Rachel Barton, Lauren Beckwith, Tony Robles

In our first hour Martha speaks with Rachel Barton, editor of Willawaw Journal, about the new fall issue, now available for the price of your time and attention at Willawawjournal.com. We will also hear contributing poets Cecil Morris, Erica Reid and Conn

The feature image is a close-up of Sam Siegel’s Misty Chief–36″ x 36″ oil on canvas from Issue #17 Willawaw Journal Willawaw Journal, A Business of Ferrets Listen & Be Heard Podcast – Episode 32 Subscribe at Spotify Subscribe at Apple Subscribe at Google In our first hour Martha speaks with Rachel Barton, editor of Willawaw Journal, about the new fall issue, now available for the price of…

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Death is always around the corner

Azul + Death!Reader

Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, Vil, Idia, Malleus

Let's set the Scene: Masterlist

🐙Azul Ashengrotto🐙

Y/n is a being of darkness, so they are aware of things that go on in the dark. Both Literally and metaphorically. So they were aware of Azul's involvement with Leona and the potion Azul made.

And they know of the plan Azul was going to do with the upcoming exams.

Y/n warned the boys of Azul and told them to do honest studying. Or even come to them for answers and to study.

Yet the boys did not heed Y/n's warning and went to Azul. Y/n only sighed and let destiny take its course. Y/n sat down and contemplated their next target.

For they understood Azul's pain, but now he has let his pain blind him to the amazing person he could become. And now he tries to fill that void with greed and power. And now he is as cruel as those who had bullied him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"What–!? I just suddenly said what’s on my mind–!! Ah…!?" the poor student gasped.

"Ah, what an upsetting result. I am so shocked. And right after I granted your wish in order to uphold the Sea Witch’s benevolence.  And yet you still call me wicked and scheming?" Azu sighed phoning hurt emotions.

"I-I’m sorry…! You’ve got it wrong, that was–!!" "Hm, it is already too late to take your words back! Floyd, come. It is your turn," Azul interrupted.

"You guys are finally done talking~? Can I start squeezing tightly?" Floyd laughed.

"Don't you think he's had enough," said a voice.

The group turned to see Y/n sitting at the bar counter, drinking something from behind the counter.

"What are you doing here?! The Lounge is not open to the public right now," Azul glared.

"I just let myself in," Y/n said simply. "Quiet the shakedown you doing here."

"Am Afraid you have to leave. Jade Floyd show them out," Azul commanded.

Y/n chuckled as they watched Jade and Floyd approach. Y/n slowly stood up and smiled up at the twins with no fear, and with one swift motion. All the air was knocked out of the twins, as they collapsed to the ground. Azul and the boy watched in horror as Y/n approached.

Y/n slammed their hand on the table and glared at the poor student.

"Remember this well, when you make a deal with anyone. Even the people you may despise, you should always be the bigger person and fulfill your promises and payments. Understood?" Y/n growled.

"Yes I learned my lesson. I'll never fall behind on my promises," The random student cried.

"Then scram," Y/n said as the poor student ran in terror.

Azul simply stared nervesly as Y/n sat in the chair across from him, and stared him down.

"So, how has your life been?" Y/n asked suddenly.

"You barge in here just to ask that. Well, I'm doing fine cause business has been doing great. If that is all, please leave," Azul asked as kindly as possible.

"Are content with life, with yourself?" Y/n asked.

"W-what are you talking about. Of course, I am. I'm well on my way to a very successful life," Azul smiled confidently.

"So what's with the side hustle then if your lounge is so successful. Why do you covet things that don't belong to you?" Y/n asked.

"What are you getting at, it's the suckers Um I mean, the customer's choice to agree to my terms," Azul corrected as he held a smug tone.

"What purpose do you have with these powers? Are you compensating for something?" Y/n asked with a smirk. Putting Azul on slightly and edge, as he slowly glared. "Tring to fill the void of self-worth?"

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about," Azul said as he stood. "Where done here."

When suddenly Y/n stood up and quickly shoved Azul back into the seat.

"Cause I can tell you this," Y/n said as their eyes glowed a deep red. "This will never be enough."

----------------------------------

Sadly Azul did not take Y/n's words to heart and continued with his plans.

Of course, Y/n did not feel sorry for the students who were scammed or gambled on the contract to hope for the best outcome.

So Y/n let the boys suffer for a bit to learn their lesson, much to Jack's approval. But Adeuc and grim not so much. Though after seeing and hearing about the treatment of the tricked students. Y/n thought that this was enough.

So Y/n and Jack went to speak with Azul. The Poor octopus boy was still a bit shaken up from the last visit. But he put on a brave face and wanted to get his own revenge on Y/n.

-------------------------------------------

"Oh? Do you want to make a deal with me? What an interesting idea," Azul smirked.

"Aha~ Viper fish's got some guts," Floyd laughed.

" Very well. I understand that you want to make a deal with me, however…  We have a little problem, see? If I remember correctly, you do not possess any magic. You do not possess a beautiful voice nor are you a royal country’s only heir. You are but a simple beastman.  If you wish to ask for something big, the collateral must be of equal value," Azul listed off.

"A collateral?" Jack growled.

"For example… giving me the right to use the Ramshackle Dorm that you are currently in charge of," Azul smiled, as he watch Jack grow frustrated.

"! You were after that from the start, weren’t you!?" Jack snarled. when suddenly the door to the VIP door slammed open, and a soap cover grim came running in.

"I’m on board with that decision! I-I’m tired of living like this, yanno! My fur is not made for dishwashing!" Grim shouted

"Listen to what your one dorm-mate is saying, Y/n-san. What do you say? Will you give the Ramshackle Dorm as collateral to make a deal with me?" Azul smirked, but that soon falter by Y/n's unbothered expression.

" Stop it, Y/n! It’s definitely going to be a contract disadvantageous to you!" Jack warned.

"I want to hear the conditions you have," Y/n yawned.

"It’s refreshing to hear that kind of confidence," Azul said forcing a smile through his irritation. "In three days’ time, I want you to steal a certain picture from the Atlantica Memorial Museum in the Coral Seas. It is the commemoration picture of Prince Rielle’s visit taken 10 years ago. It is positioned right near the entrance, so historically, it is of little importance. It is just that, a simple picture."

"And if I somehow fail?" Y/n asked.

"If you manage to bring me the commemorative picture from the museum before the sun sets on the third day… I will release all 225 of the servants that I have working under me right now. However, if you are not able to do so…  Ramshackle Dorm will be mine. And you both shall be working under me afterward," Azul smiled darkly.

" It’s a deal," Y/n smiled softly, like a mother simply indulging in her child's game of pretend.

"Very well! Now then, please sign here," Azul smirked, thinking he was won. He couldn't wait to crush their confidence and hope.

__________________________________________

Yet Y/n was not afraid. For they went ahead of time and snatched the picture before they even told the twins that they wanted to talk to Azul.

But they simply played along and let Jack help them and grim. Yet Y/n being Death, they had no need to sleep. So they simply patrolled the dorm. Coming across the twins.

With an eerie smile, they gave the twin a reason to run with their tails between their legs. Earning the respect of many of the Savanaclaw students. Some even suggested that they just transfer to their dorm.

When the twins returned they were sadly out of commission for that day. But Y/n was not down dishing out the tournament. When one night,

Late at night, Azul sat in his office counting his sales, contracts, and another important document. When suddenly there was a crash, and the sound of glass Shattering. Azul sighed, thinking that now of the slave anemone workers failed to properly put the glass away. Sadly with nobody else around he had to clean up this mess.

Yet as he swept up the glass, the light suddenly went out. And the light from the tank turned dark. Azul tried to light up his surroundings with a light spell, but the darkness seemed to just eat up the light.

Before Azul could even compose himself, he heard footsteps around him. Followed by the sound of scraping of steel, and a familiar haunting whistle. There was suddenly another shatter, and in a panic, Azul ran toward his office. In the darkness flashes of red Eyes followed him as hands randomly grabbed at him.

The VIP door was just in sight, and he quickly grabbed the nob and ran inside. Just when he thought it was safe, the whistle returned. He looked up to see Y/n sitting at his desk, in his chair. Dressed in a black robe with the hood covering her eyes. They were fiddling with the golden coins on Azul's desk, as they continued to whistle. Y/n finally looked up to Azul as they placed a golden coin over their eyes, and pointed their scythe at him.

Azul began started to become hysterical as hey fumbled with the door handle. Y/n’s shadow began to stretch out across the ground, and just stop before Azul’s feet. The poor octopus boy finally got the door open and barricaded himself in his room for the whole night.

—————————————————

(Final Day)

When the final day and Y/n had one more plan up their sleeves. While The first years distracted the twins Y/n rounded up some savanaclaw student to cause chaos in the lounge.

While Azul, shaken up, still believed that he was ahead of the game. And was still certain about his victory. But was horrified by the sudden burst of rowdy customers, and there was no Jade or Floyd to handle them.

So he went to get supplies from the safe, only to gasp to see Leona with the keys. Leona taunted the boy a bit before returning the keys and leaving. But when Azul opened the safe.

The All contracts were Gone. When Azul confronted Leona, he learned that Y/n was the true mastermind in all of this. And they had long won before the battle even began.

Azul watched helplessly as the lion prince turned all the contracts into sand. The poor boy snapped, as the blot consumed him.

————————————————

As life flashed before Azul’s eyes, he noticed in the infinite darkness a familiar door. The door to his VIP room. He swam through the darkness, but he finally reached the door and stepped in. It was his office, but sitting down at his desk was Y/n.

They were reading a book, with his name printed on the front cover.

“Ah, Mr. Azul you’ve arrived. Please have a seat,” Y/n smiled softly.

Azul slowly and nervously sat down in the chair as Y/n flipped through a couple pages. Then they finally spoke.

“Thank you for coming in today. We have some very important things to discuss,” Y/n said as they turned the book over to the final page. “ You were supposed to die today.”

“W-What?!” Azul gasped.

“But, because of your friends and enemies kindness. You are now at an impasse. You stand on the edge of life and death. And you have a choice to make,” Y/n explained, as they showed him the wanted poster of himself. “Just sign here or there.”

Azul held the bone fish pen. He hovered over the dead for some time, when he noticed something on the poster. It read, Azul Ashengrotto, greedy sleazy scam artist.

“That’s not who I am,” Azul mumble.

“What was that sir?” Y/n asked.

“This title. That’s not who I am,” Azul glared. “I want this changed.”

“Alright,” Y/n said simply, as they reached down into a drawer and pulled a paper with questions on it. “You don’t need to answer all, but fill out the best you can.”

Azul got to work on the paper, at first the questions were pretty standard. Name, date of birth, and parents, but then the questions started getting strange. For example, what are your skill you treasure? How should one live their life? How you you wish to be remembered, and why? And finally, what is your self worth?

Azul filled out the best he could, but he was unable to fill out the last question. He handed Y/n back the paper, and Y/n began to write something at the bottom of the paper. They soon returned the paper, and Azul saw where Y/n wrote. Under, What does Death think of applicant?

Slowly Azul read what was written

Azul Ashengrotto, a greatly insecure boy, who hides behind a business man act. This is how he might see himself, but he is so much more than that.

He is a bright young octopus with great potential in both the business world or culinary if he so desired. He is a smart, clever, and talented individual. I have high hopes for him.

-Signed

Y/n Death

“Death, that can’t possibly be your last name,” Azul said, trying to distract himself from the overwhelming emotions he was feeling.

“Your right Y/n is just a name I add in front of my actual name," Y/n smiled.

“So you're saying your name is Death. That's unfortunate,'' Azul commented.

Y/n raised a brow as they just stared at Azul, as he slowly processed all the clues.

“W-wait Your... Death. As in Death itself?" Azul asked nervesly, as Y/n simply nod. "Then if you're the reaper then why are you asking me all these things. Aren't you supposed to kill me, are you toying with me?"

“Do you think of me as just a heartless monster? I may reap the life of the living, but I don't do this out of enjoyment. And what I write is simply what I see in the person in front of me," Death said as they sat up straight. " So what do you plan to do?"

Azul stared down at the wanted Poster, and the title under the name. And signed Alive.

“I still have many people I need to get back at, and there's still much I want to do," Azul said as he laced the pen down.

Death smiled softly and closed Azul's book. And before they stood they decided to give one more word of Advice.

“And Be careful of what you tie your self-worth to. Make sure it is the things you've earned, and not the gifts of others you collect," Y/n said as they offered a hand to Azul. "And knowing you. You already have many qualities to you."

As he took Death's hand, the VIP door opened revealing a blinding light. Y/n walked Azul to the door, but then stopped him.

"Oh, before I go I have to give you something," Y/n said as they pulled the photo out from their coat.

"The Photo! But, when?!" Azul gasped as he grabbed the photo.

"Since the beginning. I couldn't pass up the chance just to mess with you," Y/n laughed as they pushed him into the light.

----------------------------------------

Azul would finally come too, much to the twin's relief. As Azul recovered Floyd revealed the secret behind the photo. Much to Azul's horror.

As Azul hide his face in embarrassment, he noticed Y/n standing off by themselves. Looked over the Papers Azul signed and put them back into the book.

With a small nod, Y/n turned and left.

After all was said and done, Azul somewhat changed...Not really. But at least he wasn't enslaving people or scamming people out of their talents.

The young boy would notice Y/n visit the lounge every once in and while. Usually off at the far corner way from most. Yet Azul would usually be the one to serve them.

This was one of the few ways they would relax before winter came.

Azul " Good job on that shakedown you two." Floyd " Yeah it was fun." Jade " But we have plans?" Azul " You don't have any more work from me." Floyd " Shrimpy invited us out for ice cream."

Azul: why did they only invite you two?

Floyd: Shrimpy hates you

Jade: they told us they would gladly kill and cook you

Azul: (scared) keep them out of the Lounge

Floyd&Jade: no

It was a neat little trick, the hypnotist's show. But it was still just a trick. No different than any of the other hundred of stage hypnotist videos buried on Weird Youtube.

What set her apart was that she was good. The hypnotist had only been in Romero for two weeks and she'd already fleeced enough Carpenter State students to fill a bus. When Sylvia sent her student operatives Tyler and Andrea to scope out her midnight show, they'd returned the next morning with light wallets, still half-tranced.

Now Sylvia had to see it for herself.

Things were always boring in Romero until they weren't. Sylvia had to find her pleasures in the moments in between, mostly playing with her students like dolls. In Madison, she'd discovered just how far she could take it, crafting a mind controller of her own design. But the hypnotist's experience presented an exciting new challenge.

Sylvia bought a ticket to her show in River City and found herself completely enthralled. The young woman was as beautiful as she was charismatic. Her silky Spanish accent melted into the mind as her words washed over the crowd. She had complete command of everyone, not just her participants on stage.

Of course Sylvia knew the grift. The crowd was as important as the players. The hypnotist spent her days on campus scouting for marks, passing out flyers to her show. She was a student of people above all else and she made sure to pack her audience with the weakest wills in Romero.

She spoke softly into the microphone, facing the crowd instead of the four participants sitting up on stage. She'd been working everyone since the start of the show, and when she spoke directly to her audience they all listened.

A chorus of "I hear and obey" echoed from the small auditorium's seats. Sylvia smirked.

The hypnotist let the crowd come to her, the hypnotized audience rising from their seats and emptying their pockets on the stage before her feet. Sylvia watched the scene unfold from her place in the back.

A neat little trick indeed.

The hypnotist was surprised when Sylvia approached her after the show, even if she wasn't quite a deer in headlights. It was more of a curious surprise. She'd observed Sylvia watching from the back. Not her ideal audience member. At first she feared that the older woman was a cop, but she didn't have the look. Intrigued, she accepted Sylvia's invitation for drinks.

Sylvia picked a place outside of River City near Romero's culture district. A quiet lounge just a few blocks from Carpenter State's campus. It was Sylvia's home field.

"So you really study mind control?" the hypnotist asked between a sip of Cognac.

"Oh yeah," Sylvia replied. "Seventeen years now."

"'Dr. Sylvia Fielding'," the hypnotist read from Sylvia's card. "I can't say I've heard of you."

"Do you read a lot of academic journals?" Sylvia asked.

"One or two," the hypnotist joked.

"Truth be told, my kind of research doesn't get published often. You won't find me on Youtube hypnotizing spring breakers on the boardwalk either."

"You're a serious person," the hypnotist shrugged. "So is this a friendly drink or something else?"

"What do you think?" Sylvia smiled.

"You saw my show from start to finish and left of your own free will. If I had to guess I'd say this is a shakedown. Or..." She paused for effect, Sylvia noting the way the hypnotist tapped her fingers on the table, her nails clicking rhythmically on its glossy surface. "You find me irresistible and just had to see me up close."

Sylvia laughed. "Let me ask you something." She pulled one of the hypnotist's flyers from her purse and read out loud: "'Ivy Deseo'—that's not your real name is it?"

"No. If you had a show like mine you'd use a fake name too. It's dumb but I always had a thing for Poison Ivy. I'm not afraid to invite the comparison. Men and women fall before me but the men—they really fall."

There it was again, the tapping.

"You prefer the women, don't you?"

The hypnotist cocked her head to the side in consideration. "I'm not a lesbian, Dr. Fielding. I just prefer the challenge. When couples attend my show I know I can have the men kneeling before me, but their girlfriends—with a little effort I can make them do anything."

"Anything?" Sylvia repeated.

Tap, tap, tap.

"You want to come back to my hotel room," the hypnotist said.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Yes," Sylvia whispered.

"A little higher," the hypnotist instructed, arching her back as she sank into the pleasure washing over her body. "Slower...more pressure..."

Sylvia whimpered as she obeyed, slowing the movement of her tongue into deliberate upward strokes over the hypnotist's clit. She could feel the woman's thighs tightening in her grasp. She was inching closer.

"That's right, that's right," the hypnotist moaned. "Yes, just like that. Just like...fuck! Fuck, you're a good mindless slut, aren't you? Oh God, yes!"

She came loud, a display no doubt meant to demoralize Sylvia further. Good sluts make their mistress scream.

Sylvia stood up from her position on the floor, raising her hand up to her dripping chin.

"Don't wipe," the hypnotist said. "I want to admire you all covered in me."

"Is that how you like it?" Sylvia asked. "Use me and discard me?"

"Not much use for anyone once I've had my fun."

"So disappointing," Sylvia pouted. "I really expected more from you."

The hypnotist pushed herself up on her elbows. "Wait, how..?"

"Stop," Sylvia commanded, extending the palm of her hand. The hypnotist froze in place. "We could have had so much fun together," she sighed, remembering the days when her will clashed with Madison's.

Disappointed, Sylvia took the hypnotist through the regular speech. "Submission is a natural state of being, your will is mine, yadda, yadda."

The hypnotist's accent faded as she responded to Sylvia's induction. "Yes, Mistress. I obey, Mistress. My body is yours, Mistress." A California girl, if Sylvia had to guess. A suspicion confirmed when she picked through the woman's wallet. She pulled a couple hundred for Tyler and Andrea.

The hypnotist's name was Alma Rodriguez. She was twenty-seven years old.

"Tell me everything about Alma," Sylvia commanded.

"What do you want to know, Mistress?"

"Do you have a partner?"

"My boyfriend," Alma said. "He books my shows and scouts audience members."

"When did you start hypnotizing people?"

"I began playing with audio files in high school. I was very good at it."

"Any education?"

"I dropped out."

"I'm sure we can still find a place for you in my office," Sylvia said.

"What do you mean, Mistress?"

"You're going to stay in Romero," Sylvia said. "I'll take care of the boyfriend."

"Anything for you," Alma said quietly, her eyes glistening in blank surrender.

"That's right," Sylvia smiled. "Now let's see what you can do with your tongue."

Snippet Sunday

Tagged by @cr-noble-writes. Thank you!!

Tagging @bioticbooty, @shadesofmauve, @pigeontheoneandonly, @laelior, @crescentbunny and anyone else who feels so inclined, no obligations!

From Mezzo.

~

Shepard lets go and takes a step back. Something red flashes in his eyes, eerily reminiscent of staring down Sovereign’s main gun. We rebuilt him, Lawson had told him. Like Shepard was a drive core that could be taken apart and put back together. The Two Billion Credit Man.

By comparison, Joker’s bone weave procedure had been a hell of a bargain. In addition to the Hero of the Citadel, you can also have a fucked-up pilot of your very own for a fraction of the price!

The Alliance hadn’t thought that was much of a deal. They wouldn’t even pay for the bone weave. Nice to know your life pencils better if you just ally yourself with terrorists. If Cerberus really wants to bump up their recruiting numbers, all they really need to do is lead with the health plan.     

“The Illusive Man said he had a pilot I could trust,” Shepard says.

“He may have been exaggerating. My track record isn’t great.”

I killed you. But here you are, alive. You, and my ship.

Shepard stares at him with that ice gaze, like he’s processing something and the gears got caught.

Coming back from the dead probably makes you think about a few things. Joker wouldn’t know. He hadn’t died. Because Shepard had done it in his place.

Why do you always have to be such a fucking savior?

“How did you get here?” Shepard asks finally. “Did you know about…whatever this is?” He nods out the window, at the silent, sleek Normandy that’s just as new and perfect as the one that had set out for Eden Prime three years ago. Like everything Joker wrought had been forgotten.

“Yeah,” Joker says with a nod. It was their biggest selling point. It…and you.

“This has to be bullshit. The Normandy is the only stealth frigate online. The Ain Jalut isn’t scheduled for shakedown for months. It’s—”

“Ain Jalut’s been flying for over a year now,” Joker says, guts twisting into a knot. And they didn’t put me at the helm. “Three more are in production now, last I heard. No idea how Cerberus got the specs, but she’s definitely an SR. I toured the ship this morning.”

And it had felt like coming home.

Except, instead of Pressly grouching about relay vectors from the CIC and Addison Chase gossiping about Felawa while Joker ran calcs, a disembodied AI calmly answered all of his questions.

If you can’t beat the enemy, join them, Joker supposes. Just throw in a few cushy upgrades like leather seats and a tricked-out lounge, and no one will notice the missing people Cerberus didn’t resurrect.

The ones whose lives didn’t pencil.  

Sponsor max flying out Daniel to some exotic, tropical location during the winter break because he knows that Daniel can’t stand the cold

after the launch in vegas where daniel was a cold cold boi and knowing they were going to italy thats also cold as hell

after the shakedown, Brad, Max's main PA picks him up directly from Faenza. Daniel doesn't answer any of Blake's questions, he doesn't know whats going on exactly but he knows Max is behind it. and he can't say no to Max

He isn't surprised to see Max's jet, or Max lounging comfortably on said jet. Daniel gets changed in the bathroom and doesn't bother to ask any questions. Max smiles at him brightly as the plane taxi's off

West Coast Tour 2024 w/ BOOGARINS

FULL DATES:

Feb 21 - Soda Bar - San Diego, CA^

Feb 22 - Soda Bar - San Diego, CA^

Feb 23 - Teragram Ballroom - Los Angeles, CA~

Feb 24 - Cornerstone - Berkeley, CA^

Feb 25 - TBA - Santa Cruz, CA^

Feb 27 - Volcanic Theater Pub - Bend, OR

Feb 28 - Star Theater - Portland, OR

Feb 29 - The Pearl - Vancouver, BC

Mar 1 - The Shakedown - Bellingham, WA

Mar 2 - Freakout Weekender - Seattle, WA

Mar 5 - The Shredder - Boise, ID

Mar 6 - The State Room - Salt Lake City, UT

Mar 7 - Marquis - Denver, COMar 8 - Sister Bar - Albuquerque, NM

Mar 9 - Lowbrow Palace - El Paso, TX

Mar 10 - Rebel Lounge - Phoenix, AZ

Mar 12 - Constellation Room - Santa Ana, 

Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge (August 10, 2023)

23:57 Jako Diaz & Margret - Mirror 23:54 The Alan Parsons Project - The Turn Of A Friendly Card 23:50 Morcheeba - Slow Down 23:46 Daniel Portman - Sensual Desires 23:41 Rìfìs Du Sol - Alive (Anyma Remix) 23:37 Bob Marley - Sun Is Shining 23:33 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Josha Daniel - Oscillations 23:27 Mm Project - Sand 23:24 Blank & Jones Feat. Kyle Pearce - All Of Me 23:21 The Hitmen - Turn Off The Lights 23:16 Boozoo Bajou - Lava 23:09 Valeron - Jamal 23:03 Shakedown - At Night (Afterlife Remix) 22:57 Jens Gad - El Momento 22:54 Möwe - Bad Intentions 22:52 Vinai - Hide Away 22:48 Groove Da Praia - Is This Love 22:46 Felix Jaehn, Cheat Codes Feat. Bow Anderson - I Just Wanna 22:38 Doyeq & Jay Medvedeva - Break Into My Walls (Armen Miran & Hraach Remix) 22:34 Los Alamos Country Club - Children (Ambient Remix) 22:27 Worakls - By The Brook 22:22 Blank & Jones - Give It To Me 22:19 Felix Jaehn Feat. Zoe Wees - Do It Better 22:16 Junge, Junge Feat. Jamie Hartma - Wicked Hearts 22:13 Sam Feldt Feat. Deepend & Teemu - Runaways 22:09 Daniel Portman - Vulnerable 22:06 Edx & Amba Shepherd - Off The Grid 22:03 Mark Brown - The Journey Continues (Acoustic Version) 22:00 Lost Frequencies Feat. Love Harder - Beat Of My Heart 21:57 Parov Stelar - Fire 21:50 Tom Novy Feat. Amadeas - Dancing In The Sun Feat. Amadeas (Tapesh & Dayne S Remix) 21:46 Sound Nomaden - The Morning After 21:44 Agatino Romero - I'm Feeling For You 21:39 Minus Blue - You're Not Alone 21:33 Joachim Pastor & Signum - Something You Need (Extended Mix) 21:29 Jasmon - Bamboo Queen 21:26 Armin Van Buuren & Garibay - Phone Down 21:21 Fous De La Mer - Luces 21:16 Yonderboi - Sinking Slowly 21:09 John Kah - Carina (Enui Remix) 21:06 Dimitri Vegas - Pull Me Closer 21:03 Mike Perry Feat. Casso - Inside The Lines 20:59 Sum Wave - Goodbye Earth 20:54 Mike Candys & Jack Holiday - La Serenissima 20:49 Melounge - Too Much Sugar 20:45 Above & Beyond Feat. Justine Suissa - Little Something 20:42 Elderbrook - I Need You 20:38 Avec - Under Water (Club Edit) 20:31 Blank & Jones - White Light 20:24 The Normalites - The Sun Rising (Shur-i-kan Vocal) 20:22 Swedish House Mafia & The Weeknd - Moth To A Flame 20:19 Julian Wassermann - Painfully 20:13 Depeche Mode - Freelove 20:11 Minelli, Filatov & Karas Remi - Rampampam 20:05 Christopher Von Deylen - Euphoria 19:59 Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing (Kygo Remix) 19:57 Lunax & Zana - Gone Tomorrow 19:54 Sanah - Invisible Dress (Maro Music X Skytech Remix) 19:48 Esteban Garcia - Para Mi 19:42 Anrey - The Forgotten (Extended Mix) 19:35 Monolink & Zigan Aldi - Fidale (I Feel) Vocal Version 19:29 Funkstar De Luxe - Sun Is Shining 19:23 Röyksopp & Jamie Irrepressible - The Next Day (Mind Against Remix) 19:17 Oliver Koletzki - A Tribe Called Kotori 19:14 Robin Schulz - Above The Clouds 19:07 Blond:ish Feat. Shawni - Wizard Of Love 19:04 Jones & Brock Feat. 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Evelyn - Dark Love 09:03 Blank & Jones With Coralie Clement - Days Go By 08:57 Rodg - Heights 08:48 Boral Kibil - Never Again (Bobby Deep Mix) 08:44 In Credo - Siesta Del Sol 08:39 Two Lanes - Pièces Froides: Ii. Danses De Travers 08:36 Glockenbach Ft. Clockclock - Brooklyn 08:29 High Heels Breaker Feat. Sarah Palin - Come Easy (David August Remix) 08:27 Feder & Ofenbach Feat. Dawty Music - Call Me Papi 08:22 Sine - Smooth Relaxation 08:11 Cell - Above The Clouds (Live Version) 08:03 David Hohme - Fear Less (Hraach Remix) 07:59 Kygo Feat. Sandro Cavazza - Happy Now 07:57 Tiësto & Karol G - Don't Be Shy 07:51 Deep Dive Corp. & Setsuna - Transatlantic 07:47 Niles Cooper - Lamplight Rains 07:43 Elderbrook & Bob Moses - Inner Light 07:41 Sons Of Maria - A Kiss Like This 07:36 Dk Dent - A Walk In The Park 07:33 Brando - Don't Call Me (Galantis Remix) 07:30 Klingande, Wrabel - Big Love 07:27 Alle Farben Feat. Janieck - Little Hollywood 07:24 Sans Souci - Take My Breath Away (Original Mix) 07:20 Feder Feat. Emmi - Blind 07:17 Max Johann & Layrz - Tell It To My Heart 07:13 Nihoni - After Sun 07:07 Roger Shah, Feel, Zara Taylor - One Life (Pedro Del Mar & R.i.b Chillout Remix) 07:04 Topic Feat. Nico Santos) - Home (Alle Farben Remix) 07:01 Loud Luxury - Cold Feet 06:55 Joachim Pastor - Joda (Worakls Remix) 06:50 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You (Frankey & Sandrino Remix) 06:47 Alle Farben & Fools Garden - Lemon Tree 06:40 Parra For Cuva - The Fifth Hand 06:37 Milk & Sugar Feat. John Paul Young - Love Is In The Air 06:33 Blank & Jones - Into The Sun 06:29 Wamdue Project - King Of My Castle 06:26 Basixx - Stay In Your Sunlight 06:23 Sam Feldt X Lush & Simon Feat. Inna - Fade Away 06:20 Bernward Koch - Lonely Dream (Solo Piano) 06:15 Lstn - Sky & Sand 06:13 Sans Souci Feat. 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Lau.ra - Heart Attack 03:15 Stefano Saletti & Piccola Banda Ikona - Tagama 03:09 Exstra - Comet (Extended Mix) 03:05 Lstn, Arya Noble - Desert Walk 02:59 Nora En Pure - Tears In Your Eyes (Extended Mix) 02:52 Jean-michel Jarre - Equinoxe, Pt. 4 02:48 Tycho - Horizon 02:40 Burudu - Sun Theory (Original Mix) 02:33 Christopher Von Deylen - Opaque 02:31 The Holy Santa Barbara Feat. Madugo - The Sailor Song 02:27 Pang! - Walking In The Sun 02:22 Pete Tong & Tale Of Us Feat. Jules Buckley - Time 02:19 Schiller - Once Upon A Time (Cahill Remix) 02:14 Afterlife - Espalmador 02:11 Avaion X Vize X Leony - Pieces 02:05 Blank & Jones With Claudia Brücken - Unknown Treasure 02:02 Kygo & Sasha Sloan - I'll Wait 01:59 Atb & Topic - Your Love (9pm) 01:53 Lounge Generation & Namara - Inner Voice 01:50 Vamero & Lizot - Bleeding Love 01:47 Lost Frequencies & Mathieu Koss - Don't Leave Me 01:42 Bacaro - Under Presure 01:38 Jean-michel Jarre - Equinoxe, Pt. 5 01:35 Younotus Feat. Chris Gelbuda - When I Think About You 01:28 Max Melvin - Sometimes 01:23 Lstn - Floral Decor 01:20 Ac Venture - Rain In Spain (Roberto Sol Remix) 01:17 Jonas Blue Feat. Dakota - Fast Car 01:12 Schiller - White Nights (Don't Let Me Go) 01:07 Nikko Culture - Break My Heart 01:03 Edx - Vommuli 01:00 Twopilots - Take My Breath Away 00:55 Les Negresses Vertes - Face A La Mer 00:51 Above & Beyond - The Inconsistency Principle 00:45 Blank & Jones - Coh 00:39 Chris Zippel Feat. Tusnelda - Blade 00:35 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 00:30 Claptone Feat. Dizzy - Queen Of Ice Queen Of Ice 00:26 The Chill Out Orchestra - Wish You Were Here 00:23 Together Alone - Let Go 00:20 Thrdl!fe & Sleepwalkrs - Outta My Head 00:17 Disciples - On My Mind 00:13 Thomas Gold Feat. Bright Sparks - Seventeen 00:10 Alphawezen - 4043 00:07 Dj Antoine Feat. Chanin & Jona Xx - Dancing In Tulum 00:04 Portishead - Revenge Of The Number

Captain Rex Is In Trouble

Chapter 3: Downtime And The Duality Of Man (Cody)

AO3

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Summary

Rex didn’t get a lot of time to relax when he was aboard the Resolute. If they weren’t in active battle, they were either preparing for it or recovering from it. Even his leisure time was taken up with datawork, disciplinary actions, training, and making sure that Ahsoka was doing her independent learning, assuming Anakin wasn’t around to help her.

Notes

Sophi is named after my late dog. I will take no criticism on this.

Rating: T

Warnings

N/A

Rex didn’t get a lot of time to relax when he was aboard the Resolute. If they weren’t in active battle, they were either preparing for it or recovering from it. Even his leisure time was taken up with datawork, disciplinary actions, training, and making sure that Ahsoka was doing her independent learning, assuming Anakin wasn’t around to help her.

It was a sad statement about his life that these days that the most relaxing thing he did was datawork.

That being said, he reckoned he'd figured out a way to make it more enjoyable. Doing it with either a cup of kaf, tea, hot chocolate, or brandy in one hand was the first way, but he'd learnt that location and company also had a lot to do with making it more bearable. They’d cleared out a storage room on the Resolute, shoved a few old sofas in there and thrown blankets and handmade cushions about to make it comfortable. They called it the officer’s lounge, but really it was Torrent’s hang-out space.

Venators are big. They’re full of empty spaces, emergency bunk space and extra storage. Most companies have made themselves a similar spot, or kitted out their bunk rooms with homemade furniture and other things. Today, in Torrent’s designated chillaxing den - Anakin’s words and not Rex’s - the company was also as good as it got. 

Ahsoka was lying on a rug, made from scraps of old black undersuits all woven together. She kicked her feet together, chewing her stylus thoughtfully as she worked on whatever it is she was working on. Anakin and Echo were working on reports, as was Jesse. Fives was supposed to be doing that too, but he was dozing instead. Kix and Hardcase were both filling out requisition forms, for medical and weaponry respectively.

The best bit though, was that Cody and Obi-Wan were there. Rex hadn’t actually seen Cody in person since the dinner party last month, but the joint operation they were working on meant that he and Obi-Wan were staying on the Resolute to prepare. Now they were lounging on one of the sofas, leaning against each other while they each did their respective work.

Well, Obi-Wan was working. Cody was scowling into his datapad and typing incessantly, so he was probably arguing with someone in his batch chat.

Dogma and Tup were there too, doing their own thing. Torrent’s newest members were both fairly quiet. Rex was trying to keep a close eye on them after Umbara. To say it had been a rough first deployment was a little bit of an understatement. 

Not everyone in the battalion had seen how close they’d gotten to true disaster, but Dogma and Tup had been too involved not too. The top brass had decided to keep it quiet, which Rex wasn’t comfortable with but he was unfortunately used to by now. He wasn't sure how Dogma and Tup were taking it.

It was unfair they had so much to deal with on their first shakedown, but nothing was fair in Rex’s experience. He was keeping an eye on them both, still waiting for it to hit them. He or Kix would make sure they were there to catch them when it did.

Today wasn’t going to be that day though. Dogma was invested in something on his pad. It looked like he was reading, scowling deeply. It didn’t look like he was reading a story with an expression like that, but Rex didn’t know what else it could be. Member of the 501st’s premier company he might be, but he was still a little too shiny to be doing any actual datawork, however that was a datawork expression if Rex had ever seen one.

Tup, with his rapidly tapping fingers and tongue stuck out to one side, was clearly playing a game. He looked like he was having fun.

Rex went back to his datawork, smiling a little to himself. They reminded him a lot of him and Kix, or Fives and Echo, Fox and Wolffe. Everyone had a favourite batchmate, and if you were lucky enough, you might get to keep them.

"Oh that sith sucking son of a whore!"

Fives woke up, coughing.

Cody, while not Rex’s batchmate, was definitely tied with Kix for 'favourite'. Especially when he did stuff like this.

He’d only recently relaxed enough to remove the stick from his ass around Torrent and Ghost, largely thanks to Kenobi. It was odd, because according to Fox, Cody pretty frequently gushed about them, Fives and Echo in particular, on their private batch chat that Rex wasn't allowed into for bullshit reasons. However, there were plenty of things that were slightly odd about Cody, and one of those things was his obsession with trying to keep his professional and personal lives separate. 

It was a losing game, for many reasons, the first of which being their personal and professional lives were one and the same. Did it even count as a professional life if you were a slave?

Anyway. The rest of Torrent hadn't yet been exposed to this side of Cody.

The deranged bastard side, that is. 

There are six people that could make Cody pull that expression, and Rex was pretty sure he hadn’t done anything recently to earn it. Nor was Cody currently trying to beat the snot out of him, so it must be one of the others.

Actually, Cody was glaring fiercely at Obi-Wan, so it might not be any of them. Nice for Obi-Wan that he’d been promoted to the list of people that could make Cody absolutely lose his shit.

"Is there a problem darling?" Kenobi enquired lightly, not looking up from his datapad. It was absolutely the correct reaction. 

Nothing could make Cody lose his shit faster than ignoring him while he was in a strop. This was going to be entertaining.

"It was you," Cody seethed, pointing an accusatory finger at Obi-Wan.

"What was me?" Kenobi murmured, still not looking up from his pad.

Kix, having known Cody for only a few months less than Rex, didn’t look up from his work either. 

Fives, Echo, Hardcase and Jesse were looking at Cody with expressions of fascination, horror, glee and utter confusion, in that order. Dogma and Tup looked like eeyopies caught in speeder headlights, their faces identical expressions of shock. Ahsoka was watching him like he was a particularly entertaining animal at the zoo.

She wasn’t wrong. Rex loved it when Cody went off like this, especially in front of people who hadn’t seen it before. He was usually so calm and controlled, it was like he bottled it all up. Shake that bottle, and watch him explode. Rex wished he had some bangcorn. 

Another good thing about having Ahsoka around was that Kenobi was around much more often too, something about lineage pride and not trusting Anakin with a child. That was what he said at least, but Rex reckoned it was because he adored the kid just as much as everyone else did. 

Rex was friendly enough with Obi-Wan. Some days it felt like they were Anakin's parents, exasperated and bemused and occasionally banging their heads against the wall. It was nice to see more of him, but with Obi-Wan came Cody. No offence to Kenobi, but Rex much preferred his big brother.

That, coupled with the removal of the stick from his ass, had led to their current situation: off-duty datawork in companionable silence, until Cody started swearing about… well, Rex wasn't entirely sure yet, but it was bound to be entertaining.

"You told Fox all that stuff about me," Cody hissed, a little quieter.

That made Obi-Wan look up. Rex leaned forward.

"What stuff?" he asked, blinking confusedly.

"Stuff," Cody whined, "about me, that I don't want him to know."

"Wait," Anakin said, frowning. "You tell Fox stuff about sex with Cody?"

"What?"

"What?"

Cody, Anakin and Obi-Wan all looked at each other with utter confusion. Fives looked like he was to vibrate out of his skin with uncontrolled joy. Dogma looked utterly horrified.

Kix sighed and put his datapad down.

"Where the hell did you get that idea from?" Cody exclaimed.

"You said it was stuff that you don't want Fox knowing!" Anakin shouted back.

"Not sex stuff," Cody exploded. "Unless-" he turned back towards Obi-Wan. "You don't talk to Fox about sex with me, right?"

"Of course I don’t!"

Fives and Hardcase started cackling in the background. 

"Cody, what in the Galaxy are you talking about?" Kenobi sighed. "What ‘stuff’ am I telling Fox?"

"Embarrassing stuff!" Cody exclaimed. "Like. Me getting injured and Rex forcefully sedating me.” Echo smothered his laugh with a cough, badly. Cody glared at him before turning back to Obi-Wan. “I thought it was Rex that told on me, but then a few months after that Fox knew I got concussed walking into a door and Rex didn't know about that, and I didn't let Sophi file a report about it either, so it must've been you!"

"You got a concussion by walking into a door?" Anakin asked.

"Again? Cody," Kix sighed. "That's really not good for your brain."

"What brain?" Rex muttered. He ducked the random bit of metal Cody threw at his head with ease.

"It was only mild, my brain's fine," Cody dismissed, already moving on.

"Wait," Rex said, frowning. "Those were both months ago. How are you only figuring this out now?"

"Wait. You knew about it?"

"Sophi told us immediately," Kix said, stretching his back out. "Sent me the scans so I could see your lonely brain cell for myself. Poor sick thing."

Dogma looked terrified that Cody might explode Kix with his mind for the insubordination. Force knew it looked like he was trying. It wouldn’t take long for Dogma to figure out that insubordination may as well be Kix’s middle name. 

Hell, they only had one name. It may as well be his first.

Cody gave up glaring at Kix and rounded back on Rex.

"So it was you who told Fox?"

"Nah," Rex shrugged, "I don't tend to tell him stuff I want to use as my own blackmail later."

Their audience watched on, fascinated.

"No. It was me, I'm afraid," said Obi-Wan, "on both occasions. I wasn't aware that you knew each other."

“Fox wouldn’t have told you on purpose,” Cody said easily. “Not your fault.”

He sat back down, steepling his fingers together and squinting.

“This requires revenge,” he glanced back at Obi-Wan. “You in?”

“Not in the slightest,” he replied, going back to his work. Cody pouted, but Obi-Wan just kept working on his datapad.

“I’m in,” Anakin said, crossing his legs and leaning forwards. “I’m always down for a little revenge, doesn’t matter whose.”

“You shouldn’t cross Fox, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmured, scrolling through his datapad slowly. “He rents your arm back to you at a very reasonable price.”

“Excuse me?” Rex said.

“I lost my arm, my prosthetic one, to Fox in a game of strip sabacc,” Anakin explained as if it made any sense. “Or it might have been snap… it’s a bit fuzzy. We were very drunk.”

“Anakin and Fox are no longer allowed to socialise unsupervised,” Obi-Wan added.

Everyone stared at Anakin.

“I can see that,” Cody said after a brief pause.

“It wasn’t even that bad,” Anakin said, rolling his eyes.

“If you hadn’t spilled the last of that bottle, there is a very real possibility you both would have died from alcohol poisoning.”

“We barely hallucinated.”

“That’s not good, Anakin!”

“So what do you pay him to use your arm?” Rex asked curiously.

“The reasonable monthly cost of my immortal soul,” Anakin replied easily.

Ahsoka started giggling, rolling onto her back and clutching at her stomach.

“We also don’t play strip sabacc anymore,” Obi-Wan said. “Fox said he was bored of seeing us naked and wanted our money instead.”

“What?” Cody coughed.

“We started with strip sabacc on the basis that Fox didn't have any money, or many possessions to bet with.”

“After that last game of sabacc, I think he has more money than us now,” Anakin lamented.

“No. Wait. Stop.” Cody held his hands up, staring at Obi-Wan. “Fox has seen you naked?”

“Both of us. Several times,” Obi-Wan said. “He’s really very good at sabacc. It’s highly irritating.”

“Oh come on,” Anakin said, stretching his back. “If you actually cared that much you could win easily. You just let them have their fun because you don’t want to admit how nice you actually are.”

Obi-Wan’s head snapped up.

“What do you mean, let ‘them’ have their fun?”

Anakin blinked. 

“You mean you don't know?”

“Know what?”

There was a brief moment where Anakin and Obi-Wan were staring at each other, both confused. It hung in the air like a bead of water hanging from the tap, mere microseconds before it dropped. Then Anakin’s face cracked into a wide, triumphant smile.

“Hah! I noticed something you didn't!” he crowed, jabbing a finger in Obi-Wan's scowling face.

“Anakin, tell me-”

“Me! I noticed something that you, Mr Observant, Mr Genius Investigator, didn't!” he leapt up from his spot on the sofa, hair flopping around his face. “This might be the greatest day of my life! Ahsoka, take a holo.”

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan cried, outraged.

After a brief staring contest, Anakin rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the couch.

“Oh fine,” he sulked. “You know how whenever you play sabacc with Fox, Vos is always there too?”

Obi-Wan nodded, slowly.

“And even though Vos is almost as good as you at sabacc, when you play with Fox he always loses even worse than you do?”

Obi-Wan looked confused for a moment, then there was a split second when realisation dawned before his face was overtaken with absolute fury. Rex hadn’t seen Obi-Wan look like that before, but it was the same expression that Cody had been wearing only minutes beforehand.

“Oh that utter fucking slut,” he seethed. “I'm going to murder him. What a fucking whore.”

He stood and began pacing the room, Ahsoka scrambling out of his way as she continued to giggle helplessly.

“I don't get it.” Hardcase said slowly.

“He's deliberately throwing the odds so that his boyfriend wins,” Obi-Wan explained, running a hand through his hair.

“Who is?”

“Vos! My so-called best friend!” Obi-Wan continued to pace. “I'm going to burn his hair off, I swear it. How did I never notice?”

“Because you're so unhealthily competitive that when you start to lose a card game you go completely insane?” Anakin offered. “Lose your grip on reality and turn into a screaming toddler?”

“You do, Master Obi-Wan,” Ahsoka said, resting her chin on her knees. “You really do.”

“If I wasn’t so incensed, you’d both be punished,” Obi-Wan said, thumbing his beard. “As it stands…” He turned towards Cody. “I retract my previous statement.”

“What?”

“Revenge. Let's do it.”

“This is why I love you,” Cody said, standing and clapping Obi-Wan on the shoulders. As he leaned forwards to brush a kiss against Obi-Wan’s lips; Anakin, Rex and Ahsoka made simultaneous gagging noises. 

“Shut up,” Cody said as he pulled back. “So, Cyare, let's start planning.”

“I wouldn’t,” Kix muttered. “Last time you tried to get revenge on Fox you ended up with a serious concussion and sharp force trauma to your forehead.”

“What did he do to you?” Ahsoka exclaimed, looking up at Cody with wide eyes.

“Oh. Nothing. I was chasing him and I fell down some stairs,” Cody dismissed. “Besides, that's not the last time I tried to get revenge on Fox, that’s just the last time you knew about it.”

“Good thing I did,” Kix muttered. “Rex and Fox thought you were dead. They were going to throw your body into the ocean so they didn’t get in trouble with the longnecks.”

“In my defence,” Rex said, holding his hands up, “I knew Cody wasn’t dead, I just really wanted him to be.”

He dodged another flying projectile, laughing.

“Wait, Kamino doesn’t even have stairs,” Fives said, leaning forwards.

“The access walkways on the outside of the cities do,” Rex explained. “Cody chased Fox out there one day after Fox stole his contraband.”

“How long have you all known each other?” Tup said. He flushed a little as Rex turned to him.

“Cody and Fox and the rest of their asshole batch?” Rex said. “Since I was almost five.”

“I found Rex in the garbage and felt sorry for him,” Cody explained, wrapping an arm around Obi-Wan as he settled back down beside him. “Worst mistake of my life.”

Rex flipped him off with a grin.

“Known them for even longer than I’ve known Kixy over there,” he finished.

“Wait,” Hardcase said. “I thought you two were batchmates?”

Rex swallowed, glancing at Kix then Cody. He sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

“We were, but not originally,” he said quietly. “We were a scraps batch.”

Hardcase nodded, and Tup and Dogma glanced at each other quietly.

“What’s that?” Ahsoka asked quietly.

“A scraps batch is a batch made up of clones who lost their original batches,” Kix explained quietly. 

“Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all in the past,” Rex replied. “Sides, I did pretty well out of it. Kixy here, and Keeli. Sophi and Howie. We had fun.”

“Sure did,” Kix murmured, and they mimed high-fiving across the room.

“I’m your favourite though,” Cody said.

“Least favourite, more like.”

“I should have left you in the trash you ungrateful piece of shit.”

“Fox is my favourite. He’s nicer to me than you are.”

“Cos Foxes love garbage is why.”

Rex flung a pillow at Cody’s head, who ducked laughing.

“Back to planning revenge,” he continued. “It’ll have to be next time we’re on Coruscant, unless we’re sneaky about it. Anakin could help us slice into their comms or something.”

“Yeah,” Kix snorted, “because that's gonna go well. Have you ever actually managed to get revenge on Fox? Ever?” 

“Once. It was the greatest day of my life.”

“What did you do?” Echo asked, leaning forwards. 

“I farted in his helmet,” Cody said. Jesse choked. “He doesn’t know. Although, that helmet got destroyed so I need to fart up his new one.”

“I can’t believe you’re a Marshall Commander,” Kix sighed. “That’s the worst revenge ever.”

“Hey, it’s old school but it worked!”

“It’s childish!”

"It's awful, Commander," Fives said, grinning. "Really shit. Aren't you supposed to be a tactical genius or something?" 

Cody gestured rudely at Fives, who started laughing so hard he collapsed sideways into Echo.

“I’m not sure I can think of anything belonging to Quinlan that you could fart in,” Obi-Wan mused, stroking his beard. “Not anything he uses often anyway.”

“Getting any kind of revenge on Fox is doomed to fail,” Rex said. “Especially if you throw Vos into the mix. He’s like… Fox but less bothered about appearing sane in public, and he’s a Jedi. He’s Fox with a lightsaber. You’re both fucked. No offence, General Kenobi.”

“None taken,” Obi-Wan said. “I’m fully aware of what ridiculously dramatic and sadistic bastards they both can be. Quinlan and I grew up together.”

Cody chuckled.

“Having Fox and Wolffe as older brothers growing up was great,” he mused, stretching his arms behind his head. “Both of them are such fucking assholes. As long as they weren’t pissed off at you they were so much fun. Fox could build paint bombs.”

“Commander Fox,” Jesse said, his eyebrow raised. “Really? The guy who busted us just for crashing a couple speeders?”

Rex remembered Fox laughing at him afterwards and calling his men a bunch of idiots while forcing Rex to watch the video of said idiocy over and over again. A few months ago Fox had even sent a video of him perfectly executing the move they’d been attempting, because he was an asshole.

“Him and Wolffe, they're kind of like Fives and Echo,” Cody explained.

“How’d you mean?” Fives asked.

“You know,” Rex said. “Echo uses Fives to distract from the fact he's even better at making trouble, but also even better at hiding it? Kinda like that.”

“Hey!”

“I once watched Fox eat ten pudding cups in ten minutes, just because Wolffe bet he couldn't,” Rex reminisced, ignoring both of the outraged domino twins. “He threw up all over his bunk. He's just…. Really good at being professional during work hours. Like Cody.”

“Damn straight,” Cody said, jabbing his finger in Rex’s direction. “And I can be just as much of a deranged bastard as those two can be too. Don’t you forget it.”

Rex snorted.

“If anyone has any friends in the Guard, you might want to warn them that Cody is about to get his ass kicked.”

“I’ll com Game,” Echo said. “She’ll be able to get us the holos.”

“Fuck the both of you,” Cody said. “Where the kark is the loyalty here?”

“With Fox,” Rex replied easily. “I’m not gonna bet against a sure thing.”

“Cheeky prick.” 

Before he could even blink, Cody lunged. Rex was slammed sideways off his chair and to the floor in an instant. The others scrambled out of the way, laughing as he and Cody grappled with each other. Rex howled as Cody got a hold of his boxers and pulled them up, giving him the wedgie from hell. 

If he was going to be like that, Rex saw no problem with digging his teeth into Cody’s arm. That meant he let go of Rex’s pants but it meant his hands were free to jab his knuckles into Rex’s sides. Rex grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked. His minor victory was short-lived, it was hard to keep hold of Cody’s freshly trimmed inch long regulation cut, but it didn’t make Cody’s shout of pain any less satisfying. At least not until he found himself being flipped over and crushed.

The door slid open and someone walked in. The boots were painted in 212th gold but Rex couldn’t see much else as Cody squished him into the floor.

“Kix, you got a minute?” Sophi said. “I need to discuss supplies for the upcoming manoeuvres with you. Hey Rex… Cody.”

Cody shoved Rex into the floor and stood, glaring at her. Rex stayed where he was, gazing at the ceiling as he caught his breath. He craned his neck to see his second favourite batchmate and the 212th's chief medic, datapad in hand as she raised an eyebrow at her Commander.

“You!” Cody shouted, pointing at her. “You ever heard of battalion loyalty?” 

“Nope,” Sophi replied.

“What about patient confidentiality?

Sophi sighed.

“Is this about your endless string of concussions?” she asked. “I only shared that information with Kix, a fellow medical professional. Not my fault that Rex read it.”

“It was on your batch chat!”

“Whatever,” Sophi said, cocking her hip. “Boil was looking for you, needs you to sign some stuff.”

“Fine, but we’re talking about this at your annual review,” Cody said, scowling. He leaned down to kiss Obi-Wan goodbye, his sulky child demeanour being smothered by the ever professional  marshall commander. 

“I’ll try to pretend I care,” Sophi drawled, moving to sit beside Kix and handing him her datapad. 

“Watch it, Lieutenant,” Cody said, straightening his off-duty reds.

No one could quite pull off the flip between sober professional and hyperactive arsehole like Cody. No one could change so completely, or so quickly. Fox almost had it down, but then sometimes that sardonic smile of his would creep in at the edges, when he just couldn't help himself. Bly was equally professional, but was also just a genuinely kind and calm person. Cody flattened his hair back down and the transformation was complete, no more boisterous big brother- only the steadfast and capable marshall commander remained.

Rex smiled fondly as Cody strode out of the door. No one outside would be any the wiser, and that was just the way Cody liked it. Rex had never minded if his men saw him goof off a little, though he did try not to act too much like an idiot in front of those who didn't know him well. He liked to think it made him more approachable.

Cody had more riding on him though. Rex was a Captain, Cody wasn't even just a Commander. He was a Marshal Commander, one of three. Bly, Bacara, and Cody; the buck stopped with them. Fox too, sort of. So yeah, Rex could understand why he was a little more careful about how he was perceived than Rex was. But he could also enjoy the times when his ori'vod got to let loose.

The rest of Torrent watched him go, expressions ranging between slightly stunned and highly amused. Ahsoka chewed her pen thoughtfully, then went back to her work as if nothing had happened. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan were engrossed in their work, both of them also acting as if nothing had happened. Fives looked overjoyed, Echo thoughtful. Dogma, Jesse and Hardcase all looked like they were having some kind of emotional crisis.

Tup was already engrossed in his game again, so Rex guessed he wasn’t too bothered by the whole thing.

He pushed himself up, leaning back on his palms and cocking his head at Sophi.

“Okay,” he said, “but you absolutely do tell Fox everything that happens to Cody, right?”

She snorted.

“Of course I do,” she said. “Do you have any idea how much candy and fancy food that man gets given by his senator friends? I know whose good books I'd rather be in.”

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Live music at Mixers this weekend

Live music at Mixers this weekend

Power trio Continental Shakedown will get you on the floor Friday, May 20, at Mixers Nightclub & Lounge in Sabattus. The band covers songs by Stevie Ray Vaughn, Eric Clapton, Cream, Jimi Hendrix, ZZ Top, Pink Floyd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Grateful Dead, Bad Co., The J. Geils Band, The Who, Dire Straits, and more. There is no cover charge and plenty of free parking. Mixers is located at 136 Sabattus…

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Live Broadcast Today: Plenty Poetry, Collective Nouns

Martha speaks with Rachel Barton, editor of Willawaw Journal, about the new fall issue, now available for the price of your time and attention at Willawawjournal.com. We will also hear contributing poets Cecil Morris, Erica Reid and Connie Soper, and a sp

The feature image is a close-up of Sam Siegel’s Misty Chief–36″ x 36″ oil on canvas from Issue #17 Willawaw Journal Willawaw Journal, A Business of Ferrets 3-5 PST: WPVMfm.org or 103.7 fm in Asheville, NC Please join Martha Cinader and Tony Robles, for the Listen & Be Heard Radio Show on WPVM. Today from 3-5pm Eastern Standard Time, in our first hour Martha speaks with Rachel Barton, editor of…

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Lil Bit of Spring in Southend

Lil Bit of Spring in Southend

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@espritferme || not-so-random starter. [sc]

He can't believe it.

Sure, he had been willing and expecting to get court marshalled for stealing the Normandy, but he couldn't live with himself not flying her at least once. And man, did she fly! It had been like a dream come true, and he fell in love instantly.

Of course, stealing the best ship in the Fleet didn't come without any costs. Anderson himself had said he'd be punished for it, which is why he's sitting waiting on the higher ups to decide exactly what to do about that.

But even then, his new assignment was clear: against all odds, he's been transferred to the Normandy as her pilot. Though he wonders if he would have got the posting if he hadn't impressed the turian general he'd brought in to watch the initial shakedown through the obstacle course.

What he also hadn't expected is to be put in what appears to be one of the officers' lounges, with far more comfortable seating than an interrogation room. That, really, made no sense, since he's not high enough in the ranks to even be in here normally, though he's pretty sure the brass has guards on the door to keep him in the room as well until whoever's coming arrives.

It's in that moment that the door opens and his brows raise high in surprise at the woman walking into the room. It's a bit of a struggle to get to his feet, bracing himself on his crutches with a somewhat precarious balance as he does his best to offer a salute.

"Captain Shepard," Joker greets her, a wary curiosity entering his gaze as he grips his crutches more securely to stay on his feet. "Here for the dressing down, or did you have a chance to see the show?"

POSITIVE SPINS: NEW ARTISTS, NEW ALBUMS, AND NEW LIVE STREAMS THAT PUT OUR 2020 ON A BETTER TRACK

2020 proved to be one of the hardest years we have collectively gone through.  While we didn’t have live music to lean on when times got tough, these are the albums, artists and livestreams that got us through the rough patches and will carry us into a brighter 2021.

Listen to our playlist of Positive Spins!

BEST NEW ARTISTS OF 2020 (in no particular order)

THICK

“Brooklyn-based pop-punk three-piece, THICK, are not afraid to say (or sing) what’s on everyone’s mind - with a fierceness and confidence I can only aspire to assume. Sticking it to the establishment is the name of their game - take “Mainsplain,” for instance - and they manage to do so with catchy chord progressions and an uplifting vigor. I can’t wait to see what’s next for the trio, and who else they’ll put in check.” - S. D.

Ela Minus

“Brooklyn-based techno-pop artist Ela Minus broke onto the scene this year with her debut album “ acts of rebellion.” The Colombian-born musician has a background in emo bands, is a trained jazz drummer, and she wrote, produced, engineered, and recorded the album on her own. “acts of rebellion” is moody and sultry, while still making you want to grab your friends and dance.” - K. C.

Arlo Parks

“Without even having released her debut album yet, Arlo Parks has made a name for herself this year. Singles released throughout the year, paired with 2019’s EP ‘Sophie’ and her slot as support on Hayley Williams’ (cancelled) tour have boosted Arlo to a new level this year, that we can only assume will continue to rise in 2021 when her debut album drops.” - K. C.

Beabadoobee

“Beabadoobee’s interesting name is only matched by her sound - bedroom-pop fused with nineties indie-rock, tinged with a tender, DIY aesthetic. Her track “If You Want To” will have you singing along, while her single “She Plays Bass” will take you back to your hormonal, vulnerable, teenage years met with sublime nostalgia. She’s without a doubt a silver lining in 2020.” - S. D.

BENEE

“I first saw Auckland’s BENEE at Rough Trade in October of last year - her sincere, to-the-point lyrics and quirky hooks instantly hooked me. You may know her track, “Supalonely,” which found popularity on TikTok during the height of lockdown, but BENEE’s sound isn’t limited to the confines of one social media trend. In her debut album released this year, BENEE displays an uncanny ability to tackle alt-rock, hip-hop and electro-pop all at the same time, in an unbothered, endearing way - making her a “one to watch” in 2020 and beyond.” - S. D.

Christian Lee Hutson

There isn’t a lack of acoustic singer-songwriters out there, but Christian Lee Hutson is an important new voice. Hutson first full length album, “Beginners,” released this year, has a warm and honest quality to it. The production is subtle (thanks to producer Phoebe Bridgers), and so perfectly complements a simple, acoustic narrative. The result is a soulful, beautiful, and special work of music. - S. D.

Do Nothing

“2020 newcomers out of Nottingham, UK, Do Nothing have already made a big splash in the post-punk world. Releasing their first EP, Zero Dollar Bill, earlier this year, the band have been compared to Idles and are setting out on a similar path of success. Upon first hearing their earlier single Lebron James, countless fans are sure to be sucked into the world of Do Nothing.” - K. C.

Kate Bollinger

“I first listened to Kate Bollinger when she released I Don’t Wanna Lose in 2019. I played the track Candy on repeat all year long. It has been so lovely to watch her grow into the artist she is today. This year she released an EP called A word becomes a sound, which quickly became one of my favorite releases of 2020. Her voice is so comforting. Whenever I listen, I feel like I am being coddled in a fluffy blanket with a cup of herbal tea and nothing could go wrong at that moment. I can’t wait to see what Kate has planned for 2021 and beyond!” - L. S.

SAULT

“After a year of intense racial unrest in the United States, SAULT’s importance is more significant now than ever.  With themes focusing around the Black Lives matter movement, this mystery soul-funk group has become more than buzzy in the music scene, and has earned a spot on tons of year end lists.” - K. C.

Sorry

“London-based genre-defying band Sorry released their debut album ‘925’ this year, produced by James Dring (Gorillaz, Jamie T) which is already reason enough to pique the interest of most. The album certainly does not disappoint, with each song giving you a different taste of the many interesting sides of this up-and-coming group.” - K. C.

Honorable Mentions:

Gracie Abrams Remi Wolf Hailey Whitters KennyHoopla Jade Hairpins Jockstrap Model/Actriz Mild Orange Your Smith Neal Francis

BEST NEW ALBUMS OF 2020 (in no particular order)

Fiona Apple – Fetch the Bolt Cutters

“Fiona Apple is fearless in this album. The song structures and sounds take you on a listening experience I can only describe as emotional in the best way. Eight years of waiting was totally worth it.“ - S. D.

Fleet Foxes – Shore

“This album had been bright spot in a difficult year. St. Ann’s Church was the perfect location for their Colbert performance of Can I Believe You and the live stream will be the perfect holiday present. Ready to feel all the feels!” - K. A.

Khruangbin - Mordechai

“Khruangbin is one of my go-to bands, and “Mordechai” has been heavy in my rotation in 2020. It’s really a great album – I play it cover-to-cover and pairs well with a cocktail and cooking at home, infusing some needed spice and energy in what could otherwise be ‘just another night’ during a long, monotonous several months.” - C.M.

Moses Sumney - Græ

“The highly anticipated second album from Moses Sumney, shows us more of the highly personal, raw and emotionally moving music we have some to expect from him. The cluster of emotions that Moses works through with his beautifully unique voice in this 20 song album give us a look into the complicated mind of one of the most interesting artists of the last 5 years.” - K. C.

Perfume Genius – Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

“*Bill Hader’s Stefan voice* this album has everything! From the heavy and distorted bass on “Describe” to the melodic harp stringing of “Leave,” to the dance ballad (is that a thing?) “On The Floor,” Perfume Genius’ album Set My Heart on Fire Immediately really does have it all. Each song feels vastly different from the next in tone, instrumentation, and influence – yet they all come together so perfectly to make this stunning album, all while showcasing his vocal depth and range. There’s a reason he’s called Perfume *Genius*, and that is because Mike Hadreas can take familiar feelings and turn them into unconventional pop ballads that feel both relatable, but new and exciting at the same time.” - R. E.

Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher  

“How does Phoebe do it? (a question I ask myself daily). I remember waking up on June 18 as if it was my birthday. Punisher is everything I hoped for and then some more. The last song on the album, “I know The End” concludes with a scream which is the perfect cherry on top to this masterpiece. This album is a rollercoaster of Phoebe’s emotions and I feel blessed to be along for the ride. It is relatable, heartfelt and honest. Thank you to Phoebe for this gift. The world will never be the same after this.” - L. S.

Rina Sawayama - SAWAYAMA

“SAWAYAMA is the early 2000s pop resurgence we didn’t know we needed, mixed with all the best parts of nu-metal. Rina Sawayama uses catchy pop hooks reminiscent of early Britney Spears, and pairs them with heavy guitar riffs to give us arguably the most fun album of 2020 that we cannot wait to experience live.” - K. C.

Tame Impala – The Slow Rush

Thundercat - It Is What It Is

“I love how this album embraces the darkness while managing to find the light in despair - it seems to acutely reflect the times we are in yet is simultaneously so personal to Bruner. The lyrics are set against a backdrop of funk, electronica, jazz, and soul, so there’s a little something for everybody.” - S. D.

Waxahatchee - Saint Cloud

“This album was released early in quarantine, and was the perfect musical escape during some of the toughest days. The imagery and reflection of the lyrics are why Saint Cloud tops my list of albums of 2020.” - J. F.

Honorable Mentions: The Beths – Jump Rope Gazers Fontaines DC - A Heros Dream Kevin Morby – Sundowner Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit – Reunions My Morning Jacket - The Waterfall II CHIKA - Industry Games Megan Thee Stallion - Suga Christian Lee Hutson- Beginners Idles- Ultra Mono Sturgill Simpson - Cuttin Grass Pup - This Place Sucks Ass Futurebirds- Teamwork Adrianne Lenker – Songs / Instrumentals Tom Misch, Yussef Dayes - What Kinda Music + the bonus tracks EP Some Kind Of Peace – Olafur Arnalds Tyler Bryant and the Shakedown - Pressure Josh Ritter - See Here, I Have Built You a Mansion Sahara Moon - Worthy Local H - Lifers Deep Purple - Whoosh! Indigo Girls Look Long Taylor Swift - folklore Against All Logic – 2017-2019

TOP TEN LIVESTREAMS 2020 (in no particular order)

Christine & The Queens (Live on KEXP at Home)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bavZe47um4

“Live on KEXP at Home” was home to some of my favorite quarantine livestreams, and this one did anything but disappoint. Not only does Chris, aka Christine & The Queens, perform, but interviews are woven throughout the livestream. The drama of her performances, juxtaposed with her witty and humorous banter with the interviewer was such a breath of fresh air. If you’re a fan of Chris, this is a must watch.“ - S. D.

Courtney Barnett and Lucius & Friends: Live From Our Lounge Rooms with Sheryl Crow, 3/25/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbfRbw3o1jU

“This was a gift that kept on giving. The stream started off with Courtney Barnett and Lucius in matching pajamas. I truly thought it could not get any better but I was in for a treat! The stream included performances by Nathaniel Rateliff, Sheryl Crow, Sharon Van Etten, Waxahatchee, Kevin Morby and more. I can safely say this was my favorite live stream I watched in 2020.” - L. S.

Julien Baker, Themfest Instagram Livestream, 4/16/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tINSbY4wRjs

“Recorded for Themfest during the early days of quarantine, Julien Baker’s in-home livestream was a welcome respite from the Cuomo briefings and general despair of mid April. Just kidding, Julien Baker is the queen of Sad Shit and I certainly didn’t tune into this livestream expecting a mood boost. But if you subscribe to the “sad songs make me feel better” aesthetic purveyed by our sweet little siren, this moody, intimate shot-on-iphone set will scratch that itch. But let’s not fool ourselves, nothing will ever replace the feeling of holding your breath along with 1,799 others at Brooklyn Steel while JB rips your heart out, in a nice way.” - E. M.

Kurt Vile, Love From Philly Livestream, 5/3/20 (covers John Prine’s “Sam Stone” near the end)  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjKG-7d5loY&feature=emb_logo - Jared

“Back in May, Kurt Vile took to his basement for a solo acoustic stream to benefit 30 Amp Circuit, a non-profit dedicated to support the health, wellness, and professional needs of Philadelphia-based musicians and artists. The intimate 3-song set rounded out with a special tribute to the late John Prine, as Kurt did his own rendition of “Sam Stone.”” - J. D.

Radiohead, In Rainbows - From The Basement, 6/4/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWqDIZxO-nU

“This is the one die hard Radiohead fans have been waiting for. This session originally from 2008 existed in some pretty esoteric places and has been almost impossible to find – until now.” - G. A.

Sturgill Simpson, Live at The Ryman Auditorium, 6/5/20  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO73im4J2sU

“2020 was supposed to be a banner year for Sturgill, until he got COVID-19 in April. He’s ok now, but something about this performance in the sacred church of country music The Ryman, hits different.” - G. A.

Haim - Women in Music PT. III Live Show, 6/25/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_eJU6X3_jQ

“I love pretty much everything the Haim sisters do - so much so that I aspire to be a sister myself. When I was feeling those very familiar mid-pandemic blues, their “Women in Music PT III” livestream, which celebrated their new album of the same name, was the exact pick me up that I needed. For the first time since March, the 30 minute set made me feel as if I was at an intimate gathering - rather than behind a computer watching a YouTube video along with thousands of others. The stream will have you grooving, laughing, and you may even want to be a Haim sister yourself.” - S. D.

Nilufer Yanya, Boiler Room: Streaming From Isolation with Night Dreamer & Worldwide FM, 6/28/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAaAicIJE7s

“Hauntingly beautiful and yet also somehow grounded, Nilufer Yanya’s June livestream was a special one to watch. It makes the case for how intimate an artist’s performance can be, even virtually.” - G. A.

Brittany Howard, Live From Ryman Auditorium, 10/17/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLH59WLQbZo

“Watching Brittany Howard and her incredible band rip through a set on the Ryman stage like no one and everyone was watching all at once was cathartic. The combination of such a singular artist and historic venue hit a similar nerve to seeing an artist you’re excited about play a show in the flesh with people you love – not an easy feat!” - M. L.

Tkay Maidza - Live on KEXP at Home, 11/3/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPJgrDvyRbw

“13 minutes and 11 seconds of pure energy. This livestream is the moment we’ve all been waiting for, and, in my opinion, showcases Maidza as the star that she is. A must-watch if you’re looking for a refreshing and colorful approach to hip-hop.“ - S. D.

WEST COAST TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT The “IT HURTS WHEN I TALK“ Tour ft. me & VALENTINE DATES: January 15th, Portland Oregon at Kelly’s Olympian with dontloveme. January 17th, Eugene Oregon at Spectrum with Car Talk. January 21st in Oakland California at Golden Bull, 27th in Long Beach at The Elinor, 28th in LA at The Silverlake Lounge with Quisol/Pritty XIII. 29th in Bakersfield at Jerry’s Pizza with Quisol. 31st in Santa Cruz at The Blue Lagoon with Quisol/Beautiful Moose. February 2nd in San Francisco at Honey Hive with Quisol. February 6th in Seattle, Washington at Chop Suey with move.by.u. 8th in Olympia at Octapas with Creature Hole/Mirror Gloss. 9th in Bellingham at The Shakedown with Guayaba. SEE YOU THEREEEEE https://www.instagram.com/p/B63fntNnxV3/?igshid=277xy6ptdrf1

@crossxskulled​ cont from here

☠ - There wasn’t a lick of hesitation in scrunching up his face at the suggestion. A bid of childishness, stubborn will and some unconscious need to keep crucial pains concealed immediately jolted within his chest. Wasn’t this becoming a bit of a constant between them? Too many instances where Futaba managed to find the small breaches and nooks that introduced her to instances of him that was never supposed to be seen. Shame born was multiple facets made an acrid fire that flared within his gut whenever she did. A mixture of a growl with a distressed breath seeped from him as all the idea of ‘Holding’ leads back to backbone of his life.

His past.

A time where tortured days paid with innocence in order to give rebirth with newly understood emotion. The blonde’s eyes briefly ease close while allowing his body to slump down the structure of the couch, only for his elbows to prop out, bouncing enough support from that rear in to draw himself into a slouched seated position. Thoughts stewed within his mind pulsing with hints of an ache made physical before those sharp eyes eased over to her, recognizable but plain pissed. “What if that’s the only damn thing that I can do Futaba?” Filtering out those words were an addictive breath, another dive into the pain that’s fresh compared to this spiritual stagnation.

Within this now quiet seating lounge at the arcade, few patrons were bouncing along, mostly staff that assisted with clean up and yet they remained far off from the vicinity that crawled with silent tension. Ryuji’s hands were balled out, some of his fingers tensed upon a closed fist in a need endure to contradiction feeling of spiritually bleeding, being refreshed by that fact yet holding a fear of being judged. “Holdin’ it, keepin’ it barred down, you ain’t no stranger to how.. Intense.” That sounds like a solid word for it. “I get when I get pissed off. Brings nothing but too much damn trouble.”

”Perfect parting gift from the fucker who wanted to make my life hell from start to finish.” There’s no need to make the mention as to who. This girl right here? She’s seen him at some pretty pathetic lows, moments he’s brought to tears from the presence of one certain individual, even breaching out of her own zones of comfort tend to that weakness that exists strong within his being. “You’ve heard the whole story by now. He always had this goddamn anger issue that bled through when he got drunk. Don’t cha see it Futaba? I’m that bastard’s son and it shows with the same damn thing.”

What makes his gut roll with distaste is how nice it feels all the same. A natural part of Ryuji embraces that in built side of his spirit in stride, to other points a need. Why in the hell was that the case though? “Cept I ain’t the one screwin’ my life to hell with bottles. ..And part of me think that’s worse, I already pushed a lotta people away cause of it.”

All it took was one flare of that emotion to end up with that old team of Track and Field he treasured to be ruined that day.

Amends to some degree might’ve been made, but that didn’t change that aspect of his father he constantly feels he’s staring right in the face. In his perception, holding in for this case feels like holding back.

“I’m tired of being terrified of this last damn trick he’s holding over me.”

Crosslegged beside him on the arcade couch, Futaba slouched, hands loosely gripped around one of her ankles as she watched his struggle. She was no stranger to this side of Ryuji, the keening of this raw-edged wound he kept hidden beneath bravado and punk spirit.  Though he was a prisoner to his own temper, it had never made her think any less of him. She knew how it felt to be crushed under the weight of ones' own history, ones' own cruel psyche.

"It's not the only thing you can do." Lips pursed and eyes hooded, the redhead was steady-voiced and unafraid. It had taken her by surprise the first time that Ryuji had snapped at her, but now she knew that they were both stronger than a petty fight. He could bark all he wanted, but she was no longer afraid that he might bite her. He may not believe it, but he was better than that.

"If you hold it in," she continued levelly, no longer looking at him but out at the arcade around them, armies of machines still making gleeful pinging noises and filling the air with merry jingles. "... You know where that road leads, don't you. Letting it control you." She knew only too well - a palace, a treasure, a distorted heart.  They may be the Phantom Thieves, but even they themselves weren't more than human. She'd be first in line to steal his heart and crush it beneath her boot.

Weren't they all just their parents' children at the end of the day? Gaze downcast, Futaba shook her head.

"You're not-, you're..." Yes, his temper had cost him a lot. Yes, she'd seen his destructive fury first hand, but only ever when the Thieves needed his fire the most - when they needed a shakedown, a breakdown, a breakthrough.  What came before was in the past - what mattered now was how he chose to handle it from here. "I've never seen you use it for anything but good."