Todays page is a fucking delight and I need it known that the first pic is going to become a go to reaction image for me and the second just makes me so fucking happy, get dunked on Tweedle you stupid tool!

Sugar, Sugar (Five)

Drum roll please...  we actually mention a brief bit of real plot this chapter. See that? The story won’t just be plotless stuckony shenanigans. There’s Real Things that might eventually happen.

MASTERLIST HERE

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“Tony?” Pepper used her keys to open the door to Sweet Peach Bakery and then locked it behind her. No one was on the street at six am, but she wasn’t about to take any chances. “Hey Tony? Where are you?” 

“Office!” came the muffled answer, and with a quick stop to grab a still warm croissant off a tray, Pepper hurried her way towards the back of the shop. 

“What are you doing here so early?” She asked, and then, “And oh my god this croissant is so good, when did you start making these?” 

“Didn’t make them.” Tony’s hair was reaching excessive heights of fluffiness this morning and Pepper had to push the mess down just so she could smoosh a kiss to his forehead. “Had a distributor come by with samples. Croissants that just need to be proofed, pre filled turnovers, all that sort of thing. On one hand, I will never have enough time to make croissants from scratch so this is a good alternative. On the other hand, I actually cried putting pre made, frozen bread into the over this morning to bake.” 

“Well, these are delicious, and I think you’re being dramatic and ridiculous.” Pepper perched on the edge of Tony’s desk, poking curiously at a frosting bag full of something chocolate. “What’s this?” 

“Guinness and cocoa.” Tony kept scribbling at purchase forms. “The flavor is supposed to get better the longer it sits so I’ve got a timer and I’m tasting once an hour to see if I notice an improvement.” 

“Mm-hmm” Pepper raised her eyebrows curiously. “Sounds... delicious and like something I’ll be eating immediately. Oh hey, tell me about your date with Steve and Bucky last night.” 

“It wasn’t a date.” Tony said absentmindedly. “And uh, it went an awful lot like this.” 

The frosting bag splgrhrhrd-ed  when he pushed at it, a blurt of frosting falling thick and creamy all over the desk. 

“Tony!” Pepper screeched and Tony retorted, “Hey! You asked how it went, that’s how it went! That sorta noise and everything!” 

“TONY!” 

“You knew who I was when you decided to love me.” 

 “Oh for fucks sake--” Pepper swiped a finger through the frosting and sucked it into her mouth. “I’m mad that I’m eating this after you said that, but this is honestly amazing.” 

“Good and guinnessy?” 

“Enough that I feel like I could get drunk if you hadn’t cooked the alcohol out of it.” 

“Well here, I can solve that for.” Tony felt around under his desk and puled a can of beer out, cracked the top and pushed it his favorite Bridezilla. “Drink up.” 

“It’s six o clock in the morning, Tony.” Pepper protested, but when he only looked at her, she sighed and took a sip. “You encourage me to do terrible things. Between the beer and the croissants and the cupcakes, I’ll never fit into my wedding dress.” 

Tony finally pushed the forms aside and tasted the frosting himself. “My god, this is good. I’m a genius. And don’t worry about your dress. You got a corset back gown for exactly this occasion. Ten pounds cos I won’t stop feeding you isn’t going to ruin anything. You are the most radiant bride at any wedding, in any city, at any size.” 

“I love you very much.” Pepper stuffed the last bite of croissant into her mouth and gave him another kiss. “Which brings me to the actual point of my visit.” 

“Is this about Rhodey’s bachelor party?” 

“It’s about Rhodey’s bachelor party.” she confirmed. “He gave me a list of all the unacceptable activities you’ve threatened him with in the last three months, he also gave me a list of all unacceptable locations for his party, as well as a list of colors he doesn’t want to see...” 

The pretty redhead pulled out several pieces of paper from her purse and shuffled through them. “Oh, here’s the color one. It um-- it only has one word on it.” 

“Is the word neon?” Tony grinned. “ With a circle around and multiple lines through it?”

“Yes it is.” 

“Excellent.” 

“Tell me more about your non date.” Pepper put the lists away and went back to eating frosting. “Which one of them railed you and where did it happen. And don’t ruin my frosting by splooging it again, alright? Just once was bad enough.” 

“I didn’t actually get railed.” Tony frowned a little. “Dunno if my apron game was off or my leggings weren’t quite thotty enough--” Pepper snorted. “-- or what. But Steve got down on his knees and quite literally sucked my brain out through the hole in my--” 

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!” 

“--in my frosting bag while Bucky got up behind me and tried to fuck me through my pants. And I definitely thought they’d strip me naked and help me ruin my new couches, but after I finished they just sorta...” Tony shrugged. “Kissed me? Kissed each other? Told me they’d see me tonight and then left.” 

“Wait wait wait.” Pepper held up her hand to stop his rambling. “So these two amazingly hot men--” 

“--like stupidly hot, yeah.” 

“-- are into you. The blond gets down on his knees to give you a blow job while the brunette tries to get you pregnant over your pants--” 

“-- i love you for phrasing it like that.” 

“-- and then when you’re ready to reciprocate, they leave?” 

“Yeah.” he frowned a little. “Yeah, I don’t get it. I mean, I showed them my new couches and everything. I wore low rise leggings and my frilliest apron and made that weird noise I make when I finish way more intense than I expected to? All signs pointed to ‘stay here and let me ride you’ and they left.” 

“I feel like showing people couches and making weird noises aren’t really valid forms of communication.” she pointed out, and Tony retorted, “I’ve seen you cross your legs in a specific way and Rhodey practically strips right then and there. Don’t talk to me about valid forms of communication.”

“I’m just saying--!” Pepper raised her voice when Tony started laughing. “I’m just saying, maybe instead of provocatively mentioning furniture and using aprons for flirting, you use your words like a damn adult and tell those boys what you want from them!” 

“But I don’t want anything from them.” He maintained. “Except to quite literally ride Bucky’s face and see what that mouth do, and also to bent over and broke in half by Steve’s dick. I didn’t even get to see it last night but his old man khaki’s don’t leave a whole lot to the imagination so... yep. I think we’re fine.” 

“All that lovely imagery aside.” Tony laughed again when Pepper rubbed at her temples like she had a headache already. “You’ve spent the better part of a month seeing them every single night, the better part of a month talking to me and James about them... would it be the worst to admit that maybe you do want something from them?” 

Tony clenched his jaw, and just that quickly every bit of easy going was stripped from their morning together.

“I’m not trying to make you mad, honey.” Pepper softened her voice and reached for Tony’s hand. “But I know you so so well and I know you fall in love really quickly and I also know-- no no no, Tony wait!” 

Tony pushed away from the desk and headed back into the bakery and Pepper scrambled after him. “Tony! Just wait a second!” 

“You are not allowed to talk to me about how quickly I fall in love.” Tony grabbed the tray of pre made croissants and tossed them in the trash, throwing the pan down with a clang. “You are not allowed to tell me I want more than-- than sex from Steve and Bucky. Cos I don’t. And even if I did--” 

“Oh Tony--” 

“-- even if I did!” he yelled. “You aren’t allowed to say it because you promised-- after Italy, you promised--” 

“Okay stop.” Pepper grabbed his hands before Tony went for a knife to start chopping up fruit. “Tony stop. I’m sorry I said anything, alright? You’re right, I shouldn’t say that and after Italy I promised I wouldn't say anything.” 

“But?” Tony challenged. “But? Because I know there’s one. What else are you going to say?” 

“...that maybe the fact that you’re so mad right now means I’m probably right?” Pepper finished in a whisper. “But I am sorry for saying anything. Sorry. Don’t be mad at me, you know I love you.” 

“... I love you too.” Tony finally relaxed and Pepper leaned in to kiss him gently. “And I’m sorry for getting so mad. I just-- still a little sore, yeah? Still a little sore.” 

“I know you are.” She held him close for a long minute. “I won’t tell Rhodey, alright? This whole thing is just between me and you.” 

“Thanks.” Tony paused. “I’m doing neon for Rhodey’s bachelor party though. I already ordered three hundred glow sticks, several gallons of shockingly colored body paint and the ugliest fedora’s ever and I’m not returning them.” 

“Yep, that’s fair.” 

“...all I want from Steve and Bucky is sex.” he said again, softer this time. “It’s sort of gross how much they love each other and I’d never try to get in the way of that. They are so sweet together and I can’t figure out why the hell they’d need to spice up their sex life by adding me but I’m definitely not complaining. The last month has been super fun and honestly after the year I’ve had, fun is all I can handle right now.” 

“Okay sweetheart.” Pepper plucked one of the croissants off the top of the pile and took a big bite. “I love you, okay? I’ll call you tonight if you aren’t busy emptying your frosting bag onto Steve’s face.” 

“Oh no, it’s Bucky’s turn for that mess.” 

Pepper laughed herself right out of the bakery and half way down the street before the giggles finally subsided, and the moment they did, she picked up her phone to call her fiancee.

“Hey baby.” 

“It’s been an entire year and it honestly doesn’t occur to Tony that Steve and Bucky are hanging around for any other reason than to spice up their sex life.” 

“It’s six thirty in the morning, Pep. Why are we talking about Tony’s sex life?”

“Well I--” 

“No actually, that’s not that weird. What’s weird is that you’re talking about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass at six thirty in the morning. You know my rule. We can talk about Tony but we cannot talk about whatever idiot Tony is banging.” 

“Idiots, in this case my love.”  Pepper corrected. “And I don’t actually care about them. What I do care about is that Tony is still so damaged that it doesn’t occur to him that he’s good for anything other than something fun for a couple.” 

“Well, he tells them he only wants something fun.”

“And you’ve known Tony way too long to think that’s true in any way, shape, or form. Tony falls in love with the people who bring him coffee cos they smile at him. There’s no way he doesn’t desperately want to be in a relationship again.” 

“Pep.” Rhodey groaned on the other line. “You weren’t here when Tony first came home from Italy. You know Isabella fucked him up, but you have no idea how deep it goes, alright? If he says he just wants fun with the Tweedles, let him lie to himself and to us and to whoever else he wants to cos Tony needs to at least pretend he’s okay, alright?” 

“But--” 

“Did you tell him no neon at my bachelor party?” 

Pepper pursed her lips. “Yes. Yes I told him, and yes he promised to listen.” 

“It’s something involving terrible fedoras, isn’t it?” 

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Man, I hate fedoras.”

****************

****************

“Heya baby-cakes.” Bucky had a super soft smile for his very sleepy boyfriend when Steve finally made it out of bed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I have the worst case of blue balls in the world.” Steve stretched and yawned and Bucky watched with no small amount of interest as all that skin lit up in the morning sun. “How is it that Tony got a blow job last night and you got a blow job last night but I did not get a blow job last night?” 

“Hmmm.” Bucky waggled his eyebrows and took a big bite of his breakfast. “Seems’ta me if you would’a came in your pants like history has shown ya do, your balls wouldn’t hurt.” 

“Seema’ta me you should quit mouth fucking that peach and join me in the shower so I don’t have to jerk off alone like a damn teenager.” Steve retorted. “M’standing here naked Buck. I’m dating you for a reason and it’s not cos you’re brilliant. Get the hell in there.” 

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Bucky finished slurping at the fruit and tossed the pit away. “You want a blow job or for me to fuck you stupid?” 

“Would it kill you to be a little bit romantic?” 

“You wanna be romantic or do you want me to get you off? You can’t have it both ways, Stevie. That ain’t the way th’world works.” 

“Seriously, why do I love you?” Steve yanked Bucky’s pajama pants down and pulled him into the water. “And not on the same page at all, I was sorta surprised you let me have Tony last night. Figured you’d be all over that.” 

“Wanted to watch you and Tony together.” Bucky grunted when Steve pushed the soap into his hands and then all but humped at his thigh impatiently. “Sure was gorgeous. You were sorta suffocating when he finished, but you should’a heard the noises Tony made. Fuckin’ beautiful. And you got all flushed and pretty and greedy with it? Love that, baby. So hot.” 

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Steve threw his head back and gasped when Bucky closed a slick palm around him. “Okay but next time with Tony--” 

“Stop talking and let me take care of you.” Bucky interrupted, wrapping a strong arm around Steve’s waist and holding him steady. “Or do you still wanna be halfway to dyin’ when we sit down and talk about all the ways I’m gonna juice Tony’s peach the first chance I get?”

“Fuck--” Steve screwed his eyes up tight. “You gonna-- fuck, Bucky. Is that why you were eating a peach this morning? Practicing?” 

“Please baby doll.” Bucky drawled, gripping hard at Steve’s ass and working his fingers in exactly where the blond needed them. “I don’t need any practice, you know damn well I can eat a peach for hours.” 

....

....

...later, after Steve had come embarrassingly fast thinking about Bucky eating Tony’s peach for hours-- later, they switched spots under the warm spray so Steve could work shampoo into Bucky’s long hair, scratching at his scalp and smiling fondly when the big brunette basically purred over it. 

“You’re a sap.” he informed him, and Bucky tossed back, “Says the guy who’s barely standing after blowing the tip of his dick off. It was a hand job, Stevie. Not even my best work.” 

“Fuck off.” Steve said tiredly. “Let’s talk about last night. Did you notice--” 

“-- how disappointed Tony looked when we left?” Bucky finished. “Sure did. You don’t think he took it personal, do you? Just feel like maybe a bakery isn’t the right place to get nekkid, you know?” 

“Yeah I feel like Tony would regret letting us mess up his bake table.” Steve agreed. “And it’s not like we ran outta there, we stayed and kissed for a while until he wasn’t so loopy.” 

“I think it’s alright.” Bucky decided. “Course since he won’t give us his damn phone number we can’t text or nothin’ to make sure his feelings weren’t hurt but we’ll see him tonight.” 

“Gonna fuck him tonight?” 

“I dunno.” he answered honestly. “Feel like the first time we really hook up should be where there’s a bed, right? Blow jobs behind th’counter are one thing, full on getting humpy with it--” Steve cackled with laughter and Bucky grinned. “-- should be somewhere soft and somewhere where the mess isn’t a health code violation, yeah?” 

“Do you think he’s as crazy about us as we are about him?” Steve asked then. “I mean, we went from ‘all we need is each other’ to practically climbing over each other to get to Tony. Think he cares even a little bit?” 

“He’s gotta care a little bit.” Bucky ducked back under the water to rinse the suds away. “Don’t think it’s anything serious though. Only been like a month, Stevie. Nothin’ serious can happen in a month.” 

“We were in love in a month.” 

“No, after a month we’d hit thirty solid days of my dick in your ass.” Bucky countered. “It was at least another month before we even managed a real date, Stevie. That wasn’t love that was-- that was you bein’ way too hot and me not knowin’ the meaning of the words ‘at ease’.” 

“Say what you want.” Steve kissed Bucky’s nose gently. “But I know full well you were head over heels in love with me.” 

“Lies.” Bucky kissed him right back. “Absolute fuckin’ slander. Take it back right now.” 

“Oh honey.” Steve budged closer and kissed him again, sweeping his fingers into Bucky’s hair and holding him close for a long time, brushing his fingers over Bucky’s cheekbones and murmuring soft things when Bucky went real soft against him. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” Bucky said gruffly. “Since the first time you let me at your apple.” 

“..my butt is an apple?” 

“Could bounce a quarter off it baby. Buns of steel but still so so juicy!” 

“Damn it, Bucky.” 

****************

****************

“Hey guys.” Tony was still working on chocolate and guinness frosting when Bucky and Steve showed up that night. “How’s it going?” 

“Stevie’s got blue balls and I’ve been thinkin’ bout your butt all day.” Bucky grabbed onto Tony’s apron strings and yanked him in for a thorough, messy kiss. “How about you?” 

“I’ve got to finish this frosting and rewrite my recipe so it doesn’t look like chicken scratch and thennnnnn....” Tony laughed softy when Steve gave him an equally thorough kiss. “.... then I think we should do something about Steve’s blue balls. New couches?” 

“Super excited to ruin your new couches, yep.” Bucky eyed the mixing bowl curiously. “Is that something I can eat?” 

“It’s something you can smear on my tummy and lick off.” Tony called over Steve’s shoulder as the blond backed him towards the office. “Or on my butt! Or on my-- Ack! Steve! STEVE!” 

Laughter from the office and a quiet oof! as they hit the couch and Bucky plucked a big spatula from a nearby box to scoop up a healthy serving of Tony-tummy appropriate frosting. 

And then when he heard Steve sigh and groan, his already deep voice doing that velvet thing Bucky loved so much, he paused for a second to listen to Tony’s breathy answer, a happy giggle and a sweet sweet moan that sounded halfway adoring. 

.... oh man does Tony sort of love us?

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SUMMARY: Sanghoon finds a breath of fresh air with Hak Bonghwa’s daughter and HBH producer-in-training, Hak Subin.

SERIES: NEW_DECADE PAIRING: Sanghoon + Subin WORD COUNT: 1.3k  WARNINGS: Swear words!

Sanghoon wouldn’t say that he has the best pokerface, but he surely is better at hiding his emotions than Hak Subin. 

Hak Bonghwa’s only daughter sat in a third chair off to the side while the two main producers at HBH, Fren.z and LeeBoi, worked at the soundboard. Sanghoon was squeezed into the recording booth with Yeetai, Longwei, and Taehyung. Sanghoon didn’t think that chanting one verse together would take this long, but they’ve been recording this same part for thirty minutes. He himself was starting to get agitated, Subin looked straight up homicidal. 

“You guys need more energy.” LeeBoi critiqued into the microphone. Subin snorted. “They’d have more energy if you gave them a break to rest their vocal cords.” Her statement was overheard through the speaker, but neither of the producers acknowledged the commentary.

“Let’s try it from the top. Remember, more energy.” LeeBoi talked over Subin, ignoring her like usual. Subin rolled her eyes and played with the ends of her hair, her frown somehow drooping more than before.

The recording finally ended when Fren.z’s alarm went off. Their time in the recording studio was up. The trainees exited the studio, thanking all three producers as they passed. When Taehyung dipped into a bow for Subin, Fren.z chuckled dryly. “She’s younger than you, Taehyung. No need to break your back in half.” He laughed. Subin narrowed her eyes at the older producer, giving him a look so icy it made Sanghoon’s eyebrow twitch. Taehyung let out a weak chuckle before leading the other boys out of the studio.

“God, they’re awful to her.” Taehyung whispered as soon as they left. “I should have stood up for her, shouldn’t I?” 

“Nah, Subin can fight her own battles.” Longwei reassured his friend, giving the other trainee a clap on the back. A mischievous smirk spread on his face. “I bet she appreciated that adequate bow, though.” 

“Shh.” Taehyung chuckled, rolling his eyes. “I had to show my appreciation somehow.” The four boys made their way to the elevator, taking it back up to Trainee Town to complete their training for the day.

When most of the trainees filed out of the practice rooms, Sanghoon decided to stay behind. Lately the stress of showcases, trainee events, and upcoming debut team announcements has been getting to him. He wanted to take some time to do what he really loved: creating his own music.

He knew that all studios were free after three. He took the elevator down to The Dungeons alone, his bags slung over his shoulder.  He’d only stay until four, then he’d head to the dorms and get some shut eye before another day of practice. 

Sanghoon headed to his favorite recording studio, the Green Room, at the very end of the hall. As he walked down the hallway, he heard a familiar beat coming from the Red Studio. He slowed his pace, wondering if Fren.z or LeeBoi were still here. Sanghoon contemplated turning back just to avoid any awkward encounter with the producers, but then he heard a feminine sounding growl of annoyance. 

The trainee furrowed his eyebrows and glanced into the studio. At the soundboard was Subin, running her hands through her platinum hair. Suddenly, Subin wheeled the chair she was in back, turning around sharply. Sanghoon and Subin made eye contact, both of them jumping in surprise. 

Subin, with a hand still over her racing heart, opened the door.

“Sanghoon, don’t do that again.” Subin sighed, but the corner of her mouth twitched upward ever so slightly into a ghost of a grin. “Sorry… I just…” Sanghoon fumbled for the words. “No worries, man.” Subin shook her head. “I get sketched out after three anyways. Y’know, witching hour and shit.” 

“Yeah,” Sanghoon’s fingers fidgeted with the straps of his bags. He spends so much physical time with Subin that he forgets that they don’t really know each other. At all. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to his boss’s daughter. 

“What were you working on?” Sanghoon asked, his eyes darting to the soundboard that Subin was previously sat at.

“Oh, yeah,” Subin looked over her shoulder at the equipment. “The demo you guys recorded earlier sounded like ass once Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Dumbass layered it onto the backtrack. I’ve been trying to fix it, but they created a monster.” 

Subin looked back and Sanghoon with a small grin on her face. “Wanna hear what I’ve got?” 

Sanghoon felt like rejecting the founder’s daughter was not a good idea, so he nodded. Subin let him step into the studio, offering the spare chair next to her at the soundboard.

“See, this is what it sounded like before I got my grimy little hands on it,” Subin pressed play on her computer. The song that they had recorded earlier sounded so manufactured. So bland. Sanghoon’s dislike seemed to have shown on his face, because Subin clapped her hands together and cackled. 

“See? It’s booty isn’t it?” She asked.

“Yeah, that sucks.” Sanghoon agreed. Subin chuckled before typing on her computer again.

“Alright, but now this,” She pressed play. “Is how I think it should sound.” 

Subin’s version was much better. There was more dimension, more personality. She kept the more messier recordings of them chanting rather than the robotic and uniform chant the other producers preferred. The track sounded exciting and fresh.

Sanghoon tapped his fingers to the beat. As good as it was, it was missing something. “Uh-oh,” Subin turned the volume down. “You don’t like something?” 

“No, no. It sounds great. Really great. But…” Sanghoon tried to search for the words.

“Something’s missing, right?” Subin asked. “Yeah.” Sanghoon nodded. “I think you need some like… Adlibs or something.” 

Subin nodded. Her eyes darted to the empty recording booth, then back at Sanghoon. “You’re a rapper, right?” She asked. “Yeah.” “Do you think you could improv some cool adlibs?” She asked, a smirk appearing on her face.

Sanghoon’s plan to stay until four was tossed out the window once he and Subin started bouncing ideas off one another. Even if Sanghoon noticed how late it was, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He really enjoyed spending time with Subin. She was chill and took things so simply. Being around Subin was like taking a break from reality, and Sanghoon wasn’t ready to return back just yet. It was nearing five in the morning when Subin finally recognized how late they had stayed. 

“Holy hell, look at the time.” Subin gasped, holding up her cellphone. “We should probably go. You have practice in a few hours.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Sanghoon groaned. “Hey, debut announcements come out soon. Hopefully you’ll only be a trainee for a little while longer.” Subin comforted him. “Just enjoy the ride. Soon you’ll be looking back on your trainee days with nostalgia.” 

Sanghoon nodded, taking in her advice. He was just about to leave when a realization hit him.

“Hey, are you walking home alone?” Sanghoon paused in the doorway. Subin chuckled. “Do I really look that weak?” “No, but I’ll still walk you to the subway or something.” Sanghoon shifted his bag awkwardly. 

The producer pouted. “You’re cute, Sanghoon. But don’t worry about it. I’m ordering an Uber to come pick me up in a few. It’ll be right outside the company, don’t you worry.” “Okay. Cool.” Sanghoon nodded, shifting his weight on his feet. “I guess I’ll see you tomor- in a few hours, then?” 

Subin grinned. “Yeah. I’ll see you soon. Sweet dreams.” “You too.” Sanghoon smiled before closing the door to the studio.  He felt as if he had just jumped between worlds. Everything felt a little dazed to Sanghoon as he made it to the elevators, exiting the building on the main floor. As he crossed the street to the subway station, he couldn’t help but daydream about making regular late night visits to the recording studios.

Medea Plays Pokemon Sword: Part V

Post-game time!

This. This is when you receive the Master Ball. Better late than never.

Head on over to Leon’s house for a free Charmander.

Time to meet Hop over at the grave site where we meet Assistant Sonia. Oh wait...

Quite fast. But she’s got the lab coat on and she even has an assistant working under her. So, there you go. Official Pokemon Professor!

And that’s even faster! I guess things are coming up Sonia.

What could possibly crush...?

Oh hello, new hate-o-rade targets!

Great, Galar has Yelp trolls. And what are the names of these fucking clowns?

*snorts*

OH MY GOD, THESE FUCKING NAMES! SORDWARD? FUCKING SORDWARD? WHAT IS THAT, SQUIDWARD’S COUSIN THAT PLAYS WITH KNIVES?

AND THESE FUCKING HAIRSTYLES! FUCKING MARGE SIMPSON HAS MORE STYLE THAN THAT! I SERIOUS...I SERIOUSLY CANNOT EVEN!

But do go on, please.

Yeah, for the remainder of this shit-post, your new names are officially Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Balls.

In Sword, you’ll fight Tweedle Dick while Hop fights Tweedle Balls. And in Sword, it’s vice-versa.

Hop will lose and one of these butt-wipes steals his artifact. But it doesn’t end there. They go on trashing you!

Tweedle Dick, I was up against Satan’s Tapeworm, where in some instances I’m unable to use my pokemon’s moves. Where the fuck were you and your idiot brother?

AND NOW I’M GETTING BLAMED FOR DAMAGE BEDE CAUSED?!

That does it!

Bede is officially demoted back to Shinji Matou levels for this. Seriously, getting blamed for that by these snobby pricks.

So Tweedle Dick and Balls decide to cause havoc throughout Galar by having pokemon in all the gyms (except Piers’s) go rogue with Dynamax power.

So now you will have to work with Hop, for some reason Piers, and the gym leader(s) to take down the Dynamaxed pokemon. First, we hit up Milo’s gym.

Oh...fuck.

What was Tsareena’s dex entry again?

We’re dead. We’re gonna die in Milo’s gym.

Thankfully we didn’t die here. In come these trolls.

People in glass houses shouldn’t cast stones. God I hate these fuckers.

But I seriously am loving Piers hanging with us. It’s not like he has a gym to run or anything like that.

Ex? Does this mean Marnie is the new gym leader?

Onto Nessa’s gym.

I quite like this group.

Hey, after you help out at the gyms, you get rare album cards.

WHOA!

On top of which, she’s a model. Move over Elesa, Nessa is winning in my book. Might as well quench on another rare card.

WHOA MOMMA!

Dang man, Gordie got me having them thoughts! Okay, one more.

Aw, Piers looks so cute here.

Stupid thought time. Does Piers’s carpet match the drapes? Because I will seriously lose it if he’s exactly like Hatsuharu Sohma.

After helping Nessa and Kabu, Tweedle Dick and Balls decide to harass Sonia at her place of work. I am officially sick of these weirdos.

They challenge you to battle again. After that...BETRAYAL.

Dang. That was a dick-move working for a man with a dick-shaped hairstyle. I can’t imagine how Sonia must fe...

DEATH TO THE BITCH WHO MADE SONIA CRY!

Nice analogy.

Just like Trump can name his son Bar...

NOT HERE, NOT NOW MEDEA!

Fine.

After helping Bea’s gym, it’s time to help Opal.

Oh fuck, that’s right. This little shit is the gym leader now.

Eat a buffet of dicks, dude.

Piers is officially my favorite character of this game.

Here you don’t have to go up against a Dynamaxed pokemon. However, you do get challenged by this butt-nugget. I guess if Opal sees the good in this kid, I probably should too.

88? She’s 88 and was still a gym leader? Opal is savage!

Hmm...

Okay, I guess I can leave you at Trip levels. Don’t get too cocky kid, Trip is awful too.

Helped Gordie and Raihan’s gym. All leading to a showdown at the Energy Plant again. But getting inside was going to be trouble. This looks like a job for Yamper!

Sonia’s little corgles came back.

Inside, I’m being heckled by Tweedle Dick and his whack-ass posse.

And Tweedle Balls is about to be ripped to shreds by a legendary doggo on steroids.

Legendary Doggo is calm now thanks to second legendary doggo.

Now it’s time for me to give doggo his sword, battle him, and capture him.

Tweedle Dick and Balls see the errors of their ways and...

They’re still rude ass-clowns.

At least they’re willing to admit their wrongs.

And even unnamed assistant apologized.

After all that, back to the grave site.

And Hop gets the other legendary doggo...without putting up a fight and just allowing him to catch him with a regular pokeball, what fresh fuckary is this Pokemon?

After a final fight from Hop, we come across Hop thinking about his future.

So Sonia decides to make Hop her assistant.

We end this arc with Leon, Piers and Tweedle Dick and Balls coming to be civil. Okay, I’ll accept this.

Well folks, I don’t think there’s anything else I should talk about with Pokemon Sword. So I’ll just...

CLEFABLE SPAM!

MISSY THE CLEFABLE HAS FINALLY COME HOME TO HER MAMA!

Missy has a ball.

Missy loves her ball. She shall name it “Eduardo”.

Ooh, bigger ball. Missy take for her own!

Aw, I love you Missy. Wait, should I intervene that...oh they’ll figure it out. Missy is busy existing.

Yeah, after all that action on Pokemon Sword, all that’s left is the Battle Tower. I’ll probably mess with that one of these days.

Now, I’d like to start up Pokemon Shield.

Because it’s Missy’s (the human) time to shine!

To be continued.

naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes,  a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea

nickatnightwalker brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?

sorcieresque Are you.

nickatnightwalker well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever

sorcieresque Good. He's not that cute either way. Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.

nickatnightwalker it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped.  like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by

nickatnightwalker anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come

sorcieresque I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God. I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.

nickatnightwalker this is an escape run daise take it or leave it

sorcieresque Fine. This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.

nickatnightwalker shes not real good is she

sorcieresque No. Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.

nickatnightwalker now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped

sorcieresque Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.

nickatnightwalker round ish

sorcieresque Your face is round-ish.

nickatnightwalker no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact

sorcieresque I could if I wanted to. Take back that my head is weird-shaped.

nickatnightwalker you cant change my face

sorcieresque I can and I shall.

nickatnightwalker cant and shant

sorcieresque Take it back.

nickatnightwalker you must have seen it though

sorcieresque I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.

nickatnightwalker huh you really missed an opportunity there then

sorcieresque Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.

nickatnightwalker absolutely not hey do you think ai could even turn into me she doesnt really know what i look like

sorcieresque What do you mean.

nickatnightwalker i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad shes gonna get shit wrong

sorcieresque Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation. It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.

nickatnightwalker kind of unsettling maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us

sorcieresque On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.

nickatnightwalker for you i think she would happily

sorcieresque I know. It's charming. My intentions are only pure and scientific.

nickatnightwalker that part she might not love

sorcieresque That sounds like a her-problem.

nickatnightwalker itll be a you problem if she says no

sorcieresque What if she knows how to mold us to a T.

nickatnightwalker how could she possibly

sorcieresque Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)

nickatnightwalker no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it theres no way shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath

sorcieresque Then what's the big deal. Don't be a pussy.

nickatnightwalker well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one

sorcieresque What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world? She didn't seem to know about me.

nickatnightwalker theres a lot less to guess on with you daise

nickatnightwalker no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there

nickatnightwalker and most of us have seen your ass too

sorcieresque That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome. There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.

nickatnightwalker no, not less, just less that people dont know about it's the public semi-nudity daise

sorcieresque You make it sound a lot worse than it is.

sorcieresque You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.

nickatnightwalker oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet

sorcieresque Haha. Hardened.

nickatnightwalker i dont get it can you explain?

sorcieresque Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.

nickatnightwalker hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?

sorcieresque Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.

sorcieresque The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.

nickatnightwalker you joke and yet

sorcieresque Deepthroating a banana is cheating.

nickatnightwalker no it is NOT besides thats just how i eat them

sorcieresque Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.

nickatnightwalker please, as if she could eat a banana like i can

sorcieresque She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.

nickatnightwalker you got me there but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction

sorcieresque I suddenly don't care about this.

nickatnightwalker some principles are universal daisy

sorcieresque I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.

nickatnightwalker itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips

sorcieresque Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.

nickatnightwalker what oh yeah he just asked if i like being human

nickatnightwalker like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay

sorcieresque Aaaay! Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.

nickatnightwalker oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here "hey whats your favorite color" "do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"

sorcieresque Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.

nickatnightwalker as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him

sorcieresque Twinsies.

nickatnightwalker i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker

sorcieresque On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?

nickatnightwalker while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel

sorcieresque You've always been good at haggling.

nickatnightwalker thank you you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?

sorcieresque Ha! Perhaps not quite so good, then.

nickatnightwalker that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy

sorcieresque I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.

nickatnightwalker oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too

sorcieresque Someone's touchy.

nickatnightwalker shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand

sorcieresque An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?

nickatnightwalker with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn

sorcieresque And your sunglasses are smudged.

nickatnightwalker and your towel is too sandy to clean them on

sorcieresque And there's Sandflies.

nickatnightwalker when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours

sorcieresque Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch. Anyway.

nickatnightwalker anyway shes real fuckin annoying

sorcieresque She's not so bad. I would have stopped around the sunglasses.

nickatnightwalker you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal

sorcieresque I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.

nickatnightwalker that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near

nickatnightwalker im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm

sorcieresque What about /my/ problems, Nick.

nickatnightwalker cleas gotta come out, im not goin in

nickatnightwalker i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde  that's your bad choice not mine

sorcieresque Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.

nickatnightwalker is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway

sorcieresque Yes.

nickatnightwalker name names bitch!

sorcieresque What is this, a middle school sleepover?

nickatnightwalker yep

nickatnightwalker ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill

sorcieresque You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea. Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.

nickatnightwalker of course i dont but i have YET to see a name drop

sorcieresque Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?

nickatnightwalker yes imagine some clapping emojisfor me

sorcieresque You're very insistent.

nickatnightwalker well yeah

nickatnightwalker course i wanna hear whats up

sorcieresque Oh.

sorcieresque Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute. Ines among them.

sorcieresque You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting. Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy. I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.

nickatnightwalker thats vague and intriguing keep going

sorcieresque That's all there is to say.

sorcieresque Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids. I think they're cute.

nickatnightwalker they sent me a picture of them before yknow, before why can you see them?

sorcieresque I don't know. And oh. How very juicy of them.

nickatnightwalker dyou want it

sorcieresque Absolutely I do.

nickatnightwalker [it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]

sorcieresque I see. Thank you for your candor.

nickatnightwalker youre welcome you and clea all straightened out? after what they said and everything i know they apologized but still

sorcieresque I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.

nickatnightwalker oh thats so smooth im impressed of you i mean since you told them what to do

sorcieresque And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.

nickatnightwalker obedience? generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks

sorcieresque Yes? And what would those be.

nickatnightwalker a fourth dimension australian accent

sorcieresque The compulsive chivalry grew on me.

nickatnightwalker it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop

sorcieresque Interesting.

sorcieresque I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.

nickatnightwalker i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend

sorcieresque They contain multitudes. That's why they look like that.

nickatnightwalker well shit youre not wrong there i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing

sorcieresque Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.

nickatnightwalker thank you i do try to work that in though at least sometimes

sorcieresque Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?

nickatnightwalker absolutely i do i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded

sorcieresque Wow, you're even internally consistent.

nickatnightwalker oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me

sorcieresque Whatever happened to the mystery!

nickatnightwalker new school new me

sorcieresque Your transparency of character disgusts me.

nickatnightwalker oh man daise it disgusts me too

'My Sis Can Make Things Awkward, for That She is My Hero' In ‘Pulp’, Bukowski’s last book, the soggy protagonist Nick Belane laments that people are just getting dumber. That he can’t even find the will to acknowledge them anymore. This precedes him knocking one of these dumb people out and then discarding said dumb person’s wallet into a drainage ditch. I had a similar encounter the other night. Minus the make-believe ending where violence serves justice with extra olives. I usually avoid public speaking, blogging or ranting of any kind when it comes from anger. ‘Cause really who needs to perpetuate more of that shit? But now I feel angry and also compelled. I know it must be fiercely intimidating to imagine me pissed off but one night in my hometown this week left me feeling eager for violence. We all have those movies in our mind. It is when we are going to bed and when we are in the shower that we win every hypothetical argument and kick every hypothetical ass that needs kicking. In real life it went down more like this: ~~~~~ “Like, I’ll take a blonde or a brunette. I mean, if you had them right in front of me … and both were super hot, I would take the brunette. But if the brunette was super hot and the blonde was like super, super hot … then I would take the blonde.” My sister Lizzie and I were enjoying a pleasant dinner together on the outside deck of Goombay’s. I was saying something when the philosophical musings above caught our attention from the table behind Lizzie. I stopped mid-sentence to listen. After such careful comparisons with such delicate tact, I completely lost track of what I was saying. Lizzie and I both laughed to each other. A couple of minutes later the Tweedle-Dee ’s harped their intellectual pipes some more … “I’ve had like 6 Land Sharks bro” “No way, you’ve had at least 7!” “How do we tell with these pitchers?” “Whoa… I don’t bro. It’s like impossible to know. Haha” More time went on. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, my sister turned around to the table and asked them to watch what they were saying. After being called out by my sister, he just sat dazed for a moment and then slobbered, “What? We’re all white here!” “Actually, that doesn’t matter. What the Fuck?!” replied Lizzie. I asked my sister what he’d said and she told me. Apparently one of them said something about black people in downtown Melbourne and ended it with the N word. Then he went on about how “you couldn’t walk downtown without them looking at his girlfriend’s WHITE ASS.” He shouted the ‘White Ass’ part. I’m guessing she’s a brunette. I couldn’t tell you because she wasn’t at the table with them pounding Land Sharks. Perhaps her ‘white ass’ was taking an off night from Romeo. Perhaps her ‘white ass’ was treating itself to something a tad bit more formidable than the Land Shark Gobbler’s cute little baby dick. Now you may be thinking, “Why are you making assumptions about his dick? What does his dick have to do with any of this?” To that I answer this. It is possible his dick has nothing to do with this. It is also possible that he isn’t drinking so many Land Sharks to forget about his depressed, little, baby dick. It is also possible that the giant pick-up truck he peeled out of the parking lot with wasn’t purchased to compensate for his angry, little, itty bitty, cheesy, baby dick. And it MAY EVEN BE POSSIBLE that the reason another man, especially a black man, looking at his girlfriend’s ass drives him mad enough to use a word soaked in centuries worth of hate has nothing to do with his chickpea, pinky, baby carrot, lottery pencil, angry, little, itty bitty, cheesy, baby dick. And no offense to those with baby dicks that overcome such adversity without turning to disgusting levels of self pity and ignorance. Kudos to those who have become a master of fellatio or give bomb-ass back-rubs. After all everyone has something they hate about themselves. For me? Well, I would tell you but then that is all you would see when you looked at me! And then I’d have to kill you. Which in turn would make me a hypocrite for acting out in anger to my insecurities! One giant OM for enlightenment! One thing we can agree on is it is the manner in which one faces adversity that matters right? I have proof to back my claim here and you will see that this isn’t wholly a ‘baby-dick apologist’ paragraph. It also serves as quite the ‘baby-dick segue’ paragraph. We have made some amazing friends since living in LA. Of these friends, two of my favorite humans are black, gay men. I am unaware if either are Jewish but if so, that would be like the trifecta of adversity! Still, I could never come close to how it must feel to be a black, gay man. (I mean yes, I do love wearing dresses on occasion and I can pop and lock better than most girls in rap videos. Nevertheless, I am far from understanding the struggle.) Both of these friends are doing amazing things. Both are an inspiration to me. To be honest, I don’t usually even see them as gay, black men doing well. I just see them as guys I know doing rad shit. Moments like these remind me to step back and appreciate how much they’ve had to overcome to be where they are. I’m in awe. I’m also in awe of my sister. Without hesitation, she spoke up. Even they became more heated in their ignorance, I have to think that she at least planted a seed of doubt in their minds. Maybe he will think twice before saying such a word in public again? Maybe not? Maybe it just pissed him off more. It wasn’t a good sign that the words “You’re a BITCH!” was yelled at Lizzie as they drove away. As much as I was proud of my sister for saying something I was also ashamed at myself for not speaking up myself. I have to admit, in that moment I felt like Bukowski’s ‘Nick Belane’. All I could do was roll my eyes and not give them any more of my attention. I just kept thinking, “I’m just so tired of stupid, fucking people. I can’t even bring myself to acknowledge them.” But that is the reality. There are still so many stupid, fucking people. And as long as that is the reality I think it would be better for me to acknowledge the malignancy. I have to say it again I am really proud of Lizzie. She is ten times smarter than me, has a family and her work in the last few years has been helping people of all ages and races overcome their personal adversities. And in that moment, she spoke up. Phew. What a badass. Now I also realize that me speaking up could have led to a few things. Here is the fun part. Make-Believe Option 1: Me intellectually belittling him in front of a crowd of onlookers. In this case he would throw out senseless arguments rooted in antiquated philosophies that I would quickly dismantle all while making it very clear that he was acting out of fear and anguish over his insufficient endowments. He would realize he must join a baby dicks anonymous group and trade in his giant Pick-Up for a Prius. I would get a free slice of Key Lime Pie and my sister a gift certificate for a free dinner for her family. Order restored. OM! Make-Believe Option 2: Me recalling all the mixed martial arts I absorbed as a child watching countless JCVD and Steven Segal Movies, and fusing them into the ass-kicking of the season! First he would throw his beer my way. I would of course duck and the beer would soak his friend. Then he would come in strong with a right hook. I would of course easily avoid this. He would swing again with his left. Grabbing his wrist and re-directing it over my shoulder, I would then flip him over and his shoe would clip the giant pitcher of Land Shark, soaking his friend. Then I’d order another pitcher of Land Shark and waterboard him with that and the dirty bar towel. Okay, that is a little extreme. I wouldn’t do that. I would just half nelson him until he became faint and just whisper, “go to sleep little baby-dick, go to dreamland.” He would awake feeling gratitude that I took it so easy on him and well … join a baby-dick anonymous group and trade in his purple Polo shirt for a Black Lives Matter shirt. Order restored. Motha-fucking OM! Perhaps only realistic, slightly possible Option 3: Me unassumingly approaching baby-dick and asking him we could talk. Then I would disarm him with my humility and woo him with my sincerity. Actually neither of those are very realistic. Maybe I would just tell him, “Hey Baby-dick, the way you …” OK, FINE! I WON’T CALL HIM ANYTHING TRIGGERING! “Hey man, I have a lot of people in my life that aren’t white that mean the world to me so what you said earlier really hurts my heart.” I suppose I would just have to see where that would take things. But in all reality, it would do more good than the first two options would. Despite those two being quite fun to play out in my mind over and over again. ~~~~~ I don’t want to hate white people. I don’t want everyone else to hate white people. But man have I been feeling annoyed by ‘white people’ lately. I’ve consciously not made this a political piece. There is always an argument to be made over politics. Some angle that led a person to vote Red or Blue. But there is no argument or shining nugget of intellect that can be postured for being a bigot. The next bar we went to I found myself in a similar position where a few guys and a girl were gawking at a lesbian couple as though they were some freak show. Just two girls cuddled on a couch together enjoying each others company had these guys losing their wits. All of this has me feeling a little let down by my hometown. Though homogenous, it is just a quiet beach town with surfers and laid-back people. I never really saw examples of racism or prejudice growing up there. ‘Sheltered’ doesn’t need to be a negative thing until it spawns ignorance. And the only political thing I’ll say is that with the election of such a rude, unenlightened guy as Trump, there seems to be a re-emerging ‘right to be rude’. That is pretty scary. If AOL Instant Message was still a thing I would say let’s all get on and have a group chat about this stuff. I don’t really know how to proceed with anything. I also am not trying to incite something where everyone should take offense to everything! God, I wouldn’t be able to write anymore. I have friends that say despicable things for the sake of humor and shock value. As do I. That isn’t really what I am talking about here. When there is nothing but real hate behind a comment, no matter how small it is, that is what I am talking about. But I think a lot of this weird lackadaisical bigotry is from systematic racism. Maybe it is people’s parents? Or friend’s parents that say racist things? And we grow up and never never ask them if they really feel that strongly about that? And why? Or maybe it is because no one, including myself ever has the guts to say, “hey, that actually hurts my heart when you say that.” Because God help us, we would rather be ANYTHING than socially awkward! But shit if these nimrods have the guts to be public racists, it’s time we have the guts to be publicly awkward! And my sister sure as hell did. Love that skank! I would highly suggest reading my mom’s reason for ‘being on the bus’ to march with a million women in Washington, D.C. on January 21st. I am very blessed. I was born a white man. I realize the societal upper hand in that even if I don’t try to flaunt it. Hell even if I try to trick people into thinking I’m a hawt white chick half the time! But I was also blessed with enlightened family in my life: Three brave, independent women; a sincere, hilarious Jewish father; an extended family of patient, good people and tons and tons of friends that give me the chance to prove I’m not just another annoying white person. Here is a link to my Mom’s piece. - “Why I’m On the Bus” http://us12.campaign-archive2.com/?u=a7e7bdf578bef8c58a223b965&id=21ea709ca4 -Chris