Not our kind of thing
Author: achwieloustig | Artist: Jollyrolls
Posting on Thursday March 21
Dean and Sam are on their way to a hunt in Philadelphia when Cas joins them. They work the case together which is convenient because Dean is not at the top of his game. While figuring out (and repressing) his feelings regarding Cas he just can't concentrate on the case. A case that starts as their usual hunt and ends with them dealing with a completely different kind of evil: human criminals.
Keep reading for a sneak preview!
When Dean woke up he was clinging onto an unmoving body. It took his sleepy brain a few seconds to realize that this body was Cas'. Obviously he scrambled away from him as quickly as humanly possible.
"Hello Dean," Cas said in the same way he always did, which right now was just not appreciated.
"Yes, hello Dean,'' Sam said from somewhere behind Cas. Dean couldn't see him, but he was sure that Sam could see him. Them. And that was even more horrifying than the fact that this whole thing had happened.
He self consciously cleaned away a little pool of drool off Cas' button down. (Not even his coat, no his fucking shirt. He had drooled all over that guys' abs. Someone please kill him, seriously.) Cas didn't seem to mind, but Cas also didn't get anything human really, least of all the concept of embarrassment and maybe privacy. He wouldn't understand that he didn't want to spend one of his more embarrassing moments of the year in his brother's company.
He hoisted himself up on his elbows and looked over Cas' body in order to glare intimidatingly at his brother. Needless to say his brother was not intimidated. In fact, he was the opposite of intimidated, grinning like an absolute asshole. At least one of them was having fun. He had probably taken pictures, that sick fuck. He surely wasn't above collecting blackmail material.
"You have a bit of," Cas made a vague gesture at the area around Dean's mouth. Then he fucking swiped his thumb over the corner of Dean's mouth and then wiped that thumb off on the cheap motel sheets. Dean's mouth fell wide open in shock. Sam was biting his fist, holding back laughter. Cas was content.
Why in god's name was Dean still in that fucking bed? He got out quickly after he had had that thought, blessing his habit of sleeping in yesterday's clothes.
"Personal space Cas, seriously," he said, because he had to say something, however stupid it may be.
Thankfully, Sam pointed out exactly how stupid it was.
"You were the one hugging him, Dean. How about you take your own advice?"
Dean glared at Sam, at the floor, at the back of Cas’ head, but none of these things seemed particularly impressed by him. "Whatever. I'm going to take a shower." He stormed into the bathroom and did not slam the door.
Cas, that bastard could at least have had the decency to pick an ugly vessel.
(continue reading on Ao3 on Thursday March 21)
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Chapter 10
Summary: The morning after...
Note: Elijah and Gavin are half-siblings for plot reasons, I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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The sun beamed through your blinds, impossibly bright due to the fallen snow. Your eyes fluttered as you woke, slowly being pulled out of the inky black of unconsciousness. Your head was pounding as you slid it against your pillow. Although… you didn’t remember your pillow being this firm.
The quiet hum of a thirium pump filled your ears and your eyes shot open. A comfortable weight was draped across your shoulder. As you slowly regained your senses, you realized it was an arm. Connor’s arms were wrapped securely around you.
Your gaze snaked up to look at Connor, who was bathed in the early morning light. He opened one eye, and his mouth curved into a small smile when he caught you staring. “Good morning, Doctor,” Connor murmured, as his free hand came up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His other hand gently stroked your back.
You pushed yourself off his chest, and his grip loosened to allow you to roll to the other side of the bed. You attempted to hide the blush that invaded your cheeks, “What time is it?”
“It is approximately eight AM and, while you were sleeping, you missed exactly thirty-six calls from Detective Reed,” Connor informed you, and your eyes widened. You forgot to tell him you made it home.
You slapped your nightstand, clawing around for your phone. You slumped back onto your mattress, your back facing Connor and your phone cradled in your hand. You weighed your options regarding Gavin, deciding that sending him a picture as proof of life was sufficient. You pulled your phone away from you, recoiling from the image that appeared. The area around your nose had turned a reddish-purple, surely to darken within the coming days. Your eyes traveled lower; the distinct markings of a hand wrapped around your neck greeting you.
Ignoring how your stomach rolled at your reflection, you threw up a peace sign with your unoccupied hand and snapped a picture, hoping it would be enough to placate Gavin.
You swung your legs over the side of your bed, wincing slightly from the movement. Everything hurts. Almost as if he had been reading your mind Connor spoke as he stood, gently smoothing the covers, “How are you feeling this morning, Doctor?”
“Shitty,” you replied, legs wobbly as you pushed yourself off your mattress. Connor was at your side in an instant, ready to catch you. You waved him away as you made your way to the kitchen, hoping that eating would somehow ease the throbbing inside your skull.
“I could make you breakfast,” he offered, “I would’ve earlier, but I didn’t want to disturb your slumber.”
You raised an eyebrow, “Do you know how to cook?”
He paused, “Well, no, but I’m sure I could figure it out.”
“I think I’ll just go for some toast this morning— putting out a kitchen fire isn’t high on my to-do list today,” you grinned, watching as Connor got to work preparing your breakfast. You moseyed over to the coffee maker, mindlessly going through the steps to acquire your daily dose of caffeine.
A knock from your front door startled you, nearly causing you to drop your mug filled to the brim. Connor strode over to the door, prying it open to reveal another android.
“Delivery for—”
The android was cut off by Connor grabbing the bag out of the android’s hands and shutting the door. Your jaw dropped, “That wasn’t very nice, Connor.”
He pursed his lips before laying the bag across the back of one of the bar stools and returning to the toaster. The toast jumped up, nearly causing you to drop your mug for a second time.
Connor set a plate in front of you, neatly buttered and perfectly cooked toast adorned it. You gave a polite round of applause, “Very good— I’m impressed.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Connor replied, a small smile gracing his features. He grabbed the bag off the back of the bar stool before disappearing into the bathroom.
He emerged from the bathroom wearing his usual Cyberlife uniform and you deflated slightly. You were secretly going to miss seeing Connor in a more casual outfit.
“You seem disappointed, Doctor,” Connor commented as he sauntered over to you, observant as always.
You sighed heavily, resting your chin on your hand, “Your casual look was a nice change of pace.”
He leaned on the island next to you, “Maybe you can convince Kamski to consider a different wardrobe.”
You rolled your eyes, venom dripping from your words, “I doubt he would listen to anything I have to say.”
Connor’s grin slipped, noticing how your mood soured.
You were quick to remedy the situation, anything to bring that smile back, “But maybe he’ll listen to you.” You nudged his shoulder before sliding out of your chair, “I should go get changed.” Connor’s gaze followed you as you stalked off to your bedroom.
You shut the door softly behind you before deciding to check your phone, discovering that Gavin had called you two more times. You rolled your eyes before calling him back, heading over to your closet, and flicking through the hangers.
It rang twice before he picked up. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He hissed, slightly out of breath.
“Excuse me?” You raised an eyebrow and paused.
Gavin let out a dry laugh. “You got nearly strangled to death yesterday and now you have some random dude in your bed, wearing what looks like my shirt, by the way,” he chided, and you knew that he was moving his hands faster than his mouth could move.
You bristled, his accusations causing you to flush, “Are you done now?”
“Yeah,” he panted. There was rustling on the other end. He’s definitely pacing.
“Good,” you replied through gritted teeth, “Connor drove me home last night and I allowed him to stay over last night after he saved my life, unlike some people.” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth. You knew that he wanted so desperately to help you, but he couldn’t. Anger quickly suppressed the guilt that had nipped at your heartstrings, and you ground your teeth.
“Sweetheart…”
“I can’t do this right now,” you cut him off. “By the way,” you mimicked his earlier tone, “I’m going to see your brother later today— I’ll tell him you said ‘hi’.” Gavin called your name, but you hung up before he could say anything else. You let out a frustrated sigh before tossing your phone onto your bed. Goddamn asshole.
Your heart was pounding as you got dressed, replaying your conversation with Gavin over and over again. Your holster laid neatly on your dresser caught your eye, and you chewed your lip. You didn’t think you’d need it, but you could never be too sure with Elijah. With a huff, you clicked your holster onto your belt, the familiar weight at your side providing a morsel of comfort.
You slapped some concealer on your nose, hoping that the bruises beginning to form wouldn’t be too visible before adjusting your turtleneck as high as it could go. You did not need Elijah asking about those, you cringed just thinking about the smug comments he would throw at you, especially the ones aimed at your failed relationship with his brother.
You found Connor at the kitchen sink, roughly scrubbing your plate and mug. “You don’t have to do that,” you mentioned, sidling up beside him. He set the mug down and turned to you.
“I apologize if I caused some strain in your relationship with Detective Reed,” he avoided your gaze.
You frowned, “Gavin’s an asshole who needs to mind his own business.”
“I should have left last night,” he whispered, and your frown deepened.
“I needed you here,” you gripped his bicep, begging him to look at you, “who else was going to tend to my wounds and make sure I didn’t drink myself into a stupor.” The corner of his mouth turned up as his eyes met yours.
You grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the door, “C’mon, we’re going to be late.” He grabbed your car keys from the rack before following you out the front door, which locked with a soft click behind you.
You fished around the center console as Connor drove, looking for your sunglasses. The sun reflected off the freshly fallen snow nearly blinding you and making your newly formed headache much worse. Thanks, Gavin.
After what felt like an eternity, you whipped out your sunglasses, victorious. You turned towards Connor, “You think Kamski will be pissed if I show up in sunglasses?”
The smile that you love so much appeared and he glanced at you, “I believe it is usually considered disrespectful for one to wear sunglasses indoors.”
“Good,” you smirked as you slid them on.
You were quiet for a while, mustering up the courage to confront Connor about this morning. You tapped your fingers against your thigh, “I’m sorry about this morning… You could’ve just pushed me away.”
Connor’s gaze flickered over to you before returning to the road, “I don't mind, Doctor. As you said, you needed me there and I was happy to assist.”
You felt the blush creep up your cheeks and you whispered a ‘thank you’ before turning your gaze back out the window. You committed the feeling of waking up in Connor’s arms to memory, secretly hoping that, maybe one day, that’s how you’d wake up every morning.
Connor parked your car next to the curb in front of Hank’s house, careful not to block the driveway. Not that Hank used his driveway anyways— his vehicle was parked mostly in the yard, almost as if he jumped the curb.
Snow crunched under your shoes as you walked up to the front door, Connor following closely behind you. You pressed the doorbell longer than necessary, a grin gracing your features as Hank yanked open the front door with a glare.
“Mornin, sunshine,” you greeted as Hank rolled his eyes.
“Good morning, Lieutenant,” Connor echoed from behind you.
Hank stepped aside, allowing you to enter, “You two look fuckin ridiculous together.” He shut the door behind you, allowing some reprieve from the biting cold outside.
A whistling came from the kitchen window, and you raised your brow at the trash bag covering it, “What happened? You party too hard one night?”
Hank grunted before throwing a thumb in Connor’s direction. Connor gave a sheepish look, avoiding your gaze. Before you could ask him about it, the familiar sound of paws skidding around the corner caught your attention.
“Sumo!” You beamed, leaning down and opening your arms to greet him.
Sumo charged, hurriedly meeting your embrace. You buried your hands in his fur as you returned his ecstatic greeting. He bumped your heads together and you winced.
Connor knelt beside you, taking over your duties of petting Sumo. You squeezed his shoulder as you straightened and followed Hank into the kitchen.
“You alright?” Hank’s eyes linger over your features.
You scoffed, the wooden chair scraping against the linoleum as you pulled it out. You plopped down before answering, “I’m fine, just a concussion.”
“That explains the sunglasses… You really think this plan of yours is gonna work?” He questioned, pulling a travel mug out of a cabinet before turning to the coffee pot.
“Hell no,” you replied as you ran a hand through your hair, “but it’s worth a shot.”
He poured some coffee into his mug before shutting it tightly and turning back to you. Hank lowered his voice, “You sure you wanna do this?”
You bit the inside of your cheek, “No, but I’m gonna do it anyway.” Hank chuckled, and a grin wormed its way onto your features. “How are you and him?” you asked as you jerked your head towards Connor, who had moved to the couch to continue petting Sumo.
“He’s not that bad when he’s not breaking into my house,” Hank grunted, and you huffed out a laugh.
Connor entered the kitchen, coming to a halt beside you, and dusted off the dog hair that had covered his jacket. “I think Mr. Kamski will prove useful if he decides to be, but the chance of that is very little.”
You threw your head back and let out a laugh. Hank muttered a ‘great’ before grabbing his cup and trudging into the living room. You rose from your chair and moved to wipe off the remaining dog hair, your fingers dancing across the smooth fabric of his jacket.
“Thank you, Doctor,” he whispered. You patted his shoulder and gave him a tight-lipped smile.
“Let's go pay fuckface a visit,” you replied, your eyes hardening, and Connor’s mouth quirked up. You prayed that the visit wouldn’t be eventful, but the probability of that happening was about as small as Elijah actually being useful.
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i love the good aquarium au! i want to see the fishes happy 🩷o🩷 How do the sirens interact with mc in this version? 🩷
Sans: He has to wait much longer than his bad AU counterpart to get to 'play' with her. This aquarium is very safety-focused, and unwilling to have anyone even near his open tank, let alone in it. Despite his obvious obsession and courting displays, Mc remains safely behind thick barriers and high out of his reach- the only chance he'll get is if he proves he can behave, and Mc herself is the one who approaches management about the subject of swimming with him.
Her presence clearly has benefits on him, so she spends a lot of time on his shifts, talking to him from up on the railings or entertaining him through the glass, sometimes just doing homework by the dappled blue light of his tank. He does occasionally attempt to pull her into the water, whether he's breaching and knocking the railing or grabbing a feeding pole and yanking it (in the hopes of yanking her in with it)... but he's always unsuccessful.
It gives them time to get to know one another more. Time for him to mellow, realise that just because she leaves when her shift is over doesn't mean she won't come back. Time, so that when they do finally make physical contact, it's a gentle and mutual experience that leaves him feeling like things in his world are going to be okay.
Red: Again, poor Red has to wait a lot longer in this AU to get to swim with his girlfriend. But not as long as Sans. Since Red's so well behaved with humans, his keepers interact with him a lot more closely (albeit while wearing plenty of hand and arm protection), giving him lots of chances to flirt with her close-up. He gets many more opportunities than Sans to show that he can behave with her; though 'behaving' still includes grabbing her butt if she lets her guard down too long.
... In this AU, the aquarium knows Red considers her his mate. Mc does too. After she was suddenly hired, the first thing management did was put her on a pretty intense and in-depth learning course. Now even if he's flirting like a siren she knows exactly what's going on. Initially, it made the aquarium cautious about letting her swim with him- but since he's never going to be released, it might be alright after all. It does make life easier when it comes to things like giving him medicine; he doesn't bite when it's his mate doing the medical checkup.
Skull: Mc ends up interacting physically with Skull a lot sooner than anyone intended. At first, there was obviously zero contact thanks to his kill, she'd only even THINK of interacting physically with Skull if she was completely confident he'd never hurt her. And that kind of confidence would only come from a long while working with him, perhaps years.
... Thing is. He's a clever boy, he wants Mc's affection. And he won't wait years. He makes a 'hobby' out of breaking security measures and pulling her into the tank- at first it's a terrifying incident, but as it happens over and over, it loses its shock value and becomes something of an in-joke at the aquarium. Especially since he never actually does anything... just pulls her in, cuddles her, then politely sets her back on the side of the tank like nothing happened. No matter what they do, Skull just finds increasingly more and more complicated and innovative ways to snatch her into his pool.
Eventually, they can clearly see he's not going to kill her- and they decide it's probably just easier for everyone if she interacts with him in person. He's going to grab her anyway, may as well let him do it before he finds a way to break every security measure they have.
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