I'd make a list of Holmes things that are sexy but I'm biased so I'd list Everything 🙉

for example his assbelts, I know its for his corset, but really why does he need those? To push up his ass? It just adds a more erotic element to his entire figure. Something about harnesses and belts just makes everything better. Also his corset looks cylindrical but if you look closely it actually emphasises his hips nicely. Hot.

About his hair, slicked back hair is extremely hot, it gives a serious cool kind of vibe, but Holmes also has some loose hair, and that just adds to the appeal! It gives character! his forehead is defenseless from kisses, but also the appeal of parting bangs! Best of both worlds!

ALSO WHEN IT IS NEATLY COMBED BACK ITS EVEN MORE IMPACTFUL AND SEXY WHEN ITS DISHEVELED, like in LB2 and when he was [REDACTED], his hair was disheveled in a way that shows vulnerability, and if you're vulnerable in bed then???👁👁👁

About his voice. Holy fuck. Its the one thing I can reliably expect even non-Holmes fans to talk about, its so breathy and quiet, like he's always talking into a mic on an ASMR stream. You can get him to say a tonguetwister and he'll somehow make it sound like foreplay. And I'm glad the VA recorded more lines for his Arcade debut.

SPEAKING OF ARCADE, I love his model because it confirms two things

1. He's like 70% leg

2. Holy fuck that waist to hip ratio. Those are hips meant to be held in a vice-like grip

ALSO THE FACE IS SO NICE ON ARCADE UAGAGHH

HIS FACE IN GENERAL BTW, his face is so goddamn pretty, Cotetsu-sensei is really good at making him so handsome, some servants have fanart that is better than the base artwork, but for Holmes its not the case! Moriarty was right when he called him a "devastatingly handsome young man"

Do I even need to talk about his hands or the potential feet reveal.

....

Holmes has a very subtle blush ingame but I want to imagine his ears would go red if you really manage to fluster him, you can't just hide that if you have such pale skin!!! Uwahh holmes with a really blushy face would be cute...

AND I KNOW he has an ass only marginally less tragic than Diarmuid's but his tits, guys. The tits. They're well defined enough to show through the shirt and vest so let me be delusional and imagine him having a pretty nice chest.

Leaving aside sexy things, THE MAGNIFYING GLASS SPIDER ARMS ARE SO COOL!! They're one of holmes' biggest differences from book canon lmao, and what a way to diverge from that! I love that they kinda look like there's violin strings on there, very mechanical

Holmes' sentient (canon) ball friend is adorable too, and the fact that he rides on the thing like a really scuffed racecar, it is so cute.

His coat is funny because its like supposed to make his silhouette bigger and mysterious, but also it is also so easy access, especially third asc. You can part the coat tails and grab his ass whenever you want. And his coats are by his own choice too! What did he mean by this? Did he want to look cool or want to make himself easily accessible, what is it? 🤔

ANYWAY my insane rambling aside, holmes is erotic and you should sexualise him.

Moralising and sexualising adolescence!

Adolescence is a very critical time in one’s life as they grow and mature. It is also the same time that so many young people get to taste the waters of sex and sexual freedom. I don’t know about you but I live in a country where we are sexualizing and moralizing the children here. What do I mean?   Photo credit: Spectrum News   When I say that we are “sexualising” children, I mean it…

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me, whenever someone asks what I like to do for fun

a little thought experiment:

it can be argued that both aziraphale and crowley present two types of queer "masculinity" on the show, so i wanted to see how it can translate to queer "femininity" while maintaining their core character.

aziraphale: -kept the prim and proper vintage look -bowtie>suspenders -gay energy>butch energy -looks vaguely based on Kaz Rowe (check them out on YT! a wonderful queer historian) crowley: -kept the edgy dark look with snake accents -skintight outfits, with a mix of feminine cuts thrown in > a boxy wide suit with figure-hugging turtleneck and vest -looks wise think Cate Blanchett & Esther Quek

disclaimer gender is a made up thing but also a very real thing so trying to tightrope the line between those two facts isn't easy in a couple of dozen words.

people who see cute coquette / nymphette posts and say that the women are romanticising pedophilia are so annoying

It's so ironic and sad at the same time that they put her quote right over two pictures where the camera focuses on the breasts, not her face.

Yes, New York Post, you are the fucking reason girls feel like once they develop breasts, their humanity is fucking gone. she says it and you prove it in the same fucking tweet

Relaxing after a long day of being a silly little guy

I’ve been having some Thoughts™️ about the weird meta paradox of gerri kellman’s sexuality. as basically The Older Woman on the executive floor she’s trying as much as is possible to blend in with her male colleagues while also not being perceived to be doing so. muted colours and understated makeup. a competent filing cabinet. her husband is dead and her daughters are nameless. she was sexual once but that’s out of sight out of mind and now it’s just the work. it must be a relief in some ways to become finally unfuckable because you’re over 40. she can finally be taken seriously, but only if she toes the line between being too female and not female enough. trying but not too hard. desirable in the past tense only. an honorary man but still in a skirt. and while the men around her can fuck their much younger assistants and get sports massages and run a sex trafficking ring on a cruise ship, she is the job and only the job and that keeps her safe. for a bit anyway.

the irony of gerri saving the company from the full legal extent of a sex scandal by dating someone from the DOJ??? like i’ll never be over it. even filing cabinets have to flatter and please and fuck when called upon. i genuinely don’t believe any of the other execs could have swung it because they’re not women. she dated laurie (generally unseen unless framed from another man’s possessive perspective) to save the men from going to jail for covering up rape allegations. the irony is delicious. and even though she did that, she’s discarded once she’s framed sexually. Dick Pic Gate was out of her control and yet when confronted with any element of gerri’s sexuality (even her PASSIVE sexuality, even after using it to save his company), logan dismisses her as weak or impractical or failing or whatever other excuse he uses to justify his disgust.

i would argue that roman’s interest in gerri is not in spite of but BECAUSE of her asexual framing. it’s a challenge that he’s never going to win which is ideal for his impotency issues; he can push and push and get the thrill out of it, out of the fucked up power dynamic, but he knows he’ll never have to actually fuck her. it’s all hypothetical: down a phone, through a door, half-joking, covered in sensible skirt suits. gerri’s deliberate lack of sexualizing is counterintuitively a turn-on for roman. and i bet the game of chicken they play is freeing for her too because the fact that she has to be professional and cannot be sensual is part of the fun of it. “roman is weird about gerri”. “it’s fucking disgusting”. not because of their family history, or their professional positions, but because she’s old. because the absence of her sexuality is enough of a presence to be off-putting. shiv patronising her about it as a power play is so weird because she’s talking to her simultaneously like a child and like an old woman, and gerri, agency-less, just has to keep reassuring her “i can cope”.

BUT it’s worse than that because it’s so meta. Because gerri is hot. her actor is attractive and like roman, many people watching find her sexless, no-nonsense framing to be titillating. me included. what if roman likes gerri not because of oedipal issues but just because she’s hot and god forbid we find a woman over 50 hot? but whether or not gerri is hot in the context of the show shouldn’t be a big deal, she should have been able to escape this by now!!! she’s in her 60s she’s a widow she’s tired stop sexualizing her!!! but don’t NOT sexualize her either because that’s problematic too and old women can be hot and old women shouldn’t have to be hot and suddenly i’m making gerri do what waystar does and exist as something sexual and non-sexual at the same time. she has a huge plotline in which she’s essentially a sex object. whether or not gerri is fuckable is talked about as much in the show with mildly-disgusted fascination as it is in the real world!!! she can’t win she’s hot she’s old she’s sexually framed she’s deliberately trying not to be she wants sex she doesn’t want sex she’s covering sex with sex and she’s telling roman to leave her alone so she can just do her damn job because she knows that this is what will bring her down!!! sex scandals historically don’t get men fired but an unsolicited dick pic knocks gerri off her podium in logan’s head forever. even now i’m talking about it at such length because i’ve given it so much thought!!! she’s the only woman in the old guard and she’s one of the most sexualized characters in succession. but only as a joke. in the abstract. never actually. because that would be weird. right?

the bg3 brainrot is real and so the Miguel one, sexy vampire spawn in that mermaid outfit (full images on Patreon, nsfw alert for the second one!)

There's really something hot in being someone's porn but not even knowing about it

Being the chubby regular at a cafe who the barista gets off to imagining you fatter, the person with swaying hips someone sees every day on their way to work and fantasizes about how it would feel to sink their fingers into all that softness, the guy at the office who popped a button on his shirt after lunch last week and his coworker who hasn't stopped jerking off about it since... 🥵

Don't sexualise Kim Kitsuragi. If his polygons arouse you, close your eyes. If your pussy is wet, wipe it dry. If your dick hard, soften it. Don't treat him as a grown ass gay man, keep things professional. He doesn't understand anything. Never watched porn, never jerked off, his 3D model doesn't even have genitals.

astarion, the man who was dying and offered eternal life, but had no idea that it meant becoming a slave to a sadistic master.

astarion, the man who had his freedom and bodily autonomy ripped away from him.

astarion, the man who was forced to befriend, seduce and sleep with people to lure them back to his master, resulting in severe sexual trauma and the struggle to form any sort of intimate relationship.

astarion, the man who was horribly punished whenever he refused his master’s orders (one punishment being sealed away in a dusty tomb, starving, for an entire year. he scratched his hands raw trying to carve his way out).

astarion, the man who was forced to eat rats.

astarion, the man who hasn’t even been able to see his own face since he turned.

astarion, the man who had his body mutilated as cazador carved scars onto his back, which he later found out was to bind him to a ritual.

astarion, the man who is so severely traumatised that he admitted he doesn’t know how to say “no” or ask for help (and he feels guilty when he does).

astarion, the man who waited two centuries to be helped and freed from torture, but no one came.

astarion, the man who was always treated like a monster when all he wanted was to be treated like a person.

astarion, the man who came up to you in the middle of the night just to thank you for defending him and allowing him to make his own decisions.

astarion, the man who said that no one ever looked out for him or showed him kindness, and that you’re the only one. “other people don’t have a heart like you. you’re you. no one is like that.”

astarion, the man who broke the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago thanks to the love, care and compassion that you showed him when no one else did.

astarion, the man who confessed that he loves you and feels safe with you; something he has never felt with anyone before.

"entirety of dirkjake fandom" my ass. i'm not into the stupid cannibalism kink. it's valid to have a kink but please stop proselytizing it onto literally everyone who ships dirkjake. ugh

my condolences for your inability to engage in fun activities. how far did you have to dig into a dictionary for that fancy word bro.

dick grayson who needs to be useful and needed to feel loved vs reader who is hypervigilant of their own fault and tries desperately not to be a burden: fight

it ends in tears. unstoppable force versus immovable object. you don't want to make his life any harder because you can see he's struggling. he's just straight up begging. i said in last post tags he'd moan if you ask him to get you a glass of water. ask him to make you a snack and he'll just straight up come in his pants.

🗡️🍃 through the tall grass

(plus some close ups and a version with a cool ibis paint filter <3 !!)

do you know any shrimp scientists? if yes can you ask them why thor amboinensis are apparently referred to as sexy shrimp. because what

I looked into this, and it turns out the answer is basically that these shrimp sway sexily (?) whilst they walk or feed. You be the judge.