Still have no power after hurricane Ian, so I'm sitting here, reading Tumblr by candle light, eating cold ravioli straight from the can and listening to frogs' calls (they are delighted about these recent developments)

chanlix moments i think about a lot (7/?) - channie’s room ep. 105

hey! i'm not dead!! :D

So, here’s the thing. Leo never really realized how many things were casually phrased as orders until he got cursed. Turns out, it’s a lot more than he originally thought.

marty hart's cyclical return to praising family as THE thing that keeps a man grounded, stable, and happy (specifically in pointing out that rust DOESN'T have a family) even as flashbacks show him spiraling into jealous macho violence as he lies to, mistreats, and destroys his family over the course of multiple affairs (by which he deliberately steps outside of and away from his family despite his wife's best efforts to get him to reconnect and step up to be the family man he sees himself as)

vs

rust cohle's repeated excoriations of the idea of individuality and personhood and the stupid self-centeredness and entitlement that comes with saying "I, a human being, matter to the universe, and the things I do matter", an ideology he carries for years and waxes poetic on for his interviewers as late as 2012, even as he obsessively works himself to the bone to get justice and resolution for the victims he's assigned and ultimately to protect children from the powerful and dangerous people who want to brutalize them

Hey team, just a reminder I go back to work tomorrow!

What does that mean?

My activity significantly diminishes during the week (Mon-Fri).

There can, may and will be periods where I am completely absent from the dash for days at a time.

I may be harder to contact in general, as I tend to save a lot of my messages to answer on the weekend/in periods where I have high(er) spoons.

My queue may run out and I look dead for a while.

I'm hoping, due to the sheer amount I have added to the queue over this holiday period, I should be good. I'm also trying to remember to utilise my laptop more and hang out on the dash there, so I'm not as exhausted sitting at my actual pc.

If you're waiting on things from me, please expect mild delays!

FURF CONFIRMED TO BE UPDATING TO 1.20

Oh god, Carlos O'Connell really nailed it, didn't he. He knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote Big Shot. That instrumentation. The lyrics, even as seemingly abstract and distant they are. I get it. What he's written, I couldn't always pinpoint a lyric and tell you, this is what it is, but I know what he's written the song about. It's almost too fragile to put it into words. It might even break it to try. It would be too ugly to. But you get what he's saying. And when Grian puts his low, slow, strong and here very wistful, almost nihilist and faraway vocals onto it, he's really conveying what Carlos meant to say and it's so beautiful I might be sick to my stomach. I listen to that song sitting at home, and I feel homesick. Because it's about the other home. The unattainable one. The one only in memory, the one you left behind, forever. It's the fact that it will never exist for you. You will always be on the move. Home is everywhere and nowhere. It is a pin rusting through a mental map. It's an image in my head and it's been stuck there for ten years, rusting. I— my god. This song.

you guys remember how I said I was moving into an all lesbian flat a few months ago? yeah don't do that

honestly, the barbie movie came out exactly when i needed it most.

for a while now I've felt really sad and ugly and hollow. and this movie comes out and i feel . loved and wanted. and heard. and understood.

and i can look at my own reflection and admire my face without feeling repulsed. and i love my cheeks and my wrinkles and my acne. and it all takes time and effort but im willing to do it to love myself more .

literally yesterday i was like. life is hard but it could be worse. the house could be on fire. guess what i woke up to this morning.

I GOT THE APARTMENT!!! 😁

sometimes i feel really selfconcious abt how much i have to say cause i feel like it looks like im tryin to get the last word but i swear im not im just so very excited to talk LMAO i always have a lot to say. i know "talking too much" isnt like. an actual thing. because usually its just, actually personality conflicts. like i mean its not morally wrong to talk a lot or whatever. im not trying to get the last word im just chatty.

i was kinda trained to be mega self conscious by my abuser and its faded A LOT but "talking too much" or appearing like im trying to get the last word still gets under my skin. idk. my friends are chill, im sure no one i talk to thinks that of me in like a mean way. everyone ive met through gw2blr has been extremely relaxed and kind. we're all just here to play funney bideo gaem and talk abt funney littel guyes. 👍

its nice. and ive been able to regain my self confidence, which i lost when i was like. eight. i havent felt this sefe and secure in my self since I was six. That's not hyperbole. the last time i wasnt scared of talking to people or starting conversations, i was an actual toddler. im twenty-one now. insane.

anyway shout out to how chill this community is and thank you all for being so chill 👍 hope i get to keep hanging out with you and making jokes with you.

we should abolish birthdays

Oh girl i'm so proud of you! whats the funny story😂❤️

AH THANK YOU nonnie!!! you're so sweet!!! and HAHAHA thank you for asking i'm desperate to tell :) cus IT'S WILD girl so when i was 14 and just getting really sick i was on that side of tumblr right and i had this mutual i remembered really well cus we interacted a lot and stuff like that. we weren't ever bff close but u know we always commented on stuff & sent each other asks etc etc... fast forward to 17 year old me (no longer on edblr <3) hooking up with some random cutie at a mutual friend's birthday party. i don't hear from her for a couple months but think fondly of her based on how fun she was to talk to and her skills ;). randomly she hits me up on snap one day to tell me she just came out as trans & wanted to connect with me again cus she knew i'm queer and she remembered me being really nice so we talked and YEAH now we're platonic best friends and HERES THE KICKER............as u have probably guessed........ she was that edblr mutual from when we were both fourteen😭!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear to fucking god this was the craziest "everyone is always connected" moment of my life we still aren't over it