#TO READ BULLSHIT FROM SO CALLED CHARLES FANS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

holllandtrash · 8 months

Note

the latest mclaren vid revealing lando snores feels like import 6n1 lore lol

you have singlehanded me gotten me to return to 6 to 1, well you and that video

1.7k | 6 to 1 blurb

"Who's most likely to lock themselves out of their home?"

You saw the hesitation as Lando nearly lifted Oscar's name up, only to catch your eye from where you stood behind the camera. A simple raise of the eyebrow from you and Lando raised his own name instead, matching Oscar's answer that declared Lando the one who would be the one locked out.

"Has it happened before?" Oscar asked, also catching your smirk. He knew you'd have a good story, but you weren't the one in front of the camera. And the only reason you were allowed to accompany Lando to this shoot was because you agreed you'd stay quiet.

Lando shrugged, the king of understating, "Like once, but it wasn't my fault."

Oscar looked towards you for confirmation and you shook your head, mouthing the words 'three times'.

Lando sat up straighter and pointed a finger at you, "You're not allowed to talk. That was the condition!" He turned to look at the members of the content team, "She's not allowed to talk."

"She didn't say anything," Oscar pointed out, chuckling to himself as he turned to the next question. "Who's most likely to get a pet?"

"100% you," Lando raised up Oscar's name, only to then raise his own a second later. "But who wants a pet? Me."

"So get a pet," His teammate had such a simple solution, but when he saw the way Lando looked at you once more, he nodded. "You're not allowed a pet are you?"

Lando sighed, the most dramatic sigh he could muster up because he knew it would make for good content, and maybe part of him was curious to see if you would actually say something.

"Unfortunately I don't wear the pants at home," Lando muttered, eyes widening for a second when boyfriend mode kicked in and he realized what he said could lead to you being attacked on twitter. "No I'm only kidding, it's not fair to get a pet right now. I travel so much, so does my girlfriend. Can't fit it in our schedules."

Lando's go-to when referring to you was always 'my girlfriend'. Despite it being no secret you were dating, he rarely called you by your name in the media. He didn't do it for the sake of his fans, he did it because he knew how much it irritated Charles, even to this day, that you were dating. Charles was as supportive as he could be. He trusted Lando sure but something about hearing another driver call his sister their girlfriend annoyed him till no end.

Oscar read the next question, "Who's most likely to snore?" Instantly, Lando's name shot up in his hand.

Lando didn't look at either you, heat creeping up to his cheeks as he tried to play it off like Oscar was lying by raising the other name, "I don't snore, mate."

"C'est des foutaises," you muttered under your breath. That's bullshit.

Oscar's head snapped towards you, as did Lando's, but their expressions were the opposite. Oscar was beaming, recognizing a bit of French slang here and there and foutaises being one of them. Lando's face dropped to a scowl.

"There seems to be some disagreement coming from the audience," Oscar pointed out. "Lando are you lying? Do you snore?"

"I don't-" he glared at you and then looked at Oscar, "I don't snore. I just breathe loudly."

You just couldn't bite your tongue at that response, "You snore, Lando. I had to buy earplugs. Don't lie to the viewers."

Oscar doubled over laughing, enjoying the call out. He believed you, of course he did. You were the only one who spent nights with Lando. You were the only person to believe. Lando didn't know what the hell went on when he was dead asleep.

Lando used the name cards to point at you, "You're actually not allowed to talk. One more word out of you and you will be escorted out."

It was an empty threat. The cheeky little smirk on his face told you that he loved having you here. It was rare you joined him for the behind the scenes action, mostly sticking to making appearances in the garage.

Part of you knew that Lando only asked you to come because you said you were going to go hang out with Carlos in the Ferrari garage and while Lando trusted you and his best mate, he still didn't like sharing you if he didn't have to.

"Who's most likely to forget their best friends birthday?" Oscar asked, only to verbally remind everyone of the incident that undoubetly came to both yours and Lando's head. "Didn't you forget Y/N's birthday?"

"She's my girlfriend not my best friend."

Your jaw dropped at his answer. As did Oscar's. As did about everyone's in the room who was watching this video shoot. Lando's face turned beet red when he realized how big of a fuck up that reponse was.

He shifted in his chair, "No- wait I didn't mean that. She's my best friend.” He looked at you, leaning forward slightly and hand out in assurance, "You're my best friend. I love you I just mean like, Max is my best friend in that sense and I haven't forgotten his birthday."

"No but you did forget my birthday," you exclaimed, finding this situation humorous. Watching Lando dig his own grave was always entertaining.

"Not on your birthday, you're making it sound worse than it is."

"No it sounds pretty bad," Oscar chimed in. "You just said she wasn't your best friend and you're admitting to forgetting her birthday."

"I just got it mixed up!" Lando raised his voice, the pitch of his laughter was higher than normal as he tried to talk himself out of this mess he created. "Someone on the stream asked when her birthday was and I said January 18th when I meant to say January 8th. Honest mistake, could happen to anyone."

Lando shook his head, scared to make eye contact with you at this given moment as he moved onto the next question, "Who's most likely to laugh in a serious-" his own nervous laughter cut off the end of that perfectly timed question. "In a serious situation? Me, definitely me."

Oscar was having a field day next to him, unable to stop laughing as well. He could barely get out his own question, "Who- who's most likely to survive the longest in a horror movie?"

"I feel like I'm currently in one," Lando whispered, his gaze darting to you for a second. He mouthed the words 'i love you' and you rolled your eyes in response. It was playful, you weren't actually mad at him. Lando, sometimes, just didn't think before he spoke.

"i think she's going to kill you as soon as this is over so I'm going to go with me," Oscar said, raising his own name up as Lando reluctantly did the same.

"Who's most likely to cry while watching a sad movie?" Lando asked the next one and put Oscar's name up without hesitation, "I hardly ever cry. You can't say my name on this one."

Oscar raised his own card, looking at your for confirmation and you nodded, having found that out about Lando really early on into your relationship. He wore his heart on his sleeve, but rarely did he shed a tear. The same couldn't be said about you. A cold exterior compared to your boyfriends but Lando could list twenty movies off the top of his head that would have you crying by the halfway point.

"Who's most likely to be on a reality show?" Oscar asked, only to switch to Lando's name being held up. He raised it so fast that Lando was taken aback by his certainty.

"Me?" Lando asked. "Why's that?"

Oscar nodded his head towards you, "The two of you would be greatest reality show. You'll probably have your own episode of DTS next season, let's be real."

"Chaos follows us," Lando agreed with a shrug, sending a smile in your direction. "We are fun though."

"You know what would be fun to watch? Family dinners at the Leclerc household. Do they all speak French around you just to mess with you? I could see Charles doing that."

"He does," You and Lando answered at the same time and Oscar was once again in a fit of laughter.

There were only a few more questions that followed and you managed to stay quiet for the rest of them. When Lando finished up, he approached you with caution, a timid smile spread across his cheeks as he slowly reached for your hand while at a safe distance.

"You still love me?" He asked, hoped.

You glanced down at your connected fingers, unable to keep from rolling your eyes again as you started to head for the door, dragging Lando with you.

"Hey, hey," Lando pulled you back, right into his chest as his other arm went around your stomach. "You're my best friend. And I know your birthday. I promise. I'll get it tattooed on me, even, if you want."

"I don't care, Lando," you assured him, your voice was soft and comforting, letting him know that you really weren't all that annoyed with him. Just back to your playful ways.

You turned in his arms, taking in the boyish features and that god awful stubble that at this point you knew wasn't a battle you couldn't win.

But there was something you had on him.

"Il faut que j'aille trouver Charles," You said. I have to go find Charles.

The confusion on his face was priceless, "W-what?"

"Je te retrouverai plus tard, oui?" I'll catch up with you later, yeah?

"One more time?" Lando raised his eyebrow.

Instead of answering, you stood on your toes to give him a quick kiss as you slid out of his grasp. You were still smiling as you turned around but before you could leave the media room, you heard Oscar's laughter coming from the side and you could have sworn he muttered the words 'reality show' one more time.

just short and sweet bc i did love that most likely to video

#6 to 1 series #6 to 1 #lando x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris fic #ln4

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fanficwriter284 · 8 months

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fan i crave chucky angst >:)

Chucky Angst? I got you!

There he sat. His eyes wandering about, searching for anything to distract him. He regretted agreeing to this therapy session, which Tiffany had suggested a few weeks prior. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep he had been experiencing for the last couple weeks, his insomnia making him vulnerable to Tiffany’s constant prying. Whatever it was, he regretted it. That was a concrete fact. He was out of his comfort zone, sitting, facing forward, listening to an annoying ticking. Some machine that rested on the woman’s coffee table, continuously ticking, its small hand, rocking back and forth. He always resulted in fiddling with his coat whenever he grew uncomfortable or anxious, the fiddling always managed to soothe the nerves. However this time his attempt to relax himself failed as the therapists’ eye contact grew more intense, with each tick. Desperate to break the porcelain-like eye contact he shifted his vision to the device that continued to tick.

“Is something bothering you Charles”

“Chucky”

The woman raised a brow as she clicked her pen.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s Chucky not Charles”

She let out a faint grunt at his sudden correction, then followed his line of sight to the ticking tool.

“Is that bothering you”

“Yes, what even is the piece of shit called anyway? '' He mumbled, grabbing the ticker.

“That’s a metronome”

Chuck inspected it, clearly unamused by its agitating ticking.

“Do you know–”

“Yes I know what it’s used for…I just forgot the damn name…My dad and grandfather both had one of ‘em in their offices.”

The woman scribbled some form of writing down on her clipboard, and continued to watch Charles handle the tool. After a brief moment he set the metronome down on its side preventing it from ticking.

“I assume you want me to talk?”

“Well that is the reason you’re here isn’t it?”

Ray clapped his hands together, sinking further into his chair. Pressing his lips against his canines, feeling his ears begin to heat.

“...Truth is Doc I don’t wanna be here…but my wife already made me pay for this damn session…might as well put it to use…Where do you want me to start?”

“Wherever you want”

“Hmph…fine then…let’s go down the fucking rabbit hole”

…

1961

An 8 year old Charles Lee Loman Reinhardt, had barely begun arriving in the United States, leaving behind his homelife in Germany. In a new foreign land, full of new intimidating people that had towered over him. The young lad was not fond of his new home, surrounded by strangers who spoke so odd, in a tongue of gibberish. However his twin brother, Carolus Klaus Reinhardt, had felt nothing but glee upon arriving in the US. To him it was a land of adventure and freedom, or that’s what the pamphlet he had read on the plane informed him. Carolus had been a bright spirit, always joyful and fun loving, the definition of a true optimist, while Charles, was quiet, reserved, and distrustful. The two were forced to live in a town called Hackensack, New Jersey, though he name had been too difficult for young Charles to pronounce, resulting in the young lead defaulting to titling the town Ackensack. Carolus too joined in, in the renaming, finding it amusing despite being able to correctly pronounce it. The people in the town seemed nice for the most part, their smiles wide and toothful. Charles had attempted to reciprocate said smile only to have stunned expressions and faint whispers. He never did such a thing again.

…

Months had passed and the twins had grown used to living in Ackensack. Their parent’s finally had found jobs, and left the two 8 year-olds home alone, with nothing but cheese and crackers in the pantry. The two didn’t mind though. They rarely saw their mother, and as for their father, they had been somewhat relieved he had found work again...away from them.

…

“Is this really necessary Doc…This is fucking bullshit….”

“Why don’t we talk about how you met Tiffany then…hm?”

Charles scooted backwards into his seat, now fiddling with his finger.

“Fine”

…

1964

A now 11 year old Charles Lee Ray, had been sitting in the front of his class, his head faced down, only listening to the chaotic nature of his classroom. His twin had been put in a separate class, only intensifying the feeling of loneliness that had been bottled inside him. He didn’t care much for the students in his class, especially the other boy’s. Since any time he spoke, a loud laugh came from the crowd, or a mockery of his thick German accent. However, today was different. Someone new was entering his class. The news only brought a hint of interest and curiosity, only for it to fade as quick as it came.

“Class, I’d like you to meet our new student! Tiffany Valentine! I want you to make her feel welcomed and show her around! Oh Tiffany, take a seat. Anywhere you’d like!”

The young lad tilted his head upward, and examined the new girl. He studied her, noticing every fine detail. She was no doubt taller than him, due to her longer torso. The new girl had short legs, cute cupid lips in the shade of cherry blossom, her hazel eyes appearing to glow and smile, her long wavy chestnut hair, and a smile that had been infectious. Charles felt his pupils dilate at the sight of her, and his throat tightening as she seemingly waltzed towards him. He felt his body tense as she sat down beside him.

…

“Chucky, can you describe how you two became friends? You informed me that it hadn’t gone smoothly”

“.....alright”

…

Lunch had dismissed the kids from their classes, causing hoards of children to run to the lunch line and others to bolt off to the lunch tables. Charles meanwhile set off on his own like usual, having no money to purchase a lunch, and having none packed, leaving the lanky boy starved. He paid no mind to his growling stomach, and sat with his brother, enjoying his company after a long and stressful day.

“...I think that girl likes you Charles…she’s hasn’t taken her eyes off you”

“Du bist verrückt. Sie ist einfach das neue Mädchen ... Sie würde mich heute im Unterricht nicht allein lassen. "Wenn überhaupt, ist sie einfach einsam.”

(You're crazy. She's just the new girl...she wouldn't leave me alone in class today. If anything, she's just lonely.)

“Or maybe she wants to be your friend”

“I don’t need friends Caro” The young boy replied agitated at his brother’s comments.

“Well she’s walking over here”

“WHAT”

Charles whipped his head around to confirm that his twin hadn’t been lying, gulping at the sight of the new girl walking up to him giving a shy wave, carrying around a relatively large book.

“Is it okay if I sit with you two”

The young brunette had been met with two extremely different facial expressions, despite coming from identical faces. It was rather off putting from how similar yet different the two were.

“Why are you following me?” He pressed leaning uncomfortably close to the new girl.

She pulled away, scooting closer to the edge as Charles pushed forward.

…

“Now why were you so, what's the word ...defensive…towards the young girl” The woman interrupted, clicked her crimson pen against her cheek, eyeing Chucky.

“I don’t trust people…”

“....Why exactly?”

The redhead dug his finger nails deeper into the couch, growing evermore agitated.

“If you’d quit interrupting maybe you’ll find out” He bellowed, side-eyeing her.

“...Alright then carry on” she responded clicking her pen against her thigh

…….

After shoeing the unwanted pest away the two twins ventured off home. Charles was walking rather fast paced compared to his brother, causing Carolus to pick up speed inorder to catch up with his twin.

“I still think you were a bit mean to Tiffany earlier” He commented, clutching onto his backpack straps as he spoke.

“Really? I thought I left her off easy”

The younger twin sighed, slightly saddened by Charles’ response. He reached out a hand and placed it on his brother's shoulder, causing a sudden halt.

“What?”

Carolus pulled away still fiddling with his backpack straps.

“I….I just…I just wish you were nicer to her…..that’s all….”

Charles’ hushed himself, seeing his twin's saddened expression. The boy calmly approached his brother lightly grabbing his wrists.

“I–I’ll try….okay….”

Carolus’ gave a shy grin satisfied with Charles’ answer, with that out of the way the two raced the other home. With Charles being the victor, as always. Once the boys arrived home they were shocked to see their mother…since she rarely was home. Upon the realization of their mothers presence, the boy’s quickly fell silent, locking eyes with her. The three simply remained still, not uttering a single phrase, the only sound being their father’s ticking metronome. The moment was cut short as Mila shuffled her way out of the house, refusing to speak to her sons as she walked out.

The boys unpacked their things, refusing to talk about the awkward encounter with their mother.

…

“Why do you have such a strained relationship with your mother Chucky?”

“I didn’t….’cuz she wasn’t there…she never was…I knew she never loved me….I never really cared though because I didn’t love her either”

The woman lowered her head, and motioned for the redhead to continue one with his story.

…

The twins and once again sat at their usual spot, chatting amongst themselves, till Caro noticed a shy head peeking from behind a wall. Grinning at the silly attempt to spy on them, Carolus excused himself, going to get water from the fountain, which had only produced heated liquid that only the desperate folk drank.

“....H–Hi” The new girl spoke, extending her hand towards Charles.

“....Hi…” Charles quickly checked his tone, trying to be nicer to the brunette.

“I’m Tiffany”

Charles sighed, not in the mood to strike up conversation. “I know…Everybody knows you.”

Tiffany lowered her head, causing her bangs to conceal her hazel eyes. Seeing this as her attempt to establish a greeting Charles decided to play along.

“...I’m Charles…And my twin over there ...That's Carolus…”

Delighted at his response the young girl extended her hand, with a large grin spread from cheek to cheek. Her sudden cheerfulness shied the young boy away, but remembering his manners shook her overly moisturized hand anyway.

“So wanna be friends?”

Charles scooted an inch away, curling his around his torso, trying to calm himself.

“I guess”

“GREAT! I don’t have many friends”

Charles suppressed an eyeroll, trying to keep his cool, tightening his grip around his midsection.

“...Gee….Wonder why…”

Much to his relief Carolus reappeared smiling, glad that his brother had finally made a friend.

…

“Why do you put a wall around you Charles…making it so difficult to allow people in?”

“...Aren’t you the damn therapist…you tell me”

Clearly dissatisfied with his answer, she clicked her pen and scribbled a note in her little book. Which had brought great annoyance to Chucky.

“Alright then, carry on…” she spoke again once again clicking her pen

Her response caused Charles' thin patience to snap.

“Would you knock it off!?’’

The therapist leaned back into her chair straightening her posture, “I’m not doing anything Charles”

“EXACTLY YOU HAVEN’T DONE SHIT! ALL YOU’RE DOING IS SITTING THERE WHILE I TALK! AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING? AIN’T THAT WHAT I’M PAYING YOU FOR!?”

Before the doctor could get another word in, he continued on to rant.

“YOU KNOW FORGET THIS SHIT"

Before the therapist could stop him he pushed passed her slamming the door behind him, struggling to hold back tears. All those memories had come flooding back. The carefree laughter of his twin, to his still corpse resting peacefully in his coffin. He regretted everything that afternoon.

#Chucky #Charles Lee Loman Reinhardt #Carolus Klaus Reinhardt #If you want an even more angsty one let me know #this was somewhat angsty

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danthropologie · 2 years

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PLEASE share your daniel ricciardo themed playlists with the class!!!

there are so many that it’s genuinely kind of embarrassing to list them all out like this but here you go:

danny ric - just general recs, songs he’s talked about, listened to, etc. i’m sure there are a million playlists out there like this, but i wanted one i was in control of

daniel ricciardo listen to more women challenge - self explanatory, there’s so many men all the fucking time and he needs more women in his life

the man, the myth, the legend - ‘knocked down and dragged out, but not done yet’ / ‘fighting against the passage of time itself’ sort of vibe

the untitled daniel ricciardo playlist - a little self-insert moment. very light, fun, happy. kind of just the general vibe of what i imagine being with him would be like.

(and while we’re here, i’ll also plug my charles and max versions of the same concept: the charles one is sort of 80s synth pop inspired, light and frothy and passionate and vaguely doomed from the start. and the max one really leans into the softness and gentleness of it all because we all know he’s a bit of a basic bitch in taste (affectionately))

brain rot: depression edition - created the day we found out he had c*vid and it was looking like he might be replaced for the first race with a younger version of himself (and yes i’m referring to piastri, if we only fucking knew 😭)

brain rot: cleanse edition - positive manifestation, which i had to make after the vibes from the previous playlist became so horrific that i couldn’t stand it anymore 😭

untitled dr3 playlist - basically just a catch all for anything that reminds me of daniel and doesn’t fit in one of the previously mentioned playlists

the mixtape - i saw this post. it said daniel to me. i made a playlist about it.

the hubris of being young and in the sun // black and yellow // cause it feels so empty without me - these three overlap quite a bit and they’re all still works in progress, but they coincide with the big dick swagger of the rbr, renault, and mclaren eras respectively

blue - another little self insert moment based on @accio-ricciardo’s tags on this post

the day i started dreaming - yet ANOTHER little self insert moment, but this time based on the idea of his partner being a singer-songwriter writing songs about him

little piece of heaven - the montana playlist! upbeat and folky with themes of escape and friendship and self-reflection. probably my favorite of all the daniel based playlists i’ve made, if not of any playlist i’ve made period

girl danny - pretty self explanatory, a playlist of songs that remind me of girl!daniel (and of course i also have girl max and girl charles playlists as well)

burn it to the ground - literally just a collection of angry songs from the day all the alpine/piastri/mclaren bullshit came out 😭

the only john mayer songs men are allowed to listen to - my toxic trait is loving john mayer and if i was going to get daniel into john mayer i would use these songs in this order to do it

how to fix a man in seven easy steps - as i said in the description, these are songs that would make even daniel ricciardo want to date a woman over 30. songs that slap me in the face and call me single in 15 different ways.

and then i also have a couple works in progress that aren’t quite to the point where i’d want to share them yet:

the official 'make a taylor swift fan out of daniel ricciardo' playlist - self explanatory. same as with the john mayer playlist, it’ll be a playlist of songs that i would use to make daniel a taylor swift fan

road trip fic - another self insert and my personal magnum opus, the ultimate road trip playlist but make it exes to lovers

edited to add: give into the moment - i read a daniel friends to lovers y/n fic and then after listened to sidekick by walk the moon and it gave me so much brain rot that i had to make this playlist 😵‍💫 it’s not about him but it’s not NOT about him yk

#listed in order of creation (other than the WIPs obviously)#the sheer number of them....it's mental illness luv #answered #anonymous #mine

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houseofbrat · 10 months

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What’s with all of the name calling? it’s disgusting

“while everyone else with a functioning brain can see them for the self-absorbed, self-indulgent, over-privileged, indolent babies they are”

Are you talking about Charles and Camilla here because yes we do see it? Two pensioners who constantly feel the need to tell stories to the daily mail about William and Kate and then Camillas family and friends speaking badly about them both! Charles throwing a hissy fit over a pen and not being grown enough to put harry in his place without seeking help from William

[related post]

Will and Kate ARE "self-absorbed, self-indulgent, over-privileged, indolent babies!"

If they weren't, then why would Their Cult rise up in anger every time someone mentions a valid critique regarding their performance as unelected public officials for life?

They ARE lazy. They ARE self absorbed. They ARE self indulgent. They ARE over privileged.

Please continue living in your echo chamber where all the negatives about your faves are always Charles & Camilla's fault! You know, anything but reality!

You guys are so hard up for positives about your faves that you'll disregard basic facts about Charles & Camilla. For instance, Harry wasn't afraid to talk to his gran, QEII, about his Megxit plans. It was his father, Charles, he was avoiding. So much so that QEII asked Harry to talk to his father before speaking with her.

But to read any crazy Wales fan blog these days, everyone has seemingly forgotten about that because the only person who is allowed to be liked is William. (Even though he cannot even do the basics of his job such as consistent public support of English football teams!)

You guys clearly don't know anything about your faves or the people you hate so much. You pretend that Charles has never done anything against Harry. Except that has not and has never been true!

Your paragraph about Charles & Camilla is complete bullshit!

You guys don't even really understand who your faves--Will & Kate--are.

Can't wait until you guys find out they really aren't the perfect people you fantasize about them being.

Until then, I guess you can continue living in your fantasyland!

#ask #dumbass #Wales Wailers #crazy cambridge stans #The Will & Kate Cult #charles haters #camilla haters #my gif #Wales fans are CHUMPS

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tobyfoxthegamedev · 30 days

Text

Part 2 yhumlbnia journal

And so yeah. I made a other ballet at the end there. And it's fine. No that bullshit can catch on camera that's the point of that video. It's a day in the life of vangoh who is Charles mansen, and lenair Thomsan married to Leroy Jenkins and tatina but not presently. Or at the same time in this notion. Anyways. It's a ballet that centers around a young proper child enjoying but hating the distance od a kidnaping where she is replaced by an elderly fairy. Thus resuming a disorder where she'll age weird from trauma. Which exists in the real world called, a youth disorder. The ballet is called the kidnap of ra moon, or the moon, and its French title is Le nortra men Un no flame PA vel deshivi cel deshivi sut. Or actually Le montra no flame PA del dishitri sut. So the name can also be because of how French works. I'm not a pedofile cus I have the disorder in the play where I'm young at like 7 forever but mentally 16 and she's 13 forever cus that disorder is real no matter what you think of faries we call the little people. So technically she grew up to mary me still like 16 and so she's about since mentally 30, the real problem there not me cus im kidoe and I like it. And it's why it kidnaped what? Jk happened I mean kidnaped what? So yeah technically as the moon oops sorry I mean solar eclipse as Apollo vantas whos adamton leveletsnoeflqke haha what. Ever. JusJust. Fiber problems as me. So she's so totally awesome sauce. Wow. The moon. So her name of moon. They kidnaped the moon Lars. And all they gave me was this stupid tshirt to shortened my name of popopo but not this event how they bothered me deserves as future ways this will read thst I did not attend as to my marine to her cus French is the bullshit and can I suture or mean that. Iw rote thi time travels. Kidnaps in sicneotlogy. Jk. Um. What van and adams accident movie of wheres my cubic as in France we dictate on Hon Hon Hon mind fo what it means. By he he he him I'm I'm a guy tho John. Thus

French accidently depending on how long a title is, like alternative languages in the webcomic homestuck and qdaption of my book official but originally for fan productions by Andrew hussie. I watched dubs of jr. I can enjoy it if it's a movie there and that counts as lets read and biodash honestucks. Anyways. Yes I play my friend John. And that oc is ftm transgender please stop calling him a girls name cus its also in Andrew hussies and your being transphobic cus the whole point of why people told me they were doing thst is cus its a more acceptable or better almost bisexuality transgender so more normal then ftm which is transgender male. My identity. And then implied it's cus he's Asian so better and less oppression points which happens with non binary communities. Cus they have more pirvlegde with thst in most counties but not all where sometimes it's reversed. And it's like your from those other counties though where they don't have to bind or stuff bras and we do. Fulc you royally. Cus that's how you tell thst. Honest to god. Stop erasing Jon eines real identity when you googled his birth name, June and decided now he girl lie a bit so stay same so normal as often argued to me in a meme format. That you keep applying to joeks about my race. Fuck you royally. Anyways enjoy that ballet as cosplay versions exist it's just rose alone alone should be the moon or for crepy reasons it's a hate crime. Cus its homestuck.

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yesterdayiwrote · 2 years

Note

I've honestly really disliked what has happened George this season, he's had unfounded hate sent his way and his team principle has undermined him as well as the social media team.

I'm beginning to make peace with ignoring what Toto says, even the latest with what he has said against Charles. Lewis' seat is always going to be the safest, and I hope Toto doesn't back stab George. I hope he's never without a seat. But both are a risk.

I think moving to a top team was always going to bring more scrutiny and I think George has kind of suffered from tall poppy syndrome in that he had such an incredible start to the season that people were actively waiting for him to make a mistake and went in on him twice as hard as necessary when he did have bad races, because society has a weird habit of doing that. I think Brazil shut a lot of people up in that respect.

I think the bit that has been the hardest to read is the vitriol that has come from so called Mercedes Fans who seem to be intent on seeing him as an enemy because he dares to advocate for himself in races and because they seem to think Mercedes is just one person? I am disappointed in Mercedes not doing more to pushback against that.

I think Toto just says things for clicks without thinking about the implications, or he thinks offering their seat to someone else will drive both his drivers to strive for more or some other psychological bullshit, but it just starts people gossiping that someone’s getting dropped. 🤷🏼‍♀️

#ask

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monte-charlo · 2 years

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🙃🔫.

#today hurt more than the spain dnf #its been hours amd im still not over it i cant believe what i witnessed today from a team meant trying to challenge for the wcc and wdc #although judging by what binotto said maybe they dgaf about the wdc because him lamenting dropping points and talking about fucking sainz #as the driver meant to win when it was solely the strategy and bad calls that not only cost sharles the race but a podium is making me sick #every week im realising more and more that there are literally only three drivers i care about on the grid #the rest can go fuck themselves #i am so so angry and thats before i even begin to think about the fucking fia and there complete pussyfooting around red bull and max #like wtf was that bullshit with the pit exits today??#if charles or lewis isn’t winning i actually don’t give a fuck and sorry ferrari but for the first time since 2015 i actually care about #your driver and you screwing his chances is making me very not a fan right now #basically fuck every one and give me only charles pierre and lewis #oks its 1 am anf i have work tomorrow at a job i hate almost as much as rbr so good night to those of you that read this far #also get help lol

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Slashers Toy Story!AU

Or, *cough* a way for me to write out a buncha funny Incorrect Quotes and smoosh two things I love together.

Woody: Jason Voorhees

Buzz Lightyear: Michael Myers

Jessie: Ghostface

Prospector/Stinky Pete: Roman Bridger

Bo Peep and Ham: Freddy Krueger

Mr Potato Head: Chucky / Charles Lee Ray

Mrs Potato Head: Tiffany Valentine

Slinky: Carrie White

Rex: Bubba Sawyer

Barbie: Jennifer Check

Ken: Patrick Bateman

Lotso-'O'-Huggin' Bear: Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt. Was gonna be Bo, but Hoyt just fits way better. Plus he has Thomas.

Chuckles: Monty

Big Baby: Thomas hewitt

The Chatter Telephone: Luda Mae Hewitt

Also, Sunnydale Daycare: Ambrose. Because why not.

*I'm thing the kids in Toy Story are the fanbase and creators of the Slashers in this AU. Like, Andy and Bonnie are the original creators that make up the canon stuff and created them to be the infamous characters we all know- and Sid is us fan-people that twist and distort the characters for our own pleasure, haha XD *

An abundance of Incorrect Quotes bellow the cut!

Chucky: *With all the features on his face mismatched*

Chucky: Hey Freddy, look! I'm Picasso!

Freddy: ... yeah, I don't get it. *Leaves*

Chucky: *what... * You uncultured swine!! *Shakes his fist at Freddy's retreating back. That was a good fucking joke, goddamn.*

Michael: *Writing down on whiteboard:* Excuse me... I think the word you're searching for is

THE SHAPE.

Jason: *Already so done with this edgy boy's bullshit*

Jason: *Moves attention to his own whiteboard, starts writing*

Jason: *Shows board*

NO. The word I'm 'searching for', I cant say, because there are preschool toys present.

*Gestures ferociously to Carrie and Bubba.*

Jason: *Ughhhh. Shows board that he frantically wrote on:* Its not a KNIFE! Its a little stick of plastic!!

Freddy: What's wrong with him??

Chucky: Knife envy~

Freddy: Ah been there

Jason and Michael: *Watching Dr Loomis give psychology advice*

Jason and Michael: *Slowly tilting their heads sceptically, in unison*

Michael: *Holds up board for Jason to read:* ... I don't think that man has ever been to medical school.

Jason: *Trying to get Michael to help him. Writes passive aggressively on board and shoves the thing in Michael's view:* Would you give me a hand!???

Michael: *Fucking slices his own arm off and chucks it at Jason*

Look, he's having a bad day...

Freddy: *Sneaks up on Jason and digs his fingers into the giants sides*

Jason: *Whips around and cracks Freddy in the face from shock*

Jason: *Realises its just Freddy as the other groans and holds his nose, and looks a little guilty. Oh, Freddy. Writes on board and shows him:* There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.

Freddy: Agh- Fucking- Merry Christmas, hockey puck!

Jason: *Catches sight of something above them, tilts his head. Writes and shows board:* Isn't that mistletoe?

Freddy: *A slow, creepy grin rips across his face* Yep.

~ Toy Stoy 2~

Jason: *Frantically holding up a board:* Michael! I was a yo-yo!

Freddy and Chucky: *Look at each other*

Chucky: 'Was'?

*Michael and the others watching a dude try to buy Jason and failing.*

Michael: *Thinking: Mm, now just walk away.*

Man: *Follows after where Jason went.*

Michael: *Thinking: ... the other way.*

*After Jason has been stolen- everyone is panicking*

Michael: *Stomping his foot, trying to gather these psychopaths' attentions. Wait a minute! Wait, hold on! When he semi has their attention, he shows a piece of paper with writing on it:* This is not time to be hysterical.

Freddy: Its the perfect time to be hysterical.

Bubba: *Gasp. Should we be hysterical!?*

Carrie: *Tries to calm Bubba down, a hand on his arm and voice gentle* No-

Chucky: Yes.

Michael: *Thinking: ... well, maybe*

Freddy: Give this to Jason when you find him

Freddy: *SMACKS MICHAEL UPSIDE THE HEAD*

Michael: ... *Holds up board* Alright. But I don't think it'll mean the same thing coming from me.

Freddy: *Up ahead* Hey guys! Why did the toys cross the road!?

Michael: *But rolls his eyes. Not now bacon bits.*

Bubba: *Perks up and waives. Oh! He loves riddles. Why?*

Freddy: To get to the chicken... on the other side!

*They all look out and celebrate, seeing where Jason was being kept hostage... but then realise how dangerous getting across will be as a giant fricken truck careens by and crushes a can the same size as them*

Bubba: ... *Promptly turns around and starts walking back the way they came. Oh well. We tried-*

Michael: *Grabs Bubba back*

Jennifer: I can help! I'm Tour Guide Jen!

Jennifer: Please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car, and no flash photography! Thanks.

Chucky: -I'm a married man, I'm married man, I'm married man-

Freddy: *Shoves Chucky out of the way* Then make room for the single fellas.

Michael: *Ugh. Writes on board:* They're on level 23.

Carrie: How are we gonna get up there?

Bubba: *Gestures to balloons, then up to the sky. Meaning: Maybe if we find some balloons, we could float to the top!*

Chucky: Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom, and pretend we're delivering a pizza.

Freddy: How bout a roast? *Grins*

Freddy: *Assesses Chucky and Carrie in turn* With tenderised pig and a slaughtered lamb as sides.

Chucky: Hold the fuck up did you just call me a pig- and a side-

Carrie: What?

Bubba: Oh! Oh! *Pats his chest excitedly. Do him! What about me??*

Freddy: ... Eh, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.

*Michael does something to get them all hurt and doesn't to care at all, of course. Just moves on.*

Chucky: Remind me to glue his mask on his head when we get back.

Freddy: *Nods, yep*

Chucky:*Embracing Tiffany after having been away saving Jason*

Glen and Glenda: You saved our lives! We're eternally grateful!

Chucky: Oh, fuck...

Tiffany: You saved their lives, Chucky?? Oh, my hero.

Tiffany: *Immediately drops Chucky in favour of picking up the babies* And they're adorable! Lets adopt them!

Chucky: *Thinking: What? No- Absolutely not- Don't say tha-*

Glen and Glenda: Daaaaddy!

Chucky: Fuck.

~Toy Story 3~

Jason: *Holds up a sign as he stands there menacingly with his machete:* You got a date with justice, Charles.

Chucky: Heh, too bad, 'sheriff'. I'm a married man.

Tiffany: *Comes out screaming, wielding goddamn nun chucks*

Michael: *Eyes narrow behind mask, slowly holds up sign he prepared earlier:* Bastard son of a hundred maniacs.

Freddy: Hah. That's Mr Bastard son of a hundred maniacs, to you!

*The toys/Slashers watch some toys, including Jennifer and her car get thrown in the donation bin*

Ghostface: Oh, man, poor Jen.

Freddy: ... I get the corvette.

Tiffany: Its alright, Jen, it'll be okay.

Jennifer: Well... Needy and I have been growing apart for a while...

Jennifer: Its just... I cant believe she would kill me!

Chucky: *Who's 'best friend till the end'/victim also killed him* Yeah. Welcome to the club, toots.

Hoyt: They just love new toys, don't they?

Chucky: Love!? We've been chewed, kicked, drooled on-

Tiffany: Just look at my nails!

Hoyt: ... Hm. Well, here's the thing, sweetheart. You aint leavin' Ambrose.

Tiffany: *Thinking: Oh fuck no he did not just- * Sweetheart!? Who do you think you're talking to!? I have over 10 kills, and I deserve more respec-

Hoyt: *Covers Tiffany's mouth with his hand* Ah, that's better.

Chucky: *Thinking: I'm going to fuck this douche up- * Hey, no one takes my wife's mouth. *Shoves Hoyt back off her by the chest* 'Cept me.

*Hoyt and Thomas bring Chucky back from 'The Box'. He's more fucked up looking then usual, sand all through his hair and stuck to his plastic features. He shakes it out of his pockets.*

Tiffany: *Gasp* Sweetheart!

Chucky: Eugh... it was cold. And dark. Nothin' but sand and a couple of Lincoln logs.

Freddy: Ehhh... I don't think those were Lincoln logs.

Ghostface: I was wrong...

Chucky:

Chucky: Ghostface is right. He was wrong.

Jennifer: *Fake cries*

Chucky: *Slaps a Pidgeon*

*Trying to reset Michael back to his former settings/self (The one that knows them and therefore will maybe-perhaps-possibly not kill them*

Freddy: Oh- oh- oh, here we go. there should be a little hole under the switch.

Jason: *Little hole little hold little hole- Nods. Got it!*

Freddy: To reset your Michael Myers action figure, insert paper clip-

Jason: *Sharply turns to Bubba, urging him to put his finger in the hole quickly*

Freddy: Caution; Do not hold button for more then five seconds...

Michael: *Suddenly stops thrashing and goes slack*

Everyone: ...

Bubba: *Jumps off him, holding up his hands. Its not my fault!!*

Michael, on Spanish Mode: *Gives Jason two sweet kisses on either cheek*

Jason: *Awkwardly, slowly holds up sign:* We gotta switch him back.

Ghostface: Oh! Mikey!!

Michael, still on Spanish Mode: *Sees Ghostface*

Michael: *Drops to his knees, gathers up Ghostface's hand*

Michael: *Looks up at Ghostface in utter awe and admiration*

Ghostface: *Freaken freaked out. Shouldn't he be the creepy one in this outfit? Leans away* Uhh... did you fix Michael?

Freddy: Uh, sorta. I mean I for one think this is a huge improvement.

Michael, STILL on Spanish Mode: *Does a dance of feelings around Ghostface, wanting to express himself*

Ghostface: What- why- please stop I'm gonna pee myself- Of laughter or fear I have no idea but I WILL PEE

Michael: *Grabs and dips Ghostface, and holds up a sign* We will be the most famous killers in history, together.

Ghostface: *Thinking: Oh I can get behind that, hell yeah- *

Jason: *Arrives*

Ghostface: Oh- *Scrambles out of Michaels hold* JASE!

Michael: *Watches them move on together* *Throws down the sign*

Freddy: I suddenly feel disgusting, like... I somehow ended up in some kinda... love-square, of some kind...

Jason: *Nicely gestures for Michael to give him some help*

Michael, stillllllll on Spanish mode: *Sniffs his nose at Jason's hand, shoving him out of the way with one arm like no thank you.*

Jennifer: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed. Not from the threat of force! // Or, alternatively which I think fits a whole lot better- // I am not going to stand back here and let another fucking old white guy tell me what the fuck to do!

Chucky and Freddy, two old white guys: *Look at each other*

Chucky:

Freddy:

Chucky and Freddy: *Shrug*

And that's it seeing as I don't really wanna see Toy Story 4. I hope you enjoyed this silly thing with me at least a little XD

Okay so I got a little attached in the end.

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chaoskirin · 3 years

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I wanted to explain a post I reblogged to my @chaoskirin blog earlier, about why you can’t separate the art from the author when it comes to J.K. Rowling.

And to qualify this, I was a HUGE Harry Potter fan. I had doubts at first, but once I read the books, I was hooked. HP art, HP RPs, HP fics... You name it, I did it.

I’ve seen a lot of pushback against letting Harry Potter go, because “as adults, we should all be able to separate art from its creator.” (Paraphrased--but it’s always that argument.) The thing with JKR, though, is she refuses to be separated from her work. She has outright rejected the idea of “death of the author” and makes sure she’s integrated into the HP world so thoroughly that you can’t tear her out of it.

I know it’s hard to accept this. I’m sitting here thinking “should I really post this?” Because there’s a chance I’m just way off-base. But as an artist and writer myself, I can recognize that when my real-world beliefs go into my art, they only build people up, they don’t tear them down. Meanwhile JKR often used her work to write stereotypes and illustrate her beliefs in books meant for children. Cho Chang, goblins, lycanthropy as an allegory of HIV/AIDS, etc. And then there was the character stuff that happened outside the books: Dumbledore-is-Gay, the American School That Ripped Off Native American Culture...

Finally, there’s the use of her fame as a vehicle for her hate. Transphobic rants on Twitter, laws created with her blessing which seek to hurt trans people, attacking and near-bullying people who disagree with her, and getting away with all this because she has a blue checkmark next to her name. And this is only scratching the surface.

We could get into how people still love Charles Dickens and Rudyard Kipling, whose racist beliefs were “products of their time.” (which is a non-excuse to be fair--other people who lived during those times were very NOT racist, but that’s a digression.) But their beliefs don’t begin to compare with the real-world harm JKR has done.

Because if she’d written racist caricatures out of ignorance and then apologized when called out, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I mean, some people would. Twitter in particular doesn’t want people to get better--they want people to be perfect from the start. Which brings up a major problem with social justice champions--they paint everyone who fails with the same brush, rather than holding accountable those who STILL fail, while championing those who have learned. And that, in turn, makes boycotting people like JKR more difficult, which is the entire problem with cancel culture: If you cancel everyone, you make the world numb to real problems.

The point is, JKR not only used racist caricatures in her books, not only did she queer-bait and malign AFTER her books, not only did she write MORE stories with the same damaging rhetoric she’d already been called out on, but she continues to actively harm REAL people in the REAL world. As one of the most famous people in this generation, she has a platform, and she’s chosen to use it to hurt.

And her fans already gave her WAY more chances than they tend to give ordinary people who fuck up. It’s not like she went right from hero to zero. She’s had years to realize that she’s hurting people, and she just doesn’t care. Every time she’s called out on the bad stuff, she doubles down. She doesn’t even PRETEND to feel remorse.

I know it hurts. I know it’s your childhood. I know you really want to argue against this because disavowing something that meant so much to you is near-impossible. But please, I urge you to try.

Because she’s still active in her own fandom, and because she continues to regurgitate damaging bullshit which is actively hurting people, and because she has not and likely will never apologize for this, you can’t read her work critically while taking her out of it. You can’t be a fan of it without the understanding that she--and by extension, the books themselves--are harmful. You can’t continue to consume new material without supporting her. You cannot separate Harry Potter from JKR.

#harry potter #jk rowling #not bestiary

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

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hc or ficlet of teddy proposing you amy again but this time jake decides enough is enough

(Read it on AO3)

“You’re probably wondering why I called you here.” Charles says in a deep, low voice.

“Are we not just having drinks?” Jake asks as he hands Rosa her beer and Charles his fruity rosé-tinted cocktail with a berry garnish.

“No! There are far more pressing matters at hand!”

Jake and Rosa clink their bottles together before the first sip, waiting for Charles to continue on his dramatic tangent, as he needs to do sometimes.

“Amy is going to a seminar in Staten Island next week.” He gives them both a deep stare.

“You might be surprised, bud, but I do know that.”

“Teddy is also going to that seminar.”

Jake stops mid-drink.

“I did not know that.”

“Neither does Amy.” Rosa cuts in. “Or she definitely woulda mentioned it.”

“He’s actually attended this seminar twice before, so I deduced that he’s not going for the learning material this time.” Charles leans back almost triumphantly.

“Yeah, it really doesn’t take a detective to figure that out.” Jake is trying to keep busy peeling the label off of his bottle, but Rosa can tell he’s clearly failing. There’s a furrow in his brow she’s rarely ever seen before.

“We have to stop him! He’s going to propose again, or do something romantic, or make a call-back to the seminar where they met, and Amy’s gonna get all confused-”

“My wife of four years and mother of my son is going to get confused by an unstable ex?” Jake’s voice is - bitter, Rosa thinks, is the best way to describe it, and she doesn’t think she’s ever heard that tone from him. Neither has Charles, it seems, because he backpedals immediately.

“Well, no, but- I mean- Amy is going to be upset- she’s been looking forward to that seminar and Teddy is going to ruin it!” He sputters, and Rosa can’t help but nod.

“And what do you suggest we do about that? We can’t keep Teddy from attending a work-thing, and I’m not going to stop Amy from going.”

“We can- we could kidnap Teddy just for the week, and then-”

“Kidnap a police officer.” Rosa interrupts again. “Because that’s gonna go over so well with the authorities.”

“Well then Jake can go to the seminar as well, and punch him out if he tries anything-”

“Yeah, because Holt’s totally not gonna be suspicious when Jake asks to go to a seminar that doesn’t involve some action training.” Rosa quips.

“I’m also not that big a fan of the idea of punching a man for, like, talking to my wife.” Jake grumbles, the label of his beer now completely gone, and only half-sounds convincing.

“It would be for love!” “It would be fucking creepy, is what it would be. Like I’m laying claim to some property or something in the most machismo-asshole way possible.”

“Yeah.” Rosa nods. “Amy’s a grown woman, she can tell him to fuck off herself, and she’s done it before. She doesn’t need us to bring chaos to her ‘fun’ little seminar.” She does sarcastic finger quotes around ‘fun’, but she also does know how much Amy is looking forward to this boring thing again - it’s her first time away from Mac on her own, and she’s planned her own trip just as meticulously as she’s planned for Jake’s stay with the kid, as if he has never taken care of his own child before, and kept her up to date on all of it in case she needs to jump in and help in any situation (which she won’t, but she might go over for a playdate anyway, just to see her godson).

Charles grumbles a bit more, something about ‘true love’ and ‘knights in shining armour’, but he drops the subject before their first round is finished and they can actually spend a nice evening together.

-*-

Rosa hands Jake a beer in return, once Charles has called it quits for the night because he has to go say goodnight to Nikolaj (Jake facetimed Amy and Mac instead and promised he’d be home soon, to which Amy rolled her eyes and said ‘Sure, babe. Tell Rosa to keep you out longer for some fun, please.’ the same way he had when Rosa had picked her up for a girls night two weeks ago).

“You okay?” She asks as she watches him peel the edge of the label almost immediately.

“Charles has really gotten into my head. I hate it when that happens.” He sighs as he lets go of the paper and drinks instead.

“Again: Amy’s a grown woman.”

“I know.” He’s fiddling with the label again after just one sip. “It’s just that all this Teddy-shit really does upset her. I mean, not in the ‘confused’ way like Charles said, which is bullshit.” The furrow is back for a second, Rosa notes. “But like… she just mulls it over in her head so much and it makes her feel like shit even if she won’t say it. I think the stunts he pulled at our wedding bothered her more than the whole thing actually being cancelled.”

Rosa nods as she takes her own first sip. She remembers Amy’s face when she realised Teddy was also at that stroller-contest thing she dragged her to. She remembers her face when they finally drove back to the precinct together too. She knows her friend, and if there’s anyone who knows her even better, it’s obviously Jake.

“So we gotta prevent that somehow.” She tries to continue the conversation without delving into Charles-level shenanigan-planning.

“”I just don’t want Amy’s first time off from Mac to suck because of some inconsiderate asshole. But I can’t exactly go along with her like Charles suggested, I have a kid to take care of, and also that idea is kinda insane.”

“Guess I gotta make sure it doesn’t suck, then.” Rosa finishes her beer and tries to ignore Jake’s gobsmacked stare at her. She doesn’t know when it happened, but at some point, apparently, she’s become willing to attend a boring seminar for Santiago.

-*-

Howzit goin

learn to write like an adult Peralta

also your wife will not stop talking about your kid

you love him

I do

but I don’t need updates on his bathing habits

no Teddy sightings yet but we’re also way too early because Amy. Keep you posted

Jake smiles at the text chain on his phone and makes a mental note to send her a picture of Mac in the tub later tonight, just to annoy her a bit more. Amy had handed the baby over to him at the precinct like she was going on a year-long world-cruise instead of just a five day overnight stay in another part of their own city, and Rosa had been standing behind her with her travel bag, rolling her eyes.

It had taken surprisingly little to convince both Amy and Holt that Rosa was actually interested enough in the seminar to join it at the last minute, and Amy had immediately included her in her itinerary, as well as offered to drive with her so she didn’t have to carry all her luggage on her motorcycle. Jake was going to owe her so, so many favours after all this.

The Mac-inna-tub picture only gets a grumbling emoji response, but she texts him again at around 9, when Mac is already fast asleep and he’s finally turned on Die Hard at the lowest possible volume to not wake him up again.

Teddy showed up

tried to say Hi (or worse) to Amy but I stared him away

going out for first day drinks with the group. I’ll keep him away. Maybe slip something into his drink.

why do I not question you having something to slip into drinks?

I can do more than just knives

don’t stay up all night watching all Die Hards. You gotta take Mac to daycare early tomorrow

Amy told me to tell you that

sure

and it’s only Die Hard 1 tonight

gonna spread them out over all the evenings

got one night left if you skip 4

The Holiday is on Netflix

you’re a good one Peralta

There’s no more updates until 11am the next morning, long after Mac has gone to daycare right on time, as he’s informed Amy via text to calm her down, and he was at the precinct only 15 minutes late this time.

Teddy pulled out the big guns

he had an actual ring this time. Looked expensive

There’s a sinking feeling in his chest, and he wonders what he should answer before his phone pings again.

I broke the ring

and the box

also his hand (‘accident’ - have to say that for liability)

anyway he’s out of the seminar now I guess because he can’t write anymore

so no need to worry

Jake tries to suppress his grin by biting his lip as he texts her back, Charles already getting a bit suspicious over him smiling at his phone constantly two desks over. He can probably explain it away by claiming he’s been messaging Amy, instead.

You’re my goddamn queen, Diaz

Amy is

but I definitely own your ass now too since I have to spend 4 more days in this shit place for you

There’s very few updates the rest of the week (apart from several pics of Amy either working, drinking, or lying hungover in bed in their shared hotel room - Rosa has resolved to make the whole boring thing a whole lot less boring, it seems) even as he keeps texting both ladies with Mac-updates and Mac-pictures.

Amy is all smiles and definitely not upset when they get back to the precinct and he’s already there to pick her up and hand the baby to his excited mama, and even Rosa spares a smile for the two Peralta-boys after the week she’s had.

He sidles up to her as Amy coos over her little boy giving her a hug and hello kisses.

“I really do owe you one, Rosa. Thanks.” “Dude, you owe me several.” She growls. “At least I won’t have to do that ever again. I’d say Teddy’s out of the picture now.”

“Because of one broken hand?”

“Yeah, I visited him in the hospital when he was getting his cast on. To ‘apologise’ for the injury.” Rosa grins, and even her sarcastic finger quotes seem intimidating. “Not even he’s that stupid to try and come back.”

Jake raises his fist, and Rosa reluctantly bumps it before both turn their attention back to Amy, who’s already chatting about weekend plans and offering Rosa a ride home. She takes the offer, if only to play peek-a-bo with Mac in the backseat.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #peraltiago #jake peralta #amy santiago #rosa diaz #ficlet #my writing #academy dholes

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bamfdaddio · 3 years

Text

X-Men Unabridged: Hellfire (1980)

The X-Men, those often stripsearched mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 129 - 131) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne

Since I think Scott, square extraordinaire, would also say: “I know squat about rap, but this Vanilla Ice dude is excellent,” I’m not putting much stock in his musical opinions. (X-Men 130)

Before we finally reach the apotheosis of the Phoenix saga, we’re going to take it a little slowly by focusing on the first three issues of 1980. They are basically the ramp-up to the end, putting all the pieces in place for the X-equivalent of the Red Wedding, the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm or the explosion of Alderaan. But, before smashing the board, Claremont introduces three new queens to the game. Here they are, in order of Awesome:

Emma Frost, or The White Queen; a telepathic HBIC with ambitions beyond dressing up in lingerie;

Kitty Pryde, or Sprite (Shadowcat, these days);

Alison Blaire (Dazzler), a disco dolly with light powers who unfortunately starts out as a relic of time gone by.

But before we can expand, Claremont shrinks the cast: Banshee, who sold his voice to a sea witch has injured vocal chords, stays behind on Muir Isle, retiring officially. (It’s gonna be a while before he returns to the X-Family in any true capacity - I think it might be the 90s?) It’s the first time since Thunderbird’s death that the core cast changes, and it’s not that surprising that Sean gets the shaft: Banshee, who has been positioned as the older, more experienced member of the team, has had very little to do (and Claremont has seemed reluctant to flesh him out the way he has the rest of the X-Men). Sean is essentially a decent, upstanding man who has mastered the use of his powers: there’s very little way to go without breaking him down or changing the course of his character. (If you’re a fan of him, go read the Phalanx Covenant and 90’s Generation X: it’s the best use of Sean.)

Polaris, Havok and Jamie also stay in Scotland, choosing a quiet life without superheroics. (For those familiar with X-Factor, this is where you laugh and laugh and laugh.)

Jason Wyngarde, meanwhile keeps fucking with the Phoenix, using his psionic fantasies to unleash her darkest self.

Jean’s darkest fantasies amount to little more than a Victorian bodice ripper, which is adorable. (To be fair, if I were trapped in a lusty prison of my own design, I´d probably dream up my own Downton Abbey soap opera where I was sleeping with all the hunky house boys, so…) (X-Men 129)

Scott, meanwhile, reveals the sheer depths of his repression by admitting that he never let himself feel the grief for Jean’s death.

If you think it’s weird that Jean falls for a sleezeball like Wyngarde, remember that the love of her life is a man who is so repressed that it took him 5+ years to tell his friends he had a brother. Her taste in men is questionable at best. (X-Men 129)

The whole “I accidentally picked up a stray thought” has to be such a bullshit. It’s like your sister claiming that she heard from a friend of a friend that you like someone, while she actually just read it in your diary. Telepaths are snoops, Jean, own it.

Speaking of telepaths without boundary issues, Professor X is back from space! He immediately slips back into a stupid, patriarchal role and treats this X-Men team the same he treated his X-Men in the sixties. Scott is like: dude, these aren’t the same dumb teenagers we were, but Xavier won’t listen. Their squabble is interrupted by Cerebro, alerting them to the existence of two new mutants! One in NYC, one in Chicago.

Somewhere else, the Hellfire Club is revealed to be listening in: they have bugged the mansion a long time ago. While most the Inner Circle is featured in some way in this arc - we finally get to see Sebastian Shaw’s face! - the main villain here is the White Queen. She’s coordinating the attack on the X-Men and is looking to recruit Kitty for her Academy in Massachusetts.

It’s kind of bizarre that it took so long for this plot - an emerging young mutant is an object of interest for two competing factions - to be a main plotline, considering it’s such a staple for the X-Men mythos as a whole. (See, for example: the New Mutants, Generation-X, the Young X-Men, but also Rogue in the first X-Men movie and the whole of X-Men: First Class. Hell, X-Men Evolution’s first season was practically built on this trope.) It is kind of fitting that one of the mutants introduced this way is Kitty Pryde, the first X-Man that would be completely Chris Claremont’s creation.

While teacher’s pets Cyclops, Phoenix and Nightcrawler can go to New York, Xavier takes Colossus, Storm and Wolverine to a suburb in Chicago (“to monitor them in the field”, fuck you too, Chuck). In the Windy City, we meet plucky YA-novel heroine Kitty Pryde, who’s being tormented by headaches.

The KISS-poster in Kitty’s room is fortunately the only crossover we’ll have between the X-Men and the KISS-comics published by Marvel. (X-Men 129)

Just after a certain Ms. Frost has pitched her Academy to the Pryde parents, the X-Men arrive. While Charles works the parents, Ororo takes Kitty to get some ice cream, letting slip the secret of the X-Men.

Wolverine reading a titty mag in an ice cream shop while both Ororo and Charles are trying to convince people they run a legitimate school is a hilarious mood. (X-Men 129)

Kitty’s appearance is supposed to have been inspired by a young Katherine Hepburn, which is particularly evident in these panels.

Anyway, they are promptly attacked by Hellfire droids, who spook Kitty into jumping through a wall. Finally, her powers are confirmed: Kitty can become intangible, ‘phasing’ through objects. When the X-Men defeat the droids, Emma Frost comes along to finish the job, psychically overwhelming Storm, Wolverine and Colossus. She abucts them, not realizing Kitty has stowed away in their… floating… hovercraft… thing. She also manages to abduct Xavier.

I love how Emma’s to-do-list was:

Abduct the X-Men

Strip them naked (X-Men 130)

The Inner Circle and their motivations are slowly fleshed out: they’re all in it for power, money, glory. (Emma would love Lana del Ray.) But they’re not a united front: Wyngarde considers Phoenix the road to power, Emma believes in raising (and controlling) the next generation of mutants and Shaw… Well, Shaw is a clever opportunist, not afraid to sell out his own kind. (It’s heavily implied the Hellfire Club helped fund Lang’s Sentinel program.)

Through Jason, we pick up the thread in New York, where Jean and Scott visit some shady club downtown. Nightcrawler is stationed outside. Inside, Jean enjoys the relative perversion of the clubbing crowd, until Jason shows up and twists reality, shunting her to ‘their wedding day’.

It’s never made explicit, but in between the lines, it’s highly probable that Jason seduced Jean, violated her body and mind. That, combined with the whole BDSM/Marquis de Sade atmosphere of the Hellfire Club where the men are fully clothed and the women prance around in lingerie amounts to a whole lot of ick, ick, ick. (X-Men 130)

In Chicago, Kitty skulks around the compound of Frost Enterprises. She manages to creep up to Ororo’s cage, who gives her a number to call. Before she can do anything else, Emma sees her, calls all her henchmen cretins and orders her to get that pigeon kitty. Kitty flees and manages to get a call in.

Kurt picks up the phone in their limo (which feels super swanky for the eighties!) and Kitty delivers her warning. Kurt is then promptly attacked, as are Phoenix and Cyclops. Together, they make short work of their attackers, with the aid of Dazzler. Introductions follow:

Dazzler’s “nope” tells you about 80% of what her character is about. (X-Men 130)

It’s funny to see how relatively unknown the idea of mutants still is. Kitty doesn’t even consider it, even though freaky shit is happening to her, and Dazzler hilariously doesn’t give a figgin where her powers come from. (Though she may just be in denial. Anyone who wears a disco ball around her neck can’t be accused of good common sense.) In ten, twenty years, I bet there’s tons of teenagers in the Marvel Universe who get headaches or weird growing pains and fear that one morning, they might wake up a mutant.

It’s odd how Cerebro picks up Dazzler as a ‘neo-mutant’, even though it’s obvious she had her powers for a while. It might have to do with the fact that Dazzler wasn’t created by Claremont and Byrne, but by Tom DeFalco and John Romita Jr. However, because editorial wanted to Dazzler’s debut to make a splash, so they added her to their best-selling book and she had to be shoe-horned into this plot. She was originally intended to be closs-platform - there were plans for albums, Bo Derek would star as her in movies - but since Marvel had the keen foresight to introduce her just as disco was dying all of this got shelved. After a solo series, she’ll become a pretty solid B-Lister X-Man in a couple of years. (Should I be covering her solo series? It’s only very tangentially X-Related. Sound off below!)

Cyclops, Phoenix, Nightcrawler and Dazzler Trojan Horse their way into Frost Enterprises and make quick work of the White Queen’s cronies while Emma is creepily making Storm her personal plaything. Kitty, meanwhile, manages to free Wolverine by phasing through the electronic lock. Jean recognizes the Hellfire Club from her (fake) memories with Jason, but doesn’t connect the dots quite yet.

Emma, frustrated that her plan is falling to pieces, takes out her ire on Storm, threatening to lobotomize her. Jean… does not take this lightly.

“I understand you call yourself something of a telepath” is absolutely the most badass line Jean has ever uttered. Fuck yeah. (X-Men 131)

With the White Queen defeated (rumors of her death are greatly overrated), the X-Men can briefly regroup. Dazzler does not join the X-Men, being too into the idea of becoming the mutant Madonna, while Kitty is delivered back to her parents. To prevent a nasty scene, Jean casually alters the memories of her parents, removing the memories of Kitty’s involvement with the kidnapping of the X-Men. This also neatly prevents her parents from realizing what a horrible idea it is for a 13 year old to join a superhero squad. (Even if she has a defensive power.)

This arc ends with the two people who love Jean the most voicing their concern:

When you look up ‘muhahahaha’ in the dictionary, this picture of Jason Wyngarde will be the definition. (X-Men 131)

Hold onto your butts, people. We’re almost there.

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nocturnal-dreams · 3 years

Text

I might take this down later tonight so if you want to screenshot it so you can use my words against me like in 2 months again go the fuck ahead but I've heard so many anons going on my account that I will not be responding to because well I really couldn't give less of a fuck. Anons are pissed off at me for multiple reasons. While its 1am and I'm kind of drunk, I feel like I can quickly explain myself.

⚠️ Stop reading now if you really couldn't give a damn ⚠️

➖Okay so I've seen a lot of people pissed off at me for writing for c!Schlatt. Now I completely agree that you can be mad at Schlatt, he's said some fucked up things but to be attacking his fans and the people who are a fan of his character, no that's fucked up and if you're a follower of mine and hate on Schlatt fans, you can kindly fuck off, you're no follower of mine. Look I'm sorry but I'm not gonna stop writing for a character that I enjoy because the internet isnt a fucking perfect picket white fence.

Another thing related to Schlatt is JustAMinx or the chuckle sandwich crew in general but I'll just talk about Minx. I'm still gonna write for her since I genuinely enjoy her content. Do I like that she's friends with Kacey? Absolutely not but Minx is an adult and it's up to her to make her own choices. Do I wish she'd not support Kacey, absolutely but once again she's an adult and its up to her to be responsible when looking at who she's to be friends with

➖Okay number 2, my dress pictures or just the pictures I post of my irl life in general. I've been getting a lot of hate anons lately that are mad at me for wearing a dress because people think I'm faking being non-binary for clout, shut the fuck up. I can wear my packer and binder and I'm still gonna be non-binary, what's so different about me wearing a fucking dress that shows a little cleavage? Grow the fuck up

Another few anons I've been getting are about my weight in the photos, people claiming they're worried about my health, no bro you're just being a dick. Look I am afab and I have a little thing called a uterus, now something that this uterus causes me to do is bloating, but I also have a thing called tits. Now I dont know if you knew this but porn stars may have huge fucking tits and no fat but you know what that is? That's surgeries and dieting to one piece of food every week. Now do I feel like doing any of that? Fuck no, I'm confident in my body and I'll wear whatever the fuck I want no matter my size.

So here's for you fucks:

➖Number 3, some people are mad at me for keeping myself private? I made a post like 2 months ago I think now telling people that they dont know me, they only know what I wish to tell them and that I like to live a private life. The reason for this post? Because I had an anon send me a ask of my exact location and birth name, I am safe dont worry but the second that happened, I felt like I needed to set some kind of boundary because that was fucking creepy especially because at that time, I was living with my friend and her two year old daughter.

In that post I said "I care about all of you guys but I dont know you and you dont know me, what I say is what I choose to tell you guys." People took that is me referring to everyone as a number, once again my words being taken out of context

➖Number 4, look I'm not a licensed therapist so stop treating me like I am one. I'm human to and need my breaks. You can message me and send me as ask if you need somewhere to vent but how about we dont get pissed off at me if I dont answer immediately or if my advice isn't good enough. I dont have all the answers, I try to help with the knowledge that I have.

Also please put a trigger warning at the start of your ask, it just helps me be able to filter everything better and also stops people if they skim read and might be put into a bad place, it's just so helpful to do and it takes two seconds

➖Number five, calling me a groomer for interacting with minors...

*inhale* WHAT?! So you're telling me that me supporting talented writers who happen to be minors and being someone they can talk to and be like a parental figure to is me being a groomer? Huh?!

I'm sorry but that is completely bullshit, want to see a groomer? Look at someone like James Charles or Onison, get your head out of your ass

➖Number 6, the one that pisses me off the most. "You dont write enough", do you really think in any kind of small pea brain mind that people being rude to me about not writing enough is gonna make me want to write more? I took a break from writing in the first place because people were being dicks to me about it, saying oh you spelt this wrong, or this is so cringy, or stop making the person ooc.

I write for myself and I'm gonna be honest, I have many finished drafts and fic ideas but I dont want to post them because well I'm tired of being shitted on for every minor mistake.

➖look I'm not a perfect person and have never tried to come across as one. I fuck up and I'm sure you do too. At this rate with all the hate anons recently, I'm very close to turning off anon asks or just asks in general. But I don't want to do that because my anon asks are for people who want to vent but want to stay anonymous and I feel like that would take away that security of I turned it off.

Just let people exist and get your head out of your ass

#nocturnal vents

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atmilliways · 3 years

Note

As long as anybody didn’t find out, Pickles figured the worst scenarios he had conjured in his head would never happen.

[send me a sentence and i’ll write the next five or more lines]

You got it! This... turned out longer than five more lines, lol.

Snakes N Barrels era Charles/Pickles. Warning for one night stands, drug and alcohol mentions, questionable disguises, and Charles hitting the club with a briefcase that contains a book and condoms (just in case).

Bottles & Bodies

As long as nobody found out, Pickles figured the worst scenarios he had conjured in his head would never happen. The gossip, the cold shoulders, the colder looks . . . all the shit he’d left behind in Wisconsin, but would be so much worse to encounter again now, here, in the fucking tabloids and the faces of his bandmates, because he actually liked this life.

It wasn’t like he was ever going to fool around with any of the guys, even if Tony was pretty cute. As far as Pickles could tell none of the guys ate from both sides of the buffet anyway, and as a general rule the groupies were always girls, so it was easy enough to compartmentalize. When he was being Pickles, the rockstar, in his red gloves and makeup and tight, low-riding jeans, he hit on chicks; when he snuck out to gay bars as Pickles, just some dude, with his blue wristbands and no eyeliner or eyeshadow and slightly less teased hair and even tighter, sluttier jeans, he hit on dudes.

And usually, just to be on the safe side, he picked guys too loaded to pick him out of a lineup later.

So why. Why the fuck. Had he picked the most straight-laced looking guy in this bar to sidle up to and ask if he could buy him a drink?

Probably had something to do with the fact that he was a little cross faded on weed and booze. . . . But mostly it was that the guy—young, probably not much older than he was—was hot, and he’d wanted to so he’d gone in the bathroom to snort a little coke until it seemed like a better idea.

Hot in a preppy sort of way, admittedly, with the glasses and the blazer and the nearly combed hair, nursing a scotch and soda while reading something and taking notes in a steno pad at a small table in the corner. But once you got past that part, there was a serious set of his jaw, an intensity to his gaze as he focused on what he was reading despite the noise of the crowd, and a firm decisiveness in his hands that Pickles had found himself obsessing over in stolen glances for the past half an hour. Good shoulders, too, and Pickles suspected he was pretty fine under that blazer and button-down.

Pickles grabbed a chair from a nearby table and sat in it without bothering to turn it around, folding his arms across the top of it and grinning at the handsome stranger. “Hey, whatcha reading?”

“Naming, Necessity, and Natural Kinds, by Stephen P. Schwartz,” the guy reeled off automatically. When this wasn’t immediately followed by Pickles losing interest and wandering off, he glanced up and did a double take. “Wait. You’re, ah, Pickles. From Snakes N Barrels.”

For a fraction of a second, Pickles did his best impression of a deer in the headlights. Because yeah, lack of stage makeup wasn’t much of a disguise, but no one had ever actually called him on it before.

Then he recovered, and all his experience in bullshitting and performing under pressure kicked in. Pickles turned the wattage on his smile up a notch. “Heh, y’think? I could just be a handsome, sexy lookalike.”

The guy shook his head while still staring. “I’ve been to your shows,” he said with unshakable conviction. “I know it’s you.”

Without meaning to, Pickles laughed. “You have? Really?” He let his eyes rake pointedly up and down the other man, since he wanted to anyway. What he saw did not, in any way, scream Snakes N Barrels fan. For one thing, there was an honest to god briefcase wedged under his chair between his nice leather shoes. Not enough piercings or tats, for another—not that he could see at least, to which his lizard brain slyly added Yet.

After waiting patiently for his eyes to wander back up, the guy said seriously, “Really. You, ah.” Suddenly his confidence seemed to waver, even if his conviction didn’t, and he looked down at his book. “You stand out.”

Pickles considered. He wasn’t thinking too good at this point, which might possibly present a flaw in his whole ‘compartmentalization’ plan. . . . But he had a pretty good radar for when people were interested, and this guy was definitely pinging on it. And somehow, he didn’t really think that someone who’d brought heavy reading to a hookup den was the type to try blackmailing a celebrity in the bisexual closet. People like that had better things to do, right?

It didn’t mean everyone would find out.

He drummed his fingers on the top of his chair, barely heard it over the ambient noise of the bar around them, shrugged. What the hell. “Okay, you got me,” he said with a smirk, one he knew for a fact was particularly winning. Under the table, he stretched his leg out and rubbed the toe of one sneaker against the other man’s calf. “This your first brush with fame or are you jest happy to see me?”

There was a twitch of surprise at the sudden contact, but otherwise the guy held his ground. “Well, I, ah.” His face was reddening, though. “I like your, ah . . . music.”

“Thanks, dood.” With a wink, Pickles added, “What’s yer name, since you already know mine?”

“Charles.”

“Nice name,” he said, still feeling up the back of Charles’ leg with his foot. “So hey, Charlie. Wanna go appreciate my ‘music’ somewhere private?”

It was a stupid line and probably shouldn’t have worked, but the guy nodded and shut his book, using the steno pad as a bookmark. Pickles took the liberty of finishing the last of the stranger’s scotch and soda before getting up to leave the bar; Charles stowed his book in his briefcase and followed.

Stupid, impulsive, thinking with his dick instead of his brain as usual. . . . But hey, a guy’s gotta eat. Otherwise what was the point of it all, right?

They got a motel room a few blocks away, but not until after Pickles had pushed Charles against a few darkened brick walls along the way to give him a test drive. Charles kissed back hard, eagerly, like this was some sort of fantasy he’d never dreamed he’d get to live out. His hands ran down Pickles’ back to grab his ass and fuck he was unexpectedly strong. Pickles felt his feet practically leave the ground, literally, and moaned into it.

By the time they got into a room (which Charles had gamely gone into the motel office by himself to pay for), Pickles had him one zip away from pants-off. That was quickly taken care of, and shirt buttons undone, and sure enough, what he found underneath the crisp white shirt lived up to expectations and then some. Pickles dropped to his knees, shivering in approval when Charles’ hands went straight into his hair. He was less appreciative when he was held back from leaning forward.

“I, ah,” Charles panted, staring down at him with bruised lips and desire in his eyes. “I have condoms in, in my briefcase.”

Pickles quirked an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Well, it’s. . . . I mean, because, the bar. You, ah, never know, right?”

Probably smart.

Pickles rolled his eyes but got the condom, rolled it on with his mouth, and proceeded to suck his new friend’s brain out into the protective latex. Then he tossed Charles a washcloth and a fresh Trojan and put on a show of peeling out of the tight jeans and tight t-shirt, making strategic use of the motel lotion until they could get the new condom on and Pickles climbed atop him. He eased down with his head thrown back, scrambling without looking to find Charles’ hands and press them to his hips while his head floated and spun, the perfect high. At one point he realized that Charles had flipped them over, so smoothly he hadn’t even noticed, bending Pickles bare feet effortlessly back his ears as he thrust into him with the steadiness of a drumbeat, and it all felt so fucking good.

The other stuff was good too—the rush of being onstage, free booze and drugs, groupies whenever he wanted—but there was something in this that he needed just as much. Couldn’t give up one any more than the other, got the shakes if he went too long without it. He’d picked a good one tonight, too. Unlike his usual fare, Charles didn’t seem to be any more than slightly buzzed. Usually Pickles would be offering to share a little bit of his coke right now just to keep his pick of the night awake and functioning; instead, he was being steadily, blissfully fucked into the mattress with a controlled pressure that carried no hint of sloppiness, no possibility of passing out halfway through. Which was . . . kind of a first, and kind of felt like the best sex he’d ever had (without being on the really hard shit, at least, where it was more about the trip than the actual fucking anyway).

He almost wanted to offer a few lines anyway, just so this could go on all night. . . . But it hadn’t been all that long ago that he couldn’t afford to share, and old habits died hard, so he didn’t.

At one point Charles was sprawled across the bed, head resting on Pickles’ thigh as the musician leaned back against the pillows and well-rattled headboard, idly twisting short brown hair into tiny braids that wouldn’t stay. Charles’ eyes were mostly closed when he asked, matter of factly, “I’m not going to see you again, am I?”

Pickles chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before conceding, “Yeah, prahbly naht.” He yawned, then grimaced—damn accent always thickened up on him when he was tired or coming down, and right now he was both. “Sahhry. I mean, you can still come to shows and stuff, but. . . .”

“No, it’s fine. I understand.” Charles rolled over onto his elbows, looking up at Pickles. “Knowing it’s a one time thing takes, ah, takes some of the pressure off. I’m not, ah, very good at . . . this sort of thing, usually.” He paused, looking faintly embarrassed. “I, ah, say things like that, for example.”

“Dood, me neither,” Pickles said with a laugh. It was true, and he was a little relieved to hear the sentiment echoed by the other man. He wondered, briefly, if Charles would get all weird if he admitted that he slept with women too. A lot of guys did. But that was a mistake you only made . . . five, maybe eight times, outside of doing it on purpose to make sure these trysts ended when he needed them to. Not necessary in this case, where they both already seemed to be on the same page. He yawned again.

Men or women, all of his relationships came with an expiration date that could usually be measured in hours, and that mostly didn’t bother him because there were always others waiting when he turned around. Maybe he was kind of bummed to know that he’d never see this guy again, but he’d wake up in the morning and move on. There would always be another body to tumble into the next time he turned around to scratch this particular itch.

Several years later, past the band breaking up, past numerous auditions and brief stints as frontman for other groups that never really seemed to stick, after getting over the crushing reality of defeat and admitting to himself that he’d never be able to get his voice to go as heavy as he wanted, Pickles tapped the creased business card Nathan had given him on the edge of the desk and said, “So. . . . Hey.”

“Hi,” Charles replied blandly. His hairline was showing signs of beginning a slow retreat, there were lines around his mouth and eyes that hadn’t been there before, and he looked very professional and joyless in his gray suit and power tie, but it was definitely him. “So. You, ah, have a new band now.”

“Yep.” Pickles tapped the card on the desk again. It had been a very long time since he’d wondered any time he’d seen the name Charles or any of the variations if it would turn out to be that Charles. . . . Honestly, he’d probably only done it for a few weeks before the booze and drugs had washed away any certainty that he’d even remembered the name right. He definitely hadn’t walked into this appointment with a potential manager for the newly formed Dethklok expecting this blast from the past.

“And you’re . . . not the frontman.”

That wasn’t phrased as a question, so Pickles just shrugged. “Yeah, that’s Nathan. He’s the one who called. He’d’ve come, but he had work today, so, y’know. Here I am.” He shrugged again. “I’m the drummer.”

“I, ah, see.” Charles wrote something on his steno pad. It was, upon craning very unsubtly to see, the words Pickles the Drummer. “Nathan didn’t, ah, mention that over the phone.”

“Yeah, he’s not real chatty. Good guy though.” Pickles saw the faintest hint of questioning look and felt a sudden, uncharacteristic surge of embarrassed defensiveness over, essentially, nothing. “Not that he’s, I mean, we aren’t, no way, uh, no.”

Fuck, he regretted ever learning how to talk as a kid. But he’d never been stuck in a conversation with someone who had this particular dirt on him before—even though, technically, he had the same dirt on Charles. The 90’s were almost less forgiving of that shit than the 80’s had been, in their own way. Anxious and fidgety, Pickles started patting his pockets, looking for cigarettes or something.

Charles put his pen down with a sigh and took off his glasses, studiously wiping them with a handkerchief. They hadn’t seemed dirty a second ago.

“Pickles. . . . If you’re worried about, ah, my discretion, I can assure you that I am a professional. We don’t have to discuss our, ah, shared. . . . The fact that we’ve met before. With your band mates, or even with each other, unless you chose to do so. Either way, you can consider that information, ah, confidential.” The handkerchief disappeared into a pocket, and Charles put his glasses back on. “And I, ah, hope that you would do me the same courtesy. Particularly if I do become Dethklok’s manager.”

There the damn smokes were. Pickles tugged the squashed, mostly empty pack out of his back pocket, but paused in the middle of shaking one out as the words sank in. “. . . Wait, you really wanna manage us?”

“Of course. The demo tape you sent me showed a huge amount of promise, especially considering it wasn’t recorded professionally.”

“Damn right it wasn’t,” Pickles scoffed, jamming the cigarette in his mouth and distractedly resuming his self-frisking, this time for a lighter. “Had to record it on a fuckin’ two year old Talkboy that Magnus stole from his niece. Thing’s a piece of shit. Where’d I fuckin’ put—”

A flick of a lighter snagged his attention, and he glanced up to see Charles holding one, already lit. It was one of the windproof ones, matte black and heavy looking. Metal, Pickles thought, and leaned forward to touch the tip of his cigarette to the lick of flame, wondering idly if it was monogrammed. He tried to remember if they’d smoked anything that night, but came up blank and felt . . . weirdly disappointed in himself for not knowing.

“You want one?” he asked, and hoped he sounded casual instead of probing.

Charles shook his head. “No, I don’t smoke, I just, ah, just work with a lot of people who do.”

Pickles sat back, taking a deep drag and sighing out smoke. It was strange how this encounter was making him a little nostalgic—or maybe just making him stupid. Sure, that one night stand still stood out in his memory as the best sex he’d ever had, but it had only been one night. They didn’t actually know each other, probably didn’t have anything in common. In the space of this one meeting they’d probably exchanged more words than they had back then. But. . . .

There was something about Charles, even older. Even in that boring suit. A flicker of something—subdued interest, maybe?—dancing behind the flame as he’d conscientiously offered to light Pickles’ cigarette.

He hadn’t felt the itch for a while, but something about Charles suddenly had him itching like crazy.

“. . . Okay then, chief. We need a manager, you want to manage us, sounds like a good deal to me.” Pickles took a long drag on his cigarette and then smirked, one he knew for a fact was particularly winning. Just because the wristbands he had on now were black, his hair was tamped down into dreadlocks and his goatee long shaved off, and his jeans were loose enough to give his balls some room to breathe, that didn’t mean he couldn’t still live a little.

After all, he didn’t have any stage make-up on. That made him, for the moment, just some dude. And Charles, well . . . he could clearly keep a secret. It didn’t mean anyone would find out.

Pickles leaned forward, resting both elbows on the edge of Charles’ desk as he said, “Why don’t you tell me what you like about my music?”

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse fanfic #chickles #chuckles #charles/pickles #snakes n barrels era pickles

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rumor-imbris · 3 years

Note

Ciao! Guarda chi arriva, tua fatina!

What are your thoughts on the AC3 novel "Forsaken"?

La fatina Giulietta✨

I thought i found some fairy dust on my inbox and here is the Fatina indeed! n_n

I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of non-main game material and I usually don't consider it canon, exept for some events and things. I've read only a part of the novel and let me say it is good as far as it deals with Haytham's early life and training, though when it comes to his relationship with Connor it totally derails into almost a bad AU. Major events completely clash with what we see in the game and that messes up everything to me; just like when Charles Lee informs Haytham about Ziio's death, so out of contest and wrong as we know well that in the main game he learns that from Connor in the mission Father and Son.

Also, what in my opinion is not really believable is that Haytham saved Connor's life at the execution and not the Assassins... That's a hard one to put on the table and make believe, honestly! I felt that in the novel they desperately tried to sweeten Haytham and make him appear like the good but cold missed father which he is not and that's called fan service.

Now I'm only being harsh on this because I don't like this kind of things, even if I myself had wanted things between Connor and Haytham to end in a better way, if only for my beloved's sake. But one of the things that made AC3 and the events in it very special and fascinating is quite the tormented father and son relationship these two characters have, belonging to opposite factions, being Haytham extremely cynical and Connor so morally inclined. You cannot mess all of this up just because someone complainted about them not ending up being father and son of the year -.-'

So, in the end, no I don't consider it canon and I do not appreciate it, just like all the extra AC material being very incongruent with the main games. Speaking of which, I'm not going to mention a certain nonsense, Disney-like, stupid comic; please never mention it or ask me about it because that'll wake up the furious dragon in me and I'd start splitting fire all over on how those things are totally inconsistent and bullshit. Though I'm a (dark) lady and I don't mean to bother you with such unpleasant inanities.

Sorry for another long answer and for letting the jelous witch in me come out sometimes, I hope you can forgive me. You know me well by now though!

Thank you for you ask again ^-^ I'll be waiting for your cute wings to fly you back to me next time!

Tight hugs

- Rumor Imbris 🦋

#ask #ask me anything #La Fatina Giulietta #friends #if you guys love me do not ever mention that fucking Reflections comic or I'll turn from a cute Evee pokemon to a raging Smaug thanks ^-^#I love you too #you all are warned xD

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newagesispage · 3 years

Text

JULY 2021

THE RIB PAGE

*****

They are still uncovering statues on Easter Island.

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Everyone is talking about ‘Exterminate all the Brutes” from Raoul Peck.

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Vampire bats, prevalent in Latin America may be on the way to the U.S.

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What they call faith, I call strength.

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Criss angel will open CABLP, a restaurant in Overton, Nevada. The letters stand for breakfast, lunch and pizza and will include a free meal outreach program to help under privileged and pediatric cancer families.

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A fifth ocean in Antartica??** There have also found 4 new ocean species: Apolemia, Tegula Kusairo, Leptarma Biju and Duobrachium Sparksae.

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In China they have found a possible new species in a skull that is 140,000 years old.

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Why would Jeffrey Toobin be back at CNN?? Surely there are more young deserving talking heads around.

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The Keystone pipeline is dead.

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5,000 pounds of explosives were discovered in a home in South LA. LAPD seems to have detonated the fireworks in a truck right there in the neighborhood. They were too dangerous to transport but not enough to blow them up??? How stupid are these people??

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Days alert : So glad to see Clyde again even if it is only for a moment!! **BTW, I do not understand the Daytime Emmy noms this year as they relate to Days. I really was pulling for Victoria Koneful (Ciara) and she won but George DelHoya (Orpheus), Tamara Braun (Ava) and Cady McClain (Jennifer)??? I was shocked when Cady McClain won. I mean, she was so whiny. I question my own ability to judge a performance. In most categories, the winner was usually the one I thought was the worst option. I was happy for Max Gail and CBS Sunday Morning. Some performances were sure overlooked. What about James Read (Clyde), Paul Telfer (Xander), Bryan Dattilo (Lucas), Robert Scott Wilson (Ben), Daniel Kerr (Eli) and Lindsay Arnold (Allie) ?? As annoying as the Kristen character is and as long as it took me to get used to Stacy Haiduk in the role, she kicked ass this year. Did they even submit clips?? And, they are not often on but Tony and Anna forever!!!!!!** And how wonderful is it to see the Dimera boys all together and recounting the whole fam for the votes? **And one more thing, Days was not even nominated for writing while Bold and the Beautiful spends every other show with the Liam character standing in front of the fireplace making excuses for the same shit! Just push repeat, C,mon!!**Philip had a great line for Brady about following Kristen like a zombie.** Dis Eli really say, “Peacock and chill??’ Are these the things they will have to do to do to stay on the air? It took me right out of the show. It was the same day the ads for Days on Peacock started. OMG

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Texas Gov. Abbott vetoed a bill that would make it illegal to chain up dogs without water.**ATexas churches have lost their 501(c) (3) status because it actively ‘educates’ its members on electing specific Republican politicians. –Pete West* This should have been happening long ago. Many churches I know of do this and should not be allowed to have it both ways. #tax the church

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Ellen Burstyn, Jane Curtin, Loretta Devine, Christopher Lloyd, James Caan, French Stewart and Ann-Margaret in Queen Bees and directed by Michael Lembeck?? Yes please!!

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NY has suspended Giuliani’s law license.

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Miracle Workers: The Oregon Trail is coming to TBS, this will be season 3 in the series.

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What is this about Bowen Yang?? A podcast about a sperm bank heist?? Yeow!!

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David Geffen has given $150,000,000 to Yale drama school: Every student will be tuition- free in perpetuity.

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Allison Mack was sentenced to 3 years.

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The latest in sexual assault news: James Franco has agreed to 2.2 mil settlement in sexual misconduct case.** Kyle Massey was charged with immoral communication with a minor.**Bill Cosby is out and here are some reactions: A terrible wrong is being righted.: a miscarriage of justice is corrected. I fully support survivors of sexual assault coming forward.- Phylicia Rashad*I really don’t ever want to hear again as to why many survivors don’t report their rape or assault.- Charlotte Clymer* Women are showing great restraint in not burning everything to the ground right now and I don’t know how they do it.-Jeff Tiedrich

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Amazon is making a series of A League of Their Own with Nick Offerman as the coach.

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Does anyone else have family members that are rich, transient, know it all snobs??

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It looks like New York’s ranked choice voting is leaning toward Eric Adams for Mayor.

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Michigan republicans investigating voter fraud found 2 incidents. One is for a lady who voted by mail and then died, the other was confusion over a man who had the same name as his Father. That was it!

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Jamie Lee Curtis will get the Golden Lion for lifetime achievement at the 78th Venice International Film Fest in September.

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Jerry Seinfeld will star in and direct ‘Unfrosted’ about Pop-Tarts.

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Why is Airbnb still listing properties in illegal settlements and outposts in Palestinian occupied territories? –James J. Zogby

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Merrick Garland has announced that the Justice department sued Georgia over the voting rights.

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The NFL says that it will halt the use of “race norming” which assumed black players started out with lower cognitive functioning in a $1 billion settlement of brain injury claims. The practice had made it harder for black players to qualify. –The Associated Press.

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Scary Clown 45 ended his ‘From the desk of Donald J. Trump’ blog after 29 days. Word is that he felt he was being mocked in the media.

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Religious leadership keeps engaging in partisan politics on behalf of politicians that are particularly unpopular with younger people and they wonder why younger people are disenchanted with the church. – Schooley ** Give young people credit as well for seeing through the hype and lies of these religious hypocrites who use God only as a weapon and a threat. –Larry Charles

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Amazon will stop drug testing for employment. Can every other company jump on this bandwagon? Let’s judge employees on the work they give.

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The Backstreet Boys and NSync are going to work together??!!

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Showtime is bringing back American Gigolo with Jon Bernthal.

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If Biden can carry out air strikes without proper authorization, the Senate can raise the minimum wage without the Parliamentarian. –Alexandra M. Hunt

Reality Winner is out!!

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Judy Woodruff has been given the Peabody award for journalistic integrity.

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Donald Glover is bringing us Hive. Malia Obama will be a writer.

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Nicholas Cage has married Riko Shibata.

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Catch and Kill: The podcast tapes, is here on HBO.

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Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening will star in Jerry and Marge go large.

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Amblin Partners and Netflix are partners.

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Fall 2022 will bring the Roybal School of film and television production for underserved communities. They are looking to help 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade students. Among others, the program was cofounded by George Clooney, Don Cheadle, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling and Eva Longoria.

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Will there be a Wedding Crashers2??

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The Mysterious Benedict Society stars Tony Hale.** I would love to see he and Danny Pudi in something together.

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Actor Stephen Amell from Arrow was removed from a plane after getting into it with his wife. A source said he was drunk and screaming. An official source said that they removed “an unruly customer.”** Andy Dick was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, allegedly assaulting his partner, Lucas with a metal chair.

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So.. Fox news was digitally altering the faces of people they did not care for??? Is there no end to their bullshit????

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Mark Ronson is set to marry Grace Gummer.

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Crime shows seem to be in the cycle of prisoners and the women who get a thrill from helping them escape.

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Wolfgang Van Halen has released a debut album: Mammoth

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Everyone seems to love Danny Trejo’s memoir and its honesty.

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David Spade will take over as host of Bachelor in Paradise.

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I am sickened when I see the first question that pops up on an online search is the net worth of a person. Oh this twisted world.

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Life is a short pause between 2 great mysteries. –Jung

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Prince Harry and Meghan had a daughter that they named Lilibet ‘Lili” Diana.

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Michael Flynn’s brother Charles (who withheld help from the capitol on Jan. 6), leads the U.S. Army Pacific and commands 90,000 troops.

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I am so excited to read ‘The Boys’ from Clint and Ron Howard, due out in October.

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Dave Chappelle closed out the Tribeca film fest with a surprise concert. This was the first in person film fest since Covid. Look for This time, this place which premiered there.

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Ron Wood will release the album Mr. Luck: A tribute to Jimmy Reed on Sept. 3

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Howard Stern signed a new $500 mil contract with Sirius XM. He is taking the whole summer off and many fans say they will cancel their subscription because they don’t want to pay for a summer of reruns.

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Acorn will bring Jane Seymour back to a series. Seymour will be co -executive produce on Harry Wild. Her character will be a retired University professor who loves her whiskey and solves crimes.

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Annie Murphy stasr in ‘Kevin can f*** himself about a sitcom wife which airs on AMC.

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I still do not understand why Rep. Mike Nearman hasn’t been arrested for letting insurrectionists into the Capitol.

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There is a wing shortage??

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The Pulitzer prizes have been announced. The list includes Ben Faub, Barry Blitt, Katori Hall, Emilio Morenatti, AP photographers Marcio Jose Sanchez, Alex Brandon, David Goldman, Julio Cortez, John Minchillo, Frank Franklin II, Ringo H.W. Chiu, Evan Vucci, Mike Stewart and Noah Berger. There was a special citation for Darnella Frazier who filmed the death of George Floyd.

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Conan’s last TBS guests were Martin Short, Jack Black, Bill Hader, Mila Kunis, Dana Carvey, Patton Oswalt and JB Smoove. There were some surprises. The big musical number never happened when Jack Black hurt himself. It was all funny and sweet but Conan never mentioned the band in the last show WTF????????????????????????????????????????? Music is so important to him and he does not thank the band? ** Colbert and Brian Stack gave Conan a cute send after4, 368 shows on CBS calling him a ‘Slenderman Ron Weasly’. Kimmel wished Conn well also.** Hope his HBO MAX variety show goes well.** BTW, the Duvall interview with Colbert was great to see but why does nobody ever mention ‘Get Low?’ What a performance!!

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Tattoos are on the rise.

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Fast food drive thru’s sometime close with fake excuses like the equipment is down or something because they don’t feel like working. Good people can’t find work and so many waste the opportunities they have. AAAAGHH!!

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Valerie Bertinelli and Demi Lovato will star in ‘Hungry’ on NBC.

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Hulu will bring us David E. Kelley’s Nine Perfect Strangers with Nicole Kidman, Michael Shannon, Regina Hall, Bobby Cannavale and Melissa McCarthy.

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R.I.P. Gavin Macleod, Frank Bonner, Joy Vogelsang, Benigno Aquino, Champ Biden, victims of the Miami building collapse, Robert Sacchi, Stuart Damon, Johnny Solinger and Clarence Williams III.

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