Hey, so this kind of turned into a vent. Be wary going in, but it’s important if you engage some with my stuff. I think I’ve been thinking about it more as btg has become more active, and wanted to get it all off my chest.
I’ve wanted to bring this up for a while now, after my popularity grew. I’m sure some people have noticed my lack of joy at the 500 followers milestone, and the 600 one, but it’s a bit more complicated than on the surface.
So, there was something I haven’t really mentioned. It wasn’t ever really a secret, I just didn’t feel it was important, and was always taught it was dangerous to talk about and to dance around the subject if brought up. But I’ve noticed that the people on Tumblr find this kind of important to know when interacting. I know people on here can get really hostile, and this kind of became a secret because of that. I don’t know if it’s bad that I haven’t said anything or not, but I thought I should still make a post anyway.
So, I’m, in my country, since I know it might be younger or older in other places, a minor.
Okay most important stuff first. Yes, I’ve said or drawn mildly suggestive stuff, that’s mostly because I’m very unaffected by it and find it more amusing (I might be a little ace idk), though I do purposely keep stuff I make mostly tame simply because like- still technically a kid. I’ve seen stuff far more suggestive from afar before and just nod and say “mm, yes, that exists” and indifferently move the hell on with my life.
Being part of the STP community has been really strange for me and not all in good ways. I hate hate hate people looking up to me, or being jealous, or having anxiety talking to me because- in my head- I’m just doing everything and talking to everyone I can because I like making stuff and talking to people, and I feel so uncomfortable up on this pedestal where I’m held so high, but if I make one wrong step I’ll have tomatos thrown at me. It’s a really claustrophobic and isolating position and feeling and it makes me feel sick, anxious, stressed, and really really scared.
I like the community I’m in and friends I’ve made, but I’m really afraid I’ll say something unusual or wrong or maybe even offensive since I don’t know everything I’m supposed to say or do. I don’t know how to act when someone’s depressed, I don’t know how people feel about shipping, or designs for characters who canonically don’t have a physical appearance, or what the opinion is on all of the nsfw content. I do the Homer Simpson bush meme whenever I see it pop up because if there’s something that I do know, it’s that people don’t want minors reading their blorbos being sexy with each other.
(Side note: The amount of times I’ve accidentally clicked on an explicit fic thinking ‘Oo what’s this’ and then seeing what’s going to happen is… not staggering, actually. But enough for me to laugh in hindsight. I scroll to the bottom to read the comments to confirm my suspicions, and get the hell out. Happened with the same fics multiple times too because I forgot they were explicit and that I’d encountered them in the first place, wondered why I never read them and then boom, flashback, I never read the description like the fool I am).
And there’s the thing isn’t it. Some parts of fandom culture, it feels like all I can do is mess up. I just don’t know how I can handle all the fear of this attention?
Like, I don’t hate it. I like interacting, I like that people love my art despite my grievances with parts of my style, I’ve been so motivated to grow and get better because of everyone. You can all look at my oldest STP post and newest one and see the differences plainly.
But it’s really so much, and I’m as grateful as I am terrified. I’m terrified of hurting someone’s feelings when I don’t mean to. Like, what if I follow someone and they get excited because I’m a “big name” and then I decide to unfollow for whatever reason I might have at the time? I might crush that person’s soul or want to interact.
Despite my willingness, I do have problems with some ships, but I can’t voice any because what if I start a big argument with a bunch of people involved instead of the normal discussion I wanted to have? People are more likely to take my side because I’m the popular person, and we all know popular people are always right about everything and we must regurgitate their opinions without any thought put into how you actually feel. And then I’ll make whoever I was talking to retreat for a really long time, and everything will be awful and terrible forever and ever.
I can’t do that to people! I’ve been those people! I’ve was told things by people I looked up to and would get so so so upset, because I’m really emotional. I don’t want to hurt someone who might be sensitive like me.
I really just wanted to get all these feelings off my chest. Sorry if it got pretty venty. I’m open to discussing it, I’m still really scared to post this, it’s my only ever vent post, but I’ll try not to just save it in my drafts and let it rot.
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lunch break
by the wonderfully talented @mimibayra (click for better quality)
hello friends✨
i am beyond honored to be sharing this amazing artwork i had done for @oh-so-youre-a-nerd and @saibug1022. elliott's done so many beautiful pieces for the windverse, it was about time i returned the favor🖤 mags is notorious for skipping meals, so to be sat down with wind over a basket of pastries is nothing short of a miracle 😂
this art was thanks to a donation i personally made to the following gfm campaign. i would like everyone to take the time to meet laila:
pictured above is laila and her four siblings; photo taken from laila's gfm page
(please read more below):
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an excerpt from laila's campaign (organized by ahmed shaqqoura, laila's uncle; note this is only a portion of what is written and i strongly encourage you to read the whole passage)
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from laila's tumblr @lailashaqoura:
a ss of one of laila's calligraphy pieces (full post here)
laila reached out to me three days ago (see here) asking to share her story with you all. her campaign has been vetted/verified by multiple sources that i've double checked:
source one // source two (laila's campaign is listed as #152 on the sheet made by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein)
to learn more on how to double check if campaigns have been vetted/verified: read here
since my initial post (6/7), laila's family has raised $1,839. those additional funds were made possible by people continuing to spread laila's message. to stand with palestinians is to see them for who they are. to read their stories and understand that they are more than the horrific conditions they have endured for years. they are mothers- fathers- brothers- sisters- and so much more. laila is one of many brilliant lights that deserves to continue to showcase her talents as an artist with the world. she deserves to live out her dreams- as well as the rest of her family
@/mimibayra is currently offering her time and talents to making art like this for anyone who donates to not only laila's campaign, but others she has mentioned on her donation commission sheet. feel free to reach out to her for any questions you may have!
another artist i want to highlight here is @palentonga who is also offering art for those able to donate. i know a few of my moots here are dnd fans- and she specializes in making portraits for dnd characters. it was actually through her account that i was able to find @/mimibayra in the first place. visit her 📌 for more info on her donation commissions
while it is heartbreaking to read the stories coming from palestine, it is also a privilege to know them. i may never get to meet laila and her family face to face- but i still feel connected to them in a way that i never thought to be possible. there is beauty in knowing that you can care so deeply- feel as strongly- about their cause. to quote @/fairuzfan (a palestinian blogger):
"there is still hope. say it out loud. palestine will be free. the palestinian people will celebrate their culture and heritage with each other. we will love and be loved. do not fall into the trap of despair."
read full post here
for anyone who can, please consider matching my donation:
and if you can't donate, please share laila's story and continue to make space for her and her family in your heart. stay present and engaged for them and everyone else in palestine. listen to those who are sharing their lives and experiences so openly whilst facing tremendous suffering, not just here on tumblr, but on any platform you may have. it is never to late to stand with them. because we are not free until they are all free
if you made it this far, thanks for sticking around 🖤
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A fic writer's guide to leaving comments
I'm sure you've seen posts from fic writers expressing dismay at the death of feedback culture, and especially lamenting the phenomenon of people making private Discord servers to share fic recs, so that instead of having a chance to stumble on nice comments in the wild on Tumblr, Twitter, etc, fic writers are increasingly less likely to see good comments left about their work.
I also see the comments on those same posts flooded with people with concerns about commenting, so I am writing this as a guide for those new or unsure.
Firstly: some of you are probably asking, "why do fanfic writers need feedback at all? Shouldn't they be writing just for themselves?"
Well... No. Not really. People can and should create things for themself, yes, but that doesn't mean "continue to post content when no one seems to be engaging." Imagine cooking for someone who eats in utter silence and never says a single word about the meal. Imagine putting on a concert and receiving not a single applause, a cheer, nothing at all. It sounds utterly horrifying, doesn't it? Maybe even humiliating?
Writing for oneself means that positive reviews shouldn't be the sole factor in deciding whether to write/post/continue a story, not that a writer should feel obligated to write thousands of words for a story no one really reacts to in any way, especially when the writer sees creators of similar content (edits, fanarts, fanvids, fansongs, etc) get praised effusively for their work without this expectation being placed on them. It is very rare that artists are told they should draw for themselves the way fic writers are.
Further, and this may be a hot take, but I actually don't think it's inherently wrong to make positive reviews the main or even sole reason for writing or making art to begin with. People like being praised for things they do well. It's one of the most basic parts of human psychology. Human beings want to be praised, encouraged, validated, and celebrated sometimes; why do you think we celebrate birthdays? It's not egotistical. It might, perhaps, be setting oneself up for disappointment, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it, anyway.
Basically, all that to say: it's nice to tip your Uber drivers and baristas. It's nice to thank/compliment your spouse when they make you dinner. And it's nice to thank fan artists and fanfic writers when they make arts/fics that you enjoy.
Moving on: I also know some of you have some specific things you worry or are confused about, and those things might be stopping you from leaving feedback. So here is an FAQ of sorts:
Q: What if the story has a lot of chapters/the author has written many stories? Won't it be weird to go and leave so many comments on them?
A: You definitely can review only the latest chapter/fic and future installments if you so choose, but for the record, fanfics aren't like Instagram/Facebook; mass-commenting and kudosing old stories and chapters isn't seen as stalkerish. It's seen as a sign you're enjoying the content we made. Think of it this way: if a new Star Wars came out, and you were new to Star Wars, it would only make sense for you to go and watch (and post about) the previous movies, right?
Q: What if I don't know what to say?
A: That's perfectly okay! I have a guide at the bottom of this post if you need some ideas. But honestly, writers would rather a single ♥️ than nothing at all, so if you really can't think of anything, that's a good last resort.
Q: I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting the writer.
A: There is almost no chance that you will say the wrong thing, unless you are giving unasked-for criticism (see below).
Q: What if I don't like the fic? Should I still comment?
A: No, it's definitely better to silently move on when you didn't enjoy it at all.
Note that while in the past, giving criticism was common practice, this has generally become less of something authors enjoy over time (perhaps tied in with the general lack of feedback; getting fewer comments in general can make it far more frustrating to get critical ones). If you are close to the writer, or if the criticism is just a SPAG issue, you can try asking the writer if they'd like to hear it, but otherwise, leave it be unless the author has indicated somewhere they're open to it. But please be nice. Anything you wouldn't say to an artist, don't do to a writer, please.
Q: In the past, I commented and the writer got mad at me.
A: If you weren't leaving unasked-for criticism, then likely the problem was that particular author. Don't let it deter you from commenting on others. Every group of people has assholes, including writers.
Q: I saw an author who requested no comments on their fic/turned off comments on their fic.
A: Not every writer ultimately DOES want comments, though the majority do. Likely that person was having anxiety, or had recently been harassed/received rude comments and didn't want to bother with it.
Q: An author limited comments to registered users only.
A: See above; likely they did this either as a harassment mitigation member or to prevent minors from reading their fics, especially if it was an NSFW work.
Q: I saw a note that a writer had "enabled comment moderation" on their story. Does that mean they don't want me to comment?
A: Not at all! It means they likely have been harassed/received rude comments, or have reason to fear they will (I.E. have recently posted a story dealing controversial themes, or have received such comments on other sites), and are activating a setting where you can comment, but they need to manually approve the comment before it shows up, which will prevent nasty comments from being read. In these cases, a nice comment might actually mean even more to them, because it shows they have support- so by all means, show them some extra love!
Q: Are there any cases where I shouldn't comment?
A: Yes, but these are mostly individual cases, not a hard rule. In addition to the circumstances listed above (author preference or leaving a negative comment), please do not comment if you are a minor and the fic is rated higher than teen (you shouldn't be reading these to begin with, but if you are, please don't make it obvious you did so), or conversely, if you write higher-than-teen-rated fics and the fic is written by a minor. Also, if the author has blocked you on other platforms, do not comment, as this is block evasion.
Q: Is it okay to comment just to ask for an update/to prompt another fic?
A: It depends largely on context, tone, etc. "I hope this updates soon" is 100% fine. Guilt trippy messages, like "it's been two years, I know you have been going through a lot but you have an obligation to your readers" are NEVER okay. Similarly, with prompts, saying "I hope you explore (thing) one day" is fine, especially if you know the author, but if your first comment to them ever is requesting a fic for a completely different scenario, ship, etc than they wrote, with little or nothing about the actual fic you're replying to, it will come across as rude.
Q: Is it okay to ask an author for permission to translate the fic into another language or make another derivative work?
A: Absolutely, but not every author will want this to be done, and you need to be prepared to respect their no if they give one. Think of it like asking a restaurant for one of their recipes. Some will happily give it out, others consider it a personal/guarded secret.
That said, do not even dare ask about feeding the work to an AI. Fanfic writers DO NOT want AI touching their work. Same for artists. Yes, this includes trying to make an ending for an abandoned fic. Do not do it.
Q: The author of this fic has held their story "hostage" by refusing to update until they get a certain number of reviews. What should I do?
A: This is a hard one. Of course, no one owes an author reviews, and this sort of thing is considered cringey, and endlessly mocked, for a reason. However, please try to do some perspective-taking and practicing empathy here. Authors are having to put out PSAs on this site and others just to try and get people to engage with their content. Imagine being a musician, getting on stage, performing song after song, and being met with silence, or maybe a single courtesy golf clap here or there. You'd start to doubt yourself, wouldn't you? You might feel inclined to stop playing unless you start getting an indication people actually care about your music, because performing to utter silence is absolutely humiliating. The manner of doing so is all wrong in this case, but try to show a bit of compassion, and imagine how awful, how utterly crushed the author must have been to do this in the first place.
It is definitely your right to not engage with the fic/author anymore, especially if you had been reviewing before the fic got taken 'hostage' and felt the author wasn't grateful for your comments. But if you wanted to be especially kind, you could take some time to try and lift the author up instead, and show them that even if others are not leaving comments, the fic ultimately does mean something to you. It just might be enough for the author to rethink their position.
Q: Why isn't a kudos enough?
A: It's not that a kudos isn't enough, per se: we all enjoy getting likes. But to continue my metaphor above, well... when you perform music, a cheer does feel very different than a courtesy golf clap, you know? You appreciate the golf claps, they are very kind and always welcome, but cheers, "YEAH!"s, and such are what you really live for. And a standing ovation? That could literally change your entire opinion on your art.
Q: I want to leave a comment, but I'm really scared/don't know how/don't know what to say.
A: That's totally okay. Below, I give some ideas of what to say, but keep in mind that if you really don't know what to say, emoji are totally fine! A ♥️ is still really great and will make us smile. Put some keysmashes! Put in just a ton of exclamation points and nothing else! "AHHH OMG!" Those are all perfectly fine!
BUT, if you want to leave something a little more in-depth, here are some great places to start! Trust me, fanfic writers LOVE all of these and would be delighted to get these comments.
ASK QUESTIONS! "Does this mean x?" or "I'm curious, when x said y, is that a sign that z is at play?"
Tell us how you felt while reading the story/chapter. If we made you cry in a particularly sad scene, PLEASE TELL US FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WE LOVE THAT!
If you are in a Discord or other space that's talking about the story, tell us what you/your mutuals/your friends are saying about it. This is a great idea for if you don't know what to say! Even just a "we never shut up about this fic in the Discord" is wonderful to hear.
Tell us what drew you in to the fic (did you like the summary? Was it recced somewhere?) and what made you stay.
Say something you found unique/intriguing about the fic. Maybe you liked the characterization, or the author did a really good job of setting the scene. Let them know!
Make a personal connection to the text, especially if the author wrote something that felt very real to your lived experience.
YELL IN ALL CAPS THAT YOU WANT TO HURT THE VILLAIN OR HUG THE SUFFERING WOOBIE OR SMACK THE MAIN PAIRING FOR BEING OBLIVIOUS ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!
If this story has changed something for you, tell us. If it changed how you see a character, made you ship a ship you never thought of before, changed how you see canon, opened your eyes to a societal issue, gave you a line you think about a lot- please tell us!
Indulgently play along with our cliffhangers. Pretend you don't know that the character will be fine. Pretend that we would actually do it and you're SO SCARED RN for this character.
Wanna know a secret? Wanna know a writer's catnip? Want to know an instant way to make a writer print out your comment for motivation to read later? Quote/paraphrase/reference a bit of text that you loved and tell us your exact thoughts and emotions on it, why you loved it, etc. Quote half the damn chapter back at us in the comments and we will probably propose marriage to you on the spot tbh.
Remember, if you truly can't think of anything to say, just a single emoji still does wonders!!
Hope this guide helps! Happy commenting!
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I don't speak for everyone -- I'm sure some creators appreciate this kind of thing -- but I wanted to talk about people who send artists, writers, and other creators online "when are you going to make more" messages. Things like:
When are you going to update this fic?
Why haven't you posted art recently?
When are you going to draw the thing you said you'd draw?
Why haven't you followed through on my request?
Again, I'm sure there are some people out there who see these kinds of inquiries as motivating, as evidence that people are interested in what they make. And I don't doubt that most people sending these kinds of messages mean well. But I want to point out that this often comes across as entitled, inconsiderate, and demanding.
Most people making creative fan works (like fan art and fanfiction) have life commitments -- jobs, relationships, school, life events, personal projects, and their own health and wellbeing. Making art can be a stress reliever, but that can become stressful when people start demanding for more. For me, personally, if I haven't posted anything in a while due to life circumstances or poor health, seeing people ask when I'm going to post again just makes me feel guilty and stressed. It certainly doesn't make me write any faster.
If you want to show support for a creator who hasn't shared much recently, try this instead:
Compliments and engagement on their past works (if you've already seen/read it, a "coming back to this again, it's still great" comment never goes amiss)
If they haven't posted in a while, let them know you hope they're doing okay. but only if you actually care how they're doing as a person and not just as a stalled content machine.
Instead of asking when an update is coming, something like "I love this work (for xyz reasons), if you do continue it I'll be excited." This gets at the encouraging angle without sounding demanding.
Please don't treat each other like content mills that have inconvenienced you by stalling. We get enough of that from capitalism :\
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