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quin-ns · 1 year

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The Bet (Soldier Boy x Reader)

Word count: 4.4K

Summary: butcher leaves you to keep an eye on soldier boy and things become interesting when a deck of cards gets involved

Tags: (18+), enemies to lovers (not exactly but kinda), canon-typical behavior, soldier boy being soldier boy (yes that’s a warning), humor/comedy, strip poker, bets, kissing, fingering, unprotected p in v sex, table sex, surprise ending

A/N: been wanting to write for a jensen character for a while and got inspired rewatching the boys. the character is such an ass but I can’t help but be into him lol

Cross-posted to ao3 • the boys masterlist • writing masterlist

“We’ll be back in a bit,” Butcher announced, stepping in the direction of the door. He looked between you and Hughie, as if still trying to decide which ‘we’ he wanted. “Come on, lad,” he addressed the latter. Hughie seemed relieved, eyeing Soldier Boy wearily before standing and joining Butcher.

Hughie gave you an apologetic look, while Butcher pointed at you and said, “you—keep an eye on him.” He pointed at the supe, as if it wasn’t obvious.

You scoffed, narrowing your eyes at Butcher. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“No,” Butcher replied casually, ushering Hughie out the door before he himself attempted to step out. You got to your feet and caught the door before he could shut it. Butcher let out a dramatic sound and cocked his head as he looked down at you.

You didn’t find him intimidating, not anymore. You had squared up against the man more than once. Hell, you thought Butcher respected you more for it.

“You have a problem?” he asked, baiting you.

“He’s gonna try and fuck me,” you said bluntly—albeit under your breath.

Butcher scoffed out a laugh, seeming actually amused. He also knew it was true. Ever since Soldier Boy had laid his eyes on you, he’d been gunning for you. Whether it was lewd comments or hungry gazes, it was obvious to everyone. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide it one bit.

“Well, don’t let him then,” Butcher offered in a mocking tone.

Butcher wouldn’t have left you with the man if he thought you’d actually get hurt, you knew that. And it’s not like the supe scared you—at least not for that reason. The only one who seemed outwardly uncomfortable with his behavior was Hughie. You could handle him, but being alone in his company wasn’t an ideal way to spend your afternoon.

“Gee, thanks,” you replied sarcastically.

“Hey lady, I’m a gentleman,” Soldier Boy piped up in a gruff, annoyed voice. He seemed genuinely offended.

“See?” Butcher said in that stupid, I told you so tone. “Like I said, we’ll be back.”

With an annoyed huff, you pulled your hand from the door and allowed the man to pull it shut in your face. You caught his victorious smirk right before. Everything was a showdown with Butcher it seemed, and boy did he love to win.

“So,” Soldier Boy started as you turned back to him. “Are you gonna be a bitch to me this whole time? Just ‘cause I paid you a few compliments?”

You scoffed and shook your head, wondering how he thought saying shit like, “your tits look great in that shirt,” counted as a compliment. Whatever, he wasn’t going to change and you weren’t going to bother yourself with lecturing the stubborn asshole. You and the boys needed him as a weapon, not as a politically correct member of society. You’d burden yourself with whipping him into shape after he took care of Homelander.

“We’re gonna end up with a few hours to kill,” you noted as a change of topic, looking around the room.

You could hear the smirk in his voice when Soldier Boy said, “if you’re looking for suggestions, I have a few ideas.”

You rolled your eyes, but glossed over it. He was attractive and even charismatic—you couldn’t deny that—but he seemed to counter that with the crudeness of his personality. You spotted a deck of cards and grabbed it. “How’s your poker face?” you asked, holding up the cards for him to see.

“Texas hold ‘em?” He actually seemed into the idea.

“Sure, why not,” you decided.

You sat down across from him at the table where he’d been sitting. He pushed aside wrappers and pill bottles to make room. You began to deal and laid out the cards.

“What, you don’t have any chips?” Soldier Boy asked, looking at you expectantly.

“Where would I have chips at?”

“I don’t know, poker was your idea. You can’t play poker without betting.”

“I mean, you can,” you argued half-heartedly. Being alone with him was exhausting already.

“If you’re fucking boring you can,” he shot back. Suddenly, a look you could only describe as devious crossed his face. “We could play strip poker.”

At first, your instinct was to tell him hell no. You should’ve, honestly. Another part of you wondered if it would be fun— it was that impulsive, indelicate side of you that made you work so well with the boys. You must’ve been curious, crazy, or both to agree. But, you did.

“Fine.”

He practically beamed, grinning in victory. You were already starting to regret it. “Now it’s a real game. Gotta have something on the line.”

Even as he said that, you had an inkling that the stakes would be a bit higher for you. And as the two of you played and clothing began to disappear from the both of you, you suspected he wanted to be naked in front of you almost as much as he wanted you to be naked in front of him. That became obvious when he took off his shirt and pants after his first two losses. You’d opted to remove a sock after yours.

Still, the two of you carried on a conversation during the game. It was a shock to you when you began to relax around him. It was even more surprising when you laughed at some stupid joke he made at Hughie and Butcher’s expense.

“You seem like most of the brains behind the operation,” Soldier Boy continued, laying the charm on thick. You could spot it clear as day, but even you weren’t totally immune to it as you grew to actually enjoy the game.

“More like their wrangler,” you replied with a small laugh.

“Maybe they’re too busy grabbing at each other's dicks,” Soldier Boy suggested. It pulled another laugh from you despite the offensiveness of it. Being around the boys for so long you’d developed a darker sense of humor.

A smile crossed his face, seeming proud of himself as he watched you react.

“You startin’ to hate me less?” he asked suddenly, like he just had to know right then.

“What?” you replied with a small chuckle, hardly registering the question for a minute. “Does it matter?”

It seemed to pain him when he replied unconvincingly, “no,” with a scoff. “Well, maybe.”

“Wow, that must’ve been hard,” you commented sarcastically. “Does my opinion actually matter to you?”

“What, a guy can’t make conversation?” Soldier Boy was getting defensive.

Over the past however long, his ego had been deeply bruised. You saw it back when he realized the truth about his team. He’d been betrayed and forgotten. You suspected there was a part of him, a still human part, that was desperately seeking approval. Even if he covered it up.

Still, you dropped it. You could’ve told him that you were beginning to think he wasn’t so bad, but you didn’t want to risk boosting his ego. He was still a dick, you tried not to forget that.

After a few more hands, you were missing socks and pants—still keeping your bra, underwear, and shirt—and he was missing everything except a sock and boxers. You were sort of in the lead, but things were pretty tied up.

You gathered the cards up again and began to shuffle. “Why don’t we play gin rummy?” you suggested. You were getting a tad tired of the same game over and over.

“What? Why? We’ll keep playing this. Deal.”

You let out a huff, but gave in. You decided to just go ahead and deal.

“One last round,” you told him.

“Whatever,” he replied in a mutter, collecting his cards.

You two played and carried on a light conversation about random things. You weren’t really focused on playing truthfully, but you should’ve been. You lost the hand, meaning you had to lose something else. Soldier Boy seemed eagerly awaiting your decision, most likely assuming you’d take off your shirt. You’d already lost your socks and pants, so it seemed like a natural progression.

So, of course, you had to screw with him.

You reached under your shirt and unhooked your bra. You removed the straps through your sleeves and pulled it out from the bottom of your shirt.

“Oh, you’re killing me, sweetheart,” Soldier Boy said huskily under his breath.

You let out a small chuckle to yourself at his reaction. You let him suffer for another few seconds before announcing, “Alright, I’m bored.”

“What?” Soldier Boy furrowed his brows. “No, c’mon, keep playing,” he tried to convince you yet again.

“We’ve been playing for an hour and you refuse to learn any other game,” you argued back.

“I know how to play other games. I just prefer poker.” Soldier Boy frowned as you scraped together the card to put them back in the box. “What about a bet? One last game, winner takes all.”

You eyed him curiously, wondering where he was going with this. You’d let him convince you to play strip poker and that was already pushing it. “What kind of bet?”

Soldier Boy couldn’t bite back his grin and you had a feeling where he was going with this. “How about I win, you let me fuck you,” he stated casually. You scoffed. Of course he couldn’t help himself. He fully registered the bored I’m over it expression on your face, yet continued anyway. “And if you win, you let me fuck you and I’ll thank you for the privilege.”

At that, you couldn’t help but laugh in his face. “What kind of deal is that?” Your voice was dripping with amusement. It was actually kinda funny, the level of audacity and shamelessness he had. “No thanks, buddy.”

You moved to stand and heard Soldier Boy curse under his breath. “Fine, fine,” he said loudly, regaining your attention. If you could read people the way you thought, he seemed kinda desperate. It was almost comical. Then, his tone shifted. “I heard you earlier,” he said seriously. It threw you off. “That supe you want dead. Not Homelander, the other one. Personal to you.”

Tek Knight… Why was he bringing up that bastard?

“Heard you trying to slip him onto the list for me to take out,” Soldier Boy continued knowingly. “But your boss won’t let you.”

“Butcher isn’t my boss,” you corrected. It was the wrong thing to focus on, so you did something that was probably going to be very unadvised in hindsight. You heard Soldier Boy out.

“Whatever. Because I like you,”—you raised your brows at that and muttered an uh huh to yourself, because you didn’t really believe him—“you win and I’ll take him out.”

He was groveling, but damn him for figuring out something you wanted. You hated Homelander and pretty much all supes just like the rest of the boys, but also, like they all did, you had a grudge against a certain supe. Tek Knight was the reason Butcher found you. Before he even brought in Hughie, he had found you. Because Tek Knight had killed someone you loved.

Que the tragic backstory, right? You all had one. At one point you had believed the superheroes were heroes. That is, until you saw Tek Knight recklessly kill a bus with civilians in it—one of which was your best friend. Vought covered it up, blamed the criminals he’d been chasing, and praised the supe for his heroism. Needless to say, that changed your preconceptions of superheroes. Not long later, Butcher found you and took you under his wing. You bonded over your desire to kill the so-called heroes that had taken someone from each of you.

Except, Butcher was so determined to kill Homelander after what happened to Becca with Ryan that your need for revenge had been set on that back burner. And now here Soldier Boy was, offering you the only thing you really, really wanted. All you had to do was bet your dignity.

Could be worse, right?

“You in?” Soldier Boy asked, bringing you out of your thoughts and back to the moment. He was already grinning, like he knew your answer.

You returned to where you had been sitting across from him previously and smothered any last doubts you had. “Yeah,” you replied curtly.

That cocky smile of his only grew—it was probably the happiest you’d seen the man. He had a nice smile, but you knew his joy was because of your weakness.

You had to win, even if it was only to watch him lose and wipe that stupidly dazzling smile off his stupidly good looking face.

You didn’t trust him to shuffle, so you did. The stakes were high and you could already see the bulge in his boxers when he stood and scooted his chair closer. He was eager and ready to play—and more. You didn’t want to give him the chance to rig the game. You made an effort to avert your eyes as you dealt the cards out.

The cards in your hand weren’t the best, but they were good enough. Hopefully.

Maybe he wouldn’t be thinking with his upstairs brain, he already seemed incredibly impatient, which could work in your favor. Although, that didn’t seem likely since there was no chance either of you would fold. You pushed all the inner back-and-forth thoughts out of your head and tried to focus on the game. You put on your poker face and just hoped he had a worse hand.

You didn’t say much as you played. Neither did he. You avoided eye contact while he threw you a few looks here and there. There was an intensity to the game that hadn’t been there before. Probably because both of you had a good reason to win. At least, a self perceived good reason on Soldier Boy’s part. You thought yours was much more valid.

The game neared the end and it was time to show.

The moment of truth.

“Two pair,” you said, showing the cards that you had.

Soldier Boy let out a breath, which made you wonder if he had been holding one in. That wasn’t a good sign. He laid down his cards. “Full house,” he revealed.

Well fuck. You lost.

“Damn,” you muttered, but it overlapped with his voice.

“Oh fuck yes.” He sounded a little bit too enthused for your liking. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Take it as a compliment, sweetheart,” he commented smugly. “And don’t be a sore loser.”

“You sure got over Countess quick,” you mentioned in an off-handed tone just to mess with his head a little. “I thought you were still into her.”

He scoffed. “She was a bitch.”

“You called me a bitch earlier,” you pointed out.

“I call everyone a bitch.”

“You’re fucking confusing.”

“And you’re hot. I bet you’re a good fuck,” he countered with lascivious tone.

“You’re gross.” You were somehow still taken aback by his crassness even though you should’ve been used to it by now.

“What, you want me to tell you I’m into you?” He said it like it was offensive. “Like actually? Fine, I am. Big fucking deal,” he dismissed. “Now I won, get your ass over here. I’m not gonna fall for whatever mind games you’re playing.”

You could’ve told him no. You should’ve told him no right away. But damn, you couldn’t help but wonder. You couldn’t deny that Soldier Boy was attractive and from the view you got when he stood, you knew he was… large. Yeah, you should be saying no. What were you thinking?

Well, you were thinking you perhaps you did want to fuck him.

That was the truth even though it shouldn’t have been. You admitted that to yourself.

So, keeping with your end of the deal (because you planned to use the bet to justify all future actions to yourself), you stood from your chair. Soldier Boy was running his hands over his thighs when you moved towards him. He just couldn’t wait to touch you. He could hardly contain his excitement.

He pushed back from the table to make room. When you were within reach, his large, firm hands grabbed at you. Soldier Boy pulled you into his lap with a chuckle.

“Hi there,” you greeted in a sarcastic tone when you came face to face with him.

“Hey, darling,” he replied smoothly. Soldier Boy leaned in to kiss you, but you turned your head slightly. You weren’t sure why, you just did it. He scoffed a little, seemingly disappointed. “What—you’re not gonna let me kiss you?”

You eyed him curiously. “Why is that something you want?”

He shrugged a little. “I’m old fashioned.” He leaned in again and you didn’t turn away. “And it wasn’t a lie when I said I liked you,” he admitted under his breath before capturing your lips.

For a guy that hadn’t been in action for a few decades, Soldier Boy was a surprisingly good kisser. His lips were soft and plump, and moved expertly against yours.

When he pulled away, you were left slightly breathless. That seemed to fuel his ego because when he looked at you, a smirk appeared on his lips.

“Maybe we can both be winners,” Soldier Boy decided smugly. You became aware of his hand creeping along your hip. His fingers grazed your skin and then his hand made its way into the front of your underwear.

A spark of pleasure and even excitement shot through you when his thick fingers found what they were looking for.

Soldier Boy let out a deep, content hum when he brushed against your folds. You were already getting wet for him due to anticipation. He pressed one finger into your entrance and you bit back a gasp. Your body welcomed him, which made him chuckle.

You were waiting for some snarky comment, but at the moment he didn’t have one. Soldier Boy was far too focused on getting you ready for him to think of something. He rocked his hips, grinding his hard cock against your thigh as he pushed another finger into you. He moved them expertly, it should’ve been surprising how much care he was taking to elicit pleasure from you. However, you were far too distracted by the feeling of his thick fingers thrusting and curling inside of you to analyze him.

His thumb found your clit and you moaned, writing in his lap. Soldier Boy watched you, lips slightly parted, breaths heavy. His cock was achingly hard—you could feel it against you.

You felt a familiar knot in your belly form due to his motions.

“That’s it,” he said heatedly, feeling your walls begin to tighten around him. “You feel so fucking good. Can’t wait to be inside of you. Want you to come on my fingers first, though.”

His voice did something to you. You shouldn’t have liked it so much, but it was deep and rich and fuck, it was hot. As your eyes scanned his lust blown face, you saw something else. You couldn’t quite place it.

Your body tensed and as he perfectly moved his thumb and fingers in sync, you knew he was going to get what you wanted.

You fell against him when you started to quiver, the pleasure becoming all-consuming. Soldier Boy welcomed you against his firm body.

“For a girl that hates me you’re squeezing my fingers real fucking tight,” he grunted out against your ear.

Barely another second passed before your orgasm crashed over you in a wave. You pressed your lips together to conceal a dizzy moan, but it broke free.

You rode through the aftershocks on his fingers, catching your breath with your head on his shoulder.

When you finally came to your senses, his words rang in your head. “I don’t hate you,” you clarified in a murmur.

You sat up in his lap, head hazy with pleasure and trying to catch your breath, as he withdrew his hand from your underwear. Soldier Boy stared at you, scanning your face with an odd desperation you finally recognized. You meant it and he realized that.

You were yanked from your pleasured daze when his large hands gripped under your thighs.. In a swift motion, Soldier Boy lifted you. He stood as well and suddenly, you were lying with your back on the table, staring up at his lust blown emerald eyes.

His hands flew across your body, ridding you of your last pieces of clothing. Once you were exposed beneath him, Soldier Boy rid himself of his own clothes.

The two of you were completely naked, eyes scanning over each other's bodies. He pulled you to the end of the table and positioned himself between your legs.

Everything moved in an adrenaline filled blur.

There was very little time to prepare yourself as he planted a hand near your head and used the other to grab his cock. You briefly felt him line himself up to your entrance. Then, he was pushing into you. A gasping moan that surprised you both slipped from your lips as he filled you.

You had gotten a glimpse and knew he was big, but that had done nothing to prepare you for the stretch of his thick cock inside of you. There was a twinge of pain laced with the pleasure and it made you quiver around him.

A deep groan came from above. His eyes had fluttered shut. His hand slapped to grab your waist. His fingers flexed and dug into your skin.

“Fuck,” Soldier Boy cursed under his breath.

His cock throbbed inside of you and you could tell he needed a moment. You had to give him credit for maintaining some level of self control given how long it had been for him.

Except, you were getting impatient. In a bold move, you wrapped your legs around his waist encouragingly. Then, you raised your arms to grasp his face in your hands. You pulled him down into a passionate kiss, which he gladly responded to. He pulled back his hips a little, then thrust forward. You gasped against him and he smiled.

He straightened then, moving both hands to your hips. You braced yourself as he withdrew again, fully this time, then shoved forward.

It took a few experimental thrusts before he set a pace, but when he did you could do nothing but lay there and take everything he gave you.

You weren’t sure what you previously thought fucking him would be like, but damn it was good.

Soldier Boy knew what he was doing. He pounded into you hard and fast, forcing pleasure through your body. He was panting above you, then leaning down to press sloppy kisses to your body. His beard scratched against your skin, but you didn’t care. All you could focus on was his cock filling you.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Soldier Boy cursed and muttered the praise. His husky voice cascaded over you. You didn’t reply, but he seemed pleased with the fact that you couldn’t. You were doing everything in your power to not let out embarrassingly loud noises.

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, along with panting breaths from you both.

He brought his hand down and pressed his thumb against your clit. Soldier Boy flicked his eyes up to you, watching your face contort in further ecstasy.

He was fervorous, putting everything he had into fucking you. It was going to be quick, he couldn’t hold back much longer,, but he wanted you to come with him.

He kept up his motions, pounding into you, filling you over and over again.

You grasped at his back suddenly, digging your nails in as your body tensed and the knot in your belly exploded. Soldier Boy groaned loudly as your body tensed and shivered around him. You couldn't hold back your moan that time.

That sent him spiraling into his own release.

One, two, three—Soldier Boy slammed into you a final time. You felt his cock twitch. He shuttered above you. Then, he was spilling inside of you. You should’ve stopped him, but you wanted to feel him fill you up.

Soldier Boy let out a heavy exhale and practically collapsed on top of you. He nestled his head into your neck, nose brushing against your ear. The feel of his cock stuffing you full, his come dripping down your thigh, and the weight of his body was all consuming. You couldn’t deny that you loved the feeling.

You ran your hands across his muscular back, listening to his heavy breathing in your ear and his heart pounding from the exertion.

There were no words spoken between you two for several moments as you each caught your breath.

“I’ll take him out,” Soldier Boy muttered into your neck, catching you off guard. It took you a second to register his words, but when you did, you turned your head to look at him. Just in tandem with him to lift himself to hover over you. He planted his hands steady to hold himself up. Your noses were only a few inches apart and you could feel light puffs of breath coming from him against your face.

“What?” you couldn’t help but ask, stunned and wanting to be sure you heard him right.

“That supe you hate,” he clarified. “I’ll kill him for you.” Soldier Boy raised his hand and brushed a few strands of hair back from your face. “If that’s what you want.”

You swallowed. “Yeah,” you told him, nodding slightly. “I want you to.”

“Alright then,” he confirmed with uncharacteristically tranquil demeanor. Seeing a gentle, oddly caring smile instead of a sleazy smirk on his face threw you off.

You thought Soldier Boy was going to lean down to kiss you—he looked like he wanted to—but something caught his attention. He lifted his head towards the door.

That’s when you heard it. The door knob rattled..

A devious grin crossed Soldier Boy’s face. It suited him better than the previous expression.

“Oh shit,” you cursed, knowing what was about to happen and that you couldn’t prevent it.

You turned your head towards the door, just in time to see Butcher and Hughie walking back in.

#quin-ns writing #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy #the boys #the boys season 3 #jensen ackles #the boys x reader #soldier boy smut #the boys smut #jensen ackles x reader

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divinemanicstate · 8 months

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pretty boy showdown in downtown texas

#are they gonna kiss or fight? i dont know man but i want them to fight while covered in oil #tcm game #texas chainsaw massacre game #texas chainsaw massacre #tcm #leland mckinney #johnny slaughter

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republicansaredomesticterrorists · 3 months

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In 1832 Andrew Jackson stomped out the “nullification theory” when South Carolina declared federal law “null and void” and threatened to secede.

Historical figures are multi-faceted and led complex public and private lives. While justly regarded as a monster for what he did to Native Americans he also prevented a potential civil war and kept the union together. However one action does not necessarily balance the scales. History and politics is not black and white and will always remain shades of grey.

Governor Abbott is a political showman keeping the redneck fantasy of Tex-ass secession alive. They tell the Tex-ass MAGAts that Texas-ass is the only state not connected to the power grid because someday they might secede again. Truth is they keep it separate because Tex-ass RepubliKKKlans and their top 1% masters are all major shareholders in the ERCOT grid and make millions from price gouging their own constituents.

The border is something the RepubliKKKlans revisit every election year. They stir up the uneducated and misinformed base with racist and xenophobic nativist talk of an invasion and then when the election is over they do little or nothing about it.

Two years ago Republican operatives were detained in Brazil and questioned about their role in organizing migrant convoys and sending them to the U.S. southern border to make the Dems look bad. We all know they do this but the tv news won’t cover it. The far-right always gets a free pass by tv news. If you want real news about politics you have to go to respected print media and their associated websites for the whole story.

Greg Abbott will continue to human traffick migrants across the country and kill them at the border. US law supersedes state laws and he has no business messing with immigration. He’s trying to provoke a showdown with Biden so he can claim Joe is a dictator and rally the deplorable base. Biden is commander-in-chief of the Texas National Guard and could have the Defense Department order them to stand down but that would be risky politically so instead he keeps beating Abbott in court. Even if Biden ordered the Texas National Guard to stand down, Texas has a large state militia called the Texas State Guard that only answers to the governor and is not connected to the federal government. Abbott could always order those yahoos to commit atrocities against migrants and block federal agents. It’s all about creating a certain false perception of Dems appearing to want open borders.

Tex-ass once had a thriving economy that contributed to the federal government. However in the past 20 years Republicans have held power there and driven the state into the ground. Economically and socially it is now bordering on being a failed 3rd world state where oligarchs and gunslinging nativist white supremacists run amok. Tex-ass like most other red states is now a welfare state taking more from the federal government than it turns in. A handful of blue economic powerhouse states in the northeast and on the west coast now support nearly the entire nation. We pay high taxes that go to support Confederate states and the oligarchs that get perpetual kickbacks there.

#republican assholes #Greg Abbott murderer #Tex-ass secession #nullification is unconstitutional #Greg Abbott human trafficker #Tex-as republicans

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eraserdude6226 · 3 months

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Good advice in 1775 and good advice in 2024!!

#lgb #fjb #the southern border is an invasion #southernborder #southern border #texas rangers #houston texas #el paso texas #harris county texas #texas

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milesluna · 4 months

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My Favorite Games of 2023.

Hi. Hello. Thanks ever so much for clicking on this page. Happy to have you.

First thing's first: I'm a little freak when it comes to video games. I don't feel the need to beat most games I play. From Software is one of my favorite studios in the industry and I've never finished a single one of their games. This means, fortunately, that I get to play a LOT more games than the average bear.

I've written up some blurbs about my top ten favorite games from 2023, but before that here's the list of every game I remember playing this year that left any sort of lasting impact on me (in no particular order):

Dead Space Remake Resident Evil 4 Remake F-Zero 99 Humanity Dredge Metroid Prime Remastered Anemoiaplois Alan Wake 2 Baldur’s Gate 3 LoZ Tears of the Kingdom Counter Strike 2 Hunt Showdown El Paso Elsewhere Jusant Slay the Princess| Remnant II The Finals Street FIghter 6 Lethal Company BattleBit Remastered Don’t Scream Homebody The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Tower World of Horror Super Mario Wonder Mr. Sun’s Hatbox Fifa 23 Sea of Stars (Demo) Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update)

And the games I played that were NOT released in 2023:

Unpacking Persona 4 Golden Picross 7 The Order 1886 Shovel Knight Dig Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Spider-Man: Miles Morales Pac-Man Championship Edition DX Project Zomboid Quake LoZ The Minish Cap Drill Dozer Wario Land 4 Pokemon Pinball Resident Evil Revelations Summer of ‘58 Trackmania TwinCop We Were Here Visage Cursed Halo CE Half-Life 2 (I probably play this once per year) Witch Hunt Red Dead Redemption 2 Cyberpunk 2077 Borderlands 3 Brutal Legend Cultic Slay the Spire PUBG Rez Infinite Batman Arkham City Alan Wake Alan Wake: American Nightmare Max Payne LoZ: Majora’s Mask 3DS Metroid Prime Metroid Prime 2 Tunic Everhood Final Fantasy VII Final Fantasy VII Remake GOODBYE WORLD Yakuza: Like a Dragon Critters for Sale Dome Keeper Phasmophobia Hades Nintendo Switch Sports

Now that you understand the kind of freak you're dealing with…

Let's dive into my top ten favorite games from this objectively fucked up year.

10. El Paso Elsewhere Developed by Texas indie studio Strange Scaffold, El Paso Elsewhere is a Max Payne-clone with vampires, an opinionated narrator, and lots and lots of bullet time. As a small studio punching well above their weight class, Strange Scaffold leans into abstract, PlayStation 1 minimalism when it comes to visuals and pairs them with a soundtrack that will make your hands sweat. The vibes are here and they're ready for the end of the world. I'm personally also a big fan of everything this studio stands for.

9. Mr. Sun's Hatbox I want you to imagine Metal Gear Solid V. Now I want you to imagine that game as a 2D, level-based, slapstick platformer you can play with up to three friends. If you think that sounds stupid, you'd be right. And it's beautiful. As you build up a secret army of soldiers with various skills (and disorders), you'll start to develop *favorites*. This game constantly asks if you're willing to send those favorites on a harrowing mission and risk losing them forever… or if you'd rather send an idiot you recently captured who blinks constantly and can't kill anyone without fainting.

8. Dredge Every year I feel like I find one game that falls into the “just one more round” category, and baby… Dredge was it for 2023. As a weary fisherman in strange waters, you'll make the most out of your 12 measly hours of sunlight only for your daily voyages to inevitably pull you into the darkness of night, and night is when things get weird. Rocks emerge from the fog that you swear weren't there before, your equipment malfunctions, and you're pretty sure you just saw something in the water… something big. Despite only containing a small collection of islands, the world of Dredge manages to feel vast - perhaps vast enough to swallow you whole.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake I was curious to see what sort of changes would be made to the timeless classic and father of modern 3rd person shooters, Resident Evil 4. I wasn't let down. RE4 Remake takes all the things that didn't age well about the original, tossed them out, and replaced them with only good things. And MORE things! It's campy, fun, and better than a game of bingo.

6. Jusant I really feel like this one didn't get the recognition it deserves. Jusant is a rock climbing game that combines the quiet contemplation of Journey with the mechanical specificity of Death Stranding. Unlike Death Standing, though, there is very little story to interrupt your flow. There are plenty of collectible bits to find for those curious to learn more about what happened before the events of the game, but the environmental storytelling does most of the heavy lifting. For me, the joy of the game comes from how it feels. Right trigger controls your right hand grip, and left trigger controls left hand grip. Plan your route, manage your stamina, and climb high above the clouds in search of answers.

5. F-Zero 99 This. Shit. Slaps. I've never been a big F-Zero guy, but this MADE me one. The “battle royale”, 99 player format is the perfect fit for the ruthless, high octane world of the game. Races last about three minutes, and friend, they are the most intense, white-knuckled three minutes of your life. The decision to make your boost meter the same as your health meter started in F-Zero 64 (I believe), and it is so much more HARROWING in this game when another player could side-swipe you mere meters from the finish line and blow you to bits. Sadly it's only playable via Switch Online, but it made me cheer, laugh, and scream enough this year to earn a spot in my top 5.

4. Alan Wake 2 Remedy makes weird games that also manage to exist in the AAA space and for that I will forever love them. Although Alan Wake 2 resembles a 3rd person shooter survival horror, I'd honestly say it's more of a narrative game than anything else. There's sidequests, there's puzzles, there's upgradeable skills, but at the end of the day the characters, world, and story are what kept me playing. If you haven't checked them out recently, you should definitely watch a story recap of the original games before diving into this sequel, but the wild swings for the fences this game takes are well worth that small price of admission. There's a god damn musical number, for Christ's sake.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom I've really got nothing to say about this game that most people don't already know. It's incredible. The fact that Nintendo made a game that redefined an entire genre and then made a SEQUEL to it that ups the ante is remarkable. To be honest, I've only cleared the Rito, Zora, and Goron cities. I got a bit tired of exploring the depths and guiding Koroks to their friends, but I can't deny the sheer level of complexity and polish on display here. I saw someone on TikTok build a functioning Mecha Godzilla in this game. Good God. I've heard that the ending of this game is one of the best in the franchise, and if I'd seen it this year then it may have wound up higher on my list, but for the time being I'll continue picking up this masterpiece from time to time, chipping away at it until the day comes that I can finally smack the tits off thicc Ganondorf.

2. Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update) I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I don't care. This year was the 25th anniversary of Half-Life and Valve released an update that made playing it (and it's online Death Match) much more accessible. I threw it on my Steam Deck out of curiosity, expecting to play for 20 minutes. I could not put it down. It is unbelievable how modern this game still feels. I simply had so much fun sprinting through the corridors of Black Mesa with a dozen weapons strapped to my back, blasting aliens and military Spec-Op chumps as a 24(?!) year old theoretical physicist.

1. Baldur's Gate III This game is fucked up, man. The sheer amount of writing in this game scares me. We can all talk about how BIG this game is, it deserves it, but the thing BG3 does better than any other role playing game I have ever experienced is actually encourage roleplaying. I've played through Act I four times now, with four different groups of friends, and it has felt fresh every time. I have seen the same events play out in so many different ways that it boggles the mind, but in every one of those play sessions I see players asking themselves “What would my lil guy do here?” rather than "what is the best thing to do here?" The game rewards players constantly for just trying shit and the D&D 5e rule set means playing like the character you said you were from the start leads to frequent Points of Inspiration. Maybe one day I'll see the end of this story (probably not), but I don't have to in order to feel a connection with BG3's world, characters, and most impressively, the characters I made myself.

Honorable Mentions for 2023

5. Dave the Diver 4. Homebody 3. Sea of Stars 2. Humanity 1. Super Mario Wonder

Top 5 Favorites NOT from 2023

5. Metroid Prime 4. Final Fantasy VII Remake 3. Cursed Halo (Halo CE Mod) 2. Red Dead Redemption 2 1. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (3DS)

Games I didn't have a chance to play from 2023 but still want to when I find more time...

Viewfinder Venba Chants of Sennaar Thirsty Suitors Hi-Fi Rush Moonring Armored Core VI Laika Aged Through Blood Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

OKAY THANKS BYE!

#video games #2023 #GOTY

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vineofroses · 2 months

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Since I was only lurking around these parts when Season 4 was airing, I haven't shared my 🤡 theory about Season 5 yet.

And that is that Gabriel has faked his death. yep, mhmm, you heard it here first. Gabriel was shot and was about to die, but miraculously he survived. However, before the doctors could tell Andrea and Carlos of his survival, they were intercepted by the highest person in the Texas Rangers, who forced them to lie to Carlos and Andrea. then, they concocted a plan to fake Gabriel's death because there is no better opportunity to finally uncover corruption of the highest degree. Their guards will be down, and now Gabriel can make his move ... after a couple months of rehabilitation.

But to keep Carlos and Andrea safe, and Carlos' sisters, he stays hidden, working in the shadows.

At some point in Season 5, Carlos starts receiving anonymous messages, clues about the corruption that Gabriel can't make a move on because he's a ghost in every sense of the word but blood still pumps through his veins.

The arc ends with Carlos and Gabriel meeting again during the final showdown, where it looks like all is lost -- perhaps TK is bleeding out somewhere -- and then Gabriel emerges from the shadows. Surprise, motherfuckers. And shoots his killer dead.

Carlos resigns from the force because this whole thing was bullshit. A few months later he opens a personal training gym.

#911 lone star #gabriel reyes #carlos reyes #clown theories

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yourlocalcryingcryptid · 1 year

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A MASH UP SO RANDOM IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING ITS TUMBLRS SEXY SLASHER SHOWDOWN

#this is definitely a different demographic #tumblrs sexy slasher showdown #drayton sawyer #jennifer check #drayton sawyer x reader #jennifer check x reader #tcm #jennifers body #jennifer check smut #drayton sawyer smut #jennifer x needy #the texas chainsaw massacre #Jennifers body 2009 #tcm 2 #megan fox #megan fox x reader

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fullofsunsetwhispers · 1 year

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I've been taking screencaps and when I saw Omi hugging old Bessie like that I remembered there is a meme, which would suit that scene perfectly.

#xiaolin showdown #omi #old bessie #bessie bailey #big as texas #xs meme #meme #my edits #meh that was a lazy one. but what matters is - that screen and meme are almost the same #next year maybe i'll even draw it but idk #I stan omi and Bessie's friendship. even tho it lasted only 1 ep.

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masterhallmark · 5 months

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Why don't you try Xiaolin Showdown we got:

Bald egotistical child

That bad boy who keeps betraying his friends only to regret it

TEXAS 2000

That girl with thousands of outfits

That nerdy kid who tries to be edgy so everyone will think he's cool

Ghosty lady who becomes evidence the character designers are lonely

The dumbest looking mob boss of all time

Sexy man who is secretly a scaley

And ...

THE MOST MISSED TOY MARKETING OPPORTUNITY OF ALL TIME

#chase young xiaolin showdown #Xiaolin Showdown #omi #raimundo #clay #jack spicer #wuya #chase young #pandabubba #there was a ten image limit for the post #kimiko #shen gong wu #sheng gong wu

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gravity-what · 3 months

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New Heylin Omi AU story is up!! This time a re-write of Big as Texas~

One thing I like about this AU focusing mostly on Chase is that is gives me the opportunity to explore a lot more of the adults in the show. Especially here. it was a real treat to be able to explore Clay’s parents!

#xiaolin showdown #chase young #Heylin Omi AU #clay bailey #daddy Bailey #mama Bailey

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cerastes · 1 year

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What are your thoughts of a possible Arknights event where you get to strategize against your own operators?

Like how W was a boss first but became an Operator, but it's you going against waves of Rhodes Island Reserve Ops (the no names) and occasionally Amiya or Texas or Kal'tsit + Mon3tr show up as the bosses.

I've thought about this, whether that be some sort of endgame "Doctor vs. Doctor" scenario or some what if event (something like PRTS replicating a perfect facsimile of pre-amnesia Doctor, or a battle-inside-the-mind existential showdown kind of deal, etc, plenty of ways one could provide context for this). Vigilo specifically made me think about this a lot, and I keep revisiting the concept in my brain palace now and then.

Regardless of how we get there, I'd love to see it. Personally, I'd lean into the vs. Pre-amnesia Doctor angle. Enemies would never really be referred to by name specifically, but gameplay and sprites would make it obvious, or at least indicative, as to who they are. Every enemy unit would have some sort of fuzzy mosaic effect covering their face.

Mooks would be Reserve Ops and the sort of RI/Babel Operator we see in cutscenes, the good ol' generics. Given how much Pre-Amnesia Doctor has been likened to a machine-like chessmaster, I think chess terminology would be fitting, although it needn't be used exclusively, especially for whenever it would be thematically appropriate not to use it. Generic footsoliders would be "Pawns", for example, and would very clearly be wearing Rhodes Island uniforms and colors (blue and black colors, mix of tactical gear and urban clothing). You'd have other more advanced units like snipers (Bishops), specialists (Knights), and hard-hitting, beefier units (Rooks).

There would be plenty of boss/midboss units, and their "tooltip" (the little pop up that appears mid-stage when a new units is introduced) would be entirely narrative. For example, you'd have:

'Ever-Marching Bulwark' - "The giant that carried the world if ordered to. No matter how grim the situation, he would always find a way to dispel the miasma." -> Ace. Effect: [Bulwark]: Ranged units will prioritize him if he's in range. Requires 2 Block to block. [Castled King]*: High HP, DEF and RES; Physical damage will raise his DEF, but decrease his RES. Arts damage will raise his RES, but decrease his DEF. *"Castling" is a chess technique used to protect the King.

'Unsung Champion' - "The hero killed and loved silently, like the shadow of a dear ghost. He could spot weakness in enemies as easily as virtue in friends." -> Scout. Effect: [Gaze of the Wraith]: Uses Ranged Physical attacks with no limit on range. Every 4 attacks, the next attack will target the unit with less DEF on the map. The amount of attacks needed to trigger this special ability decreases by 1 each time it is activated, also increasing damage dealt. Resets upon changing targets. [J'adoube]*: This enemy's route is determined by the number of allied units (the player's units) in its path. Unsung Champion will warp to the route with less units overall (melee and ranged) between it and the Defense Point (practically speaking, it checks every couple of seconds and warps to a tile equivalent to how much progress he's made). *"J'adoube" ("I knight"), or "adjust", is a special call in chess where you are letting your opponent know you're about to move a piece in the board, usually to center it on its square or if it gets otherwise displaced accidentally.

'Selfless Sage' - "Some could call her nosy, some could call her foolish, but the undeniable truth is that even if it dims her own fire, she'll fill this world with as much light as she can." -> Kal'tsit. Effect: [Selflessness & Spite]: Heals enemies at long range. Prioritizes 'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut', then 'King's Pupa', then 'The King', then Leaders, and finally regular enemies. [Remorse & Rebirth]: Upon reaching 50% HP or if all active Leaders are defeated, spawns 'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut'.

Making a cut here due to post length.

'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut' - "A force of nature as unstoppable as it is unexplainable, not dissimilar to the Sage herself." - Mon3tr. Effect: [Meltdown]: The Juggernaut's Ranged attacks deal True Damage in a line, piercing through the targeted ally and hitting those behind them, leaving a damage over time effect for a few seconds. The Juggernaut's Melee attacks deal high Physical damage. After being hit a number of times (10), the Juggernaut's next attack will deal increased True damage and afflict the target with a longer damage over time effect that stacks. [Fallout]: Enemies defeated by True damage instances of the Juggernaut have increased redeployment time.

'Scholar's Mate'* - "Unusually durable and tenacious pieces. They can be reused, over and over. Useful in disrupting enemy tactics." -> W (Ranged Physical), Ines (Ranged Arts), and Hoederer (Melee Physical). They spawn at the same time. [Kriegspiel]**: All 'Scholar's Mate' must be defeated roughly at the same time, otherwise, they revive at 50% HP after a delay. [Queen's Gambit]*: The red-horned 'Scholar's Mate' plants bombs on three units in range, detonating after 3 seconds. Units defeated by this attack or an attack shortly after [Queen's Gambit] have increased redeployment time. [En Passant]*: The black-horned 'Scholar's Mate' presence in the battlefield slows down DP generation by 50%. Cannot be blocked, but moves slowly. [Albin Countergambit]*: The male 'Scholar's Mate' presence in the battlefield reduces SP Recovery rate by 30%. Attacks halt target's SP recovery momentarily, and don't reward SP to "Defensive" type Skills. *Various chess moves. **'Kriegspiel' is also known as "blind chess", in which two players play against each other 'blind', that is, they can't see the opponent's pieces. For this purpose, a third person, an umpire, is necessary to oversee the game.

'The King' - "The embodiment of tomorrow, incarnation of our hopes, and our dearest friend." - Theresa. Effect: [Noblesse Oblige]: Raises the ATK and DEF of every enemy in the field. Effect increased for Leaders. [Civilight Eterna]: Swings sword in a circular area around herself, dealing high True damage and reducing Max HP and DEF of allies hit. Leaves a [Regal Pulsation] behind on each use. [Regal Pulsation]: Every time 'The King' uses [Civilight Eterna], [Regal Pulsations] activate and replicate [Civilight Eterna] wherever they are. Can stack on top of each other. [Dead Position]*: 'The King' pours powerful Sarkaz Arts into the closest Ranged tile to her position, inundating it with dangerous Arts and rendering the tile unusable for the rest of the map. Immediately retreats the unit standing on the tile, and starts spilling onto other tiles. If there's Operators standing on these tiles, the spread is halted and they receive Arts damage continuously. If there's no Operator in the tile, after a few seconds, [Dead Position] spills over and makes that tile unusable. Can spill to Melee tiles. All [Dead Positions] vanish and become reusable if 'The King' is defeated. *A "dead position" is a position where neither player can mate the opponent’s king with any series of legal moves. Effectively a draw.

'King's Pupa' - "With time, she, too, can be a king." -> Amiya. Effect: [Chimera]: 'King's Pupa' slowly charges SP over time. Receives SP each time an enemy is defeated and each time an ally is defeated. Once SP is full, activates [Pawn Ascension]. [Pawn Ascension]*: 'King's Pupa' turns into another 'The King'. Avoid this at all costs. *Pawn ascension or pawn promotion is when your pawn reaches the other side of the board in chess and you can promote it into another piece, such as a rook, bishop, etc. Most players, of course, promote their pawns into queens.

'[NULL]' - "[CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. CLEARANCE IS INSUFFICIENT TO ACCESS THESE FILES. IN CASE OF ANY ERROR OR QUESTIONS, CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR]" -> Doctor. Effect: [Resign]: '[NULL]' only appears after every other enemy has been defeated. No attacks, slowly trudges forward. They must be defeated to put an end to this. It was a good game.

I really would like to see the idea, the concept, of the current Doctor quite literally having a showdown with their past, current tactics vs past tactics, current ideals vs past ideals, to prove that today's idealism isn't mere bluster, that one needn't rely on sacrifice to get to the finish line, that we can all get there, we simply need to find a way, because it'd be not only a showdown of morality and to prove one's growth, it'd also entail having to defeat the shadows, plural, of the past, regrets, joys, all of it. Uproot the old, and change for the better, even if it means having to say one final farewell to beloved friends. Even if it means testing yourself against yourself, and them. It's because you would test yourself against yourself that it means something, after all.

#arknights #vicsep7250

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