Sephiroth, but he's British

Sephiroth giving one of his signature malicious Sephiroth monologues but absolutely no one can understand what he's saying.

Can you imagine the internal struggle Sephiroth goes through when he sees a capcha?

I can imagine he does not have a good time.

Aromantic and Asexual Flags edited with colors picked from Sephiroth Crescent.

I made these because I headcanon that he's aroace. I just get the feeling that he wouldn't be all that interested in romance or sexuality.

The firsts but everyone gets a haircut

Sephiroth looks like Miniroth again! A very tall, very bulky Miniroth. His intimidation factor went down by a few points now that he looks wide-eyed and boyish again. But at least he finally looks his actual age. He doesn't particularly enjoy the fact that his beautiful hair is gone, but he knows it will probably grow back to full length within the span of a few days.

Genesis is YOWLING, freaking out. The NERVE of this! The SCANDAL! His beautiful ginger locks--shorn like a sheep! Now his dazzling good looks are operating at 90% capacity instead of 100%! You'll be hearing from his lawyer, no doubt. It's all well and good for freaks of nature like Sephiroth whose hair will grow back as quickly as he wills it. Genesis doesn't have that luxury! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE HIM THIS WAY?! WHY MUST--oh look. An alternative. And now Genesis is wearing the brightest, flashiest, most obnoxious hats in existence around the office so that everyone pays attention to him again.

Angeal...surprisingly looks kind of dashing? All at once the least popular member of the trio is turning a LOT of heads. No one's sure if it's because Sephiroth and Genesis got nerfed or if it's because Angeal just cleans up really well. Maybe both. Either way, a solid W for Angeal! He'd keep his hair short like this all the time but he has more important things to worry about within SOLDIER. And, admittedly, his mom liked his hair when it was its usual longer length. He's missing out. But it's on his terms. At least for now people appreciate him.

still thinking of sane!seph in a universe threatened by Meteor/insanemultiverse!Seph and the funny part is that if he’s also an astronomy nerd then he just goes outside and is just like fuck is this then?

Sephiroth: "NGL this is kinda fucked but lemme get the telescope out and --"

Genesis: "BUNKER!!! NOW!!!!"

How did Sephiroth get those long pretty eyelashes 😍

You can thank his mother Lucrecia and her INCREDIBLY OVERPOWERING wonder-genetics. Lucrecia's genes are apparently buff AS FUCK and managed to roundhouse kick Hojo's nasty features far away from her son.

So now Sephiroth is pretty. When he isn't worrying about the state of his identity or humanity, he might momentarily express some level of self-aware satisfaction from it.

Sephiroth is given regressive hypnotherapy to help get over his issues

It actually makes things way worse. Because now Sephiroth is having violent flashbacks, confused and disoriented, asking over and over if he can please be put back into his cell. He doesn't want to engage, terrified of being touched or ordered to do something that provokes pain. No matter how many times he's assured this is a safe place, he's completely terrified out of his wits, all his calm composure suddenly melting away. He asks where Gast is. When can this stop? Can it stop if he's good? Where's his cell?

where's his mommy

Genesis and Angeal (who were admittedly listening outside regardless of doctor-patient confidentiality) barge in and immediately snap him out of it. Sephiroth doesn't seem terribly fazed afterwards, back to being cool-headed and stoic again, seemingly unaffected. But Angeal and Genesis make sure to escort him out of there themselves, blaming lackluster Shinra care for doing something so risky without taking the necessary baby steps. They don't completely understand the distressing things Sephiroth was referring to. But they know it's not good and it only reopened some old wounds.

The firsts wake up one morning and discover they've been transformed into cats.

Genesis: LOUD. MEOWING. Constantly. Aggressively rubbing against everyone's leg DEMANDING attention, on top of assistance to help get him out of this predicament. INFINITE IN MEOWSTORY IS THE GIFT OF HIS CLAWS IN YOUR FACE.

Angeal: Gets cornered by the Thirds and is given cushions and pretty pink bows to wear while he waits out his condition. Angeal is kind of a heckin' chonker of a cat. So much so that everyone is giggling taking silly pictures of his adorably round, flawless physique.

Sephiroth: Honestly? Not much has changed tbh.

how long can sephiroth and genesis go without fighting?

Sparring? A long time if it's because of a mission or because there's more important things to focus on.

Actually physically fighting? Probably a few days. It's all part of the game for them. There are some days where they openly adore each other and are extremely friendly and supportive, only to throw hands several days afterwards over something miniscule. It's half-hearted on both sides--they enjoy it. It's mostly for show. And both makes sure they never actually hurt the other party. MOST of the time, at least.

Petty squabbling? Impossible. They would not last the hour. It's another one of their shared love languages. Sephiroth and Genesis love arguing with each other, even over the most mundane things. Everything is fair game. Anything to get a snarky jab in. Bonus points if it evolves into a full fledged open debate with them screaming at each other. Which eventually evolves into them backhandedly complimenting each other on accident and then getting mutually flustered over it. See? They love it.

Angeal is begging for you to please adopt them. They are housebroken, hypoallergenic, and (mostly) leash-trained.

OKAY SO…

We’ve already had Sephiroth if he’s a Brit, right?

So what if he was an Australian.

No amount of terror Sephiroth instills into the populace will ever come close to the sheer irrational horror and awe that Australian wildlife inspires.

Also Sephiroth impaling Cloud is called "Tossin' him on the barbie" lmao

Since we got the others, how does Zack react to love letters? anonymous or from a spouse ur choice X3

Zack way over-hypes himself. Since he's CLEARLY such a massive BABE MAGNET, this basically counts as an invitation to a date. He sits around all dressed up in the lobby, grinning like an idiot waiting for his secret admirer to show up.

How old were Angeal and Genesis when they signed up for the war? Do the things they've witnessed/committed in it affect them still, or are they numb to it?

Angeal and Genesis are around 15-16 at the time. The Sephiroth-inspired propaganda was in full force with Sephiroth's official entering into the war, spurring Genesis forward to follow after his personal hero and to rise up the ranks. Angeal went with him, both to be with Genesis and because the pay would be enough for his family to live off of. Both had been nudged and groomed to join SOLDIER all their lives, but Genesis made the active decision out of pure fanboy love for Sephiroth.

As for the things they've witnessed, Genesis is seemingly very numb to it. Getting to finally meet Sephiroth was enough of a distraction and his ambition and determination keep him on his toes. He doesn't really feel the effects until he's completely alone and forced to confront negative emotions via nightmares and bad late-night thoughts.

Angeal...well, Angeal's pretty aware of what's going on. He's trying his best to reframe his actions and convictions in a way that feels honorable. But it does get to him. And unlike Genesis, he does bring it up when he can. Unfortunately, neither Genesis or Sephiroth are willing to talk about it.

Starting at 0:53

"He was made into a monster not of his own choice. And it was the realization that he essentially had no path but to become a monster that broke him."

Bruh Matt Mercer GETS Sephiroth.

Also these are really neat. You can tell just how much the cast cares about these characters. Genuinely wholesome.

At what moment during his life was Sephiroth the most afraid of Hojo?

That would be his very early years, post-Gast but pre First Soldier. Sephiroth was absolutely terrified of Hojo's punishments and often erratic behavior. Hojo could be cruel, sadistic--inflicting great and terrible pain onto Sephiroth under the guise of "tests" or "procedures". Sephiroth learned very quickly that survival meant kill or be killed, fighting with all his might just to keep alive, to impress Hojo with his talents.

What made Sephiroth all the more frightened of Hojo was that this was during a period where Sephiroth still felt a sense of open love and trust towards the scientist. It was instinctual--Hojo was his caretaker. Sephiroth wanted his praise and affection. To be punished by Hojo was the ultimate disgrace, a true reminder of Sephiroth's lonely place in the world, weak and inadequate. Sephiroth feared Hojo because he loved him. He wanted his approval. He wanted his adoration and recognition.

And even as an adult, Sephiroth is surprised and disgusted to find that the feelings still somewhat linger there, deep inside of him. They will never truly go away, no matter how much he hates the scientist now.

Imagine a hypothetical scenario where Sephiroth finds an old video tape while on a mission where he takes shelter at the Icicle Inn. The tape is of Gast is talking about the Jenova Project and Hojo’s plans to take over R&D now that “Sephiroth” is born.

Gast is worried in the video about how Hojo might treat his son once he has full command of the department.

Sephiroth can’t run from the truth anymore. Gast is speaking it loud and clear.

Hojo is, and always has been Sephiroth’s father. The father Sephiroth wanted abandoned him to the mercy of a cruel biological curse.

The sense of violation is ten times worse than the rage Sephiroth felt at Nibelheim. This isn't just a violation--this is an atrocity. And now Sephiroth is filled with more hate and rage than he can ever express in action, in feelings.

He LOVED this man. Trusted this man. Would have given everything for him. And Gast abandoned him. Replaced him with a BETTER child, one that fulfilled Shinra's coveted prophecy for the Promised Land. Gast no longer needed Sephiroth. No longer cared.

No. Gast never cared to begin with. Gast was at the center of it all. Gast STARTED the project. It was his idea. His glorious experiment. He never loved Sephiroth. He was the same as everyone else. USING him. MANIPULATING him. He left him with Hojo. He left him. With HOJO. He knew what would happen. And he still left.

Sephiroth is quaking in place, eyes rolling, teeth grinding together so hard that it hurts. He hates Gast far more than he ever hated Hojo. He never should have come into this world, into existence. He never should have breathed his first breath. Sephiroth is fully intent on dying now, fully intent on wiping himself from existence, surrendering to peaceful oblivion. But not before revenge. Shinra will burn. And then the rest of the world with it. An end to everything, to every human, to every lie.

And above all, an end to Gast's legacy.

No bc I would pay so much money to watch an intense Sephibrit vs Cait Sith vs Cid argument

Cid says "y'all'r'n't" at one point and Cait explodes /nsrs

Cloud saves the world by trapping all of them in a very large jar and letting them talk themselves to death.