#Unfortunately for all of us most of human interaction does not happen in the literal words we say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ipsen · 11 months

Text

Eto Character Analysis

Big long post coming. Couldn’t help myself.

Admittedly, I’m mostly stealing from this post from the old ages (it’s crazy good and turned Eto into my favorite character), so you can read that and honestly get the same information. But I figured I’d take a swing at the behemoth myself.

Also wanna preface the analysis with the fact that I’m using the official translations as my source, as I can’t access the original scans and also couldn’t read them even if I did (cursed by monolingual tendencies).

Under the cut!

Eto is, unfortunately, a character that is built mainly on subtext crammed into very few chapters. Figuring her out is very difficult and a lot of her more nuanced traits can go over most people’s heads (it’s easy to call her insane, for example, and while she does have a few issues up in the old cranium, i’d hardly call her that).

The most important thing about Eto to keep in mind when discussing her is that she has been failed, and as a result of that, she also believes that she has failed those around her.

Her father left her in what is basically a literal shithole, especially for a baby. Her mother, though she died without really knowing Eto, did leave a journal behind, and Eto’s singular insight to the work regarding herself is that she is just a “byproduct,” and her foster parent got killed (presumably) protecting her from V, punting her to an orphanage where she’d have to steal money to survive (see: re 62), and presumably pretty often at that.

She got insanely lucky with the writer gig and shiono, who-- side note-- means a lot to her. Finally, a positive adult figure in her life! Unfortunately, he is a) only human, and b) her editor/coworker, so his positive influence, while welcome, is limited. still, she picks up his cute little hand gestures and I, personally, appreciate that (see: re 62 and compare it to TG 114).

Just the greatest.

Where was I... Ah, Eto being failed by those around her. And where does that leave her? Look no further than TG 98:

“A replacement is merely a replacement.” Eto doesn’t believe in found family, because she never actually found one.

And within the context of this chapter, we learn another thing about Eto. Whenever she interacts with someone and “breaks” them (the Yasuhisas, Kanae), she heavily projects onto them (because she recognizes their situation; notice how she only ever targets people who are both relatable to her and weaker than her) and breaks apart the “lie” the target tells themself, even if it isn’t entirely accurate:

(re 43) This is a false statement; Kanae does wish for Shuu to recover, he’s just upset it’s happening like this. Because who wouldn’t be, in his situation? Despite everything that he and the others did for Shuu, the only thing able to bring him out of his depression is the very thing that caused it. But I digress.

Back on track, there’s also Haise’s analysis of her work, the most personal thing she has, to consider when discussing her in re 39:

Once again, the void rears its ugly head.

Hopelessness. Emptiness. Filling it with anger and bitterness, and it’s never enough, but it’s all she has. Because the void can only be filled by the things she can never have.

So she throws herself at the CCG, banging her head against its walls with small raids alongside some fellow ghouls and then taking on the special investigators by herself. She’s 14, she’s a kakuja, and she’s mad. Mad at the world that failed her, mad at V for making it the way it is, and mad that things haven’t changed for a very long time. She has Ukina’s journal; she knows how stale the “narrative” is.

Of course, her raids don’t work very well, but she’s basically just a kid. She is as old as Hinami during TG.

Then, she’s finally thrown a bone, and is worse off for it:

Something I’ve noticed when factoring Arima’s influence into Eto’s character is that there is an assumption that the power dynamic between them is equal. It isn’t. I cannot stress this enough; there is a hierarchy at play here, and Eto isn’t the one on top. How do we know this?

(TG 139)

(re 52)

Kaneki was the new toy to replace Eto, the old one.

The ultimate plan is “the One-Eyed King will destroy the egg of V’s world and make something new.” By the time Kaneki does take the throne, this plan has been going on for 13 years. Kaneki was chosen as a candidate at the ten-year mark; he had to have been a non-factor before then. So who is left to become the king instead?

Eto.

The age difference between her and Arima is roughly 4-5 years. Remind you of another relationship?

(TG 14)

Uh-oh.

To reiterate, Eto is a 14-year old kid who has been abandoned by everyone who could possibly love her the way she wants. She desires parental love, protective love, the kind of love that makes her feel safe, when she has only ever fought to defend herself.

Enter someone who is far stronger than she could ever be, someone who could actually offer her the protection she so desperately wants. Unfortunately, Kishou Arima is the endgame mindset of Black Reaper Kaneki, to put it simply: someone who is impossibly distant, wants to die, and craves the approval of everyone.

Let’s expand on Arima for a brief moment. “Craves the approval of everyone,” specifically. He is both the One-Eyed King and the greatest ghoul investigator that ever lived. He doesn’t pick one or the other, and when he dies, he doesn’t have to pick. He is mourned by the CCG, and Kaneki, ever a puppet in someone else’s game, carries on his legacy and “wish“ for coexistence.

Eto is no exception to his godly levels of charisma. She is one of Hinami’s foils, and we know how quickly and easily she latched onto Kaneki. It’s safe to assume that something similar happened with Eto and Arima.

And Eto failed him. She doesn’t become king; someone else does. Someone very similar. And yet, when faced with this new person:

(re 56)

Well, then.

Eto also does everything in her power to give Kaneki the information he needs to break the eggshell. She freely gives away information about V, the Washuu’s involvement with them, the connection to the CCG, everything. Or as much as she can give him while under Cochlea’s surveillance.

So what’s the game here? Why does she support Kaneki, the one who basically stole Arima's approval, something everyone around him wants, from under her nose? Better yet, why is she aiding the search for her “replacement” in the first place? Because remember, even before Kaneki registered on her radar for a candidate for the OEK, she and Aogiri were searching for Kanou, the one-eyed ghoul maker specialist man. Aogiri wanted to use Kanou to make as many possible candidates beyond just Kaneki. So even without Kaneki in the picture, Eto wants a replacement. She wants this. Why?

Well, here’s what I think she actually wants:

(re 53)

There’s no other explanation that I can think of for why she would willingly get herself arrested and leave Aogiri to be fully exterminated on Rushima (the One-Eyed Owl totally could have turned the tables of that battle). She’s only lived as long as she has because she doesn’t want to leave anything unsaid. This is also the reason why she reveals herself as a ghoul as Takatsuki; she’s effectively destroying her own career while simultaneously giving V a huge middle finger.

This desire to close off everything she’s built up until now and pass the torch to Kaneki is also represented in her haircut; she’s literally shedding her burdens to give to someone else. Someone similar to her, but kinder than her. Better than her.

(re 52)

I’ve said what I’ve come to say. Thanks for reading!

#tokyo ghoul #eto yoshimura #sen takatsuki #tg meta #tokyo ghoul meta

83 notes · View notes

oenimo · 9 months

Text

What I want, what I wanted, but I know I’ll never get and the words “heir to the empire” have only cemented this as 100% not happening anymore

(fair warning that this is directly pulling from details from the Thrawn and Thrawn Ascendency books)

Ezra, furious and hurt and just barely eighteen makes the purgill attack the chimaera, makes them grab and break and pull it into hyperspace, makes them disappear into Wild Space. They crash into an unknown planet far from the know galaxy. Luckily, it’s habitable for humans, and slowly the surviving Chimaera crew wakes up, as do Thrawn and Ezra.

Stuck with nowhere to go, Ezra begrudgingly has to cooperate with the crew. Thrawn is furious with him, but practical (with a little bit of help from bridge crew to calm him down), and they don’t even like, jail Ezra. This is wildly confusing to Ezra, but in a good way, but he knows that even with the weird free trust he’s being given he still has to stay with them because no matter how good a Jedi, he can’t live on a completely unknown planet alone, let alone get off it without at least using the crash salvage

Slowly, Ezra begins to vaguely trust some of the chimaera crew. Not Thrawn, he’s still so suspicious of him, why is he doing this, why does he seem… so different than Ezra is used to? And he can’t forget how thunderously angry Thrawn during their first interaction after the crash. He’s calm now, but he was so angry. Why? When will it come back??

Eventually, things change. For a while there’s weird, rebuilding and building a new life vaguely, looking at if the bits of the chimaera can be salvaged to contact someone (but also knowing that none of the stars are familiar, they are so far from knowledge, who would they even manage to contact in this area?).

But the surviving chimaera crew ends up splitting, imperial loyalists finally having enough of the casual disregard for regulations and punishment Thrawn et al have been showing in regards to Ezra, as well as just… generally getting fed up and sick of listening to Thrawn et al when they’re letting Ezra be chill.

Unfortunately, the Thrawn loyalists (aka, the people on Ezra’s side) end up outnumbered because it’s hard to compare “previous loyalty to a man who literally is letting the guy who got you stuck here roam free and even asking for his help with shit and this guy is also an alien and the vast majority of imperials are xenophobic even if they’d grown to respect him it’s hard not to fall back given the extra hating circumstances” to “I am stuck on a completely unknown planet and it’s literally their fault”. This all leads to a split in factions of survivors, with Thrawn and loyalists being essentially run out of camp lest they be killed, and Ezra stuck going with them because somehow (it’s still baffling to him) this is the group that wants him dead the least.

In a far, far locale, skywalker Un’hee begins, pretty immediately after the battle of Lothal, to be plagued with dreams. Not all bad, most just kinda weird, but soon she starts seeing scenes of war and destruction and scenes of crash and desperate survival on an unfamiliar planet. The whole thing from start to finish is weird for her because it’s mostly humans, and some other aliens she’s never seen before, so how are they in her head? But when the worse dreams start, and then get worse, and then when she finally gets the crash landing dreams that are filled with a deep sense of “come help us come find us you’re the only one who can find us”, she ends up talking (crying) to Eli about it.

And he’s like. Ummmm. That sounds sus. I am… concerned. Because when she describes it, he knows she’s talking about humans. And it even sounds like empire humans. And maybe even his imperial colleagues. Who Un’hee really shouldn’t know???

So they go talk to Ar’alani, who promptly goes OH FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A FRUIT STICK and calls up Thalias, Che’ri, and Samakro (of whom Samakro definitely should have his name changed, and Che’ri almost certainly too).

Between the 6 of them and Vah’nya, with talks with Ba’kif and the rest of the CDF and CEDF, they end up sending a small search party for Thrawn et al. Un’hee and Eli for sure, possibly other big names, possibly minor support characters (like crew for a ship Eli gets out in charge of) or possibly literally just Eli and Un’hee. The ascendancy did, after all, kick Thrawn out. And they are, after all, relying on a 9 year old’s visions. And even though it’s happened before, that’s really dubious ground to stand on for committing resources to, especially when shit is dangerously close to hitting the fan in the ascendency itself then as well.

Cue lots of space adventures for both parties, as Eli’s party travels from the Unknown Regions to wherever the fuck Thrawn+Ezra’s ended up, dodging plenty of people against the chiss and probably some people with history with Eli (he’s not… really a friend to the empire anymore lmao), Eli trying to keep Un’hee safe and hidden, Un’hee trying desperately to follow her visions to the right places, and meanwhile the looming threat of the grysks hangs in the back of their mind that they really need to get back, they really need to bring Thrawn back, etc.

Thrawn and Ezra’s party on the other hand are basically in the show Manhunter: Lethal Space Edition. They’re trying to survive on the unknown world with the small amount of supplies they were able to snag on their way out, knowing that the planet also holds the hostile rest of the star destroyer’s crew, and knowing they have no way off and away except by finding and fixing/smashing together chimaera crash salvage. Maybe they get off the planet before Un’hee finds them, and they have their own road trip adventures too, maybe Un’hee and Eli find them there, doesn’t matter.

The two groups eventually meet, and things begin to come to a boil. The grysks have had all this time to make moves on the Ascendancy, and they might even be setting up in the Empire too now, if they’ve decided it’s worth it. Something dramatic probably has to happen to convince Ezra he’s needed there more than back in the Empire (tho the kid getting visions of his past and present is probably also a big factor, as is the “child girls are actively being kidnapped and held in forced labour for a species/legion/whatever hellbent on quiet takeover of everything ever in existence anywhere”) also, he’s been living on the “run” with Thrawn and co. for months now, and likely they’ve talked and come to some amount of understanding, especially re: previous actions done to each other and each other’s friends and family and factions.

The combined group heads back to the Ascendancy (possibly dropping off some Thrawn loyalists at other locales if they aren’t fully committed to going to help the ascendancy, but that all depends on the size of the Thrawn+Ezra group in the first place), and they have to deal with the grysks and likely a large amount of very very very bad problems that have occurred since Eli and Un’hee left. This (in additional to whatever amount of time it took for the two groups to meet in the first place, which itself could be like, a whole year) takes up the 4-5 years between Death Star and Rebels epilogue/Ahsoka show. Explaining why Ezra hadn’t come back yet by the epilogue time, because he’s busy fighting the grysks and helping the skywalkers and etc.

#star wars #star wars rebels #swr #sw rebels #ahsoka show #ezra bridger #thrawn #thrawn trilogy #thrawn ascendancy #thrawn books #oenimo talks #I have been in preemptive mourning since the Ahsoka trailer dropped and now my time to remain delusional and ignorant has run out

18 notes · View notes

ms-hells-bells · 1 year

Text

idk why the dog discourse is back again, but as someone that both lives in a country with high levels of pitbull/staffie ownership and interacts daily with dog owners and dog issues in my volunteer work, they aren't just randomly violent for no reason with good guardians who are shocked that it happened. the way people treat pitties here is fucking horrible, because they have the rep/stereotype of guard dogs or attack dogs, people who are lower class, close to or in gangs, use drugs, or are just hypermasculine get those male dogs, DON'T DESEX THEM (so, more aggression), don't properly train them, but scream at and beat them, because they think that's what will 'toughen' a pittie up and make them attack dogs. 99% of the time it does not, they just become miserable recluses, super withdrawn and fearful (most dog attacks are NOT out of anger or territory based aggression, they're fear aggression, when the dog feels extremely scared, and doesn't see a way out, and the human (often a child) ignores the warnings, like growling, showing teeth, certain poses, etc. another one is food/possession aggression, where their trauma and lack of proper training means that they cannot cope with people in their space and taking their things. you'll see bites at children who grab food from their dog bowls).

but they still love their owners, i have lost count of the amount of times, literally more than the fingers on my hands, i have seen men scream at, kick, punch, etc. their intact male pitbulls (not legal in nz unless a licenced breeder btw, but still a widespread issue), and the dogs still get excited and wag their tails, and want to play whenever the man comes back from work or whatever, they still seek touch and affection. it's just horrible, i have aided in someone else....disappearing a dog to a better life not exactly legally, that was treated like this because the spca wouldn't do shit, unless there's a dead or gravely injured animal, and people physically saw the owner/s do it, they don't care. those dogs have so often been abused from 10 weeks old, and they still seek love. very rarely some are so mentally damaged that they DO attack someone, and unfortunately they get put down, which i have complicated feelings about, but that's a different topic, i won't get into it in this post.

but yeah, you abuse a dog, don't train a dog, and destroy a dog's sense of safety, of course they are gonna be at a higher risk of aggression, because they have ptsd, they are traumatised and in constant fear of harm. and i do believe that there is a biological element due to the bite force of pitties and similar dogs, as well as breeding for specific personality traits. but we also see so many bites (far more than pitties and other large dogs) from small dogs, they just can't cause deaths or usually severe injuries because they are small, but they are attacking for the exact same reasons; fear and lack of training. so many people just have zero respect for other living beings. it's why i'm against breeding and domestication as a whole, because we just completely fuck with their lives for our own benefit. pitbulls as a species should not exist, just like near every other dog on earth apart from wild ones (that do include domestic species, but very quickly become just 'mixed' dogs). which is a similar opinion to many ANTI-pitbull people, but i come at it from an angle of empathy (as well as applying it to all dogs, we should not be breeding 'the perfect pet'). they didn't ask to be here and be treated so cruelly.

i'm not gonna reply to any responses to this trying to argue. i have posted about this before and had all those arguments. i know the statistics, i know the biology, psychology, and i have real world first hand experience. you are not fighting with me on my opinion on this.

36 notes · View notes

venus-is-thinking · 10 months

Text

Roman Numeral I and Footnote 14

Okay, so I was reading some posts by 1moreff-creator on the Literature Girl Insane MV (this one on the roman numerals and this one on the footnotes).

Specifically, I was looking at Footnote 14 and Roman Numeral I. Let's start with Footnote 14.

I didn't initially notice this one because it's so faint, but Footnote 14 appears at 3:52. Behind the text (the world of abnormal sentiment dances), there's a faint equals sign, and a footnote in the top right corner of that.

Footnote 14 is as follows:

[14] Hint: word length of 256

I had no idea what this meant, but a helpful anon told me it was Hamlet's soliloquy. After some unfortunate luck I got confused, seeing as Hamlet has 7 soliloquies and, based on the sources I looked at, none of them had exactly 256 words.

With the help of fuji-iri, though, the identity of the soliloquy was found! It's the most famous one: the "to be or not to be" speech. I'll link it here.

So, that's the identity of Footnote 14! The hint is telling us it's Hamlet's main soliloquy. Not too surprising considering there's, like, seven or something other references to Hamlet in this MV.

But, how does that connect to Roman Numeral I?

Well, I want to look at where Footnote 14 appears again. I'm going to show a few screenshots that happen all in a row.

Putting these together, you get I, then a bunch of numbers & a bunch more numbers = ?????.

Now, I'm not even going to try with the number scramble. I already know from the password thing that I'm completely useless at these number cipher type things. I'm just going to ignore those, the & sign and the question marks. Hopefully whatever it says/means doesn't completely invalidate my actual theory. My best guess is that there are two different puzzles here, and the numbers and & sign are a puzzle separate from what I'm solving.

Anyways, that leaves only two parts of it: the I and the =.

As 1moreff-creator points out in their roman numerals post, while the I here looks most like the roman numeral 1, which correlates to Xander, pairing him with (the world of abnormal sentiment dances) doesn't... make sense? Like, it doesn't feel like it means anything for his character.

However, if you ignore the number scrambles, you end up with something interesting.

I = 14.

What if Xander's roman numeral is being used to say that he corresponds to footnote 14?

It's not completely unprecedented for the footnotes to interact with the numerals. For example, Min's roman numeral X, or 10, appears in the form of a bloody X, like we see on the class trial portraits. However, there's a footnote in the top right, footnote 10, which tells us that roman numeral X is 10. This confirms that this is her number. Footnotes 6 and 17 are also found here, which further proves that it's possible for footnotes and numerals to interact.

So, this is very interesting. Let's consider that Xander's roman numeral connects him to Footnote 14, which, as we've established, is Hamlet's "to be or not to be" soliloquy.

Uh, content warning for suicide in this next bit.

This soliloquy is about considering suicide; to "be" is to live, and "not to be" is to die. I don't get the sense that Xander is particularly suicidal, but it's also true that he does clearly struggle with the weight of what's happened in his life. His secret quote is the literal definition of survivor's guilt, and in the second bonus episode "Visiting Graves," he clearly holds a lot of regret.

As we see here, Xander isn't particularly suicidal, but he clearly isn't, uh... mentally well? If his death is just "another pitiful waste of a human life" to him rather than, like, being important because it's his life, it's not a great sign. Plus, "Unnamed Classmate" (who is almost certainly Mai Akasaki), who knows Xander much better than we do, seems to think it's plausible that Xander would say that he wished he died there, so that's not great.

Plus, there's a line in the soliloquy about "the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks," which I think is funny considering he died via electrocution.

In any case, there's one more thing I want to point out regarding this.

Like I mentioned, there are several references to Hamlet throughout this MV. Notably, this exact soliloquy appears somewhere else in the MV.

The previous screen says to be, and the next screen says not to be. However, I've chosen the "or" screen for one very specific reason.

XIII. Teruko.

Yeah. If I'm right about this, that means that both Teruko and Xander's roman numerals are the to be or not to be speech.

Other than linking the two of them together again, I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I thought I'd point it out. It's a very interesting connection to give the two of them, as our early protagonist/support combo.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #fanganronpa #theory #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #literature girl insane mv #omg an lgi theory where i think i didn't name drop david once #this was way longer than i intended lol sorry gang #long post #but yeah i think this is super interesting if i'm right about this #if anyone has any clue what the numbers mean though lmk

16 notes · View notes

hanako-san · 1 year

Note

It might seem an annoy question but can you pls explain the end chapter of the red house arc I mean did tsukasa befriended IT( that what I call the black void) and he wasn’t able to leave the house so how does he know about the life his sorta clone or was that IT unless I keep reading it but still confused me 😞

This question is not annoying, just very exciting, and I really couldn't wait to answer it for you, but I had to postpone it due to personal matters, so I'm happy to finally be able to do it😆

I see. I think everything about the red house is so weird… and genuinely interesting.

Maybe I'll start with Nene calling it "fake" which I personally don't think Tsukasa with read house is fake. I think Tsukasa from the red house and 13-year-old Tsukasa are the same person.

I don't know where you are with the chapters but I have to give you spoilers. It has been confirmed that Tsukasa is the yroshiro Amane and is its most precious moon. that's why, I think that Tsukasa small and big are the same person, because it is not possible that this "fake Tsukasa" is the most precious moon and the person Amane wants to protect so much. That's why, I also believe that by Kou's words,little Tsukasa returned to his family burning down that red house. He's back, but he's not the same person he was before he disappeared…and he grew up with that thing inside and he died again and he's got that thing inside all the time, but we don't see it in his older version. That's why I don't consider the older Tsukasa a clone

I don't think he's made friends with that weird black hole in him. Tsukasa became more like a carrier of this thing. But it's also possible that it was the only thing he could talk to…Friendship is too strong a word, more like comrades… this thing probably uses Tsukasa. That's why I think don't make friends and after such a short interaction they don't look like they are friends. The red house knows people's desires, so this thing didn't tell him about his life. He just decided to come back after Kou's words to know what would happen and why. This black hole doesn't read the future, but human desires, it knows what someone wants to manipulate. I think so.. he knew that Tsukasa wanted to go home, that it became his desire, it makes sense. This thing… this house can read people's desires. Even as a ghost, Tsukasa is no exception.The second option could be that they got to know each other enough that he knows what Tsukasa wants to do, but they are not friends, that's too strong a word for me.

Tsukasa knew nothing.. nothing… he thought Amane had a great life without him..

It wasn't until Kou tells him how it really is and he was really shocked.Tsukasa was saying what he thought… not what the reality was. He didn't know the reality.

I find this whole arc interesting and confusing too. Unfortunately I don't have any other explanations at this time.. AidaIro can surprise :), so I know that they will surprise us more than once.I'm waiting for more tips :)

I'm honestly not sure if this thing can see the future or not. AidaIro can invent literally anything.

Edit:

In short. I believe that Tsukasa 13 years old and Tsukasa from the red house are the same person. The thing…. in him I don't think they're friends, more like comrades… Tsukasa is the bearer of this thing… for me… As for the future. Tsukasa sees what the human heart desires and uses it, he even knows exactly when that wish will come true, that means he knows the future of the wish when it is supposed to come true. This thing is too mysterious to say anything… It's possible that this thing knows the future, but Tsukasa isn't talking about it… I have no idea… well… let's see what AidaIro will do. I'm not sure of anything :)

Thanks for the ask

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #yugi tsukasa #jshk spoilers #my answers #scar-eyejolteon14

24 notes · View notes

deadn30n · 4 months

Text

good morning i bring some important yone headcanons

▹ unsurprisingly, yone doesn't have a heartbeat. this shouldn't come as a shock to anyone, given the man is quite literally an animated corpse, but just in case you didn't know? he doesn't have a heartbeat. the only exception to this is in the HEARTSTEEL universe. he died, yes, he was drowned by an Azakana, but i feel in this particular case, special circumstances w/ the Azakana currently possessing his body have allowed him to have a heartbeat.

▹ following up on the above point, Yone's skin is incredibly cool to the touch. as he doesn't have a heartbeat, thus he doesn't generate any body heat for himself. he can absorb it from others, but for the most part he's just cold. it's a large part of the reason he dislikes anyone touching him, as he doesn't want them to feel how cold he actually is. again, the only exception to this is the HEARTSTEEL universe, where he is warm.

▹ a third followup from this point is that because Yone died, he does not need to survive in the same conventional ways that humans do. he does not need to eat, sleep, or drink anything, even though he wishes he could. he has a habit of pretending he can just so he won't alarm other people and allude to the fact he's actually dead. likewise, again, HEARTSTEEL is the only exception to this.

▹ Yone prefers to use less words and more action when it comes to interacting with people. this is partially in due to his reserved nature, as well as the fact that death has utterly ruined his vocal chords. he sounds a lot more scratchy and distorted than he did in life, and dislikes using his voice in most cases because of it.

▹ Yone's eyes used to be a beautiful shade of emerald. however, after his death and the subsequential possession of the Azakana that followed, his eyes are now mis-matched with the right be bright red ( signifying the Azakana's spirit dwelling alongside his own ) and an alarming ghostly blue for the left.

▹ The mask on his face cannot be removed. It is the direct link between himself and the Azakana inside his body. As much as he wants to rip it off ( and has tried several times unsuccessfully to ), the creature is too deeply embedded into his very existence for him to be as easily rid of it as he wishes to be.

▹ The times where the Azakana can actually possess his body are far and few in between. Yone has an incredibly resilient spirit, making it difficult for the creature to have it's way with him whenever it wants. But for the times it does manage to surface, Yone is unfortunately rendered temporarily incapacitated and has no memory of whatever happens while it has a hold of him. ( This is also why he's strongly against the idea of possession for any reason and views it with immense spite. )

▹ In life Yone was a diligent man devoted to caring for his younger brother. He was determined at all costs to set Yasuo onto the right path, but ultimately felt like he failed to do so right before his death. In his new life, he seeks retribution for the wrongs he believes he committed and hopes he can still guide Yasuo from the shadows; like a whisper, barely out of earshot. He believes his redemption lays in Yasuo; and when Yasuo has reached redemption, then so too shall Yone. After this, Yone believes he'll be able to pass away properly and rest in peace, knowing he finally fulfilled his duties as an older brother.

▹ Despite his rebirth and desperation to find retribution and be laid to rest once more, he actually has a bit of humor to him. If you're fortunate enough for him to call you a friend ( or perhaps even a lover? ) you may even catch him making the very occasional joke in a subtle way. Even though Yone appeared to be harsh and even unkind at times, he did have a playful side to him. He just... unfortunately had to grow up much quicker than most children, as he had to ensure he could care for his younger brother properly.

#HEADCANONS: YONE.#tbt properly later lmao #i love yone so much my sad little man....

4 notes · View notes

agentravensong · 2 years

Text

who wants to hear a new story idea i just came up with this morning? no one? cool, let's do it.

inspiration-wise, it's a kind of more meta take on the stories of choice-based "interactive drama" horror games like the quarry - not meta in the sense that the characters become aware they're literally in a video game (this story idea isn't meant to be a game; would probably work best as a tv show tbh), but in a more indirect sense. it would also be better written /lh

the premise is we have a group of young adults who were all in high school together, and the youngest of them has now just graduated from college. to celebrate, they organize a meet-up with all their friends at a camp in the woods where they all spent a weekend as high schoolers, as a "let's reconnect and see how far we've come" sort of thing.

now, all the characters have slightly different memories of what happened that weekend those years ago, as they discover when they first arrive for the reunion and start reminiscing. they've even had nightmares - some more frequently and more harrowing than others - of terrible things that happened there. but none of them* believe those nightmare versions with supernatural elements to be true (because otherwise why the hell would they go back?). * except for potentially a character one or a couple who decide to risk going back to see what the truth actually was and/or to settle unfinished business

unfortunately for them, it's not long into their reunion when they start finding hints of a supernatural horror haunting the woods, and those "false" memories start resurfacing. the truth they eventually uncover is that, as teens, they not only lived through a quarry or until dawn -like scenario in these cursed woods, but they were also trapped in a time loop.

you see, the forest is home not only to [insert monster type here, still working that out, will take suggestions], but also some guardian spirits, who used their powers to guide the teens and rewind the events to try and minimize their suffering (they're, essentially, player analogs). the spirits ultimately saved the kids by taking on the curse of the forest in their steads, and were able to lock away their traumatic memories in the process. unfortunately, because of that choice, the spirits have grown weak in the intervening years, and the amount they'll be able to help the characters now is much more limited. this time, the humans are, for the most part, on their own.

with their four-to-eight years of additional life experience (will work out the specifics later), and their sporadic memories of how things went last time (blurring the lines between past and present), can our protagonists succeed in not only re-surviving the horrors of the woods, but also ending the curse for good? will their weathered bonds with each other get them through, or will they unravel from the stress, time apart, and unearthing of secrets both old and new?

and are the forest spirits truly the noble protectors they appear to be, or are they concealing ulterior motives of their own? after all, does every person stop playing these games once they get a good ending... or do some of them go back to see just how badly things can go?

all questions that could or could not be answered, in this story i will probably never write.

some bonus fun stuff:

i figure the characters would all have been fairly trope-y as teens, for the sake of creating a contrasting with their (slightly) more grown-up, developed selves. i would have to do more research for this, cause i'm not typically a consumer of this genre

potentially, one or two of the teens actually got left behind in the past (either having died with the spirits unable to save them and/or having in the intervening years become a grizzled survivor type). the other protags, of course, don't know this, with their memories telling them the lost souls simply stopped being in contact shortly after the trip. lots of angst potential for when they learn just how wrong they were.

as mentioned above, i'm not sure what type of monster would be most fitting for this story. i like the idea of it being a type that can infect humans such that they turn, ala werewolves or vampires, for the purpose of having at least of the protags having gotten infected in the past and not knowing until it resurfaces at the reunion. plus then the monsters hunting the group could be other humans who have gotten trapped like this and suffered a less fortunate fate. could also be the case with the spirits, regardless of the rest of this.

that's all i have for now. very up to hear what anyone else thinks of this concept :)

#do i dare tag this with the things it's inspired by?#...fuck it.#the quarry #until dawn #let me know if i should throw any content warning tags on this #narrative nonsense

9 notes · View notes

septembersghost · 1 year

Note

I absolutely hate when people talk about Taylor's rumoured hookups. This is why I hate the theories like WD=AS or Tenfefife sea is about Taylor or even her supposed hookup with matt Healy . Being invested in her s*x life is weird. Talking/guessing about whether joe banged her when she wore a black dress is weird. Swifties really think stanning someone means you have authority to discuss most intimate details of their life. (Same with harry. I saw someone diagnosing him of ADHD on fucking tiktok because apparently he forgets things is invasive.) Also if you don't think she was being truthful about a song make up your own story for that instead of playing guessing games. Saying she *definitely* did x y z is fucking weird. We don't know them. They are strangers to us. She is a celebrity not our best friend. Let that woman live her life

yeah i am very uncomfortable with that myself. i don't have a problem discussing her muses/experiences to an extent, and the way she embeds that into her work, because i think it's worthwhile in understanding her and what her writing means from her (even when we then internalize it and make her music about experiences/feelings for ourselves! which we should!), separating her and what she's telling us from her art does her a disservice, i think, and there are so MANY meaningful connections between her various songs/albums that the whole picture of it is more clear when we do extend her that understanding. but, for me, that's different than "theorizing" about stuff that isn't a part of the work or we don't have a concrete basis for. (this is not even to MENTION some of the things that go on, i just don't know how people get so lost that they can't see when what they're doing is invasive and wrong to the point of being unwell). the talk about [insert famous man she interacted with here] upsets me when we know how much that damaged her and made her feel like she couldn't even have a relationship! and maybe i'm a hypocrite because i've discussed situations and romances she expresses in depth on the albums, but by the unfortunate default of our celebrity culture and the reporting that goes with it, we do know those things and recognize the people and connections in them, there are just...lines to what i'm comfortable with. like, for example, i don't mind talking about what joe means to her because it's literally all over five albums' worth of material and has fundamentally changed her life, but publicly assuming things about their intimate moments or dissecting them to exploit their presumed flaws is just...??? those are real people!!! their status as public figures doesn't make them less deserving of respect and consideration! it's super weird to talk about real peoples' lives and most private moments like that. or with wcs, i don't feel it's okay to guess what she experienced (and it's even worse to say she's lying for attention...my god), all we need to recognize is that whatever happened traumatized her and is something she's spent many years processing, and that's enough to give her compassion!

i also really do not like the armchair diagnoses that go on in fandom either (since you mention that with harry), treating human beings like fictional characters simply doesn't sit well with me. if someone hasn't openly discussed a struggle or a diagnosis, it's not up to us to assign it to them.

why do you think they then express feeling trapped or feeling like they're not allowed to breathe or ever slip or up that they've been turned into dolls? it's remarkably unfair. :/

idk i just feel like it becomes far too easy for some to separate from the idea of famous people as also being real, flesh and blood, people in this world. everyone has different lines in discussing that, but there are some very firm ones for me.

#anonymous #letterbox #blind item culture is bad and ugly and there are several places specifically that i blame for this level of rot and they're all unethical #thrown out speeches #(cdan gawker ontd being the worst tmz and dm following closely)

1 note · View note

1800duckhotline · 2 months

Text

Im posting this separately so maybe if others want to see it they can but, I'm assuming this refers to Kuobakhaya and Adele (the girls i posted last night)

IT'S KIND OF FUNNY BECAUSE THEY... DON'T really court each other. It's mostly because of funny circumstances. I have to really get in the mind zone to be detailed but what I could grasp of their dynamic for now is that Bakhya is someone who gets infatuated fairly easily; she has a tendency to find attractive people who look Mysterious And Cool and who happen to be alt, often times (due to being surrounded by that kind of crowd a lot as a young adult). unfortunately this tendency to fall head over heels easily for others has a remarkable history of getting Bakhya in horrid relationships - at least, the last three boyfriends she's had ended up being all three terribly horrible, for a myriad of different reasons each, but still awful nonetheless. So she's still shaken up psychologically by the idea of committing to someone romantically again; especially since her last two boyfriends were particularly vicious and left her with an even poorer sense of self - whatever she had left of it before meeting them, at least. [I have yet to re-elaborate all her past relationships, but suffice to say the first ever boyfriend affected her in a way that was less outright abusive and more a bunch of sad circumstances.]

Adele happens to fit the definition of Mysterious And Cool And Alt for the most part, however this isn't something she does on purpose... her circumstances are... kind of peculiar, and that's why she's like that. The best way to put it is that she is a bird-like creature within a human's body, and her purpose in life is to navigate and learn human emotions the best she can. She is unfamiliar with romance, but not at all against indulging it, also because for her it's just a new experience altogether. Adele has a basic definition of it in her head, and vaguely knows the ins and outs of it by watching TV shows and movies and reading of it from time to time. Though it is a rare occurrence for her, since she works as an assassin for as long as she can remember.

So it's kind of awkward when Bakhya actively starts trying to catch Adele's attention - do keep in mind it's important to remember Bakhya also thought herself heterosexual until like, basically meeting Adele. She had suspicions before because admittedly, any man that isn't Tisha makes her feel uneasy by default, but getting to know Adele basically confirmed it and she's so awkward but in a like, endearing way because she's discovering something she never thought possible and it's a nice thing among the rest of her otherwise instabilities in life (her being a recovering drug addict who is also an immigrant to England). Bakhya tries to do things for Adele that she knows can be of help, like mending her clothes or trying to make her food if she comes visit, or showing her movies she likes and showing her around town (the places she thinks are important at least).

Bakhya isn't outright pampering Adele like some kind of mother, just showing signs that she's interested in her beyond like, casual conversation, and her love language is usually acts of service at first (if genuine, an habit instilled by unfortunate past circumstances - Kuobakhaya definitely has a fear of abandoment).

Adele is... interesting, because she may not be used to societal customs like we may be but she can catch on things fairly quickly; she has a sharp mind and is good at putting puzzle pieces together. I think at first she would be content with letting Bakhya fuss over her a little, without taking advantage of it, just enough to send the message that "this is nice and I appreciate it". Being as curious as she is, Adele likely ends up reading books about courting and how romantic interactions work prior to dating. But it's a very slow burn, because Adele's feelings develop much much slower as she is literally learning from start to finish how emotions work.

What she does to reciprocate Bakhya's acts of service are generally acts of physical affection because it comes very natural to Adele. The most obvious thing is that Adele quite literally preens Bakhya, or at least, the human equivalent to it, but she loves brushing Bakhya's hair and helping her wash it. Adele also is very casual with hugs, which she does very often when she's with Kuobakhaya (which is otherwise something Bakhya isn't used to but loves even if she's shy to admit it, she's severely touch starved) because she enjoys how Bakhya is Very Very warm compared to herself ...

Also Adele is very blunt, and speaks matter-of-factly basically which helps Bakhya be less paranoid and worried first of all . Second of all the compliments she pays to Bakhya tend to make the latter explode in fluster ghgfnffgjfkfm

THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I haven't even touched on half of them. Basically they court each other Yes and No due to one of them being very hurt from past relationships and trying not to rush anything in order not to hurt again, and the other being new to romance, even if she accomodates the feeling she wants to make sure it's genuine before making it serious.

Also Tisha is very overprotective of Bakhya but he won't say a word of it, even if he finds Adele annoying for various reasons. They're both in their 30s and his little sister can do whatever she wants. BUT it makes for funny awkward situations

#oc rambles #DERANGED DERANGED DERANGED #AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #sorry for the long post.

1 note · View note

multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

Text

request; Can I request Nagito, Kokichi, and Rantaro with an s/o that has a hard time understanding why someone feels a certain emotion in situations?

pairing(s); rantaro x gn!reader, nagito x gn!reader, kokichi x gn!reader

warnings; blood, violence, broken noses, strong language, kind of angsty — sorry that nagito's is super long- i started off with him and i haven't written in a long time so i just shit all over the place, fluff at kokichi, i have mood swings I'm so sorry about the whiplash you are about to witness

note; yesss i am back to finish these requests yurrrrrr sjansjdhfbasdkjfds I'm not gonna make a big announcement or anything(I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything in my life rn, so I'm sorry for people who are waiting on me—) , just gonna spit out as many finished requests as i can, sorry for the abrupt pause of everything by the wayz ill be (hopefully) regularly posting works from now on.

(also this request was kind of vague, so i used the example of someone getting upset/angry and reader not understanding why; i hope that's okay :'))

Nagito Komaeda

◊ I think Nagito would understand your struggles more than anyone else.

◊ And… honestly, it kind of reassures him that you share a struggle with him. It makes him feel less alone, less like the odd one out.

◊ Being similar to someone like you in any way, even if it was a genuinely difficult and real struggle; was a blessing in disguise for someone as lowly as him.

◊ Getting that out of the way, Nagito would never see your struggle as what it is. The way he views you, how highly he puts you up on a pedestal, as well as how much hope he believes you to hold; he, at first*, won't help you at all with your struggles.

◊ As a strong believer of hope overcoming despair, good defeating bad; Nagito is positive that the struggles you hold will always be defeated, bludgeoned into a despairing sludge by your all-mighty hope.

◊ And at first, he won't even think of this as a bad thing! You should be proud of it, of course, unless it stirs despair within you.

◊ * That being said, if he sees you struggling with your inability to understand human reactions to an awful point, he would put his obsession with hope aside, and focus on trying to help you as your boyfriend.

◊ Though I'm afraid, he wouldn't be much of a help, because he gets stuck on this one too.

◊ If you ever unintentionally angered someone, however, and/or provoked them to potentially hurt you; he'd immediately step in and lay the damp washcloth of apologies on the accidental fire you had set.

◊ Though there is a high chance, he'll make it worse by saying something he hadn't intended to sound condescending. It just came out that way.

◊ Nagito would never put your well-being before his insatiable need for you to accelerate and empower your hope.

◊ He's your boyfriend before he is your admirer of hope.

— "What...? How can you- how can you be so calm!?" Confusion, fear, and intimidation seemed to overwhelm you as you stepped back, eyebrows creased in utmost confusion as the person before you, seemed to have been angered by your wording.

Suddenly, you had started repeating and reversing over what you had previously said, scanning your wording for things that could have been perceived as offensive; only to grow even more confused as you had found none.

"I... What? Are you... are you mad at me or something?" Your genuine tone of voice, as well as the genuine look of confusion on your face, had been blurred and unnoticed as the ugly emotion of anger seemed to destroy their human senses— and the person had unfortunately taken your question as an insult.

Without another word, the sickening crunch of flesh and bone hitting flesh and bone echoed throughout the trial room. Flesh and bone that had thankfully, and unfortunately, hadn't belonged to you.

"Holy- Someone hold them back!"

"There's... no need for that...!"

Turns out Nagito took the hit for you.

He peeled the hand tending to his nose away from his face, revealing the nasty bruising and the blood dripping down his nostril—despite the gruesome sight of it all, he still seemed to be smiling. Smiling as if something amazing had just happened, and he was dying from the joy he had been feeling.

He wasted no time to spew out whatever he could think of, despite the shock and adrenaline from getting a broken nose, he still fought through the struggle to speak properly, as well as merely breathing without immense pain.

It was like second nature to him, to steer the blame and the aggression away from you—even if it almost killed him. Anything... to protect his hope.

"Haha, this is... Whatever you need to achieve your hope, whether it be a good old-fashioned beat-down or... murder;" a laugh crossing the line to psychotic erupted from Nagito's scratchy throat.

"I personally invite you all—especially (name)—to bruise me up and brutally murder me for your pleasure, and your hop!" —all at the expense of him making sure no one gets the chance to lay a single finger laid onto you.

◊ He loves you, and he swears this is out of (mostly) good intention <3?

◊ i- i think i lost it somewhere in the middle

Rantaro Amami

◊ Literally, the most understanding, supportive, and comforting man you will ever meet and have as an emotional support boyfriend when you struggle with humans and just... humans.

◊ For first impressions, Rantaro will remain as understanding as he already had been, and is. If he visibly sees you struggle with the reactions of others to specific situations, he'd never start up shit, as well as assume you mean something bad immediately. He will always give you the benefit of the doubt, and the fact that he loves you may have been a factor — but I swear, he does this with everyone else too.

◊ If you ever responded/reacted to something that normal human beings usually respond differently, Rantaro would definitely notice, but he wouldn't say anything until he had his suspicions confirmed — and until someone else decided to get pissy or upset about it.

◊ If you ever get into a conflict with someone about how you seem emotionless( even though you're really not ), Rantaro will always be there to defend you and back you up. The first thing he would do is try to understand your side, then their side, and then try to see how the two fit together, and how you both grew to have your reaction.

◊ Most conflicts and arguments end peacefully, at fault to Rantaro's experience of being exposed to many personality types(his sisters), and completely normal and human struggles(also his sisters).

◊ Though, notice how I said most.

◊ Some situations and arguments, really can't be resolved, nor looked past—especially when personal, and very strong feelings are involved. You really can't avoid it when people are still grieving.

◊ But even so, Rantaro will remain a mediator and a peace-keeper until the end; he doesn't and never has enjoyed violence or super over-the-line arguments.

— "N- no, I a- actually don't understand...! I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, shut up! No one's believing that crap!" The shock and the hurt from their words had visibly affected you — the disbelief and their rage hadn't done anything to calm your anxiety from not having understood what had been wrong.

Rantaro would intrude on the one-sided argument, a gentle yet nervous smile on his face as he tried to put some distance between you and the person who had gotten offended. "Hey now, I understand you're upset, but it'll be safer for all of us if you don't insult them. I'm sure this was just a big misunderstanding... let's sit down, yeah?"

◊ If you ever feel frustrated or upset about a past interaction with someone he had reacted in a way you hadn't expected, feel free to expect Rantaro to be there for you with his comfort. Whether it be assurances, hugs, or just a listening ear; he'll be there for you.

◊ He may not understand your struggles to an extreme extent, but he will try his best to empathize with you and to understand you; and if he doesn't? That's okay. Because he still has cuddles + listening to you rant as his plan B solution on getting your frustrations out.

Kokichi Ouma

◊ Kokichi... doesn't understand you at all.

◊ It's second nature to him to react abnormally or to over-exaggerate towards something that probably shouldn't have gained a reaction like that — but that doesn't necessarily mean that had been his true reaction from the start.

◊ They're lies, well, most of it.

◊ When Kokichi notices your confusion, or if you come to him about your frustrations; he won't believe you at first. It's a stupid thing to not trust someone about, yeah, but he lies all the time about this kind of thing — so not only would he feel terrible if you were telling the truth about your real struggle, he would-

◊ Oh, you're telling the truth?

◊ ... Oh.

◊ Well, of course, he feels horrible for his past faked reactions and lies. A part of him believes it to be his fault entirely, whilst the larger, louder part of him believes it to be someone else's fault.

◊ And he's a liar; so of course, he'll lie. To himself, at least.

◊ "Wha—!? Who's been confusing my beloved? Gimme names and I'll get 'em!"

◊ He's not much of a listener, nor a person who really just... talks about serious shit. So despite not wanting to talk directly about serious things, as well as not being the best at comforting you in a 'serious' manner, he has his own little way of dimming your frustrations with human beings.

◊ He won't show it, nor will he mention it, but he does try to be more transparent with you; as well as tries to be less confusing when talking and/or interacting with you.

◊ The reactions are dimmed down, and despite that, he still continues to be silly and still continues to joke around — just not in a way that'll frustrate or confuse you(ish). He's all about getting reactions out of you, especially frustration but, he wouldn't purposely augment your anxiety about this type of thing.

◊ ^^ If he was to do that, however, he would always tell you it was a lie afterwards. After all— despite enjoying the thought of you thinking of him all week—he doesn't want you stressing and/or overthinking about it for the rest of the week.

◊ Kokichi definitely feels guilty of your struggles, however, they may have not blossomed directly from him, he still feels horrible for triggering it? You? — look- what he's trying to say is, he feels awful, and he hadn't meant to make your struggle with understanding other human beings, worse.

◊ Though there are times he does find your confusion and gullibility to be sort of entertaining in a way, but he would constantly feel bad about finding pleasure in your frustration.

◊ Kind of bad.

— "Nishishi! I'm just saying, if someone took a fat shit on my lawn, I would thank them—"

"Wh- Seriously.. ? Why??"

◊ He finds it hilarious how you seem to take his words to heart, but of course, fun comes to an end as he says—

— "Nope! It's a lie!"

257 notes · View notes

fategranddisorder · 2 years

Text

@ 2 wonderfull anons

"u should do a continuation of the sherlock one, its to hard to find good writing especially with the fandom dying out, i really like the way u write keep it up <3"

"omg please do more sherlock/drug content the one on your page is literally my favorite and I can't find anything else like it <3"

So, this one got a bit out of hand. I wanted to write some plot, but also porn, so now it has both.

Enjoy ❤

His to keep (Sherlock) -request-

|Part 1|

Warnings: Minors do NOT interact, Dark Content, drug use, manipulation, obsession, nsfw.

Tags: afab reader, creampie, dubcon, porn WITH plot.

It really isn't hard to notice you change. The tension in your body has disappeared like snow before the sun and your laughter is echoing through the halls of the wandering sea once more.

Yet there is something off.

Off how Sherlocks shadow is always close to your own.

Off how his sharp gaze never leaves you.

And Davinci finds it a little hard to keep silent.

"Be careful now"

Her voice rings out when you finally leave the room. Sherlock sighs before looking at the artist. The tension in the room is thick, one wrong move, one wrong word could tip scales into an unfortunate event.

Davinci knows this and she finally realizes in this moment how deep Sherlocks' admiration, his obsession, for you runs.

Sherlock has been careless. Careless in the way he touches you. Careless by giving into his desires more easily since you stepped into his room that fateful night.

It is so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when you are laying in his arms.

Yet Sherlock doesn't expect the next words that leave Davinci's mouth.

"Hmmm, just, promise me you keep Master safe"

The words feel like acid on Davinci's tongue. Much like the feeling in her stomach, she should have noticed this behaviour much sooner. Perhaps she could have kept you safe.

Sherlocks raises a slim brow at the Rider. Tilting his head as his eyes narrow. He could see she was holding back, you are precious to her as well. Family, a dear friend.

The detective knows very well that the sentence is a threat all the same. But he would never harm you. So he simply nods before leaving the room as well, leaving the Rider alone with her thoughts.

In the end Davinci does nothing.

The artist grinds her teeth, too much hangs in the balance for her to intervene in this relationship.

The world depended on your strength, your will to keep going, your humanity. Sherlock made himself a key aspect in that and Davinci blames herself for not noticing.

Come what may, she would bear the consequences of her decision she made today.

As day gives way to the night, every single soul in the Wandering Sea slowly succumbs to sleep. Yet without fail you seek the great detective out.

For someone to talk to, for his warmth, but most of all for him for his experience and guidance in that euphoria only he can bring.

Today is no different. Yet there is a strange urgency to Sherlock today. You can feel it in the way he pulls you towards him, in the way he kisses you, in how he almost steals your breath away with his warm touches.

'Why?'

Questions are on the tip of your tongue. You know the longer you wait, the harder it will be to remember them. Yet you say nothing as those precious seconds of clear mind tick by.

'What happened?'

Warm hands guide you. Slipping underneath your clothes, pushing and pulling at the fabric that hides you from him. You gasp as your bare back hits the fabric of the sheets. Your mind struggles to catch up with the sensations that slowly overwhelm you.

'What makes today different?'

Yet those questions move so easily from the tip of your tongue to the back of your mind. Further away, until you couldn’t hear them anymore.

Sherlock expertly silences any doubts and questions within your mind with a press of his fingers between your legs. And he is absolutely delighted with how wet you are, a smirk is on his lips as he works you open with his fingers.

He is so beautiful.

His cock, his body, his warmth. Everything about him makes you drown a little bit further in that mind numbing euphoria.

Sherlock adores it. He adores all of you, how you struggle so immensely underneath the pressure the world puts upon you. How you grasp the fraying strands of your humanity with every destroyed world.

How he is the one that makes you hold on. Almost just as tightly as you hold onto him now. As he finally slides his cock into your cunt with a wet squelch.

A gasp leaves your mouth as it already feels like it is too much and Sherlock hasn’t even started moving yet.

A chuckle and soft whispers of praise leave the detective's mouth frazzled mind barely making sense of it. Too focussed on the slide of his cock against your walls.

Sherlock feels how tightly you clench around him. Already at your peak and yet begging for more of him, more of that high as grind your hips against his. Your legs quickly winding around his narrow hips.

"Please"

Please move? please stop? More? You don't know anymore.

Normally you would feel slightly embarrassed by the wet sopping sounds that come from your pussy as Sherlock starts to move. Yet embarrassment is far from your mind as with every slick slide off that thick cock brings you close to the edge within minutes yet again.

Sherlock feels your euphoria as your mana coils and wraps around his body. And the Ruler lets himself be swept away with feeling of it. Drugs, highs, euphorias, Sherlock hardly felt anything since he became a servant.

Yet with you he could feel it all again. The familiar tingle gripping across his skin. The electric buzz in his veins as your mana mixes with his own. His once steady rhythm falls into a more uneven one. Your normal fickle control over your magic and mana is making the experience for Sherlock even more delightful.

You can feel how Sherlock starts to chase his own end. His thrust comes harder and uneven, yet never he fails to reach that spot inside of you that makes your toes curl and your back arch.

You don’t know how much time has passed or how many times Sherlock has pulled orgasm out of your warm and overstimulated body.

Your mind is no longer coherent and only things that leave your mouth are brabbles akin to 'please' and 'more'. Your mind focussed when Sherlock is going to pull another orgasm out of your worn body.

Sherlock also adores you like this, he loves you like this. Fucked a little silly and mind far away. He could go for hours, enjoy the high he hasn’t felt in ages from your mana. But as your hands grip the back of his neck tightly and another sweet plea leaves your lips he decides to have some semblance of mercy on you.

Sherlocks leans down and captures your lips, pushing your tongue back in your mouth with his own. His slick muscle curls around your own.

And then you could feel it. The hot throb of his dick as he cums inside, as Sherlock grinds his slowly against yours. Stirring and pushing it even deeper, it feels so hot and slimy inside of you. And you cum again from that, your body is buzzing and you mind trying and failing to keep up. The stroke of tongue against your own feels the same as the soft trob of cock against your wet walls.

Sherlock is careful not to crush you underneath his weight, also mindful of your sensitive and overstimulated body. Yet you needed more, even after all of that you needed to feel him even closer against you.

So with a giggle you pull the detective down so that he collapses on you. His weight and heat feels comforting on your buzzing skin.

"Hmm, you are such a greedy master." Sherlock whispers with a chuckle. The low sound of his voice and his breath against your ear feels absolutely wonderful, it makes you shiver and buck your hips just a little. Even the viscous fluid sticking and smearing around your thighs has your body tingling for more as Sherlock fucks his cum back into you slowly.

He will keep you until your mind becomes sober again, your worries and pain once again lifted while he left his mark deep inside of you.

Your body, your mind and your humanity. Sherlock would make sure you would keep it all until the very end.

#fgo #fate/grand order #k.writes✒#sherlock x reader #sherlock holmes #fgo fics #fgo fanfic #reader #fanfiction #tw: sex #tw: dubcon

45 notes · View notes

meichenxi · 3 years

Note

Ooh anything about linguistics and/or Chinese linguistics that interests you- what do you find most interesting?

Ooooo thank you! First let me apologise for the lack of rigour i.e. sources - I am ILL.

HMMMMM ok...let me talk a little bit about one thing I find fascinating - the idea of 'linguistic complexity'. It's an interesting topic that a) demonstrates the failures of linguistics that only takes Indo-European languages into account; b) demonstrates how a conflation of linguistic and moral judgements leads to absolute chaos; and c) proves that sometimes the purpose of all models and hypotheses is to be a useful aid in description, and not to be 100% accurate. Which means that multiple models can exist at the same time. Also, it shows just how cool Classical Chinese is.

I'm going to make this into two posts because I have been asked to wax lyrical on this stuff twice...this one will be a general overview of what linguistic complexity is and some of the issues around it, and the other post (@karolincki 's ask) will be an overview of these issues as pertaining to Modern and Classical Chinese.

Linguistic complexity: an introduction

What is linguistic complexity? Basically what it says on the tin: how 'simple' or 'complex' is one language in relation to another. If you automatically think that sounds dodgy - aren't all languages equally complex? what is a simple language? etc - just hold on. We'll get there.

A very important starting point: complexity here only refers to linguistic complexity. There are many ways to measure this, but broadly speaking it refers to the amount of stuff in a language a learner has to deal with. Are there genders? Well, that's more complex than not having any, because it's an extra thing to remember. Do you have to express whether the information you're conveying is something you personally experienced or hearsay? Again, more complex than not. Different tenses? Essentially, you can look at complexity like this: if you were describing this language or putting it into a computer program, what is the minimum length of description you would need? The longer the description, the more complex the language. In a standard understanding of complexity, a language like English is more complex than a language like Vietnamese (English has more tenses, moods, conjugations, irregularity...), and a language like Georgian is more complex than a language like English (Google a single verb table of Georgian and you will see what I mean).

(this will be long)

What complexity does not mean is anything to do with the cognitive abilities of the people who speak it. It doesn't mean that people who speak English are unable to conceive of the difference between a dual and a plural (2 apples and 3 apples), just because the language doesn't mark it. It doesn't mean people who speak Chinese are unable to conceive of the past conditional ('I should have gone...') just because they don't have a separate tense for it. It doesn't mean Italian speakers don't know whether they experienced the thing themselves, or heard about it from someone else, just because they don't have a set verb ending for it. All linguistic complexity means is what the language requires you to express.

I'm putting this out there very clearly because this sort of thinking is bound up in a lot of racist ideas and ideology. You'll have heard of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis? Unfortunately named, since they never really worked together, and Edward Sapir was actually a relatively cool dude for the time who argued against linguistic relativity - i.e. the language you speak determines how you think. Yes, in the 19th (and much of the 20th) century, when certain linguists referred to 'simple' and 'complex' languages that is what many of them meant: speakers of a simple language are 'simple', and a complex one are 'complex'. But there was a huge backlash against these racist ideas, and that backlash was hugely influential is shaping the direction of typology (the branch of linguistics which is broadly concerned with these sorts of questions). More on that later, but for now: please understand that when I say linguistic complexity, I am not implying a single thing about the people that speak it.

Back to complexity. Of course language, like any system, is made up of moving parts: you don't just need to consider how many parts it has, but also how interdependent they are, whether they interact with each other in a predictable way, how likely they are to change. You might also want to consider how easy the system is to learn for somebody who has never used it before. And then, of course, languages are more complex still because they are not machines, but ever-changing things: do you count a rule like the conditional inversion in English, which only applies to a total of three verbs? Is that less complex because fewer verbs use it - and therefore you need to think about it less - or does that make the system more complex because you need another, meta-rule to say when you need to use it and when not? What about irregularity? Is a language like English that doesn't have many rules but has a sizeable amount of 'irregular' verbs more or less complicated than a language like Swahili which has a lot more rules, but follows them assiduously? And what happens when some people use one rule and others don't - do you count those as the same language (lumping), which may render the grand overview less accurate, or do you count them as totally separate languages (splitting), in which case when do you stop?

Hmm. Complexity. Is. Complex.

Those are a lot of factors that need to be considered here. Even saying something is 'irregular' doesn't mean very much without further quantification. For example, if I say that the 'irregular' verb ring goes to ring, rang, rung in English, you can very easily find other verbs which conjugate similarly: sing, sang, sung etc. So is that really irregular? Or is it just another, less productive rule? But then if it's a rule, why do we say fling, flung, flung and not yesterday I flang the ball? What's going on???

And what about 'total' irregularity, so called 'suppletion', where (and this is a very scientific explanation) a random non-related word just seems to appear in a paradigm, like it's got lost on the way home? Like I go, I went; like to be, I am, he is, I were; like good, better, best. Ok, so is the irregularity in I go and I went somehow....more irregular than irregularity in I sing and I sang? Uhh. Ok. And then is the irregularity in bad, worse, worst somehow more irregular than better and best, because at least for better and best you can see the -er and -st endings?? Finally, what about a 'spoken' but very predictable irregularity, such as the way we have a reduced vowel in 'says'? Where do we count that? Is that more irregular, or less irregular? Is it maybe 33% irregular?

I think you get the point. And of course all of this becomes more complex when you start to consider the interaction of lots of different systems at once. What about tone? If you have regular tone like Chinese, most people would agree that it's more complex because it's an added thing. But tone probably only developed in part as a response to losing some really important sound contrasts that other languages have kept...and also there is no possibilities of 'irregularities' in tone the way there are in something like verb conjugation...you can't just have a random sixth tone. And then what about syntax? If you have lots of very complex word ordering rules, is that more or less complex than a language where you have to rely on the human being to use pragmatics to infer what the ever loving fuck is going on?

Yeah. This is sort of just one of those things where every year a new linguist comes up with a spicy new matrix to 'measure' complexity and then everyone shits on them in journals and then comes up with their own idea which is promptly shat on. I don't know either.

Ok, so how is this relevant to Chinese?

To answer that question we need to circle round a bit to the history of typology that I vaguely alluded to earlier. At various points - depending on how racist the linguist in question was - people in the 20th century were starting to realise that all of this stuff about 'complex language = complex civilisation / complex thought' wasn't quite as water-tight as they'd hoped. Perhaps it was their better judgement, but it's also likely to have been influenced by a lot of contact suddenly with Native American languages - many of which are vastly complex by literally any metric you could possibly imagine, but the people speaking them were not colonising other countries and building amphitheatres and all of those necessarily, comfortingly European ideas of 'civilisation'. This movement away from such racist ideology, even if it was fuelled in part by a different type of racism, meant that suddenly everyone was very wary about making statements about linguistic complexity at all. It smacked of all the things they were trying not to be associated with.

I'm going to quote some Edward Sapir here for no other reason than I think it's really unfortunate that he's most famous for something that has the potential for incredibly racist ideology that he literally never said:

'Intermingled with this scientific prejudice and largely anticipating it was another, a more human one. The vast majority of linguistic theorists themselves spoke languages of a certain type, of which the most fully developed varieties were the Latin and Greek that they had learned in their childhood. It was not difficult for them to be persuaded that these familiar languages represented the “highest” development that speech had yet attained and that all other types were but steps on the way to this beloved “inflective” type. Whatever conformed to the pattern of Sanskrit and Greek and Latin and German was accepted as expressive of the “highest,” whatever departed from it was frowned upon as a shortcoming or was at best an interesting aberration. Now any classification that starts with preconceived values or that works up to sentimental satisfactions is self-condemned as unscientific. A linguist that insists on talking about the Latin type of morphology as though it were necessarily the high-water mark of linguistic development is like the zoölogist that sees in the organic world a huge conspiracy to evolve the race-horse or the Jersey cow.'

People generally began to get the hang of it after this, and stepped away from linguistic classification at all. There was a broad consensus that that sort of thing was done with, a thing of the past. It's kind of funny, because of course people's unwillingness to look at the complexity of language because 'all people are the same' shows that they still think language and culture/cognition are intimately linked! It was done out of a desire to not be racist, but you can't even reach that conclusion unless you have a sneaky secret bit of bioessentialism going on in your sneaky little brain. Because if the complexity of language doesn't reflect the complexity of your thought, why would it matter whether some systems are bigger than others? That they had more parts?

It literally wouldn't matter at all..

So what happened next? Linguists started to revisit these old linguistic classifications and ideas of complexity, but in the hope of proving, instead, that actually all languages were equal. You can definitely see the theoretical aims here: not only is a good from an ideological point of view (again, if you still equate linguistic complexity to complexity of thought), but it's also quite handy if you believe that all human babies approach language learning with the same biological apparatus ('Universal Grammar', if you believe in that, and other cognitive principles). If all babies have the same built-in gear, you sort of want the task they are given to be of roughly the same magnitude. That's one of those things linguists like to call theoretically desirable - which just means it would be neat if it did.

We're getting to Chinese. I promise.

So how you could make systems so vastly different as English and Georgian and Chinese roughly the 'same' level of complexity? One answer is irregularity: languages with huuuuuge verb and noun declensions like Georgian tend to have very little irregularity, where languages with less extensive systems like English tend to keep it around for longer. There are lots of reasons for this I won't go into, but it's a general trend. Irregular systems are more work for the brain to remember, which, predictably, is more 'complex' for a learner to acquire. Compare a language like English and German: German may have more cases and declensions and rules, but once you learn them...that's it. Compare that to English, where you'll be learning phrasal verbs and prepositions as a second language learner until the day you die (and possibly beyond). It's a different type of 'complex', but it's still deserving of the title.

That obviously doesn't work for a language like Chinese. Chinese has no conjugations, and so can't possibly have any irregularity in the same way. But fear not: there are lots and lots and lots of ways in which languages often exhibit what might be called 'complexity tradeoffs': languages with complex tone, for example, almost always have simpler sound systems elsewhere, and many languages with complex case arrangements tend to have free word order. One thing is complex, another...simplex (a word unfortunately genuinely in use).

This seems nice. We like this. It means that the different parts of the same system may be differently sized, but the whole system in total is about the same as any of other language. There’s just one problem: this isn’t how languages seem to work.

For every example of a complexity trade-off you can find, there are other languages which don’t have any such ‘trade off’ at all. There are plenty of languages where grammar is complex and the sound system is complex; or languages like Icelandic and German where there are cases but fairly rigid and fixed word order; or other cases where there is a huge amount of irregularity but also crazy verb systems, and so on. A language like Abkhaz has supposedly 58 consonants in the literary dialect: but it also has insanely complicated grammar. No trade-off there. Finally, it has long been presumed that whilst verb morphology etc is simpler in languages like Chinese, syntax would be more complicated: recently, a number of studies have proved exactly the opposite. Both, in fact, are simpler.

In conclusion, where does this leave us? Whilst the idea behind complexity trade-offs is well-motivated but not totally sound, and whilst these do not always seem to be present in the way you might hope, what this does do is force us as linguists to question whether we have spent enough time considering the types of complexity that are present in languages like Chinese, and how we reconcile that with more ‘familiar’ complexity. It’s interesting to think about because it shows what happens when you fail to consider these things.

That’s all for the overview on linguistic complexity today!! I’ll talk specifically about complexity in Chinese in the next ask, because this is already very long. Be aware, I’m not going to give you any answers necessarily - these questions are way above my pay grade - but boy can I give you some thoughts.

#chinese #linguistics #langblr #lingblr #linguistic complexity #meichenxi manages #askies #oh my god I am so looking forward to writing the next one #it's so spicy #love remembering that I actually sometimes know things lmao #stop the false equivalence of Sapir = the Sapir-whorf hypothesis 2k21 #the dude was actually quite progressive for his time #sighhhhh *squints at actual linguistics* hope this doesn't awaken anything in me #like the desire to go and do a masters #I hope this makes sense and I hope no one yells at me #if you want any sources I'm happy to give I'm just lazy and ill #source = brain #no I really do have books I promise

58 notes · View notes

tf2-hellhole · 3 years

Note

Can you write more headcanons about mermerc au with a love interest that studies and takes care of them?

Scout:

He’s an incredibly fast and agile swimmer, and he absolutely loves to show this off to you. He’s always doing flips and all kinds of little tricks to show off in front for you, and he’ll brag a whole lot more than normal if you’re actively studying something like his muscle structure or his swimming abilities.

If you two end up actually dating, he’ll always be swimming over to you when you’re near or in the water to try and get kisses from you. He pouts a lot if you tell him no, but he gets over it quickly.

Scout can and often does make all sorts of dolphin noises, like clicking when hunting. He often lets out those little whines and squeals when he sees his partner, as he always gets excited when he sees them.

Soldier:

Solly is known to be a very rough and rambunctious individual. This isn’t helped by the fact that he’s pretty big and muscular, as most shark merfolk are, and usually scares people with his sharp canines. With you, though, he’s incredibly gentle and careful. He knows he could hurt or scare you easily, but he’s so careful that there’s basically no chance of that ever happening.

He spends most of his time hunting, and he often brings you back fresh fish/crabs/whatever for you to eat. He gets rather excited to bring you food, almost like a puppy bringing you a ball. He’s completely baffled by the idea of NOT eating fish if you don’t for any reason, but he respects it completely and will start bringing you other cool things.

Pyro:

Pyro has burn scars over a part of their chest and arms, has tendencies to get very anxious, and is selectively mute, which show that they’re been through a lot in life. But they’re still a very cheerful and happy person most of the time, and they’re a very bubbly, and lovey around you. They know they have their ups and downs, and they’re so grateful to have someone as wonderful as you to help them through it.

Pyro likes to make little trinkets and jewelry out of things they find in the ocean. This includes stuff like shells, pretty rocks, and unfortunately often trash or debris. They give you all of the pretty, naturally made stuff they make, and they’re over the moon if you like what they make for you.

Demo:

Despite staying on land for most of the time, selkies do eventually have to return to the ocean. So his clan has a very old tradition where, for 4 months out of the year, they return to the ocean and don’t come back until the end of this period. It seriously breaks his heart to leave his friends behind, especially you. But when he makes it back, he’s so, so excited and smothers you in a tight bear hug before telling you about his family’s adventures and showing you things he brought you.

He’s a very silly, playful man, but he plays it up as he flirts with you. He plays games and goofs off with you, often in his seal form. He really enjoys making you laugh or smile, and it always gets him smiling too.

Heavy:

Heavy’s devoted his life to protecting his sisters and mother, so when he becomes romantically interested in you, this protectiveness he had for them is extended to you. If you’re ever out near the water and can/are interacting with other merfolk, he’s always keeping an eye on you or staying close to you, especially when someone he doesn’t trust (like Soldier or Spy) or someone he doesn’t know is around you. But of course, he respects your independence, privacy, and boundaries and will stop if you ask.

This dude is huge, literally like 800-900 pounds of pure muscle, and is bigger than most merfolk. Despite this, he’s incredibly gentle with/around you and would never hurt you.

Engie:

He’s an incredibly friendly and curious merman already, so he’s always chatting with you and/or asking you questions when you’re around the center. He does his best not to annoy you, but he’s such a sweet and sociable man that he rarely gets on your nerves. He loves learning about the human world, especially its technology. He’s fascinated by the tech the researchers use to study the menfolk’s bodies and psychology, and there’s often an exchange of information between Engie and the researchers.

He’s pretty small for a merman and isn’t able to defend himself very well, so he stays close to the center most of the time. So he gets to see you pretty often, which he doesn’t have any problems with.

Medic:

Medic’s attraction to you is rather bizarre, but pretty adorable. He has a huge, almost kid-like crush on you despite constantly being flirted with by other merfolk, because he’s pretty attractive by merfolk standards especially because of his colorful tail. He just finds your personality and how you treat him much more charming than than the merfolk that chase him around.

Of course, his tail is venomous, like normal lionfish, so he could probably count the number of times he can remember someone willingly touching him on his fingers. He’s unbearably touch-starved as a result. Luckily, there are rubber gloves supplied at the base, and he’d completely melt if you were to use them to touch or pet him.

Sniper:

Sniper has a distrust of humans because he was caught and almost killed by trappers. After getting injured again, he’s forcefully brought to the center by his best friend, Scout. He’s furious about being stuck at the facility, but he’s too injured to escape. He’s extremely hostile to every human that approaches him, often needing to be subdued. But over time, he becomes less and less hostile towards you. Eventually he doesn’t fight with you at all. He’s never been treated as kindly as you treat him, and because of your kindness, he can’t help but fall in love.

He’s fiercely protective of you. He doesn’t like other people touching you unless it’s a close friend or relative of yours, and will place himself between you and other merfolk if he can. If you tell him to stop, though, he’ll certainly try.

Spy:

Like Sniper, he’s wary of humans, but he isn’t aggressive unless humans push him out of his comfort zone. He only comes to the center to watch over Scout, at first, and he meets you through Scout. It takes a long while, but he eventually warms up to you. At first, he’s only curious about you, but as he gets to know you better he ends up crushing on you pretty hard.

He’s not subtle about his attraction to you; he follows you around when you’re near the water and giving you compliments and flirts. Unlike his relationships in the past, this is a romantic interest, not an attempt at seduction. So his flirts are ridiculously sweet, not sexual. He’s always happy to see you, and he wants to make sure you know.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 x s/o #tf2 x y/n #tf2 x you #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 demoman #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 imagines #tf2 headcanons #ens mermerc au

242 notes · View notes

m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years

Text

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am-

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I- i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black.

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

#ninjago #jay walker #zane julien #skybound #ninjago fic #not the best thing i've written #actually it's not great-#but i spent too long on it to not post it so if you actually read to here i simunltaneously wanna send you good vibes & apologize profusely-#the ending is super rushed but im too tired to try and write a better one yay:/#also dang it- sorry this fits the prompt so badly i-#i didn't realize till after oops #ninbingo #ninjago jay #ninjago zane #ninjago masters of spinjitzu

49 notes · View notes