Literally less than 5 minutes ago, I finished persona 3 reload. Of course, spoilers and very self indulgent rambles ahead.

I am not good with my words...but I absolutely need to say something. I have never had a story resonate with me as deeply as persona 3's did. No piece of media, not a show nor a book or any other game had me closing my eyes and heaving in silence as I sobbed. What a beautiful story. What a bold move, to base it on such a daring concept. What is the meaning of life? Why do we exist?

Aigis' 9th social link is the most precious to me. One of the most important lines to was.. "I think that might be the true joy of being alive...It can be sad, but as the same time so warm...Beautiful because it is destined to end." Both Kaminari and Aigis drive the bittersweet beauty of life home. To fight for what you can change. And to accept what you can't.

As someone who struggled with the concept of death and the meaning of life, playing this game actually put it to rest, completely. I used to randomly get panicked about my death, and what would follow. That I hadn't yet truly lived. That my life hadn't even begun. I truly treasure what learnt from this story. I feel like it has changed my outlook on the world. The real meaning of life isn't about living every single possible moment to it's fullest, getting top marks and becoming rich. It can be that time you laughed so hard with your friend you got stitches. It can be the time you spend on your hobbies, as useless as some people would describe them. It can be when you rushed outside to take a look at a rainbow, the sunset, or the moon.

This game did something illegal to my tear ducts. Cried at Shinji's eulogy, (as well as hearing his voice during the very last fight.."alright, let's end this" I covered my mouth and that's when my crying session began for tonight.) Cried at Chidori's death. However, I cried especially the day before March 5th, when you can just check in on your social links. Straight up started sobbing when I heard Miyamoto's knee was healed, when Keisuke told me about his new and improved outlook on life, as well as when I got news about Maiko's new entire life. And I have cried numerous other times throughout the game for various reasons. Everyone grew in ways I cannot even begin to put into words. I am truly, irrevocably touched by the narrative and the characters it presents. With absolutely no doubts in my mind, persona 3 is the best game I have ever played.

Do not EVER play 'memories of you' around me.

My review of Willy’s Wonderland (2021)

Spoilers!

Very interesting movie! Clearly made to capitalize of the fame of Five Nights at Freddie’s, but I can appreciate its charm.

I love the animatronics especially, so unique and uncanny, very five nights with the big eyes and faces, but also different.

My favorite aspect, however, is The Janitor! My take on him is that he had some form of ocd, and has to follow the schedule he sets to the letter. You can see he has some semblance of a mental battle when leaving Liv with Cammy, and he gives her a box cutter, but he physically cannot disobey his compulsion to follow his schedule. He’s very much a silent protagonist. I think he can speak, but just doesn’t feel the need to.

The breaks are interesting. I heard them called a level up sequence, but I saw them more as saves. The break room being a safe room and the pinball machine being the save mechanic (gave me RE vibes?)

He’s definitely nerodivergent to some degree and likely doesn’t know how to properly interact with people, but I found him charming, even if he’s as robotic as the animatronics sometimes.

I don’t understand like any other character motivations. Sheriff let him kill them all? I kinda get it but still.

Another thing I hated was the exposition. So much exposition! Let us discover it and theorize! Give us half baked theories that are proved wrong, newspaper clippings, and environmental indicators! Let us discover on our own, that was what made FNaF special! Make people love the mystery.

I don’t know how to feel about Liv but I’ll chock it up to rockin ptsd and bad parenting. She’s got spirit atleast.

I’ve never been more attracted to Nick Cage??

I know there wasn’t the budget for it, but it would have been cool to see the animatronics degrade more and more, like the victims each get in a hit that is clearly seen after to show us they are mortal? Idk. Same with Cage, he’s just so indestructible there’s no real stakes.

Cleaning Simulator.

I love the atmosphere! It definitely gives the right vibes.

Victim blaming. Man she must have been a horrible mother.

Destroying all his hard work :( man has to clean over and over.

The editing nearly gave me a seizure lol, saw all over again.

Very fun watch.

I feel like the offering of soda is practically a marriage proposal for him.

Electric Feel - Tom Hiddleston smut

The one where Tom moved in to help you, but you end up helping each other.

Warnings: porn with a very unecessary and minimal plot, smut, dom!female, sub!Tom, masturbation (m), oral sex (f), mistress kink, brief mention of a stalker, actress!reader

Word count: 2k<

A/N: This is so small compared to everything @just-the-hiddles​ deserves, but it’s her birthday and I just couldn’t let it go by without a token of my gratitude, love and admiration! Happy birthday, Liz! I hope you know how much I care about you! ALSO: unedited for the moment because I just started and finished this entire thing in the last six hours when I should be studying but oh well.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I didn’t remember stopping to think for a single second ever since I saw the news. My fingers acted on their own accord, hitting those numbers I had memorized so long ago, raising the phone to my ear as I waited for her to pick up.

“Hello?” Hearing her voice didn’t calm me down like I expected it would. I realized then, I’d only feel tranquil once more when I could see her with my own eyes, touch her skin, feel her warmth.

“Darling? How are you?” I still asked, almost automatically, and if I had hoped she would at least be well enough to pretend to be okay, the sharp inhale that preceded her burst into tears shattered that illusion in a second. “I’m on my way.”

And that was how I ended up in her house in what felt like the blink of an eye. The trip there could have lasted days - all that mattered was that the second I had my arms wrapped around her, everything felt alright again.

“It’s okay,” I soothed her, but it was probably better directed at myself. “I’m here now.” It took at least a day before I was comfortable enough to ask her about it. “How did they find the guy?” When she latched onto a detailed explanation of the events from the last week, how she’d started receiving random death threats that suddenly weren’t so random anymore, I felt almost like I wasn’t even there, but floating over the living room, watching us talk from the outside looking in.

I held her close for a long time after that, unable to admit even to myself that not feeling her body against mine made me feel empty and weak. And so the feeling of protectiveness stirred awake inside of me - or maybe it had been there all along, I just failed to acknowledge it.

All I knew was that inserting myself into Y/N’s daily life was much easier than I ever expected it to be. And even if I told both her and myself that this was for her own safety, because she needed someone around until she felt comfortable by herself again, I knew it was more for my own benefit than anything else.

I just didn’t anticipate it would make my feelings that much harder to deal with. Did I know that I wanted her? Yes, maybe even ever since we’d met. And as our friendship progressed and we became closer, I saw that desire develop into something deeper, more solid. Still, I stupidly believed it was nothing more than a crush, and I’d be able to pretend it didn’t exist and get on with my life day after day like it wasn’t there.

Now that my days began and ended with her, I was highly aware of my mistake.

“Tommy,” she called out, making me lift my eyes from the tv and fall on her and the dog she currently tried to control. “I’m going to take her for a walk, okay?” I sat up automatically, ready to join her, when I felt a hand over my shoulder, gently pushing me back against the sofa.

“C’mon, finish the movie!” She admonished, a knowing grin on her face. “I think there’s a scene coming up with someone you particularly enjoy. I’m just going into the backyard, no need to worry.”

Even though I stayed seated where she’d left me, my eyes trailed over her figure as she disappeared inside the kitchen, until I heard the backdoor close. Despite knowing there was no possible immediate danger to her inside the boundaries of her own home, I couldn’t help but worry.

That was until a moan caught my attention, bringing it back to the tv once more. It sounded so familiar and so foreign at the same time, I was instantly intrigued, eyebrows furrowed as I struggled to identify the young woman that was being so brutally fucked by the main protagonist in a dark club.

My mouth hang open once the lighting changed and her face became recognizable, those same alluring features tempting me just as much as they tempted the character on the screen. So this was what she meant, I didn’t even know she was on this movie when I first picked it out. 

I could feel my member hardening inside my sweatpants as her beautiful, melodic voice kept tempting me, and I grit my teeth as I chanced a glance at the kitchen, wondering how long I had before she was back. Not enough, I knew that. Still, looking down at my crotch made me believe it was worth at least a try, because the alternative was her surely seeing just how affected her little scene had made me.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The silence in the living room was my first indication that something was different, and as I stepped foot in the place where I’d left Tom not even five minutes ago, I realized my intuition was right - he’d abandoned the movie and left me alone in the main floor of the house.

Maybe he wanted to take a shower, or answer a call? I didn’t know, but I figured I should let him know I was back before he got worried, so I climbed up the stairs two at a time before stopping in front of the guest room he’d been staying in, suddenly frozen by what I heard.

“Y/N…” It was my name, breathed out in a whiney, raspy moan that left me no doubt over what was happening behind the door I now clutched so tightly. My mind drifted back to the movie we’d been watching, the scene I knew he’d see. Had I been the cause for his arousal?

My body acted of its own accord, the week of emotional tension before he arrived, replaced by the sexual energy that was always present whenever he was around finally getting the best of me. 

I opened the door. His hand was curled around a large member, the sight of which had me whimpering as I clenched my thighs together, alerting me of my entrance. His eyes, which were closed, immediately widened upon seeing me, and he tried to cover his erection with both hands, even if it was obviously not possible to do so. 

“Why are you shy?” I asked, head tilted as I analyzed the man before me, my mouth watering at the sight. I was desperate to give in to this desire, let go of the fears and anxieties that had been clawing at me ever since the first message arrived, and so I climbed on the bed like he was my prey, determined to make him crack and admit his own attraction to me.

“You called my name,” I noticed once I was on his lap, eyes taking inventory of every inch of pretty skin I couldn’t wait to bruise. “Don’t you want me?” At the sound of the insecurity in my voice, he jolted, eager to show that there wasn’t a reason for there to be any.

“Of course I do.” Smiling, I hummed appreciatively as I licked my lips, eyes darting down and seeing that he still hadn’t resumed his movements on his cock, even though it clearly needed some attention.

“Then why don’t you touch yourself while I suck little lovebites all over you huh?” Finally, I enveloped his pink lips with mine, eager to taste them, touch his tongue with mine. But I needed to see him cum way too badly, and I craved the control I knew I could exercise with him.

So I forced myself to pull away, laying kisses down his jaw until I reached his neck, starting to bite and suck there at the sound of his whines. Below us, I noticed he had started jerking off again, although hesitantly, and so I covered his hand with mine and forced him to get back to his previous pace.

“Show me how much you desired me,” I ordered, as he instantly fought back, “Kiss me again.” It was such a sweet request, and particularly in the breathless tone he tried to make petulant, it made me even more excited to play with the man I had wanted for so long. 

“But do you really deserve another kiss?” I taunted, pressing them on his chest, on his biceps, anywhere other than his lips. He was breathing through his mouth now, long deep sighs being interjected by his moans and whines, and it all went straight to my panties. 

“Yes,” he insisted, hand tightening around himself and a delicious blush spreading over his chest as I sat back on by heels to judge the hauntingly tempting image before me. He bit his lower lips in an effort to hold back his own sounds, but as I got rid of my clothes, his efforts proved fruitless, and a wanting cry escaped his throat as I forced him to quicken his movements once more.

“Oh, I see…” I wasn’t done teasing him, not by a long shot. “You’ve wanted me all along, haven’t you?” All he could do was nod, and I could see the underlying shyness in his reluctance to admit it. 

“Well, I’ve wanted you too, baby. And right now, I want to suck you off until my jaw is sore, how does that sound like?” Another moan was all I got as a response, making me smile wider than I’d ever done before.

“But I don’t think you’ve earned it yet. So for now, all I’ll let you do is keep touching yourself while you suck on my tits, how about that?” His eyelids were heavy when he looked at me, having to throw his head back to be able to meet my eyes.

“Fuck… It’s… perfect.” I cooed at how wrecked he looked like, even with how little I’d touched him, my navel brushing his member briefly as we adjusted ourselves so he could wrap his lips around my nipple.

“Oh…” I gasped in delight as tingles raised up my spine at the pleasant sensation, and between us, I could feel his movements growing more desperate as my moans replaced his in the otherwise silent bedroom.

When I felt him spill all over my stomach, I pulled him away from my chest by my grip on his locks, finally giving him what he wanted and capturing his lips with mine once more. “Hmm…” I moaned once we parted and I’d scooped some of his release to give it a taste. “So sweet.”

Tom was looking at me like I was some sort of extraterrestrial being, chest visibly heaving in his effort to keep breathing. “Can I taste you know?” He at last managed to ask, and I pretended to think, before gently nudging him out of the bed and onto the floor. 

“Yes,” I approved, wrapping his curls around my fingers again before bringing him down to the apex of my thighs, moaning as his tongue eagerly plunged inside of me, eager to get acquainted with the most intimate part of my body. “Who would have known you could be such a submissive little thing, huh?”

When he raised his head to answer, just the sight of my wetness dripping from the lower part of his face had my heart skipping a beat. “You should have known… A single word from you and I’d drop to my knees and worship you like you deserve… Mistress.”

Racism in the Marvel fandom as seen through the number of fanworks per M/M ship on AO3

I talked about this on Twitter, but I'm posting it here with tweaks and additions.

A couple of notes about the ship selection process:

I focused on M/M ships here as they're the biggest and most common on AO3 overall and, for the most part, the Marvel fandom

I put aside my personal feelings, so the following selection ranges from my OTP and ships I like to ships I dislike or am squicked by and NOTPs. The big ships and crack/niche ships are ones that have the most popular male characters or I’ve seen come up the most often, but I'm sure the pattern is consistent with more minor characters and subfandoms with fewer works

I focused on ships that exist in the MCU (film side only, no TV), only or in addition to other universes, just to simplify things. The MCU fandom is the biggest, and it gets complicated once you throw in other universes considering the vastness of the Marvel multiverse

I looked at the overall fanwork count for the ships rather than fanworks for that ship in the MCU tag as people tend to miscategorize their works

As of 6/19/20:

AO3 fanworks of big MCU/MCU-based ships: 

Steve/Bucky: 50,501 

Steve/Tony: 36,638 

Loki/Thor: 13,071

Clint/Coulson: 10,940

Loki/Tony: 9,880

Bucky/Tony: 7,504

Spideypool: 7,271

Starker: 6,073 

Ironstrange: 4,844 

Bruce/Tony: 4,734

Bucky/Clint: 3,841

Stuckony: 2,331

AO3 fanworks of MCU/MCU-based ships with 1 or more POC where the characters interact a few times, have meaningful relationships with each other, or have genuine or crack potential: 

Sam/Bucky: 3,023

Steve/Sam: 2,908

Rhodey/Tony: 1,434

Erik/T'Challa: 578 

Ned/Peter: 429

Coulson/Fury: 264

M'Baku/T'Challa: 155 

Rhodey/Sam: 149

Strange/Wong: 82 

Heimdall/Thor: 50

Scott/Jimmy Woo: 36

Scott/Luis: 24

Fury/Pierce: 16 (fandom is also ageist)

The disparity between the two lists is particularly egregious when you consider:

Clint and Coulson had 17 seconds of dialogue and 7 lines with each other and never interacted again after Thor. This is a generous estimate as I included pauses

Loki and Tony haven't interacted since The Avengers 

The only time Bucky and Tony as a duo and Steve, Bucky, Tony as a trio interact is in the bunker in Siberia

Spideypool includes a character who isn't even in the MCU

Ironstrange didn't exist or really exist in MCU fanworks before 2018, and Tony and Strange only communicate once in their second movie together, with Strange holding up his finger silently 

Bucky and Clint never interact with each other

I’ll be focusing on the Captain America, Avengers, and Iron Man subfandoms first as those are the three biggest in the MCU. Before I start, here's my thread from last year about some of the ships I’ll be mentioning. 

Okay. How does Bucky/Tony have 6,070 more fanworks than Rhodey/Tony and 4,481 more than Sam/Bucky and Bucky/Clint have 818 more than Sam/Bucky? How do Loki/Tony and Ironstrange have 8,446 and 3,410 more fanworks than Rhodey/Tony, respectively, and Stuckony almost as many as Steve/Sam?

The gap is especially glaring when you compare Steve/Bucky and Steve/Tony to Steve/Sam, Sam/Bucky, and Rhodey/Tony; however, though it's important to point out that wide gulf, I lose my mind more over the fact that ships with white characters who have never interacted or only exchanged a few lines (Clint/Coulson never even STAND IN THE SAME ROOM, and they're one of the top ships!) have more fanworks than ships with POC who do or have potential. 

I will point out that at least with the MCU Spider-Man and Black Panther fandoms, you do see some diversity with their big ships (I’m including some M/F ships here to make a point in the next paragraph). MJ/Peter has 3,518 fanworks, and in addition to the two T’Challa ships above, Nakia/T’Challa has 286, MJ/Shuri 220, Bucky/Shuri 210, and Peter/Shuri 140 (Black Panther is a much smaller fandom, but some ship numbers are higher if you put BP and non-BP characters together, e.g., Tony/T’Challa (405) and Bucky/T’Challa (345). 

It's important to note, however, that these two films are significantly more racially diverse than all other MCU films; in fact, they're very much the outliers. These ships and Ned/Peter are also heavy indicators of racism in this fandom. These numbers are very low compared to the big ships, and there are fewer works for these fandoms especially in BP’s case. Additionally, ships with white non-BP characters rank second, third, sixth, and eighth in the fandom (Bucky isn’t a BP character as he is only in the post-credits scene). Nakia/T’Challa is canon but outranked by Tony/T’Challa and Bucky/T’Challa, and all other ships with only BP characters, not listed here as the numbers are much lower other than M’Baku/T’Challa (second-lowest among the listed), are outranked by all the ships with white non-BP characters. 

To sum up everything I said above:

white M/M ships are extremely overrepresented by a huge margin, even if they have little to no canonical basis

interracial ships are poorly represented even if the characters have meaningful relationships or potential (and even if they clearly have all the traits that would ensure that they would be a big ship had the character of color been white)

the ships with the least representation by a longggggg mile are ones that involve only POC. Their fanwork count is, aside from Erik/T’Challa (578), in the low 100s and 200s. Countless ships are below the 100 mark. 

If you want to make this even more infuriating, here's a random selection of white (or in one case, AI) crack ships and ships that are more niche that I’ve seen to compare to the ships of color above: 

Clint/Tony: 1,423

Loki/Steve: 1,251 

Clint/Steve: 986 

Bucky/Rumlow: 984 

Clint/Pietro: 837 

Hydrahusbands: 770 

Grandmaster/Loki: 633 

Steve/Rumlow: 547 

Steve/Howard: 457 

JARVIS/Tony: 414

And just for the hell of it because Darcy, a minor character who appears in only two movies and last appeared in 2013, shows up all the time in MCU fanworks (17,004 (these include ones where she’s not paired with anyone)) and is probably one of the top three or four little black dresses/fandom bicycles: 

Darcy/Steve: 3,013

Darcy/Bucky: 2,640

Darcy/Loki: 1,558

Darcy/Clint: 1,107

Darcy/Steve/Bucky: 676

Darcy/Tony: 326

The Darcy situation is a post for another day (she has more fanworks than all other female characters except ~3 women), but in the context of this post, it’s absurd that nearly all of the non-canonical ships above which feature characters whom Darcy has never interacted with (I don’t even remember if Darcy interacted with Loki) have more fanworks than the listed ships of color.

That said, if you like the aforementioned white M/M ships, even if they have little to no canonical basis, that's okay. Anything goes in fandom. It IS a problem, though, if you have more than one ship, but ALL of them are white M/M ships or, if you like F/F and M/F, those are also all white. If you only create and consume works for a single ship, which a good number of people do (many people only get into a fandom because of an OTP!), it's fine if it's a white M/M ship. Honestly, it’s not that surprising either considering most of the screen time and meaty development is given to white characters because of racism (that's a post for another day). However, it IS a problem if most or all of your other ships across your current and previous fandoms are white—and if the only media you consume is predominantly or all white.

This post is longer than planned, but tl;dr, fandom has a racism problem which is nothing new, and we should all examine the following and see and remedy any implicit biases that we have:

our feelings about different characters and relationships, both platonic and romantic

our decision whether or not to seek or make content with characters of color. This includes content with your white ships that have POC in the work because sometimes every other white character in the MCU show up except them or all of them play bigger roles than the POC despite their relationship with the protagonist(s)

the way we interpret and write/draw those characters. For example, is Sam a yes-man? An unofficial or official therapist for white friends? The bro who cracks jokes and/or gives sage advice but seems to not have any flaws, struggles, or life of his own outside of his white friends? The BFF who thinks his white best friend is being dumb about another white guy and wants them to get their act together already?)

Su She and Jin ZiXun: Society vs. Connection

Or, the SuXun meta no one asked for. (I’m kidding about SuXun.)

In all seriousness, though, this meta will focus on Su She and Jin ZiXun, who, while they initially come across as semi-unlikable one-note antagonists necessary for plot connections and not much else, both actually have a ton of depth and thematic relevance. In particular, they are both used to explore the concepts of insecurity and arrogance through the lens of privilege, thereby exemplifying the novel’s central paradox: society is a corrupting disease, but human connection saves.

Jin ZiXun and Su She are extremely similar characters; in fact, I’d say the only difference in their characters is essentially that Jin ZiXun is privileged and Su She is not. The defining trait for both seems to be arrogance. Arrogance and insecurity are very common character traits in Mao Dao Zu Shi (in addition to these two, we also see them to various extents in Jin ZiXuan, Jin GuangYao, Wei WuXian, Wen Chao, Wen Ning, Jiang Cheng, and Jin Ling).

Jin ZiXun is privileged in ways Su She could never be. He looks down on everyone around him except for one notable exception (to be discussed further on). He’s said to consider Jin GuangYao, his cousin, as being of “lowly” background and it’s added that he “was ashamed to be of one clan [with Jin GuangYao].” When he acts arrogant, trying to force Lan XiChen and Lan WangJi to drink with him despite Jin GuangYao’s protests that they do not drink, he appeals to the idea of perceived scorn to manipulate them, thereby revealing what is most likely his true fear of insecurity:

“The Jin Sect and the Lan Sect have always been like one family. We’re all the same. My two Lan brothers, if you don’t drink this, you’d be looking down on me!”

It’s also notable how society responds to his evident insecurity manifesting as narcissistic arrogance:

On the side, a few of his followers all praised, “What a bold move!”“That’s just how an esteemed cultivator should act!”

However, Su She’s position in society is quite different, and therefore so is his manifestation of his insecurity.

The incident with the waterborne abyss is where we first meet him, and it tells us all we need to know about society in the novel and Su She’s position in it:

a disciple on the other side also drew out his sword, thrusting it toward a dark shadow which swiftly swam by in the water.

However, after his sword went underwater, it never came out again. He chanted the sword incantation for a few more times, but nothing was retrieved from the water. It was as if his sword had been devoured by the lake, disappearing without a trace. The disciple looked like he was a youth of similar age as Wei WuXian and the others. Without his sword, his face grew paler and paler. An older disciple beside him spoke, “Su She, right now, we still haven’t determined what the thing inside the water is. Why did you act on your own and make your sword go underwater?”

Su She seemed like he was somewhat flustered, but his expression was relatively calm, “I saw that Second Young Master also…”

He realized, before he even finished speaking, how unsuitable this sentence was. No matter what, the Bichen sword or Lan WangJi were not comparable with others… He glimpsed at Lan WangJi, but Lan WangJi didn’t look at him, and instead attentively observed the water…

This passage emphasizes Lan WangJi’s biggest flaw: his inability to say what he needs to say. It also indicates, again, what society thinks of Su She: they don’t notice him. Everything he does appears to be for naught. He’s just not important. (The comment about Su She being unable to compare to Lan WangJi also draws to mind Wen Ning’s ultimate rebuke of Jiang Cheng.)

The waterborne abyss is itself a symbol of society, as it is sent to the Gusu Lan Sect’s territory from the uppermost sect in society:

Although they knew where the waterborne abyss came from, everyone grew silent.

If it was done by people of the Wen Sect, then there would be no result no matter how hard they accused or criticized. First of all, the sect wouldn’t admit it, and second, there wouldn’t be any compensation either.

The abyss, or society, eats up Su She’s accomplishments (and sword) and tries to swallow Su She in the end. Wei WuXian risks his life to save Su She, and then Jiang Cheng observes them, but cannot help (foreshadowing what will later happen when Wei WuXian dies: Su She will unknowingly lead to Wei WuXian’s destruction, Jiang Cheng will stand by and let it happen, and Lan WangJi will act). Lan WangJi pulls them all from the abyss, symbolizing how human connection is ultimately the answer for society’s poison.

So let’s talk Jin ZiXun and Su She’s connections next. Jin ZiXun has a one-sided personal beef with our protagonist Wei WuXian, while Su She has a one-sided rivalry with our other main character, Lan WangJi. And both Jin ZiXun and Su She have someone they esteem as more important than themselves, someone they cling to and use as a way to feel less insecure themselves. For Jin ZiXun, this person is his cousin Jin ZiXuan, who is repeatedly held up as a societal ideal. In fact, Jin ZiXun is introduced to us challenging Wei WuXian when he is unimpressed by Jin ZiXuan’s accomplishments, proclaiming, “If anyone here remains unconvinced, then feel free to try if you can shoot better than ZiXuan!”

For Su She, this person is Jin GuangYao, Jin ZiXuan’s brother who is on the outskirts of society because of his birth as the illegitimate son of a prostitute and a sect leader. Ironically, it’s Jin GuangYao’s desire for acceptance by anyone and everyone (but especially societally important people, as his father is) that leads to Su She and Jin GuangYao forming a bond--at the same moment Su She forms a rift with his privileged foil Jin ZiXun:

Someone spat, “Is this a road that someone like you can walk on? Who let you roam around!”

A young voice replied, “I’m sorry. I…”

Hearing this, Lan XiChen and Lan WangJi looked up at the same time. Beside the wall reliefs stood two men. The one who had just scolded someone was Jin ZiXun, with a few servants and cultivators following behind him. The one who had been scolded was a white-clothed young man. When the man saw Lan XiChen and Lan WangJi, his face immediately went pale. He couldn’t even continue with the things he wanted to say. As Jin ZiXun kept up his haughty guise, Jin GuangYao came to the rescue just in time.

He went to the white-clothed man, “The paths of Koi Tower are rather intricate. Young Master Su, it’s not your fault that you got lost. You can come with me.”

Seeing that he appeared, Jin ZiXun sneered and walked around them. The white-clothed man, however, hesitated, “You know me?”

Jin GuangYao smiled, “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? Haven’t we met each other once? Young Master Su, Su MinShan, your swordsmanship is quite good. I’ve been thinking ever since the hunt at Phoenix Mountain about what a pity it’d be if such a young talent didn’t come to our sect. In the end, though, he did come to our sect. I was over the moon with joy. This way, please?”

There were countless cultivators who sought assistance by going to the LanlingJin Sect like Su She did. He thought that not many people would recognize him, having never expected Jin GuangYao to be able to remember him so clearly, going as far as to praise him, after just one hasty encounter with him. Instantly, Su She seemed to be more relieved. He ceased to look at the Lan brothers and followed Jin GuangYao away, scared that they’d mock or point at him.

The sad thing is that the Lan brothers likely would not have mocked him. In the end, both Jin ZiXun and Su She die with these respective friends of theirs, as nothing more than mere footnotes to the Jin brothers’ deaths. However, Su She’s death, in particular, shows us another aspect to his relationship with Jin GuangYao: even on the outskirts of society, they had a genuine connection.

After the waterborne abyss, the next time the novel introduces Su She is when he tries to sacrifice MianMian to appease Wen Chao (a symbol of arrogance and societal acceptance if there ever was one):

However, one of the GusuLan Sect’s disciples on the side had been trembling as he listened to Wen Chao’s threatening words. He finally couldn’t hold it any longer as he rushed over, grabbing MianMian, and prepared to tie her up. Lan WangJi’s brows stiffened. He immediately struck the disciple to the side.

Although he didn’t say anything, the way he looked at the disciple was more than imposing. What such a look meant was clear to everyone—it truly is a shame that the GusuLan Sect has taught a disciple like you!

The disciple’s shoulders quivered as he backed off slowly, unable to face the others’ eyes.

It is however an interesting reversal that Su She dies in a manner that redeems both of his earlier shames that drove him out of the Lan Sect. He dies sacrificing himself to save Jin GuangYao, rather than trying to sacrifice someone else, and he dies sacrificing his sword instead of losing it:

Su She dodged to the side with force. With the tip of his foot he picked up the sword that had fallen to the ground and conjured up all of his spiritual energy in one thrust at Nie MingJue’s heart. Perhaps because of the dire situation, the attack was abnormally swift and ruthless. Brimming with spiritual energy, the blade glowed brightly, enveloped by swirling radiance. It was so much better than all of the previous seemingly-elegant attacks that even Wei WuXian wanted to praise its excellence….

However, the sword had been infused with so much spiritual energy, due to Su She’s sudden explosion, that it could no longer withstand it. Halfway through the lunge, it broke into pieces with a crack.

On the other hand, Nie MingJue’s punch landed right in the center of Su She’s chest. Su She’s splendor left as quickly as it came. He couldn’t even spit out a mouthful of blood or say a few last words, no matter with dignity or cruelty, before the life in his eyes went out.

The symbolism of the sword is twofold: firstly, all the powers in the world can’t actually accomplish anything more than having little power can. The curse of insecurity originates with himself, which is why the rebound curse leaves him with holes on his chest.

Jin ZiXun’s death is also symbolic: he is cursed by Insecurity Embodied in Su She, cursed with the Curse of a Hundred Holes, which leaves holes on his body, symbolizing how he feels incomplete, and also marking him as a pariah from society.

Additionally, he allows this curse to separate him from the person he’s closest with, Jin ZiXuan:

“Why didn’t you tell me at all that you were cursed with Hundred Holes and instead came to do this without saying anything?!”

The fact that Jin ZiXun had been cursed with Hundred Holes was indeed an unspeakable matter. First of all, he had both a good appearance and a good physique. He’d always thought of himself as handsome and couldn’t bear for others to know that he was under such an unsightly, repulsive curse. Second of all, to have been cursed meant that his level of cultivation wasn’t high enough, since his spiritual energy was too weak to be able to hold against the curse.

In contrast, Su She’s death involves him becoming closer with someone he has a genuine connection with, because by helping Jin GuangYao, he knows that he’s going against society. As Wei WuXian says, the entire world is coming for Jin GuangYao, yet Su She still helps him.

To return to the sacrificial nature of Su She’s death, it’s also hard not to compare it with a sacrifice that happens earlier the same scene (and kind of the same chapter): Wen Ning’s sacrifice for Jiang Cheng, who is sacrificing himself for Jin Ling.

Jiang Cheng could only stuff Jin Ling behind him and unsheathe Sandu, which at the moment was unable to use spiritual energy, forcing himself to fend off the attack...

Wen Ning blocked himself before the wall, in front of the two of them. With both his hands, he grabbed Nie MingJue’s iron arm and slowly pulled it out of his chest, leaving behind a large, hollow hole. There was no bleeding. Only a couple of black organ crumbs fell out.

Wei WuXian, “Wen Ning!!!”

While Jiang Cheng looked as though he could lose his mind right there. He stammered, “You? You?!”

Wen Ning actually a character who is important to both Jin ZiXun and Su She’s stories throughout the novel.

Like Su She, he is insecure and regarded as weak by others. Like Jin ZiXun, he is, however, a skilled archer. And of course, he is killed in one of Jin ZiXun’s camps, by Jin ZiXun’s guards after Jin ZiXun failed to capture a monster:

Wei WuXian looked at him, “Who are you?”

Jin ZiXun paused in surprise before fuming, “You don’t know who I am?!”

Wei WuXian mused, “Why should I know who you are?”

Jin ZiXun, “I don’t remember, which means I don’t remember. I’m not so idle as to go out of my way to remember a Wen-dog’s name.”

Wei WuXian, “Fine. I don’t mind explaining it in greater detail. You couldn’t catch the bat king and happened to run into a few of the Wen Sect’s disciples who were there to investigate the same thing. And so, you threatened them to carry spirit-attraction flags to be your bait. They didn’t dare do it. One person stepped out and tried to reason with you. That’s the Wen Ning I’m talking about. After some delay, the bat king got away. You beat up the Wen cultivators, took them away by force, and the group disappeared. Do I need to say any more details? They still haven’t returned yet. Apart from you, I don’t know who in the world I could possibly ask.”

Jin ZiXun, “Wei WuXian, what do you mean? You came for him? You aren’t standing up for a Wen-dog, are you?”

And Wen Ning later kills both Jin ZiXuan and Jin ZiXun--however, it was not Wen Ning’s fault, but Wei WuXian’s. By trying to become a part of society, by searching for a place in it, you become a monster and a tool, even if not always as literally as it is with Wen Ning. Jin ZiXun is being manipulated by Jin GuangYao to kill Wei WuXian. In the end, Wen Ning uses his genuine connection with Wei WuXian to sacrifice his body to save Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng--the very same Jiang Cheng he just told this:

Sect Leader Jiang—you, so driven of a person, have been comparing yourself to others your whole life, but you have to know that you never should’ve been able to equal [Wei WuXian]!

Essentially, Wen Ning, having been someone at first looked down on for not being strong enough, and then shamed for being a Wen, and then regarded as a dangerous weapon, is telling Jiang Cheng that despite his not being the best in everything, despite how people might look down on him, you are still worth living. 

Wen Ning is able to live, because he’s already dead. But Su She does not, and in true MXTX fashion in which self-sacrifice is often viewed as a form of self-harm, Su She’s sacrifice is ultimately futile. Jin GuangYao is stabbed killed later that very chapter. 

However, it is fitting that this theme which has continued throughout the novel reaches its conclusion with Jin GuangYao. If there’s one character who embodies what it’s like to scrabble for society’s approval as a remedy for insecurity and self-loathing, it’s Jin GuangYao. As this incident shows:

On the other hand, Jin GuangShan, standing with a blank face where his seat was, finally lost his temper and kicked over the table in front of him. All of the gold dishes and silver platters rolled down the stairs.

Seeing his discomposure, Jin GuangYao wanted to ease the situation, starting, “Fa-”

Before he could finish, Jin GuangShan had already left. Jin ZiXun also felt that by giving in, he lost face in front of everyone. Out of both anger and hatred, he wanted to leave as well.

Jin GuangYao hurried, “ZiXun!”

Jin ZiXun was at the peak of his anger. Without a second thought, he flung away the cup of liquor that was turned down, directly towards Jin GuangYao’s chest. A splash of liquor immediately sprouted on top of the Sparks Amidst Snow blooming passionately over the white robes. It was more than embarrassing, but because of how chaotic the state of the hall was, nobody really minded the act of great misconduct.

Lan XiChen was the only one who exclaimed, “Brother!”

Jin GuangYao, “I’m fine, I’m fine. Brother, please be seated.”

It was unsuitable for Lan XiChen to comment on Jin ZiXun, so he took out a snow-colored handkerchief and passed it to him, “Go retire and change your clothes.”

Jin GuangYao took the handkerchief, wiping away as he forced a smile, “I can’t leave, can I?”

He was the only one left to clean up the mess. How could he leave the scene? He reassured the crowd as he ranted, completely exhausted, “Young Master Wei really is too impulsive. How could he speak in such a way in front of so many sects?”

Lan WangJi spoke coldly, “Was he wrong?”

Jin GuangYao paused almost unnoticeably. He immediately laughed, “Haha. Yes, he’s right. But it’s because he’s right that he can’t say it in front of them, correct?”

Here he is ignored by his father, insulted and humiliated publicly by his cousin, and left to clean the mess up. He refuses to retire and clean himself up like Lan XiChen asks him to do (a call-back to Lan WangJi asking Wei WuXian to come back to the Cloud Recesses with him). He knows that he’s saying something wrong, he knows that Wei WuXian is morally right, he knows society is a trap that eschews truth, but he cannot bring himself to pull away from it for the sake of seeking acceptance from his father, acceptance which will never come.

And in the end, Jin GuangYao too realizes that his need for societal acceptance led nowhere, that it wasn’t really what he wanted:

“Lan XiChen! In this life, I’ve lied countless times, killed countless times. Like you said, I killed my father, my brother, my wife, my son, my teacher, my friend—of all the evil in the world, what haven’t I done?!”

He took in a breath, rasping, “But I’ve never even thought of harming you!”

Lan XiChen was astonished.

Jin GuangYao panted harder, gripping the word as he spoke through clenched teeth, “… Back then, when the Cloud Recesses was burned down and you fled outside, who was the one that saved you from all the danger? And when the GusuLan Sect was rebuilding the Cloud Recesses, who was the one that helped with everything he had? In all these years, when have I ever cracked down on the GusuLan Sect, when have I responded with anything but support?! Apart from this time, when I’ve only temporarily staunched your spiritual powers, when have I ever wronged you or your sect? Why have I ever demanded gratitude?!”

Hearing these questions, Lan XiChen could no longer persuade himself to silence him again. Jin GuangYao, “Su MinShan could repay me in such a way just because I remembered his name back then. You, on the other hand, ZeWu-Jun, Sect Leader Lan, are as intolerant of me as Nie MingJue—you refuse to spare me even a single breath of life!”

In the end, however, Jin GuangYao uses his last gasp of strength to save Lan XiChen’s life, pushing him away from death. What mattered to Jin GuangYao in the very end was not societal approval (he’d lost that beyond belief), but his own desire to live, and even more than that, even when that was taken from him, his genuine human connection to Lan XiChen. Even if Lan XiChen is just like Nie MingJue in condemning him (he’s not, and Jin GuangYao has to know that), his connection is real. And that connection is valuable enough to him to throw off comfort in his moment of death to save the other.

It’s also fitting that Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian then leave the cultivational world together, pursuing their marriage and connection as cultivation partners away from society. However, they return in the end not because they want to be a part of that world, but because they have connections to people who need them: Lan SiZhui, Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, and Lan XiChen.

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 9/9

Hope everyone enjoyed the gag reel today! This week brings us a few tiny tidbits about 15x5 and a few general (although confusing) spoilers from Dabb. 

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, and Adam

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season. 

Episode 15x01

Title: Back to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex!

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason(A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it’s a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/3 (No filming on Labor Day?)

Airdate: 10/24

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn’t exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn’t acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn’t always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys)

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Episode 15x05

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Jack?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Not sure about Cas’s status in this one. I don’t think he was on set the first week of filming, have to see about next.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing. 

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene. 

Episode 15x06

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Jack?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Episode 15x07

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

I literally just downloaded Tumblr so I could talk about the final scene of Call Me By Your Name. I need someone to talk to talk about this with, especially someone who has also read the book. Now, firstly, I've only just watched it last night once so I haven't had the chance to really pick apart everything I loved or not about the movie; my interpretation will probably be different to everyone else's and also inevitably will be marred by the fact I loved the book so much. It's a very faithful adaptation and I have absolutely no qualms with the actors who I can now only see playing Elio and Oliver. The movie didn't follow quite the same neurotic Elio that we have in-depth examinations of in the novel, as it is impossible to read it without noticing Elio's complete limerence with Oliver to a sometimes worrying - but always intriguing - point through his narrative. However, this last scene /got/ me in the powerful way definetly intended. It's complete pinnacle of emotion, conflict, loss and obsession is shown on a whole other astronomical field by Timothée Chamalet, making up for any lack of insight we have with Elio from the comparison of the novel. ~ Spoilers ~ In the CMBYN book, Oliver returns for Christmas and tells Elio face-to-face about his engagement, then skipping forward to about fifteen years later, Elio goes to find Oliver as a professor teaching but cannot bear to visit Oliver's wife and children. And finally, almost twenty years from their first meeting, Oliver returns to the Italian paradise where they spent their summer and learns that Professor Pearlman has died. They reminisce about their times there and the implication being that Elio seems to remember a lot more about their summer together than Oliver - it's almost hard to picture Elio as any older than his summer story but Oliver seems much changed. Finally, the story ends when Oliver says he is much like Elio he "remembers everything" and, much as Elio does in his way, he silently begs him to call Elio by his own name once again. (As previously Oliver called and didn't take Elio's hint when he repeated his own name - though we don't know if this was really a lack of remembering or a refusal to play their games) and that is where we are left. In the movie, however, we are left only a few months after the initial summer, where Elio repeats his name on the phone and Oliver responds. He then sits in front of the fireplace, a tirade of emotion with the symbolic fly buzzing from his shirt to his face. And the problem I have with this is that I simply can't decide which ending I like better. I know it might not seem like the huge difference - especially when the rest of the movie had been quite heavily faithful aside from some minor insight, a character arc and an interesting trip to Rome. But, much like the ending of A Streetcar Named Desire and it's 1951 cinematic counterpart, the changing of the ending - or the symbolic scrapping of epilogue scenes - can change the symbolism of the entire story. For me, personally, the ending of the novel was not only a sly shout to Professor Pearlman's own speech. [Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we'd want to be forgotten is no better]. For me, personally, the story explores the love between two beings in so many ways. Firstly, it deals with not only love between people regardless of gender but also the dichotomy of love and sexuality and how each influences another. For example, novel Elio is very clearly sexually attracted to Marzia and Oliver both, though is besotted with Oliver on an emotional and intellectual level. Movie Elio could construed as presented to use Marzia as more of a way to smother his own sexuality or to gauge some reaction from Oliver, but I believe novel Elio to be attracted to Marzia but not in love with her. Elio doesn't fall in love with Marzia because she is not a man but moreso because she is not Oliver. There is also subtly the different culture clashes within love and the overcoming of that. (Later!? Ammirite 😚). There is the far more controversial exploration of love and age also which - for the critics out there - is moral and legal in the context of the story in both the movie and book. But something that I find increasingly interesting in the story is it's own exploration on what love truly is, compared to what could be desire, limerence, friendship, etc. What love is and, furthermore, the contexts which it can survive and sustain. The true heart breaking moments in the story come from the lack of deep connection between our two protagonists, who has once experienced so much, in their final moments on the novel. Both have moved on in life but Elio's silent battle with himself indicate wounds still fresh from twenty years ago and Oliver's lack of awareness is actually painful. In a meandering summer that felt so much like a fantasy we can see this part of our story deeply rooted in ugly truth that media - especially romance - have been shy of for far too long. Forgetting. Moving on. The thought that we might feel so strongly one moment and then not the next. The thought that we might never forget but the ones we share these secret memories with will and we'll be left alone in our memories, feeling shame for not being able to do what everyone else seemingly can. The ending of the book does this so perfectly, we are begging right along with Elio for some 'Love, Rosie/ Where Rainbows End' miracle of lost love that went through so many trials and ended up back where we think it should be. But it's simply not the truth and its enthralling, as a reader, to be able to feel that second-hand. It's not to say the end of the movie does do this. The ambiguity of the final scene leaves us weighed down by the inevitability of having to move on, and we cannot help but sympathize with Thimothée's superb acting and a beautiful Sufjan Stevens song, to demonstrate how we all feel about the possibility of having to move on. But there isn't quite that same sense of loss that we feel because Oliver does remember and does call Elio by his own name in turn. I just can't decide which ending I like better. Both of them hurt me so emotionally I might need counselling but they're both so powerful and so are their changes. It's past 2am and I'm listening to sad #Dodie songs so I just needed to get this out there before my emotions imploded on me.

He Was a Natural Disaster Trapped in Human Form - Chapter 1/???

This is not happening in the same universe as the Fragmented Imagination but since I’ve decided to give shell at least one character (Protagonist) from this story anyway, I figured that I could use this side of my tumblr as generally posting my stories. (main focus still on fragmented, not to worry)Fragmented News: I’m gonna be posting a slice of Lucas’ life soon too as well as the fixed versions of the Prologue and Chapter 1, as my Beta finally fixed it for me ^^ And after I’ve finished with my current faceup/wig commissions I’ll start writing Chapter 2 for the Fragmented Imagination

Anyway. What is THIS story about?

- - - - - I went out of town to meet a friend. We had not seen each other for a long time and – as a socially impaired piece of shit that I am – I felt extremely nervous to see them again. How come the more time I spend apart from my friends, the harder it gets for me to gather up the courage to see them again? My heart kept racing and I was sure that something weird would happen. Either I would make weird sounds with my mouth (that one could mistake as speech) or I would do something utterly stupid. Maybe I would meet someone new and they would throw my world out of balance. If only I had trusted my gut instinct and believed that it might not be that far-fetched theory, I would have dialed my friend (and actually pressed the ”call” button) and come up with an excuse to move our meeting to another time. If only I had known that I was about to meet the Hurricane that was about to turn my world upside down, I would have turned away, covered my ears, closed my eyes and began shouting until my lungs were sore and no sound was left – anything weird and/or new scared me shitless and I did everything in my power to avoid them. But now that I have met this natural disaster trapped in human form, I would slap my past self in the face if they tried to walk away. I’d rewrite history countless times and I wouldn’t care who I would have to write off or on in to my life if it meant that I’d get to see that person again - even if just to pass by them at the super market. However… It was a chilly afternoon when my buss arrived to the station in this weird town that I had never visited before. My friend had just moved there a month or two ago and had insisted me to come see her new house (I had ”a flu” when her house warming parties were held). My friend, Nelly was her name, was waiting for me in front of the station and waved me happily when she found me stepping out of the buss. We hugged. I was never a fan of hugging - I preferred to keep my personal ”my meter” -space – but I found that it was actually comforting to be hugged by her. We had lived together for 2 years when we were still students so it felt like it had only been yesterday when we spent hours just drinking tea in our kitchen – not 10 years. ”How was the trip? There has been this horrible wind lately and other buss was late for like 30 minutes. So I was a bit worried that something would have happened to you”, Nelly said. She was so talkative. I replied to her with simple ”Uhuh, no, it was all good.” ”So Anon, I hope you don’t mind…” she started. (Shit, I do mind, I hate surprises… Also she must be the only person who still calls me with that nickname) ”One of my friends is staying over at my place – He has had quite a rough year and he is currently homeless so I let him stay at my place…” she looked at me while buckling up her seat belt. She was trying to read my expressions since she knew that I hated people. New people more than anything else. ”I did tell them that you were coming and that you were bad with other people, so just tell me if you’re uncomfortable. We’ve arranged it with my boyfriend so that he can stay at his place if you started feeling… those feelings again…” Ah, but of course… Nelly remembered. I have had my fair share of horrible young adulthood/teenage drama and I even had intensive therapy/medication for that shit – Though I had not been on meds or seen said therapist for a couple of years now. Yet, I still felt uncomfortable around other people, especially with males (funny, since I was a male myself too). Nelly had been the first person I had opened up to. Not that I meant to at the time but since she was there to soothe me when my nightmares were making me insane, she just kinda learned it on her own. ”Then why is he not staying at your boyfriend’s in the first place…?” I muttered without being able to stop myself. I was expecting to hear some sort of explanation. I mean, the guy was homeless -  I was suspicious that he was not completely ”normal” in my books just from that fact. Horribly narrow minded, I know. I lifted my eyes and met my friend’s face. She was smiling with this odd expression that was pretty much the embodiment of ”you’ll see” if I had ever seen one. I was pretty sure she’d also say that out loud but instead she just made a hand gesture, indicating that I should also buckle up mine as she started the engine. It was maybe a 20-ish minute drive when she pulled out to the small yard in the area that looked so old that it was antique (”These houses must cost a fortune to live in”, I thought). ”We’re here!” Nelly exclaimed happily as she took the keys out and outstretched her arms (as much as the small car let her) to make me look at her house. Holy shit. That was amazing house. I had never seen one quite like it before. It was a small (green) dublex with so many details in the windows (white wood with decorative carvings), porch (how many hours had been used just to make that railing?) and steppings (not to mention garden, though it was already beginning to look a bit sad since the cold weather had killed most of the plants already). My jaw must have dropped since Nelly was smiling with even more pleased look on her face. ”My boyfriend’s aunt is living in the other apartment and I get to live here pretty cheap if I help her out with taking care of the building and her – since she is getting quite sick… Oh! But don’t worry! She never comes to my apartment without letting me know in advance! She usually just calls me to come to her side if she needs me!” Nelly said as I was making _the_ face (more people…?). We unloaded the car and I was still awestruck with the amount of wood carving and detailing. Nelly said something like ”Aunt’s grand father was a carpenter and had build this house with his friends and had made sure that the house would be the most beautiful in town” … or something like that. To be honest I didn’t pay much attention since I was in love with the building even without its history. I was actually so fascinated with the building that I had completely forgotten about the person I was about to meet. I didn’t remember or realize it even when I kicked my own shoes away and saw a pair of (filthy) army boots on the clean hallway. (they were so out of place there) ”U came already?” shouted unfamiliar voice from somewhere in the house and I completely froze. (Shit. I was about to meet someone new. Hell to the NO! I’m not ready! Abort Mission! D-A-N-G-E-R-! ABORT MISSION! Abandon the fucking ship!) ”Yeah! Oh! Did you put the meat in the oven when I called?” Nelly shouted back cheerfully, disappearing to the room that was probably kitchen. I was taking off my coat when she came back with a happy expression. She took my luggage and told me to follow her to the guest room. ”We’ll be having some slow-cooked lamb for dinner – I found this awesome recipe for the sauce and I’ve been dying to use it and I just know that you’ll love it!” Nelly had begun to resemble those loving stay at home -wifes with about dozen cats– so she was clearly excited when she got to show off that side of her. As we walked past the room that Nelly had just been to (I was right, it was the kitchen) I saw the back of a man and for a short while, I felt like the world had slowed down so much that it might just as well have stopped. Man had loose jeans which had seen their better day and he had black socks (he was scratching his calf with his other leg) He had dark brown cardigan that was  pretty long and had something that resembled a hood (or just a big collar). He was holding a cup of coffee in his left hand (he had rolled up the sleeves of the cardigan but let the black long sleeves down) and his hair was a mix of natural (ash blonde) dread locks, braids and it seemed like none of that hair was the same length – but somehow it looked utterly cool and stylish the way he had tied it up so carelessly Thumb. I had dropped my bag and didn’t even realize it before the sound but I was not fast enough to react and as the stranger turned around, our eyes met for the first time. He had very captivating eyes and even though some silent voice at the back of my head kept telling me to pick up my bag and run through the front door, I couldn’t turn my eyes away. He had dark green eyes that were framed by long dark lashes, he had thick eyebrows and some beard (or maybe he had not just shaved for a couple of days). He smiled and I saw his lips (pretty narrow) form words. He let his head tilt a little to the left and exposed his neck (so long and more slender that I thought) and he turned around, towards me and started walking closer to me with a bright smile on his face. He had his arm stretched out, waiting to meet mine. Wait… RUN! I woke up from my trance, time started moving again and I crouched a bit to take my bag and stormed away to where Nelly was about to take me. I didn’t look back, didn’t care about the fact that I would see them in a moment again. Okay, I lied, I was scared shitless seeing them again. I was desperately trying to come up with an excuse to leave the house immediately. And I had only been in there for 3-5 minutes. Tops. ”There is towel ready on the table and I’ve changed linens this morning so they are all fresh and ready for you so you don’t need to worry about that! There are also extra pillows in the cabinet so help yourself if you want more. My room right upstairs, first door to the right and -He- is sleeping in the next room! I’ll go to prepare the meal so just make yourself at home,” Nelly kept talking but somehow I had trouble understanding. My heart was still beating so fast. I mumbled and smiled at her and she left the room and closed the door behind her. I stood there for a while, just looking out of the window. Why did the thing just happen? What was that bizarre moment about? It was nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. Freezing on the spot like that and even making an eye contact with a stranger and not even realizing it before they were almost close enough to touch me… But then again, there was something simply mesmerizing about him for sure. He was clearly not like any other person I had ever met before. “That’s bad”, I thought while I began rubbing my arm. I felt bruises forming under my hoodie. Ah… so uhmm… I also have this extremely rare condition called ”Bruising”. It has a long and impossible-to-remember medical name as well as some fancy Latin name but I feel like this street name describes it way better - at least it gives you a good idea what is about to follow. Basically my body is attacking itself. It’s not fatal (well, doctors don’t really know WHAT it is but so far it has not caused any casualties by itself) but it’s more like my body is trying to alarm me about everything. Like normally people with… well for example tenosynovitis, would have to rely to describing their pain to the doctors. My body is showing it physically. I get these bruises and small cuts whenever my body is, in any way, ”ill”. It’s kinda handy, like if I get a food poisoning, I can tell since my stomach starts bleeding a bit. Or if I’m catching a cold, light bruises show up on my throat. And if my body was about to develop a cancer, I’d probably find out about it before the traditional symptoms would starts showing up. Of course, there is always a downside. Like how often adults thought that my parents were abusing me since I was always full of bruises and cuts. And even though I was born with this condition and I’ve always been “hurting”, practically 24/7, it still hurts. (Like I have my better days and then I have my absolute bottoms just like anyone else - some days it’s harder to understand why I must bear with this kind of condition but since in my case it literally makes it worse, I’ve had to learn to look past it). But the worst part is… If I feel emotionally or mentally hurt, it shows on my body as well (usually it shows as bruising in my hands and small cuts, but if I feel hurt enough, it might even show up on my throat or face). I rolled up my sleeve a bit and - sure as hell - a big bruise was forming on my arm. I sighed. I knew that feeling agitated and worrying just made it worse but it’d be hard to hide huge bruise like that for long. And I didn’t really feel like explaining my condition to a complete stranger anyway. I rolled my sleeve back down and decided to keep my hoodie on. Just in case. ”That was pretty rude of you…” said a cold voice from the door. I startled and turned to the source of the voice and I swear that all the color drained from my face as I saw those emerald eyes again. ”I mean, Ya. I get it. U’re shy, but running off like that… Ain’t it a bit much, eh? Not like I’m gonna eat ya up.” said the man while leaning to the door frame. I couldn’t even gather my thoughts and he just scratched the back of his neck. ”I’m coming in, no fainting, ya hear?” RUN! I hesitated and started looking around me, trying to find a magic portal or something like that. Anything that could get me out of the situation. I was trapped. Fuck. He is gonna hurt me!? How dangerous is he!?” ”Oh”, he said and stopped with a surprised expression on his face. He tilted his head a bit and lifted a finger and pointed at my face. ”So you really have it too?” Huh? I felt something dripping on my face and turned to look in the window (there was no mirror in the room) and to my horror, I saw some bleeding above my eyes and huge bruise darkening around the corner of the same eye. By reflex I tried to hide it with my sleeve - of course I knew it at that very moment that it was for vain since he was the one who noticed it first but I felt extremely… confused, to my big surprise. More confused than hurt. ”No point in trying to hide it now, ya know?” The man said with a grin that was kinda hard to interpret. Was he making fun of me? ”Shut up! What would you know…!” I shouted. To my even bigger fucking surprise it actually made his smile turn to a bit kinder, I think. ”Nelly didn’t tell ya?” he said with a cheerful tone. ”And here I thought it was the only reason you wanted to meet my ugly mug!” (He insulted himself yet it sounded like he was actually bragging?) He rolled up his left sleeve and showed how a big portion of his arm had turned blue. ”I get bruised ridiculously easy too…!” … What? - - - To be continued - - -

Self-Alienation

The Transformation of Excessive IntroversionIn his essay “Aliens and Insects,” Jung scholar Glen Slater (2008) explored the genealogy and imaginative evolution of monsters in mythology and popular culture. He persuasively demonstrated that the rise of Christianity and the Enlightenment has alienated the ancient monsters of folklore and pagan mythologies, consequently invoking a new wave of monstrous aliens invading our modern imaginations. Prior to the Enlightenment, the world’s dark, unexplored locations—oceanic depths, treacherous mountain peaks, dense forestsbless—were like a blank slate upon which humanity could project an abundance of psychological images and fantasies. But with the development of materialism and the scientific exploration of earth’s mysteries, the ogres and trolls of the world were evicted from their terrestrial confines and forced to adapt to the only mysterious place left available for residence—the dark recesses of outer space. Much like the denizens of the deep from ancient myths and stories, extraterrestrial visitations to our modern consciousness paradoxically evoke fantasies of both salvation and destruction. In his 1958 commentary on the widespread flying saucer sightings, titled “Flying Saucers: A Modern Myth of Things Seen in the Skies,” Jung (1970/2014) suggested that the celestial images exhibited mandala-like characteristics and therefore represented images of the Self: the psychological principle of order, wholeness, and the totality of the personality, both conscious and unconscious. Jung felt that such an experience of the Self could be attributed to “an emotional tension having its cause in a situation of collective distress or danger, or in a vital psychic need” (¶ 508). The term distress is certainly apropos to the period of time following two world wars and facing the ever-looming threat of the Cold War. It was this psychological tension that Jung felt incited the compensatory images of order and wholeness from the unconscious, which were not only projected into the atmosphere as UFOs but also projected onto the big screen of the cinema. The Day the Earth Stood Still, released in 1951, is a prime example. The film begins with the landing of a flying saucer, carrying a single visitor from an interplanetary society. Humankind has become a threat to the higher cosmic order, and this alien visitation is a warning: learn to live peacefully or be destroyed. The visitor serves as a Christ-like figure, and by the conclusion of the film he has been killed, been brought back to life, and awakens humankind to the consequences of its irresponsible aggression. Some years later, E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial featured another single visitor of redeeming value, one who also dies and is resurrected before ascending to the heavens. Contrary to these earlier, more optimistic alien visitations, Slater (2008) noticed a recent shift in the collective imagining. Alien depictions in films like Starship Troopers, Alien, and Independence Day are more parasitic than redemptive. Rather than single visitors, these insect-style aliens—often portentously merged with their own technology or machinery—swarm in massive colonies and threaten to overwhelm humankind. If, as Jung (1970/2014) suggested, these alien images are personifications of the Self, arising out of a tension of opposites that might otherwise tear the psychic whole asunder, then what is the significance of this shift in imagery from savior to assailant? According to Slater (2008), The insect-alien appears to reflect our increasing dissociation from the lower animality of being. … On a psychic level, the monster indicates the prospect of instinctual forces shaking free of their normal channels of expression and running amok, fragmenting consciousness and swallowing all human proportionality—a prospect invoked whenever we cross into unmapped terrain. (pp. 191-193)Psychologically, crossing into unmapped terrain can mean venturing outside of habitual attitudes or typical modes of conscious orientation. This exploration of repressed or unrealized aspects of the psyche is fundamental to Jung’s notion of individuation, the ego’s gradual development into an approximation of the Self. In consideration with Jung’s theory of psychological types, this process of discovery is to some degree structured by one’s dominant mode of conscious functioning because it requires one to move into less-developed functions of the personality. According to Marie-Louise von Franz (1971/2013), it is the inferior function that operates as a “door by which the shadow, the animus or the anima, and the personification of the Self come in,” which are, therefore, able to “enlarge consciousness and bring forth a new attitude” (p. 72). What insights, then, might the application of typology provide regarding these parasitic Self-images and their role in the development of consciousness and the evolution of the personality? From a typological perspective, the swarming invasion of parasitic aliens can be viewed as a crisis within the personality, and a crisis occurs when the habitual mode of adaptation is no longer adequate to address the presenting circumstances. It is a monstrous event indeed, forcing one against one’s will into unmapped terrain, where, as Slater (2008) suggested, one is confronted with unconscious aspects of the personality that may incite in the ego a fear of disintegration. However, it is this very risk of fragmentation that contains its own antidote, provided one can safely navigate the journey. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, crisis derives from the Greek krisis, meaning a “turning point in a disease,” and is related to krinein, “to separate, decide,” giving the impression of resolution through a process of discernment or differentiation. The alien invasion can then be viewed as a necessary fragmentation of the psyche, occurring when the ego is too rigidly identified with the dominant function. The crisis brings renewal by breaking apart the ego identity so that the previously unrealized functions can be differentiated and integrated, thereby transforming the conscious attitude. Further, an accurate assessment of personality type provides a map with which to navigate this process because each function is archetypally structured and thus expressed in fairly predictable patterns based on the position in the personality profile. Heroic Thinking Like any archetypal structuring pattern, the functions of consciousness and the psychodynamics operating behind their interrelation can reveal themselves autonomously through dreams, literature, or film. The alien invasion depicted in Independence Day can then be viewed as a symbolic representation of the intrapsychic conflict that occurs when an excessive one-sidedness in the personality has reached the point of crisis. The film begins with excitement as the people of earth receive their first communication from extraterrestrial intelligent life. However, excitement quickly turns to terror as the aliens reveal their destructive capability and ruthless intention of eradicating humankind. Much of the story follows key characters of the American government as they struggle to find the appropriate response to the invasion. The film lacks a distinct protagonist, though it seems to revolve around three central characters: U.S. President Thomas Whitmore (Bill Pullman), Air Force captain Steven Hiller (Will Smith), and the vastly overqualified and repeatedly underestimated cable repairman David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum), an INTP personality type (see Fig. 1) who is the first to predict the malevolence of the aliens by cracking the code in their communication signal. It is Levinson who instigates the film’s peripeteia, the turning point of the story where the crisis begins to transmute into its own resolution. He is thus the central figure of analysis. It quickly becomes apparent that Levinson is excessively introverted. His initial appearance in the film occurs during a chess match with his father, and befitting of an INTP, his very first line is “I’m thinking.” His preference for the inner world of concepts and ideas is immediately recognizable; he is clearly more concerned with his own strategy than indulging his father’s small talk. Shortly after this scene, we again see his detachment from people and the external world. When a coworker asks why his beeper was not turned on, Levinson simply replies, “It was turned on. I was ignoring you.” Aloof, he casually rides his bicycle through the office while everyone around him is in a panicked uproar over a problem with the cable signal. Of all the commotion, only two things capture his attention: someone’s failure to recycle aluminum cans—to which he responds with an out-of-proportion rage, an expression of his demonic introverted feeling (Fi)—and an anomaly in the satellite signal, a problem which he enthusiastically begins to analyze. Levinson becomes so fixated with solving the satellite enigma that he is completely oblivious to the eerie mood settling over the room as his coworkers silently witness the breaking news of the alien arrival. From the initial introduction, it seems clear that Levinson’s consciousness is predominantly oriented by introverted thinking (Ti), and the extent to which he is completely oblivious to the terrifying developments in the world around him demonstrates just how narrowly he is identified with this function. According to Jung (1921/2014), introverted thinking values above all the “development and presentation of the … initial symbolic image hovering darkly before the mind’s eye” (¶ 628). For Levinson, this symbolic image is the “countdown” that he envisages out of the numerical pattern in the satellite signal. His conviction that the aliens will attack derives from this internal image; he refutes and attacks any evidence or suggestion to the contrary. His behavior throughout the remainder of the film continues to be motivated by this theory, and again and again he returns to this image as a way of interpreting and navigating external events. Indeed, in the last recourse, his theory proves essential in the salvation of humanity—a worthy illustration of the archetypal hero pattern that Beebe (2006) associated with the primary function. But the hero cannot go it alone. Inevitably he receives aid somewhere on the journey, and Levinson’s introverted thinking cannot save the day until it receives some unexpected support from his less-developed functions. Following Beebe’s model, the auxiliary function operates as an archetypal parent. Given that Levinson leads with an introverted judging function, his secondary function must be one of extraverted perceiving. Considering he will not drive a car, is constantly getting airsick, and often mocks various sensual indulgences like cigar smoking, it is unlikely that Levinson receives much positive parental influence from his extraverted sensing (Se). He is, however, a portrait of what Jung (1921/2014) described as “speculative thinking forging ahead with intuition” (¶ 669). Levinson’s reliance on introverted thinking supported by extraverted intuition (Ne) is what makes him an INTP, “perhaps the most intellectually profound of all the types” (Myers & Myers, 1995, p. 90). According to Sharp (1987), extraverted intuition “strives to apprehend the widest range of possibilities inherent in the objective situation” (p. 59). On several occasions when Levinson’s thinking is stuck or becoming too narrow or dogmatic, his intuition, like a wise father figure, grabs hold of something in the environment and redirects him toward a larger vision. The most dramatic display of this dynamic occurs, fittingly enough, during an interaction between Levinson and his actual father that is arguably the most important moment in the film—the peripeteia. It occurs in the most hopeless of circumstances, after all thinking strategies have been exhausted and even a nuclear strike against the aliens has proven futile. Levinson’s father attempts to console him while helping him off of the cold floor. In a flash, the word cold gives Levinson the intuitive vision of using a computer virus against the aliens. Re-inspired, Levinson’s speculative thinking forges ahead yet again, and he begins developing a strategy for implementing the virus. This pivotal moment can be broadly perceived as a development of the auxiliary function, which von Franz (1971/2013) felt must be integrated into the ego before one is able to consciously utilize the inferior function as a bridge to the Self. A dialogue between the Self and the ego can then ensue, producing the transcendent function that overcomes psychological tension. Only after this interaction with his father is Levinson able to prepare for direct contact with the aliens, i.e., to establish an ego-Self dialogue. In the third position—after his parental intuition and less available to consciousness—is Levinson’s introverted sensing (Si). Introverted sensing relates primarily to the personal subjective experience of the physical sensations, the memories and internal images that “constitute a psychic mirror-world” of external reality (Jung, 1921/2014, ¶ 649). In the third position, this function is governed by the puer aeternus archetype, the eternal youth. Three years after his divorce, Levinson still wears his wedding ring, indicative of the puer demand that the memory and internal experience of that relationship live on forever. The puer’s aversion to responsibility can also be observed in Levinson’s refusal to find an occupation more suitable to his eight-year education at MIT—a sore spot in several of his relationships. Extraverted feeling (Fe) is in the fourth position, the anima. Consciousness has little access to the inferior function, and so, according to von Franz (1971/2013), it remains slow, infantile, and primitive. However, this lack of calculation in feeling also means that it has a kind of childlike, undeveloped genuineness to it. Without differentiation, matters of feeling are perceived as black and white, and there will be either profound attachment or intense aversion to the object in question. When the anima takes the form of extraverted feeling, the bridge to the unconscious paradoxically leads outward to external objects by imbuing them with mythological qualities and symbolic significance. Hence, Levinson is likely to discover his own deepest realities in relationship with others, provided he is able to integrate the anima projections. These anima dynamics are most clearly evident in Levinson’s relationship to his ex-wife, Constance. His feelings toward her demonstrate what von Franz (1971/2013) described as a “sticky, dog-like attachment that, especially to the beloved, is not always amusing” (p. 58). It is through this painful attachment that Levinson is able to access the functions that lie in the ego’s shadow: the fifth, opposing personality position of extraverted thinking (Te); the senex carrying introverted intuition (Ni) in the sixth; the trickster extraverted sensing (Se) in the seventh; and finally, the demonic introverted feeling (Fi) in the eighth position. Ego Breakdown Though we are given little in terms of Levinson’s background story, the film hints at several recurring issues that may be contributing to the emotional tension we would expect to see when alien Self-images appear. Firstly, Levinson is unable to accept his divorce and move on, refusing to even discuss the idea with his father. He also has lofty ideals. He claims he is always trying to save the planet, but his attempts to do so fall drastically short of his intellectual potential. His education and intuitive ingenuity give him immense potential for innovation, yet his efforts at sustainability often manifest merely as snarky comments about styrofoam cups or sarcastic outbursts at people who do not recycle. He presents as a resentful underachiever, lacking ambition and unable to launch his powerful ideas into practice. When his intellect is recognized and President Whitmore requests his aid in the military effort against the aliens, Levinson belittles himself and shrinks away from contributing. While some might call this response humility, it can also be understood as self-deprecation, a rather insidious form of ego inflation. According to Jung’s (1921/2014) description, It is a characteristic peculiarity of the introvert … to confuse his ego with the self. … Should he become neurotic, it is the sign of an almost complete identity of the ego with the self; the importance of the self is reduced to nil, while the ego is inflated beyond measure. (¶ 623-625)Ego inflation is often confused with arrogance, but that is only one form inflation assumes. As an introvert, to the extent that Levinson’s ego identification with the Self (inflation) creates an overvaluation of subjectivity, his relationship to objects takes on a primitive or infantile quality; objects are feared as having the power to overwhelm him. According to Jung (1921/2014), the introvert then “shrinks from making himself or his opinions felt, fearing that this will only increase the object’s power” (¶ 627). Thus, Levinson’s humility is not authentic, but an autonomous defense mechanism protecting him from his irrational fear of the object. As a result of this shrinking inward, Jung observed that “a compensatory relation arises in the unconscious which makes itself felt as an absolute and irresistible tie to the object” (¶ 626). Levinson is then caught in a crippling tension of opposites; the more he attempts to recede inward, the more compulsive his outward attachments become, and the tighter he fetters himself to a dead end job and a non-existent relationship. Because of the self-regulating nature of the psyche, the images arising from the unconscious are in many ways determined by the attitude consciousness takes toward them. If the singular, Christ-like aliens of E.T. and The Day the Earth Stood Still represented an unconscious compensation for a consciousness at risk of fragmentation, perhaps the swarming multiplicity of the alien-insects compensates for a consciousness that is rigidly monolithic. We can imagine that Levinson’s fear of the object has driven him further and further inward into a singular identification with his own subjectivity, thus inviting the alien invasion. However, just as the ego-Self dialogue produces the transcendent function, reconciles the opposites, and transforms consciousness, Levinson’s response to the aliens awakens his less-conscious functions; gives him a multiplicity of orientations; forces him to confront his anima projections; and opens him to a more expansive, flexible, and well-rounded ego identity. Demonic Developments The first key moment of Levinson stepping into his non-preferred functions occurs when his auxiliary extraverted intuition scans the binary code in the satellite signal and envisions the possibility of an alien attack. This vision marks the beginning of his descent through the functions toward a confrontation with the unconscious. He then seeks out his father to drive him to Constance (just as the ego gains access to the inferior function through the development of the auxiliary function). Constance is an ambitious woman who has worked her way up the political ladder and works closely with the president. She carries Levinson’s anima projections and represents the unlived side of himself that would put his ideals into action. She also embodies conscious extraverted feeling characteristics (Levinson’s inferior function), acting as the mediator between the president and the press and constantly seeking to create harmony in the external environment. She is thus ripe with symbolic significance for Levinson’s own inner life. Just as the anima forms the bridge to the shadow functions—the opposing personality, senex, trickster, and demon—she gives Levinson access to the president, who, as the figurehead of the militant U.S. government, exemplifies extraverted thinking and represents Levinson’s opposing personality. Needless to say, Levinson and President Whitmore do not get along. Through his involvement with the President and executive staff, Levinson is introduced to Steven Hiller, the Air Force pilot who lives for adrenaline and exemplifies extraverted sensing—Levinson’s trickster function. When the crisis is beginning to look hopeless, these central characters converge at Area 51, a secret military base that can be understood as a liminal space—not entirely of this world, yet not entirely extraterrestrial. Here we see more of Levinson’s shadow functions emerge. In this liminal space, his demonic introverted feeling—previously only expressed as sarcasm around sustainability or raging outbursts at the suggestion of using nuclear weapons—now begins to morph into daimonic inspiration. According to Beebe (1992), introverted feeling concerns one���s subjective feelings and values, weighing actual events against an ideal archetypal image. In the shadow, this feeling becomes “rageful, anxious, and sullen. It may withdraw all support for attitudes it has decided are simply wrong” (p. 136). The archetypal energy associated with the eighth function can bring out the most destructive aspects of an individual’s personality. When the president issues the order to use nuclear weapons against the aliens, Levinson falls into his trickster extraverted sensing and begins drinking. Characteristic of the trickster’s duplicity, this volatile state of intoxication at one and the same time drives him into demonic despair (Fi) and allows him to access his tertiary introverted sensing. In an uninhibited conversation with Constance, he muses over memories, expressing and differentiating his subjective experience of their relationship so that the impressions left upon him are no longer locked away in the depths. As he grows more inebriated and unconscious, he sinks into his most violent, morbidly sarcastic state, trashing the room and ranting: “We gotta burn the rainforests, dump toxic waste, pollute the air, and rip up the ozone. Maybe if we screw this planet up enough, they won’t want it any more.” This single statement demonstrates both the intense despair of demonic introverted feeling and the trickster’s unorthodox and haphazard means of bringing about salvation, expressed in the physical outburst of the extraverted sensing function. Levinson’s demonic/daimonic temper tantrum calls in his parental intuition, instigating the film’s peripeteia—the moment when his father inadvertently inspires the idea to use the aliens’ own communication signal against them by planting a virus in the mother ship. With more conscious access to his shadow functions, Levinson is now ready to pull back his anima projections and participate in a genuine confrontation with the aliens (i.e., the Self). Before this moment, his central dilemma could be summarized by Jung’s (1921/2014) description of excessive introversion: “Although [the introvert] will shrink from no danger in building up his world of ideas, … he is nonetheless beset by the greatest anxiety if ever he has to make it an objective reality” (¶ 634). However, no longer requiring Constance to carry his unlived ambition, Levinson finally sets out to put his own ideas into action. The ego-Self dialogue begins; Levinson’s virus theory (introverted thinking) allows for cooperation with the president’s military strategy (extraverted thinking). He must also learn to work with his trickster extraverted sensing by flying in an alien craft with Captain Hiller and deceptively entering the mother ship to plant the virus. The plan is successful, humanity finds salvation after all, and Levinson returns from the confrontation transformed. Integration The film’s concluding images of Levinson are significant. Having safely landed from their mission, Levinson and Captain Hiller are found walking out of the desert, smoking their victory cigars side-by-side in confident stride, awaiting the embrace of their lovers (Levinson and Constance have rekindled their relationship at this point). An historic phallic symbol, the cigar has stood for assertiveness, ambition, and power. It appears throughout the film among the more extraverted and action-oriented characters, particularly those in the military. While in the mother ship, Levinson had confessed to Captain Hiller that he had always believed things like cigars would kill him, symbolically admitting his fears around bringing ideas into objective reality. However, after his confrontation with the aliens, Levinson responds to his father’s light-hearted jab at the cigar in his mouth by smiling and stating, “I could get used to it.” Slater (2008) noted that etymologically, the term monster denotes a warning or an omen. Slater suggested that the parasitic aspect of modern alien images implies a fear of losing control to something other, something in the unconscious. For Levinson, the alien arrival was a warning, a wake-up call that his one-sided identification with his own subjectivity had left him compulsively attached to a broken relationship and an unsatisfying vocation. By alienating himself from an authentic external life, his behavior in the objective world was being governed by alien forces in the unconscious. With the onset of the alien invasion came the risk of fragmentation, but by facing the crisis head-on, he was able to differentiate his monolithic ego identity and achieve the conscious use of multiple orientations. By coming into a more authentic relationship with his larger Self, he was able to transform his external relationships. Or perhaps the story might be equally true read in reverse: By bringing more consciousness to his relationships, Levinson transformed himself. --- References: Beebe, J. (1992). Identifying the American shadow: Typological reflections on the Los Angeles riots. Psychological Perspectives, 27, 135-139. Beebe, J. (2006). Evolving the eight-function model. Australian Psychological Type Review, 8(1), 39-43. Crisis. (n. d.). In Online etymology dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.etymonline.com/word/crisis Jung, C. G. (1921/2014). Psychological types (R.F.C. Hull, Trans.). In H. Read et al. (Series Eds.), The collected works of C.G. Jung (Vol. 6, pp. 330-407). Complete digital edition. Jung, C. G. (1970/2014). Civilization in transition (R.F.C. Hull, Trans.). In H. Read et al. (Series Eds.), The collected works of C.G. Jung (Vol. 10). Complete digital edition. Myers, I. B., & Myers, P. B. (1995). Gifts differing: Understanding personality type. Mountain View, CA: Consulting Psychologists Press. Sharp, D. (1987). Personality types: Jung’s model of typology. Toronto, ON: Inner City Books. Slater, G. (2008). Aliens and insects. In D. P. Slattery & G. Slater (Eds.), Varieties of mythic experience: Essays on religion, psyche and culture (pp. 189-207). Carpinteria, CA: Daimon Verlag, Einsiedeln, and Pacifica Graduate Institute. von Franz, M-L. (1971/2013). The inferior function. In J. Hillman & M-L. von Franz, Lectures on Jung’s typology (pp. 9-91). Putnam, CT: Spring Publications. Images: Benton, T. H. (1916). Three figures. Retrieved from wikiart.org De Chirico, G. (1915). The profit. Retrieved from wikiart.org Delaunay, R. (1913). Premier disque. Retrieved from wikiart.org Krasner, L. (1949). Untitled. Retrieved from wikiart.org Lajos, V. (1935). Dark self-portrait. Retrieved from wikiart.org Leger, F. (1955). Study for the two lovers. Retrieved from wikiart.org Seurat, G. (1883). Voilette. Retrieved from wikiart.org The post Self-Alienation appeared first on Personality Type in Depth. RSS Feed - Link To Personality Type In Depth Article https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95195&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 9/23

So we got the latest batch of episode titles, ep 1 synopsis, confirmation of Misha in 15x06, and a director for 15x07. Set reports are DRY.... I wonder if the last season has stepped up the secrecy. Here is to hoping there will be a “Shaving People, Punting Things” preview this week- usually they come out on Fridays. Here you go:

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who. 

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death. 

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch. 

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season. 

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

 Episode 15x01

Title: Back to the Future 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4. 

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage. 

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind. 

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack. 

 Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Buckleming 

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter. 

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park. 

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?) 

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it's a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

 Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Berens 

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

 Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: 

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn't exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn't acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn't always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

 Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing. 

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene. 

 Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas. 

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

 Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: 

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

 Episode 15x08

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: 

Director: 

Filming Dates:  

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 9/30

Some nuggets today! Some casting news, a con tidbit, some tweets from set, and an ep. 2 description. Enjoy!

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans. Unclear which ep (my guess is 7 because he used the present tense in a tweet). He is an old friend of Jensen’s. 

Episode 15x01

Title: Back and to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: SENDING OUT AN SOS – Sam (Jared Padalecki), Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Castiel (Misha Collins) call on Rowena (Guest Star Ruth Connell) to help keep the evil souls at bay and get an unexpected assist from Ketch (Guest Star David Haydn-Jones). Robert Singer directed the episode written by Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming (#1503). Original airdate 10/17/2019.

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it’s a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn’t exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn’t acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn’t always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas.

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

Ruth also posted a pic of herself covered in blood

At least Ruth and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment 

Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Jeremy Adams? (total guess, but he posted about things going on in the SPN offices and he hasn’t written one yet, plus he tweeted about being a “Kaniac”)

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars: maybe Christian Kane? Maybe?

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume,so just new shoes?? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised? This was on a Friday, and J2 usually don’t work Fridays. Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy. 

Episode 15x08

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director:

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 9/13

Reblogging early for all the amazing content we get today!! Will do again on Monday if needed. We got PHOTOS! PROMOS! A returning character!

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, and Adam

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Episode 15x01

Title: Back to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo:   (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex!

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason(A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it’s a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/3 (No filming on Labor Day?)

Airdate: 10/24

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn’t exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn’t acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn’t always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys)

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Episode 15x05

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? very doubtful Jack?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Not sure about Cas’s status in this one. He tweeted from home Friday, so I am going to say no.  I don’t think he was on set the first week of filming, have to see about next. 

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

Episode 15x06

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Jack?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Episode 15x07

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):