Stargate Atlantis | Adrift S4.Ep1

Radek: Yes! Yeah, I thought you'd be happy.

Rodney: Happy?! There's actually a chance we might make it through this thing! I am ecstatic!

Some people : I hate Rodney McKay, he's such an asshole.

Also Rodney : *Sacrifice himself to save everyone on Atlantis in The Long Sleep* *Use an ancient personal shield to lead an energy-eating creature through the gate* *Put himself between Kolya and Elizabeth to protect his leader* *Is ready to let a Wraith feed on him to save his sister* *Admit to Radek he is one of the most brilliant scientist he ever worked with*

Fic Idea Adoption!

i have way too many ideas for fics and i know i won't ever get around to writing them all so i'm putting some ideas up for adoption!! i may or may not write these eventually, but they're too good of ideas to leave sitting in my notes app forever, so i'm releasing them to the void! anyone and everyone is welcome to use them, and feel free to be as ambiguous with the prompts as you want! no particular order but nsfw ideas are at the bottom for anyone who wants to avoid them!

(if you do use any of these, i would love to read the fic!! you definitely do not have to but please feel free to send me anything you write off this list!!)

-john takes rodney to earths moon

-john and rodney find the ancient equivalent of speed. they do Everything

-au where ronon gets earth to repeal dadt bc john tells him it's why he can't be with rodney and ronon goes I Must Fix This (he enlists teyla and lorne and maybe cadman)

-rodney asks ronon to go with john to earth (outcast coda)

-rodney goes on bill nye saves the world after stargate declassification

-evans biggest fear is having to shoot john (and maybe getting a promotion bc of it?) and john finds out

-rodney’s ‘torture too hideous and intimate to recount’ is him being tortured, just for them to realize that torturing his team is a better way to break him

-teyla living out ‘the chosen one’ trope

-what happens to sora after the eye

-au where meredith(female!rodney) comes to atlantis instead of rod and not only is rodney horribly disturbed, he’s furious (and strangely confused) as to why everyone apparently likes him more as a woman

-todd is weirdly obsessed with this strange human he meets, and is determined to get closer to him

-the team is most excited about catching up with todd when they get the confirmation atlantis is going back to pegasus

-everyone complains about rodney’s moods bc no one can complain about the infinitely worse in every way sheppard bad moods, that make everyone on the base wish they were on a hive ship being eaten by two wraith at once

-au where ronon ends up on athos at the same time the wraith come and he sneaks through the gate with the intention of just sneaking away on the next planet but whoops it’s atlantis (ronon pov)

-rodney keeps a memorial for every single scientist lost in his lab and radek shows it to new scientists who start complaining about rodney not caring and risking their lives

-reaper au where’s he’s fed the fuck up with these two stupid men who never actually die when they’re supposed to and it’s more annoying than anything now bc he still needs to show up

-au carson comes to atlantis and is HORRIFIED by becketts retrovirus research and the hoffan drug bc “does the hippocratic oath mean NOTHING here???”

-au where rodney can’t admit to himself what john means to him, until something happens that brings all the alternate rodney’s that have lost their johns to atlantis, and they all fall apart when they see john alive, and john and rodney have to have a Conversation (mcshep? maybe ambiguous? idk yet)

-rodney sees john as three separate entities: the Colonel, who is Professional Important Official Man; sheppard, who is his friend/team lead that he hangs out with and goes on missions with; and john, who he’s always seeming to have very intimate moments with that make him question a lot of how he feels

-early days in the city, elizabeth is sick of the marines shitting on the scientists for not being tough and the scientists for shitting on the marines for not being smart so she makes them try to solve a fake crisis from the other side and everyone is like aww shit this is harder than it looks

-that thing where tough men pretend they don’t care much about someone but then the person gets hurt and Tough Guy go a little feral and then holds them close and whisper pet names (sweetheart, baby, darling, etc) but it’s john and/or ronon after rodney gets injured

-the more important something is to john, the harder it is for him to talk about it, and rodney starts to realize how hard it is for john to talk about what rodney means to him

-a bunch of au sheppards get brought to atlantis and one on them is terrified of flying

-rodney has always said biology was beneath him, but then ford almost died, and was… different, from the wraith. and rodney knew he had to find a way to help ford, maybe find a way to fix his mental problems while keeping the physical benefits. rodney and carson find a way to save ford and sheppard is so thankful he kisses them both

nsfw ideas:

-ronon suggests some planets for trading when they get low on supplies that have an interesting trade system. it seems too good to be true and they wonder why telya hasn't taken them until they find out that they trade goods for sex

-au where john is hired as a spy for atlantis and he seduces people in pegasus to get intel for the city

-sometimes rodney just grabs john (by the hair, throat, back of the neck, chin, etc) and asks who he belongs to and john instantly melts

-rodney decides to be a tease on a mission and teyla and ronon think mckay is just really pissing sheppard off when he pulls mckay away for “privacy” but really he’s just super horny and wants to fuck (or, teyla and ronon don’t realize that their fighting is foreplay)

Stargate-Atlantis S5: E15 Remnants

You have to understand that Inquisition had a much bigger impact on Sheppard than he admitted. His people, Atlantis, were on trial because of the choices he made. I think it brought to the surface a lot of the same feelings seen in Doppelganger. Sheppard struggles with feeling like he's the biggest threat to his people.

Rodney connects aloneness with Sheppard. Sad sigh.

Woolsey is lonely, Sheppard is alone, and Rodney is cut off from the praise of his peers by the confidentiality of his work. Woolsey is isolated in his leadership, Sheppard is isolated in his warriorness, and Rodney is isolated in his genius. They're each overcome by their own strengths and weaknesses. Woolesy is easily overcome by a friendly, kind woman because he wants a friend. Rodney is overcome by praise because he wants to be acknowledged. Sheppard is overcome by isolation and torture because he believes he's the source of danger for Atlantis. This episode is a weird reflection of Home in season one. Sheppard figured that out first because things were too good. He doesn't figure things out here because he believes they should be this bad.

Sheppard tells Kolya to go to hell, so Kolya takes him there. It's so hard bouncing between the three because Sheppard is enduring so much more than Woolsey and McKay. Woolsey and McKay 'demons' help them. Just. It just hurts how broken Sheppard is.

Kolya: You can tolerate more than any man I've ever known. Why is that?

Sheppard covers his fear with a snarky remark.

Kolya: You're here in the Pegasus Galaxy to protect your people, and half the time, you can't even do that. That's what drives you, your past failures.

Kolya tells Sheppard he can't protect his people, they're as good as dead. It doesn't matter if he holds out.

Kolya's monolog is basically our insight into Sheppard's own mind. He thinks nothing he's done, that there's nothing he can do to keep his people safe. That the bad guys will always find a way to hurt them, and they'll use him to do it.

When Radek compliments Rodney, I just started crying because Rodney's all beaming while Sheppard is tortured. And it just makes you realize people can be hurting, and even their closest friends don't know it.

My heart when Kolya chops off Sheppard's hand.

😭😭😭

What is Sheppard running away from? His empty life on earth?

Kolya accused Sheppard of being easy to break, but he didn't break. They had to cut his freaking hand off. This is just another echo in Sheppard's own mind that he's not being strong enough for his people. All this was to find out what kind of people they are and see if they can be trusted. They need to keep Sheppard busy while they worked, and this horror is what Sheppard subconsciously chose.

Kolya: You torture yourself every day, John. But, in this case, it was your mind manifesting your deepest fears. You are the architect of your own self-deception.

😭😭😭The aliens apologize for what happened to Sheppard earning one of his "gee thanks" faces.

I love how, just like Doppelganger, this ends with Sheppard surrounded by friends. In light of this episode, the last really painful Sheppard episode is Vegas, the solitary man. Before Atlantis, Sheppard was very alone. I think he fears being alone again, but he's not. Rodney knows him so well, even down to the gum he likes. Then you have the final episode where Sheppard does literally save all of his remaining people with their help, as always. I know it's subtle, but ending with Sheppard and Company saving earth in a final huge battle is healing Sheppard. Yes, I wish they could have done more. A whole season of healing is what this character needed, but I'll take what I can get.

This may also be why I feel the need to rewatch this whole stupid show as soon as I finish it. I want to see Sheppard healed. But you start it over, and he gets broken all over. Really, he comes to Atlantis broken. Those soul-fractures get healed, and he gets broken in whole new ways. Why am I addicted to breaking characters???

ok buckle up because I'm going to go on a Stargate Atlantis gush so long I'm not going to bother turning it pink

this series is EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN NEEDING ok ok listen yes it has scary monsters and fight scenes and blowing stuff up BUT it also has substantial fluff

we get to see the characters making a home in small ways from a favourite food in the cafeteria to rc car races in an unused hallway

THEY CALL THEMSELVES A FAMILY THATS MY LIFELINE A FOUND FAMILY CALLING THEMSELVES A FAMILY

the words "we can't tear this family apart" in life threatening situations give me life and they are said a bunch of times

the creators hate killing characters off as much as we hate losing them so a lot of mc deaths get "well, actually"d in a way that made sense (such as getting really upset that my fave Carson died only to have his clone be rescued half a season later and be reintegrated into the mc circulation)

and the series finale was AMAZING. spoiler alert skip this paragraph if you don't wanna read details about the finale. it gave a reasonably hefty threat for a finale, but everyone survived (other fave Ronan got well-actually'd and I'm thankful because he's the teddy bear protector and I would've cried) and found a home. atlantis is on earth, the family is together, and it ends with the well-loved all mc's are on a balcony overlooking a beautiful view and saying that theyre each other's home and there are always going to be other adventures. - end finale spoilers -

even the bad guys are personified. you mightve seen my post about Todd, and Todd is The Original Funnyman. this guy has the best sense of humour in the whole show. then there's Michael, and you feel for him. the replicators... uhh... yeah most of the replicators are unremarkable personality-wise, but hey they're robots.

now for mc's. this is a no-rodney mckay-hate blog, so if you say anything hateful about him I'll stab u. yes he's arrogant and a know-it-all and he thinks he's better than everyone and has the social skills of a stale cracker BUT he has GROWTH and is slowly RECOGNIZING AND TRYING TO TREAT PEOPLE BETTER and he's My Boi so fite me 9/10

Sheppard is hilarious and is responsible for the awful placeholder names for individual wraith. he has serious Burnt Out Gifted Kid Vibes and is definitely smarter than he lets on. atlantis crew is definitely the first Family he's had and feels safe with. I love him 11/10

Teyla is awesome and would absolutely kill for her adopted earth family. also turns out to be Best Mum 10/10

Ronan. my beloved puppy Ronan. played by the absolute unit that is Jason mamoa. he is a man of few words and many guns. atlantis crew saved him and he's the last of his people and now the base is His Home. Sheppard calls him "chewie" affectionately and Ronan smiles every time. 20/10 I would absolutely feel safe with him around

Dr Carson beckett. a Scotsman who will even try to heal his enemies. besties with Rodney McKay and keeps him in check. he's so lovable and sweet 11/10 his clone goes away for the Pegasus galaxy version of doctors without borders 9/10 I'm just glad he's back

Radek zelenka. his most common subtitle is [mutters in Czech] he's so soft and squishy I love him. he shares a braincell with Rodney and they finish each other's sentences it's like they're very competitive twins 10/10

Elizabeth weir. not quite the Mum but definitely the Older Sister In Charge. I miss you so much. rip 11/10

there are a lot more that I love but I'm just gonna leave it here. you should absolutely go watch it.

All About Trust

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/HzpGTwB

by WildMoonFiction4Ever

Rodney is mad that no one trusts him after Destroying 2/3rds of The Solar System. So when Atlantis is in trouble Rodney steps up to save the day by going to get a heavily guarded ZPM.

Words: 694, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M

Characters: Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Radek Zelenka, Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, Elizabeth Weir

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Additional Tags: Post-Episode: s02e06 Trinity (Stargate Atlantis), Hurt/Comfort, Self-Sacrifice, POV Rodney McKay, Hurt Rodney McKay, Trust Issues, Pining John Sheppard, John Sheppard Needs a Hug

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/HzpGTwB

I must ask about Angst Fest, and I'm also v curious about Perpetual Feeling

Angst Fest:

Okay, the basic rundown is this is the fic I work on when I'm feeling like I want the world to burn?!?! So, John Sheppard has Abandonment issues and its set post-canon where Atlantis keeps getting picked clean and everyone is leaving, because they're leaving John behind and its just him, Radek, Amelia and Atlantis. bc Rodney went on a speaking tour to try and pave the way to declassification and John feels alone bc of an assortment of issues.

And at some point an AI is activated and the Lucian Alliance attacks but Atlantis saves them and peaces out like the dolphins @ the start of hitchhikers guide, taking John and no one else. So NATURALLY most of Atlantis residents are like fuck this no, and go after him bc just bc John feels alone doesn't mean he is.

“I’m going to go and fucking find him, whatever it takes. Because that’s what John would do for me, it’s what John would do for everyone and I’m not leaving him out there,” Rodney said, throwing his arm to the side. “If I have to build a fucking ship myself I will.”

And they find him eventually but he's all sorts of fucked up and that's about where I've gotten to the fic but I love it bc I'm also working on a John & Jennifer friendship where they're kinda assholes to each other but it works.

John clenched his jaw. “When did you find your spine?” “Right around the time you lost your mind,” Keller replied, glaring at him. “You’re not stupid. You know what’s at stake and so I’m willing to bet you want to argue with me right now because you don’t want to admit to the fact that you’re getting old. And since I’ve known you, you’ve always thrown yourself head first into danger without a care to yourself as long as everyone else is fine. And now that you can’t do that, I bet you’re wondering what good you are to anyone if you can’t die for them?”

Also Jennifer is letting her "ready for me to play with your insides" creep factor out and its fun.

Keller nodded, grabbing the folder she had been carrying and flipped it open, scanning the charts. “I wasn’t old enough to do surgeries when I graduated so I went into PT for two years,” she said before raising her head and smiling. “Ready to get articulated?”

Perpetual Feeling:

It's my HP Harry/Draco Soulmates fic. The basic premise is a red string of rate where red string means you've got a soulmate, gray means they've been kissed and broken means the soulmate is dead and Draco had a gray line, and then it broke but it's not broken anymore and its slowly turning red so he is Confused.

It's set way post canon and Draco is a history teacher because he's not allowed to do potions and no one in the magical world would teach him so he started his studies in the magical world and so he's better. So he gets a job at Hogwarts and Harry is there teaching charms bc he doesn't want to fight anymore and its just a super sweet slowish burn romance that I need to edit and figure out if I wanna post or not.

And Neville is basically just giggling like a madman the entire time

McGonagall paused then and then seemed to pin Draco and Potter with a gaze. “I am sure Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy would love to volunteer for that job.” Longbottom let out a snort which he covered with his hand quickly, but it didn’t hide the sound of his chuckles. Potter paused in the middle of taking a drink before he nodded. “Sure thing, sounds fun, right Malfoy?” Everyone turned to look at him, and Draco nodded. “Sure, it’ll be good to see the students. I always did love the carriage rides, and hopefully they do as well.”

Before I Breathe

ao3 link

Hearing the crew’s frantic shouting, muffled by walls and the roar of water, Carson abandoned all hope of rescue. And as the screams were silenced, one by one, Carson knew death to be imminent. Or; In Weir’s original timeline, Carson drowns. He has roughly five minutes until then.

A Carson Beckett-centric fic set in the alternate universe Weir detailed in season 1 episode 15 “Before I Sleep.”

Fic under the cut.

Medically speaking, Carson knew the quickest way to die.

As water started to burst through the door’s seams, facts rose to mind. The average person can hold their breath somewhere between 30 seconds and 2 minutes. That, of course, doesn’t account for the training that every Atlantis candidate endured. Carson guessed that the people here with him could hold their breath for longer. Because he wasn’t alone, was he? He was flanked by two scientists whose names he didn’t know, names that he’d been looking forward to learning.

He’d been guiding people onto the ships. Radek had sent him to retrieve two stragglers in a close corridor, so he’d run without a second thought. Carson never anticipated the doors to slam shut behind him. Never anticipated the walls to start cracking. Never anticipated being trapped. But he was. They all were.

Hearing the crew’s frantic shouting, muffled by walls and the roar of water, Carson abandoned all hope of rescue. And as those screams were silenced, one by one, Carson knew death to be imminent.

Which brought him back to the method.

He could bend down and take a sharp inhale of water, going unconscious before something more unpleasant could happen—before the walls imploded and showered them in shrapnel, or the blunt force of waves cracked their bones. It would be swift. Effective. It would allow him to bypass the guilt he felt right now. The hippocratic oath may have stopped him from doing harm to others, but this was an altogether different story. He was dying no matter what.

The scientist beside him hyperventilated. “Oh my God. We’re dead.”

Carson snapped out of his mind. Right. He wasn’t alone. That changed things.

He couldn’t give up just yet.

The freezing water was up to their calves, now, and rising fast. Carson grabbed the panicking scientist’s arm. “Lad, what’s your name?”

The scientist’s breath slowed ever-so-slightly. “Brendan,” he choked out. “Gall.”

Carson looked back at the other scientist, and said, as calmly as he could muster, “And yours?”

“Eleanor Johnson.” She looked as distressed as Brendan.

“Eleanor. It’s great to meet you. You too, Brendan.” Carson used his other arm to grab her shoulder. In hospice, provide physical contact, he could hear his textbooks saying. So he did.

“When are they going to open the doors?!” Brendan said. “We’re so close to the ships!”

“Rodney’s working on it,” Carson said, injecting as much warmth as he could muster into his words. “He’s doing everything he can.” It wasn’t a lie. Rodney was doing everything he could. It’s just that he was focusing on those who could be saved. With the doors locked, the three of them were excluded from that number.

The water rose to their waists now. Goosebumps rose on Carson’s arms.

“I’m cold,” Brendan said, voice wavering.

“Oh, come ‘ere,” Carson said, pulling him in close. “You too, Eleanor.” As Brendan’s shoulders started to shake, Carson kept holding him, contributing what little body heat he had to offer. As Eleanor leaned in, he kept a soothing hand on her back.

The other screams finally went silent. Only the roar remained.

Eleanor started to sob, her tears mixing with the saltwater that surrounded them. “I don’t want to die,” she repeated, over and over.

“Neither do I, love,” Carson soothed.

This was what Carson had signed up for when he joined the expedition. Not so quickly, but he’d signed up knowing this was a possibility. And as Carson looked around at the city, at the lives by his side, he didn’t know if it was bloody worth it. He forced the thought away—if he thought too hard, then he’d start crying, too.

He continued, “You’ve done a good thing, here. You were brave to come out here to this galaxy, you know? You both were so brave. And I’m sure whatever God’s above will appreciate that.”

Eleanor laughed, hysterical. “Brave? You’re the one who came to get us.”

“I’m sure you would have done the same.”

They started to tread water, keeping their heads up above the surface. It took all of his willpower not to shove his head under the water and breathe in, get it over with... After all, things were only going to get worse. But he didn’t. Whether or not this voyage meant something didn’t matter—he would never know if it was worth it. What mattered now was that these were his patients. He was a doctor. That, at least, he could be until the end.

The ceiling rapidly approached. “Do me a favor, you both, and take a nice long breath of air,” Carson yelled over the waves, his voice strained. “Give Rodney time to open the doors. I’ll be right here with you, okay?” They nodded, hysterical, following his instructions.

Carson took one large gulp of air, and then it overtook them.

They all sunk to the floor.

Carson may not have been the most athletic person on the base, but he was a strong swimmer. On a fishing boat, you have to be, just in case you’re swept off the deck. And he’d been quite often. He could hold his breath longer than most… certainly longer than these two.

Brendan went limp first. 50 seconds. Perfectly average. He gave his arm a squeeze before letting go. The body drifted downward, leaving Carson to focus all his attention on Eleanor.

She lasted longer. As her eyes fluttered shut, Carson gave her one last comforting smile. She was forced to inhale, so Carson held her head, feeling convulsions wrack her body. Then she stilled. 2 minutes. Well done.

Now…

Now, he was alone.

Without anybody around him, Carson no longer had a reason to stay awake.

Wasting time on emotion was useless: he couldn’t even sob. So he forced away any thought of his family, his mum, and looked at the ancient walls around him. Underwater, they looked beautiful. Technology made into an art. Rodney would have liked to pick this all apart until it was just atoms, Carson thought with a smile.

But he couldn’t bear that being his last sight. After all, this wasn’t his home. Earth was.

So he imagined himself in a lake instead of Atlantis. He’d just fallen off of a boat... Soon, his friends would pull him up out of the water. But until then, he imagined fish.

Carson took a deep breath.

The elderly Weir continued, “...Because there was no failsafe the first time. Atlantis remained on the ocean floor. The shield completely collapsed. Water came crashing in, flooding every room in the city.” She looked at Carson and Aiden. Her voice was almost clinical as she spoke, “You both drowned while attempting to get our people into ships.”

Unsettled, Carson leaned back. His thoughts turned to the image of him trapped underwater... He shook them off, refocusing.

Suddenly, he realized he’d been holding his breath. He released it, breathing in.

Season 3: Episode 6

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/yLICctH

by Frodobelle

Cedric Snape has brought the Dark Lord from Rod McKay and Cedric "Charlie" Snape's universe, and it's up to Devanye's friends and the Golden Trio to come up with a plan to defeat Voldemort (again), rescue Carson Beckett's clone, and capture Michael before he can cause any more damage than he already has. Two billion people have already died because Cedric convinced Michael and Carson that they needed to for the timeline to remain intact. Can they save the billions more that could if the Hoffan virus spreads to all the Wraith culling grounds?

Words: 2740, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Series: Part 25 of Atlantis: A Monster Crossover

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling, Stargate Atlantis, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Severus Snape, Carson Beckett, Elizabeth Weir, Rodney McKay, Jeanie Miller, Minerva McGonagall, John Sheppard, Clone Carson Beckett, Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass, Scorpius Malfoy, Delphi (Harry Potter), Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid, Voldemort (Harry Potter), Evan Lorne, Charity Burbage, Ellia (Stargate), Radek Zelenka, Kaleb Miller, Madison Miller, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Legolas Greenleaf

Relationships: Carson Beckett/Devanye Hansen/Severus Snape, Ellia/Radek Zelenka, Charity Burbage/Evan Lorne

Additional Tags: Asexual Character, Polyamory, Bipolar Disorder

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/yLICctH

Website: Archives of Our Own

Series: Not In Kansas Anymore

Author: LitGal

Fandom{s}: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, NCIS

Summary: No species is all good or all evil. The tok'ra like to believe they are the "good" side of the onac race--the symbiotes who developed into the goa'uld. However, the tok'ra never mention Shamash or Samas, the ancient Sumerian god who was really one of the early queens. She (or really Samas prefers to be called a he) remembers the onac before the corruption of Ra, and he tried to lead his people back to a life in the water. He failed. However, thousands of years later, one gunnery sergeant on a suicide mission stumbled into a South American river, and Samas found he had another chance. The SGC and later Atlantis gave Samas a chance to save his people and make a few changes for the better in this universe. Samas once allowed Ra to take everything away from him. This time Samas is going to make sure his people are strong enough to stand up to any enemy. And to serve that end, he's going to make sure that those that he trusts--Tony, John, Rodney, Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, Major Teldy, Radek, Miko, Kyli and others--have the power to combat anyone who tries to take Atlantis from them.

Pairings: Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Number of Stories in series: 7

Status: Not Complete

they’re beauty, they’re grace, they’re two chaotic asshole bisexuals in outer space

Stargate-Atlantis S5: E19 & 20 Vegas & Enemy at the Gate FINAL THOUGHTS

I refuse to look at these last two episodes without my hope-colored glasses on. So, just be aware.

In the other universe, Sheppard's personal struggles have him isolated, solitary, alone. And yet, he still courageously sacrifices himself for the good of others, even a world he had basically rejected, and that had rejected him.

In the final episode, Sheppard fights to the last to save Earth WITH his friends. He's not alone and he lives. Yes, he's broken, bloody, bruised to the very depth of his soul, but he's not a Solitary Man who has been rejected, and he hasn't rejected the world. Atlantis—and thus, Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, Keller, Carson, Weir, Carter, Lorne, Woolsey, Radek, and even Todd—has kept him from the brink of self-isolation and self-destruction. That's what friendship does. It keeps us from our worst self.

Also, looking at the show as a whole, Solitary-John sacrifices himself alone for humanity as a whole. Our John lives for and with his friends. It is the constant poking and need and willingness to speak of Rodney, the "I always have your back" of Ronon, the calm big-sisterness of Teyla that keeps John from the brink. Alone, John is completely overcome by self-destruction. You can sense his welcoming of death. With friends, John stays in the fight and has a will to live because he wants to live with and for them.

Without friends, Sheppard is eaten alive with despair. With friends, Sheppard clings to hope, maybe he's only just clinging, but he's still clinging to hope. (How very Tolkien of him.)

In Vegas, Sheppard is the Solitary Man. In the Final episode he is the Warrior: “Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.”

— Heraclitus

As a Solitary Man, Sheppard dies. As the Man in Black, Sheppard succeeded in his mission and lived. In both cases, he willingly put his own life in the line. But only in one did he win and LIVE. The one with friends and a home.

I Got You

A/N: I watched Echoes the other night and frankly, I just needed to write this. Sort of an unofficial sequel to The Road to Nowhere Leads to Me.

They’re almost back to Atlantis from the mainland when Rodney realizes that maybe something’s a bit off with Sheppard – er… John (and he has to remind himself to start calling Shep—John by his first name because this whole… thing between this is still relatively new and it’s probably not social acceptable for one to refer to one’s boyfriend by last name only). No one would ever really call him chatty, but this level of quietness is almost unsettling, especially when Rodney tries to goad him into some gentle bantering and he’s just not having it. “What’s wrong with you?” He asks finally as the city is just coming into view. “Huh?” Rodney squints, mouth turning down in a frown. “I certainly didn’t stutter, Colonel.” Maybe that’ll get his attention.

He waits a moment, and then two. Nope. Nada. The lights are on but nobody’s home. “… John.”

At that, John lifts a hand and presses the heel of it against one of his eyes, wincing and Rodney notices for the first time how not well the other actually looks. “I’ve just… got this killer headache that won’t go away,” he says and it actually sounds pained in a way that Rodney isn’t quite used to from him. He watches as John squints at the city in the distance. “Maybe I should take over?” For a split second, he thinks John might be considering it before he shakes his head. “Nah, s’alright. I know how much you struggle to fly in a straight line.” There’s the smallest hint of teasing in his voice but Rodney doesn’t rise to the challenge because it’s such a weak attempt on John’s part that he knows he’d absolutely assassinate John with a comeback and where’s the fun in that? “Are you sure? Because, because I’ve been in one of these things when it’s crashed into the water, if you remember correctly, and I really have no intention of repeating that, so if you aren’t feeling well, I’d rather just--.” “Rodney,” John says and now, there’s a trace of a bite to his tone. Wow. Hostile. “Okay, I’m just saying--.” “I know,” John says. “But it’s fine. I’ve got it.” Rodney resigns himself to believing that for about a split second until he glances over again and notices the blood dripping from John’s nose. “John--.” “Dammit, Rodney! I said I’m--.” And whatever lie John was about to tell dies on his lips as he slumps over, head smacking the console. Immediately, Rodney leaps into action, grabbing John before he slips out of the pilot’s chair to ease him down onto the floor, his head lulling to the side sickeningly. “Jumper 1, this is Atlantis, come in. Your course has drastically shifted.” Radek’s voice comes through the comm system in the jumper and Rodney suddenly realizes that no one is, you know, actually piloting. “I need a medical team to the Jumper Bay. Sheppard is down, I repeat, Sheppard is down.” He scrambles into the pilot’s chair and manages to jerk it upwards approximately three point five seconds before the jumper crashes into the ocean. “Rodney?” It’s Elizabeth’s voice now, and she sounds about as worried as Rodney feels. “Carson’s here. What happened?” “Can’t talk now! Trying to fly and not, you know, crash and send us both to our deaths in the horrifically vast ocean. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” “Rodney!” “Just have them standing by!” He cuts off the comm system and glances down at John who has not yet regained consciousness. “Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.” It becomes his mantra as he somehow manages to navigate the jumper back to the city and into the bay. He barely has time to lower the door before a med team is swarming in and before Rodney has a chance to so much as breathe, they’re gone, John with them. There’s a small bit of blood on the floor from where John was laying and Rodney has to work very hard not to throw up. ---- It’s dark in the hallway, save for the faint blue glow emanating from the center of the wall closest to him. He reaches out, hand pressing against it and he can feel the thrum of hurt intensifying, adding to what’s already there in his head. He staggers at the force of it, drops to his knees and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes in an attempt to stave off the pounding of his head. But this isn’t his hurt, he realizes after a moment. It’s hers, and that thought alone is enough to force him back to his feet, hand reaching out to touch that blue light again. This time, he feels an almost burning heat fanning out from the center of his hand as the blue expands and he watches as it begins to creep across the wall, almost as if it’s beckoning him to follow. He’s never been good at following orders and he has the record to prove it, but he finds his feet moving, seemingly of their own accord, allowing the glow to lead him down the darkened hallway for what seems like forever until it stops, finally, at a room he doesn’t quite recognize. “Why am I here?” Because I need your help, she answers

back, the words cool and gentle within his mind. Find me, John Sheppard. Before it’s too late. “Before what’s too late? What are you trying to tell me?” But she’s already receding from his mind and all he’s left with is a light so bright that penetrates the darkness as John opens his eyes. --- Rodney’s there when John finally comes to under the bright lights of the infirmary. “Oh thank God,” he says as he slumps back into the chair, running a hand across his forehead. “Far be it from me to say I told you so, but--.” He doesn’t get a chance to finish before John is sitting up so quickly that it makes Rodney a bit dizzy, kicking the blankets off of his legs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He stands up, pressing a hand to John’s shoulder to ease him back down onto the mattress and Ronon is on the other side of the bed, doing the same. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” The Satedan asks in his natural rumble. “I have to help her,” John says and Rodney suddenly finds himself a bit miffed at that. “Help who?” He asks and if he sounds a little pissy, he thinks he’s probably allowed because you know, he’s the one been sitting at John’s bedside for the last several hours, worried very much about the possibility of brain damage and now that he’s awake, the first thing he mentions is some second rate harlot and--. “The city,” he rasps and he grabs Ronon’s wrist, trying to force it off of him. “Something’s wrong with the city.” “What? The city is fine,” Rodney says, but he’s reaching for his tablet anyway, pulling up the city schematics to scan over quickly, searching for any indication that something was not right. “See?” He says, and he turns the tablet to face John so he can see for himself. “The back up teams cleaned everything up nicely, there’s absolutely nothing that would indicate--.” “Rodney,” he says and there’s an almost wild look in his eyes as he glances up at the scientist, seemingly pleading with him to just listen. “They missed something. There’s something wrong, we have to--.” “Aye,” Carson greets, a smile on his face. “There ya are. Ya had us quite worried there for a bit. I’d still like to run a few scans--.” Rodney tunes him out as he searches John’s face and he supposes that there is a possibility that something was missed. It’s a huge city, many parts that they’ve yet to explore and the Wraith attack had been devastating. He rationalizes that this could also possibly be attributed to some sort of brain injury, what with the bleeding and the passing out and everything but something in John’s eyes gives him pause. Whatever’s brought him to this conclusion, John seems to truly believe that there’s something wrong with their city, with their home and while Rodney isn’t apt to act without actual evidenced based data, he finds that he can’t quite let this go without investigating. “Stop,” he says, holding up a hand to Carson. “We need to go.” “Go? What are ye on about?” Carson asks, clearly annoyed at the interruption. “We still don’ know what caused the bleedin’ an’--.” “Something’s wrong with the city,” Rodney says, echoing John’s previous statement. “We have to go.” Ronon glances at Rodney from across John’s bed and when Rodney gives a barely there nod, Ronon crowds Carson, gently ushering him away. “Sorry, doc.” “Oh, ye can’t be serious! Rodney!” “Can you stand?” Rodney asks John, and he reaches for him, carefully like he’s not sure where it’s okay to touch, especially in public, but John’s hand grabs his wrists and he squeezes gently. “Thank you.” “If you really want to thank me,” Rodney says dryly, “you can do so by not passing out on me again during what is sure to be a long trip around the city. “I’ll do my best,” John answers solemnly and Rodney supposes that’s as good as it gets. --- It’s dark outside, the Lantean sun having set several hours ago. They’ve split up into groups, Ronon and Teyla, Lorne and McMasters, John and Rodney. They’ve had absolutely no luck in finding anything of consequence and Rodney is trying very hard not to lose his temper because he’s

tried to show John on the tablet several times now that everything still shows all is well, but John is insistent. Desperate even, only growing moreso the farther away they get from the heart of the city. “Teyla, Ronon, this is McKay. Anything?” “No, Rodney,” Teyla answers back almost immediately. “It seems as though everything is still working as it should over this way.” “Lorne?” “All good here, doc. I’m gonna suggest we call it, at least for the night. Some of these labs haven’t properly been cleared yet, I’d like to--.” “No,” John says and when Rodney glances over to give him an exasperated glare, he realizes that John’s nose is bleeding again. “John, what are you--!” “This is the hallway,” he tells Rodney, reaching up to wipe the blood away, smearing it to his cheek. “This is… she needs us…” He reaches out and touches the wall and Rodney watches as it pulsates under his hand, a blue glow flickering to life. He’s always known that Atlantis liked John better than she liked anyone else, has seen it in the way rooms light up for him, the effortless way in which John activates all her tech, but this… this is something else. She’s actually communicatingwith him, he knows it. “Three levels above the east pier,” Rodney says into his comm. “Teyla—” “We are already on our way,” and over the radio, Rodney can hear the heavy footfalls of their feet against the floor. Rodney doesn’t realize that John has walked away, not at first, until he turns to see the glow halfway down the hall, barely illuminating John’s figure as it guides him further into the darkness. Rodney follows, and suddenly, John stops outside of a door. “Is this it?” Rodney asks, but he already knows the answer to the question. He slides his hand over the crystal, but the door doesn’t budge, not that Rodney expected it to. “Okay,” he says, and his voice is gentle now, perhaps more gentle than it’s ever been, but there’s something about the pinched look on John’s face that honestly, truly worries him. It reminds him of how he looked on the jumper, right before he, you know, passed out. He checks his tablet, but he knows it’s a moot point because the city is off-line down here, which is why they never knew there was a problem. The sensors just don’t reach this far, but he thinks he should be able to still get the door open. “John,” Rodney says, and there’s no response. “John.” But John seems not to hear him as he reaches for the door, fingers gripping the edge as he tries, desperately, to pull it open. “Oh, oh. Yes.” Rodney puts the tablet down carefully and he moves to the other side, glancing at John to follow his lead and as John pulls again, the noise that escapes him sends a shiver down Rodney’s spine. He screams as the door finally slides open and now, Rodney notices the blood trickling out of John’s ear, just in time to grab John as he crumples, guiding him to the floor. “Rodney!” Teyla’s voice echoes down the hallway, and Rodney calls back, voice nearing on hystericalas he situates himself below John to pillow his head on his lap. “Here! We’re here!” Ronon comes into view first, gun aimed, followed quickly by Teyla. “We heard screaming, what—John?” “It’s Atlantis!” Rodney says, “She’s using John to communicate, there’s something--.” Ronon needs to hear no more as he slips through the opened door and a second later, there’s the sound of laser fire. Rodney’s petting over John gently, shaking him gently, pleading with him to wake up but it’s to no avail. Teyla has disappeared inside of the room that John brought them to and Rodney risks a fraction of a moment to lean down, letting his lips brush against John’s forehead. “Please, please, please wake up.” John resolutely does not. --- “Did we do it?” He’s somewhere quiet and he’s alone, but he can feel her around him, leaving him warm and comforted, reminding him very much of being wrapped up in his mother’s embrace when he was seven and had the flu. He remembers that because before coming to Atlantis, it was the last time he felt well and

truly loved because she’d died less than three weeks later. You did, and he closes his eyes, letting her warmth wash over him. The pain is gone, both his and hers, he realizes and there’s a feeling of contriteness that settles inside of him, like she’s saying she’s sorry and he guesses she means for basically hijacking his mind. But, as unsettling as it should be, he finds that he’s always known she was there, really. The gentle thrumming, the quiet humming of her power he feels tucked away somewhere in the back of his mind. She wasn’t trying to hurt him, he knows. It’s not just his found family that cares for him, not just Rodney… but her too. There will be no lasting damage, she promises him and the warmth begins to recede, just a bit. To either you or me. But please tell Doctor McKay not to be too angry with me. The darkness is fading now with her and he’s not really sure why she thinks Rodney would be upset with her. He tries to ask, but the feeling of a gentle hand in his hair, a quiet murmuring of voices, breaks through and John closes his eyes, letting it guide him out of the dark. Thank you once again, John Sheppard. You saved us all. --- “—still don’t understand how we didn’t know it was here,” Elizabeth says and Rodney has to fight not to roll his eyes because they’ve been over this, he’s explained it ad nauseum. “The life signs detector is tied in directly with the city’s power grid,” he says exasperatedly and he thinks about reaching for his tablet as a nice visual aide but somewhere along the way, his hand had settled into John’s hair and it’s so soft that he kind of doesn’t want to pull it away. He doesn’t know if it brings John any comfort, but it brings him some, feeling the warmth of the other under his hand and damn if he’ll let anyone take that away from him. Even at the sake of his own sanity for having to go through this again. “That part of the city still doesn’t get any power. No power means it can’t communicate with us. We never would’ve known.” “… never would’ve known what?” The raspy voice from the bed asks and Rodney very nearly topples out of his chair as he yanks his hand back, gaping down at John, and “oh, thank god!” “Wraith,” Ronon says by way of explanation, like it’s the most natural thing in the world and Rodney supposes maybe it is. After all, at least for right now, it’s the Wraith that’s proved to be their biggest pain in the ass. “Technically, a Wraith transmitter,” Rodney corrects and he can’t quite tear his eyes away. “The Wraith was.. well, indisposed, as it was. How are you feeling?” “What d’y’mean ‘indisposed’?” “It blew itself up when it realized that the room was heavily shielded and that the beacon couldn’t get through,” Ronon says and Rodney glares at him, because he’sthe one who likes to do all the explaining, thank you very much. “Blew a hole in the wall almost the size of a jumper.” “Yes, well,” Rodney says, steering the conversation back, “somehow, there was some sort of a fail safe built into the city’s infrastructure. There was a kind of a force field where the wall used to be, not unlike that of the cells, but with no power, it wouldn’t have held much longer. When it failed, that thing would’ve sent our coordinates to every Wraith hive ship in the galaxy and well, the ruse would’ve been up. But enough about that, how are you feeling?” “Kinda like I got hit by a truck,” John says and he shifts on the bed to sit up a bit more. “The transmitter’s been taken care of?” “Blasted into almost as many pieces as the Wraith,” Ronon says proudly and Teyla squeezes his arm gently. “We are very glad that you are awake, John,” she says diplomatically, “but perhaps it would be best if we let you rest?” “Whaddya mean? That’s all he’s been doing,” Ronon scoffs, but Teyla tugs at his arm anyway, bless her. “Come,” she says. “Elizabeth, perhaps I could help you in your office, go over the schedule for the teams set to search the rest of the city?” And whatever look she shares with Elizabeth has her nodding, turning to give them both a

smile. “Of course, thank you Teyla,” she says and she reaches out for John, squeezing his arm gently. “Good to have you back with us, John.” John lifts a hand in response as everyone filters out, leaving him and Rodney alone. “You’re an idiot,” Rodney says, just because it’s expected of him, has become part of their standard routine whenever John lands himself in the infirmary. “For what?” “Oh, I don’t know, for letting a sentient city scramble your brains.” “She said she’s sorry, you know,” John says and Rodney rolls his eyes. “Of course she did. And when did we decide that she was a sheafter all? I suppose it makes sense, what with the way women across twogalaxies fawn over you, the famous Colonel Kirk.” “It’s okay to be jealous, Rodney.” “Excuse me? I am not jealous! I just think it’s a little funny that--.” “She even said she hopes you’re not too mad at her,” John interrupts. “What? Why would she care about that?” “I dunno,” he shrugs and he lays back against the pillow, closing his eyes. “Guess she knows how important you are to me. Probably wouldn’t wanna get in your bad graces…” He still can’t get used to this, this… thing. Where they care about each other, but have finally matured enough emotionally to say it out loud. “Yes well,” Rodney sniffs, and settles his hand back against John’s hair, “I’ll forgive her this time. But you tell that harlot--!” “Rodney,” John groans, “she said she’s sorry.” “Alright, alright,” he says and he leans forward, maybe a bit hesitantly, before he presses his lips against John’s. “I’m just… glad you’re okay.” “Yeah,” John agrees. “Me too, buddy. Now how about less talking and more hair petting?” Frankly, there’s nowhere else Rodney would rather be. “Go back to sleep, dummy.” “With pleasure.”

Adrift - Rewrite

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/pDHN63P

by WildMoonFiction4Ever

Rodney panics when he can't save people from the shield collapsing. He thinks Sheppard doesn't like him anymore as he is very angry about it. Can they fix all the problems while trying to work out their own feelings for each other?

Words: 671, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M

Characters: Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Jennifer Keller, Elizabeth Weir, Radek Zelenka, Sam Carter

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Rodney McKay & John Sheppard, Ronon Dex/Teyla Emmagan

Additional Tags: Pre-Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e01 Adrift, Rewrite, Anger, Bad Decisions, Hurt, Comfort, Love, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Rodney McKay, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Pining Rodney McKay, Rodney McKay Needs A Hug, Pining John Sheppard, Hurt John Sheppard, POV John Sheppard, John Sheppard Needs a Hug, Protective John Sheppard, Minor John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir, Community: mcsheplets, Panic Attacks, Stress Relief, Love Confessions, Alternate Universe - Stargate Atlantis Fusion

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/pDHN63P

okay @atlantis-scribe, i did it:

the conflict between john and rodney in adrift/lifeline is more about miscommunication than anything else: the essay

tldr: they’re both bad at sharing responsibility and terrible at communicating, which leads to both of them trying to do Everything at the same time. in the end, the Thing They Both Wanted To Happen (elizabeth lives) is achieved and they kiss and make up really easily.

the opening scene of first strike--the very beginning of this whole arc, is all about how neither john nor rodney is suited for command. they are doing a terrible job at being administrators by refusing to a) evaluate their subordinates and b) see any value in the exercise at all. this shows that neither of them really want to be In Charge (more than they already are) and that they are pretty bad at sharing responsibilities (all the people who work for me are exactly the same because hey, i do everything anyway!).

when john first assumes command after elizabeth is down, he does it quietly. he pulls rodney aside and he never says the words--just leaves it kinda hanging for rodney to fill in. (this isn’t anything john wants, and not just because it means something bad has happened to elizabeth). this is miscommunication #1. rodney is open to interpret this vague, open-ended statement however he wants, even if john means it to be finite.

miscommunication #2: in the same breath that he assumes command, john asks the one and only thing he ever does of rodney in this arc: keep me in the loop. what john probably means here is, “don’t do anything without my approval. i’m the boss.” what rodney hears is, “hey make sure that you tell me about anything you plan on doing before you do it.” those are two very different things.

the next problem is keller’s fault. in this command structure, keller and rodney should be on the same level, right below john. but instead of taking her idea to john (for whatever her reason, whether it wasn’t clear, or she didn’t want to bother him, or she thought it would be easier to convince john with rodney on board, etc. etc.), keller goes right to rodney with the nanite plan.

at this point, john is entirely out of the loop. they get him on the comm, but he is getting ready to do a space walk with a panicky radek in order to yknow, save everyone. (once again, john is terrible at delegating. if he’s in charge, he shouldn’t be the one out doing this with radek). john does not have time and he does not have the mental space to process fully keller’s nanite plan. he is busy.

even so, this is where we run into miscommunication #3: john tells rodney he won’t talk about it until rodney’s sure the replicators won’t be connected to the nanites. it is also important to note that he follows this up with something like i want to save elizabeth as much as anyone, couching what he means as a command with an emotional appeal and muddling everything up.

so here’s the problem: john appears to mean NO, but he doesn’t say it. what rodney hears is: once you’re sure, you can do it. rodney hears that john is willing to be persuaded--and it seems like yeah, john probably is willing to be persuaded, once he’s not standing in a spacesuit ready to do some impossible thing. and rodney’s already under the assumption that he’s just supposed to run his plans by john before carrying them out.

the other side of this for rodney is that part where john admits to wanting to save elizabeth. elizabeth is important to john (and rodney, but that’s a separate thing). rodney has been trying to do whatever he can to save john any hardship possible since trinity. he’s spent the past three years listening to john talk about not leaving anyone behind. and here’s something rodney can do: he can save elizabeth. he can make the call john can’t. he can make sure elizabeth isn’t left behind.

(sidenote: radek tells john he made the right call, but john’s response to this is something like i sure hope so--because john didn’t want to make that call. he wants to save elizabeth. more than anything. but he’s in charge now, and he can’t (until rodney’s sure). he’s used to being in the middle, being able to go off and do what he wants and have the consequences fall on his CO, but there’s no CO now. that’s him.)

so when keller comes to rodney and says it has to happen now, rodney does it. he goes for it. he’s sure it will work and he’s sure he can convince john eventually (because john will do anything for any one of them) and he’s sure john would make the call if john were in his position.

john comes back from his space walk with radek to find that rodney has done literally the only thing john asked him not to do. rodney’s enacted one of his plans without even talking to john about it. and rodney seems to know this is the problem. he’s nervous about telling john, and his first defense is not that elizabeth isn’t dangerous (that’s second), it’s that john was busy, so rodney had to decide alone.

at this point, john stops listening to rodney. he refuses to let rodney explain anything about the plan or the nanites or how rodney’s sure--which is what he asked for in the first place. john’s explosive response here isn’t at all like we’ve seen him react to literally anything (except maybe??? the genii?????) because ... 

backtrack miscommunication #3 again: john says he doesn’t like rodney’s plan because the replicators might find them, but that clearly isn’t the only thing he was afraid of. the first thing he does when he sees elizabeth is pull his gun. because elizabeth might be a threat now, and since he’s in charge, he’ll have to take out the threat. john killed sumner, and he’ll kill elizabeth. he knows it. but he never told rodney. not until later, when they work together and program the kill switch--when rodney agrees not only to be the one to make the program, but to be the one to push the goddamn button to do it.

okay. phew. now. the other big reason i think john’s issue with rodney here is miscommunication, not about what rodney’s actually done with the nanites: john accepts rodney’s apology So Fast.

right away rodney admits what he’s done wrong. and when he comes back with his apology later, he says again that john has reason to be mad at him. and at that point, while john’s watching elizabeth be alive because of a call he was incapable of making while in his current position, he accepts rodney’s apology immediately--a far cry from his response to rodney in trinity. he doesn’t accept the apology grudgingly. he’s not mad at rodney or distant with him for the rest of the episode. they move on as a team right away--and are marginally better at communicating during the rest of lifeline.

(also, it can’t go unnoted: john’s  whole posture changes when he accepts rodney’s apology--he immediately shifts and rubs at his head and starts making faces again bc he’s nervous and he can show rodney now bc they’re talking again even tho they haven’t been for maybe 10 minutes)

It's The Final Countdown (do da do do)

or; Sparrow cracks out the last chapter of Clearest Indication, edits pending.

In the end, Rodney does return to Atlantis.

Earth isn’t home anymore, no matter how hard he tries; tries to be happy, with his dog and his shop and his little house, with occasional teaching stints and publishing (but oh, Tunney had apparently read his last paper and had been furious, which had pleased Rodney to no end; he and Altan had gotten extremely drunk that night in celebration). His life on Earth is safe and secure—but it’s boring, too, and saving Atlantis had reminded Rodney of how much he missed her, and seeing Ronon and Teyla had reminded him of how much he missed them—so really, it was Jird that ended up the deciding factor, when Rodney had told the SGC no, he wasn’t going back, not without his dog. But Elizabeth pulled some strings, and Carson blathered on about therapy animals, and stress, and mental health, and Rodney had showed pictures of Jird when they were requested, and—most importantly—kept his mouth shut. Which is how he finds himself on the Daedalus one more time, Jird safely in cryo and himself far away from Engineering (“I want you to try to not micromanage,” his therapist had said. “It’s important for you to learn to trust others to do their jobs”), reading Radek’s notes and wondering what going back means—for him, for Elizabeth, for the team.

Come home, said Ronon.

We respect your choices, but we miss you, said Teyla.

I’m sorry, said John.

Please return, said Miko. I don’t like the field and they won’t take anyone else.

I didn’t need you, said Elizabeth. But I wanted you.

His relationships won’t be fixed, of course—Rodney had been hurt, and had hurt in turn, and that couldn’t be erased by therapy and a dog and a will to be better.

But Rodney was willing to try.