IN MY DREAMS ...

THIRTY TWO / The end

WARNINGS / angst WC / 1425

IN WHICH / You join the photography club to be with your crush, jeongin. But on the first day of the club you notice he wasn't there but instead his best friend, beomgyu, was.

Life was smooth sailing until it took an unexpected turn. Where did our daily exchanges of good morning and goodnight disappear to? Why did everything crumble away so suddenly? I honestly tried to move forward. But it's nearly impossible when every little thing triggers memories of him. From guitars to flannels to apples, I even gave up sipping smoothies and nibbling on straws simply because it reminded me of when he’d say, "Biting straws is not good for you." 

Flashback —

I sat waiting in a cosy restaurant for the blind date that Yunjin and Chaewon had orchestrated for me. While I waited, I could hear those two friends chiming in through the phone. "Take this one seriously!" Chaewon's voice came through with an emphatic tone. "Yeah, don’t turn him down if he wants to see you again," Yunjin added, but I couldn't help but chuckle. You see, they'd arranged blind dates for me in the past, but I had always found a reason to bail.

"I won't bail this time, I promise," I assured them. "If I do, I owe you all tickets to the new Marvel movie." Their excited, almost childlike screams of anticipation came through the phone. "I'll catch up with you later, I think he's here." I hastily ended the call as I spotted a tall, handsome man taking the seat in front of me.

“Hi, I’m sorry I’m a little late” He muttered and I shook my head.  “No, it’s totally fine” I reassured him, taking a sip of the coffee I'd ordered earlier. Awkward silence hung in the air, and I was starting to contemplate asking Jeongin to fake a phone call about a car accident. Thankfully, Beomgyu decided to break the silence.

“Oh uhm, I’m Beomgyu. Chae Beomgyu”

The smile on my face slowly dropped.  God, all the memories came flooding back in.  My first date with Jeongin when Beomgyu worked at that restaurant.  The time we took pictures together during the school’s air show. Our kiss in the storage room when we were in Seoul.  My eyes then swell up with tears.  “Uh, I don’t really know how these blind dates would work” He chuckles but all I could do was start to whimper.  I see the worried expression he displayed when I all of a sudden started crying.  “Yujin? Are you okay?” My loud cries I guess gave him an answer.

End of flashback —

Be proud that, after a few years, I stopped those intrusive thoughts that seemed to bring him to mind at the most unexpected moments. I could finally watch someone play the guitar without superimposing Beomgyu's image over them. I wore flannels without having to pretend they were his favourite black and white one. I even got back to enjoying smoothies without feeling like I was trying to hold onto a memory, and I didn't shy away from biting the straws. Companies started using paper straws, but I stuck with it.

It has been a decade since Beomgyu disappeared, I became an artist and my newest painting found its place in the city's most prestigious museum. As I crossed the threshold into the museum, eager to lay eyes on my painting for the very first time, the entire gallery captivated me.  Sculptures and paintings, each more remarkable than the last, beckoned me. Their artistry was a testament to human creativity and expression.

I got to the hallway that showcased my painting and it was the first thing you’d see.  A small smile grew on my face, I was proud of myself.  The painting was one of the pictures me and Beomgyu took during the airshow years ago.  Painting that piece was a key moment of the process of moving on.

Wandering down the hallway, I chanced upon an unassuming door. My curiosity got the better of me, so I surveyed my surroundings before cautiously pushing the door open. What lay inside was a room filled with screens and digital artwork. It wasn't crowded, but a few visitors were scattered about, engrossed in the videos and artwork on display.

Across from me, I noticed another door, marked with a stern "do not enter" sign. My mischievous spirit from high school stirred within me, and I couldn't resist the temptation. I opened the door silently and peered inside.

Inside, a small vintage TV sat, its screen entirely black at first. Then, it began to glitch, displaying blurred images of people intermittently. Suddenly, the screen glitched again, revealing an image identical to the one I had painted. It then went black once more.

The screen glitched once more, this time revealing a photo of the apple tree that Beomgyu once took me to. Another picture quickly followed, and to my astonishment, it was an image of me, hissing at the camera.

Flashback —

“You are good at one thing," He remarked, you turn to face Beomgyu. “You paint, right? I haven't seen any of your works, but I'm sure they're lovely." You tried to suppress the smile that threatened to spread across your face, but the blood rushing to your cheeks gave you away. “Really?" Beomgyu snapped a picture of the trees, capturing a moment of natural beauty. “Mhm, you should show me one of your paintings, especially the one of Jeongin—"

“Ya! Quit teasing!" you playfully exclaimed, playfully hitting his head this time. Laughter escaped his lips as he pointed the camera at you. You hissed at the camera, unaware that he had already taken another picture.

End of flashback —

I have moved on, ask my friends and they will say the same thing.  But moving on doesn’t mean forgetting every memory I had with him.  The next picture was the video of Beomgyu I took during the airshow.

Flashback —

You get off track, your hand absent-mindedly turn to camera towards Jeongin.  You admired him but you noticed Beomgyu swinging his arm around Jeongin’s shoulder.  Again, you absent-mindedly turn the camera towards Beomgyu’s face instead.  You stood still secretly watching how the frat boys interacted with one another.  Until Beomgyu’s eyes catch sight of the camera that was pointed at him, resulting in him tilting his head.

End of flashback —

The screen turned black once more before showing a video of Beomgyu beside a young boy.  “Look at the camera. '' He told the boy and my eyes started to water.  I missed his voice.  The little boy started speaking “Hi, Yn. Uhm..” I covered my face with my hands, trying to keep myself composed but obviously failing.  “Have a happy new year” I heard Beomgyu whisper in the boy's ear.

“Happy new year”

“Say it with more passion like this, Have a happy new year!”

“Have a happy new year!” The boy said with more enthusiasm, making me laugh.  I watched as Beomgyu gave the kid a high five.  “Yes! Amazing.” Beomgyu complimented.  

I began to recollect the memory of Beomgyu mentioning his younger brother. I suspected that the kid in the video was probably his brother. The joy they must have felt reuniting after many years was evident. His brother began speaking, "You know, the girl working with Beomgyu is really pretty—" Beomgyu swiftly silenced him by placing his hand over his mouth. His brother wriggled free from Beomgyu's grip and playfully proclaimed, "Mhm, it's true!" It brought a laugh from me.

Now, Beomgyu stood alone in the meadow under the night sky. The stars and the moon illuminated the scene. I observed as he took steps closer to the camera, bending down to fit the frame, ready to speak.

"I got out of bed just to show you this," he said, adjusting the camera to capture the moon and stars. Memories of our late-night drives and nights spent by the Han River, gazing at the sky, flooded my mind. Beomgyu continued, 

“Uh, it's two in the morning in Korea, so you’re probably asleep.  I know it’s about to be a year since we last saw each other but, hold one just a bit longer.  I’ll come see you soon, because I just know that it’s not gonna be an amazing year if I don’t spend it with you”

Those were his final words before the screen faded to black. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. I was crying as intensely as I did on that blind date. I didn't care if someone found me; all I cared about was how Beomgyu could say those things but not come back. As I sobbed, I noticed the screen displaying:

In remembrance of Choi Beomgyu

(2001-2023)

MLIST / PREV

A/N: this is the end. Thank you so much for waiting. I apologise that it took too long. I started school again and everything just went chaotic. Anyways. Thank you so much for reading and I had a lot of fun creating this story. Thank you again for everything I love you guys saurrr much.

TAGLIST: @captivq @beomomb @flowerbe0m @rosenatorfirst @xtra-cheese @tya0 @catsyoon @woncheecks @ioszzn @kaeebtch @beoms-sugar @kaewonie @huening-ly @aernx @yumilovesloona @i2lain @myknifeyourlife @xrvrqs @sandhyaaa-aa @belovedxiao @beomsbeanie @yeonboy @beomies-world @tyigerz @ahnneyong @luvsoobs @eggeutarteuu @idgyuaf @ajakaashi @tae-ology @ikyuzies @marshmelle @wasteofoxygenn ( taglist is open )

2023 © lqbeo

Natalie Shau's "Camera Obscura"

Currently on view at Roq La Rue Gallery in Seattle, Washington is artist Natalie Shau's solo exhibition, "Camera Obscura."

Natalie has gained international attention over the past two decades for her distinctive melding of fashion and dark fantasy. She is a photographer and digital artist who in addition to award winning commercial work for clients, has also exhibited works in numerous galleries around the world.

For "Camera Obscura," Natalie has created a series of framed 1/1 (meaning each print exists in an edition of only 1) prints exploring her latest foray into digital manipulation as an art tool using AI. This series is meant to speak to the concept of "post-photography", of creating "photographs" that could never actually exist in real life.

To further reference the concept the subjects of her images are ghostly, ethereal models splashed in crimson touches. On first look they look like they could be in a high end fashion magazine, only to slowly reveal an alien-esque and slightly jarring unhuman and cold beauty.

THE SUPERSONIC ART SHOP | FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM

Boris Becker Bankruptcy Bad Investments Nigerian Oil Ghana and Internet scrubbing: Just who is Misan Harriman? by u/Maleficent-Trifle940

Boris Becker, Bankruptcy, Bad Investments, Nigerian Oil, Ghana and Internet scrubbing: Just who is Misan Harriman? ​Misan Harriman, Lilly Becker, Boris Becker, Photo: Dafydd Jones: Dafjones.comWe've seen enough of his 'photography' to understand 'mild-mannered photographer' isn't really his 'jam'. Sinners familiar with his 'work' won't be surprised he only took up photography in 2019 when his wife gave him a camera for his 40th birthday.A search of the internet will almost exclusively turn up articles about Harriman's now well known connection to Meghan Markle and Harry, he also photographed Beatrice & Edo for their engagement announcement. You might catch wind of his 'groundbreaking' British Vogue cover or his 'photojournalism' of the BLM protests in Britain, perhaps even his involvement with Sistah Space (of the wildly inauthentically costumed and ill-mannered NgoziFulani fame). Maybe even his Disney photocall for real life small children or how Soho house occasionally promotes his work.But what the internet doesn't want you to read about Harriman seems far more interesting. Prior to his royal related re-invention, Harriman was previously described as a 'business partner' of Boris Becker. Such was Harriman's presence in Becker's life he was quoted saying "‘I’m like the other woman in his marriage’". Boris as you may know has run into some money difficulties over the past decade or so, including bankruptcy and losing most of his fortune, resulting in time in prison. In fact, despite their apparent closeness I could only find one photo of Boris & Misan together (above). Articles connecting the two either no longer exist/have had Harriman's name deleted/are behind a paywall.Curiously, Misan-pre-Meghan, is on the record chatting about Nigerian Oil here: Misan Harriman, The Mastermind Behind the Digital Platform What We Seee - Best blogs about lifestyle, #1 Fashion and lifestyle blogs (zezeonline.com) - amongst other things like his time as a club promoter and digital PR strategist. This is a rather curious connection as, wouldn't you know, it has been reported Boris Becker lost his $178 million fortune 'investing in Nigerian oil firms' - NZ Herald. According to Der Spiegel, "a Nigerian employee of Becker's "prepared a deal in which at least ten million dollars should be invested in Nigerian oil wells".Fellow Sinners, over to you. It's time for some serious sleuthing and an answer to the question: Who is Misan Harriman really? post link: https://ift.tt/tiPjl6q author: Maleficent-Trifle940 submitted: October 01, 2023 at 02:03PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

you know, my brother built a digital copy of Hugh Jackman one time.

he worked for a summer for this company that had built a very cool looking giant orb of lights and cameras, and you could put a person inside and get pictures of them from all angles in all different lightings, and then turn those pictures into a digital image that could do whatever you wanted.

they scanned Hugh Jackman into this thing because he was working on Logan, which i haven't seen but i guess there's a clone of Wolverine or something like that? so they needed two Hugh Jackmans, which is you know something people have been trying to do in movies for decades with body doubles and trick photography and such, but they wanted to try a new way to do it. so they had Hugh Jackman play one Wolverine, and then they inserted his digital double to be the other Wolverine.

the thing is, hugh jackman KNEW exactly what that digital double was going to be used for. one movie, with a script he'd already signed on for.

as with most new technology, there's nothing wrong with the thing itself. you actually can use it responsibly and do interesting new things with it. you just gotta have a single fucking shred of ETHICS in your stupid producer brain, and that's obviously in real short supply.

also Hugh Jackman bought my brother a sandwich so that's neat

Nothing To Be Done on “Indie sleaze”

Skins. Alexa Chung. Side Swept Fringes?

Mid-late noughties indie seems to be slowly but surely re-entering it’s way into the consciousness of clued up teens dissatisfied with the current indie offerings and former hipsters who want to relive the days of American Apparel disco shorts and Nylon Magazine. Ground One of this resurgence can only be traced to the instagram account @indiesleaze documenting some of the most iconic looks and performances of the era for its cult-like following of fans.

In the past couple of years there is a lot of evidence to suggest that the halcyon days of 2000s indie will experience a revival. Perhaps the most obvious indication being the early 2000s coming back into fashion with major revival of the main y2k girlies Paris, Britney and Lindsay, Bella Hadid bringing back low rise jeans and Depop being flooded with (albeit overpriced) 2000s clothing. However this side of the 2000s has been reproduced over and over by fast fashion brands and influencers to the point where it’s no longer fresh and exciting anymore, which is where ‘Indie Sleaze’ comes in. The last two or so years have seen Ladytron, Crystal Castles and Le Tigre - all staples of the 2000s Indie Party scene - go viral on Tik Tok and Julia Fox’s eyeliner and recent supreme shoot with Harmony Korrine recall the digital photography and the overall slightly chaotic feel of the era.

The last few months have seen the rise of @TinyJewishGirl on tik tok, whose near-infamous style (although very different from 2000s indie) definitely is an indicator of individual style, experimentation and most of all FUN coming back into style. Euphoria newbie Chloe Cherry with her striking doll-like appearance, amazing style and colourful makeup is definitely a good sign for the future of fashion (see her instagram and coachella looks). Obviously, music is the most important thing when it comes to talking about indie and the most persuasive argument to suggest a more party orientated take on indie is on the horizon is the up-and-coming Wet Leg, the ‘skinny’ post punk inspired guitar is similar to that of the iconic Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the witty, funny, often absolutely filthy lyrics definitely are a welcomed change from the era of the ‘Sad Girl’ dominated Indie of the 2010s (I do love Lana and Mitski and so on but something more light hearted wouldn’t go amiss). Other recent releases by already established artists such as Yung Lean’s ‘Starpower’ and ‘Crest’ by Bladee and Ecco2k are clever, feel good and danceable with a distinct and youthful aesthetic that will hopefully set the tone for the rest of the decade.

Personally, as a clued up teen, I feel very welcoming towards this predicted shift in the current culture. I long for indie music that I can dance to and for alternative style to be less polished and pre-prescribed. I think that part of the reason for ‘indie sleaze’ seems to be resonating with young people again is a dissatisfaction with the very polished and perfect instagram feeds of the 2010s. Another major factor is the pandemic. Obviously Covid has prevented many teenagers of the parties and recklessness that is often associated with youth, and as restrictions start to loosen people just want to have great parties and have a good laugh without having to worry about perfect makeup or outfits.

NY / Ryan Patrick Krueger: Documents from the Closet

Courtesy of the Artist and Rivalry Projects, Buffalo, NY

Ryan Patrick Krueger: Documents from the Closet August 5 - September 10, 2023 Opening reception: August 5, 2023, 5-8pm

Tiger Strikes Asteroid New York is pleased to present Documents from the Closet, a solo installation of work by Ryan Patrick Krueger, curated by Samantha Box. This exhibition marks Krueger’s New York City debut, and is accompanied by a curatorial text written by Mary Lee Hodgens, artist and former Assistant Director of Light Work, Syracuse.

Documents from the Closet

Mary Lee Hodgens For their ongoing project, Documents from the Closet, artist Ryan Patrick Krueger works with a personal collection of LGBTQ+ archives, vernacular photographs, and ephemera to tell a story about grief, loss, and courage. The artist weaves together two narratives, an unflinching effort to understand personal losses and identity through an exploration that begins in the historical oppression of gay men.

In the gallery, Krueger props seven-foot-tall pine boxes precariously against the walls, balanced atop piles of dirt or sand. In size and shape, the boxes feel reminiscent of monuments, gravestones, or coffins. Each box contains a history lesson: formally elegant collages of monochromatic black-and-white shapes that Krueger punctuates with flourishes of pink, red, and the bright yellow of shipping envelopes. Collage is about finding new meaning in the juxtaposition of disparate elements. For Krueger, this process of isolating, truncating, or layering visual information allows for dialogue with the past while telling their own newer story.  

In 2011, Krueger began an eBay search using phrases such as “gay interest” and “vintage gay photograph” to hunt down photographs depicting what they describe as “tenderness, friendship, intimacy, and true love.” These photographs, including tintypes and photo booth portraits, show us men—now long gone—embracing or sometimes just mugging for the camera. Played out decades ago, these fleeting moments of connection and intimacy now feel furtive. Krueger allows us to see their process by including eBay receipts and the handwritten envelopes in which a network of other collectors of “gay interest” move and share these documents. We grieve these lives with the artist, who asks us to consider both the complexities of living a double life in pre-Stonewall America and our own human need for connection and community.

Krueger references many iconic gay artists, activists, and organizations here, including Act Up, David Deitcher, Essex Hemphill, Hal Fischer, Jonathan Ned Katz, Marlon Riggs, the Mattachine Society, and David Wojnarowicz. The artists also layers many symbols of the struggle over the documents, including a red tie, pink triangles, a locket containing the ashes of a childhood best friend, red boxing gloves, and clippings of classified ads from the pages of a defunct 1990’s LGBTQ+ newspaper.

What emerges is that Krueger’s embrace of LGBTQ+ American history allows them to stand on a timeline that faces forward. Although each box feels final and heavy with grief, there is also a sense of triumph. In acknowledging those who’ve gone before, Krueger transforms the boxes into protest banners. Furtiveness falls away, and in its place comes acceptance and yes, pride. As artist and AIDs activist David Wojnarowicz said, “To make the private into something public is an action that has terrific ramifications.”

Ryan Patrick Krueger holds a BFA in Photography from Pacific Northwest College of Art in Portland, Oregon, and was formerly Digital Services Coordinator for Light Work, a non-profit artist-run photography organization at Syracuse University. Krueger has curated exhibitions and held shows nationally including Documents from the Closet at the Everson Museum of Art (Syracuse, NY), On Longing at MONACO (St. Louis, MO), Response Response (with Linda Kliewer in Portland, OR), and Queer Moments: Selections from the Light Work Collection (Syracuse, NY). Most recently, Krueger exhibited work in the 2022 FotoFest Biennial, If I Had A Hammer, (Houston, TX), and appeared in Aperture, Art in America, and Sixty Inches From Center.  

Something I've really enjoyed about the last year is not needing to express myself.

Now, to be clear, I've created more stand-alone art pieces in the last ten months or so than I have in the past decade. I've worked with pencils, inks, markers, watercolours, digital painting, photography, all sorts – it's been amazing. But it's all been pretty much representational or educational – I've been drawing from life, recreating photos, making colour charts, things like that. There's been emotions in there, but I've not been trying to express my internal world beyond maybe 'I really like this plant, this show, these faces, this place', and it's been so … relaxing.

I love that art practice gives this opportunity, to just take a break from the Big Feelings. Working on comics always involved telling a story, and telling a story always involved saying something – having an opinion, making a statement, trying to express something about my world-view, even if it was very small. And I absolutely love doing that, but god it got exhausting sometimes. Trying to figure out what I wanted to say, whether I was saying it clearly, whether it was worth saying it at all, even whether it was actually downright wrong.

When I called this tumblr '4LS is taking a break' I think that's really what I've been taking a break from, though I didn't really understand that at the time. I just knew I was tired.

So this year, I've been able to make stuff like .... a painting of two onions and a potato. Maybe I'll look back in some years time and think 'I could do that so much better now' (actually, I kind of hope I will, because I'm actively trying to improve) - but I have full confidence that I will never look back at this and think 'What was I thinking saying that about onions?!' And people look at it, and they say 'That's a good painting of two onions and a potato', and I say 'Thank you', and that's … kind of the end of it. There are no opinions in there, and I've found it very restful.

I've been thinking about this now, mainly because I actually am trying to express myself again. And once again I'm up against thoughts of 'Is this right?' 'Should I be sharing this?' 'Is it saying what I want to say?'. The thing I'm making is very personal, and it's pretty ugly. In fact, it's ugly on purpose. I thought I was going to do a horror zine, and instead turning into a zine about my mental health. After ten months of trying really hard to make things that look good, I'm finally getting back into self-expression by vomiting up this ugly art baby that I'm not sure anyone else will like. And it's not relaxing like drawing onions … but I'm having fun, though. I'm remembering what I like about expressing my internal world on paper.

Free eBook Limited Time

I am pleased to announce this free eBook limited time only offer. My eBook version of Two Decades of Digital Photography can be read from my Amazon Author Page for free! This informative and entertaining read chronicles my digital photography journey from the earliest days of the digital revolution through the present time. Learn how digital technology has advanced over the decades, see my best…

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‘20/20’ INVESTIGATES THE MYSTERY OF A BODY FOUND IN A BARREL AT NEVADA’S LAKE MEAD 

As Environmental Crises Cause Las Vegas Reservoir To Recede, a Trail of Bodies From Decades Past Is Revealed 

One-Hour ‘20/20’ Features Exclusive Interviews With Niece of Alleged Mob Whistleblower and Former FBI Special Agent  

Program Airs Thursday, May 4 (10:01-11:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC, Next Day on Hulu  

*ABC News 

Since the 1930s, Lake Mead — a picturesque reservoir outside of Las Vegas — has been the site of over 300 drownings, making it one of the deadliest lakes in America. However, it wasn’t until recently that Lake Mead’s truly sinister history came to light. As environmental crises like drought, warming temperatures, and diminishing water supply have caused the reservoir to recede, people have discovered bodies in the lake. In a special edition of “20/20,” ABC News contributor Chris Connelly investigates the secrets of Lake Mead and details how authorities are using DNA evidence to crack cases that had long gone cold. 

The program features an exclusive interview with Patricia Haas, who details her tireless journey to solve the mysterious disappearance of her alleged mob-linked uncle at Lake Mead. “20/20” also has an exclusive interview with former FBI Special Agent Deborah Richard, who provides insight into the history of organized crime in Las Vegas. Additionally, the one-hour special has interviews with officers from the Las Vegas Metro Police, families of the victims of Lake Mead, Lake Mead experts and Las Vegas historians. “20/20” airs at 10:01 p.m. on Thursday, May 4, on ABC, next day on Hulu. 

ABC News’ “20/20” is an award-winning primetime program anchored by David Muir. A proven leader as a long-form newsmagazine for over 40 years, “20/20” features unforgettable, character-driven true-crime mysteries, exclusive newsmaker interviews, hard-hitting investigative reports and in-depth coverage of high-profile stories. Janice Johnston is the executive producer. The two-hour “20/20” events air Fridays from 9:01-11:00 p.m. EDT on ABC and are available to stream on ABC News digital platforms and Hulu. 

*COPYRIGHT ©2023 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. All photography is copyrighted material and is for editorial use only. Images are not to be archived, altered, duplicated, resold, retransmitted or used for any other purposes without written permission of ABC. Images are distributed to the press to publicize current programming. Any other usage must be licensed.  

ABC News Media Relations 

For more information, follow ABC News PR on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

-- ABC -- 

Time to talk about my headcanons for Henry and Eileen because I like to think about them

I never want to be like “my HCs are canon, TAKE THAT” because honestly most of my headcanons are boring and soft. A lot of these went through my mind when I was writing an embarrassing fanfiction (I am embarrassed by all of my writing).

Henwy:

Boy howdy, does he have problems disorder!

More accurately, the fun cocktail of depression and anxiety. 

Alsooo probably on the spectrum, but never officially diagnosed.

Bear with me, I’ve thought about this guy’s childhood way too much

SO LIKE... I imagine he was a child out of wedlock. Mistress and comfortably wealthy businessman situation. He grew up with his mother until he was seven or so, when she suddenly passed.

(also I imagine he’s Mexican on his mother’s side... some of his voice lines seem to have a bit of a lilt to them so I imagine he grew up bilingual... hasn’t spoken any Spanish in like two decades though)

He moved in with his father after Tragic Mom Death™, who wasn’t into the idea of parenting and threw money at the problem. Getting nannies to raise him, sending him off to boarding schools, etc.

Also, they moved around a lot

Which kinda just caused... a lifelong issue of having trouble connecting with people. :’) Lonely kid.

It is where his love of photography came from, though! Traveling introduced him to a lot of beautiful scenery, and photography was a great way to keep memories.

He is not in contact with his father anymore.

He majored in photography (not at an art specific college though, he probably would have been happier there) but kinda regrets it. It was nice having access to legit photography equipment, but he feels that his degree is useless and he kind of hates commercialized photography, so any job he could get in the field would be selling out hard for him to enjoy.

Instead, his employment is... clerical work. A boring 9 to 5 job where he digitizes documents or something. I don’t think he minds, though--he has enough patience for doing boring repetitive work, as long as his coworkers don’t try to get chummy with him.

I hc him as asexual because same hat, but I don’t think he’s sex-repulsed! He just... doesn’t really get the appeal and gets way more out of cuddling.

He’ll watch just about anything, though mostly for background noise rather than enjoyment.

Eiween:

My HCs for her are a lot more boring just because I think her life was a lot more... average. compared to Henry’s. :| At least before (gestures at sh4) happened.

I don’t think she’s ever lived outside of Ashfield, and she moved to South Ashfield Heights when her parents decided to move away from the city (since she’s been there for like... at least three years apparently?)

The city has a rich history, and she’s a history nut!!! She’s working on getting her master’s degree in museum studies and her end goal is museum curator.

She works as an educator at the local history museum, but not full time because school.

...But since she’s lived in a city with a functioning public transit system for her entire life, she never learned to drive.

Middle child. :’)

I will stop drawing her with thick thighs and a bit of tummy the day I DIE

Has a lot of friend groups, but it doesn’t take her a lot to consider someone a friend. She probably considered Henry a friend even if they hadn’t really spoken much, just because she liked talking to him and he never seemed annoyed by her.

Definitely pan or bi... she’d probably refer to herself as bi just because she likes the flag’s colors more, lol

Short!!!

I am always conflicted as to whether she should only have the numerical scars post-otherworld or also the broken arm and eye injuries, since it seems like the numbers are the only things that carry through into the real world. At the same time... I like eye patch. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The both of them >:)

I don’t think they’d ever officially ask each other out, as much as it’d just... happen.

Henry just worries that he’s hanging around her too much and that she’s probably weirded out by him and being polite by letting him stick around.

He’s bad at connecting with people! It doesn’t make sense for her to like him... she’s probably just stuck with him due to the mutual trauma.

And yeah, that’s definitely part of it. They share a unique trauma, and existing safely in each other’s presence is a way to confront it.

...but also? She thought her neighbor was cute already, and that was before he rescued her from an otherworldly death. She likes to spend time with him. :)

He’s. Not. Used to people wanting to spend time with him..... help....

Her friends and family don’t get what she sees in him and it makes him uncomfortable, heeeelp....

But she’ll shut them up!!! He’s kind and she feels safe with him and she could listen to him talk about camera technology for hours.

...And she does, because his voice is comforting,

Eileen’s the big spoon, partially because, even if it’s Henry, she’s still pretty uncomfortable with her back being touched. But also because she’s a hugger.

The ideal endgame for them would be for Eileen to make enough money for them both to live comfortably so Henry can be her photographer househusband who maybe gets his photos published sometimes but never has to make a living taking pictures of food for advertisements or whatever.

(But he’s still driving her everywhere.)

and BONUS: I don’t do gender hcs because I’m a boring old cisgirl and don’t think it’s my place to speculate, but I do like the idea of transman Henry because I can imagine Eileen seeing his top surgery scars and being like !!! what the fuck did Walter do to you to cause those and he just... stares into the camera like he’s in the office...

aaaand that’s all my silly brain can think of for now! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’ve been seeing a lot of friends posting that one image that says something like “Don’t start making your resolutions for next year without acknowledging the things you’ve accomplished this year first.” That makes sense to me. Can’t know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been.

2022

At the start of the year, I got pushed out of the job I’d been doing for over a decade. I’d become very comfortable there, despite the abuse. They took away my hours then offered me longer hours at a worse site for less pay. I took it because we didn’t have the savings to make it through if I didn’t, but it spurred me on to new heights of job searching. I eventually took a gamble on a temp position in a totally new to me industry. It was a big increase in pay, assuming I could impress them enough to stay past the initial contract. I was nervous, but I put in the effort. I excelled. My boss and his boss and her boss all fought hard to convince the budget people and in November I got converted to permanent. I was about to say “I’m still at the bottom rung” but that’s not even really true outside of my department. The point is, it’s the first job I’ve had where I could genuinely call it a career. I like the work, I like my coworkers, and I’ve had positive interactions with every layer of management including the CEO.

In May, I drew an orangutan with a sword for one of my internet friends. I hadn’t tried to draw anything more complicated than a stick figure since grade school, but I put in the time and pulled up reference and came out with something that was at least recognizable. I was a little nervous showing it to my friend, because she’s a professional artist, but she was super supportive. The next day I bought my first sketchbook. My wife encouraged me to draw every day if I wanted to get better at it, so I did. There wound up being some gaps, for practical reasons, and now that it’s a habit I take the occasional day off. And you know what? It worked. I’ve filled two sketchbooks, plus half of a travel sketchbook, plus some digital pieces. The drawings I’m producing now aren’t professional quality or anything, but if you put them side by side with the earlier stuff it’s easy to see that practice works.

In August I had my dick cut off. That involved quite a few days of missing out on drawing practice. It had been in the works for over a year by that point. I’m not rolling in cash, so I had to chart a course that would appease our health insurance. Luckily, I live in a place with pretty strict laws about how insurers have to behave with regards to gender affirming care. Also luckily I had started my new job that I could do while lying in bed as long as I had my work laptop and wasn’t taking opiates. I couldn’t do the kind of walking or even sitting upright that my old security job needed for over 2 months, but my mind worked just fine. 

I also made new friends this year. I won’t call you all out, but I think I know who you are.

I made a new personal website as a hub for my online presence because individual social media platforms are so unstable.

I read over my resolutions from last year. None of them had anything to do with any of this stuff. They were: Stay Invested in my new ttrpg campaign; make a new card game or remake one of my existing ones; remember to promote the games I have for sale more often; continue working on my self-photography skills; and treat myself gently. Of those, I only did the photography one. So, let’s bear that in mind as I lay out some goals for next year.

2023

Make a new card game or remake one of the ones I’ve pulled from circulation. Now that I’m doing my own art stuff, it should be easier than ever to make a game. I just have to do it.

Draw more. Keep improving. Specifically, draw more naked ladies than I did in 2022. In 2022 I made 29 drawings of 6 naked ladies (7 if you count the clothed model that I turned into a building sized naked monster), so I’ll need to arrange at least 30 drawings and 8 models. I’ve got 3 already lined up. Got to find at least 5 volunteers to help provide reference. (My DMs are open.)

Sing more. Consider learning an instrument. Not a mouth instrument, one I can do while singing.

This time for real, treat myself gently.

A New World Built of Sand There are few coastlines on Earth quite like the one along Dubai. Two decades ago, there was not much of note along the city’s coast, aside from the shallow waters of the Persian Gulf. Today that coastline is the site of some of the largest and most recognizable land reclamation projects in the world. A pair of palm-shaped islands surrounded by circular storm barriers (Palm Jumeirah and Palm Jebel Ali) and an archipelago designed to look like a map of Earth’s continents stand out in this photograph, which was taken by an astronaut on the International Space Station on April 6, 2022. To construct these unusual coastal landforms, workers dredged sand and silt from the seafloor, sprayed it into the desired shape with GPS technology and ships, and used a piece of construction equipment called a vibroflot to mix in stone and solidify the new islands. When developers first devised plans for building out Dubai’s coastline in the 1990s, they dreamed big. The Earth-shaped archipelago, called The World Islands, included 300 small sandy islands that were to be sold to luxury developers and filled with hotels and mansions. Rather than having just two palm islands, the original plans called for a third (Palm Deira) that would have been even larger. There were also plans for another expansive archipelago called The Universe that would include islands designed to look like parts of our solar system and the Milky Way. However, the global recession of 2007 and 2008 delayed and tempered some of that ambition. As financial markets reeled, plans to move forward with The Universe were put on hold. Ambitions were also scaled back considerably for Palm Deira, which is now called the Deira Islands. Palm Jebel Ali remains mostly undeveloped. Though built, only a handful of the 300 islands in The World have seen development. One of the exceptions is a new resort on Clarence Island, in the South America portion of the archipelago. Another project spread across six islands in the European portion is also close to opening. As developers work to fund and finish projects, scientists are using satellites to monitor a range of environmental impacts and changes associated with the new landscape. For instance, one international group of researchers noted in a February 2022 paper that there have been significant changes in water quality around Palm Jumeirah. They reported gradual increases in suspended sediment and chlorophyll since 2001, as well as a 7.5 degree Celsius (13.5 degree Fahrenheit) increase in average water temperatures. They did see some temporary improvement in water quality in 2020, when tourism to the island plummeted due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Their findings are based on data collected by Landsat 7 and Landsat 8. Astronaut photograph ISS067-E-3785 was acquired on April 6, 2022, with a Nikon D4 digital camera using an 380 millimeter lens and is provided by the ISS Crew Earth Observations Facility and the Earth Science and Remote Sensing Unit, Johnson Space Center. The image was taken by a member of the Expedition 67 crew. The image has been cropped and enhanced to improve contrast, and lens artifacts have been removed. The International Space Station Program supports the laboratory as part of the ISS National Lab to help astronauts take pictures of Earth that will be of the greatest value to scientists and the public, and to make those images freely available on the Internet. Additional images taken by astronauts and cosmonauts can be viewed at the NASA/JSC Gateway to Astronaut Photography of Earth. Caption by Adam Voiland.

Research

1/5/24 - 27/4/25, Leake Street Galleries

MARC CRAIG - This Dawning Muscle, 2024 (400 x 400 cm (h x w) Digital

Artist Marc Craig is a London-based artist, originally from Winchester, UK, who exhibited his stunning body of work through the Leake Street Galleries and online through the KUNSTMATRIX website. His work surrounded his life and how living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) impacted his creative process. Craig described the exhibition as chronicling his experience with BPD. BPD is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to manage their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others (https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder#:~:text=Borderline%20personality%20disorder%20is%20a,impact%20their%20relationships%20with%20others.)

Craig is a multi-disciplinary artist, having originally trained in textile design and ceramics at art school, his creative passions also include photography, painting, and sculpture. For the past decade, his focus has shifted primarily to large-scale murals, particularly in Leake Street underneath Waterloo Station, where he currently serves as the Artist in Residence.

His artist website states that "Marc is deeply committed to mental health and well-being, and much of his art reflects his personal mental health journey. He is also passionate about creative advocacy, enjoying discussions and collaborations with other creatives. He has a keen interest in understanding and exploring the creative process." and this passion can be seen in the online exhibition.

Composed of 31 individual pieces, his online exhibition is breathtaking, somehow capturing the magnitude of the emotions felt behind every piece. The ability to give a sense of scale to something virtual is an incredible skill. His digital prints are so intensely detailed that being able to click on them and see them in such high quality alongside a description adds a layer of connection to the work and the artist.

"It's about starting conversations, breaking down barriers, and perhaps even finding connection with others on a similar journey. So, let's keep talking about mental health, sharing our stories, and using art to create from the heart." Craigs' own words on this particular exhibition.

After years of struggling Craig decided it was time to seek help from professionals about his mental health. Undergoing numerous mental health assessments, the psychiatrist in charge of his care diagnosed him with Bipolar Disorder. This came as a relief to have a name for what he had, a label, a title, that seemed initially to make sense. Like many people, Craig just desperately longed for something to explain everything that he was experiencing.

Medication provided some relief, however, the erratic emotions continued and he began to doubt the original diagnosis. A long wait for a second opinion on an NHS waiting list eventually led to the discovery that Craig had been misdiagnosed and was not suffering from Bipolar Disorder but instead had BPD. The two conditions are often mistaken for each other due to their sharing similar symptoms but a key difference from years of study is that Bipolar Disorder manifests with long fluctuations in mood whilst BPD deals with rapid fluctuations of emotion. Getting the right diagnosis takes time and BPD, it seems, is notoriously complex and easy to misdiagnose.

In the UK mental health discussions are never easy. There's often a cloud of anxiety, shame, and confusion surrounding the topic. These common traits can be seen in the backgrounds of the works on display, an air of densely packed areas seems to surround most of the prominent forms in each piece. It is almost like the stigma can be seen coming from the body, that air of shame and anxiety becoming a barrier between the figures and everything they interact with, which is similar to how people dealing with mental health conditions describe their experiences of the world.

As an artist, Craig has chosen to express his experiences through a year-long project - this is his visual diary based on haiku poetry reflecting how he felt every day. Haikus offer a simple yet powerful way to capture emotions without the pressure of perfectionism and through the help of AI art, which he has started to incorporate into his practice, these haikus come to life in dynamic images which he then uses as foundation for his own art pieces. This unusual method has set Craig apart from others in the art world, these large and immensely complex pieces are the epitome of the plethora of difficulties that he has had to overcome, and this exhibition shows that mental health cannot and should not be kept hidden. This was a thoroughly interesting virtual exhibition experience.

The Intersection of Fashion and Art: A Magazine's Perspective on Aesthetic Innovation

In the bustling world of creativity, where art and fashion dance in endless symbiosis, fashion magazines are more than mere spectators; they are curators and catalysts of change. A crucial intersection exists between these two realms, often explored through the glossy pages of specialized magazines that meld visual artistry with textile innovation. This article explores how fashion magazines serve not only as a platform for displaying current trends but also as a space where art and fashion continuously influence each other, pushing boundaries and setting new paradigms.

Fashion magazines have long been the heralds of style, dictating and reflecting the zeitgeist with their vivid pages. But beyond their role as trendsetters, these publications act as a bridge between the ephemeral world of fashion and the enduring nature of art. Each page is a canvas where designers and artists collaborate to create something transcendent, something that resonates with the deeper expressions of culture and identity.

Historically, the relationship between fashion and art has been one of mutual inspiration. The early 20th century saw figures like Coco Chanel and Elsa Schiaparelli draw from contemporary art movements, embedding the aesthetics of Surrealism and Cubism into their designs. This trend was documented and celebrated through magazines, which showcased these fusions not just as clothing but as art pieces, emphasizing their cultural significance. Such editorial choices encouraged readers to perceive fashion within an artistic context, elevating garments to the status of museum-worthy artworks.

As the decades progressed, fashion magazines began to feature more explicit collaborations between fashion designers and visual artists. Iconic instances include Yves Saint Laurent's Mondrian collection in 1965, which was directly inspired by the De Stijl art movement and prominently featured in Vogue. These magazines didn't just report on these phenomena; they played an active role in framing fashion items as extensions of artistic expression, influencing how people understood and consumed fashion.

In contemporary times, the integration of art and fashion has become even more pronounced, with digital technology paving new paths for creativity. Fashion art magazines today are quick to feature digital fashion shows, where garments that defy traditional manufacturing are brought to life on virtual runways. These publications also explore how technologies like augmented reality are being used to create interactive fashion experiences that blend physical and digital art forms. For example, a magazine might cover a high-profile collaboration between a fashion designer and a digital artist, where AR wearables transform traditional apparel into a dynamic form of personal expression.

The role of photography in fashion magazines further illustrates this blend. Fashion photography, a genre in itself, is a direct product of the confluence between artistic photography and fashion storytelling. Through their lenses, photographers like Mario Testino and Annie Leibovitz have turned fashion shoots into narrative scenes that convey mood, story, and artistry, contributing to the cultural dialogue around fashion and its artistic value.

Moreover, the thematic content of fashion magazines often reflects broader artistic trends. Editions focusing on neo-expressionism, minimalism, or post-modernism in fashion not only showcase designs influenced by these movements but also discuss them in critical essays and interviews. This educates readers, elevates the discourse around fashion collections, and cements the magazine’s role as a critical intermediary between fashion consumers and the high arts.

As we move forward, the intersection of fashion and art continues to evolve and expand. Fashion magazines are at the forefront of this evolution, documenting, influencing, and often driving the interplay between these two forms of human expression. By continuously engaging with and presenting fashion as a form of art, these publications not only celebrate but also perpetuate the fusion of creativity and culture. Thus, fashion art magazines do not just cover the trends—they are an integral part of the cultural machinery that moves fashion and art forward together.

UFO... Contact from the Pleiades

"In the deepest sense the search for extraterrestrial intelligence is a search for ourselves." - Carl Sagan, an American astronomer and planetary scientist

Welcome, cosmic explorers, to this week’s edition of "Space Spotlight," with host Saanvi Phaneendra!  UFO sightings have been a source of fascination and mystery for decades, sparking the imaginations of enthusiasts and skeptics alike. Reports of unidentified flying objects range from mysterious lights zigzagging in the night sky to detailed encounters with spacecraft of seemingly extraterrestrial origin. These accounts come from all corners of the globe and from credible witnesses, including pilots, astronauts, and military personnel, who describe experiences that challenge our understanding of technology and physics. The persistent question remains: Are we truly alone in the universe, or is there evidence of contact with extraterrestrial intelligence?

Saanvi interviews documentary filmmaker and investigative author, Brit Elders about her two photo journal volumes of UFO…Contact from the Pleiades. This photo journal presents the unique contact case of a Swiss farmer, Billy Meier, who claims to have met with the Pleiadians hundreds of times, compiling many layers of evidence including notes on their conversations, hundreds of photographs, movie footage, audio recordings of the craft, landing tracks of the spaceships, dozens of witnesses, and even metal samples of the craft itself. UFO…Contact from the Pleiades takes the reader back to a time before home computers, digital photography and easily accessible photo enhancement programs. Yet the evidence—analyzed in laboratories around the world—could not be easily dismissed and supported the claims of the contacted, Billy Meier. The breath-taking images, profound words of the Pleiadians, and the extensive investigation that spanned seven years are as relevant today as they were forty-five years ago.

Join Saanvi and Brit on this mysterious journey through the cosmos filled with wonders that surpass our wildest imaginations, including UFOs and other galactic civilizations.

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Bio: Brit Elders

Brit Elders is an investigative author and documentary filmmaker who traveled the world exploring a variety of topics including the mysterious world of UFOs. She has participated in several in-depth investigations, including the Billy Meier case and the waves of UFO sightings in Mexico, which began in 1991 and continue today. The CEO of ShirleyMacLaine.com, Brit continues to research and write for herself and others. www.Britelders.com

Facebook:   https://www.facebook.com/BritEldersAuthor

Linkedin:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/brit-elders-1868042b/

Listen at Voice America Network, Empowerment Channel: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/149696/ufo-contact-from-the-pleiades

RECENTLY PUBLISHED BOOK: Family Forever: https://cynthiabrian.substack.com/p/family-forever Available at www.CynthiaBrian.com/online-store or  www.StarStyleStore.net

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Hermann Lederle

Critically admired german artist Hermann Lederle is most prominent for his PIXEL and BLOTS painting and more recent ADAPTATION series. His works have shown in numerous exhibitions around the world, and his artistic production is particularly unique and recognizable. Although initially the impression is abstract, Lederle's works feature geometric elements that compose, as a whole, figurative elements, bringing to mind that of the abstract expressionists.

Los Angeles artist Hermann Lederle is known for his innovative BEAUTIFUL CHAOS abstract canvas scapes and unique BREAKAWAY layered PIXEL painting. Blurring the boundaries between paint-scape and landscape reality, and between the paint and its intended object, the work combines geometric abstraction and pure color concept to explore a new ethereal thematic. Through a PILLING of dotted lines and multitude of hyper-glow colors - as if the artist intends to assault the surface with micro-nuclear forces, Lederle constructs a next generation art-scape.

Upon graduating from Karl Friedrich School Mannheim for humanist and classic studies in Germany, Lederle re-directed his career path. His early apprenticeship training in photography inspired him to seek a formal continued education in the Fine Arts, namely filmmaking and painting at the San Francisco Art Institute. San Francisco became his new residency for the next years until graduating with a BFA, followed by five years establishing himself as a painter in the thriving arts district of Tribeca in downtown New York City. It was there, Lederle began to formulate his own visual language to express his concepts and ideas through the lens, on canvas and on the film screen. Exemplifying the artist’s interest in the interaction between art and film and creating an additional link to 21st century web based digital art, Lederle's painting strives to wipe clean the slate of conventional notions of image construction.

Lederle's PIXEL series, first shown at Media Rare Gallery in Hollywood  suggests a kind of Cubism for the digital age. His work as a filmmaker cross-pollinates in subtle, oblique ways. The idea of pixel paintings originated when working with digital images. “It was a discovery. We may have been seeing this way unconsciously since human beings had eyes, but now that we know we can zoom in on something, and then zoom out and see the whole picture, it becomes an awareness we can use to appreciate the pixilated version. Kind of like a primal, pre-conscious experience that relates to the era of technology."

Lederle's FOOTPRINTS ON SNOW series entails a two stage process, where a graduated color is applied with a tractional brush allowing for the distinct qualities of its stroke to emerge. The second stage is executed with a painter's knife often with ostensibly contradictory linear shapes and lines, imbuing it with the properties of rival perceptions, irreversible  like footprints, taking place within the canvases.

More recently, in his so-called ADAPTATION series, those vertical bands consist of the vivid and expressionistic decades-old paintings that Lederle has painstakingly hand-cut and then collaged onto the canvas, leaving just enough space for original marks to show through as interstices of the canvas. Punctuated with a stop and go rhythm, the work reigns in the artist’s prior unbidden flourishes and lays bare the source of artistic inspiration, simultaneously suggesting themes of evolution as they relate to Lederle's own practice and reflections on art history.

His latest works in submission on the occasion of IN SPRING Exhibition 2024, recall the BLOTS-pointillism of the neoimpressionists. When purposely set against a SCHIENA SCURA - dark FOAM bubbles, the painting is calling out a messy, un-ordered free floating imagery of some scenery not quite in focus and frozen in a still frame, although its kinetic forces relentlessly pushing up against its limits. The experimental composition of primal shapes and lines striving for a creative expression of artificial, nearly molecular spaces in another dimension and direction. These images take time to absorb, asking you to invest and trust, not speed through in a frenzy. A new-dimensional structure slowly emerges transcending past traditional geometrics.

Hermann Lederle's work has been exhibited in the United States in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Canada, Germany, Italy, France and Hungary. A body of his work is in consignment at galleries, including DSV Kunstkontor Stuttgart, HPH Siebdruck Echterdingen Germany, Media Rare Gallery Los Angeles, Court Gallery New York, Lawson Galleries San Francisco, Friedman Guinness Gallery Heidelberg, and in private collections of Ringo Starr, Eric Stolz, Cal Zecca, Gabor Csupo.

Lederle lives and works in Los Angeles, California. Previous notable exhibitions took place at M.A.D.S. Art Gallery ANDRENOCHROMO FOR DINNER Milan Italy 2022, ART KARLSRUHE HPH Special Serigraph Exhibition Germany 2020, Silverman Studio Hollywood 2017, Vertiva Stuttgart Germany 2015, Arthea Galerie Mannheim Germany 2015, Frank Pictures Gallery Santa Monica 2012, Solaris Gallery Los Angeles 2005, FP Gallery Los Angeles 2005, Media Rare Gallery Hollywood 2001, Lawson Galleries San Francisco 1987 and Court Gallery New York City 1986.