#Prolly watching the drama and eating popcorn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loaded-dice-enjoyer · 2 months

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GOOD EVENING. or morning. or afternoon. you know

my name's ryder!!! but like rye works too lol. he/him! or uuuuhhh xe/xim? i dunno those ones sound very cool. maybe throw it/its in there too

i go to bb academy (unova 😔) but i am from postwick (galar 😔) and uh i'm just here to hang out n have fun i dunno. i did the galar gym circuit a while back tho!! feel free to talk about that w/ me 👍

i think one of my friend's on here?? i mean i'll prolly just bug her irl or whatever instead (btw gill if you are reading this you still owe me 15 GRAND!!! 🎉🎉 pay up buddy)

i like pokemon battles too. here's my team!! hmu for a chance to battle and uh. chance to win. the joke is that i like to use metronome and only metronome (i am a gambling man hence my username)

^ guy does not look like me!!! i'm way cooler or whatever

that's it!! i will not talk much on here but don't be afraid to chat. stick your fingers into the bars of my enclosure i won't bite 💥

bye bye

//hiiii this is my excuse to be silly (because Gill is just. Too busy crying or whatever/j)

Basic rules!

-will probably not post as much on here, as u do (but you can totally send asks and stuff and reach out!! I am always down for interaction 😎👍)

- no nsfw. Mun and muse are minors

-anyone can interact

-just dont be rude? Yeah yeah

-Rye will be probably detached from all the BB drama as a whole. That doesn't mean he won't like play a part in it? Xe'll just be eating popcorn in the corner and watching everything play out

-pretty much everything but magic anons are on. Pelipper and Musharna Mail, malice, unmail, etc. Go nuts

-blog is run by @skrelpson!!! I need help/silly

-that's it, my planet needs me, goodbye

#rotomblr #pokemon irl #pkmn irl #pokeblr #pokeblog #tw gif warning #intro post

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bloodfart666 · 4 years

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Pennywise babysitting headcannons go!

Had @alllosersdownhere help me again. EYE DIED LAUGHING DOING THIS.

Pennywise? Babysitting?

NOM???

Okay let's examine WHY he'd NOT eat the tykes?

Maybe they're relatives of yours? Someone he KNOWS you care for?

Maybe (wishful thinking) it's his own children?

Humans can pet cattle without eating them so it stands to reason that Penny is capable of something like this.

FEED THE CLOWN FIRST OML

Self denial is NOT something he's good at!

FEED HIM

Okay. Assuming he's well fed AND has the wherewithal to NOT see a walking cheeseburger…….. You prolly better prep the kiddos too. Penny isn't exactly your typical run of the mill, gentle looking clown.

You could ask Penny to go Bob Gray.

He won't tho.

Expect clownly guffaws if you ask.

“I EAT children, I do not SIT them.”

"Or do I sit ON them? Yes! Maybe this is acceptable." "NO PENNY!"

The child screams? He… just screams back mockingly.

Older kid throws a tantrum? He will throw one BACK. Throw himself on the floor. “That’s what YOU sound like, idiot child.”

WHY WOULD YOU LET THIS CLOWN BABYSIT???

Time to feed the kiddo? Penny sniffs their food, makes a disgusted face. “You eat THIS? I could find you something better.”

FEED THE DAMN CLOWN

Better hope the kid doesn’t want a bedtime story. Penny has some interesting ones. That child is never sleeping again and it is your fault for trusting the child-murdering clown to babysit.

Oldest, watching Beavis and Butthead when he's CLEARLY been told NOT to? Pennywise: "This is the most RIDICULOUS…… most ASININE……. turn it up will ya?"

Baby spits food in his face? Penny's GOING to either A) leper barf a lah chapter 2 or B) dump the baby food on their head.

Kid won’t sleep? Penny doesn’t understand this. This clown can sleep for 27 years, why won’t this kid sleep for more than 27 minutes?

He would entertain them by dancing. Unfortunately, he'll probably make the world dance around him instead or do something equally traumatising for the poor tyke. Or worse…… teaching the kid to do the wagon jig."NO you fool, it's like THIS." Kicks one of your knick knacks.

Kiddo brings a teddy to show him. He takes it, stares with distaste. Shreds it with his claws and drops the mauled bear to the floor.

Reading a picture book? He will do something HORRIFIC. ESPECIALLY if the picture book has turtles oml. Make sure it does not.

One child draws on the wall. Another child says "you know you're not supposed to do that! (Y/N) said so!" Cue demonic clown grin. Expect a Divinci quality piece on your wall. In blood? Shit? Who knows…..

Penny is babysitting a little girl who invites him to her tea party? ...Actually. This is nice. He can’t fit at the little table and his knees are up to his chest comically but still.

Kid gets bored of the tea party so Penny flips over the table and tears up the guest dolls in a rage.

He shoves on some horror movies. Lets the kids skip bedtime to watch.

Kiddo wants to play dress up. Penny's having NONE of it……. At first.

Is unsurprisingly tolerant of child putting makeup on his face.

"MAKE ME PRETTY PENNY!" Yup. You guessed it. Expect a house full of tiny demonic clowns and one tall clown drag queen.

Bathtime! Don’t worry, he won’t leave them unsupervised. He’ll just… probably turn the water to blood or pop out of the drain.

Unless they bring out the bubbles….. This clown is going to be ADDICTED. Will probably use the entire bottle.

HE TURNS BIG BOI. Lets the kids climb on him. It is adorable. A pity it would destroy the house.

If the kiddos want to go to the park, that’s fine! He’ll watch over them. Probably grab a snack while he’s out. Plenty to pick from.

As much as he likes to mock the popping sound, you'd think he knows how to microwave a bag of popcorn. SURPRISE! He doesn't. But never one to give up he'll keep trying. Just take a moment to imagine how your house is going to smell after 10 burnt bags of popcorn.

KIDS WANT BALLOON ANIMALS

Penny does not know how to do balloon animals

He DESTROYS those balloons. Bites them in a fury. Popped balloons EVERYWHERE.

Until the oldest shows him how to make a balloon penis. Then……. Lots of cackling and balloon penises.

Oldest girl says "Ew, that's gross. What are you? Two?"

Penny pops a balloon penis in her face.

Blanket forts. Penny cannot grasp the logic behind these. Just tears them down to scare the shit outta the kids.

But plastic sword fights? Say hello to Obi Wan Penny. Jediwise.

Child throws candy at the television. Penny thinks this is dandy. Child puts on TMNT. Penny throws entire bowl of candy. Including the bowl.

Penny TRIES the candy. Say bye to your candy. Wrappers and all.

Baby needs changed. Nope.

Baby cries. FINE.

Penny lives in a sewer so the smell is no bother to him. This clown can actually change a nappy like a PRO….. he just doesn't WANT to.

Bed time: "I'm scared of the dark Penny."

"GOOD…… shit…….. Ugh….. FINE

Opens mouth towards the ceiling. PRESTO! Indirect deadlight night light.

Children start falling asleep. One is on his lap. They've FINALLY fallen asleep. He doesn't move. Not a single movement.

Let's take a moment to SAVOR what you're going to find when you get home, shall we?

Pieces of your ceiling are gone. There's a shit Mona Lisa on your living room wall. The bathroom is flooded with bubbles. It REEKS of burnt ass popcorn. Beavis and Butthead reruns on the tube, which is covered with pre chewed candy. Blankets and plastic swords EVERYWHERE. And there on the couch, amongst a sea of balloon penises, your sleeping demonic clown children. And a VERY disgruntled drag queen.

The next morning, you find on your night stand….. A pristine brand new copy of "No Drama Discipline" by Daniel J Siegel.

#pennywise the dancing clown #asks #headcanons #i died writing these #so funny #my writing #clown drag queen

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stateofirrelevancy · 7 years

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Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Holla @ ma girl @kerrity13 thx for the tag babe

LAST:

1. Drink: some H and a double shot of O 2. Phone call: To my mom to ask where the olive oil is only to realize olive oil has too many calories and wasn’t worth it dsfjkds so then I tossed it back in the cabinet but it didn’t land upright woops 3. Text message: “she jus wants a friend” sent to my friend Orange who is watching Moana w me right now in response to “why is this fire lady so angry” 4. Song you listen to: Like I said I’m watching Moana so the I Am Moana song but if that doesn’t count then Vanity’s Fair - A Lot Like Birds 5. Time you cried: I actually have no idea?? Sometime in June prolly

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: twice????? bich i aint go on a date once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Is this the section to make me feel bad bc I never leave my room 8. Been cheated on: refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Idk I feel like yes like all my grandparents passed away and my uncle on my mom’s side and my aunt on my dad’s side and also v recently my uncle on my dad’s side but like they lived in Pakistan so I rarely saw them ya feel?? 10. Been depressed: I mean I’ve def been super sad but idk if I’d say ~depressed~ 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: refer to #7

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange, yellow, black, in that order.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes, one of whomstve being @oceansweather my go to drama buddy 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of what now? u mean when I get over bands I used to like? Then yes Big Time motherfuckin Rush yall broke my tiny heart in two 17. Laughed until you cried: Def who hasn’t 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so?? Like I don’t doubt people do but I ain’t jumpin 2 kno about it 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? I mean I’ve basically had the same friends for 5 years lol 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the cheeks ya

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ok considering I have eight (8) FB friends bc I made my fb to join my college’s group I know all of them considering I only added ppl super close to me lmao 23. Do you have any pets: When my brother lived here I had his cat Glimmer who is a stripper but he moved out and now I’m constantly :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah I like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: On the exact day I had a big dinner at home w my family and the weekend after my friends came over! 26. What time do you wake up: If my mom wakes me up then 10 otherwise 11-12:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: prolly on tumblr tbfh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bojack Horseman season 4!! and new 5sos music ofc. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? around 2 hrs ago when I went down to make popcorn lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ??? be hot or not dumb either would b k00l 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m watching What The Health now cause Moana ended rksdjlkfsd 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No?? The only Toms I know are british YouTubers bye 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ummm myself 34. Most visited website: prolly youtube 35. Mole/s: One on my left pinky, one at the bottom of my left ring finger, one next to my left knee, one above my right eyebrow, one in the pit of my left elbow. 36. Mark/s: I have a huge birth mark on my stomach lmao fun fact it used to look like the US when I was younger 37. Childhood dream: yall I had my life planned THE FUCK out. When I was in fifth grade I decided I would b a pop star like Hannah Montana until I was ~30, and then when my world fame inevitably dissipated, I’d become a doctor like the good little brown girl I thot I was. 38. Hair color: black like my soul 39. Long or short hair: medium length lol 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Calum mf Hood ain’t got eyes for no one else 41. What do you like about yourself: what do I what now 42. Piercings: do my ears getting pierced when I was a baby count asdklfj 43. Blood type: I think B positive?? idk 44. Nicknames? Aky 45. Relationship status: me myself and i are together and in a loving poly relationship 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: PARKS AND REC!!! I was jus telling my friend the other day that idt I’ll ever find a show I’ll love more than it. Words can’t describe how much I love P&R yall. 50. Right or left hand: Right but don’t b fooled my left is mf skilled 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I wish!! 53. Sport: who? I don’t know her 55. Vacation: what does this mean like have I been on vacation before?? Then ya lol 56. Pair of trainers: CONVERSE BITCH aint no one else exist in the world but her

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: idk what this question means what is my fave food????????? then,, idfk lasagna 58. Drinking: capri sun could fuck me in the asshole any day 62. Want: ?? death 63. Get married: ya I’m mf down when will a boi wife me tf up 64. Career: idk I really wanna work in AI 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs wtf i aint kiss none but hugs are pure i will fight someone over this 66. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?? 67. Shorter or taller: I guess taller cause im smol 68. Older or younger: older give me a daddy 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms gotta b strong to choke me 2 death 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I need some1 2 feel emotions for me thx 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: are u saying i have the choice of finally having a cringey fuckboi badboy tm that most every wattpad fic was about 5 yrs ago?? no thanks

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: ,,,u kno the answer to that bye 75. Drank hard liquor: this is the section to make me feel bad abt myself reincarnated 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no n knock on wood I won’t 77. Turned someone down: ekjfnkdlsn one time a guy asked me to homecoming and I told him homecoming wasn’t my thing and then he saw me at homecoming ekdfjaderdfkalesdf 78. Sex on the first date: uhhh 222 early 4 me 79. Broken someone’s heart: who knows mayb i broke the homecoming guys heart the world may never know 80. Had your heart broken: anytime Calum refuses to acknowledge my existence 81. Been arrested: no but I’ll gladly b put in handcuffs :-) 82. Cried when someone died: ya when my grandma on my mom’s side died. Oh and also when Christina Grimmie died :( 83. Fallen for a friend: idt so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ha 85. Miracles: sort of? Like I don’t believe in the magic behind it or whatnot but like winning the lottery would be a miracle bc like it’ so rare ya feel me 86. Love at first sight: nope not one bit 87. Santa Claus: fun anecdote so I’m Muslim and I never understood how Santa knows which houses are for people who celebrate christmas vs those who don’t and so I somehow conjured up the theory that he knows bc he checks each house and if they decorated and have a tree up, they celebrate it. So I was telling my mom this and she’s a vvv blatant person so we was straight up like he doesn’t exist and I was like he does!! and she was like ok then put up decorations and see if he comes and I was like :-( 88. Kiss on the first date: personally too early for me

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Idek who would be considered my #1?? Also what happened to question 89 lol 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam

I tag @oceansweather @aneverendingreplay @5sowoc @lukescurlies @fuckmemgc @harrqstyles @punk-dinosaur @ovalt @tennisbowels @disasterologiess @hiighriselights and anyone else who wants to

#does anyone actually read these lol #about me

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