Note: DM request.

Imagine Matt planning to propose to you while watching footage of the Licker’s beatdown.

If we get out, he amended. ______ probably’ll find a way.

You barely had time to surprise the monster. It thankfully had been busy evolving after ripping into fresh meat. Fresh meat previously known as Spence.

With his gun trained on Alice, you slipped through the doorway. He was too focused on reaching the antidote to notice you trailing behind. Now Spence would never underestimate you again.

Neither will I, Matt thought, not if I’m going to marry that girl.

Your suitor winced as you directly brained the Licker with the closed case of anti-virus. You apparently knew the appropriate amount of force to use. The vials hadn’t shattered when you popped the case back open to check.

Matt smiled. Badass.

surviving a saw trap and taking the billy puppet home with me to piss off john kramer some more

dump of danberts of varying quality and seriousness

it's equality ™

I've (We've) got a Scream musical, a Saw Musical, an Evil Dead Musical, an It Musical and an Exorcist Musical...I need my Re-Animator musical to add to the collection, pretty please

Slice of life at the Evil Dead cabin

Jill knows you gotta boop the snoot! <3 This one is kinda old but oh well lol

incredible specimen

Saw  2004 Promotional posters

Someone gimme horror movie recs with a queer homosexual fandom

they're Not the same

okay okay everyone always talks about how a medieval peasant wouldn't survive seeing/knowing about [insert modern day thing] BUT have we considered the following: would horror movie actors survive scrolling through the tumblr tag of the movie(s) they were in?

this is not only testable with many of the subjects in question being alive, but also put any horror movie into the search bar (if it was made in the 80s or 90s the following is even more likely to be the case) and i guarantee you the first 15 posts will include murder man either as a cat boy or in a maid outfit (or both), the most passionate gay lovemaking between either two very queer-coded characters or the most queerphobic characters to ever exist, a 100k fanfic that is actually really good (and really gay and horny amen), a meme that is incomprehensible to anyone above the age of 45 y/o, someone having a mental breakdown over the grainiest behind the scenes photo you've ever seen, grotesque (affectionate) monster girls having brunch, and/or someone having a religious experience over the most gremlin little guy to ever live.

i say all of this with the utmost love and respect as part of the community. no villain is safe from uwu-ification and we will reach knee-deep into the plot to pull out queer subtext like we are mining for rare ores to trade at the market that will save our village from starving. and i think that's lovely.

the "[insert youtuber here] reacts to their tumblr tag" was a popular trend about 10 years ago but they're already living in-tandem with fandom/online culture so there was little to shock or awe them. give me 65 y/o joe actorman sitting in front of a computer and facing what millenials/gen z have crafted in reverence through a sleep deprived-induced haze. this test will separate the blorbos from the glupshitos.

anyway i think i accidentally took 2 of my adhd meds today uwu

i'm tired of no one knowing dear vocalist so here's an unhelpful guide: dear vocalist edition 😁🤲🏻

this is very music-centered tho, if you wanna know more about the main characters + tls and links here's a carrd made by kensakoda on twitter!

the thing about xiao hua in the lost tomb 2 is that i would argue he's the most ruthless of all the live-action versions (at least so far). he's the one dealing with the ugly underbelly of what it means to be head of the xies, the one onscreen telling the rest of his family to fuck off or die because he won't walk away or go down without a fight. he moves quickly and cleanly and he kills people without blinking if the situation is severe enough to warrant it.

but he's also the version of xiao hua who smiles the most and genuinely means it. whether it's at his men who've stayed by his side, or at wu xie who he beams at from the first time they're onscreen together and never stops looking out for him, or at zhai xingyao, the brother who he's kept safe enough to have his back. he's got all the gravity of the burdens he's had to carry his entire life, but he still finds enjoyment in the simplest ritual of sitting in his courtyard watching opera performances on his laptop. xiao hua has restraint and control and he can click his emotions on and off like a light switch if he must, though with the emotions he's willing to share, he's so easy with making them known.

adding onto this, there's a passage from book canon that i feel is crucial to understanding xiao hua's character, and it's from volume 7 (from wu xie's pov):

“Are you a good person or one of the bad ones?” I asked.

“What do you think?” He looked at me and sighed. “Do you think a good man, upon hearing that his childhood playmate’s life and death was uncertain, would still ignore it and finish his own business first?

(...) "Do you know how many times I did such things before? I often wondered if I didn’t listen to my grandfather and went back immediately, would those people still be alive?” He also smiled. “You can’t have friends once you think like that, because you know you can’t go back and save them. If you became friends with someone and this happened, then you’d be sad. So to prevent that and be able to abandon others with ease, I decided I couldn’t be friends with anyone. It sounds a bit melodramatic, doesn’t it?”

I didn’t know how to answer him, so I just chuckled a few times.

“But these were my thoughts when I was a child.” He said. “Now that I’m older, I’ve figured a few things out.” He sighed and raised the wine bottle and motioned to me, “So, Little Master Three. With me here, you have to take care of yourself.”

(quoted from the Merebear translation)

although tlt2 xiao hua is younger than he is in this section of the books (this exchange takes place while him and wu xie are at mount siguniang, or the last arc of ultimate note), he's a xiao hua who's already been through the change his book counterpart describes in the passage. he's made it forward in reckoning with what he does in his life, and he doesn't consider himself a saint by any means for it, but he's found what happiness he can still make room for and save despite all that. i'm glad that tlt2 gave us a xiao hua who looks like he's gone through that realization, and let him shine in who he is after coming out the other side, not only in his own sideplot but also in his interactions with the other main characters.

one of my favourite moments in tlt2 is from the last battle against the jade(?) warrior, when one of xiao hua's men dies (i'm so sorry i can't remember his name) and he's angry. how xiao hua wields his anger is typically cold, calculated, he only lets a hint of it show because the self-control is more terrifying to watch than full displeasure. this time he's fully expressing genuine rage, and i think it's the most unrestrained we ever see xiao hua with it in any adaptation. one of his people died, someone he cared about and wasn't afraid to show it, and so whoever is responsible is going to lose his life next. and it's beautiful.

tl;dr i adore how tlt2 xiao hua is characterized and how that characterization drew on his book journey, even though this adaptation introduces him at a slightly younger age. hats off to everyone involved

Ada by dandonfuga