#We Are Full Of Stories To Be Told
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It’s been about a month since I posted Part Two, so here’s some bonus We Are Full Of Stories To Be Told art! It’s a Warlic!
I actually did this design long before I got around to actually writing his appearance in Chapter Two. I knew he was going to show up even before Chapter One went up - Warlic being around was actually one of the earliest things I thought of and this design predates Isiros and Meli Lu having names.
I really wanted to design his prosthetic wings (and you may see why they are implictly described as “strenuous” and Warlic doesn’t wear them that often) and I had a lot of fun with them! Aside from that, my main design goals were to throw in some Dean Warlic references to represent his aging (see: the clothes and the eyes) and to give him Very Long Hair, just because I could
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it’s so scary and so freeing to just be a person.
#the discovery and fulfillment of my curiosity as I go#trying to scientific observational field researcher my way through discovering#What Existence Includes#while I’m in this state to experience it#it’s like being back to my very youngest days before I started learning the major rules#when I was just sensation and experience and curiosity#making sense / making an ongoing story of the world and time itself as it flies past#personal#cult escapee#katie.txt#past me: thank you thank you thank you for holding on through the nightmare. thank you for riding out the huge world-ending pain. thank you#it was worth it it was worth it#of course it isn’t perfect but I SAID it’d be better within a few years didn’t I?#you signed up for this you made the commitment when you knew.#you tried allowing yourself to trust yourself again for the first time since age 7 or so.#you knew you couldn’t hold it all up front for that long if you were gonna survive transplanting yourself like an organ.#you knew you’d be giving up a lot. and you did it anyway because you were brave and you cared that much about how very very little you#deserved better for her world#and here you are. and here we are.#you told the therapist ‘of course not!!!’ so instantaneously and so full of belief. so dead sure on deep reflex that you could NEVER#trust yourself in a million years because even if the supernatural surveillance state wasn’t real and you didn’t have innate evilness#just from the Doctrine Is Saying So#where was I going with this. I’m typing tags on mobile and it’s religious for me but it’s also impossible as a ui#anyway my POINT WAS: it is so hard and so scary but it’s like walking into the world of Sesame Street for real.#you were right. it IS good to be alive. the whole thing all the way through is a bewildering baffling marvel. you’re ok to be delighted#about it and marvel at how wild it is that there’s so much about it all and so many things to see and think and meet and feel and do during#our spans of time#no matter what came before or what might come next#what a goddam marvel of it all. ain’t it just the strangest thing of all that we’re alive. what a marvel. what an absolutely magnificent hit#existence is an absolute absurdity
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No one:
Literally No One:
Me, running on three hours of sleep and only spite and coffee keeping my mortal vessel functioning, also trying to get all of the figurines in Minish Cap to scratch the completionist itch: We, as both the Zelda Fandom and Lu Fandom, don't really talk enough about First, The Hero of Men and The Original Attempted Calamity Hero huh?
And by that, I mean these gentlemen:
#Have a lot of thoughts about them all a lot of the time#Someone insert that shaking hands meme here#I feel like there's a use for it#legendofzelda#breath of the wild#botw#minish cap#four swords#four swords adventures#skyward sword#linked universe#something something how history likes to rhyme and for every hero whose story gets told at least one is not told in full#specially not after the adventure ends#kinda want to write some thoughts I have on these guys but idk#If I had a nickel for everytime Nintendo mentioned a Hero before our Link but did not elaborate further that isn't the Hero of Time#the Hero of Winds or the Hero of Legend#I'd have about four nickels (if we count the OG Zelda's mentioned Link too)#Which isn't a lot but it's probably weird that it happened four times#No mind to think no will to break no voice to cry suffering-#Wait wrong fandom#lu first
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im just like. at the end of everything, im so glad i trusted phil.
like i know it had been a running joke for a long time that oh, c!phil “will” die someday, ghostza will be real, it’s not if i die it’s when but like. after techno’s passing and when phil started talking about writing an ending i knew like...that couldn’t be the ending. on a lighter note, what’s the point of ghostza in a server that’s already dead and empty. and on a more serious note, it just... wouldn’t have made sense for c!phil to die after all that. so i trusted phil and i tried not to stress out too much about it. and when the ctommy ending happened i got a little scared, but when phil said he was still planning an ending i felt okay again because like. i don’t know im rambling but
bc like, all the jokes about shitting on annoying loreheads aside, phil knows how much his community cares for his character. he knows how much we all love c!phil and how we’ve stuck with him through all of the ups and downs of the lore and droughts and appearances in others’ streams and he knows how much we love his character, and it’s clear he cared about his character too, from the time he put in to make sure he was playing a good supporting role in other’s streams, to the lore tie-in for the kristin possession stream, to just...everything. he loves c!phil and we love c!phil and i trusted him to give us an ending that reflected that.
and he did it absolutely perfectly. thank you phil. thank you
#c!philza#philza#i just. i trusted him for a hopeful ending and this one was so full of love and gave us practically everything we could have wanted and#and its because he cares about his character and techno's character and the stories they told together#and none of us want that to disappear#so this was. this was the best i could have asked for. im still overwhelmed with love and appreciation#speaking
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To be honest the dialogue in twd is absolute ass sometimes but the actors deliver their lines with so much conviction that it kinda slips by. You yell that convoluted sentence with your whole cunt, girl.
#this post was sitting in my drafts for months but a line from Fear made me remember it again#''I will do what you tried to do to me only I won't miss''#translation: I will succeed where you failed but I won't fail#yeah bitch the floor here is made of floor#also for context nobody ''missed''. The thing he tried to do was shove him into a room full of walkers#and he did. successfully#he just somehow didn't fucking die or get a single scratch on him#this show is getting way more entertaining as it goes along but it's still stupid#also thinking bout ''we are the walking dead'' ''no we aint'' ''no you're right we aint''#thanks for shitting on Rick's metaphor dude. that was almost poignant.#and ''we got one enemy. we aint the walking dead'' ok slay I guess those two statements were related. vaguely. I think.#sorry kinda roasting Daryl specifically here. He's not the worst offender these are the only lines I can think of off the top of my head rn#also a LOT of the dialogue is interchangable between characters.#Daryl's ''Jimmy'' story in his spinoff was just a Negan monologue. hell Rick could even have told it.#they would have said it differently but again that's down to the actors.#all of this is light hearted ofc#I mean all that really matter is I'm Having A Good Time#twd#ftwd
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I'm actually kind of mad after wearing a knee brace (with patella support!) for 2 days because I just went down for breakfast not wearing it and my kneecap was wobbling loosely in its socket like it's done for years and I could FEEL how wrong it was and just had the biggest "you LIVE like this??!" moment and now i GUESS I am wearing a knee brace every time I go near stairs forever because it turns out it's not ideal if parts of your body have their own plans for every joint movement.
Mobility aids <3
#mad at myself for not even noticing it was weird even though I've known I have the stretchy joints for years now#honestly I need a full like. Scientific observation from behind glass hooked up to machines and doing silly little tasks for science week#please find out what is happening in here#I also got 1 ankle support and out of curiosity slept in it last night#and omg one foot resting upright made me realise how much the other was flat on the bed#when I lay on my back#the same thing that got me diagnosed in the first place#the rheumatologist who'd just told me I don't have cancer because of the bloodwork had me lie down to examine#he took one look at my flat fuck friday feet and like actually yelled in alarm and recoiled#which took some explaining#anyway he poked and prodded me but he already had said 'oh you have hypermobility and it's given you fibro'#this is why specialists also have to keep up with all the other medicines too :P#(i spent a weekend with my medic friend recently and she has Stories oh my god)#(was too busy talking to look at my feet even as I told her I'd dislocated my ankle and knee as we talked XD)#POINT IS I'm very slow to notice things about my condition#I quit chocolate for a year because I worried it was giving me migraines#and was too busy having migraines to notice the chocolate wasn't what gave me migraines
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bro what the fuck are they doing with my package
#fun story#i ordered 3 things from hot topic. they shipped but never arrived so a couple weeks later i messaged them abt it#and went back and forth with them for a while bc their customer service agents cant read apparently#before being told i had to call bc one of the things i ordered went out of stock and i was replacing it w smth more expensive#so i call and im on the phone for like a fucking hour missing the 15 minute window i have to eat between jobs#and being on the phone at work for a while lmao#i finally get it done and the guy fucking forgets my apartment number in the shipping address. it's in the billing address tho??#so i email them AGAIN and im like yo your man forgot my apartment number. they cancel that order and place another#the effect this has is that the $14 payment for the more expensive item is cancelled as well. bc again they don't read#so im like sick i will effectively get these $60 pants for $15 (im very good at sales and also manipulating customer service)#but apparently when they replaced the order they put ny apartment number not in the address‚ but as part of my name?????#so i think its fucking up usps. but it came in 2 packages and 1 has arrived so i still have hope. but thats not the end#yesterday guess who fuckin calls me. its hot topic. my original order arrived to the fuckin store in my local mall#and theyre like i think we fucked up bc we just found this package but it says you picked up your order already. do u want it#and i was like yes? not really sure what package to be expecting and its my ORIGINAL FUCKING ORDER#so once this package arrives i will have gotten 2 of the same shirt‚ 2 kiki sign things‚ a sweater‚ and a pair of pants for $40#and i figure i can return one of the shirts and one of the signs that i have duplicates of for store credit of their full price#so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.
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LOVE LOSES AGAIN 😖
#ofmd#our flag means death#I’m grateful we got what we got but I’m so sad the full story won’t be told
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actually, on the note of a joy of fic being getting to put tiny self-indulgent details in, and also on the note of me rereading my own fic...
Tomix: [IMG]
Zinnia: is that a volcano. Tomix are you in a volcano?
Tomix: I met a dragon
Isiros: a dragon who lives in a volcano?
Tomix: she’s very nice. She gave me soup
Meli Lu: Tomix, with every day that passes, you convince me more and more that adventuring is somehow still a viable life path
Meli Lu: that or you have some kind of latent reality warping magic that just. Does This.
Isiros: that second option sounds the most likely to me tbh
Tomix: You’re just jealous that you don’t have any dragon soup
Zinnia: I REALLY AM, ACTUALLY
sometimes you’ve just gotta reference one of your favourite childhood stop-motion shows from the seventies and that is why Tomix met the Soup Dragon
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hot take but taking every hearsay or rumor or book in a fictional universe for fact is bad understanding of the world as the story presents it, actually
#li.txt#this is both about dishonored and elder scrolls#propaganda exists! artistic interpretation exists! lie exist! people make shit up!#you cant take anything literally unless youre seeing it for yourself imo#if someone is telling you a story about their life they might omit information or make themselves look better! thats how people work!#or if you hear idk some musicians singing in the streets about an ancient myth from 4k years ago maybe dont take it for fact#this is a direct callout to people shitting on born in the month of darkness#if anything they were trying to make the outsider sound like a pathetic wet cat in need of a warm blanket and food. a poor meow meow#unless stuff is confirmed by the characters themselves Im not gonna believe it fully#the books are also often just. not true. theyre scientific speculation Just Like Real Life#or full on propaganda. just like - you guessed it - real life!#the best example that I can think of is how theres two books on the war of betony island in daggerfall. political!! propaganda!!!#not to mention: people will deceive you on purpose! omit details or full on Lie in your face#like Im sure theres stuff we completely misunderstood cause the one thing we were told about it was by someone bullshitting#like with delilah talking about her tragic backstory. like dont get me wrong I 100% believe that it all happened#but also I doubt she was as pitiful and that the Very Quick Summary was all there is to it#I should probably specify that if youre down to believing absolutely everything when there isnt any other sources thats fine#esp if you want to believe it for the reasons of Oh This Is Cool#like people absolutely eating up the angsty backstory for the outsider (me included cause yes. angst.)#have fun with all that#this is mostly about all the people throwing a temper tantrum online about disliking something about canon#'why do the musicians know the backstory why cant they leave anything vague anymore:/' theyre artists melinda its their job ur doing the sam#unless this was confirmed by the outsider in the books idk I cant find those damn things#if something is Stated by a Character or Written in a Novel that is in the world theres always some doubt#like I genuinely doubt that the events of Young Prince of Tyvia happened the way they do in the books#so like yknow. if you hate stuff so much just. ignore the canon established by literal in-game fiction
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the ballad of john and yoko is such an evil song (affectionate) i genuinely love it so much
#the personal reason#well it's a long story but the tldr is that a girl in my sophomore year friend group two-timed two guys in our dorm#(in that she was hooking up with both of them without telling the other) and also we all lived in a house-dorm of 35 so we all. were very#familiar with each other#and one of the guys was a super senior/masters student and the other was a sophomore and also in our friend group#full disclosure my account is biased but he was suuuuper into her and took her out on a bunch of dates and was rly sweet#while the super senior was insanely rich and kind of a dick and did none of that beyond sleeping with her#there was a biiig blowout fight the one week i wasnt there which culminated in the girl locking herself in the bathroom and the super#senior banging on the door and screaming at her#and then. she ended up dumping our friend and dating the shitass super senior#and we all told her like hey....this guy rly isnt good for you we care for you and he's been treating you like shit#and she was like idgafffffff#and. to their credit they're still together lol props to them but she kinda got dropped from our friend group because of the whole shebang#anyways. the super senior was a HUGE beatles fan and would caption all his ig photos with lyrics#and he posted a pic of the two of them dressed in all black and turtlenecks with 'the ballad of john and yoko'#and now as a beatles understander i realize how fucking insane that is. and also they will never be Them it's infuriating in that regard too#also the fact that the bassline is soooooo present like that one quote aboht george choosing mot to participate because 'it's the ballad of#john and yoko' not 'the ballad of john and yoko and george'. ignoring that paul was Right There with them in da stu#insanity. what a good fucking song
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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.
#i havent come to terms with the fact that one of the people i held closest to my heart has graduated and i wont see him for a good while#until i can shell out the money to fly to singapore. i get the feeling this is the conductors first shift on the train.#(all the black and breathing rapture) so welcome to charing cross? are you ready? an adminstration error#you are covered in the metallic stench of the rusty chains of command. its time to make four thousand pounds. i thought of you.#here in the garden of england she scrapes the shards of glass from the black sea. first with a spoon and then a knife and the with the#hairdryer that belonged to his mother. in the back of his car i can feel the stutter and jutter of the wheels the same shaky-straight path#of a beginner driver. i love you and the trees. hes finally growing his hair out. here is an enclosed metal room#more man than machine. i wont see you for another year. driving dangerously close to an 8-wheeled tall box i feel safer with you#than i ever will at home. weve already started a campfire in the backseat of your car ive got you didnt i?#we laid in the luxury of a four-person tent next to the mass of campfires and stars and i told her i thought you hated me#I've never hated you. ive never hated anyone except my father. here is how to forgive unspeakable things.#i am really all that ive been looking for. youre not a narcissist baby youve just got a lying problem. take molten gold#and glue the fragments of yourself back together. we cant stop crashing into the sky. drink wine straight from the grapes in the vineyard#and when you give it give it all. studies have shown you view your own future self as a seperate person#and oftentimes you have less empathy for this other person than for a friend. it is time to extend your kindness unequivocally.#the aviation tax attorney on the train floating on water told us a short story of her life. a smile full of charisma and#feeling old retiring at 47. theres a lot about you we shouldn't know. GRAB A GUN AND SHOOT THE IMAGE OF YOURSELF STRAIGHT IN THE MIRROR.
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Can you PLEASE let us know the story of why you thought Macklemore was assassinated in a thrift shop? I can't stop thinking about your tags
the honest answer is that I have no idea why or how I actually started believing this, but I do distinctly remember that nobody had ever told me — there was no prank involved, thinking macklemore got shot to death in a thrift shop was something that was 100% all me. for context, this was something I thought from around 2013-2018. if you’re familiar with macklemore you’ll know this was after he dropped thrift shop (song), and also during an active album release (gemini, in 2017). as I said before, I don’t know what prompted me to end up thinking he was dead. but I do remember exactly what I thought happened, which I will now present as follows
1. macklemore is fatally shot in a thrift shop some time in late 2013
2. it’s all over the news (????????) and, thanks to his 2012 song thrift shop, is regarded as some sort of grand ironic shakespearean tragedy
3. a conspiracy begins to grow that this wasn’t a robbery gone wrong but, in fact, a targeted assassination of macklemore specifically
4. fuel is added to the fire when in 2016, from supposedly beyond the grave, macklemore drops his song drug dealer, which is about how reagan and the cia pushed drugs into low income communities, a tradition which is now being carried on by big pharma. obviously this has to mean something
5. I am young. I am stupid. I have the entire internet (????????) on my side. macklemore. was assassinated by the cia
6. in 2017, macklemore drops an entire album. instead of jumping to the logical conclusion that I must have imagined his death and the subsequent controversy, I go “wow. it’s really cool how macklemore’s good friends are putting out his unreleased work even though the cia might tried to silence him. I hope they’re safe from the vengeful spirit of ronald reagan”
7. sometime in 2018, I finally actually see livestreamed video of macklemore on tv in what is clearly the present year, and I am snapped out of my admittedly very funny delusion
as of now I have two leading theories about why/how this whole thing happened
theory #1 is that it was a recurring dream that progressed in real time. I have another dream that’s like this (term search “fuck park”, I think I’ve talked about it before), but the setting is unrealistic enough that I could always easily classify it as Not Real. the macklemore thing was, I guess, just too plausible for a tweenage me to dismiss as a dream
theory #2 is that it was a legitimate full on delusion. this is also a thing that I have experience with. I thought I was an experimental killer robot for four years straight once. but I know why I had that delusion — this one makes no sense whatsoever. I have no idea why I would have such a detailed delusion about something so unrelated to me, let alone something as random as macklemore
for a while in late 2018-2019 I thought it might be a mandela effect thing, but the more people I brought it up to, the more I realized I was maybe the only person on planet earth who held this belief, which makes no fucking sense to me because I distinctly remember it being talked about on the news and later theorized about online. there was a televised macklemore funeral that I to this day can recall specific details from
so who knows. at this point it could be that maybe I’m from another dimension where the only significant change is that macklemore was assassinated in a thrift shop in late 2013. it’s kind of just an unsolved mystery at this point because like how the fuck would you ever even begin to prove that
that being said, I’m making this a public call to action. of any of you reading this remember anything even remotely similar PLEASE let me know
#sanswers#man I think this is the first time I’ve told the macklemore story online in full#tonight we fuck music <- I guess????
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in my current/first bg3 playthrough, due to a series of unfortunate choices and events, everyone at last light inn became shadowcursed undead and had to be killed. including dammon. which means there’s nothing I can do to fix karlach’s engine (at least as far as I am aware). and if I think about this fact too hard I WILL cry. my girl karlach deserves the whole world!! and I can’t give her the one thing she asked for? to say I am devastated is an understatement
#and I could’ve reloaded but I mostly prefer to just let the story play out#in the spirit of dnd#and this happened bc I am an idiot and my entire party didn’t have ANY weapons equipped at the start of combat#when the guy came to kidnap isobel 💀#and in my defense I knew there was no way I could win this fight bc I’d need at least a full round of wasted turns#if not 2 in order to re-equip everyone’s shit#but my best friend ASSURED me it would be fine#turns out she and her brother just didn’t know you’re NOT supposed to let isobel get kidnapped lmfao#like she thought it was an un-winnable and isobel would get kidnapped no matter what#hence why she told me not to worry about not having weapons bc in her mind it didn’t make a difference either way 💀#we share one braincell and we both used it to massacre the last safe haven in a deeply cursed land haha… oops?#anyway it’s been like 2 months since this happened and I’m still not over it#karlach clearly deserves so much better than me 💀#bg3#bg3 spoilers#ked rambles
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Just picking up some conversations from the ether but like...
There has been this push back against queer signifiers in media recently and I’m kind of wary of the whole thing. This isn’t just one thing, but I’ll give an example.
Nimona isn’t trans because there is a trans flag in the background when she’s talking to Bal about her shapeshifting or the rainbow in the credits. But to act like queer folks don’t use signifiers to confirm to other queer folks that “yes this is what I mean by this” or “you are included in this” is kind of asinine.
While I understand the pushback against rainbow capitalism and the co-opting of our symbols by corporate interests, or the thought that slapping a pride pin on a character makes them inherently queer in the narrative when it is never actually touched upon, I feel like we are overcorrecting in saying all flags are either coincidental or useless or both.
And in Nimona’s case, it isn’t a trans allegory just because there is a flag in the background, it is the full embodiment of her character, the story and the world that was created around her in the movie. But the trans flag in the background and the pride flag at the end? That’s just confirmation. That’s something queer folks can point to when bigots say ‘it’s not about that’, and while bigots can look passed it, it affirms it for *us*.
It can be trans both because of the story itself resonating a lot with trans, especially genderfluid, folks *and* because there is a trans flag in the background while Nimona is talking about her shifting.
Like, it can be both.
#especially in a day and age where our signifiers are routinely coopted i think it is important to understand when they are being used#genuinely by the creators behind something even if the corporation that funds is just a fucking two faced asshole like netflix#and to be clear this isnt praising netflix at all this is squarely on the shoulders of#Stevenson and the rest of the creative team behind the movie#this isnt saying yay thank you netflix for giving us inclusion in between your transphobic stand up specials#this is saying thank you Stevenson for fighting so hard and for acknowledging your community as much as possible#and yes sometimes a pride pin and awkwardness around another character is all that the creative folks behind something *can* get in to a#project and I get that but we have been moving beyond that for awhile now and i really hope more#of our stories can be told in full and not just couched in allegory and were getting there#but not if we push back against acknowledging our own
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