning on leaving, he knows her and so he supported her with her plan. He gave her the push she needed, since she was hesitant because of his conditions.

And let's not forget that Levi said they should leave only after the Paths, but he didn't say anything when Hanji was talking. He was listening righ? So why didn't he immediately said no? Maybe he was actually considering that option, but the vision made him change his mind. While Hanji was talking the situation was: we are wanted people, we should stay here together, far from that mess; but then the situation became: if we stay here the world will be destroyed. So maybe at the beginning he actually wanted to stay in the forest with her, otherwise why didn't he said anything?

Maybe I'm just overthinking ahahha, but that scene was so good!

getting stressed out because content creators of stuff you really enjoy are younger than you and you’re starting to wonder if you’re wasting your life because you still haven’t ended up anywhere you’d like to be

hi! i just wanted to say that your mdzs/cql meta gives me life, and your inability to write short posts is a joy and a blessing forever. i'm not even kidding, i nearly teared up trying to suppress the shrieking glee when i found your commentaries, because detailed linguistic explorations of canon dialogue! character discussions in the context of Chinese literature! at length! and in fantastic depth! so yeah, please don’t restrain yourself for our sakes when it comes to wordcount.

(scans ask twice to make sure I’m not missing a question in it)

hello, my goodness, this is so nice!!! I feel like a solid 70% of the responses I got on 知己 zhiji post was like “oh my god this is so long” so when I was working on linguistic register post I was like “ahahHA this is EVEN LONGER” and then, more quietly “no one is going to read it and that will be okay”

but getting nice messages from folks who seem to enjoy (??!??!) long posts makes me feel much better about it! Shout-out to Google-fu, I’m honestly right next to you, one boat over, plying my baidu-baike skills

here’s the thing about the Chinese tradition -- when you’ve got roughly 3000 years of just, textual records about like, everything

and then you make the foundation of your imperial bureaucracy literacy and fluency in classic texts

and then you make poetry your highest written artform (as opposed to like, the novel or the play)

at some point the written tradition just becomes an intertextual mess

everything is a reference to everything else

the intertextual commentaries are longer than the text itself

it is 3 AM and I have a headache