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seabirdtxt · 7 months

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.Irminsul --amend -m 'Scaramouche'

Nahida has called in the book club to try and start discussions about the Creator's situation. Cyno actually kinda knows what he's talking about and Alhaitham is... mostly there for moral support... [< prev] [Blog Tag] [next >]

Notes: SAGAU, reader is the Creator but no cult shenanigans. Separate warning for my writing being all over the place on this one. all relationships are currently platonic!

WC. 2.6k

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There’s not much to do except wait for Alhaitham and Cyno to show up, unfortunately, so you have taken to chatting with Nahida and Aranyani about some of the games and toys that exist back on Earth. Aranyani seems to be interested in the mechanics of each, comparing them to existing games in Teyvat, while Nahida is more interested in trying them out for herself, someday.

Scaramouche doesn’t seem interested in the conversation, but he sits with the three of you anyway and watches the shadows of birds moving beyond the stained glass windows.

You’d just been explaining the concept of the rubix cube and algorithms to the two gods when a sure knock is heard on the sanctuary doors. Scaramouche takes the opportunity to make his escape from the conversation, shuffling to the door and opening it for the newcomers.

Cyno steps in, followed by Alhaitham, and the two of them hold each other at a polite distance as they walk down toward the dais, where the rest of you stand to greet them.

“Hello, my friends!” Nahida exclaims, smiling brightly and clasping her hands together even as she and Aranyani take a gracious step back to allow you and the newcomers space. “Thank you so much for being here! We have a lot to discuss!”

“We came as soon as we heard,” Cyno replies, nodding. He then turns to you with a little salute. “Your Grace, it is an honor to be in your presence.”

You put your hands up placatingly. “Please, there’s no need for formality…” you say, shuffling awkwardly on the spot as everyone looks at you. You clear your throat and gesture for the newcomers to continue.

“We heard about the circumstances after your arrival in Teyvat,” Alhaitham states, stepping around Cyno, stopping at his side and crossing his arms. Straight to the point. “Do you remember the circumstances that led up to your descent? It might help point toward the root cause, and shed light on the ‘how’s and ‘why’s.”

“Uh, good question,” you mutter, scratching your head about it for a second. “I was probably hanging out in my room or something, really. Playing, uh, games on my phone.”

You wonder if it’s too early to mention that said game was Genshin, AKA. controlling their world. You know they’re marginally self-aware, but the extent of which still escapes you.

“Alright, and did you do anything different while you were playing on this ‘phone’? See anything strange?” Cyno picks up, pulling out a small notepad and quill. “Anything out of the ordinary, things that you don’t normally do or notice.”

“Well, my phone has been glitching a lot when I play games, lately,” you muse. “And I kept getting these buggy screens while I was in-game, but I figured that was just because my device was overheating or something. You know, they build them faulty on purpose so they can sell you a new one every few years? Apparently in France or something they made companies give people the right to repair their own phones, but we don’t have that where I live…”

Cyno writes down most of the first half of what you say, but you seem to lose the crowd as you ramble. He looks up from his notepad to fix you with a level stare, though you can tell there's just a hint of confusion behind his expression.

“Can you say something that makes sense to people who live in this world?” Scaramouche interjects somewhere in the middle of your rambling, the first time he spoke since you guys first teleported to the Sanctuary of Surasthana. “Or at least stay on topic, or something.”

“Oh,” you reply, blinking. “Right.”

Cyno nods to you again, though he keeps glancing at Scaramouche out of the corner of his eye. Alhaitham doesn’t bother with subtlety, fixing the Balladeer with a level, analytical stare. Cyno clears his throat after a few seconds of awkward silence, preparing his notepad once more. “So, you were saying you played on this ‘phone’ device, aside from the problem you noticed, was there anything else you did differently?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “I was playing the game like I normally would, doing commissions and stuff. No, wait, actually I did do something a bit weird.”

This causes Cyno to perk up, and he leans forward onto the balls of his feet as he listens attentively.

“Because the game was overheating my phone, my ping was super slow,” you explain. “So I was lagging pretty badly. I was doing one of the leylines in the jungle and I was spamming the interact button on the flower because I was getting impatient…”

“And then?”

“... And then I think another dialogue box popped up, but I didn’t notice what it said.” You finish, sighing. “After that, I just remember waking up beside a leyline thingy right here in Teyvat.”

“Do you remember the exact location of the leyline?” Alhaitham asks, to which you shake your head.

“The Traveler and Wanderer found me not too long after that, and took me straight to the city. They probably have a better idea than I do, honestly. I didn’t really have a chance to figure out where I was, at the time…”

“Do you recall any distinctive landmarks? Anything that stood out in an otherwise unremarkable location?”

You shake your head again, trying to remember what you saw. “No, uh, I was a little bit distracted by discovering I was suddenly in- uh, in Teyvat, and-”

“So you were not already aware of your location when you descended?” Cyno clarifies. You nod quickly.

“I only figured out it was Sumeru when the Traveler started bringing me closer to the city,” you agree, wringing your hands nervously under the general’s gaze. “The few little houses and tents that started popping up, the architecture kinda gave it away…”

“Were there any inconsistencies you noticed between your knowledge of Teyvat and the actual Teyvat when you arrived?” Cyno asks, his head tilted to the side ever so slightly. “Just to make sure you’re in the correct version.”

“Well, funny you should mention that,” you figure it wouldn’t hurt to share this, given the result of it sitting right next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, Nahida is giving you a thumbs up. “I got hurt touching a leyline, not the same one as when I first got here, though! I got a little cut on my hand, because the leaves are a bit sharper than I was expecting…”

Alhaitham’s attention shifts from the Balladeer back to you. “What happened when you were injured?”

“I, uh, I accidentally made Irminsul recover some deleted information.” You simplify as best as you can. “And now there’s several things that were added back to the world that aren’t technically supposed to be here...”

“I’ve never heard of leylines doing that, before,” Cyno remarks. “Then again, it’s not every day the Creator descends to Teyvat.”

“Have you tried going back to the same location to see if it yields reverse results?” Alhaitham wonders aloud, seeming amused by the strange predicament.

“And what is that supposed to achieve?” Scaramouche interrupts again, snorting as he crosses his arms. “Besides going for a leisurely stroll through the jungle, I mean. Irminsul already recovered the missing data, and the location itself doesn’t matter, if you haven’t noticed already, since you can find a leyline just about anywhere.”

“It’s certainly an unprecedented behavior for leylines,” Cyno agrees. “But again, the Creator has never descended before-”

“We heard you the first time,” Scaramouche deadpans, earning him a smack upside the head courtesy of you. “Ow! Do you want to figure this stuff out or not?”

“Be nice,” you grumble, though you do feel slightly annoyed at the repetitive line of questioning. “He’s just ruling things out, right?” You turn to Cyno, nodding encouragingly for him to continue.

“Ley lines are a complicated but fascinating subject to study,” Cyno states, crossing his arms and tucking his notebook under one elbow. “However, I’m afraid interdimensional travel is a little bit outside Spantamad’s realm of expertise.”

“Honestly, that’s fair,” you give a resigned sigh, but Scaramouche cuts you off.

“But how’s that supposed to help you?” He sneers and rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “It’s like you want to be stuck here forever with no explanation for how you got here in the first place.”

“Can we just chalk it up to magic or something?” You ask sheepishly, a little embarrassed at having taken the time out of two of Sumeru’s most important figures’ days.

“I was looking forward to hearing about how you got into this predicament with your own two idiot hands, honestly.”

“What I want to know,” Alhaitham suddenly interjects, surprising everyone else with his initiative. “Is how the Creator and the Dendro archon are here, cozying up to a Fatui harbinger?”

Four pairs of eyes blink at him in surprise, while Cyno nods in agreement.

“I think that’s the more pressing matter, here,” he agrees, and you can sense the tingle of static in the air as his previously-relaxed grip on his notebook starts to tighten.

“Okay, see, that’s one of the things I was talking about!” You say quickly, the words leaving you in a rush in hopes of stemming the building tension in the sanctuary. “He was a harbinger before, but he’s all better now!”

“You say that like it was an illness,” Scaramouche snorts, to which you can only laugh.

“Yeah? As if you didn’t act a little bit sick in the hea-”

Nahida, who up until now has been doing an excellent job of pretending to mind her own business, decides to chime in before the general can come to his own conclusion.

“I apologize for not warning you two earlier, but I do have it on good authority—that authority being myself,” she hides her giggle with the palm of her hand, “that the Balladeer poses no harm to either of you, or the Creator!”

“It’s also kinda my fault that he’s here, so I mean…” You trail off and give an apologetic shrug.

“How did you know I was a harbinger?” Scaramouche’s eyes narrow at Alhaitham and he crosses his arms as well, mirroring both the scribe and Cyno. “As far as I've been told, the memory of ‘me’ was erased from Irminsul.”

Cyno shakes his head. “No, there is recorded evidence of the Balladeer’s involvement with the sages’ god-creation plan,” he corrects, relaxing very slightly after Nahida’s reassurance but not dropping his guard completely.

“I was present at the time of the Traveler’s investigation of the Joruri workshop, where they confronted the mechanical false god,” Alhaitham adds. “The person who fell from the machine indeed bears striking resemblance to you, but was confirmed to not be the Balladeer himself. However, Lord Kusanali’s own interjection confirms that you are indeed the Balladeer.”

“He’s been reformed,” you say cheerfully, but your mind is running a mile a minute. Evidently Nahida and Aranyani are on the same page, because the two goddesses drift closer with curious looks on their faces.

“So Irminsul has already started patching the holes in Teyvat’s history,” Nahida muses, hands on her hips. “It’s much faster than I anticipated, given the circumstances.”

“Not as surprising as you would think, little sprout,” Aranyani pats her head. “Irminsul is capable of very rapid computation, but the problem lies in resolving as many conflicting histories as possible. Two is faster, but three will cause some things to be shuffled around for a few days, still. The justification of the existence of multiple incarnations of the Balladeer may yet be subject to change.”

“So you’re saying that what we currently perceive as fact, is instead false?” Cyno asks, having retrieved his notebook once more. As the goddesses continue to muse on the subject, he writes down their theories and makes some notes of his own.

“I’d say sorry for that workshop fight,” Scaramouche says, addressing Alhaitham with a smug grin. “But I honestly didn’t even remember you being there. I guess you just weren’t that noteworthy to me at the time. No hard feelings, right?”

Alhaitham doesn’t even bother to grace him with a look, much to Scaramouche’s annoyance. Instead, the scribe quietly listens in on the Irminsul discussion.

Meanwhile, you try to remember what team you had when you took on the Archon quest fight. It’s been a while since then, and you’re not sure if you’re thinking of the right fight. Maybe you used Alhaitham in one of your weeklies? Speaking of which, do those boss fights exist in the world of Teyvat, or is that just for you as a player of the game? If they exist, how do the characters feel having to go beat up the same people on a weekly basis? What about the characters who are weekly bosses, like Wanderer, Childe, and Ei?

Thinking about it is starting to give you a headache.

You decide to tune back in as Nahida and Aranyani finish bouncing ideas between themselves, with Cyno furiously scribbling annotations in the margins of his notepad. What was it they were talking about again? You get the sense that maybe you should've paid a bit more attention.

“- that’s the case, then we should contact Inazuma and see if there is a new history that came up.” Cyno offers, to which Nahida shakes her head.

“If we ask directly, the answer we will get is the same.” She explains, wringing her tiny hands. “To them, this knowledge will have always existed. They will perceive it as an unchanged fact, in the same way you and the Scribe believe the circumstances of the Balladeer to be a fact. The better people to ask would be the ones involved in the anomaly.”

“Alright, and how do we find them?”

“See, that’s the funny part…” You begin, only to be interrupted by a sudden swirling pressure in the chamber.

It’s strange to see the teleportation from an outside perspective. You watch as Wanderer shimmers into existence, adjusting his hat. The metal charms on the ends of it chime as they settle. He looks up, catching sight of you first and raises a hand to wave, only to stop short when he sees the other guests.

“... Looks like I’m late to the party,” he remarks, drifting over to Nahida’s side. “Wanna catch me up to speed? Not that I care, but I might as well get the full picture so I can correct you where you're wrong.”

“I asked for the General and the Scribe to come visit so that we could get a better grasp on the Creator’s situation!” Nahida explains, smiling brightly at him.

“Great, and how did that go?”

Everybody chooses to look in different directions, unable to look Wanderer in the eye. You hear him heave an annoyed, but resigned, sigh.

“We might’ve gotten somewhere if Buer hadn’t sidetracked,” Scaramouche adds helpfully.

“And you might’ve gotten the groceries like you guys said you would, too, but here we are,” Wanderer crosses his arms, pinning you and Scaramouche with a pointed look.

You wince and turn around, subtly leaning over to Scara, whispering: “I actually forgot about that…”

“Me too…” he replies, not quite as quietly as you. You both startle as hands come down on both of your shoulders, Wanderer’s grinning face appearing between the two of you.

“Isn’t this just a splendid opportunity for you two to go find the traveler and restock our pantry, while Buer and I go over the details of what you clowns didn’t explain right?”

Scaramouche wastes no time wresting his shoulder out of Wanderer’s grasp with a noise of disgust. “Who do you think you are to order me around, teacher’s pet? I’ll go when I feel like it.” He sneers, stalking off toward the doors of the sanctuary.

You offer a light chuckle and a wry grin of apology to the others, who watch unimpressed at Scaramouche’s display, while Wanderer dismisses you with a shooing motion.

Right. Time to get those supplies.

#genshin sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware au #genshin isekai #genshin wanderer #sagau wanderer #genshin scaramouche #sagau scaramouche #sagau x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #seabird.txt #glitch in irminsul au

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muddyorbsblr · 5 months

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all will be alright in time [rtc what if…?]

'relinquish the crown' masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: Loki makes a realization about his role of keeping watch over the timelines when a branch slips from his grasp | sequel to 'bigger than the whole sky'

Pairing: Loki (God of Stories/Time) x Reader

Word Count: 6k [pls prep some drinkies & snacks before going in]

Warnings: 18+ | angst with a happy ending; some steamy moments at the end; this is the RTC universe so…themes of incest if you squint (he's adopted but still…); Loki S2 finale spoilers [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: no prior reading of RTC is required but reading 'bigger than the whole sky' is kind of required…

Dick-tionary: steamy moments (but no outright smut) starts at "We'll need it, my love." and ends at "Happy anniversary, my love"

Time moved differently from where Loki sat, in his throne beyond space and time. It was as if he was simultaneously between two ticks of the clock and experiencing every moment to ever happen in every multiversal timeline all at once. He wouldn't be able to tell if two seconds or two millennia had passed since he bid you farewell.

All he knew was the routine he established. The one that functioned as his own form of a personal clock.

First he would choose one of the timelines at random, monitoring for any threats that could potentially be beyond the capabilities of that world's defenders. More often than not an iteration of Thor would be among that group, so he would check on the blond oaf as well.

In the timelines where his brother mourned him, he would send a snake or a black cat his way. The god's way to send a message. I miss you, too, Brother.

Then he would check on you within that timeline. He found that in a few of those lives you were not in league with his brother, but rather one of the innocents, living your life in a constant state of elevated awareness, anxiously waiting for the next invasion and preparing accordingly. In those lives, you found love with an echo of him. A hotel night manager. A decommissioned military tracker. Even a prince in some timelines. And in a few occasions, an actor.

After that he would check on your timeline. His final stop on his personal clock. Every time a slight anxiety would wash over him, wondering what he would find when he saw you this time.

The first few moons worth of visits he found you in bed, curled into a ball and clutching his pillow. You'd cried yourself to sleep, the disquiet showing on your features even in your slumbering state. You grieved long past what was customary in Asgard, seemingly returning to your wardrobe set in onyx fabric when in truth if one looked close enough it was truly set in the deepest emerald.

Grieving for the living. What a peculiar concept that ruled both your lives.

It was only after a year that you'd begun to re-integrate yourself into Asgard's society, most of your steps fumbling and truly only powering through with the support and occasional aid of your family, mainly Sif and Frigga. You'd made amends with Thor and Odin, apologizing for your behavior while you were under the effects of the spell that locked away your memories, telling them what you could of yours and Loki's story when you became ready.

Lately you'd been working on restructuring some lessons within the school curriculum, assuring that the information was kept up to date and refining where necessary. It gave the god a semblance of peace knowing that there was something that could finally occupy your mind that somewhat gave you some form of satisfaction.

With every cycle he checked on you the longest. Stayed with you until you were fast asleep.

After two years you visited Midgard, blending among the denizens of a town that still reverently worshipped the gods of Asgard and stayed with Loki's altar for a fortnight. You spoke with him as if he was right there in the sanctuary standing beside you, your hand still instinctively twitching to reach for his even after all the time that had passed.

Your last day on Midgard you placed an offering at the altar. Loki could have sworn his heart stopped beating for a good few moments once he caught sight of the gold wedding band laying atop the offering plate. "Husband, I know not if you can see or hear me, but I wanted you to have this. It's a Midgardian tradition, I know, but it's one that I was always quite fond of. To wear something on ourselves that could serve as a symbol of our love. Our fealty to one another. Had I not been under the spell's influence during our wedding I would have chosen to include this in our ceremony. This is the closest I will ever get to giving this to you, but I wanted you to have it regardless."

You placed your hands onto the altar, the god's air catching at the back of his throat and tears welling up in his eyes once he saw the matching gold band around your finger.

"I love you and I miss you desperately and always, my darling husband." You pressed your lips to the black and gold marble altar before walking away, keeping your head down to shield your tears.

It was possible that you'd assumed that the ring, similar to all other offerings on his and the neighboring altars, would either be swiped by a nameless faceless passerby or cleared away throughout the periodic tidying of the sanctuary. That it wouldn't even have crossed your mind that the moment that no eyes were on his altar, he'd conjured the ring over to him, and it was now worn on his finger for him to look upon fondly as he checked on you, pressing his lips to the gold band once you'd tucked yourself into bed for the night, hoping that somehow you would feel the message he was sending you through space and time.

Goodnight, little Princess. I shall see you again tomorrow.

In the years that had passed, you continued to work on various texts, constantly revising on parchments and going back and forth in the library you held in your chambers, still so careful not to disturb Loki's side of the shelves that housed his journals and textbooks. The work had kept your mind occupied, and the people that surrounded you offered pleasant enough company that from an outsider's perspective, you seemed almost as lively as you once were.

They couldn't see that your smile never reached your eyes. They never heard the clipped quality of your laughter or how you would cut it short, the slight wince in your features as if you were admonishing yourself for granting yourself the permission to laugh. And the way that you would start playing with your wedding band straight after.

When he checked on you during what would have been the tenth anniversary of your wedding day, he found you once again curled up in your bed, shaking and screaming into a pillow as sobs wracked your body.

He couldn't help himself. He reached out to you, a breeze blowing through and ruffling your hair in a gentle caress despite all the closed windows and doors in your chambers. You immediately stilled your movements afterward, clutching your pillow tighter against yourself.

"I'm sorry, husband," you spoke into the quiet. "It hurts monumentally worse today."

For the first time in what felt like eons, he was unable to fight the urge of his hand twitching and reaching for yours. And his heart dropped as he felt a branch slip from his grasp.

"No," he hissed in a panic, already moving away from his throne to start chasing after it before the light inside of it began to fade and the branch would die.

Only it didn't. The green glow emanating from the branch remained as vibrant as it was when it was within Loki's grasp. It didn't even move too far away that he'd been able to return it to his hand after a few strides, as if nothing had happened.

"What--"

"I need to be honest, God of Time," a voice spoke from the void. "I was hoping you'd come to this realization a bit sooner."

"Who's out there?!" he yelled out, already conjuring duplicates of himself to be at the ready in case he would need to fight. "Show yourself, intruder."

First a pair of white glowing orbs materialized a mere few feet from where you once were the day that Loki last saw you. And then a body that resembled that of monks on Midgard, in robes that vaguely resembled the ones that he also wore, only set in different colors.

"There is no need to be alarmed, son of Odin. I pose no threat to you. I am the Watcher. I monitor all events within the multiverse, and I have been keeping an eye on how you have been adjusting to your new responsibility as the savior of the timelines."

"How did you get here?" He hadn't done away with his duplicates yet. Each of them were still poised to attack if this Watcher was lying and threatened the safety of the timelines. Any timeline.

"I was made aware of another set of eyes watching over the multiverse once you ascended your throne," the Watcher explained. "This plane is unreachable to most beings within these universes that we watch over, that is true. I am here and I can reach you because I live in the same plane. Think of it as a different room within a house."

"What realization did you speak of earlier?" He made the decision to move the topic along, his question about the branch not dying despite slipping from his fingers truly being the most pressing matter.

"You created a tree," the Watcher answered simply. "In its infancy, like any living thing, it requires a great amount of care. Do you agree?"

Why was this person speaking to him as if he were a child? "Yes, of course, but this doesn't explain what--"

"After it has been given enough time and care, however," he continued, not allowing the god to finish his sentence. "Would you also agree that it would not require as close of a supervision? Once a tree has grown to a certain size, on Earth or Asgard or any other realm, it requires less frequent tending to. It draws most of its energy, its nutrients, its life…from its foundation. The roots have become strong enough to support the rest of the tree, for the most part."

"I…I believe I'm beginning to see your point."

"You've created a tree," he repeated. "And its roots have taken form. They have strengthened. Now I know quite well how you are when spoonfed your answers, so I will leave the rest of this lesson for you to discover on your own. Be well, God of Time."

With that, the Watcher disappeared, once again leaving Loki on his lonesome. The lesson still not fully learned and due a good deal of experimentation.

He started with one branch in each hand, letting them slip from his grasp and observing how they behaved. When there was no visible change and he'd realized that he couldn't feel any loss of life within those two branches, he released another pair. And another. And another.

Suddenly the lesson became crystal clear. He need not keep such vigilant watch on the timelines any longer. Much like a tree, it can be left to grow and flourish on its own, needing only the occasional visit to fortify and further nourish its foundation.

He could step down from this throne removed from time and space. He could end his isolation.

He could come home. To you.

It took a good long while, it could have been minutes or it could have been years, seeing as he constantly reinforced each branch with enough of his magic before setting them free. But finally his hands were empty, and the cape that had refashioned itself to hold more timelines roamed free as well.

He took a few moments to re-familiarize himself with his range of motion, bending and stretching in various positions to ensure that there were no sore points in his body. After that, it didn't take him long to decide on his next course of action.

Before he opened up a portal to his destination, he reinforced the foundation of the tree one last time, hopefully putting enough of a buffer that it would be a good long while before he would need to return.

Hopefully when he did, he would not be walking through the portal alone.

Once he was satisfied with the tree's reinforcements, and he could see that each branch was still existing safely and peacefully in its own place within the multiverse, he conjured a portal. Leading to the familiar corridors of Asgard's palace.

He'd forgotten what it felt like to have the sun on his face, to hear the footsteps of Asgard's people echoing throughout the halls. The sudden onslaught to his senses nearly disoriented him, but he persisted, striding down the hall and barely noticing how the people he passed began to look upon him and whisper words along the lines of Is that him? He's returned? Must we alert someone?

Soon enough he'd arrived at the doors to your chambers, nearly stumbling on his own feet because he couldn't move through the doors fast enough. "Y/N?" he called out, hoping that perhaps he'd arrived at an early enough hour of the day that you were still inside, preparing yourself for your duties ahead.

When enough time had passed with no answer, he accepted that he would have to embark on a search throughout the palace to find you.

"Before I have the guards take you, I expect you to explain yourself," a familiar aged voice pierced the silence of the room. "Who are you and why are you in the princess' marital cham--Loki?"

He turned and he was face to face with Odin, pure shock and a mixture of other expressions he'd never seen on the Allfather coloring his face. His mouth hung open, as if unable to find any words for what he was seeing.

"Hello, Father," Loki began, not entirely sure of what he could say after all the time that had passed. Before he could try and find any words, however, the Allfather's next action stunned him to complete silence.

He bent the knee, bowing his head to the ground.

"Come now, Father, this truly is unnecessary, there were times I've been gone for much longer," he attempted to joke, the tone coming out unnaturally, seeing as it had been eons since he'd actually spoken to anyone other than the Watcher.

Of course a tiny part of him relished in this moment, however. The Allfather bowed to no one. At least he thought…

"Y/N has kept us apprised of what you'd done, my son," he spoke, rising to his feet. "Of what you'd sacrificed to not only save the Nine Realms, but beyond our time, beyond our universe. She has worked tirelessly to ensure that all realms within her reach know the tale of your heroism. That they know you for who you truly are."

Odin motioned for him to look upon the parchments on your desk, illustrations depicting what you'd called "The Heart of Yggdrasil" on a handful of them.

"Children on Asgard and Midgard, and all realms in between, ask her what you are the god of now," Odin began to explain. "She tells them all that you are more than a god now. That you are the best of us. For those who cannot grasp such a large concept she named you the Keeper of Time. For the rest she named you the Savior of the Multiverse."

Loki found it near impossible to breathe trying to process the information, trying to understand that all this time the parchments that you'd been working on had been to tell one specific story. His story.

"She makes me seem some sort of hero," he said in awe.

"From the tales she has told, it is very much deserved." The Allfather clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving a squeeze as if making sure that he was truly there. "I'm proud of you, my son. We should have a ceremony to celebrate your return, and to anoint you your new titles. You have been greatly missed, by your family, by the people, but by no one more than Y/N."

There were no words he could muster to respond adequately other than, "Where is she? Where can I find my wife?"

Odin righted his stance, motioning toward the door. "I suggest trying the training fields. Thor does his best to keep her occupied so her mind won't wander too far. I suspect he will make more of an effort today considering--"

"Today marks a decade since our wedding," Loki finished, his heart constricting at the thought of you struggling to not even think of today, to keep yourself distracted until the last possible moment that you would have to be alone in your chambers, once again sobbing like he had seen you this morning. He began to step toward the corridor. "Thank you, Father."

Do not worry, my darling Y/N. You need not shed any more tears over our separation. Once I find you and have you in my embrace I will never let you go again.

When he made his way to the training gardens he was once again met with a pang of disappointment to find nobody there. Your sparring session with Thor must have reached its conclusion.

Still he attempted to call out to you. "Y/N? Little Princess?"

Again you did not answer, but Loki was met with another familiar voice. "Brother?"

He turned toward the direction of the voice, greeting Thor with a tentative smile, once again trying his hand at his former playful, mischievous tone. "Hello, Brother. Did you miss me?"

Once the blond god had made his way over he only responded by clapping both hands on his shoulders. "Y/N told us of your fate. How is this possible?"

"When last I saw her she stubbornly told me that there had to be another way," he explained, words getting caught in the lump in his throat. "I should have listened to my wife."

"She has been completely beside herself today," Thor offered, looking away the second his eyes began to fill with tears. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "It is agonizing seeing her like this, especially after she'd been doing so well the last few years. But today…today has taken its toll on her. More than she would ever admit, at least to me." He gave his brother's shoulders a light squeeze, not too dissimilar from how their father did a few moments ago. "Your return is the best possible gift you can give her today. Welcome back, Brother."

"Where can I find her?" Loki's tone had grown a touch desperate, his desire to find you and finally hold you again physically making his muscles ache. "Father told me to look here…"

"The armory," his brother finally answered. "She told me she would be there checking on the quality of the wooden swords for the young soldiers in training and that she wishes to be left alone, but I think she would be more than happy to make an exception for you."

He broke into a run, haphazardly thanking his brother before letting his feet carry him to the armory as fast as they could manage. The sound of your voice softly singing a familiar tune that brought him back to the days leading up to the festival for the Autumnal Equinox mere months before you two had become betrothed.

How shamefully oblivious he was back then to the fact that you'd been singing this while thinking of him. So consumed in his own efforts to hide away his affection for fear that you would find him so abominable that he had been unable to see that you had been doing exactly the same.

When he finally looked through the open door of the armory, it was as if he'd forgotten how to breathe, seeing how the light from the window hit your features just so that you seemed an angel. A forlorn angel with puffy eyes and a crease between your brows as you willed yourself to keep focused on the task at hand.

My darling wife.

"No weapons for you today, dear Daughter," your father declared before plucking away your dagger from your hand and placing it down on a nearby bench. "Your mind is far too pre-occupied I cannot in good conscience allow you to spar with anything that could harm either of us."

Instead of sparring as you normally did, him with varying weapons while you stayed your course with your daggers, he tested your defenses. You knew quite well why he'd chosen to spar like this today. It was to keep your mind reactive, your reflexes sharp, and dissuade your mind from thinking of much else in the process.

But ultimately after a few rounds of him too easily breaking through your defenses of crossed arms weakly attempting to push back, he stopped. "Daughter, are you sure you wish to train today? I truly would understand if you wish to--"

"To what, Father?" you interjected, a slight sneer pulling at your upper lip. "To stay in the kitchens and gorge myself with every little cake and pastry I lay my sights on? To see how many pitchers of wine I could consume before I stumble into my chambers and fall asleep?"

"Y/N I simply meant--"

"Look, Father, I'm already sad. On any given day. There is nothing to gain in changing my routine today in a way that would make me any sadder. Today is simply another day, much like the day before and the day after." Your voice choked on your own words, as if your white lies were so potent your own body was recoiling against it. "I will be alright."

Those words tasted the most bitter on your tongue. No, you wouldn't be alright. You hadn't been alright for quite some time.

The sound of Halley's steps bounding toward where you and your father were standing did not alleviate your souring mood any. "Princess! Princess ohh have you heard--"

"Shall I take a guess, my friend?" She excitedly nodded her head telling you to continue. "Fandral and Narda have returned from their betrothal ceremonies across the Realms and they've revealed that they eloped. Probably in Vanaheim. Or even Alfheim."

Her smile dropped, concern coloring her features. "Y/N do you truly not know who has returned to us?"

You shook your head stubbornly. "Halley, much as I am elated for our friend I cannot bring myself to smile and put today out of my mind. Please, do go and send my congratulations to both of them when you see them later in the day but…I'm afraid that I will simply be poor company to keep today."

The words were near impossible to utter through the lump in your throat, a slight hiccup escaping you and making you step away from both of them.

"Princess, if you would please--"

"I will be in the armory," you spoke dismissively. "Ensuring that the wooden swords are still safe to be used. I would appreciate it if I were to be left alone for the remainder of the day."

Thor knew there were no words that could bring you comfort this day in particular, so all he could do was respect your wishes. "I shall have the staff bring your dinner to the armory then."

You gave both him and Halley a single nod before you strode down the corridors toward the armory, sloppily wiping at the fat tears rolling down your cheeks with the sleeve of your dress. Normally you were able to put up a brave enough front so that your friends and family would not have to be so concerned for your well-being, but today…today was nearly impossible to maintain that facade.

Too many thoughts plagued you today of how your hours could have been spent celebrating with your husband; you felt as if the sun was cruel to pull you from those blissful dreams where Loki was by your side and you got to celebrate a decade together like you were meant to. The dreams had felt so real, much like the first times you'd dreamt of your beloved when salacious images overtook your subconscious. So real that when you were ripped from them you couldn't hold back the tears that wracked your body.

And things were only made worse when you felt the breeze in your chambers. The windows were closed, and as were the doors. There should be no wind coming in to your bed chambers, and by that logic you knew exactly what had caused the anomaly.

And guilt overcame you knowing that you'd given your husband enough cause for concern crying in bed the way you were so early in the day that he reached out. The gentle caresses of the breeze that should not be possible ruffling your hair as if trying to tuck it behind your ear the way he used to.

He had enough on his mind keeping watch of all the timelines, he should not be burdened further by witnessing your grieving.

You hadn't felt him at all since that exchange, and for the most part you were grateful for it. The memory of his words the last time you saw each other worsened your guilt. I can't hold you. I couldn't watch you break like this and do nothing.

Perhaps it was better that he look away.

You made your way to the rack that held the wooden swords, lightly running a finger across the dulled blades and immediately finding a dented spot that formed a sharp corner. "That won't do…" you muttered, pulling up a stool and grabbing some sanding paper from a nearby drawer to start filing away and dull the weapon once more.

Absentmindedly you'd begun to start humming an old tune you once sang in the music room, back then trying to express your frustration over finding yourself falling in love with Loki.

I'd let you ruin the rest of my life

How was it that somehow the words rang truer now that you were his wife compared to back then when you were still in the midst of falling?

The sound of another humming along to the tune had you sitting up with your back ramrod straight and alert. "I said I wished to be alone why is everyone so insistent on--" You turned around to berate the unwelcome visitor, only for your words to die off in a rather unbecoming sound in the back of your throat as you saw the figure at the door.

"Hello, little Princess."

"Oh Norns, this is it," you muttered to yourself. "I've finally lost my grip on reality. Hallucinating my husband in the middle of the day and I haven't even had a single sip of wine." You promptly put away the wooden sword and disposed of the sanding paper. "Perhaps I'd inhaled too much of the wood dust and now it's having a bizarre effect on me--"

Your words were cut short feeling a hand curve around your waist, a body walking up behind you and pressing against your back. "I promise you, my love, this is no hallucination…" The air around you became near impossible to breathe as his arm wrapped around your waist, working his free hand up to put your hair over your shoulder and expose the back of your neck.

"Why does this feel so real?" you questioned breathily when your illusion had pressed his lips to the back of your neck, kissing a path to your ear, your voice thinning to the point you could barely utter the words. "Is this Valhalla?"

"No, my darling," he mumbled against your hear, his exhale warming your skin. He turned you around in his arms, placing your hands over his shoulders. "I truly am here. With you."

Tears began to blur your eyes as you tentatively touched your hand to his hair, the air leaving your lungs once he turned his head to kiss a trail from your palm to the inside of your wrist, his eyes never leaving yours.

You shook your head at him, refusing to accept what was right in front of you. "Loki I said no more illusions, don't do this to me," you pleaded, already starting to step back from him.

He had his arms around you, pulling you back into his embrace the second you moved even a fraction of an inch away from him. "This is no illusion, little Princess, I swear to you." He brought your hands back up to his lips, pressing a kiss to each knuckle. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

Before you could utter a word in question, he grabbed the back of your neck and captured your lips in a desperate kiss, his other arm wrapping around you to lift you off the ground and set you down on the now empty wooden desk. You whimpered against him when his hands began to roam your body, grasping frantically at whatever was within his reach to press you harder against him.

You felt the sting of hot tears behind your eyes as you held on to him just as tight, feeling the skin straining and stretching over your knuckles with how hard you grasped at his back. If this was real, you would not allow him to slip from your fingers so easily.

Not like last time.

This time when you pulled away he was still there. You both were. "How is this possible?" you breathed out, your stubborn mind finally beginning to relent and accept that perhaps he truly was here, that this was no illusion cast by your husband to calm you some on what should be such an auspicious day for both of you. You rested your head on his shoulder, tears once again starting to fall down your cheeks. "How are you here?"

"I was wrong, little Princess. There was another way. It took a good deal of time for the solution to be plausible, but I finally found another way."

Neither of you moved from your spot, him stroking your hair and pressing a kiss to the top of your head whenever you sniffled, as he told you about how he'd seen you in your state just this morning and how the branch slipped from his hold. About the other being on that plane of existence called The Watcher leading him to the discovery that a strong enough foundation had finally been built. That now it would only need the occasional visit from him to ensure that its foundation was continually strengthened.

And finally about how the first thing he thought of once he was fully freed from the branches of the timelines was coming home and finding you.

You sat quiet for a good few moments, allowing his words to sink in before you spoke again. "Does this mean…you're staying?" you managed to choke out before a fresh wave of tears begun to fall from your eyes.

"Yes, my love," he whispered into your hair, pressing a tender kiss to the same spot before tilting your head to look up at him, wiping your tears away. "I'm home."

He pressed his lips to yours once more, smiling against your lips when you threw your arms around his neck. He tightened his hold on you, breathing out a slight chuckle when you yelped at the feeling of the table disappearing from under you. When you opened your eyes, you were suddenly in your bed chambers, your husband carrying you across the room in his arms.

"That's…new…" you mumbled against his lips when he kissed you again.

"Eons have passed for me since last we saw each other in our chambers, my darling wife," he whispered into your skin, placing a soft lingering kiss below your ear before laying you down on the bed, your back settling into the soft mattress. "And yet through all that time my body, my heart, only ever craved to have you with me again."

Your heart felt as if it could burst at any moment. After all the time that had passed, it felt completely foreign to you, finally feeling as if you were no longer simply dragging yourself through life. There was no longer a void in your life in the shape of your beloved.

The visions of what your new future could hold now that he had returned overwhelmed you, rendering you unable to do much of anything other than pull him down to you so you could kiss him again, sighing into his mouth when he pressed his weight onto the bed and proceeded to deepen your kiss.

"In that time, little Princess, let's just say my abilities have…evolved. And in mastering them all, I've often thought about how I might use those abilities in this very room. Once we'd reunited and your memories have all been freed."

A small gasp escaped you as you watched a wave of his magic washed over the entirety of your chambers, a slight barrier appearing by the windows and doors before visibly fading into nothing. "Silencing enchantment?" you queried, unable to help the smile that stretched across your face.

"We'll need it, my love." With a small twitch of his fingers, both his robes and your dress dissolved into nothing, baring your bodies to each other. "Oh how I've missed this," he rasped, a thrill shooting through you as you watched him rake his eyes across your body before licking his lips. "How I've missed you."

"Husband," you whined, squirming under his gaze, the undeniable affection and desire shining in his eyes stealing all the breath from your lungs. "I've missed you."

Loki leaned down to hover over you, lips tracing along the bridge of your nose before proceeding to press featherlight kisses all over your face, letting out a shuddering groan when skin met skin, your chests pressed together as you trailed your fingertips down the length of his arm. Once you reached his hand, lacing your fingers between his, tears began to well in your eyes again as the gold band around his ring caught the light.

"You got the ring," you said in wonder, your breath coming out like a bewildered chuckle as he brought your hand up to his mouth to kiss along the backs of your fingers.

"Of course I did. For so long it was the only thing that brought me a sense of comfort, every time I looked upon it, it was almost as if I could feel you with me." He released your hand, leaning back down to capture your lips in a slow, languorous kiss. "And now I finally do."

You moaned against his lips as his hand wrapped around your knee, hooking your leg around him as he proceeded to roll his hips into yours.

"I know we should probably announce my return," he said in a teasing tone. "But I haven't even the slightest urge at the moment to do anything other than…reunite with my darling wife." He smirked against your lips as you whimpered desperately at the feel of him lining himself up at your entrance. "The only thing I plan on keeping for the foreseeable future is the love of my life, on our marital bed. Any and all forms of clothing forbidden."

"I have no objections to that," you said back breathlessly. "Happy anniversary, husband."

"Happy anniversary, my love."

One day, centuries after your reunion, Loki helped you into a set of robes that seemed more suitable for lounging than anything else before conjuring up a portal that led back to the tree. He would have to be there for a while, tending to the branching timelines and ensuring that they would all stand on their own for a good long while after he would once again leave them to grow and flourish on their own.

"I want you to come with me, darling. We could make an adventure of it."

He didn't need to ask twice. You would go to the ends of the world with him.

He held your hand firmly in his as he led you through the portal toward the solitary throne he once occupied, giving you a soft smile as you discovered the changes he made to the space before he went home to you all those years ago.

There were now two thrones at the heart of the tree.

A/N: I had to make it better I couldn't just leave my precious blorbos in pain even if this is an alternate universe 🥺🥺 And I just had to add that little bit of Odin bending the knee as a treat 🫡

Here's the song that gave me most of the vibe for this story:

And here's the song that Y/N was singing in the armory:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #loki angst #loki laufeyson angst #muddyorbs writes #Spotify

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herelieskrisy · 4 months

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We need more tlou3 ellie x reader

There are two tropes I’m an absolute bitch, whore, and slut for. Ellie x reader as mothers and ellie x reader after the events of the last of us part two!

My bored and lonely brain was thinking as usual and I realized we don’t have enough ellie x reader post-epilogue. Which is like… why? The amount of angst and eventual fluff that could be added is insane. Watching Ellie grapple with the gut-wrenching aftermath of grief and slowly finding her new purpose. Becoming her old self again and healing with a new lover along the way.

I started thinking of story ideas and settled on this one being my favorite. It might be crap or it might be genius, I dunno.

(just imagine how desperate and passionate the smut would be)

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!!!THIS IS JUST A SUMMARY NOT AN ACTUAL FIC!!!

౨ৎ Ellie’s spent months in Jackson trying to make amends with Dina and JJ. There are hard consequences she has to face, being that betrayal isn’t easily forgotten, and every single street corner and creaky saloon reminds her of Joel Miller. This town used to be a safe haven, a sanctuary where she was met with warm people and even warmer memories. Memories turn to bittersweet shackles that tug her back from being full, leaving an empty shell of what once was. She thought her new purpose was getting her family back, but that wasn’t enough. There’s no fairness to her finding comfort in the arms of a former lover she hurt so bad, left to rot just like all the other lives sacrificed in the name of her living. Talks of fireflies banding together to build communities and restore humanity leave Ellie curious as she’s reminded of the cross-country journey that brought her to this position in the first place. Jerry Anderson is dead thanks to her, so there’s no hope for a vaccine, but there might be a sliver of light for a second chance. Ellie yearns to be apart of something greater. A journey that could once again fill the void that is her soul. She’s taken enough from this barren Earth already, why not give back? Setting off for the fireflies, she’s met with a familiar face from her past, the murderer of Joel Miller.

Abby Anderson and Ellie Williams share two things in common. They have the same goals of building a larger group of survivors, and they’ve taken a liking to you.

You who became close friends with Abby soon after she found the fireflies on Catalina Island with a scrawny scar-faced boy accompanying her. She might be the most genuine person you’ve ever met, which makes it shameful when you start giggling a little too hard at a certain auburn-haired girl’s jokes. The same auburn-haired girl who’s constantly mentioned in Abby’s tales of the crazy immune chic who used to be set on killing her.

Ellie wasn’t looking to make friends on this mission. She wanted to seek the fireflies and support them in whatever greater goal they had in store. However, she feels this sweet tangy guilt when she finds herself admiring the way you laugh at her jokes. The way your lips quirk up in a grin that’s all too amused to be friendly. With Dina and JJ still hot on her mind, she insists that you’re nothing but a friend crush. But it’s been months and Dina still hasn’t taken her back, understandably so… Maybe it wouldn’t hurt for Ellie to seek comfort in another’s touch. Maybe the fear of not being good enough for her former family can be set aside. Just for now, while she’s knuckles deep in your cunt. She swears to herself it’s a fling and you’re nothing more than a placeholder. A placeholder who Ellie happens to hold very, very dear to her heart. We change people like seasons change color, and as seasons pass the old is replaced with something new. A fresh start might be what this crazy immune chic needs.

Stolen campfire kisses, deep late night conversations, and talks of the stars reignite a spark in the pits of Ellie’s core. If you light a match in front of a moth, it’ll chase it. And baby you’re a whole wildfire.

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I wouldn’t plan on this being an ellie x reader x abby love triangle, but after writing that summary out I’m realizing it has potential to be one. Love triangles are just a bit cliche to my liking and I’d want this to be super Ellie focused. Like from her pov and everything. It’s about her emotional rollercoaster and learning to love/be loved again.

Exploring Ellie’s dynamics with different people is so yummy and I feel like this wouldn’t just be a romance for Ellie x reader, but also an enemies to friends for Ellie x Abby.

Once again, I’m not a writer so I’ll probably never turn this into a series. If there ARE any writers out there who are interested in this idea and would wanna work together I’d be so down.

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ravennaortiz · 2 months

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Companion piece can be found here.

Summary: Gilly has always known you were the one. Even when he pushed you away. For years he tortured himself until one day you came back home to Santo Padre to stay. As always 18+, general themes of the show.

Word Count: 1.6K

"So you gonna get the balls to ask her out or what?" inquired Coco as he slid into the chair next to Gilly who had been watching you play pool with Angel. Gilly sighed as he took a drink of his beer. "I don't know that I deserve her man. Not after how I ended things" he replied remorsefully. "I mean she seems like the forgiving type. Boy Scout and Angel broke that Snowman thing her mama got her and she forgave them. Not like you beat the shit out of her or something heinous" shrugged Coco as he fixed his gaze on his best friend.

Gilly pondered the events of the last few weeks. Coco had a fair point about your forgiving nature. Though he still couldn't look back on that fateful day he had up ended both your lives and not feel like an ogre. "You spent over three grand on a snowman. Don't act like she's not special. We all see it man. Forgive yourself for being an idiot and then get your girl" Coco stated firmly before casting a look over to where you and Angel were laughing. "If you don't make your move soon. One of us will have too" he added with a grin. "None of you are man enough for her" snapped Gilly his eyes flashing with anger at the idea of one of his brothers putting moves on you.

"Simmer down" muttered Coco as he laughed at how easily Gilly had been riled. "Seriously though. We all like her man. She fits in well. Like she's always been around. Gilly rolled his eyes "You just like the free food Coco". Coco shrugged before standing up. "What can I say I'm a simple man. Gilly laughed loudly "Simple is right".

The next morning Gilly woke up with you on his mind. Which wasn't unusual but this time he could feel your presence like you were next to him in his bed. He rolled over breathing deeply into the pillow and could almost make out your scent. The conversation last night with Coco had only spurred his feelings on. He knew he needed to tell you he still had feelings for you. That he had never stopped but he was unsure if you would be accepting. Had too much time passed for him to make amends? Yes you had let him back into your life but he could still feel a wall between the two of you that he wasn't sure he could break through. He got dressed quickly knowing he needed to make a couple stops before he went over to your house.

***

Gilly kneeled down in front of the headstone and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dusted it off. He then put the wildflower bouquet into the vase next to it before taking a deep breath. He was more nervous then he expected given that he had been doing this routine every week for several months and speaking to the dead wasn't unusual for him.

"Morning Mama Kay" he uttered as he cleared his throat. "Your little girl is still doing fine, I know you know that" he chuckled to himself. "She sure misses ya a lot. I do too. You always saw the good in me and were the only adult who gave a damn about me. You gave me a sanctuary from war zone I was born into. I hope you know how thankful I was growing up." A burst of wind pushed at him out of no where. "Alright, alright no need to shove" Gilly mumbled as he put his hands up in defeat.

"I guess what I came here to say is I am gonna finally ask her to give me a second chance. I know I don't deserve one and honestly she is still too good for me. I know my lifestyle is.....dangerous but I promise you I would never let anything happen to her." Gilly paused as he collected his thoughts trying to stop the rambling. He could hear Mama Kay's voice telling him to get to the point. Gilly took a deep breath then turned his face up to the sky. " I'm ready to be the man she needs and I just want to know if that is okay with you?" blurted Gilly as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. Several minutes passed before he felt a gentle warmth brush his cheek. "Thank you Mama Kay" he whispered before kissing the headstone and getting up to head back to his bike.

***

Gilly sat waiting for your answer. You nodded and looked down at your mug of tea as you considered what Gilly had told you. The difference of this conversation versus the one that gutted you was not lost on you. He had laid all his cards on the table. He could only hope you had forgiven him for being a dumb kid all those years ago when he had broken up with you hours before getting on a plane for his first deployment. He had been in love with you since that first crooked smile you had flashed his way in eight grade. By your freshmen year the two of you were a couple and glued to each others sides through high school and your first two years of college.

He did his best to tell you he was not the right man for you and never would be. That he could never provide you the life you wanted and deserved. He remembered almost giving in when you dropped to your knees into the dirt and gravel latching onto his pant leg as you pleaded with him. You told him how much he meant to you and that you loved him and wanted only him forever. You denied his words that he wasn't enough or good enough for your love. The tears poured down your face and the urge to wipe them away was overwhelming. He choked back his own sob as he pried you off him and picked you up.

Squeezing your arms just enough to quiet your sobs he drove the final nail home. "Tell me why you can't get it through your head I don't want you any more" he had asked you. He watched every emotion play across your face before you quietly asked "Why? Why are you being so cruel?" He never gave you an answer he just simply let you go and turned his back on you. Your sobs echoed in his head every night as he recalled getting in his car and driving away.

You didn't know this but he only got a half mile down the road before he was sobbing himself. He was only going to stay in the military for so long but each time he set foot on U.S soil his actions hit him like a ton of bricks all over again. He could only blame himself for his loneliness. Which is why he had reached out to Mama Kay. Wanting to feel a connection back home but also wanting to see how you were doing. He had been pleased to get a letter back that was full of warmth, love and a photo of the two of you.

Reaching across the table you took his hand in yours and swallowed hard. If this was going to work you were going to have to tell him a secret that you had harbored all these years. That you had banned your mother from telling him as well once you realized they had reconnected. Gilly watched you closely and held his breath as he watched two tears trail down your cheeks. "I never stopped loving you Gilly. You were always the one for me too. I want to try again too" you started as he smiled happily at you.

"I need to tell you something though first". You were getting ready to hurt him and you hated yourself for it. "I was pregnant." you whispered as you looked down at the table unable to see the pain crush the bear of a man in front of you. Gilly felt like a train had ran him over as his brain rushed to understand. The implication of your words hit him. Not only had he left you while you were in a vulnerable state but something had happened as well. Gilly blinked back tears. Monsters don't get to grieve he thought to himself.

You tensed as you heard Gilly get up from his chair and your heart dropped. You were losing him again. Sobs wracked your body as you felt the pain of both losses all over again. "Shhhh. Its okay" murmured Gilly as he knelt next to you grabbing your hands in his. "I'm not going anywhere. Right here is where I want to be" he added as you cried into his shoulder.

After a few moments you had calmed down some. Gilly carefully used his thumb to brush the lingering tears from your face. "May I ask what happened?' he asked quietly as he met your eyes. You simply nodded as your heart clenched and your stomach rolled at the memory. "I was depressed, scared and angry. The pregnancy was so extremely difficult and we were high risk on top of everything. I was bedridden for most of it in the hopes not working and such would help with the stress and symptoms.

I went into labor too early still, ended up going into cardiac arrest and she didn't make it. She was a tiny little thing and she fought like hell to live but...." you stated just shaking your head as the memories played in your mind. The whirring of machines, panic stricken faces, yelling nurses and doctors as they tried to save both of you. Then the darkness came as you started to fade away. The next thing you remember was waking up to your Mama praying over you as she squeezed your hands.

"I'm so sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything and it won't fix what happened or fix the pain" stated Gilly as he caressed your cheek gently. "This news doesn't change how I feel about you though. I hope you know that". "I will always regret what I did and that I wasn't here for you.

You closed your eyes as you leaned into the tender caresses letting his words wash over you. "I've felt like a failure for so long Gilly. Couldn't keep my man, couldn't be pregnant correctly, couldn't keep my baby alive. I felt like I was never suppose to know love, kindness or grace. Mama always told me I was wrong. She always talked highly of you." you murmured as you thought back onto some of your moms last words.

"Gilly was a scared boy who made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Its how you fix a mistake that matters.

"Your mama was something special. Just like you" replied Gilly as he smiled before leaning forward and gently placing a kiss on your lips. "Let me love you and cherish until death knocks for us" he whispered as he pulled back slightly. "I love you" you murmured before meeting his lips again.

***

Kneeling down at the tiny bear shaped tombstone you gently cleaned away the dirt and weeds as your hands shook slightly. "Sofia, my sweet angel. I want you to finally meet your daddy" you murmured as you looked up at Gilly who had tears in his eyes. "Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most." stated Gilly as he moved to his knees and laid a bouquet of flowers down before kissing the tombstone.

#ravennasmasterlist #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #gilly lopez imagine #gilly lopez x reader #gilly lopez #mayans gilly #gilly x reader #gilly lopez mayans #mayans fanfiction #mayans fanfic

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reality-detective · 1 year

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Watch "Fight Back! Kentucky Aims to Become Next Second Amendment Sanctuary State After Biden Signs New EO" on YouTube

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This isn't final... Listen! 🤔

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avelera · 2 years

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So far my multi-chapter Dream/Hob fics have more or less all consisted of canon divergence historical AUs based on the idea of, "What would have happened if Dream and Hob hooked up after THIS meeting?"

"Giving Sanctuary" - what if Hob and Dream hooked up after 1689? The divergence point: Hob's destitution and misery over his lost family and particularly his dead son makes Dream second guess parting ways with him at the White Horse and the two bond over shared grief.

"Come live with me and be my Love" - what if Hob and Dream hooked up after 1789? (But also after enough time has passed for Hob to have attempted to make some amends for his mistakes.) The divergence point: In 1818, Dream loses a wager with Desire and must live as Hob's "wife" for a year. Shenanigans and domesticity ensue.

"Untitled/Obligatory Hob Rescues Dream from Burgess fic" - what if Hob and Dream hooked up after 1889? - Unpublished WIP, on Hiatus until I complete one of the above two. The divergence point: In 1889, Hob was so desperate to contact his stranger and apologize that he dabbled in the occult and picked up a few basic spells to contact him, but never had the courage to use them. Fast forward to 1926, and it turns out his dabbling lead to him ending up on Roderick Burgess's radar, who believes Hob is a fellow Magus who somehow forced Dream into giving him the immortality he's so far denied Burgess, and he would now like Hob to help him do the same (or else). Now Hob must rescue Dream, himself, and do so while convincing Roderick Burgess they are indeed kindred spirits and the best of friends.

So, I think it can be said I have a type? Now I'm a bit curious as to what I would do from other divergence points, but I'm afraid of giving myself more plotbunnies XD

#dreamling #arranged marriage au dreamling #1689 fic

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 1 year

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The Colorado Springs shooting, in which a gunman killed five people and wounded more than a dozen at a queer nightclub on November 19, has already been framed as a failure of red flag laws, policies designed to allow law enforcement to disarm people considered a clear risk to themselves or others.

But in this case, it appears a red flag order could have been used against the suspect — and local officials may have chosen not to.

Of 64 counties in the state, El Paso County, home to Colorado Springs, is one of at least 37 counties that have declared themselves a “Second Amendment sanctuary” and openly defied the state’s gun laws. El Paso County’s commissioners did so in response to the state’s proposed red flag law in 2019.

“We’re not going to pursue these on our own,” El Paso County Sheriff Bill Elder said as the law was being debated in the state Legislature, “meaning the Sheriff’s Office is not going to run over and try to get a court order.” Elder has said that the Sheriff’s Office would enforce court orders, but that it wouldn’t pursue petitions on its own, except in some extreme circumstances.

Data suggests that Elder has been true to his word. In Colorado, red flag petitions can be filed by law enforcement, or a family or household member. An analysis of court records by 9News found that, between January 2020, when the law went into effect, and November 2021, just 39 risk protection order petitions were filed in El Paso County, the most populous county in the state, with more than 737,000 residents. Only eight of those petitions — or 21% — were granted.

None of the approved petitions were filed by law enforcement, the 9News analysis shows. Unlike most counties in the state, they were all initiated by family and household members.

“Oftentimes, law enforcement are the people who are coming into contact with individuals who pose a danger to themselves or others,” said Allison Anderman, senior counsel and director of local policy at the Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence. “If they’re not using them, they’re going to be less effective.”

In the case of the Club Q shooting, the suspect — who was charged Monday with multiple murder and hate crimes charges — allegedly threatened in June 2021 to detonate a bomb and harm his mother with “multiple weapons.” He was arrested and charged with multiple felonies, although the charges were later dropped.

The suspect’s history made him an ideal candidate for a gun removal order under a red flag law. Yet he was never subject to one, and legally purchased the two guns he allegedly used in the shooting.

Colorado’s Extreme Risk Protection Orders law is not an automatic process and requires cooperation from local law enforcement and from the community members it aims to protect. Unlike other states that have removed guns from thousands of people deemed dangerous, as in Florida, Colorado’s state courts have issued relatively few risk protection orders.

Under Colorado law, for an order to be granted barring someone from possessing or purchasing firearms, a law enforcement official or agency, or a family or household member, must file a petition in court and show that a person is a risk to themselves or others. A judge can then grant a temporary risk protection order lasting up to 14 days, after which point they can grant a final extreme risk protection order lasting up to one year, though the order can be extended further if warranted.

But, according to its website the El Paso Sheriff’s Office will not petition for a red flag order except in some “exigent circumstances,” or if there is probable cause that a crime has been or will be committed. Elder has said that he believes the law violates the Fourth and Fourteenth Amendments.

“It is the policy of the Sheriff’s Office to respect and protect the constitutional rights of all those we serve,” reads a post on its website. “The El Paso County Sheriff’s Office will ensure that the rights of people to be free from unreasonable search and seizures, and to receive due process of law, are safeguarded and maintained.”

By contrast, in less populous Denver County to the north, law enforcement and family filed some 63 petitions, and judges issued a risk protection order in 79% of those cases. Of the 50 orders approved, 47 were filed by law enforcement.

Denver County’s statistics, unlike El Paso County’s, reflect a national trend, according to Anderman: Law enforcement officers and agencies are more likely to file and be granted a red flag petition, she said, in part because family members are often intimidated by the process of going to court, and in at least seven states, only law enforcement officials are allowed to petition for a red flag order.

But leaving the implementation of red flag laws to local, elected law enforcement officials like sheriffs allows politics to interfere. Unlike city or state police, county sheriffs are elected and, according to a national survey, many of them believe that gun laws go too far and, in several cases, have refused to implement them.

“There is a pattern of sheriffs trying to step in and proclaim their authority to both set policy, as well as enforce policy,” said Emily Farris, an associate professor of political science at Texas Christian University. Along with Mirya Holman, of Tulane University and the Marshall Project, Farris surveyed more than 500 sheriffs about their views of their authority. “They themselves feel that they get to interpret whether or not something is constitutional, and what their office is or is not going to do.”

Some states have taken steps to train law enforcement officials and residents on how to file red flag petitions. In New York, where a mass shooting at a supermarket in Buffalo prompted questions about the state’s red flag law, Governor Kathy Hochul ordered State Police to file for red flag orders whenever they have probable cause. The directive, along with a new law passed by the state Legislature requiring all law enforcement agencies to increase their use of red flag orders, led to a substantial increase in red flag petitions.

While Hochul’s order appears to have increased red flag applications among the agencies she can control, it may not affect county sheriffs. Governors can control state police, and city councils can control city police, but sheriffs offices lack that same oversight.

“Sheriffs have really been overlooked in their role in gun control because it’s these kinds of laws, like red flag laws, that either involve law enforcement doing the petition, or rely on law enforcement’s right to enforce the petition,” Farris said. “So you can have this uneven enforcement even within one state because sheriffs are individually asserting themselves. It underscores the importance of paying attention to who your sheriff is. If they choose not to [enforce red flag laws], if they just disagree, there’s very little oversight mechanisms to make them.”

The sheriff in El Paso County is not the only local official who opposed the red flag law. Republican District Attorney Michael Hall, who assumed office in January 2021, took an even tougher stance against the law when campaigning for the office in 2020. “This law is a poor excuse to take people’s guns and is not designed in any way to address real concrete mental health concerns,” he wrote on Facebook in January of that year.

A month later, he went even further, writing that those living in his judicial district “can rest easy” knowing that the District Attorney’s Office “will not participate in ‘red flag’ confiscation.”

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porterdavis · 1 year

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Going the wrong direction

At least 17 states, most of them led by Republicans, introduced bills this year trying to make it easier to buy, own and carry weapons, providing guns to teachers and declaring themselves Second Amendment sanctuaries, according to a FiveThirtyEight analysis. This continues a trend of Republican legislatures and governors increasing access to guns.

“Many of these people … actually do believe that more guns [mean] people are safer,” said Sean Holihan, the state legislative director for Giffords, the nonprofit founded by former Arizona Rep. Gabby Giffords that aims to stop gun violence. “The data shows us over and over again that that’s simply not the case.”

Monica Potts

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serharwinbreakmybones · 1 year

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hold me like we're going home pt 3

first part here second part here

Summary: He hates that it takes him looking around the room at these people who are supposed to be adults, who are supposed to care, to realise that if they don't look after eachother then no one will. It's why he doesn't deny it when Aemond names him as the one who spread 'rumors' of their dear sister's boys being bastards. It's why he only nods at Aemond when no one is looking and takes the blame that would have been aimed at him. It's why he slips into Aemond's room after his mother and the maester have taken their leave and stays awake all night as a guard.

or, Aegon has spent most of his life running away from the responsibilities he never asked for, and too long hurting the people that he should be standing united with. It takes a loss of an eye to wake him up.

Pairings: Aemond x Aegon, minor platonic side pairings included.

Trigger warnings: None, will update if any become needed.

Side note, everyone's ages and certain events have been altered on the timeline for this, so aside from the first part, everyone is several years older.

Chapter Text

“I don’t want to marry Helaena,” Aegon says, laying back on the grass and staring up at the trees above them. The light filters down through the leaves, casting alternating shadows and pools of golden light across the grass, and when Aegon turns his head to look at him, just for a second, he almost looks like one of the characters in Helaena’s romance stories, especially with the gold catching in his hair and turning it into spun gold. Aemond looks away, back down to the book in his lap, before he can be caught staring, ignoring the heat that flares in his face. Nothing on the page catches his interest, but it’s better than being backed into talking about why he’s already looking whenever Aegon glances at him.

This isn’t the first time Aegon has said something like this. They’d had a similar conversation at Driftmark the day Aemond lost his eye, but it had been more scornful then, as if the ridiculous part wasn’t that he was expected to marry at all but that he was expected to marry Helaena, of all people. Now, Aegon just sounds tired. It’s not just Aemond that Aegon has been trying to make amends to, he’s noticed all the things Aegon has been doing to make up for how he treated all of them over the years, not just him. It’s easier with Helaena. She’s always been the most forgiving out of all of them, except for maybe Daeron, who is still easily placated with toys and trinkets.

“I don’t want to be King either, no matter what mother says,” Aegon continues, and if they weren’t away from the city, the same place that they always visit when they need to get away from the suffocating tediousness of the court, Aemond would have already told him to keep his thoughts about it to himself. Three years ago, they’d been in this same spot when they’d told each other about the dreams they’d had, the things they had seen, and it’s become something of a sanctuary ever since. Something just for the two of them. “I would make a horrible king, everyone knows it. Yet she would put the crown on my head just to save herself from the consequences of publicly denouncing Rhaenyra’s brood. As if I’m nothing more than a safeguard for her to keep her head firmly on her shoulders.”

It used to bother him, the disregard in Aegon’s voice whenever he spoke of their mother, but it’s been a long time since he bothered trying to rein it in. Aemond has seen the bruises that bloom whenever Aegon is ordered into a private audience with their mother, the redness of his eyes for hours afterwards, the way he flinches if anyone moves too fast around him. He hasn’t seen it happen for himself, not yet, but he knows what it all means. He hadn’t wanted to believe it at first. When his eye had been taken from him, she had been the only one to insist that the act deserved retribution, she had attempted to do the deed herself, no one else had taken his side so completely. At least not until Aegon had found him hours later. She loves them, he knows. She must, or she wouldn’t be so worried about them, she would’ve cast them aside years ago like their father had, but as he grows older he understands more and more that her love didn’t make her a good person, or a good mother.

“Helaena will make a good wife, and a good mother.” It isn’t what Aemond wants to say, not truly, but it’s what he says anyway. It’s not a lie, she would make a good wife, and when the time comes Aemond knows she will make an excellent mother. He’s even almost gotten over the jealousy that fills him when he thinks about it, or so he likes to tell himself. Truthfully, the thought of the wedding that will take place once Helaena comes of age makes him feel like he’s going to either scream or lose his mind entirely. He does neither and keeps how he feels about it locked inside his chest, determined never to let anyone see it.

“If that’s what I wanted, I could find that anywhere. That isn’t what I mean,” Aegon huffs, pulling a handful of grass out of the ground roughly, strands of green poking through his closed fist. They flutter down to the ground in the wind when he opens his hand like falling leaves, and for a moment neither of them speak as they watch.

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you ever wanted to do something more than live out the life that mother and grandfather have decided for us? Something you’ve never told anyone else, something you’d like to do for you and not someone else.”

Yes, “No,” Aemond carefully turns a page in the book, though he doesn’t register anything on the paper as he does. He’s already read this one before, yet another recollection of the histories of their House, but he cannot for the life of him remember what it says right now. Not with Aegon leaning up and staring at him, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. It’s a side effect of the not drinking, it has to be, because Aegon was never this observant before. Or maybe he was and just never bothered doing anything with the things he saw that most others would miss.

“You’re lying. Come on, little brother, what have you always wanted to do but wouldn’t dare? Run away? Fly away to Essos and live the rest of your life as a member of the Golden Company? Brave the ruins of Valyria? Wait, I know. There’s someone you have your eye on, but you’ve talked yourself into thinking they won’t want anything to do with you.”

It hits uncomfortably close to the truth. Aemond hasn’t told anyone, not even Helaena, but he’s sure that she knows something about it, if the knowing looks she gives him across the dinner table is any indication. Still, they’ve never talked about it, and if the Gods are merciful in any way, they never will.

“I’m the second son,” Aemond says, as evenly as he can, “I might not have the expectations on me as you do, but it doesn’t mean I get much of a choice in-“

Aegon flops back on the grass with a groan, cutting off the same rehearsed speech Aemond has been giving for years whenever Aegon tried to start this conversation. He can’t tell the truth, and so he sticks to the facts. When he marries, if he marries, it will be for a political advantage, not because he wants to. His future marriage, if there is one, will be used to strengthen alliances or ensure loyalty, and any feelings Aemond might have about it won’t matter even a bit. Yet another way their mother has shown her hypocrisy.

“You tell me, then. What would you do, if you had the chance to do anything?”

“Run away,” Aegon says without hesitation. “Somewhere far away where no one has ever even heard of King’s Landing. I could live the rest of my life without anyone looking at me like they know who I am, and no one would be around to tell me what I can and can’t do. No crowns, or weddings, or anything I didn’t want to do. Just me and Sunfyre.”

Aemond doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods. He can’t say he doesn’t understand. Aegon has been talking about leaving for years, but for now, at least, he’s never gone through with his grand plans. Aemond just doesn’t know if he stays because he would miss them, or if he stays because he knows the cloaks would find him if he tried. He’d like to think it’s because Aegon wouldn’t leave them, but part of him still doesn’t believe that this new version of his brother isn’t just some elaborate, grand joke.

“I would come back to visit, of course, I couldn’t leave you all to deal with mother and grandfather alone.”

“Of course,” Aemond echoes, and stands up abruptly, crossing the clearing to the stream in the far corner. It’s as good an excuse as any, refilling the water pitcher, and it means that Aegon cannot see his face with his back turned and his hair making a curtain between him and the rest of the world. Of course, it doesn’t matter anyway, because Aegon follows behind him like a shadow, and it’s hard to escape him when he drapes himself over Aemond’s back like a cloak.

“So, when are you going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t.” Lie. But it’s not his fault. He can’t exactly admit the real reason, and he has no desire to hear the scorn that would be aimed in his direction if he said it out loud.

“You have.”

“Can we not do this?”

When he turns around, Aegon is still right there, and it shouldn’t be amusing that Aegon now has to tilt his head back to look up at him properly but it is. For a second, they just stand there staring at each other, and he’s surely just imagining the way Aegon’s eyes flick down to his lips. Right?

“I think we should. You’re always so repressed, it’s not healthy, little brother, you’ll turn yourself into diamonds if you put yourself under so much pressure,” Aegon grins at him, taking a half step closer, and Aemond clutches the pitcher of water to his chest like a lifeline before he catches himself and lowers it, taking a step back.

Aegon matches him step for step, he really should have expected that, and soon enough he finds himself with Sunfyre warm at his back, Aegon in front of him watching him with sharp eyes, face set into something more serious now. Long gone are the days when Aemond was afraid of anything, and he’s never been nervous of much since he got better with his sword work, so he really has no other excuse for why he breathes in shakily now except the proximity. He hasn’t been scared of anything Aegon could do to him since the night they made the promise to each other to look after the other, so he can’t fall back on that excuse either.

“You look nervous, Aem. Want to tell me why?”

“I’m not nervous.” Damn the shakiness of his voice. The soft fingers on the sides of his face don’t help, especially when a thumb starts to brush along the bottom of the scar that snakes down his cheek. He’ll deny the way he turns his head and sighs for the rest of his days.

“Then tell me the truth. Haven’t you ever wanted to just take what you wanted, damn the consequences?”

#house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfiction #aemond x aegon #aemond targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #this is a repost from my ao3 under a different name #hotd aegon #hotd aemond #canon aegon doesn't exist to me idk him

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kotlc-deleted-scenes · 7 months

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Keeper Summer Week #5

Second Deleted Scene from Neverseen

This conversation also used to be part of the scene where Sophie and her friends finally catch up with Mr. Forkle in Italy, but I cut it for the same reasons I cut the previous scene: It was slowing the pacing and not really revealing important information. I love showing how the elvin world's problems are spilling into the human world, but I'd already accomplished that with other things that happened in Florence, so this was redundant and needed to be trimmed.

—Shannon

Don’t worry—we were able to get Gethen to safety," Mr. Forkle assured them. "But our stronghold has been destroyed. As has the human landmark we'd used to disguise it."

"Which landmark?" Sophie asked.

"I believe they call it the Sphinx. I've honestly never understood what humans were thinking with that bizarre thing. But it's gone now. Along with the pyramid we'd used for a decoy."

"That's…I…" All of Sophie's words felt too impossible. "I didn't even know those could burn."

"Sadly, anything can burn with the right kind of fire."

"So it was Brant?" she asked.

"We never saw the arsonist. But the flames were Everblaze. Luckily, we learned from the Council's mistake and keep a supply of frissyn on hand. Still, this cannot keep happening!"

Keefe snorted. "You think? Are you ready to listen to me now?"

"Actually, Mr. Sencen, we are. We've voted to try your plan—with a few key amendments."

Mr. Forkle went over the details, but Sophie could only half listen. She was too busy trying to imagine Egypt without the Sphinx and one of the pyramids. "The humans must be freaking out," she murmured.

“Buildings can be replaced, Miss Foster.”

“History can’t. Those buildings were landmarks.”

"Landmarks we helped them build."

Sophie sighed, remembering a lesson from her elvin history session on how the elves helped humans build the pyramids—back when the Human Assistance Program was still in effect.

"The fact of the matter is, Sophie, we all share this planet," Mr. Forkle reminded her. "And unfortunately, that means that some- times others will suffer for our problems. But we, in turn, suffer for theirs. We've even had to build sanctuaries to protect all of the species that humans are destroying—and find means to clean their pollution out of our water and air."

"I still think you should move your hideouts away from human areas," she mumbled.

"Sadly, that is not an option. Besides, you must remember that these hideouts have existed for decades. The Neverseen are only destroying them now because we have their Telepath. If we learn how they are tracking him, the attacks will stop.”

#kotlc deleted scene #kotlc deleted scenes #neverseen

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explosionshark · 8 months

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Okay so my trilogy of new Faithwatch episodes starts naturally with Superstar that works great as a followup to Who Are You and gets to be qualified as part of Faithwatch on three great fronts. Firstly tone, it works great as an emotional cool down following Who Are You they had a ton of fun making this episode, great set design, great sound design. Secondly there is follow up between Buffy and Riley from the event of Who Am I. And thirdly and what is the biggest thing for me is that its at its a core a low stakes redo of Who Am I, both Faith and Johnathan effectively took the role of Buffy for their respective episodes but because Buffy's not as close to it and its a lot lower stakes she can actually offer a sympathetic touch to Johnathan in that closing scene and give him advice to get through it.

Also tangents from this episode, love Anya's shrimp metaphor for alternate universes, Willow and Tara's Johnathan collage and Riley's signed poster of him are very strong gags and shout out I guess to Adam for his scene explaining why he's not affected by the universe swap because he's fully aware of every atom of his being. Also something neat from that scene is him explaining that he exists for chaos (which sure I've barely seen anything from him that really suggests that but I'll believe him) made me realise there's an unintended but neat cycle going on with, Master: Order, Angelus: Chaos, Mayor: Order, Adam: Chaos. Alliterative and repeating, I think I know the last Big Bad is The First Evil which alas does not fit this accidental sequence but there's still two left that might fit it. Oh I can't believe I forgot the OP, just as it started I thought oh it'd be great if they filled this with shots of Johnathan and then they did, it was incredible, I can't believe they still prompted me to skip it.

Five by Five is excellent, love how hard it goes into the Angel is Faith parallels. Love the recontexualising it can give the whole episode that this whole thing was Faith's sucide by Angel attempt. Like throughout the episode I was just assuming this was Faith fully unhinged and off the chain, she's not got trying to look like she's not a murderer, she's not got the Mayor, she's not got having to pretend to be Buffy so she's burying everything she'd been feeling as deep as she could and going for whatever makes her feel good. But with the added context she's just proving she's bad so she can prove she has to die which is a perfect continuation from her status at the end of Who Am I and that closing exchange between Riley and Buffy on her "She's had her fun" "Yeah . . . Fun" the dichotomy of Faith. The best one being the scene with Wolfram and Hart hiring her for the Angel hit the way she lights up, the initial first reading is an easy Angel and her have shared history with Buffy this is a great stab at her and she gets paid and she gets away from her consequences, the second reading this is someone who can kill her. Also she looks so sad and wet at the end there, I'd say the saddest she's ever looked but then Sanctuary starts up and she looks even sadder and more pathetic I loved it. But she was also having a great time clubbing I also loved that. Also I totally thought she'd just killed that guy when she got off the bus but good for her Sanctuary lets us know she just mugged him.

So Sanctuary the saddest and most pathetic Faith's ever been in that opening scene of Angel walking her into Angel Investigations (I love her). This episode felt like it was the culimation of a lot of groundwork laid with Angel in s3, the Amends dynamic flipped here where is Angel talking Faith through how she can carry on through the guilt of everything she's done, the follow through of Angel as Faith's murder sponsor as in Consequences and Enemies, there's a lot exchanges I really like in this episode but one of them in particular was the "Right. And you've been doing this for a hundred years! I'm not gonna make it through the next ten minutes." "So make it through the next five, the next minute." which was just before the other of my favourites of "Faith, this isn't about Buffy" before Angel proceeds to get sidetracked about Buffy.

Speaking of I really enjoyed Buffy in this episode it's like it feels there's a different level of range given to her when she's not the protagonist I dunno? Like she's still clearly Buffy but because of the way that the framing is that this is Angel the Series not Buffy the Vampire the Slayer, it's different it feels like a fresh direction. Anyway "Apologise and I'll beat you to death," "Go ahead," Iconic. Along with another of those Angel Buffy communications failures coupled with the Angel is Faith so of course he's on her side she has to be worthy of redemption because otherwise he isn't versus Buffy is too close and too hurt to what Faith's done that she can't be (which I think is a neat contrast to Superstar's lower stakes and that Johnathan obviously isn't as important). Anyway Faith and Buffy's talk on the roof is so good with Buffy so hurt by Faith and Faith so desperate to appease her before she does snap and defends herself when Buffy says "but nobody else has ever made me a victim," which you could read as her just deflecting with a my life was hard too approach (I'll admit I have vague memories of discourse about this along these lines) but that's not really how Faith deflects she deflects away from her trauma rather than with it you know even when she uses it like "You tried to gut me, Blondie" its more playful, so I'm reading as her reaching the actual instrospection that Angel's been guiding her to, she's not so much deflecting she's opening up and being honest especially closing with "Just tell me how to make it better," and how she ends up in jail voluntarily (which I guess this means this is the last I'll be seeing of Faith until the first time I ever saw Faith which I think was in S4 of Angel (That's soooo far away)). Also really enjoyed those closing barbs between Angel and Buffy.

Sanctuary sidenotes, its absolutely not intended but knowing what I know about the future of Lilah and Wesley's trajectories with eachother its fun that they had to back to back handshake deals Lilah with Assassin number 2 and Wesley with the Council's fixers. And while great for Cordelia getting that paid time off, get out of that situation, she's probably gonna come back to an Angel Investigations with the power cut off, Angel and Wesley aren't gonna be finding paying jobs and even if they luck into it they're not gonna chase them up to get paid, it'll be way more work for her to get everything back shipshape. And I'll admit my first thought with Wesley throwing that syringe into Weatherby's (I think) neck was "Really?" before instantly realising they had actually set it up with the darts and resignedly admitting I gotta give it to Wesley (Then he instantly said "180" and my goodwill was squandered).

The one thing that I don't really like about Five by Five and Sanctuary is sort of a nitpick but also like I don't like how it rewrites Faith and Wesley's history. Like I get it he's the only one who can take advantage of such a dynamic so it makes sense they'd change things up to give it to him, but like Wesley's not really Faith's Watcher. They try to use it like Giles was Buffy's and Wesley was Faith's but it wasn't like that, Faith had three Watchers, she had Giles a lot longer than she had Wesley and she had Diana (presumably) even longer than that. Even Gwendolyne Post had arguably more of an impact on her as a Watcher than Wesley did. Like Wesley managed to have one sentence with her before she killed a guy and went rogue, he was Buffy's Watcher for longer than he was Faith's. And like that's not to diminish things he was bad for her and handled a lot poorly that was the final straw in pushing her into darkness but I think it's enough that he messed up that they didn't need to say he was this persistent source of all failures with handling Faith when he was really just the latest in a chain that makes the way they frame their dynamic across the episodes feel a bit unearned. Also it kinda frames Giles' dynamic as Watcher as a bit toothless sanding it down y'know like he was the good one and didn't make mistakes when he did I like that about him and Buffy he's not perfect.

Okay so rapid fire other episodes because I've been typing for too long. Where the Wild Things Are?????????????? Buffy and Riley have so much sex the house becomes haunted????? Good for her??? I think this was the wildest premise in a fair while? But anyway I was kinda expecting from the previously it'd be like a movement forwards for the big three relationships of BuffyRiley, WillowTara and XanderAnya but it was more of a holding position by the end? Fairly concretely putting Willow and Tara into the same type of relationship rather than just magic subtext was appreciated though which goes in with New Moon Rising which was good, they really sell the Oz return great with its impact on Willow it has some good setup for a rift between Riley and Buffy with him having that kneejerk reaction against Willow being with a werewolf (I assume Riley/Buffy is not long for this world, I know she needs at least one series of Spike and I think there's some guy who's gimmick is that he's just a normal guy?). Initiative are dangerously close to having something interesting ne done with them, with moving once more towards the "hey isn't it kinda messed up the military have a bunch of demons in cages underground?" rather than just be there so I assume Adam's gonna open all the cages so they die via demons and we don't have to think about a way Buffy could deal with a government demon program.

I think Eternity is my favourite Angel episode that doesn't rely on Buffy or Faith I think each of the three acts are great and the fact that the premise of the episode only works because of the core concept of Angel really adds to it, like a lot of other episodes you could pluck out and put into a different show it'd broadly be the same, but this one directly plays with the moment of true happiness aspect in a way that it can't really be an episode of another show. Really enjoyed Rebecca Lowell's dynamic with Angel and like I say with the three acts of, Rebecca's being bodyguarded by Angel, Rebecca wants to be turned into a Vampire, Angel gets a moment of happiness via drugging with the undercurrent in the first two thirds of if Angel and her really do hit it off he might lose his soul (which obviously he won't but its still neat). I do think the Angelus performance was a bit hammy (at first I thought it was deliberate because he was playing it up just to frighten her). Oh yeah and I enjoyed the line of "What are the odds he'll find it with an actress" given that Angel/Cordelia is coming at some point.

Oh yeah also I noticed on the episode synopses that it says the finale of S4 is Buffy facing The Cheese Man? Now S1 had this issue where the synopsis for Prophecy Girl was just a different synopsis for Out of Sight, Out of Mind so that could be happening here as well but The Cheese Man? Adam buried.

Also I haven't said it lately but I really enjoy this correspondence, love chatting with you like this, I honestly don't think I'd be enjoying the show to the extreme level that I am if not for these updates of hey this is the stuff that I loved!

Superstar is to TYG/Who Are You as Earshot is to Enemies. Imo. Post Local-Girl Ruins Everything episodes that are kind of all about Faith despite her not being in them. Also hard agree, the shrimp bit always gets me.

(also i dropped the ball when we were talking about the body swap episodes by not linking you to the absolute very best fic that's tackled a different (but still entirely satisfying!) version of those episodes je me souviens by zulu. okay back to the rest of the reply)

FIVE BY FIVE AND SANCTUARY ARE SO MEATY. Top tier Faith episodes, much to dig into, you already highlighted a lot of what I like about these episodes. Just an absolutely brilliant use of the crossover potential of the shows. I think it makes sense that Faith and Buffy are too close to each other's trauma (and especially with the body swap and all the violation that entails being so recent) it would take a third party to diffuse things. Faith's rock bottom coinciding with her hurting Buffy past the point of Buffy wanting anything to do with her both makes sense and is a great opportunity for Angel to actually succeed in getting through to her. It literally took until the options were 'die or try to do better' for Faith to be able to accept that help, but that helped to sell it for me.

The ways Angel, Buffy, and Faith all project onto each other are always fascinating to me, especially the times that puts them in conflict with each other. So much of btvs s3 was Faith trying to become Angel(us) so she could mean what he means to Buffy, and these two episodes are Faith actually doing it, but in a way she never anticipated. If that makes sense. Like her being so off the map that she needs his explicit guidance to figure out how to being a path to redemption felt right for me. Also in funny/fucked up Angel/Faith parallels - the fact that every single thing they do kind of IS about Buffy even when it shouldn't be. I think there's something kind of bittersweet about how that used to be a thing Faith resented about Angel, but it ended up as one of the other things she related to him about. Idk. Their whole relationship is so fucked up and good, I love it.

Agree re: Wesley. It would have been good if they'd pushed that angle more in s3 if this was where they were going - but I think Wesley was honestly meant to stand in more as a symbol for the council at large/authority figures in general who Faith felt exploited/failed by. The torture scene is so fucked up and dark - I gotta admit I love her in the middle of a downward spiral. "Brings out the mother in me" as she's literally pressing on his wounds always gets me. Jesus christ, Faith.

"Demons in cages underground" also highlights one of the biggest ways the Initiative fails for me as a faction - like that is SUCH an ethical horror show. The existence and operation of the Initiative feels like it should change the way the whole universe of the show operates but it... kinda doesn't really? I would nitpick less if they weren't such a big deal all season.

Eternity is definitely one of the stronger episodes in ATS s1 imo. Where the Wild Things are.... is not that for BTVS s4 but that's okay. Points for sheer whackness, I guess.

Anyway dude yeah - Adam's got nothing on The Cheese Man. You're not ready.

I've also been enjoying subletting my blog for your btvs/ats watch updates! very fun for me! you are, of course, welcome to come off anon at any point but no pressure - enjoying our silly little correspondence either way <3

#replies #Anonymous #buffy anon #long post

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