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#a huge age gap with ewan
ceciliatllis · 1 year
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idk who needs to hear this but turning a female character into a predictable, tired trope of being an emotionless witch isn’t the revolutionary storyline you think it would be. alys can be cunning, powerful, and fascinating while also finding common ground and an alliance with aemond in that they have both been judged by others all their lives and have been viewed as outsiders. imo, it’s way more interesting to watch an unlikely bond form between two complicated people rather than watching a character being tricked throughout an entire arc (which would be incredibly boring and dull). people argue that alys would not have fallen in love with him as he “killed her family” but there’s no indication that she and her family were close as she was a servant and the more logical scenario is that they ignored/mistreated her as she represented a living embodiment of shame and dishonor for their house (by being a bastard). you don’t have to enjoy them as a romantic pairing but acting as if the only options are to turn her into a “cottage-core girl” or some cliché example of what a male writer thinks a Strong Female Character is (aka one who’s absent of the ability to develop feelings or emotional investment in others) doesn’t make sense and feels simplistic to me. she can be nuanced, complex, gifted in witchcraft/magical abilities while also forming a real bond with aemond. all of these relationships are “problematic” compared to modern-day norms and values but that doesn’t mean they can’t be intriguing to watch or have to be lazily-written solely because people can’t handle an unconventional love story. the idea that a female character can’t have any romance and has to be emotionally empty in order to be riveting and empowering is uninteresting and heavily overplayed in media. hope the writers see that and add more dimensions to their relationship rather than merely basing it on deceit.
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pynkhues · 2 years
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still thinking about Connor saying he didn't see Logan for 3 years. What was happening?? Was Connor with his mom? Boarding school? Why didn't Logan see Connor??? I'm guessing this was a time of huge growth for the company, maybe when Logan transitioned from multi millionaire to billionaire. And it probably ended when Logan married Caroline. Ah I just have SO many questions
Gosh, I'm still thinking about it too, anon. I'm obsessed with how well thought-out all the backstory is (would literally kill to get to read the series bible - I feel like it's probably a beast of a document, haha) and every time they drop a tidbit I become the Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia meme.
Three years is such a specific period of time, I feel like it gives the impression that Logan left Connor, but then came back and got him? Something I think that's pretty supported by Connor being so involved with the golden trio and knowing Caroline's estate like he does. Surely if Logan had abandoned Connor entirely in his childhood, Connor would've said that, but to instead put a timeframe on it implies something else. A sort of contained period of time as opposed to an ongoing abandonment.
I think you're probably right in that Connor probably got lost in the shuffle of one of Waystar's big expansions, and was probably neglected in the early days of Logan and Caroline's relationship (after all, we've now seen how swept up both Logan and Caroline get with new relationships, to the detriment of everything else in their lives).
My inclination is probably that Logan and Connor's mother separated in Connor's late childhood / tween years – maybe when he was around ten or eleven – and it wasn't until Logan decided he was setting up house with Caroline, that he wanted Connor back at his side. It likely timed with Connor's mother being institutionalised and maybe even Logan's falling out with Ewan too.
It makes me curious as to how different Logan was as a father to Connor. If there's a fifteen year age gap between Connor and Kendall like Alan's said, that puts Logan at 25 when he had Connor and 40 when he started having the golden trio. It's a wildly different stage of life, and even more so when you compound it with Logan's ascension in wealth and power. He probably wasn't thinking of his legacy in Connor's childhood and adolescence in the same way he was thinking about it in Kendall, Roman and Shiv's, and having three children to groom and pit against each other with your empire and their mother's aristocratic genes and status is probably much more appealing than one adult-child you already briefly abandoned with a mother who's mentally ill.
I don't know though! What do you guys think?
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pleasereadmeok · 3 years
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This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem.  Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult.  It’s very funny.  It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview.  This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-
Wonderland Interview
Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford.  Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.
Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.
ON A SINGLE MAN
Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.
Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting.  I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans .  Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set.  He’s fucking great.  I love Colin.
We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time.  I was only really fitting in around these guys.  Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.
NH: No I just did more.
MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …
NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it.  I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.
MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’.  I’m proud of that.
NH:  That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.
MG:  Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!
NH:  It’s all down to the fake tan again.  That’s where the performance stems for me.
MG:  That is a review!
NH:  Nothing about the acting, right?
MG:  They didn’t review the film.  It just said “I saw it.  I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”
ON TOM FORD
MG:  Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.
NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.
MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!
NH:  I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him.  And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!
MG:  I love that.  Isn’t that great?  And that’s also like Tom.  He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.
NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK.  And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus!  He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.
MG: It’s so good.  And so good for Colin.  And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well.  But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’  It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.
NH:  It’s very personal to him as well.
MG:  Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard.  There’s a similar age gap.
NH:  He would always say my character is him when he was 18.  He’s connected to every character and he knows them.
MG:  And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.
NH:  Matthew’s read the book, so –
MG:  That’s right!  I have. It is different.  I am always about the script, really.  But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.
NH:  Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out.  And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.
MG:  That’s very true.
NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created.  Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.
MG:   I love it when someone’s like that.  It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine.  He is fucking great.
ON COLIN FIRTH
MG:  Colin was great.  I knew he was going to be good.  The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into.   He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.
NH:  It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.
MG:  I know.  The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation.  And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan.  I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed.  Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE?  ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.
NH:  Yeah, he kept it very quiet.
MG:  The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck?  You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!?  And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’  He was humble.
NH:  It was great.  It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day.  It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.
MG:  It does!
NH:  It’s part of the film, I swear!  And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.
MG:  Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’  But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing.  Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!
NH:  He’s got a lot of love!
ON JULIANNE MOORE
MG:  She’s a fucking hero.  She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.
NH:  All my stuff is with Colin as well.   The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.
MG:  Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working.  She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out.  I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic.  And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.
NH:  He’s a hero.
MG:  He is actually fabulous!  My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert!  Don’t worry about it’.  He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.
ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR
MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working.  I don’t know what that means.  But we never think of ourselves.  When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.
NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.
MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!
NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.
MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.
NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]
MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…
N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.
MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!
NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.
MG: That’s very nice of you.  OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English.  Have a TV show’.  I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.
NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.
MG: Wow!
NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there.  But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.
MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…
NH: [Laughs]
MG: I’d like to know all the chords.
NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.
MG: And back to Dame Judi!
NH: [Laughs]
MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings.  It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.
NH:  Are we still talking about women?
MG:  Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.
NH: I got to do archery.
MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!
NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.
MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.
NH: Yeah man, keep up.
MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.
NH: He’s seen all my work.
MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master.  I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill.  The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs.  I’m so glad I’m not – ha!  Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now.  But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.
ON BRITISH TALENT
MG:  I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work.  Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera.  For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen?  I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house.  I think that keeps you grounded.  As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.
NH:  You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.
MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs].  There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.
NH:  It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.
MG:  And Julianne is playing English.
NH:  it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.
MG:  Yeah, I mean – idiot!  In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times.  But it is odd.   If you think who he probably could have had –
NH:  He probably could have done better than us!
MG:  I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature.  I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively.  And that’s also what makes Britain great.  We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.
NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.
MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!
NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!
MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.
NH:  So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great…  You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?
MG:  My girlfriend loves it.  She’s got me into it.  I mean it’s fucking hilarious.  You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows.  I really like the over 25’s this year.  They’re fucking great.
NH:  Matthew Goode on The X Factor!
MG:  ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’.  But it is great.  But then it’s such a machine.  There is such a turn around.  Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up.  But it is great telly!  Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.
[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.] 
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darling-i-read-it · 4 years
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Kisses
Dan Torrance x reader
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: none I don’t think 
Author’s Note: Wow I love Dan Torrance he is adorable and I love Ewan McGregor. He is also adorable. 
Requested: by anon, Hey pal could I order a dan Torrance fluff? Just somethin cute and precious? I’m a big stan of best friends to lovers so if you wanna do something with that I’m down! Also huge lover of age gaps but you can choose weather you wanna do that or not I know you get a lot of age gap requests :) 
Summary: the request!
Genre: FLUFF
(not my gif)
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   You were in love with your best friend and it was starting to get distracting. You didn’t realize when you met Dan that you were going to fall in love with him but in hindsight you really should have known. There wasn’t much about him that you didn’t love. He was kind, strong, smart, handsome. You had met him when he was at a low point with his drinking and had stuck around since. 
    For that reason, Dan was also in love with you. He was pretty sure that he had always been in love with you, for some reason or another. Yet, you were so much younger than him. He was 10 years older than you, give or take, and while you were completely legal he never thought you would ever want a washed up old drunk as a forever partner. Yet he wanted you to want him like he wanted you. 
    Abra was annoyed often. She was a naturally very happy girl and she had known of Dan since she was a child however she had officially met you before she met him. She had no idea that you knew her childhood friend, or that the boy you never stopped talking about was the same boy who would send Abra sweet messages when she wanted them. She was however annoyed that her friends were so in love with each other that it was practically comical. 
    She likes to go out to ice cream or dinner with the two of you and every time she gets annoyed at the subtle stares, the lingering laughs, the smiles that you reserve for each other. Sometimes she feels like shes intruding in some secret meeting when the two of you talk. 
    She recalled the memories of Dan telling her about you. 
    “Abra she’s so much younger than me.” 
    “I don’t think she even likes me.” 
    “You need to stop trying Abba doo, she will never like me.”
    Abra blew a piece of hair out of her face. As she watched you and Dan talk in the front seat she thought about the conversations she had with you. 
    “Do you think he’s to mature-I mean like, do you think he wants someone his own age? Am I too young for him?”  
    “He is so smart. So smart.”
    “I need to stop telling you about this, you’re just going to tell him.” 
    She got a laugh at the memory. Your hand was flying up in the air as you told a story, something Abra wasn’t paying attention to. She heard the echo of Dans laughter as he drove back Abras house. She watched from the middle seat in the back, made subconscious note of the glances Dan made at you. She almost yelled at him, it was raining and the roads were wet. But she thought better of it because you were laughing so hard at something he had said and there was no point in ruining it. 
    “Ah, looks like this is your spot Abba doo,” you said after a moment. Dan pulled into the driveway and she unbuckled her seat belt.
    “Bye guys!” she said leaning forward to give you both a hug over the chair backs. She turned, ready to leave but her hand slowed as she grabbed the door handle. She took a deep breath in and then turned back, quickly sticking her head between the two front seats. 
    “Abra?” Dan said. 
    “You’re in love with each other, can you please just admit it before I get a call that you’ve gotten into a car crash because Y/N told a funny joke?” She said it very deliberately and then she left, skipping up the driveway and back to her house. 
    You took in a deep breath and Dan stayed silent. After a moment he turned on the car and backed out of the driveway, the sound of rain covering your heavy worry. It took about 3 minutes of driving to break the silence. 
    “It's true. She's..she's right,” you muttered. He almost didn’t hear you over the rain. “But if you want nothing to do with me I understand.” 
    Dan was panicking. But he had to say something. 
    “You don’t-” he took a deep breath and pulled to the side of the mostly empty road. Trees on either side of the road, no cars in sight. It was just the two of you. “-mind that I’m older?” You turned to him, finally daring to look him in the eyes. 
    “You don’t mind that I’m so much younger?” He shook his head. 
    “Not at all. I mean not if you don’t. We’re both adults.” He had told himself that so many times. You were both adults. You could figure it out for yourself. You unbuckled your seat belt and turned your full body to face him. 
    “I don’t mind at all!”
    “And you don’t mind that I'm a drunk?” You pursed your lips and gave him a glare.
    “10 years sober. 10 whole years of you being my friend and being sober and handsome and smart and funny and dammit Dan I love you.” You weren’t sure why you were still talking. You were pretty sure he had admitted that he loved you as well. 
    “I don’t know what on Earth I would do without you. Then and now.” 
    He waited no longer to kiss you. He had waited so long to kiss you and he wasn’t disappointed. You tasted like heaven.     And he, he was the best kisser you knew. You grabbed his flannel and shivered involuntarily. 
    “Are you cold?” he whispered, pulling away.     You shrugged, admiring his face so close to yours. 
    “You did turn off the car,” you whispered. He smiled and you fell back into your seat as he twisted the key to turn the car on. Air filtered and you waited for it to get warmer. He looked at you once more before jerking the car forward. 
    “We should have waited until we got back to do that,” he told you. You raised an eyebrow. 
    “Why is that?”    
    “I’m way too distracted to be driving like a sensible person now I just want to kiss you again.” You took his hand that was on your thigh and brought it to your lips, kissing his knuckles softly. He glanced at you and you gave him an innocent look as you lips pressed against his wrist. 
    “Is this helping?” you inquired. He rolled his eyes. 
    “No it isn’t but I’m not about to tell you to stop.”
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The odds!
Thats a lot but here we go
1. Are looks important in a relationship?
  If i say yes, im vain. If i say no, im lying. But to be truthful, yeah a bit
3. Are you a virgin?
  Lol nope
5. Are you in love?
  Probably. If it feels like this then most likely but who knows
7. Can you commit to one person?
  I would have said no a year ago but now that all im lookin for
9. Describe your perfect mate.
  Mate is a weird word and i hate using it to refer to my partners. BUT my perfect person would have to be kind and understanding of everything about me. I know Im not the easiest person to be with but I do try really hard. Someone who can make me laugh and let me just ramble. Someone who gets that my family has always and will always come first. Someone gentle and soft to balance out my roughness and wildness.
11. Do you ever want to get married?
  I do but if I never have the whole wedding thing, ill be fine. I just want to have my person by my side for the rest of time.
13. Do you get jealous easily?
  Oh hell yeah. Its a talent of mine
15. Do you have any pircings?
  Ive had a few over the years but the only ones if really kept are my industrial bar and my lobes.
17. Do you like kissing in public?
  Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
  Id like to think so
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
  If im going to cheat, then i dont need to be in that relationship
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
  I would really really like to be
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem about you?
  Yes
29. Have you ever cheated on someone? 
  Yeah. Im not a good person by any means
31. Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?
  Is the sky blue?
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
  why yes i have thank you for asking
35. Have you ever kissed soeone older than you?
  Unfortunatly
37. Have you ever liked someone your friends hated?
  I dont actually know atm but just to stay safe ill just say probs
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldnt have?
 Been there, dont that, currently doing that.
41. Have you has sex so far this year?
  Id be very impressed with myself if i managed to convince someone to have sex with me in the first 5 hours of the new year.
43. How long was your longest relationship?
  2.5-3 years. It was a nice time for the most part
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
  6? 
47. How old are you?
  Im 24 and thank you for reminding me to update my bio
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, whats your favorite thing about them?
  This is going to sound dumb but, their presence. Like specifically when i can have some form of small physical contact. I like knowing that they enojoy my company.
51. Is there a boy/girl youd do absolutly everything for?
  Yes! Its a fault of mine
53. Is there someone mad because youre dating/talking to the person you are?
 I dont think so. Some might not approve after recent event but no one is mad
55. Share a relationship story
 Ask for a specific one and I will
57. Biggest thing you want to say to an ex
  Uh lets go with Devin. Im so sorry I made our breakup nasty. I should have just sucked it up and never let you come back but Im so incredibly amazed and proud of the husband and father youve become. Keep it up, Piggy
59. What do you look like? 
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Now you can use my image to catfish people on the internet
61. Whats the first thing you notice in someone?
 Thier nose. I like noses. Then its eyes and smile
63. Whats your definition of “having sex”?
 Nude and touching eachothers genitals/oral/penitration of some kind. If im really liking the person, then some kissing. Mainly just enjoying each others naked bodies i guess
65. Whats your favorite foreplay routine?
 I really like giving oral so i always start with that. Its nice to give my undivided attention to my partner 
67. Whats your idea of the perfect date?
 Doing to an aquarium to see sharks OR going to an art museum. If both are done in the say day, ill probably get on one knee....or both
69. What turns you off?
  heh. thats the sex number. Probably being a huge asshole. Just dont be a prick to me or anyone else and we will be fine
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
 Easy. I was tied up and in a gangbang. Ill spare you the details
73. Whats something sweet youd like somene to do for you?
  Sing and enjoy Brand New songs with me
75. Whats the sweetest thing anyones done for you?
  To name a few:
Learned a Br&New song on the guitar
Given me a huge bag of gummies for my birthday when i expected nothing
Writen poems for me
Let me sob in thier chest and not say anything
77. Whats your opinion about age differences in relationsips?
 The make everything more complicated when the gap is bigger
79. WHen was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
The person I like rn talked about going on a date with someone
81 Who are five people you find attractive?
 I guess they have to be people you can lok up so ill have to say
Tilda Swinton
Ewan McGregor
TheRussianBadger
Natalie Portman
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand IQ from R6 Siege
83. Who was our first kiss?
Erin Hale in middle school. She was a legit crazy
85. Would you ever date someone off of the internet?
I have nd its awful   
Thank you for the ask!
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aion-rsa · 3 years
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How the Star Wars Movie and TV Shared Universe Is Finally Taking Shape
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The future is bright for the Star Wars universe. Free from the Skywalker Saga films, the franchise can now forge a new path, with characters, storylines, and settings that don’t have to tie into Luke and his family drama. In fact, Disney seems to have already planted the seeds for a new type of Star Wars storytelling experience: era-specific shared universes on Disney+ that emulate the interconnectedness of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but inside smaller, more self-contained bubbles.
We saw this start to happen in The Mandalorian season 2, which not only introduced beloved animated characters Ahsoka Tano and Bo-Katan Kryze to live-action but also ended with a teaser for the next Star Wars series, The Book of Boba Fett, which arrives in December. The Book of Boba Fett doesn’t just star the infamous bounty hunter; it’s also a showcase for Ming-Na Wen’s Fennec Shand, an assassin who debuted in the first season of The Mandalorian.
Last December, Disney announced even more Star Wars series, including two others set in the same era as The Mandolorian and Boba Fett. Most importantly, the studio teased how these series could eventually form their own shared universes in the time periods in which they’re set.
The High Republic 
The High Republic era, which is set over 200 years before the Prequel Trilogy, marks a tonal shift for the franchise. Instead of the dreary, rusted feel of a galaxy under the control of the evil Empire, the new High Republic series takes place during a golden age for both the Jedi and the galactic government they serve. There are no Sith to be found (at least not in plain sight), and a progressive Republic is more focused on humanitarian work and the well-being of its citizens than fighting destructive wars. 
A slew of books and comics are already out, with many more coming as the series’ three storytelling “phases” unfold in the next few years. Together, all of these books and comics are meant to tell one complete, interconnected story. Best of all, they share a huge cast of characters that can pop up as protagonists in one tale but cameo in another, just like in the MCU.
Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!
Making things even more interesting is The Acolyte, a new live-action Disney+ series being developed by Russian Doll creator Leslye Headland. The show is teased as “a mystery-thriller that will take the audience into a galaxy of shadowy secrets and emerging dark side powers in the final days of the High Republic era.”
The Acolyte sounds like a finale, of sorts, for everything being set up in the High Republic books and comics, while also acting as a bridge to the prequel movies. Mention of the dark side also suggests this series will cover the return of the Sith, introducing the Dark Lords that operated in the galaxy before Palpatine became the Emperor. And because The Acolyte will exist in a predominantly unexplored period of Star Wars history, with characters whose fates won’t necessarily be tied to the movies, Disney could easily expand this particular shared universe further. The High Republic could actually turn out to be Disney+’s most fruitful Star Wars era.
For the moment, no release date has been set for The Acolyte, but the next wave of High Republic books arrive this summer.
Empire and Rebellion
Obi-Wan Kenobi and Andor, a Rogue One prequel, take place several years after Revenge of the Sith but before the Original Trilogy, and there’s a good chance the Lando series will also be set at some point during this era, with Donald Glover likely returning as the charming scoundrel. (While Disney hasn’t confirmed any details about the latter project besides the fact that it’s happening, the studio has been trying to make a Lando spinoff with Glover since Solo.) The timelines won’t line up quite as cleanly, though. Obi-Wan Kenobi takes place nine years before A New Hope, while the events of Andor will unfold four years after that show.
But rumors suggest that Ewan McGregor will appear as Obi-Wan in Andor, too. Far from an official confirmation, it’s still an intriguing possibility if true. With these series set to premiere in 2022, Disney could make the Jedi Master the character who ties both (or all three) pre-A New Hope shows together, just like Mando is the common denominator across all of the post-Return of the Jedi projects. Could all of these series lead to an eventual big event that would set Obi-Wan, Cassian Andor, and Lando on their paths to the Original Trilogy era?
Read more
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If Disney wanted to eventually connect the pre-Hope shows to the Mando ones for an even more interconnected universe on Disney+, it wouldn’t even need a specific event or series to bridge the two eras. The Original Trilogy is already there as the connective tissue. New characters introduced in Obi-Wan, Andor, and Lando could jump from one era to the other just as easily as Prequel-era characters Bo-Katan and Ahsoka have. This is especially true for characters introduced in Andor, which takes place about 14 years before The Mandalorian. That’s a relatively small time gap in Star Wars terms. And the inverse is already happening: Fennec Shand will appear in animated form in May’s The Clone Wars spinoff series The Bad Batch, which is set just after the Prequels as well.
The New Republic
Disney has already ordered two other series set during the same time period as The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, which take place five years after Return of the Jedi. The intriguing Rangers of the New Republic was reportedly conceived as a spinoff series for Mando associate Cara Dune before actor Gina Carano was fired from the franchise earlier this year, but that probably won’t be the only connection these series have with each other. Meanwhile, Ahsoka is poised to continue the hero’s search for Grand Admiral Thrawn right where it left off in The Mandalorian season 2.
Disney isn’t just trying to cash in on the success of The Mandalorian with spinoffs for the show’s most popular characters, though. The company has also confirmed that these particular shows will ultimately converge in a big story event. Are Mando, Ahsoka, Bo-Katan, Boba Fett, Fennec Shand, and friends eventually going to team up against Grand Admiral Thrawn in an epic Avengers-like finale? It sure feels that way.
Today, Marvel fans take this shared universe storytelling structure for granted, but this is still very new territory for Star Wars. Whether it works or not will likely depend on how many Mandalorian fans flock to Boba Fett later this year. But Disney is betting big on this approach. 
On Disney+, Star Wars has found new ways to explore the galaxy far, far away while introducing us to new characters and places to love. Now comes the next frontier: the shared universe, a first step into a larger world.
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The Galaxy Beyond
Not all upcoming Star Wars projects fit snugly in a particular era or shared universe. There are outliers, like Patty Jenkins’ upcoming movie Rogue Squadron, which will “introduce a new generation of starfighter pilots as they earn their wings and risk their lives in a boundary-pushing, high-speed thrill-ride, and move the saga into the future era of the galaxy.” That last bit suggests that the highly-anticipated film will explore what happens next after the Sequel Trilogy, but we’ll find out for sure when it hits theaters in Christmas 2023. 
More elusive is Taika Waititi’s untitled Star Wars movie. Besides an intriguing Star Wars logo made of stone, Disney has teased virtually nothing about the Thor: Ragnarok director’s take on Star Wars. It doesn’t even have a release date. All we know is that it’s in development. 
Meanwhile, Visions, an anthology of anime-inspired short films due out this year, and A Droid Story, which “will introduce us to a new hero, guided by legendary duo R2-D2 and C-3PO,” will join The Bad Batch as the latest animated offerings from the galaxy far, far away. All of these series are destined for Disney+.
The post How the Star Wars Movie and TV Shared Universe Is Finally Taking Shape appeared first on Den of Geek.
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benestrella · 7 years
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Back in the days when I’m so young, 
Ang nareremeber  ko lang na i-wish palagi taon taon ay ang takbo ng pag-iisip ko at ang warrior kung katawan. haha (Yes! Tama po kayo ng nabasa.) Kasama po talaga ang utak. Di nawawala sa panalangin ko yan linggo linggo sa buong taon. Eh tangina kasi, di ko kasi makontrol minsan ang rampa ng isip ko. (hallucination ba tawag dun? haha Di ko sure). May oras talaga na kung saan-saan napupunta ang gusto ng isipan ko, lutang, madumi ako mag isip pero walang output kaya ang kalalabasan minsan ay humihina ang katawan ko at nagkakasakit. 
Ang pinagtataka ko lang. Mahilig ako magpray sa family ko. Lalo na syempre sa sarili ko. At bihira ako magdasal para sa mga kaibigan ko. Pati na rin sa girlfriend ko. Pwera nalang kung may sakit sila or may problema sila. Ang ibig ko lang sabihin, napaka-blessed ko masyado sa mga kaibigan at girlfriend ko. Minsan ako lang talaga yung nawawala sa sirkulasyon or hindi nagpapakita dahil sa kakagala ko. haha Saka may jowa na ako. 
Masaya na ako sa biyayang ipinagkaloob sa akin sa kakaunting ‘ka-repa’ na meron ako pero sulit naman kung ko-computin. At sulit din sila sa akin. haha
Kapag nag-aadopt ako ng mas positive crowd and perspective. Malaki ang changes.
Kung tatanungin niyo lang. Nasa honor/top or dean’s lister ang mga kaibigan ko. (Walang halong biro). Ako lang talaga ang hinde. hahaha De joke. Nung elementary ako, nag third place kaya ako. (Wag ka.) Ang sipag ko kaya nun.  Pagmalaki niyo naman ako oh. haha
Kaya na-realize ko ngayon. 
Matalino ba ako kaya mga kasama ko matatalino o binigyan lang talaga ako ng mga taong magbibigay sa akin ng malaking help o impact sa sarili ko?
Until now,Ang sagot,  I don’t know. 
Ah basta. Subukan kong ielaborate senyo. 
Sige game. Try naten. Balikan ang nakaraan kung may kwenta ba talaga ang mga kaibigan ko. haha
Unahin naten nung panahon sa elementary ako. (Hindi naman kasi pwedeng mauna ang college eh, diba?). 
During my school year. Kadikit at katropa ko noon yung mga matatalino sa klase. Para sa akin, matalino sila. Isa si Angelito diyan. (Di ko na alam kung nasan na siya ngayon. Dead or alive pa ba siya? Napakulit niya noon. As in. Pero di niya kaya ang powers ko. Mas bully ako. Ako lang ang bumabasag ng kulit niya noon. Siya kaya ang dahilan kaya na-motivate ako na mag aral ng todo. At kengkoy na matalino pa siya. Dahil na-inspired ako sa kanya, nagpakabibo ako ng husto noon sa klase. Nagsipag ako. Sinacrifice ko muna ang bakasyon with basketball sports ko at nagfocus sa pagpapakahenyo. Sinubukan kong magmemorya ng mga words na mga weaknesses ko. Tiniis ko ang hirap ng buhay sa Math. Ginapang ko ang pag-aaral ng salitang English. Tapos  sinabayan ko pa ng ka-comedyhan.  At sa kasamang palad, bumaliktad ang mundo, siya naman ang nagpabaya sa pag-aaral. Malaki ang pasasalamat ko sa kanya, kay Angelito. Tunay ko siyang kaibigan na hindi ko na nakikita hanggang sa ngayon. Ewan ko kung tunay pa baa ng tawag dun? Nang dahil sa kanya hindi ako matututo sa kahinaan ko. Marami din siyang tutorial saken noon kung paano gumawa ng English sentence. Kapiling ko siya palagi sap ag aaral. Para kaming magkapatid sa sobrang dikit. Kasama ko din siya noon sa mga Science Quiz bee pati MTAP. Kaya natutunan ko sa kanya. If you want to be your best you must surround yourself with the best. But in terms of our friendship, take note, siya ang dumikit sa akin. Ano kaya ang ibig sabihin nun? Sobrang huge ng influence niya sa akin. Siguro nga magaling lang talaga ako pumili ng kaibigan. haha Marahil may mga kaibigan din kayong mas matalino pa sa mga kaibigan ko, pero syempre mahirap sabihin kung sino ang mas pinakamagaling. Diyan makikita na may mga tao lang talagang huhubog ng pagkatao naten. Si Angelino na katunog ng benito, isa siya sa naging inpirasyon ko kaya ako nagsumikap mag-aral. 
Then when the summer come, hindi mawawala syempre sa bakasyon ko ang basketball at makasama sina Empoy at toytoy. Mga baliw kong mga kaibigan. Nung na-achieved ko na ang mga mithiin ko nung elementary, (Bali nasa tugatog na ako nun). nagkaroon na ko ng butas para magbasketball ulit. 
Sa kanila ko natutong makipagbasag ulo. May utak din naman sila. Hindi sila bobo. Magaling dumiskarte ng pera lalo na sa katarantaduhan. Pero sila ang dahilan kung bakit ako gago. Sila ang nagbigay ng binhi sa akin upang maging matapang sa buhay. Dito ko napagtanto na may mga kaibigan tayong magtuturo sa atin kung paano ang tumapang at magpaiyak. Minsan hindi yan maibibigay ng mga miyembro ng pamilya. Wala akong masabi sa dalawa kong kaibigan na yan, toytoy at empoy. Noon, kapag tatlo kaming magkakasama, para akong bata-bata nila dahil ako lang ang pinakabata sa grupo. Ang mahalaga lang sa akin, kung di ko sila nakilala, malamang mahinang tao ako ngayon sa world of pikunan at asaran. 
Damay na rin siyempre ang ugali pati sa pananamit ang nahawa ko sa kanila. My friend with which I surround myself can heavily influence my outlook, values, emotions, and behaviors. Ganun!
Dako naman tayo sa highschool life. Mas na-challenge na ako ngayon dito. Yung husay at talino ko nung elementary, (Wow, husay talaga?) ay bitin at kulang pa pala iyon nung tumungtong ako ng highschool. Sumampal sa akin ang katotohanan na mas marami pa palang magaling kaysa sa akin at sa mga kakilala ko. Ang taas lang talaga ng tingin ko sa sarili ko. Kala ko alam ko na lahat. 
Pagkagraduate ko naman kasi nung elementary, bigla akong nag-join sa industriya ng breakdance. Naganap ito nung buwan ng Summer. Although, delikado ang ganung bagay. Salamat nalang, dahil di naman ako pinigilan ng mga magulang ko doon na kahit na umiikot ikot ang katawan ko at napupudpod ang bunbunan ko sa breakdance. Ginabayan pa rin ako nila. 
Samakatuwid, bago ako umapak sa high school. Pinagdaanan ko muna ang buhay basagulero. Take note ah, 2 months lang ang summer bago ako tumungtong ng high school. Pero marami na akong nagawa. Kung saan saan ako napunta. Nakahilig ko na ang sumayaw. Magpuyat sa walang kakwenta kwentang bagay. Mambabae. Sa loob ng bakasyon na iyon, ang daming nangyari sa buhay ko na hindi ako nakapag handa sa high school. Naalala ko tuloy, umiiyak ako kay mama dahil parang ayoko nang pumasok dahil di ko kaya ang high school, nawala sa focus ang kokote ko at buong kalamnan ko. haha Buti nalang naging matapang ang mudraks ko at di niya ako hinayaang tumigil sa pag aaral. Binigyan niya ako ng motivation. Haaay! at sa awa ni God, nakapasok naman ako sa High school. 
That situations where I can choose, I was benefited greatly by consciously deciding what kind of people with which I surround myself. Masaya akong maging kaibigan ang mga kababata ko. May negative things lang talaga na mapagdadaanan ako pero may choice pa din naman ako. 
Pagtapos neto. 
In highschool, naging kaibigan ko si Jestine. Isang kupal na tao pero napakatalino.
Nung kelan lang, nakasama ko siya sa bar sa MOA pati nung January 2 2017. Uminom lang kame saglit. Kasama namen si Keeshia na Cum laude ng St paul sa college at Suma Cum laude naman nung high school namen na si Ralph Palomaria. Syempre hindi mawawala ang girlfriend ko. Kasama din siya. 
Nakilala ko si Jestine nung nasa likod kame ng room na ilang beses siyang paulit ulit sa sign of the cross. May muntikan nap ala daw siyang mapatay. 
Kinabiliban ko ang buhay ng mga kaibigan ko na mababa lang ang ginugugol sa social life pero madaming palang naachieve sa buhay kahit hindi magpost sa social media. Si jestine at keeshia ang mga tunay kong kaibigan na nagpupump-up saken kapag down ako. Kapag nag-aaway kame ni angeline or naghihiwalay sa problema. Sila minsan ang takbuhan ko kung may problema. Sa inuman namen sa bar nung kelan lang, kinukwento nila ang mga na-achieved nila. Tang ina, nahiya ako. Ang dami na nilang naabot. May naipundar na silang bahay pero ako wala pa. hahaha Although si Jestine palang ang may anak sa grupo. Pero ang iba nag-iinvest na para sa kinabukasan nila. Ako wala pa. hahaha Sa totoo lang, sila? they stretch me out of my comfort zone. Sabi ko nga nung nakaraan sa blog ko, ikwento mo lang sa akin ang istoryang gusto mong sabihin, agad agad akong maniniwala. Kaya lahat ng mga achievements nila. Sobrang naiinggit ako. Kung di ako susubok at pagbabasehan ko lang ang estado ko. Malaki ang pagkakaiba. Marami na naman akong nasimulan. Didiligan ko nalang talaga. Progress. Progress. Progress.  Sa usapan namen, it changed my whole world. 
Marami pa akong makikilala. 
I can immerse myself in a group of people who lift me up, give me energy energy energy gap, and support me, help me see a more positive perspective, encourage me to be a better person, and aid me in achieving my dreams. 
At bonus pa na iba din ang perspective nila sa buhay. Mas lalo akong humanga. Kinompare ko ng slight yung buhay ko sa kanila. Sobrang layo. Masama man magkumpara pero kung iisipin nga talaga. Ang dami ko ng nauubos na oras dito sa kinakaupuan ko. Sa perspektibo nila sa buhay, natutunan kong magkakaiba nga talaga tayo ng pananaw sa mga nangyayari pero iisa lang ang mithiin naten. Ang guminhawa ang buhay at sumaya. 
So, I’m serious about surrounding myself with positive people today.  Namimili na ako ngayon. Ang oras ko, eherhiya ko at ang aking attitude are my most valuable resources and the tools with which I create my life.  Wala ng iba pa.  If someone cannot add to my life in a positive way, they aren’t in my life any more than absolutely necessary.
Tungtong na tayo sa college. Dali excited na ako. 
Nung sabado naman, nakasama ko ang college friends ko na si Macoy at Errol. Tang ina ang lulupit ng mga yan. 
Si Errol lang una kong naging kakilala sa kolehiyo nung unang araw. Kwento niya nga nung nag inuman kame last time sa bahay ni Macoy, tawang tawa daw siya nung nakilala niya ako. haha Mantakin mo ba naman, bigla ko siyang inaya sa library para magbasa pag walang subject. (ambibo ko diba) Akalain niyo yun. haha Silid aklatan kagad ang una kong gustong puntahan. Yan ang gustong makatapos. haha Pero habang tumatagal siguro nakikilala na niya ang ugali ko. Di niya siguro nagustuhan ang mga harsh jokes ko kaya medyo umiwas din siya. Alam ko sa sarili kong magaling ako .Bilib ako sa talino ko. Alam ko ang level ng utak ko. haha Di ako nakikipagtalinuhan. Marunong lang talaga akong umunawa sa ibang bagay. Pero siya talaga ang malupit kong friend. Masaya ako sa kanya. Masaya din ako sa buhay na pinili niya. Kahit na taliwas sa paniniwala ng iba. Masaya pa din ako sa kanila. 
Si Errol may sarili ng bahay na hinuhulugan. Kumikita din siya sa passion niya sa anime drawing. Talagang nakakahanga ang buhay niya. Nakapasa siya ng Architecture at nakagraduate. Naging architect pero mas pinili niya pa rin ang Anime Drawing. Ang taas ng paghanga ko sa kanya. Ibang klase magkaroon ng awesome friend.  Binibigyan ako ng new experience kahit na magkausap lang kame at pati na rin ng mga new ideas para sa buhay. 
Blessing na sa akin na nagkausap kame muli. 
Dako naman tayo kay Macoy, ang henyo kong kaibigan pero tamad. Mabibilib ka naman sa kanya dahil lahat ng bagay ay nalulusutan niya. Nakakahanga. Madiskarte kasi tong gagong to. 
Natutunan ko sa kanila na siya ay giving person, siya yung may quality relationships sa tao. Sa brain benefits niya. Grabe. Para akong nagkaroon ng friend na utak lang walang mukha. Oo totoo naman. Malaki naman talaga ulo ng kaibigan ko. 
Tinaasan ko talaga ang standard ko kapag nakikita ko sila. Sobrang inspired ako sa kanila. Love  na loveko din sila. Si Macoy din ang nagturo saken na ang buhay hindi boring, yang kupal na yan ay always learning and growing. 
Kung natututo din sila. Mas natututo ako sa mga bagay na shinashare nila. Thankful ako sa kanila. Super positive nilang mag isip. 
Di niyo ba alam. Si jestine at si Macoy palaging pinapansin ang kapayatan ko o ang kalusugan ko. Hindi naman ako nagdodroga. Ang tagal ko lang talaga tumaba. Tamad lang talaga umusbong ng katawan ko. haha Kung kasama ko sila palagi ay malamang mas gaganahan ako mag exercise. It’s fantastic for my health and wellness in being with them.
To summary,
Siguro may mas magaling pa kayong friend kaysa sa akin. May mas maganda pa kayong story na masshare.
Ang saken lang. Mahirap talagang kalimutan ang mga kaibigang nagbigay ng pagmamahal at tawa saten. 
Dahil biniyayaan ako ng mga magagaling at matatalinong kaibigan. Inaasahan ko na marami pa akong magiging kaibigan sa nilalakad ko ngayon. Yung mas susubok pa sa kakayahan ko. I-chachallenge pa nila ako. Tawanang walang humpay pa ang pagsasaluhan namen. Syempre willing den naman akong magbahagi sa mga taong nangangailangan ng tulong ko. 
Ipapangako ko na ako naman ang magbibigay ng inspirasyon sa kanila. Di palaging sila nalang palagi. Ako naman ang tutulong sa kanila. Ako naman ang titingalain nila. Joke. Ipagmamalaki nila ako sa bawat barangay. hahaha
De joke. Sila pa rin ang inspirasyon ko. Ayoko ng kaibigan na kailangan ko pang magpa-impress. Kung ano lang ang suot ko. Yun lang. Ang kailangan ko ay yung mga taong masaya sa gitna ng problema. Pangarap ko ay pangarap din nila. 
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awfully-sadistic · 7 years
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Ties and Ties and ...Ties
Liam stared at Dot and Vaughn who were sitting across from each other, not knowing how to introduce them. It was a lot different in person than over the phone or even facetiming. All that just got Vaughn used to the idea and Liam too. Perhaps Dot as well. In a short span of time, Dot Dreadful became a very important person to him. Something Vaughn was already well aware of because in such a quick and not-so-personal a-time, he knew that there was a change coming the instant he got that phone call from Angelino, Liam’s grandfather and in turn, urged his husband to visit the Family he didn’t quite visit anymore. He didn’t know what the change would have been and would never have imagined a large factor was a woman when it finally did happen. Surprising enough, it didn’t even take the first night for Liam to become hooked—as soon as he had a break from the first meeting in client, he took some time to privately converse with Vaughn for … a hella long time, it probably was suspicious how long Liam had been gone. Hopefully he didn’t tell anybody he was taking a shit.
               Vaughn knew the whole story. But he didn’t understand the feelings. It was a strange sensation, almost like being clued in halfway through a book but he had to do the rest of the work himself. And he didn’t really feel like thinking. It was just a good think this situation required no thinking.
As far as Liam knew, the instant he stepped foot into the Haus property, it was decided for him already that the Rockers were going to have a change of scenery whether he had agreed or not. And why not? They had been part of the Syndicate for as long as there had been a Clubhouse and perhaps even before then; Liam spent ample time as a child with his cousins, growing up with them. The age gaps between some of them were huge, so the three he knew better than the others were Angelo, Alessio, and Ripley. Gianna and Mack had been acquaintances at the time, but cousins nonetheless. Now they’re as close to the rest of the Family because of Ripley and their integration with the Family business. Thomas had always been the responsible cousin, charming, and now that he looked at him… kind of looked like that one dude from that one movie with the superheroes Gerard put on one time. Vera, he didn’t know whatsoever but she was an honored member of the Family, so he had heard. Keil had also been there, perhaps even before the Family had been started so that was not a really big surprise. The younger siblings starting with Felina had about an age gap of about 5-10+ years but that didn’t mean they were unknown to Liam. Ever since he could remember meeting Felina and Fox’s young self, they were… extremely spoiled and not well-receptive to strangers whatsoever and that was whom Liam had been to them when they were toddlers. A stranger they would “terrorize” with their toddler selves, kicking Liam’s shin or just being a pest. They were just kids and Liam never held it against them… until they started to grow up. Glad to see none of that had changed, Felina still manages to kick Liam in the shin whenever she sees him and Fox just outright ignores him. Now, Celeste would just about be his favorite out of the younger siblings because she knew how to behave. Always nice and proper, Liam wondered what the hell happened to the other two and why Celeste had turned out like a decent human being.
He had a good idea of who his cousins were until a certain point where his family moved down to California and it was nearly impossible for a kid to visit that side of the country without any good reason. And for some unknown reason to him or another, he couldn’t remember why his parents didn’t make the effort to take trips down to New Senzannini to ensure they weren’t estranged from that side of the family and yet he never really asked either. That’s how it happened to be and soon enough, he’d have more than enough trouble on his plate to forget about that side of the family for a while. It was a tumultuous teenage life as perhaps with any, but Liam perhaps had it worse with a broken family that crumbled as soon as they touched California. His new family became what he made it out to be, forming bonds with other kids from broken families and with abnormal powers like him that made it hard to really function as a part of society with a normal job or normal life. No one would accept these people due on how they looked or how they behaved, but Liam took them all in. Liam and Vaughn, now.
When his Grandfather reached out to him for the first time after he had become an adult, Liam was wise enough by then to know that there was a reason why his family moved far away from Angelino. He was no good, as his mother would say. But that harpy didn’t poison his mind against his family on the other side of the world. He spent more time with them than she did, after all. The offer to become the California branch to the Syndicate had been enticing, enough so that it funded the Clubhouse and gave it its proper foundation with that extra money Angelino sent their way. There was the chance that things would rightly explode in his face when he signed his life (more or less) over to his Grandfather in service for the Syndicate. After all, it was what his cousins had done as well and there couldn’t have been any harm with working with a family he used to enjoy being around. All the while, Vaughn accompanied Liam on this strange trip; by making Vaughn president, he was allowed to sign the Clubhouse over to his partner so if anything happened to Liam, Vaughn would be set and Angelino, if… there was even the slightest chance he was as bad as his ‘ma had put, Vaughn would be the sole owner of the club. Angelino didn’t seem to have a problem with that which Liam couldn’t put his finger on—was it because he was truly as trust worthy as Liam had thought or as two-faced as his mother had assumed? Did Angelino have something up his sleeve? Did the old Patriarch know something that Liam didn’t with fancy loopholes and shit? Would Vaughn really be okay? After all, Angelino had fancy lawyers who could make that happen, right?
The first time his thoughts were put to rest was when Mark was introduced into the club. A stern, blond man with a strict upbringing, perhaps that way to conceal what he really was—psychic abilities weren’t as common as they could be seen now, and Mark rightfully scared the people around him. He had learned to suppress them and focus his efforts on becoming a fully functional member of society… but perhaps went a little too far in that aspect and became a lawyer trying to overcompensate. Mark was wickedly smart and seemed like the right person to go over the contract Liam had with Angelino.
Mark found nothing wrong with it, whatsoever. That was what told Liam that Angelino was as he had thought, perhaps even more trustworthy than anyone he could have ever met. He was fine with Vaughn being in charge of the Clubhouse; becoming a home for those shunned by society than a gun-running operation before it started to actually grow and fill more roles for the Syndicate. As he thought about it now, perhaps that was what Ripley was trying to accomplish with her GVRL SQWAD.
“Liam,” Vaughn’s obvious Irish accent tore Liam from his concentration. The dark-haired man made a noise at the back of his throat that more or less showed off that he hadn’t been paying attention. Vaughn continued once he knew he had his husband’s attention. “I said, what’s it you wanted to talk about?”
Another thoughtful noise before Liam finally spoke up, clearing his throat from not having used it in a while. “Just introductions. I wanted there to be somethin’ official.”
“Oi, official, lookit him.” Vaughn teased, looking at Dot but his grin and gesture were aimed at Liam. “Since when have we done anything “official”?” he asked, using those huge hands of his to quote in the air. Liam scowled but it wasn’t anything malicious; he knew his husband was teasing him.
“Knock it off, you big goof.” Liam gruffly said, taking a seat near both Dot and Vaughn. Vaughn sat the head of the conference table, and Dot only sat to the right of him. Liam took the seat across from Dot. It was just the three of them in the room, where Liam had heard the first meeting took place. So why not have a little meeting of their own?
“I’m serious though, how long have we been facetiming each other?” Vaughn asked, chuckling. He was easy-going but not as easy-going as Ewan, his large lug of a twin. Most people joke about them being alike but Liam couldn’t see it. Especially when people joke about Liam mixing the two up; that joke didn’t bother him and it wasn’t like it gets old. He found it humorous simply because it was everyone else who mixed the two up and not him. It was his own private joke he liked to enjoy and hopefully, Dot would come to enjoy it too. He was noticing that in pictures he’d show her of the Clubhouse members, off his phone and those he’d keep of Vaughn, Ewan, and his own twin in his wallet, she was having no trouble whatsoever telling them apart.
“FaceTime is one thing, but this is another.” Liam argued. Vaughn recognized that stubborn tone, and although this conversation was harmless, whatever Liam had decided, he was going to see it through. Vaughn chuckled again, sending a wink over at Dot.
“You’re going to formally introduce me to your girlfriend then?” Vaughn teased which honestly caught Liam so off-guard that his eyes widened. “You’re lucky that I’m not the jealous type.”
“Oh, bullshit! You’re incredibly jealous.” Liam snapped back, and Dot could see through the banter that there was still a lot of love there—despite trying to sink into her seat due to Vaughn’s comment. “You’re exactly the jealous type, I don’t want to hear that shit.”
“Oi oi, I’m nowhere near the jealous type as you, love.”
“Well, that’s cause people’ll are always starin’ atcha. And I hate it.”
“…Liam, they’re just talkin’ to me cause they asked me somethin’. Kind of have to look at me when they ask for shit.”
“Who is asking you for shit?!” Liam nearly stood up from his seat, large bearish hands coming down upon the wooden surface of the table with just as much passion in his question.
“…The boys at the Clubhouse ask for a lot of shit, for one.”
“Deduct their pay.”
“For what? For lookin’ at me?” Vaughn laughed so hard, that it shook the table underneath Dot’s hands. She slowly pulled them back and placed them on her lap, wide-eyed and watching the exchange. She wanted to stay as quiet as she could—not because she was scared they’d turn their attention on her but because she wanted to see the rest of this unfold.
“Exactly.”
“That’s fuckin’ hilarious, Liam.”
“I ain’t jokin’, Vaughn!”
But Vaughn didn’t seem to hear him, bursting out into laughter. It didn’t upset Liam but once he heard his husband’s laughter, kind of started laughing himself. “Goddamn it,” he muttered through chuckles.
But Vaughn somehow turned the tables on the both of them, perhaps his “talent” for thinking two steps ahead all the damn time. “So, how much are you going to be charging me for looking at your new girlfriend? Plus Facetime, so is that like an extra charge or sum shit?”
“Knock it off, smart ass.” Liam grinned, good-natured enough. It was Dot who looked mortified that she was being referred to as Liam’s girlfriend… especially when she supported their marriage. Were they taking this the wrong way? No matter how attractive Liam and his husband looked and… the many deliciously sinful things coming into her mind about coming in-between their marriage… literally, she didn’t want to do anything that disrespected the both of them and their union. Well, coming between them wouldn’t be the last thing she wanted to do but, she’d feel really bad.
But she was in the same boat as Vaughn; she had no idea what this meeting was about and the last thing she wanted to do was cause a rift or be a problem. This internal problem was preventing her from speaking out—or rather, her insecurities but that didn’t mean it didn’t go unnoticed by the other two men in the room.
“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Vaughn spoke up first, as he was most known to. “and I know you’re a lot more talkative since I get ta Facetime ya and stuff. Are Liam and I makin’ you uncomfortable, love?”
Dot tried to ignore the way her tummy flipped under his attention or from the use of the endearment. It… was just a thing European people did, right? She threw around terms of endearments all the time… so why did it feel so different when she was the one receiving them? She noticed Liam staring at her now in that intense way he always did, the kind that made her want to shrink in her seat yet heated her to the core.
“N-No, it’s not anything like that.” she confessed, wanting to ease their worries at least. “I’m just confused. I thought we were going to have a second meeting just for the Triquetra and Rockers to become acquainted with the Family?”
“As far as I know, we are.” Vaughn smiled, a warm expression that Dot could not have known was only reserved for Liam. But Liam knew, even as Vaughn reached over to take Dot’s small hand in his much, much larger one. He placed his other hand over Dot’s, giving it a gently pat. “I’m sure Liam has very important words to say to us that he couldn’t say in front of everyone else.”
“Mm. Important words and shit.” Liam cracked.
“And he’s going to be spilling those beans now that we’re done messing around.”
“So, you guys weren’t really fighting?” Dot asked, innocently enough that Vaughn had to stop himself from crushing her into his chest.
“Holy fuck, so this is what cute aggression was.” he groaned, having released Dot’s hand just so he could rest his head on top of the table. His other hand was pounding into the wood, Liam’s laughter accompanying the gesture.
“What did I say?!” Dot asked, bewildered
“Something really fuckin’ cute!”
“IT WAS A NORMAL QUESTION!” she shrieked, entirely flustered now.
“Yeah, if an ugly bastard would have said it.” Liam cracked once more, this time laughing at his own joke.
“I see someone has that Frenzy trait,” Dot said before she could even stop herself. Her eyes widened and she even tried to cover her mouth as Liam grew very still. But it was Vaughn that saved the day, bursting out laughing all over again.
“I fucking TOLD you, Liam. I TOLD you!”
“Just because you two said it doesn’t make it true!”
“It’s precisely because the both of us said it makes it doubly true.”
“…That’s not true either.”
“So, just to be stubborn, you’d disagree with your husband and your mistress—“
Dot made a noise loud enough that it interrupted Vaughn’s statement, that gaze of his dropping onto her like a weight. But he was grinning impishly.
“I think I see what has ya all hot and bothered now.”
“Please don’t.”
“It’s too late, I already seen’t it, lass.”
“AveRT YOUR EYES THEN.” Dot squealed though she covered her own eyes for whatever reason.
“Vaughn, you’re upsetting my girlfriend.” Liam sounded serious enough but if Dot were to lower her hands could also see that he had a wicked grin that matched Vaughn’s. They were playing with her and enjoying her reaction and especially the way she wiggled in her seat, oh-so uncomfortable.
“Well, we can stop upsetting her if you finally tell us why you dragged us out here.”
“Alright, alright.” Liam resigned and after a little while, Dot felt it was safe enough to come out. Vaughn was giving her a kind smile again and Liam was wearing his usual smirk. “It’s not anything too bad, Dot. Just want to discuss a coupl’a important things with you regardin’ our relationship.”
“Or what’s to become our relationship,” Vaughn put in as Liam nodded with a thoughtful grunt.
Dot didn’t want to assume what that might have meant though she had a couple of ideas; they could either tell her something she couldn’t handle to even think about right now or they could tell her to back off. And with how things were going recently, with Liam attached to her hip these past few weeks, there was no way they were telling her to go anywhere. But the first option, Dot didn’t think she could put it into coherent thought, not with the way that her knees trembled.
“Vaughn and I are married, happily in fact, and while it never felt like we were missin’ anything, I didn’t account for somethin’ to be added to make it feel…” Liam trailed off and his expression looked hardened enough to show that he was in deep concentration. He wasn’t used to speaking his feelings… as with anyone related to the Frenzy’s but because of Vaughn, the support he had for years, he had an easier time with speaking about what he thought because of that support. It was what allowed him to face Dot like this and for Vaughn to look on proudly towards his husband, even if he was struggling with speaking words… straight from the heart.
“Complete?” Vaughn offered. Liam’s head snapped up and he nodded with much resolve.
“Yeah. Complete.” Liam cleared his throat. “I would have thought it might be weird ta you, askin’ if you would be okay with ya’know, accepting the both of us but seeing as how this Family works, I guess what we’ll be asking of ya won’t be too farfetched.”
“It makes it a hundred times easier, that’s for sure,” Vaughn chuckled.
“Exactly. And what we want to ask from you may be a bit demanding… for you, at least. You’ll have to split your attention between two people’ll who always want ya around.”
“It’s a good thing Liam and I are always together,” Vaughn joked. It was Liam’s turn to chuckle this time as he agreed.
“We’re married but we’re not exactly closed off to the idea of wantin’ you to…” Liam paused because “join” felt too loose of a word for what they were both looking for. Perhaps the words were too strong for Liam to put into words and he looked to Vaughn for the help.
“Love.”
Or perhaps the word could have been simple but not the concept behind said word.
“Do you think you can…come to love the both of us?” Liam asked.
“And everything we have ta offer?” Vaughn added. “This includes the Clubhouse and all the boys we’re responsible for.”
There was a moment of silence as their question, no, their request, weighed heavily in the air. What they were asking seemed so simple but then again, it wasn’t. It all depended on how Dot felt and Liam had such a good vibe these past few weeks. He was certain that she would have agreed but it was a different story altogether when they were actually waiting for the answer.
It wasn’t in Dot’s nature to give someone a long pause just to keep them waiting at the edges of their seats but she didn’t know how to answer straight away. She felt too strongly for these two men she hardly seemed to know but that was why they were part of the Family; to get to know them. It went beyond finding them attractive. There was something there, behind all of that on the surface, and she wanted to know what it was. Slowly, she began to nod.
“I… don’t think it’s a matter of whether I can or not… I can, I know this. But…will it be okay with…you two?” Dot asked, unable to hide the uncertainty whether their marriage will be ruined because of something like this. As tempting as it was finding herself between these two men, she was just as smitten with the fact that these two were married. It was entirely sweet and she didn’t want to be the one to ruin anything like that. It was perhaps her biggest hang-up with the situation.
“Of course it is,” Liam stated, puzzled with her answer. She seemed okay but also hesitant. Why? Vaughn was the one more in touch with emotions and feely shit like that and when he looked over, he could also see that Vaughn was searching her expression and perhaps putting that big, beautiful brain of his to work on asking himself the same question.
“Are you scared because we’re married?” Vaughn asked, simply at first before elaborating. “That you’ll come inbetween us in a bad way that it’ll… ruin something?”
Dot didn’t answer but looked uncomfortable. She did manage to nod her head, nervous. The boys sat silent for a while, knowing that this was a big decision and that Dot was taking what they were asking into serious consideration. It would be fair to do the same, taking care of any worries she may have.
“You know, it’s the first for us too.” Vaughn started, “Liam and I have always had each other. We’re comfortable with each other, there’s nothin’ that’s going to tear us apart in any way and we’ve been through a hellava whole lot, lass. One of us dyin’ will probably be the cause of us havin’ to separate. So if you’re concerned about… erh, coming between us… in the bad way, I can promise ya, it’s not going to happen.”
“And if you feel like you’re gonna be left out, that’s not it either. There is no Vaughn and Liam, then Dot. Nor is there a Vaughn and Dot, then Liam. Or Liam and Dot, then Vaughn. It’s Dot, Vaughn, and Liam. The three of us, and as how damn sappy it sounds, just lovin’ each other.”
Dot couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head, “It… it doesn’t sound sappy at all.”
“I think you’re just going to have to see it for yourself, instead of us just trying to use words to reassure you,” Vaughn told her gently. “As always, we’ve been good with our actions than with our words and I think that’s the way it’ll truly put your insecurities to rest.”
“Good point,” Liam’s tone was thoughtful. “that’s if you give us this chance.”
“I want to!” Dot said almost all too eagerly. It made the men look at each other and then chuckle. When they returned their attention back to her, Vaughn was smiling kindly once more and Liam looked pretty damn accomplished, that he took on a different sort of posture; kind of eager himself.
“That’s all I really needed to talk to you about,” Liam stated, leaning in the back of his seat. He was usually restless when it came to just sitting around, but there was a comfortable air surrounding them. If anything, his strong legs just gently rocked him back and forth on the expensive chairs, gazing between Vaughn and Dot to see if there was anything else they wanted to say.
Vaughn remained silent because all he wanted to say had been said. If there was anything else bothering Dot, he wanted to be able to ease her worries. So he was staring at her.
That was when Dot noticed that their attention had pooled on her tiny little form and she looked surprised. The biggest issue she had was how their marriage would be but in the way they spoke, they would show her that it would all hold up okay and to her, it seemed like how an open relationship would work anyway. The only part she knew was different from an open relationship was that there was the unspoken knowledge that there was not going to be anyone else added into the mix. It was, like they had said, Dot, Vaughn, and Liam. They both seemed fine and she had hoped, discussed it with each other at length what they were truly asking of each other. Not just her. Slowly, she nodded again, the action was deliberate because a little bit of her still felt in disbelief. Would it go as smoothly as the three of them would assume? Dot hated assuming but the reassurance they put out calmed her that she wanted to take a chance with this experience.
“I think, like the both of you said, we’d have to experience it… perhaps come into our own ways of how we feel comfortable with our dynamic,” she said quietly, timidly. The two guys made a thoughtful noise of agreement from besides her and across from her. She felt relaxed now that she had spoken.
“It won’t be perfect at first,” Liam added onto Dot’s statement. “but what relationship starting out, is?”
“Takes some practice and as they say, if you don’t fight in a relationship, do ya really have one?”
Dot smiled, knowing that saying personally. She nodded in agreement and all three of them looked at each other, content with the understanding that this is going to also be work. It was exciting in a way that turned a new page in Dot’s already epic adventure with this Family she had merged into.
“Think it’s time we get back to the rest of the Family,” Liam gruffly stated as he stood up from his seat. Not too long after, Vaughn’s seat was rolling away from the table as he also stood. Dot, still on her timid legs, also stood as she didn’t want to be left behind.
That was the first instance she realized that what the two of them were right; actions would do better in putting her insecurities at rest. Vaughn was already at her side, arm wrapped around her small, slender shoulders and Liam was opening the door for them both. The transition was seamless that if Dot didn’t consciously make an effort to recognize it, she wouldn’t have noticed it at all. The air around them was comfortable just as it had been before but Dot didn’t feel excluded whatsoever. In fact, she felt like she was being accompanied by two lovers the way Vaughn held onto her and how Liam would look at her and every so often, whether he realized it or not, guide her by the elbow with Vaughn attached in steering them throughout the maze of hallways that was their soon to be Haus.
“Do you think we should hit the Family Festival Falling down….whachamacallit now or should we got out and get something to eat?”
“Don’t they have food at the Festival thing, Liam?”
“…But there’s people there.”
“Yeah. Our Family.”
“…They’ll look at ya guys.”
“Family, Liam.”
“Dot, you agree with me right?”
Dot made a noise, semi-flustered and for the first time, perhaps realizing that she should get used to being put in the middle of these arguments the two have—just like in the beginning of the meeting where she had the pleasure of being able to watch them…and not participate, perhaps having to choose a side.
“I-I don’t know, maybe we should listen to the Patriarchs.”
Both Vaughn and Liam made a sound that made Dot think they didn’t account for having to answer to someone one bigger than them on the food chain. In fact, from the looks on their faces, it seemed they had forgotten altogether.
“…Good idea.” Liam gruffly resigned after a moment of silence.
“Yep… smart thinking, saving us from a whoopin already.” Vaughn chuckled. “To the falling down thing it is.”
“Why do you think they’re calling it the falling down festival?” Liam asked.
“…Maybe because people are fallin’ over themselves cause there’s a lotta damn family members out there.”
Dot couldn’t help but giggle, knowing damn well what the festival was named but she wanted to play along as well. “No, no, I think it’s because the leaves are falling down on everyone’s heads.”
“Holy fuck, that makes sense. It’s autumn, ain’t it?” Liam said with a bewildered expression aimed at the both of them.
“Goddamn it, you’re smart.” Vaughn whispered, also looking like a light went off in his head.
Dot giggled again, feeling satisfied, warm, and most importantly, included.
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pynkhues · 2 years
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anything about caroline collingwood honestly... i want to hear it all
This is a slight tangent to your ask, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately (again, haha) about how Logan typically seems to be attracted to women who he sees either himself or his needs in, especially this late in his life. His relationships with Marcia, Rhea and Kerry all seem steeped in the way that those women demonstrate something of his own survivalism and ruthlessness, and it’s fascinating to me in the sense that they each seem like a shallower version of, and are a more superficial relationship to the one that preceded them.
Marcia was a true partner to Logan in s1, and while she was self-serving, she also did protect him, support him, care for his health and seem to have genuine love for him. Rhea in s2 was more transparent about her self-interest and her maneuvering, but she also became something of a companion to him before everything blew up, whereas Kerry in s3 seems so far to pretty clearly be posturing and using Logan for her own professional and social gain – gosh, she doesn’t even manage his medications well which contributes to his psychosis with the UTI. You know Marcia never would’ve let that happen.
I think all three women though speak to Logan’s current and present desires for partnership, legacy and control, and it makes for an interesting reflection of where he’s at in his life.
The reason I bring this up is because I’m fascinated by Caroline and Logan’s relationship generally, and in particular what the relationships we’ve seen play out on screen tell us about Logan’s first two marriages, and maybe even who those two women were as people.
In some ways, they are hard to compare, especially Logan's first marriage. He would've been very young when he married Connor's mother, likely in his early twenties, and I tend to think their marriage was one built on a foundation of trauma. We know Connor's mother had mental health issues and was institutionalised, but the timing too would've roughly coincided with either Noah's death or him handing the reins of the company over to Logan (either of which would've had huge implications for a 20-25 year old Logan who'd experienced serious physical abuse by him), Ewan enlisting (bearing in mind their father died at war), and, I suspect, the death of their sister.
Caroline too is different to Marcia, Rhea and Kerry, in no small part because Caroline had independent wealth and a sealed legacy that Logan wanted for himself. In many ways, they were more equal than any of Logan's other relationships, but all of that sort of does beg the question of what, exactly, Caroline saw in him.
She was the one with generational power, she was the one with embedded social status and secure wealth, whereas Logan’s empire would’ve really still been in the process of growing. The major expansion of Waystar Royco into theme parks and cruises is said to have been in the early-to-mid-80s after all, and Kendall would’ve been born in 1979, which tells us that when they got together, Logan was a divorcee with a son and a likely robust-but-still growing news business and a degree of political power in another country.
On top of that, they weren’t old when they met, but they weren’t especially young either. I tend to think there’s more or less the same age gap between Caroline and Logan as there is between Harriet and Brian, which is four years, and would put Logan at 40 and Caroline at 36 when they had Kendall (maybe a year or two younger), and so if we estimate they were together a couple of years before that, Caroline would’ve been in her early thirties when she started dating Logan.
Caroline isn’t a social climber in the way Marcia, Rhea and Kerry all are, and she has nothing to secure. She has everything she wants, and yet she chose Logan, and Logan chose her, and I do think they’re both still wounded and bitter enough about each other that they were genuinely in love.
It kind of comes back to my original point about the survivalism and the ruthlessness of the women Logan’s interested in, and how we see that materialise in Caroline as a character. She’s a stone wall a lot of the times, acerbic and often cruel, and there’s something to that that makes me think she’s a survivor too. Something both raw and slick – barbed wire wrapped in silk – that Logan maybe saw himself in too.
In particular, I really loved what Harriet Walter said about Caroline in her interview with The AV Club:
I have to say that I’ve created a backstory that [Succession creator] Jesse [Armstrong] approves of because I had to fill in the dots. He has to look over everything, though, and I only have my character to look after. So I created a sort of backstory where she’s certainly no saint, but you do understand that she was badly parented and she has no clue about being a mother, really. She handed everything off to nannies, but she thinks she loves her kids and she has her cozy moments with them. When anything gets profound and real and they really need her, a kind of shutter goes down because that’s what she knows, because that’s what happened to her when she was a kid’
I think that’s probably the survivor that Logan connected to, and to me, that speaks to Caroline’s upbringing. That she wasn’t shown love or affection as a child, that her parents were distant and neglectful, if not abusive, that that made her sharp, but not cold, defensive but not necessarily offensive. Technically, she wanted for nothing in life, but there’s the same rejection of real emotion in her that there is in Logan, because neither of them were shown how to love, how to give, how to do anything but manage the hand you’re dealt, and that festered inside both of them until it fundamentally broke them.
Ultimately, I think Logan projected that into his social climbing (he'd be happier if he had more, was more, did more), but Caroline already knew that wasn't the answer.
In some ways, it leaves her aimless, but in others, she has a clearer purpose than Logan too. Her life is about preserving her family history, most notably with the castles and estates, while Logan’s is about trying to create his, and I think that builds in them both this really interesting, bristling root conflict, and testifies to the way he was able to take sole custody of their children.
He feels a family beside and ahead of him, whereas Caroline feels a family behind her, and I think Caroline knows nothing can fill her, whereas Logan doesn’t. He still thinks his story has a happy ending, while Caroline knows hers doesn’t, so she’s getting her kicks in where she can, and Logan’s constantly looking on to the next best thing.
They're tragedies out of step with one another, and I think it meant that when they were happy together, they were probably really happy, and when they weren't - -
Well.
They really, really weren't.
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benestrella · 7 years
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FRIENDS WITH BRAIN BENEFITS
Back in the days when I’m so young, 
Ang nareremeber  ko lang na i-wish palagi taon taon ay ang takbo ng pag-iisip ko at ang warrior kung katawan. haha (Yes! Tama po kayo ng nabasa.) Kasama po talaga ang utak. Di nawawala sa panalangin ko yan linggo linggo sa buong taon. Eh tangina kasi, di ko kasi makontrol minsan ang rampa ng isip ko. (hallucination ba tawag dun? haha Di ko sure). May oras talaga na kung saan-saan napupunta ang gusto ng isipan ko, lutang, madumi ako mag isip pero walang output kaya ang kalalabasan minsan ay humihina ang katawan ko at nagkakasakit. 
Ang pinagtataka ko lang. Mahilig ako magpray sa family ko. Lalo na syempre sa sarili ko. At bihira ako magdasal para sa mga kaibigan ko. Pati na rin sa girlfriend ko. Pwera nalang kung may sakit sila or may problema sila. Ang ibig ko lang sabihin, napaka-blessed ko masyado sa mga kaibigan at girlfriend ko. Minsan ako lang talaga yung nawawala sa sirkulasyon or hindi nagpapakita dahil sa kakagala ko. haha Saka may jowa na ako. 
Masaya na ako sa biyayang ipinagkaloob sa akin sa kakaunting ‘ka-repa’ na meron ako pero sulit naman kung ko-computin. At sulit din sila sa akin. haha
Kapag nag-aadopt ako ng mas positive crowd and perspective. Malaki ang changes.
Kung tatanungin niyo lang. Nasa honor/top or dean’s lister ang mga kaibigan ko. (Walang halong biro). Ako lang talaga ang hinde. hahaha De joke. Nung elementary ako, nag third place kaya ako. (Wag ka.) Ang sipag ko kaya nun.  Pagmalaki niyo naman ako oh. haha
Kaya na-realize ko ngayon. 
Matalino ba ako kaya mga kasama ko matatalino o binigyan lang talaga ako ng mga taong magbibigay sa akin ng malaking help o impact sa sarili ko?
Until now,Ang sagot,  I don’t know. 
Ah basta. Subukan kong ielaborate senyo. 
Sige game. Try naten. Balikan ang nakaraan kung may kwenta ba talaga ang mga kaibigan ko. haha
Unahin naten nung panahon sa elementary ako. (Hindi naman kasi pwedeng mauna ang college eh, diba?). 
During my school year. Kadikit at katropa ko noon yung mga matatalino sa klase. Para sa akin, matalino sila. Isa si Angelito diyan. (Di ko na alam kung nasan na siya ngayon. Dead or alive pa ba siya? Napakulit niya noon. As in. Pero di niya kaya ang powers ko. Mas bully ako. Ako lang ang bumabasag ng kulit niya noon. Siya kaya ang dahilan kaya na-motivate ako na mag aral ng todo. At kengkoy na matalino pa siya. Dahil na-inspired ako sa kanya, nagpakabibo ako ng husto noon sa klase. Nagsipag ako. Sinacrifice ko muna ang bakasyon with basketball sports ko at nagfocus sa pagpapakahenyo. Sinubukan kong magmemorya ng mga words na mga weaknesses ko. Tiniis ko ang hirap ng buhay sa Math. Ginapang ko ang pag-aaral ng salitang English. Tapos  sinabayan ko pa ng ka-comedyhan.  At sa kasamang palad, bumaliktad ang mundo, siya naman ang nagpabaya sa pag-aaral. Malaki ang pasasalamat ko sa kanya, kay Angelito. Tunay ko siyang kaibigan na hindi ko na nakikita hanggang sa ngayon. Ewan ko kung tunay pa baa ng tawag dun? Nang dahil sa kanya hindi ako matututo sa kahinaan ko. Marami din siyang tutorial saken noon kung paano gumawa ng English sentence. Kapiling ko siya palagi sap ag aaral. Para kaming magkapatid sa sobrang dikit. Kasama ko din siya noon sa mga Science Quiz bee pati MTAP. Kaya natutunan ko sa kanya. If you want to be your best you must surround yourself with the best. But in terms of our friendship, take note, siya ang dumikit sa akin. Ano kaya ang ibig sabihin nun? Sobrang huge ng influence niya sa akin. Siguro nga magaling lang talaga ako pumili ng kaibigan. haha Marahil may mga kaibigan din kayong mas matalino pa sa mga kaibigan ko, pero syempre mahirap sabihin kung sino ang mas pinakamagaling. Diyan makikita na may mga tao lang talagang huhubog ng pagkatao naten. Si Angelino na katunog ng benito, isa siya sa naging inpirasyon ko kaya ako nagsumikap mag-aral. 
Then when the summer come, hindi mawawala syempre sa bakasyon ko ang basketball at makasama sina Empoy at toytoy. Mga baliw kong mga kaibigan. Nung na-achieved ko na ang mga mithiin ko nung elementary, (Bali nasa tugatog na ako nun). nagkaroon na ko ng butas para magbasketball ulit. 
Sa kanila ko natutong makipagbasag ulo. May utak din naman sila. Hindi sila bobo. Magaling dumiskarte ng pera lalo na sa katarantaduhan. Pero sila ang dahilan kung bakit ako gago. Sila ang nagbigay ng binhi sa akin upang maging matapang sa buhay. Dito ko napagtanto na may mga kaibigan tayong magtuturo sa atin kung paano ang tumapang at magpaiyak. Minsan hindi yan maibibigay ng mga miyembro ng pamilya. Wala akong masabi sa dalawa kong kaibigan na yan, toytoy at empoy. Noon, kapag tatlo kaming magkakasama, para akong bata-bata nila dahil ako lang ang pinakabata sa grupo. Ang mahalaga lang sa akin, kung di ko sila nakilala, malamang mahinang tao ako ngayon sa world of pikunan at asaran. 
Damay na rin siyempre ang ugali pati sa pananamit ang nahawa ko sa kanila. My friend with which I surround myself can heavily influence my outlook, values, emotions, and behaviors. Ganun!
Dako naman tayo sa highschool life. Mas na-challenge na ako ngayon dito. Yung husay at talino ko nung elementary, (Wow, husay talaga?) ay bitin at kulang pa pala iyon nung tumungtong ako ng highschool. Sumampal sa akin ang katotohanan na mas marami pa palang magaling kaysa sa akin at sa mga kakilala ko. Ang taas lang talaga ng tingin ko sa sarili ko. Kala ko alam ko na lahat. 
Pagkagraduate ko naman kasi nung elementary, bigla akong nag-join sa industriya ng breakdance. Naganap ito nung buwan ng Summer. Although, delikado ang ganung bagay. Salamat nalang, dahil di naman ako pinigilan ng mga magulang ko doon na kahit na umiikot ikot ang katawan ko at napupudpod ang bunbunan ko sa breakdance. Ginabayan pa rin ako nila. 
Samakatuwid, bago ako umapak sa high school. Pinagdaanan ko muna ang buhay basagulero. Take note ah, 2 months lang ang summer bago ako tumungtong ng high school. Pero marami na akong nagawa. Kung saan saan ako napunta. Nakahilig ko na ang sumayaw. Magpuyat sa walang kakwenta kwentang bagay. Mambabae. Sa loob ng bakasyon na iyon, ang daming nangyari sa buhay ko na hindi ako nakapag handa sa high school. Naalala ko tuloy, umiiyak ako kay mama dahil parang ayoko nang pumasok dahil di ko kaya ang high school, nawala sa focus ang kokote ko at buong kalamnan ko. haha Buti nalang naging matapang ang mudraks ko at di niya ako hinayaang tumigil sa pag aaral. Binigyan niya ako ng motivation. Haaay! at sa awa ni God, nakapasok naman ako sa High school. 
That situations where I can choose, I was benefited greatly by consciously deciding what kind of people with which I surround myself. Masaya akong maging kaibigan ang mga kababata ko. May negative things lang talaga na mapagdadaanan ako pero may choice pa din naman ako. 
Pagtapos neto. 
In highschool, naging kaibigan ko si Jestine. Isang kupal na tao pero napakatalino.
Nung kelan lang, nakasama ko siya sa bar sa MOA pati nung January 2 2017. Uminom lang kame saglit. Kasama namen si Keeshia na Cum laude ng St paul sa college at Suma Cum laude naman nung high school namen na si Ralph Palomaria. Syempre hindi mawawala ang girlfriend ko. Kasama din siya. 
Nakilala ko si Jestine nung nasa likod kame ng room na ilang beses siyang paulit ulit sa sign of the cross. May muntikan nap ala daw siyang mapatay. 
Kinabiliban ko ang buhay ng mga kaibigan ko na mababa lang ang ginugugol sa social life pero madaming palang naachieve sa buhay kahit hindi magpost sa social media. Si jestine at keeshia ang mga tunay kong kaibigan na nagpupump-up saken kapag down ako. Kapag nag-aaway kame ni angeline or naghihiwalay sa problema. Sila minsan ang takbuhan ko kung may problema. Sa inuman namen sa bar nung kelan lang, kinukwento nila ang mga na-achieved nila. Tang ina, nahiya ako. Ang dami na nilang naabot. May naipundar na silang bahay pero ako wala pa. hahaha Although si Jestine palang ang may anak sa grupo. Pero ang iba nag-iinvest na para sa kinabukasan nila. Ako wala pa. hahaha Sa totoo lang, sila? they stretch me out of my comfort zone. Sabi ko nga nung nakaraan sa blog ko, ikwento mo lang sa akin ang istoryang gusto mong sabihin, agad agad akong maniniwala. Kaya lahat ng mga achievements nila. Sobrang naiinggit ako. Kung di ako susubok at pagbabasehan ko lang ang estado ko. Malaki ang pagkakaiba. Marami na naman akong nasimulan. Didiligan ko nalang talaga. Progress. Progress. Progress.  Sa usapan namen, it changed my whole world. 
Marami pa akong makikilala. 
I can immerse myself in a group of people who lift me up, give me energy energy energy gap, and support me, help me see a more positive perspective, encourage me to be a better person, and aid me in achieving my dreams. 
At bonus pa na iba din ang perspective nila sa buhay. Mas lalo akong humanga. Kinompare ko ng slight yung buhay ko sa kanila. Sobrang layo. Masama man magkumpara pero kung iisipin nga talaga. Ang dami ko ng nauubos na oras dito sa kinakaupuan ko. Sa perspektibo nila sa buhay, natutunan kong magkakaiba nga talaga tayo ng pananaw sa mga nangyayari pero iisa lang ang mithiin naten. Ang guminhawa ang buhay at sumaya. 
So, I’m serious about surrounding myself with positive people today.  Namimili na ako ngayon. Ang oras ko, eherhiya ko at ang aking attitude are my most valuable resources and the tools with which I create my life.  Wala ng iba pa.  If someone cannot add to my life in a positive way, they aren’t in my life any more than absolutely necessary.
Tungtong na tayo sa college. Dali excited na ako. 
Nung sabado naman, nakasama ko ang college friends ko na si Macoy at Errol. Tang ina ang lulupit ng mga yan. 
Si Errol lang una kong naging kakilala sa kolehiyo nung unang araw. Kwento niya nga nung nag inuman kame last time sa bahay ni Macoy, tawang tawa daw siya nung nakilala niya ako. haha Mantakin mo ba naman, bigla ko siyang inaya sa library para magbasa pag walang subject. (ambibo ko diba) Akalain niyo yun. haha Silid aklatan kagad ang una kong gustong puntahan. Yan ang gustong makatapos. haha Pero habang tumatagal siguro nakikilala na niya ang ugali ko. Di niya siguro nagustuhan ang mga harsh jokes ko kaya medyo umiwas din siya. Alam ko sa sarili kong magaling ako .Bilib ako sa talino ko. Alam ko ang level ng utak ko. haha Di ako nakikipagtalinuhan. Marunong lang talaga akong umunawa sa ibang bagay. Pero siya talaga ang malupit kong friend. Masaya ako sa kanya. Masaya din ako sa buhay na pinili niya. Kahit na taliwas sa paniniwala ng iba. Masaya pa din ako sa kanila. 
Si Errol may sarili ng bahay na hinuhulugan. Kumikita din siya sa passion niya sa anime drawing. Talagang nakakahanga ang buhay niya. Nakapasa siya ng Architecture at nakagraduate. Naging architect pero mas pinili niya pa rin ang Anime Drawing. Ang taas ng paghanga ko sa kanya. Ibang klase magkaroon ng awesome friend.  Binibigyan ako ng new experience kahit na magkausap lang kame at pati na rin ng mga new ideas para sa buhay. 
Blessing na sa akin na nagkausap kame muli. 
Dako naman tayo kay Macoy, ang henyo kong kaibigan pero tamad. Mabibilib ka naman sa kanya dahil lahat ng bagay ay nalulusutan niya. Nakakahanga. Madiskarte kasi tong gagong to. 
Natutunan ko sa kanila na siya ay giving person, siya yung may quality relationships sa tao. Sa brain benefits niya. Grabe. Para akong nagkaroon ng friend na utak lang walang mukha. Oo totoo naman. Malaki naman talaga ulo ng kaibigan ko. 
Tinaasan ko talaga ang standard ko kapag nakikita ko sila. Sobrang inspired ako sa kanila. Love  na loveko din sila. Si Macoy din ang nagturo saken na ang buhay hindi boring, yang kupal na yan ay always learning and growing. 
Kung natututo din sila. Mas natututo ako sa mga bagay na shinashare nila. Thankful ako sa kanila. Super positive nilang mag isip. 
Di niyo ba alam. Si jestine at si Macoy palaging pinapansin ang kapayatan ko o ang kalusugan ko. Hindi naman ako nagdodroga. Ang tagal ko lang talaga tumaba. Tamad lang talaga umusbong ng katawan ko. haha Kung kasama ko sila palagi ay malamang mas gaganahan ako mag exercise. It’s fantastic for my health and wellness in being with them.
To summary,
Siguro may mas magaling pa kayong friend kaysa sa akin. May mas maganda pa kayong story na masshare.
Ang saken lang. Mahirap talagang kalimutan ang mga kaibigang nagbigay ng pagmamahal at tawa saten. 
Dahil biniyayaan ako ng mga magagaling at matatalinong kaibigan. Inaasahan ko na marami pa akong magiging kaibigan sa nilalakad ko ngayon. Yung mas susubok pa sa kakayahan ko. I-chachallenge pa nila ako. Tawanang walang humpay pa ang pagsasaluhan namen. Syempre willing den naman akong magbahagi sa mga taong nangangailangan ng tulong ko. 
Ipapangako ko na ako naman ang magbibigay ng inspirasyon sa kanila. Di palaging sila nalang palagi. Ako naman ang tutulong sa kanila. Ako naman ang titingalain nila. Joke. Ipagmamalaki nila ako sa bawat barangay. hahaha
De joke. Sila pa rin ang inspirasyon ko. Ayoko ng kaibigan na kailangan ko pang magpa-impress. Kung ano lang ang suot ko. Yun lang. Ang kailangan ko ay yung mga taong masaya sa gitna ng problema. Pangarap ko ay pangarap din nila. 
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