Two destructive men spend the rest of their lives at a vacation home as the rest of the world burns.

On the topic of cathartic endings: I hope c!Sam fucking explodes and dies

Dream SMP AU fic that looks like generic RPF on the surface (everyone is a streamer or content creator) but it soon becomes clear that it is definitely the DSMP characters because almost none of them are Minecraft streamers and half of them aren’t even human.

Dream is a voiceless 100% speedrunner vtuber. He inexplicably still has beef with Tommy, a prank vlogger. Wilbur makes political and social commentary video essays and lives with his father Philza (Japanese sword collector). BBH is a retired veteran who turned to baking to relax. His life partner Skeppy is a prank vlogger, and their son Sapnap is an shooter game player who got famous for melting his entire setup with fire breath live on stream after getting too mad about a bug that cost him a match.

Eret is a queer cosplayer who also happens to be a member of a royal family and a major diplomat. His community tab is like “Sorry I didn’t upload this week v-v I had to renegotiate a trade agreement and that took a lot out of me! Whew! ^-^” Tommy also does music mixing streams and chill sewing videos. Tubbo is doing “mechanics ASMR” where he silently makes clockwork and electrical devices. His enderman husband Ranboo does family vlogs but never shows pictures of Michael or Tubbo or himself, just their hands and Michael’s hooves and voice. No one knows they’re married except for the people who recognize Tubbo’s hands.

Sam is a engineering professor whose uploads range from cute videos of his dogs to hour long video essays on industrial manufacturing. Ponk collects shoes. Technoblade is the only Minecraft YouTuber. He’s also a piglin brute who needs a custom gaming setup for his massive hooves. Foolish is still posting Tiktok thirst traps.

I have awoken from sleep to be really silly and considered a PrisonTrio Anastasia movie AU

Quackity wants to Get Rich and Get Out Of Here. Sam wants to impress Ponk again after their failed relationship. Dream would really just like a family after a lifetime of loneliness. Together they are absolute disasters who can't be normal about each other for five minutes. Includes:

that cool dream/nightmare sequence features Sapnap and George, who were Dreams childhood friends and absolutely killed during the uprising because they wouldn't tell their captors where Dream escaped to. When Dream gets his memory back he Totally Has No Trauma About That.

yes Quackity was the servant boy who helped Dream escaped. No he doesn't have any feelings about that. Shut the fuck up.

Sam is the one who makes sure Dream doesn't get pulled off the boat, and he spends the rest of the night holding onto Dream and refusing to let go because What If Something Happens He Needs To Be On Watch

Dream really doesn't have any idea why Quackity and this pink haired guy are arguing but Quackity is obviously terrified, even if he's taking great pains to look unaffected. And yeah, Quackity is a pain in the ass, but Dream still cares about him dammit, so really it's only natural to step in between them.

Dream is the same height as Techno, Quackity realizes. Except whereas Techno is built like a truck, well muscled through years of training, Dream is half starved, spindly and lean, like a tree that should have died its first winter but just kept fucking going. He glares at Techno, and Techno is taken aback.

Dreams hair is Just Long Enough to make a small ponytail at the base of his neck, and he keeps it tied there. Quackity is strangely focused on it, keeps complaining that it looks stupid and that Dream should cut it. When he finally snaps and kisses Dream, he tugs it out of his tail and gets his fingers tangled in it, tugging every which way just to hear Dream moan.

Sam is Not jealous of Quackity and Dream dancing together. He is Not eager for the times they get to share a bed so he can cuddle them close and nuzzle them. He is totally focused on Ponk, what are you talking about?

Ponk and him have an actual talk that isn't anger or shouting or waking up to a cold bed and a letter in red ink, and Ponk reveals she's seeing someone else. They get their closure, but she's moved on, and she gives him a kiss on the forehead and asks him to do the same. She walks off to dance with Foolish at the ball, and Sam goes to search for the people he's been fixated on since they started this mess

Dream is obviously pissed Quackity lied to him and tried to trick an old lady into accepting a fake grandchild for money because yeah, fraud is cool and all, but the woman sounds obviously fucking heartbroken her kid is dead, and Quackity Does Not Want To Be Having This Conversation For So Many Reasons. Dream he's just a silly little tax evader :[ and he realized you were Actually The Prince, It's Real Don't Be Mad (Dream is still mad)

However with the power of Yelling At Old People and Other Illegal Activities, Quackity makes sure Dream still gets his family back and then goes to get really, really drunk about it because now he has to deal with No Dream No Money And Who Even Knows Where Sam Went (Probably back to Ponk, which just makes the horrible feelings worse and he is just drinking from the whole bottle at this point)

Dream… Doesn't actually want the whole being royalty part, he just really wanted to be surrounded by people he loved. Where are those people what happened to them (One is at a bar being pathetic and one is freaking out attempting to find said bar)

oh cool we're fighting Rasputin now

Sam drives a car into him, so he's dead now.

Dream and Sam and Quackity are very bad at talking about their feelings, but somehow they manage to choke out something coherent, and then they go to live at one of the Queen's summer homes, where they proceed to be very bad at feelings for the rest of their lives

Random (live) Commentary on the Egg Lore Finale

Ohhhhhh everyone looks so cool in the fanart from the beggining!!!

Okay, while I do understand the need for a recap, this one is dragging on a bit

Badboyhalo's "apple juice" will never not be funny to me

My theory is that this is somehow possessed Skeppy’s doing - I'm not sure if the Egg, who's supposedly contained, could just get somewhere else without help

Ponk has a point - stained bandages could be anyone's, they didn't have to be his

So Skeppy has just been hanging out at their old beach house? All this time? Damn

What's with this pretty ass fanart/animation???

Skeppy kills Bad?! What the heeeeeeeeeck-

So, Skeppy kills Bad cause he's still mad and Bad respawns in their mansion - did I get that right??

Ohhhh that run through the server half okay, half covered in vines was so so cool

"I have a feeling this is gonna end badly-" wow Seapeekay. Whatever tipped you off, huh?

Uhhhh, why are there so many red flowers all over the server?? Has the Egg spread that much?? Is it just scenario??

"What do you want Ponk..?" Sam sounds so tired of Ponk

Meanwhile, Ponk sounds so giddy about having power over Sam, my god

I don't know a lot about either Sam or Ponk's lore, but their interactions here sure are making me curious

Ehhh, what's with the coughing Sam?

Whaaaaaa- Was this Ponk's last life??

I just read a random chat that said "yes sam slayyyyy" and it made me laugh too much (especially since Sam is dying right now too)

Aren't Sam and Ponk a ship?? This is an interesting way for them to go, I'll tell you that

That little dog whine, I can't-

The organ music, giving me major Phantom of the Opera vibes

"Why isn't she speaking?" like, hasn't she been gone for at least a couple days?? It's fair of her to have passed out guys

Siblings fighting live (Ant and Bad)

"You didn't lose anything-" Not again, Ant!

Seapeekay, the peace bringer

Seapeekay, the dead peace bringer, now

Siblings fighting, pt2 (they have weapons now)

Isn't Eryn the third BBH child? Or is that just a headcanon-

"Sorry kid, -" Hannah's voice is so cool, istg

"I'm getting pretty good at that" pfffft, that's rough buddy

Your parents??? What's Eryn's lore like?

Puffy.... The fuxk

Ah yeah, she has been trapped with the Egg all this time, I guess we forgot that

Sir Billiam??? Francis????? Oh my goooood

...Fucking called it

Skeppy you sappy son of a bitch

Who's voicing the Egg?? I can't place the voice

This is how it ends??? What the hellllllll

....I'm conflicted

“Dr.” Ponk AKA “Mr London”

Human Ninja16 (Mask of the whispering god) XP76800

Chaotic Neutral Medium Humanoid

HP135(16d8+48)

AC32(+8Dex+2Shield+4Deviation+4Armor+1Insight+3Natural)

BaB+12 BMC+22 DMC+36

FORT+8 REFL+19 WILL+6

Racial traits: 1 Extra feat at lv1, +1 Skill point for every level.

Traits: Battlefield surgeon, Loner.

Class abilities: Sneak attack+8d6, Stern gaze, Improved uncanny dodge, Ki pool, Mask, Expurgate, Undercover faith, Ninja tricks(vanishing trick, Shadow clone, Kamikaze, Assassinate, Evasion, Invisible blade, Pressure points, Flurry of stars), Light steps.

STR8 DEX26 CON14 INT12 WIS10 CHA16

Feats: Weapon finesse, Two weapon fighting, Improved two weapon fighting, Rapid shot, Precise shot, Point blank shot, Extra ki, Quick draw, Master crafter.

Skills: Acrobatics+27, Bluff +22, Climb+10, Craft(Alchemy)+12, Diplomacy +12, Disable device +19, Escape artist +27, Heal +9, Intimidate +14, Knowledge (Local)+5, Linguistics+2, Perception +19, Sense motive+19, Sleight of hand +19, Stealth +27, Swim+10, Use magic device +14.

Languages: Common, Draconic, Orc, Undercommon.

Equipment: Chat&Chad 2(Kama) Cutthroat’s apprentice, Dagger of doubling(Shuriken), Mwk shortbow, 20 Mwk arrows, 2 Mwk Bolas, Cybernetic arm (with tracker pointing to Awsamdude), Ring of protection+4, Amulet of natural armor+3, Bracers of armor+4, Ioun stone dusty rose prism, Robe of stars, Belt of incredible dexterity+4, Headband of charisma+4, Ioun stone pale lavender ellipsoid, Manual of quickness of action+2(used), Potions: Cure critical wounds(2), Fly(2), 2 Smoke pellets, Mwk thieves tools, Portable alchemist lab, Healer’s kit, Rogue kit, Ponk iconic mask, 7gp.

Background: Ponk was one of the founding members of land and has an obsession with lemon trees. This passion was (probably) transmitted to him by an ancestor that lived in a “certain village that went mad”. This passion of his was however always ruined by certain people and he was forced to relocate many times. After building Lemon City he started strange rituals with cats and formed an alliance with Schaltt becoming his doctor. After many attempt to reason with him and trying to cure his lung problems he switched sides and joined the revolution. After many events he was corrupted by the egg and defended the dark being from Tommy, then went to Foolish summer home and blew up a building only to receive the godly smite of the demigod. Despite his friendship with Awsamdude, this did not stop the Green warden from severing one of Ponk’s hand (and their friendship) when he accidentally stole some backup keycards from his prison. After escaping his captor, he was found by Niki whom healed his wounds and gave him food. After the events of the Red Banquet, Ponk seemingly freed himself from the Egg influence and fled to Foolish house asking for forgiveness and shelter. Ponk immediately built the Supreme Fridge to appease the demigod and the two started to rebuild a relationship. After the start of the L’Sandberg lawsuit Ponk decided to build a house away from Foolish home and asked Sam suggestions about the lawsuit. After a while, Foolish and Sam went to a secret date and when Ponk discovered this he felt betrayed and isolated himself like a hermit to then rebuild their friendship after a short while. One day, as the Lawsuit for L’Sandberg apparently died out when Foolish blew up the wall built by BBH, Ponk decided to celebrate in secret the event and prepared an invitation for both Foolish and Sam. After ensuring that no one would notice his movements, he went for their houses with the cover of the night. As he walked, however he still felt in despair over the fact that while under the influence of the Egg he still caused anguish to many. He slammed his amputated arm to the wall and cried painful tears, unable to hold back. “Painful, yet redeemable. Your anguish is real, but can be healed. You wish to change that, yes?” A voice spoke from the shadows, Ponk became immediately alerted, yet he knew words of this kind: the same the Egg whispered in his ears while controlled. “They have already accepted.” Who? Who did accept? Foolish? Sam? The Eggipire? “If you wish to change your fate, it is simple: come find me. If you can.” Ponk hesitated, but he lost and recovered many times over the years, so many scars and yet no way out, this was a one-in-a-lifetime chance. He dried his tears and rushed toward the voice only to see the world change around him and seeing his lost arm become a robotic one. A bamboo forest welcomed him, the sounds of animals around the canes… and a beeping sound from his arm. An icon of Awsamdude flickered from his wrist with an arrow pointing toward him. “I guess this is what you call a start.” And not soon after he vanished in the woods.

Link for the image: https://www.pinterest.it/pin/673640056767897550/

A dsmp au i just thought of

When Techno escaped, Dream was left with Quackity who began barraging him with questions and threats if he didnt tell him where Techno is. It took him a bit too long to calm down after Q left becasue he came back to see Dream try to hide in the hole him and Techno dug. He got violently pulled out and with one stricke in the head completly motionless. He didnt react to anything, not to Q not to Sam. They thought he died but no, he was still breathing. So Sam was forced to take Dream to the medbay section of the prison. Second most protected area of the prison. When Techno comes to pick him up, would you know it, Dream is gone from his cell.  He looks around finds Connor but no sight of Dream. And for 3 YEARS no one knew where he was, WHILE HE was in a coma. One of the only ways they managed to find him was by Ponk just killing Sam and taking all of his keycards. So Ponk offers Phil and Techno who were looking for Dream for those past 3 years with NO leads whats over that they will help them with the search by allowing them the acces to the prison. Maybe there will be clues.

Yes there were clues. Dream waking up confused and calling out for Sam. He was very silent. He was too tired to be able to scream or do anything. Phil was the only one that heard the calling. The other people who were there with him aka Techno, Ponk and Bad didnt hear a thing. He managed to find a way into the madbey and there Dream was comepletly confused on where he is and why is Phil there. Phil slowly explained to Dream almost everything and asked him to try and walk wich ended with Dream falling on the old man when he just stood up. Poor guy didnt walk for 3 years so Phil just picked him up. Suprisingly he was light enough to be carried easily. Before so Phil noticed that others where waiting there infront of the entrance to the medbay. Phil asked about if he wants to know who else os there in prison with Phil. Dream agreed and Phil said that Techno, Ponk and Bad are waiting at the antrance aswell. When Phil got Dream out of there Bad was NOT leaving the poor guy again. Techno was mad at himself for not finding the room sooner while Ponk was suprised by the fact Dream was in the prison all this time. Dream isnt looking at any of them he just holds tight to Phil. He still does not trust the old man to carry him but he really doesnt have a choice. 

So they get him out, just for Tommy and Wilbur to be at the antrance and to accidently tell Dream that he was in there for 3 years without anyone knowing. For him it was 24 hours at maximum. Phil didnt say that fact because ,Dream just woke up simmingly and he is now slowly getting his mind to a acceptable level and then Wilbur just spits out that fact thinking Dream wasnt in a coma. So yea He faints. When he wakes up he is at Philza’s cabin and now has to think about the fact, he was gone for 3 years. Phil pretty helpfull with support. Bad is there aswell,like Techno,Ponk and Wilbur(the last one refuses to leave). Anyway thats it. Idk why i thought of it, or when i started thinking of it, i just did.

anyone got any nice holiday plans? :>

Holiday Event! - Beginning Post

“I’m spending it right here!” Daisy grins, flopping down between her dad and Dream with a giggle. “They got me loads of stuff this Christmas!!”

Beside her, Dream and George won’t meet each other’s eyes. They’re both dressed up as poor-passing Santas, Dream missing the hat and George missing the white hair, but despite that, they’re surrounded by presents and both seem happy enough. Dream nurses a mug of hot chocolate, and he seems much more at-ease as months have passed: there are even some drawings Daisy has on the fridge showing it. They document the passing months - George and her and Dream all looking nervous, Daisy and Dream holding hands while George stands apart, and, in the past months, Dream and George holding Daisy’s hands under a rainbow, a big bright smile on all three of their faces.

“Show your favourite present,” George says eagerly, “it’s mine, right? I literally built that pool with my own two hands. It took me days.”

Dream scoffs. “Oh, come on. It’s obviously mine. The pool kind of looks more like a pond, George.”

“That’s not true!”

“It is, look at it! There’s literally a duck in it right now!”

“Actually,” Daisy grins, “neither of those are my favourite. It’s this one!”

She jumps up again and runs over to her bike! It’s bright pink and blue and still has ribbon on the wheels from when she’d torn the paper off. There’s a card on the ground next to it, that reads: TO DAISY, HAPPY CHRISTMAS!! FROM BOTH OF US.

“I just learned to use Michael’s without stabilisers!” Daisy says, brimming with pride. “So when I got this, I’m gonna let Michael use it sometimes, but not Emm, ‘cause she wouldn’t let me use hers after I scratched the paint on it, but that was only because I fell. Henry and James can use it, sometimes, and Helga, but Helga can’t ride a bike. She sucks.”

“I don’t suck! Look, we’re early!” Helga yells, crashing in through the front door. Her eyes widen when she sees Dream and George there, and she promptly shoves James back through the open door, hurtling into their parents and a bemused Sam and Ponk. “Wait, wait, everyone look at me!”

Dream and George aren’t smiling anymore. Neither is Daisy. Their guests are early, and Dream is-

Dream is heading straight for the stairs before anyone can say anything, racing upstairs without a word, while George looks wildly around the room for anything that could possibly suggest Dream’s presence. They haven’t told anybody else about the fact Dream is alive again: the only person that knows is Punz, who is away right now in a snow biome trying to find enough snow to decorate the back yard. 

Who’s due to be here again? George thinks desperately. Quackity, Karl, Sapnap. Sam, Ponk. Bad, Skeppy... The kids. The kids were all coming round, their presents arranged in neat piles thanks to Daisy and Dream the night before-

“They weren’t supposed to be here yet.” Daisy whispers, voice small, scared. “Are they gonna be mad at me for finding Dream?”

“No, no,” George says automatically, mind reeling, “they won’t be mad. I mean. They will be, at me, if they find out. So let’s just not tell them yet.”

“Lie?” Daisy asks. George hesitates.

On one hand, he’s sick of hiding the truth. He and Dream have... reconciled, over the months. Things are... almost fine between them, ignoring some of the major bumps they refuse to mention or ever talk about, but they get along well - of course they do. How can they not? He and Dream and Sapnap - they’d been parts that made up a whole, and he wants to tell people, he wants people to know and just be happy. 

Except that won’t happen. He’s not naive enough to think that. This isn’t the Red Days anymore (George’s hand strays to his neck, where a thin white clean scar refuses to fade away): he knows, now, the extent of the server’s anger and unease of Dream. And more than that, he won’t put Daisy at risk. She brought Dream back to life - the last thing he wants is for the server at large to find that out. George doesn’t want to think about what they’ll do to his daughter if they do.

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly, “lie. Just for now. Go and distract the others for a bit while I tidy, right? Give me two minutes.” And then, seeing his daughter’s face- “It’ll be fine. Pinky promise.”

Biting her lip, Daisy nods resolutely. “I trust you,” she says simply, and squeezes her pinky around her dad’s, before rushing outside. The front door slams shut, and George hears her join Helga and James in distracting his friends - which buys him a few precious minutes to rid the house of anything Dream related.

Where does he start?

HOLIDAY EVENT!! As Dream, George, and Daisy celebrate Christmas, guests show up unexpectedly early, guests who don’t know about Dream’s revival. It’s up to you to make sure they don’t find out on Christmas and ruin the day for everyone involved!!

TASK ONE - George can do five things before the adults come into his house. He can move things, throw things in the trash, hide things, close doors, etc. The more tasks you get right, the less chance the others have of finding Dream! Send asks with tasks George needs to do to avoid being caught out, and save Christmas for the kids :D

Since these asks are appearing now ahfkdbksjs when you get the chance I'd love to know more about your Foolish lore!!! :D He's super interesting and I've seen in other posts you also adore him hehehehe.

What was he the god of, if he was actually the god of something. And you've said in a fic before he decided to become mortal?? When was that decision made :0 Did he and XD know each other before Foolish joined the SMP?

I just adore Foolish and I've gotten to watch some of his recent QSMP streams so I miss him extra lots ahfkbdksnsks

-emmadoodlewrites

Foolish is my number one favourite of the entire DSMP and honestly he's the only reason I stuck around and got into it so I absolutely LOVE speaking about lore for Foolish.

I think for most of it, I like keeping to Foolish's actual lore because I find his lore stuff really cool. So he's a demi-god and part shark-totem. Death and undying are part of his powers but due to fusing with a shark, he has become a demi-god of the ocean. In the AU I have it that Foolish decided to become mortal after the incident of "The Village That Went Mad" and after causing the death of so many he gave up most of his Godly powers to become mortal. HOWEVER, due to the server being more dangerous and with the Egg stuff, Foolish asked XD for help in getting his powers back. In return he build XD the statue and XD helped him unlock his immortal powers again so he could safely protect himself and his family.

He is absolutely dating Sam and Ponk and he still has his two children, Foolish JR and Finley who will be getting to fusing age soon and will be choosing an animal or element to fuse with. I'd say he was still adopted by Puffy when they met at the SMP despite Foolish being probably centuries old by then

I'd say Foolish and XD knew each other before the SMP but not interacted much. Foolish was never interested in knowing other Gods in his youth, he just wanted the power.

I do have notes about his parents and such (such as he has two mums in my hc and his God parent would be the God of Totems) but I'm always hesitant to post it because it might step over any of cc!Foolish's actual plans but tbf I don't think he's said anything about his parenthood or anything of the sort.

Warden’s Mistake

basically, one day many months back i went into a mad haze and did a lot of medical research. as i do. and then i thought too much about ‘taurs.

PLEASE keep in mind the below tws, i pulled a few punches but its still a pretty grim scene.

tws for medical equipment, unwilling hard vore, strangulation, mentions of digestion

oh and i didnt actually finish it. sorry.

The Warden is busy. The Warden cannot take visitors to the Vault.

The Warden has much work to catch up on. He cannot entertain guests, and the prisoners will not be seen at this time. He is the authority in this prison, and will not be undermined.

The Warden had… made a mistake. And is working diligently to fix it. Please do not worry, the safety and containment of the prisoners is not at risk due to this mistake. But there will be no visitors.

The Warden will not divulge as to the increase in orders of regeneration potions and will thank you for honoring his privacy in this manner. The Warden will thank you for not inquiring as to the parenteral medical structures that have been ordered and shipped into the depths of the Vault. 

Thank you.

...

He is so heavy-feeling these days. It’s so hard to focus on the paperwork in front of him, to focus on the tiny threading needles that he’s been trying so hard to figure out properly, to feel anything except the flailing inside of him that would just not stop moving.

Sam leaned heavily on his desk, front hooves arranged as comfortably as he could make them under him, and pressed his forehead against the platform with a groan. His hind-stomach whined in agreement, and he clenched it tightly. One of the prisoners stopped moving, and jabbed him in the side where it was quickly growing tender. 

“Gonna have to spit me out sometime, Warden! Looks like you can’t go on much longer like this!” he called mockingly, clear in Sam’s ears from the vibration sent up his bones. He grit his teeth. 

“I’m working on it,” he eventually said, hissing out a breath as the other prisoner twitched and pressed an elbow up against his diaphragm.

“Like you’re working on getting me out, right?” he asked. His voice was high and reedy, but at least he had stopped screaming from the experience. Was that a good thing? He decided it was a good thing.

“Yes, Tommy, I’m getting to it.” He didn’t want to really go into much detail about it, given the fact that by the very nature of all of this, he cannot keep a secret from the prisoner that he wanted to stay in. 

He tried to go back to fiddling with the Y-connector valve that was supposed to be attached into his vein. How he would be able to do that single-handed, he didn’t know yet. But that’s what he needed to figure out. Maybe he could do it along one of his front legs, so he could have access with both hands. It would be much preferable if it was closer to his heart, but he couldn’t afford to accidentally injure himself so severely. And like hell was he going to suck up his pride and ask Ponk to lend a medically-trained hand with this.

No. Best to find ways that never ever involve him again. He’ll figure this out himself.

He shifted slightly to lean some weight forward more, feeling the nauseous sensation of two bodies leaning forward as well, throwing him off-balance.

His stomach rumbled again, slow and angry now. He sent it a silent curse, and told himself that all he had to do was finish setting up the intravenous drip and it would be all fine. Keep himself tense enough to not let the prisoners slip into his hind stomach, get the drip flowing, and he won’t need to deal with the hunger any longer. It’ll be fine.

Then at long last he’ll be able to focus long enough to figure out how to get Tommy out. Nothing surgical, he can’t do that while still awake and the other prisoner could get out during the incision. Could he drop one of the prisoners into his hind stomach and attempt to regurgitate the other? No, he cannot guarantee the safety of the other, he wasn’t that good. 

He was idly thinking about maybe using a line of thread or drinking something that would only affect one of the prisoners as he pushed himself onto four feet, leaning backwards with the extra weight. What would work? 

Tommy yelped and the other prisoner thrashed and pushed himself away in that movement, snarling animalistically. He hissed low under his breath in half-hearted retaliation, but to be honest he barely listened to half the things the prisoners said. Even with their words vibrating directly into his inner ear, his head was too full of other things. He needed to work better. 

He adjusted the hanging stand of nutrient solution slash regeneration potion where it stood near his desk, and paused for a second. Would it be ok if he just… 

In a moment of weakness, he took a bottle of the excess slurry and sipped from it, and his mouth positively shouted with delight for something, anything, to salivate over. It tasted horrible, but that didn’t matter.

Then he heard twin shrieks of horror and disgust, and realized why he shouldn’t have done that. Not only was it unsanitary, it would probably mostly soak into their skins and clothes, and now he would get so little from it.

For the first couple of hours he had considered quite seriously the possibility of installing some gastric tube to transport some golden carrot mush or something that could feed the prisoners, though eventually vetoed that idea when he remembered that he had done this in the first place to ensure he was still fully functional, while able to keep an eye on the prisoners every moment. A gastric tube would definitely prevent that.

Well. It had been intended to be prisoner, singular. He wasn’t happy with what had happened - the prisoner’s desperate grab for Tommy, his distraction at just the wrong moment, and now they were stuck together and he couldn’t figure out how to get them apart from one another! His bruised organs could barely tell the difference between the two shapes anymore at this point - there was no way he could even choose which one to spit up.

He was positively drooling, holding the bottle of unappetizing pink gunk, and with a sigh he put it down and focused his attention towards the prisoners in his fore-gut. Tommy was screeching and, he could feel, desperately wiping himself down. The prisoner was hissing and trying to push himself further away. “What even was that!” He exclaimed with fury.

Abruptly, like a weight crashing down over him, Sam was just so tired of all of this. He needed to fix his hunger situation, then he needed to fix the Tommy situation, then he needed to fix the situation with the maximum security vault that required this in the first place, and then he needed to… he needed to… 

He was back down on his haunches again, blinking blearily. “Potion. Nutrients. ‘S for me.” He said. Belatedly, way too late to be any good, he remembered that some potions had a mild sedative effect, and that he had been up almost a day and a half now. He’ll have to remem’er that for when he installs the drip, prolly add some caffeine or som’n…

Sam stretched out on the dark floor, carefully adjusting his fore-gut so he wouldn’t be leaning on it , fluffed up his fur in a yawn, and fell immediately into a sleep. Not even the desperate thrashing of the prisoners could rouse him.

...

 Dream was bored and miserable and angry. No amount of fighting and pushing on Sam’s stomach all around him could dispel the angry energy, the springiness just made him even more riled up. It was dark and dank and too warm and smelled vaguely of something rotten and Tommy was shoving a knee too close to him AGAIN.

The muscles around them had gone slack. It wasn't rigid under his palms anymore, and there was a slow rise and fall of breathing near him that meant the Warden was asleep. Which meant this was his best chance of getting out of here. Or at least, getting some revenge for being shoved up again Tommy Innit for a whole day at this point.

Tommy had curled up against one of the sides at this point, leaning his head on the pinched closed portion of the stomach, where it led to… wherever else in Sam’s body. Dream didn’t know nor care about creeper anatomy. Though, if he were to guess, since he and Tommy weren’t rotting in a pool of acid here, that was probably where it actually all happened.

A thought occurred to Dream, in a flash of insight. He still had the book stashed in the depths of his inventory, and if he played his cards right he might get a little more comfort in here and an easy way to make sure he could get Tommy where he wanted him. 

He thought for a moment, then jabbed an elbow as hard as he could into Sam’s side. The creeper’s breathing barely shifted. Good. He was well and truly asleep. 

It wasn’t premeditated first-degree murder if you plan on bringing him back afterward? It’s more like… safekeeping. That sounded better. Tommy put up a fierce fight when he sprang for him, screaming and pounding on the walls around him like Sam would even be able to do anything to help him in this scenario awake, though that quickly died off when Dream’s hands were firmly around his neck. It was almost disappointingly easy, though he supposed that he had desperation on his side, and weakness from hunger on Tommy’s.

And then Tommy Innit was dead. Dream… Was a little surprised he got this far. Now he just had to… Ah, yes. 

(It turns out it is a lot harder to remove body parts when your only weapons are your hands, and your only surface for leverage is the soft smooth muscle of a stomach. It was messy, and definitely more than a little traumatizing, but well. Dream had absolutely nothing better to do with his time than try to figure out how to break open a man’s chest and pull out their heart bare-handed.

I spare ye the details.)

With the heart placed reverently in his inventory (it needed to stay safe. This was the entirety of Tommy that he had left, that he could use to bring him back. He may be unto a god, but he wasn’t about to go throwing away his guaranteed form of resurrection with something so precious as Tommy’s life. Better to be safe.) he scooted uncomfortably around the body towards the sphincter. In the blood that had dripped into the floor and Sam’s continued sleep, it had relaxed a lot. With a shove, he pushed a hand through, and could feel even hotter air on the other side. A whiff of bile hit him, and he coughed. Well, it shouldn’t be too hard to get Tommy through, it was made for this after all. 

At the low angle that Sam had rested his stomach at, it was easy to leverage the corpse up and through the sphincter, where he heard a distant splash. He turned away. Au revoir, third-life body. But not forever. 

The space now felt almost mansion-like in its expansiveness. All of this, all for him. At last. 

Dream stretched out, cracking his back as he went, and tried not to imagine the rending of flesh from bone happening inches from him. 

The eager growl of the warden’s second stomach didn’t let him forget for a moment what he did. Despite this, he fell asleep satisfied. 

…

Maybe the rest was a better idea than he thought. When Sam awoke, he felt a second wind. Things always seemed a little better in the morning, with a little caffeine - no wait, never mind, no caffeine. Not yet at least. 

He even didn't feel as ruthlessly hungry as before, which was a relief. Maybe his body would finally stop reminding him of it every five seconds now, so he could get back to working on what he needed to get done.

As he pushed himself to his feet and clenched up his gut to check on the prisoners, he wondered idly if he had gotten used to the weight of the two of them. He felt that his center of gravity had shifted backwards again a little bit, so maybe he’s just adjusted to it now. That would be handy. 

His brain, still waking up, almost didn’t catch what the muscles in his stomach did. Something was wrong. Something was different from when he went to sleep. 

He wasn’t ‘getting used to’ the weight. There was less weight. He could only feel one prisoner now. 

A growl turned into a hiss deep in his throat, and he could feel the spines on the back of his neck standing up on end where the patches of gunpowder should have been. “Prisoner!” He barked, and was rewarded with a jump from whoever was still in him. (He had a - ha - gut feeling. But please let it not be.) “Identify yourself!” 

There was a long moment of silence, then two, then. “Surprised you couldn’t tell, Warden. Can’t even keep an eye on your prisoners when they are quite literally right under your nose.”

It was the prisoner. “Where is Tommy.” He hissed, reaching for a weapon that he knows he can’t use. 

The prisoner laughed, and Sam was definitely seeing red now.

(ran out of ideas from here. sam feels Quite guilty for having accidentally killed a prisoner like that. or.. he supposes, accidentally disposing of a body.)

// SPOILERS FOR AWESAMDUDES LATEST LORE STREAM

// cw c!sam neg , critising cc!sam’s writing ? i love cc!sam and theres nothing wrong with him im just discussing the lore today because wtf im actually so disappointed in that ending, it made 0 sense?? c!sam learned nothing from his mistakes and still seemed to be making himself a victim of ponk when ponk is a victim of him, and he just learned nothing. im disappointed in the ending bc that couldve been so cool, with the different bodies, but no just a “many years later” and soemthing with boomer and then literally just 2 fucking frogs at the end and then THATS THE ENDING OF HIS ENTIRE STORY??? ik its not somethign seriosu to be mad about im just rlly disapponted tbh it couldve been so cool, he shouldve left it at c!sam dying in the egg lore finale 

A bunch of thing I noticed that I won’t go into detail on, but want to point out anyway:

* The little sun light! Sticking with the sun theme, just like the crown.

* Is Sam okay? I don’t feel like Sam is doing okay? But at least he knows that the boys are fine, which he was worried about. Not that any of them knew Phil’s plans for them included adoption (tbf, neither did Phil)

* The other flora Aimsey mentioned is their too!

* Karl being high as always.

* Schlatt and Quackity! Also, Wilbur not knowing how Quackity got in (I think). And I forgot to talk about it in part two, but Wilbur and Tommy clearly talk regularly with Quackity. So they seem to be friends. Though it could just be business since they do owe Quackity Blazinphane. Was that a one-time thing or is it a constant?

* Wilbur and Schlatt being drinking buddies still, but Phil doesn’t need to know that. It’s just a nice ‘my dad will be mad or disappointed so he can’t know’ moment.

* Both Wilbur and Tommy having coats so long they are worried about tripping and falling in their face.

* Ranboo, poor kid. He really did mess things up badly for himself, didn’t he? It’s not even necessarily the lying and reporting back, Wilbur expected him to do that. It was the genuinely not realising how wrong it was and much it would hurt Tommy. It was the trying to use Wilbur’s guilt towards Tommy to get info even if he probably genuinely cared about Tommy.

* At the same time that confrontation was probably at least a little traumatic for Ranboo and he’s now scared of Wilbur and Tommy because of the Voice. And now I do feel bad for him. While what he did was wrong (and he hopefully knows that now) he was also a kid and it’s been years.

As flame anon pointed out, a big theme of Stars is trust, loyalty, betrayal and consequences. The epilogue makes that stand out more than anything. Niki and Tubbo getting rewarded for their loyalty. Wilbur and Ranboo still facing the consequences of their past betrayals. All the loyalty pledges to the empire and Wilbur.

(2/6)

-🌲

YEAHHHH SUN THEME!! I wanted the theme of the coronation to revolve around the day/night dichotomy of eldingvegr, because it's literally a tidally-locked planet. there is no natural day/night cycle. you have one side permanently daylight, one side permanently night, and then the twilight ring. I just felt like this would play into a lot of their history and symbolism and all that so I'm glad you liked it

Sam is just depressed because he's having boyfriend problems (Ponk) he's just having a pathetic wet cat moment

yes!! although I didn't say a name, the other flora Aimsey is with is meant to be Guqqie (for those who might not know: c!aimsey was canonically romantically involved with c!guqqie on bear smp which takes place in the same universe as dsmp, and also cc!aimsey and cc!guqqie are dating irl)

karl is always high it's just his state of being

oh yeah quackity is friends with tommy and wilbur still. the blaziphane thing was just a one time thing though. they're just friends with him on their own (although wilbur is much better friends with him than tommy is). also quackity still works with phil so they see him around a lot anyway

lmao yup phil doesn't need to know he and schlatt get drunk every time wilbur visits mantle

just because the outfits look cool doesn't mean they're easy to move around in

yeahhh ranboo messed up very badly in a lot of ways. that grudge is gonna be held for a WHILE at least on wilbur's end. tommy is a bit more forgiving, but there's always gonna be a level of distrust between the brothers and ranboo (also, yes, he is scared of both of them because of their Voices)

yup!! it's very much about loyalty, trust, betrayal, and consequences. that was definitely something I wanted to get across with the epilogue. showing where everyone's actions led them and the consequences they sowed.

I've been plagued with a thought for the past week and I cant sleep because of it so now you get to hear it.

(Also I'm writing this before I go to sleep so sorry if it doesnt make sense)

im thinking about cDream in prison, completely out of it and very not lucid, probably running a fever, no actual coherent thoughts, starting to talk to Sam and accidentally giving away information he'd rather keep to himself. But it's not actually useful information like an actual line from the revive book or his future plans. It's his feelings, mostly, that he's kept to himself for so long and come spilling out like water out of a broken dam when he's not conscious enough to stop them.

It starts out with small things; he talks about missing sapnap, George. Asks Sam if he could call them there. Then it's how much he misses the sunlight, the stars, fresh air and waves. he keeps rambling when Sam comes in to clean the cell, change the cauldrons water, maybe to give him food. He doesnt want to listen, it's another trick to get sympathy from him, surely, Dream would never let himself be vulnerable, even like that.

Sam never pays him any attention, never responds or even looks at his direction, never rewarding him with the response he clearly wants. Tells him to shut up a few times even, and Dream mumbles an apology that's barely heard.

Until during one of Dream's ramblings, talking with slurred words about how he "misses Alyssa, Bad, and Ponk..." he mentions that he misses Sam. Says it so easily, like it doesnt make the warden stop in his tracks, all attention focused on him for the first time.

Dream slurs on about how Sam gave him potatoes and gave him clocks when he burned them - "I burned my clocks so he'd come talk to me," he interrupts himself with a sound close to a giggle, "He- he had to give me a new clock, and he'd... he'd give me clocks, but then he didn't." Dream turns to look up at the wall, at the empty item frame and his face scrunches up with an emotion Sam can't name, "He... I don't have a clock." He looks sad "oh.."

Sam actually starts listening then, unable to stop himself. "We made the community house and I made the basement, we had a golem too." And Dream laughs, he always laughs like nothing's wrong when he's like this, his voice is raspy and it must be hurting to speak. "We had a farm on the water and George and Sapnap were fighting and I stopped them." He sighs, "I want to see Sapnap. Can you... can you call him here?"

So yea I have been thinking about this for so long and I kinda wrote a mini fic here, sorry about that, I actually wrote more but cut them because it was getting too long but. I'm thinking about him talking about how he had to be the villain and why he had to wear the mask so they could be a family and slowly revealing more like the fact that the betrayal with punz was staged and how he built the prison for himself, that it was him who was supposed to be there from the beginning and I'm going mad.

Goodnight and also take your time to answer I know how stupid school is :/

I have basically read this and re read this a dozen times since you sent it because I can picture it so well and it hurts

The idea of c!Dream who can't and won't ever give up the most crucial information but who's still tortured and desperate and lonely

Who as time passes opens up to say things he normally wouldn't

And c!Sam who straight up refuses to believe him because it's way too much on him if he does believe him

It's so good dude I love this

Now I am also thinking your thoughts I am consuming them now

mmmm do i actually know enough about monopoly to try to write the eggpire playing it......... bad would hoard cards of one color but skeppy would get one of them and refuse to give it to him no matter what and theyd spend the entire game fighting over it and forgetting about everyone and everything else. bad tries to come up with fake rules but is super obvious about it while antfrost comes up with them on the spot and no one else knows enough about the game to question him. ponk adamantly claims that bads rules are real and that many of the actual game rules are fake, eventually coming up with house rules that change every time they play. punz plays almost normally and has an actual strategy but still loses to hannah who is absolutely RUTHLESS but so nice about it and enjoying herself so much that no one can get mad at her. when sam is there they make him handle the money because theyve all tried but whoever is looking after it WILL cheat with it. sam picks and chooses on the spot who he wants to help cheat and if he wants someone to lose he’ll very loudly accuse them of trying to steal money and not let it go for anything. whether he encourages cheating or is adamantly against it depends entirely on the day. foolish joins once, wins on accident without cheating but with RIDICULOUS luck, and is never invited again. ponk chases him out with a broom when he tries to protest being kicked out for winning. 

More DSMP Blade System AU Red Banquet details! We'll start with who got invited and why.

c!Sam and c!Puffy got invited because they are the driving force behind Pro-Omlette and the Egg wants to shut that down hard.

c!Ponk gets invited to mess with Sam. Oh, he joined the Egg's side and is a spy? Well, that'll just mess with Sam even more!

c!Niki basically got invited for the same reason, except they're trying to get to Puffy. The Egg did not know about the Syndicate or realize that Niki was close to Techno, or they would've had her stay home.

c!Foolish getting invited messing with Puffy is more of a bonus than anything. The Egg has heard about his search for godhood and got curious.

c!Sapnap gets invited because he is one of the few ties that c!Ant, c!Bad, and c!Skeppy still have to the rest of the DreamSMP. Controlling him will make them easier to influence. Bad was able to wriggle out of this, but it did make a good excuse to get Punz out of the way for a bit, and the roses c!Hannah has helped plant around Kinoko Kingdom are enough of a timebomb/trap to satisfy it for now.

c!Eret got invited because they are the King, even if the King doesn't really have any power. The Egg likes breaking things, and Eret's sense of self and purpose would be an easy one. Eret is also vocally Pro-Omlette, more than several of the others.

c!George, c!Ranboo, and c!Purpled are where things get complicated.

c!Ranboo has occasionally turned up where the Egg can observe him as ew!Ranboo, complete with a Resonance with c!Dream (they were testing if Blades can switch Drivers without reverting to core crystal). The next day, the Egg observed c!Punz as being in a chain Resonance with Dream, and Purpled as the Driver at the head of that. Since none of the Eggpire know about the Memory Patch, or that Dream is volunteering for these experiments, it looks pretty sus. Like, killing a newly Awakened Blade maybe a day after you Resonated with them and they're still in the blind obedience phase. Multiple times. Over a short period. Like, bad and Skeppy don't really have their own thoughts or even private thoughts anymore, but their outsider perspective absolutely has them interpreting it as an abusive relationship, as far as Blades go. Shutting that down and maybe getting access to Dream is why Ranboo gets an invite.

Purpled did not get invited to the Red Banquet so they could kill him. On the contrary, the Egg wants to basically imprison him right next to it and the altar, so that when the Egg gets the powerups from the murder, Purpled is getting splashover effects from this. If that is not enough to corrupt him, the Egg has...

George! Who is slated to get murdered last in the program of events. See, DreamXD is being much more subtle with George as compared to c!Karl. The Egg does not know they are in contact. The Eggpire is made in large part from the original friend group, and they all know how DNF is. George is slated to get murdered last, and if Purpled hasn't joined the Eggpire yet, they are going to tell George that they are doing this because they are trying to reclaim Dream (from Purpled specifically). The idea is to get George mad enough and out of sorts enough that he comes back and succumbs to the Egg. Then they can send Eggpire!George out to retrieve Dream. They'll still be out Punz, but if they have Purpled and then Dream's core crystal, the Egg assumes that Punz will willingly walk into a trap so they can kill him and get him reAwakened by another Eggpire member.

Other non-invite details under the cut:

The new timeline has the Red Banquet taking place late June, early July. Because of that, c!Quackity has already found and Awakened c!Slimecicle as his Blade. c!Slimecicle is noteworthy in that he is the original volunteer for the Blade Memory Patch project, and is a bit weird for a Blade as a result. He's classified as a tank/lightning Blade, and I want to say he is more of the "debuff the enemy" type of a tank than a "absorb all hits" type.

Slime's Soul Weapon is a sword. His core crystal is green, though not quite the same shade as Dream. Since both Blade and Driver can carry and use the Soul Weapon, Quackity comes to the Red Banquet with a sword with glowing green aether lines. He is bluffing on the idea that he has found Dream and Awakened Dream. It very nearly causes a fight with Techno when Quackity goes to recruit him. It does cause a fight with Sam, after the rescuing is done and the Eggpire is running. Quackity is outed as being a Driver to a Blade, though he does not say who the Blade is, other than Not Dream.

The Red Banquet is actually when a lot of people find out about the Blades on the server. Skeppy lets loose from where he's sitting on top of the Egg. He's tossing around homing arrows and Shredding Winds. Unfortunately, the close quarters makes Meteor Storm nonviable. Techno uses his basic shuffle technique to raise barriers of dirt and stone for protection. This is the first time most of the attendees have seen Skeppy let loose and the first time anyone has seen Techno pull out the magic. Techno even goes so far as to pull his Soul Weapon, and the two wreck the place quite a bit before the Eggpire retreats. Suddenly, Quackity and George are recalculating a lot of things that they thought they knew about Techno.

In the aftermath, Quackity's going to have a lot of fear about how easily Techno could've wrecked L'Manberg, the mysteries of why he didn't, and what that means for Las Nevadas. Sam starts thinking that Techno is just a bit too dangerous, but he doesn't know who the Driver in this relationship is because he is aware that c!Philza is also a Blade. George is going to be comforted a little by the fact that Dream didn't ditch him to go be Techno's Blade, but that doesn't help the overall feeling of abandonment caused by Dream being dead and missing.

~

Sapnap and Punz are sparring in Kinoko Kingdom to make up for missing the banquet. After a fairly simple exchange, Punz stumbles and drops his sword. Sapnap thinks he might've really hurt him by accident, but Punz isn't looking at Sapnap. Punz is looking towards the Eggpire, and his face his pained. Sapnap has never seen him looks like this before.

"Purpled?" It's gasped, like Punz has no air left in his lungs. One arm wraps around his stomach like he's clutching a wound. The other reaches towards a gleam of blue at the base of his throat. Punz glimmers and is gone, snuffed out like a candle, and an indigo core crystal hits the ground where he was standing.

Sapnap is torn up about this. He keeps losing his people. Bad and Skeppy have a cult and he is apparently not welcomed. Ant has sided with Bad and Skeppy. Red is dead. Dream is dead, more recently, and his core crystal is missing. Alyssa left. He never sees Callahan. Quackity left, too. Karl is forgetting things. And George has been sleeping every since Dream. And now Punz?

On one hand, the right thing to do would be to track down Purpled and give him Punz's core crystal. On the other hand--Sapnap doesn't really know Purpled. He didn't know Punz was a Blade, let alone his Driver. He doesn't know where Purpled can be found. Can't he keep just one friend? Even if the Punz he Awakens from the core crystal is not the Punz he just lost, it will still be Punz.

Core crystals usually take about 3 days before they can be Awakened again. At least Sapnap has a little time to think on it.

anyone who doesnt watch ponk sam and foolish are missing out because they are in the weirdest most dramatic love triangle and it's like a soap opera but pettier