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cherry-interlude · 3 years

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Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranking (5)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the fifth of five posts, with my favourites.

Wild One

Lana is nostalgic without the sadness, remembering how she’d shake it for Mike but is embracing her freedom. She lets country influence seep through her voice and her uncomplicated instrumentals – it would be an unsurprising addition to Chemtrails

True Love On The Side

Though simple in structure and lyrics, it’s more Lana’s grittier rock sound and her incredible vocals that make this one of my favourite unreleased tracks. Lana lets herself go and goes full pop rock chick for this track, whilst keeping in with her ‘other woman’ trope that makes the song still familiar despite its departure from her usual music.

Driving In Cars With Boys

Dripping in nostalgia, Driving In Cars With Boys makes you yearn for the kind of 1950s/1960s era Lana often laments over. Lana is a bad girl just having fun, doing what she pleases and giving in to her vices, and it’s this kind of song that is relatable in its escapism and desire to just do what you please. There are two versions, one with a more monotone chorus that matches the rest of the verses and another where Lana sings in a higher register, letting her cheerful, breezy love for driving with the boys shine through in her vocals.

Angels Forever Forever Angels

Perfect for Paradise, Angels Forever Forever Angels has that slow, rhythmic summer drive feel, a relaxed version of Ride which also has associations with the bikers that feature in both the music video for Ride and the lyrics to this unreleased song. It’s dreamy but grounded by Lana’s patriotic love for the grungier side of Americana.

Hollywood

It has a breathy chorus you could sing to, the feeling of a summer evening and blue skies. The ever building and dropping beat that keeps the song ticking as restlessly as Lana’s hopes and dreams gets me feeling pumped as much as her emphasised, dragged out “Hollywood” in the chorus makes me soothed. Lana is wishing for fame and fortune but it has the feel of an eighties American teen movie, iconic and deserving of a cult following.

Yes To Heaven

Hazy like a daydream, Yes To Heaven is made of sunlight and soft grass, closer to nature than the spotlights of Lana’s often alcohol-soaked, money drenched stages. Lana’s voice is tentative until it shimmers in the chorus, and though it was made for Ultraviolence, it wouldn’t be out of place on the shining beacon of hope that is Lana’s positive turn, Lust For Life.

Life Is Beautiful

This gorgeous song was intended for Age of Adaline’s trailer, and it’s been years of waiting for the full song to be released. Now we have it, it’s certainly worth the wait. Dreamy and soft, this track is a timeless classic that could underwhelm from it’s gentle feel but works perfectly well as a pure little love song.

On Our Way

Stripped back and with a country twang, Lana doesn’t add fuss and frills to this song, instead just crooning precisely how she feels in the kind of song that keeps you daydreaming for hours. Not even the smattering of her favourite imagery (Chevrolets and K-Mart lip gloss) overshadows the love that’s at the forefront of this track.

Never Let Me Go

Like On Our Way, Never Let Me Go has the country twang and stripped back feel that makes this a more subdued song, her lyrics shining even more. Lana’s additional strings layer this song well and her comparisons to the dangerous couple that is Sid and Nancy gives this track an edge, keeping it from being too frothy.

French Restaurant

A piano ballad, Lana strips back the hurt of Without You and dual dedication of Video Games to sing about how fame matters so little to her while she’s torn between two men. Her voice is beautiful and it does well to be so minimal in its production, her emotion driving the song clearly enough. Especially pretty are the backing vocals of the choruses, echoes of her thoughts that hammer home her broken feelings.

Trash Magic

Lana’s delicate and soft vocals help tie into the Lolita-esque character Lana often plays in her music. It has a similar feel to 1949, dripping with her delicious imagery, and wouldn’t be out of place on AKA Lizzy Grant. Lana is the fragile ‘daddy’s girl’ again in this song, and the sharp yet soothing music in the background sets the tone for a quiet trailer park night.

Us Against The World

Though fairly chilled out, Lana still hooks listeners with her characterisation of waitress by day/stripper by night, a dangerous girl tempting an equally dangerous guy. Lana drips sexiness in this song and though it’s not as exciting as some of her other unreleased pop hits, it is perfect for the Del Rey character.

Your Girl

Much like Caught You Boy, Lana is desperate for a man she can’t have but is instead a complete wreck. Lana just repeats over and over how she wishes she was this man’s girl, practically pleading after describing how she needs to be led off the stage from falling apart. Yet it’s still sultry, still passionate, and is topped off by her honey-like vocal demonstration in the bridge and the chorus.

Roses

Lana is the other woman with a twist – instead of moping about her man (Other Woman, Sad Girl) she is taking action. Fighting against him, not letting him go without making some noise and getting rid of his girlfriend, Lana storms into the song with a vengeful wrath and calls him out for his poor attempts at apologies. When this song first came out, I adored it, since it was the exact kind of strong-girl track I wanted from her with a great hook and all the right Lana-isms. Now, I still get that thrill listening to this song and its kick-ass fuck-you to the man she loves.

Playing Dangerous

The churning drums, the spoken verses and the coy vocals set this song apart from her others. It falls shorter during the choruses, the verses being the best parts of the track, but the way Lana interacts with the listener ultimately and is a more direct character of ‘innocent’ seductress who might actually be downright bad (arson is hinted).

Serene Queen

Lana is unbothered and unruffled, as collected as she is in Put Your Lips Together but this time with a definite Ultraviolence/Honeymoon feel. Lana is unshaken by the blazing guns, instead completely calm with her dangerous lover, questioning why he even has a problem in the first place. As it picks up in the chorus, almost smirking, it becomes one of her finer unreleased songs yet.

Ave Maria

This is just an instrumental but there’s something so beautifully haunting about it. It wouldn’t be out of place in a Hollywood movie, with shades of the Lolita soundtrack instantly coming to mind when it first starts. It even works well without singing, and I hope we get a full version soon.

Puppy Love

From the perspective of a Marilyn Monroe figure, Lana plays the teenage girl wishing for a traditional romance with her lover. It’s ever-so-adorable, harking back to the sweeter parts of the fifties, but there’s a sense of sadness throughout it. Under the surface of the puppy love is the reality that the references to Monroe do not forget her sadness, loneliness and ultimately her overdose. The tone shifts to such an unhappiness in the bridge, directly calling back to Monroe’s phone call shortly before she overdosed, twisting the song to something more melancholic.

Cherry Blossom

The lullaby that grew into the marvellous, completed Cherry Blossom is a lovely tribute to someone small and beloved. Though Lana doesn’t have children yet, the care in her voice and each of her heart-warming compliments and promises is still thoroughly enjoyable – and comforting.

Colour Blue

In a song that reminds me of the love/hate relationship of Norman Fucking Rockwell, Lana takes her time to question why she loves the men that she does and, ultimately, grow from it, beginning to want something different. It’s raw and personal, with a gushing chorus that is complimented fully by the guitar. This song is blue all over, from Lana's opening harmonisation to her abrupt, unhappy ending.

Paradise

This song is, of course, pure paradise. A summery beat, a flippant Lana simply enjoying her lover no matter how long she’ll have him for and her coos of “sick!” and “that’s dope!” make this into a tasty distraction fit for the sunny months. Her casualness in this track is fresh as well as the dance-happy music that she doesn’t often create in her albums.

Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight

Lana is the waitress with a crush in this bop of a track, trying to convince a guy to get with her instead of that “bitch”. Convincing she is, as she uses all of her charm, wit and insistence that there’s no promises behind her intentions to have a good time with him. It’s just a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of her music, not too heavy and perfectly polished. It’s self-assured as much as it is breezy, and calm as it is it’s still a riot to listen to.

Caught You Boy

A dream-esque confession of desire, obsession and pure, crazy love, Lana isn’t outright insane in this track (Kinda Outta Luck, Jealous Girl, Serial Killer) but she hints towards being slightly too attached to her beau and describing herself as an army of one. The song is sweet and flowery but there’s a sadness and danger to it that keeps it from being too sugary.

Fine China

Some of Lana’s best lyrics are in Fine China as she sings of her fractured relationship, unhappy wedding and many beautiful yet easily broken things. It’s a slow, unfussy ballad but her strong voice and stunning lyrics make it so much more than a throwaway unreleased song.

Thunder

What feels like a coming-of-age slow dance song but is ultimately a choir-backed break-up track. Lana’s lyrics are clever and her voice is the perfect complement to The Last Shadow Puppets, this combined work a sure hit that deserves some kind of release and recognition. Lana is frustrated but tender as she leads the song with plenty of presence.

Prom Song Gone Wrong

The fifties feel, the teenage romance, the warm and gorgeous vocals that switch from dreamily longing to a cheeky talk-rap suggest this is a song tied tightly to Puppy Love, except with a more hopeful feel to it. Lana is ready to leave and she wants her lover to come with her, and even if it’s a youthful mistake there’s no mistaking that the love she – and her man – feels is real. It’s a pretty dedication to the kind of head-spinning romance of younger years, though it has an edge to it. Lana’s choruses are desperate, her pleading genuine and the strange way the music builds and collapses right at the end give the illusion all isn’t the sunshine and rainbows Lana sings of – and hopes for.

#lana del rey #lana del rey songs #lana del rey unreleased #cherry-interlude

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sleepawaywriting · 4 years

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Mornings, Part I

[Piers x Reader, NSFW]

okay so this is half domestic headcanons, half unadulterated horniness. i love the goth boy okay I JUST WANT HIM TO GET SOME SLEEP.

NSFW (18+) UNDER THE CUT

You learn a lot about a person by sleeping with them. In your case, literally. Sleeping next to someone can be an exercise in trust, as it can be extremely vulnerable, and potentially disastrous. After all, you never know who you truly are while asleep until someone is there to bear witness. You could see everything: their nightly routine, their little habits and quirks. What did they prefer to wear, if they wore anything at all? How did they wind down? How did they get comfortable? Did they read? Listen to music? Did they prefer one pillow, or two, or ten? Did they surround themselves in a cocoon of blankets, or sleep completely uncovered, mocking the monsters under the bed? Did they stir at the slightest disturbance, or could they sleep through the end of the world? Were they restless in their slumber, or still as the grave? Did they snore? Did they talk? Did they steal blankets in the night, or did they cling to their partners? You personally found all of these details fascinating. It was as if the other person was sharing a special part of themselves, a part not too often seen by others.

You especially appreciated it now, as you dozed in-and-out of consciousness on a warm, cozy Sunday morning, lying entangled in the slender arms of your loving boyfriend. Your mind tended to wander on mornings like this, when you had no duties, no obligations, and could simply bask in the comforting presence of your slumbering musician. You thought it was funny, how you personally had very little change in your own sleeping habits since dating the ex-Gym Leader, despite your newly-inherited responsibilities as the Champion of Galar. Piers, on the other hand, had gone through an entire circadian metamorphosis since the two of you became intimate. Before you had moved into his flat in Spikemuth—a shocking and borderline scandalous development in your relationship, as far as the tabloids were concerned (you rarely paid them too much mind)—and before he had stepped down as Spikemuth’s Gym Leader, you were amazed if he managed to sleep more than four hours a night. You had an idea of how rarely he slept before you started dating—after all, why else would he send you texts in the dead of night and wee hours of the morning? But it wasn’t until after the two of you began sleeping together that you fully understood the extent of Piers’ problems. He had insomnia, that much was clear, and tended to become restless in the hours that you normally retired to bed. He claimed that all of his best ideas came to him late in the night, and would spend hours scribbling in his trusty journal while you cluelessly snoozed away next to him. Upon discovering this, you felt somewhat guilty, but he assuaged your worries by waxing poetic about how your soothing presence provided him with endless inspiration—that even while asleep, you helped organize his frenzied, haphazard thoughts long enough to translate them into song (and no matter how many times he admitted it, hearing how much you effected his music never failed to make you blush like a starstruck teen).

After moving in together, and as your domestic routines began to blend, so did your sleeping habits. It was surprisingly easy to get Piers into bed with you, you discovered. You simply had to tip-toe down to his basement studio and subdue him with a gentle kiss to the neck, along with some soft words teasing the shell of his ear. Though your schedules were not entirely in sync, as you had very different jobs, your sleepless songbird was finally getting some well-deserved rest. Gone were the mornings spent opening Spikemuth’s Gym, and spending most of the day prepping Gym Trainers, training Pokemon, and fighting rambunctious, overly-confident Gym Challengers, who often underestimated the rockstar’s abilities, much to your frustration. Now that he was a full-time musician, his workday didn't begin until late into the afternoon, and his concerts would often go late into the night. During your busiest times, when your Champion duties required you to be up at sunrise, you would have to bow out early most nights, feeling guilty when you could only support your boyfriend’s gigs about half of the time. Of course, in typical Piers fashion, he was endlessly understanding, and there was nothing quite as sweet as the feeling of going to bed alone, only to wake up and find him exhaustedly cuddled up next you, face buried into your chest or the small of your back (along with your menagerie of Pokemon, which, due to many of them being simultaneously competitive and cuddly, the two of you had to make a schedule for which Pokemon got to share the bed on certain nights).

You never expected Piers to be such a massive cuddler, but you very much welcomed it. At the beginning of your relationship, you suspected that Piers was averse to touch, as he tended to tense or not entirely reciprocate when you first began kissing or embracing him. You soon discovered that this was far from the truth, and that the poor guy simply wasn’t used to the type of affection you so enthusiastically showered upon him. Once the two of you lived together, it became increasingly obvious that he adored and craved your touch, often snuggling up against you and draping his arms around you when asleep. You also learned, that despite having trouble falling asleep, once Piers was securely in dreamland, it was almost impossible to wake him. On most mornings, escaping his Bewear-like grasp was your first Champion challenge of the day. On top of being a heavy sleeper, he was also a heavy sleep-talker. This rarely bothered you, in fact, you enjoyed having full conversations with him while he was none the wiser, with topics ranging from Marnie’s homework, Obstagoon’s yearly PokeCenter check-up, scheduling future gigs (he often mistook you for his manager in his sleep-addled stupor), and other silly, mundane things. He never remembered any of it, no matter how much you tried to jog his memory (he once mumbled out an imaginary itinerary for your future wedding—you never told him this, but it was a secret you held near and dear to your heart). There were many mornings where you would lie next to him, mindlessly scrolling through your phone or checking your emails, only for him to jolt half-awake, ask you, groggily, to write something down (usually an idea for a song), then immediately plop back down onto his pillow, snoring comically.

Those mornings were much like this one: quiet, unassuming—where you would debate for several minutes on whether you were gracious enough to let him sleep in, or impatient enough to wake him. You weren’t exactly in a hurry to get out of bed, as this was one of your rare days off, and the warmth radiating from Piers’ body, the welcoming scent of his lingering cologne, and the light pitter-patter of rain on the roof of the massive structure overhanging Spikemuth was enough to tempt you back into sleep. Your head rested under your boyfriend’s chin, your face close to the base of his neck, and you gently brought one hand up to trace a finger along the smooth metal of his collar, which he rarely removed. You weren’t sure if it was because he never wanted to, or if he simply forgot it was there, and either sounded like him, if you were being honest. Yawning quietly, you nudged your head back, wanting to get a better view of Piers’ sleeping face. Your bedroom happened to have a window facing the outside of Spikemuth’s container, allowing the diffused morning light to bathe your room in an overcast veil. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, despite his perpetually-grumpy expression still present, if somewhat more relaxed. You smiled to yourself, remembering when you first admitted to him, early in your friendship, that you assumed he hated you because of how he always seemed to look annoyed around you. “Hate to break it to ya, love, but that’s just my face,” he said then, making you feel embarrassed for assuming the worst about him, but also somewhat flustered that he referred to you as “love”. Back then, you wanted to write it off as one of his many Spikemuth-isms—that perhaps it was just a more casual nickname where he was from—but here you were, proven wrong.

Sighing softly, you looked over his sleeping form, admiring the way the stormy glow highlighted his features. You had always found him both incredibly adorable and handsome, despite the things he would say about himself in hushed tones on his worst days. His large, sad blue eyes, though closed for now, paired nicely with his high cheek bones and dark, striking eyebrows. You drew the tip of your index finger down the bridge of his nose, slightly crooked from the handful of times he had broken it in his youth, through back-alley scuffles and far-too-wild concerts. You tried not to giggle when the muscles in his face twitched as you reached the tip, giving it an extra boop for good measure. And, of course, you loved his mouth, the way his lips felt so soft and inviting against your own, the way they curled into the most adorable little smiles. The way they felt against your skin, at your wrists, the dip of your neck, across your shoulders, between your breasts, down your stomach, flush against your sensitive, needy heat, along with his overly-generous tongue.

Oh.

Suddenly and without warning, you really wanted him. Biting your lip, you didn’t wish to disturb the musician’s peaceful slumber, nor did you want him to spend the energy on reciprocating, which you knew he would insist upon (it was difficult to get him to be the least bit selfish about his own pleasure). Not to mention, you were still fairly groggy yourself, but you were equally as longing for your boyfriend, and the way his body would react to your loving, methodical touches, the way his beautiful voice would sound upon waking up in the throes of pleasure. Then, you remembered something. It was an idea the two of you had discussed before, whispers of heated fantasies in the dead of night, something that you had been waiting to act upon, but only at the right time, when it would truly be a surprise. Well, now was as good a time as any, you thought, smiling mischievously to yourself.

Ever-so-slowly, you wriggled out of Piers’ all-encompassing grasp, trying desperately not to laugh at how ridiculous you looked—arms firmly pressed to your sides, legs squeezed together, shifting yourself to-and-fro like a newly-hatched Caterpie. Once free, you sat up on your knees, careful to not shake the bed with your movements. Next came the difficult part, you thought, as he was on his side, and you needed him to be on his back for your plan to work. Placing one hand gently on his shoulder, and the other on his hip, you subtly began nudging him onto his back. You almost startled when he suddenly moved, shifting onto his back of his own accord. You winced internally, fully prepared for him to stir awake and be reasonably confused as to why you were leaning over him, but he quickly settled back into sleep, completely oblivious to the waking world. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, smiling at the silly, dramatic, sprawled-out position you boyfriend had assumed.

Carefully, you straddled his waist, making sure to place most of your weight onto your knees. Since the weather was getting warmer, even in the rainy, coastal town of Spikemuth, the both of you were sparsely clothed, with Piers completely bare, save for a thin pair of briefs. Looking him over, you watched the slow rise-and-fall of his chest, and admired the way his long, thick, two-toned hair cascaded down his pillow, descending into rivulets of stark white and midnight black against your bedsheets. He had just showered the previous night, which meant it was extra soft and fluffy, and just messy enough to make him look even more attractive, without risk of becoming a tangled mess. From your angle, you took the time to appreciate his slender frame, which you found endlessly attractive. You loved everything about him, from his prominent collarbones, to his flat chest, to the slight indents of his ribcage traveling down to the smooth plane of his abdomen, punctuated by his sharp hip bones. It took everything in you to not draw your hands up his torso, feeling every muscle and the occasional edge of bone beneath your eager touch. You frowned slightly, remembering how he would occasionally jab at himself, stating that he looked like a skeleton or a walking corpse at times. Though you knew he was joking, at least for the most part, you were adamant on reminding him just how much you adored his body, which was something that simultaneously baffled and flattered him. Your effortless and brutally honest compliments never failed to turn him sheepish, avoiding your gaze and hiding his warm cheeks behind his long, thick bangs. And you would keep reminding him, again and again, that he was plenty attractive, even if you needed to give him a a few more hands-on demonstrations to prove it, which you were more than happy to provide.

Taking a deep breath, you leaned over him, slowly placing your hands on either side of his head. Leaning down, you simply couldn’t resist brushing your lips against his own, just the softest, feather-light touch, holding yourself back from diving in and kissing him blissfully awake. Moving down, you grazed your lips across his neck, planting a gentle kiss at the base, right beneath his choker, noting the faint, yet sharp scent of leftover hair product, and the smooth, silky scent of mild soap. You left a trail of soft kisses across his collarbone, smiling into his skin as you noticed goosebumps appearing at your touch, then moved down to his chest, leaving a few kisses over his sternum before boldly swiping your tongue over one of his nipples. He flinched, and you looked up at his face, fearing the worst, but he simply turned his head to the side and settled back into sleep, breathing deeply. You could have imagined it, but you thought his cheeks took on a slightly rosy tint, contrasting with his normally pale complexion.

Continuing your journey downward, you lavished his soft belly with loving kisses and the occasional warm, gentle sweep of your tongue. Reaching the top of his hips, you nuzzled the soft, dark hair trailing down from his navel into the waistband of his briefs, before shifting your body down between his knees. You gingerly spread his thighs apart with your fingertips, lying down onto your stomach and slowly shimmying yourself forward, fitting comfortably between his long legs. Kissing up his soft inner thighs, you began to apply more pressure, teasing the sensitive skin with the edges of your teeth. You journeyed further upward, sucking on a particularly sensitive patch of skin that made his legs twitch beneath you. Hearing him exhale, you looked up, noticing as his breathing became slightly more labored. With a satisfied grin, you reached up with one hand, lightly palming the growing bulge beneath the soft fabric of his briefs. You adored the way Piers’ body reacted to even the slightest, most teasing touches, and the fact that you could make him feel so good so easily was a massive turn-on. It certainly helped boost your confidence—not to mention, seeing the handsome musician thoroughly enjoy himself never failed to make you weak in the knees.

It only took a few moments for your boyfriend to grow hard and wanting beneath your ministrations. You released him from his briefs, taking a moment to admire his cock in all its unapologetic glory. You suddenly remembered his reaction to you the first time you saw it. You must have been making some kind of face, because he immediately interjected with, “It’s not that big, is it?”, to which you replied, “Oh, ‘It’s not that big, is it?’,” playfully mocking his accent for good measure, “Mr. Humble over here with ‘It’s not that big’. Seriously?” you smiled and rolled your eyes as your boyfriend laughed. You then told him it was pretty, which made him laugh even harder, but you were being completely serious. It was big, as in long, but not too girthy, and as pale as he was, save for the last half, which was flushed pink (it was actually quite similar to the rest of him, now that you thought about it). It also never failed to make you feel so full and satisfied, hitting all the spots inside of you that made you whimper and squirm. You wanted to be re-acquainted, preferably soon, but for now, you had other plans.

You decided to tease him a little more before fully indulging yourself, drawing the soft pad of your index finger up the underside of his shaft before circling it around the tip, taking your sweet time to feel every dip and curve. His breathing grew heavier, and now you could see that his cheeks were fully flushed, his brow tensing slightly as you all but tickled his aching cock. Licking a stripe up your hand, you gently wrapped it around him, keeping your grip loose enough as to not overwhelm his senses right away. Stroking him slowly, you lavished the rest with gentle kisses, reveling in the way his hips twitched and his breath stuttered once you began swirling your tongue around the tip. He was so warm, and you felt him throb beneath your hand, his hips practically jolting in place when you gave the tip a generous squeeze. You briefly wondered if he was dreaming, and if so, if he was dreaming about you.

Watching, enamored, as the tip began to leak clear pre-cum, you felt a hunger welling up deep within your chest and between your legs. You slowly began to take him into your mouth, securely holding his hips down in case he unconsciously thrusted up inside of you (though you weren’t opposed to the idea, you didn’t want him to wake up to the sound of you gagging). You took him down about half way, before delaying his gratification by withdrawing and, again, swirling your tongue around the tip. His entire body shifted this time, a soft, tired, breathless moan escaping his lips, sending a sharp pang of arousal deep into your lower belly. Your brain grew foggy, a wave of lust and adoration clouding your thoughts as you took him all the way, brow furrowed in concentration, wrangling in your gag reflex once the tip hit the back of your throat. He moaned again, and if it wasn’t the most beautiful, erotic sound. His voice was already gorgeous under normal circumstances, but especially in the morning, when it was tinged with the slightest bit of gravel and honey-like richness. It made you feel hopelessly needy, your own arousal, slick and hot, pooling between your thighs.

You continued with the same action, slowly taking him until he hit the back of your throat, then withdrawing, listening intently to the way his moans became more haggard and desperate—until about the fifth time, when you pulled him in completely, daring to swallow around him and practically choke yourself on his cock. You heard him gasp, a startled moan escaping him as you felt a hand grip the back of your head. Well, good morning, you thought, trying not to smile or laugh with a cock stuffed halfway down your throat. You drew up off of him, your eyes connecting with his sparkling blue ones, his pupils blown wide, noting how his adorable flush had spread up to his ears and down his neck. Before he could say anything, you took him again, setting a more intense pace now that he was awake.

“Fuck—,” he groaned loudly, hips stuttering as he carded his long, slender fingers through your hair, his other hand clinging to the one holding his hip. You laced your fingers through his own as you drew up off of him again, sucking on the tip almost obscenely before licking a firm stripe up the underside of his shaft.

“So good, love,” he praised, shuddering as he threw his head back onto the pillows, taking a handful of your hair and tugging slightly. Pulling him back into the slick heat of your mouth, you moaned around him, his breathless praise making your heart flutter. Feeling him throb inside of you, you moaned again, breathing out through your nose, before bracing yourself and taking him as far as you could go, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. He practically convulsed, making a delicious choked, startled noise when you felt him spill down your throat—hot, musky, and not entirely unpleasant. He held your head firm to him as he rode out his orgasm, a string of curses, praises, and broken moans leaving his exhausted body, before you tapped him twice on the hip, indicating that you needed to breathe.

“Ah, sorry—!” he startled, releasing you as you practically gasped for air, settling back onto your knees. He leaned up, reaching out to cradle your face with one hand, drawing a thumb along your cheekbone before hooking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His gentle touch made you shudder, closing your eyes as you steadied your breathing. Upon hearing your name, you opened them again, your heart swelling at your boyfriend’s tired gaze and dopey, lovestruck grin.

“I… I just—,” he started, stumbling over his syllables, drawing a hand back through his messy hair, “You— you’re so— ah, fuck it,” he gave up on words and decided to just pull you up into his lap instead. You laid on top of him, chest flush against his own as he drew you into a lazy, tender kiss, and you couldn’t help but hum at the way he slid his tongue lovingly between your lips. Cradling your chin, he broke the kiss, staring deep into your eyes.

“I love you,” he practically whispered, and you felt your face heat under his intense gaze. Suddenly feeling shy, despite the filthy things you just did to him, you hid your face into the crook of his neck.

“I… I love you too,” you squeaked. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you, and you could feel the vibrations of his voice beneath your flushed cheeks.

Sighing, you settled into him, listening to the rain and breathing in his warm scent as he came down from his high. You had almost dozed off again when he suddenly spoke.

“Ya know, if ya want me to do somethin’ for ya, I could—“

“Not right now,” you hummed, pressing a soft kiss to his neck, “Can we just stay like this, for a while?”

“Of course,” he replied, voice gentle and smooth as silk. He felt you smile against him, before you yawned dramatically, nuzzling further into him. He began tracing soothing circles into your back, sending tingles down your spine, and you quickly fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.

#piers x reader #piers pokemon x reader #piers #piers pokemon #swsh #pokemon sword #pokemon shield #pokemon piers x reader #pokemon piers #pokemon

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blackswaneuroparedux · 4 years

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Anonymous asked: Do the intellectual elites basically set the direction of how society thinks? Over the centuries, the general public has followed philosophical trends in the academic world so how do these beliefs and academic theories filter down into the mainstream? Is there anything we can do to stop it?

It may seem like in our current turbulent times that the elites do the thinking for the masses. And if one stands back to look at the flash points of intellectual history that indeed feels true. But equally one can stand back and ask critically if this is really so?

Who are you actually talking about? Who are these intellectual elites? I dislike these generalisations because they are unhelpful. How does one define elite? Is it intellect? Is it cachet of social position? I think our so-called university elites - professors etc - are in their own existential crisis because of how commodified a university education is becoming. They are beholden to students as consumers. It’s a worrying trend.

Of course it didn’t use to be like that because then our intellectual elites had both recognised intellectual prowess and a social cachet. In other words they had power. I think the modern day academic is many ways a powerless and even pitiful figure at the mercy of university managers and money men.

Nor do I think one thinker dominates over others as they might have done in the past.

A case van be made that ideas today are democratised. Power resides wherever their is a vacuum. It doesn’t reside in the class room but on social media.

In our more recent times intellectual trends like post-modernism and now social critical theory have been seeping into the mainstream. Even Donald Trump has brought up critical race theory to the wider watching populace as a beating stick over the left.

But many ordinary people would be hard pressed to name the actual thinkers (outside of just lumping people together as an amorphous mass e.g. cultural marxists or far right conservatives). It’s more true to say that all ideas now fight in the market place of ideas as a product for people to consume blindly.

But why one idea takes off and another doesn’t is something I don’t have answer for. Or where is the point where ideas from top down meet reality from bottom up and create some kind of intellectual and social momentum? I don’t have time to get into that here.

Another thing is that like an MP4 download the compression size of the complexity gets eroded the more it is downloaded and passed around. In other words people start arguing over labels and top line arguments than actually grapple with the deeper and more complex ideas contained.

This isn’t to say there are no problems with such theories - e.g. critical race theory - because there are. For the record, I am hostile to such philosophies as a Tory as I am towards many lefty isms plaguing the modern university campus that find their way into the public square.

Rather than attack the messenger (ie people) one should critically examine the arguments from every side. This is true for any theory and wherever it comes from. We engage ideas not people.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record so let me play devil’s advocate and suggest an alternative if only to muse upon on it.

I was having a stimulating series of conversations with a professor of intellectual history and other academic historians and political scientists from prestigious French institutions at a friend’s dinner party not so long ago. Like any French dinner good conversation is expected along with good food and wine. Arguments are meant to be robust and even heated but never personal. Arguments are won as much by charm and wit as it is by intellect. It’s all very convival and civilised.

Anyway, we touched on many things from the sorry state French politics, Brexit, Trump, and Covid of course. The usual stuff I imagine. But because of who was around the table the discussion enjoyably explored much wider issues.

For me it’s always interesting to hear the premise from where people build their arguments. For the left secularist the Enlightenment becomes the cornerstone from which the lens of history is viewed and interpreted. For the conservative it’s anything before the 1789 Revolution. Both actually looked at change and the ideas therein as from top down. The ground up (or the view from below) was given short thrift.

I suggested an alternative premise more from a playful motivation than absolute empirical evidence - if only to liven things up a little as the conversation was becoming stale and even predictable.

Perhaps the direction of influence could also be seen the other way round? That is to say that philosophical theories formalise and develop ideas that are already in circulation in society and culture.

Did you get that? Let me explain.

Remember Hegel's beautiful and profound observation that 'the owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk. In the words what Hegel was saying was that philosophical theory comes afterwards, reflectively, when a development of ideas or institutions is complete and (he would add) in decline.

Plato's 'Republic', at least its political portion, was as the late Michael Oakeshott once put it, 'animated by the errors of Athenian democracy'. Any citizen could participate in politics and help determine policies and legislation without any knowledge of the relevant matters. Plato saw democracy as the politics of ignorance. If every other human inquiry or activity recognised expert knowledge - in his famous example, you wouldn't let just anyone, regardless of their lack of specialist skills, navigate a ship - why not politics, too ? Why should politics be special in not requiring knowledge of the proper ends and means of political action as a condition of participation. Think of this what you will, but the 'Republic' was rooted in its contemporary context and was a response to it.

Aristotle's 'Politics' is a theorisation of the Greek polis, which was already passing out of independent existence under the impact of Alexander the Great's conquests. Athens was a city-state, and a democracy (albeit a limited one). Even though Aristotle was not born in Athens his views were accepted until he was shunned after the death of Alexander.

Aquinas' 'Summa' was a response to the recovery of Aristotle's writings and to the ongoing beliefs and practice of the Catholic Church - as well, of course, to movements which he opposed in theology.

Hobbes' 'Leviathan' is clearly a recipe for avoiding the kind of political and social chaos caused by the French Wars of Religion and the English Civil Wars. They were in his rear-view mirror when he wrote his tome.

Hume's 'atomistic' view of the nature of experience as composed of distinct impressions and ideas drew on the model of Newtonian 'corpuscular' physics.

Kant's Critique of Pure Reason asks how knowledge is possible, with the glories of Newtonian physics in the background. His emphasis on the place of reason in ethics is fully in the spirit of the Enlightenment's celebration of reason.

John Stuart Mill's 'On Liberty' was a counter-blast to the pressure toward conformity which he thought he saw in the England of his day.

Logical Positivism was a response to the huge, brilliant developments in science - relativity and quantum theory - and took the form of scientism, the view that scientific knowledge is the only form of deep and accurate knowledge (of all real knowledge).

Marxism was a response to the embryonic birth of the modern capitalist system after the industrial revolution in Britain. Both Hegel and Marx formulated their theories by what they observed was happening with the birthing pains of modern industrial capital society. Cultural Marxism is a different beast entirely.

I could go on.

I am not suggesting, of course, that there was anything crude or mechanical in the way these philosophies emerged from their contexts. They all added independent thought of great subtlety. But their problems and the terms of their solutions were set by their times, at least as they understood them. It’s plausible but may not be completely true. But that’s part of the enjoyment of musing upon whimsical thoughts without the conceit of being certain.

Anyway something to think about.

Thanks for your question.

#question #ask #hilosophy #ideas #society #ideology #culture

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troyplaysbass · 4 years

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We’ll Grow Stronger Making Room and Sharing Space: 2019 In Review

It’s the end of the year and the end of the decade (more on the latter in this post). It’s the time for me to reflect on the year and think too much about lists. Some things will never change.

Music I Worked On This Year

Jeff Schaller and the Long Way Home - “Younger Years” (guitar, recording, mixing, mastering)

Apocalypse Quest - Paradoxes (mixing, mastering)

Sloth Hands - Vacation’s Over (mastering)

Apocalypse Quest - “Mediocre Boys” (recording, mixing, mastering)

Flora Self - “Didn’t See It Coming” (bass, recording, mixing, mastering)

Pelafina - “Blue and Gold” (guitar)

Apocalypse Quest - “CEO Blood” (recording, mixing, mastering)

Apocalypse Quest - ERBA (recording, mixing, mastering)

My Favorite Albums of 2019

I’ve had a one-sentence review of my number one album, Breakup Season by Future Teens, in my head for a few months: If I had heard this when I was seventeen, I might have been a better person. That sounds hyperbolic, but I haven’t been able to shake the idea. I know I could have used this album as a teenager. It’s so honest and introspective about heartbreak and sadness and dealing with those emotions in healthy ways. I’m so happy that a band like Future Teens exists. I’m jealous of the kid that hears Breakup Season this year and connects to it like I connected to The Upsides. Future Teens will be that kid’s first favorite band, the soundtrack to their formative years, their inspirations and role models. I keep likening this album to The Upsides, probably the single most influential album on my past ten years. It feels like a torch-passing at the end of the decade, and it’s all the more apt because I saw Future Teens open for the Wonder Years in October.

The rest of my list feels as varied as my year, spanning genre and scope from emo debuts to the biggest pop artist in the world. As always, I think there’s a lot to love on this list, so pick something and give it a spin.

Future Teens - Breakup Season

Charly Bliss - Young Enough

Pedro the Lion - Phoenix

The Menzingers - Hello Exile

The Mountain Goats - In League With Dragons

Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

Taylor Swift - Lover

Origami Angel - Somewhere City

The Get Up Kids - Problems

Telethon - Hard Pop

Proper. - I Spent the Winter Writing Songs About Getting Better

Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - Routine Maintenance

Ceres - We Are a Team

Oso Oso - Basking In the Glow

Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center

The Dangerous Summer - Mother Nature

Somos - Prison On a Hill

Dave Hause - Kick

American Football - LP3

Bruce Springsteen - Western Stars

Junius Paul - Ism

The Maine - You Are OK

Nervus - Tough Crowd

Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

My Favorite EPs of 2019

Better Love - All I Ever Wanted Is To Be Where You Are

Mineral - One Day When We Are Young

Ruston Kelly - Dirt Emo, Volume 1

Rat Tally - When You Wake Up

Bosley Jr - No More

My Favorite Songs of 2019

Here’s a playlist on Apple Music and Spotify of songs I loved this year. It’s vaguely in order (at least the top ten or so).

My Favorite Shows of 2019

I went to 63 shows this year, 35 of which I played. Here were my favorites. These were all great, but the John K. Samson show is a contender for my all-time favorite performance. He doesn’t tour much, so make it a priority to see him if you have the chance.

John K. Samson and Christine Fellows - 11/23 at Beat Kitchen

The Wonder Years, Future Teens - 10/20 at Metro

Ruston Kelly - 11/1 at Thalia Hall

Mineral - 1/24 at Lincoln Hall

Pedro the Lion - 5/18 at The Castle Theater

Jacob Sigman, Jetty Bones - 3/29 at Beat Kitchen

The Sidekicks, Adult Mom - 7/7 at Subterranean

Spanish Love Songs - 5/19 at Cobra Lounge

Los Campesinos! - 7/6 at West Fest

We Were Promised Jetpacks - 7/13 at Bottom Lounge

My Favorite Podcasts of 2019

Two Headed Girl is the best new podcast I listened to this year. It’s a chronicle of gender dysphoria, transitioning, and marriage. Hosts Alex and Matthew Cox are unflinching in their honesty with each other about their lives, health, and feelings. It’s kind of amazing that they recorded all of this and are willing to share such a personal journey with the world.

Elsewhere in the podcast world, two of my favorite long-running podcasts hit new highs in 2019. On episode 102 of Reconcilable Differences, “Preparing the Way,” John Siracusa buys a refrigerator. The two-hour chronicle of this harrowing adventure is everything I love about the podcast format. And The Watch, Chris Ryan and Andy Greenwald’s twice weekly talk about movies and TV, transitioned from purely critique to a behind the scenes look at making a TV show as Andy called in from the set and editing room of his upcoming show, Briarpatch.

Finally, I’ll recommend Michael Lewis’s Against the Rules, a meticulously researched exploration of societal rules and the people who make and enforce them. Unlike the long-running conversational shows I typically like, the tight format and high production value make Against the Rules feel more like an audio book.

My Favorite Books of 2019

As usual, I read very few new releases this year, but the few I did read were fantastic: Hanif Abdurraqib’s latest poetry collection, A Fortune For Your Disaster, Mark Z. Danielewski’s children’s book for all ages, The Little Blue Kite, and Mischa Pearlman’s One Day When We Are Young, a retrospective on the emo band Mineral and a companion piece to their first new music in over twenty years.

The best book I read this year, regardless of release date, was The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.

My Favorite Television of 2019

I started 2019 with the vague goal of “keeping up” with TV, but I quickly realized that’s impossible. There’s just too much great TV. With that in mind, I just want to highlight a few of my favorite shows of the year, all remarkable for very different reasons, which also happen to be short and digestible.

Fleabag - Season 2

A tour de force of emotion and energy, every episode left me thinking that writer / producer / star Phoebe Waller-Bridge might be the most talented person alive.

Watchmen

Every frame of this show is immaculate. I’m a longtime defender of the endings of Lost and The Leftovers so I had confidence in Damon Lindelof and his team to pull this sequel/remix, and my expectations were still far exceeded.

When They See Us

Ava Duvernay’s docu-drama about the Central Park Five is a heart-wrenching examination of injustice. The opening sequence alone is worth the price of a Netflix subscription.

Chernobyl

A different kind of bleak docu-drama, set on the opposite side of the world as When They See Us, Chernobyl is equal parts moving, gruesome, frustrating, and deeply sad.

And I can’t leave the TV section without giving a shout to Baby Yoda on The Mandalorian, constant cause of delighted squeals (both Liesi’s and mine) every time he’s on screen.

My Favorite Movies of 2019

As always, I'm very behind on movies at the end of year, but Knives Out is a masterpiece. 1. Knives Out 2. Marriage Story 3. The Irishman 4. Booksmart 5. Midsommar 6. The Report 7. Toy Story 4 8. Us 9. Dolemite Is My Name 10. High Life

Next Year

I haven’t made a formal new year’s resolution in quite a few years, but I do have some plans for 2020.

Pelafina will be releasing a new EP in the next couple months. More on that very soon.

The Long Way Home are deep in the process of recording our next album. That will hopefully be out later in the spring.

I didn’t make a single blog post this year, and I want to change that. I don’t have a clear structure in mind, but I just want to write more.

I’m going to listen to more jazz.

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alyjojo · 3 years

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20 memories & isms I love about you.

1. He sent me flowers at work. Twice 🥰

2. He left work to help me fix my tire, outside my ex’s house. Never drove on a highway before that day. (no I shouldn’t have dated the guy, but that particular Gemini is the asc degree of our composite chart, he’s the reason we ever met at all, and hubby is the reason we broke up so...lesson learned)

3. He made me eat his mom’s food. Not only that but excitedly. He’d be like “mom is making hot spaghetti and you’re gonna come over and have some”...I’d say no thx 20 times but he wasn’t hearing it. Hot spaghetti day. I felt weird having someone’s mom cook for me. She probably felt weird too tbh, but he was so over the top happy about mom, food, and me, that it didn’t seem to matter and worked out fine 😆

4. He’s so forward, and bold as hell. I’m irritatingly shy and very guarded. Literally the only way he got me was because he’d act before I could really even think about it or think myself out of it. Winners mind.

5. He moved me into his moms house. I was not ok. Not not not. My pride is...well it exists, and burns like fire whenever help is given. I will never ask in all my life and idc, feels better that way. Will gladly die first. My rotors were broken though (I could write a book just about car problems fr), I needed two and it was gonna take awhile. I’d be in the city and he’d be way out there. He’s like nah. You stay. He insisted...and I stayed. Staying was not a me thing, he changed that.

6. He gave me a baby. After all of the years I didn’t have periods, needed pills to have a normal body, all of the times I talked myself out of that sort of life altogether because I clearly didn’t have the guy (ex was not a kid guy) or the working body parts to even do that, must not be for me. First time in our new apartment, boom baby.

7. First time in our slightly bigger and nicer apartment, boom baby 2. We started actually using protection after she was born. Clearly we can.

8. He worked stupidly long hours and put up with so many people that just had no fn clue, it put a strain on everything, most of all him. When he got the offer for Indy, I pushed it. And pushed it. And pushed. May as well have pushed him right out the door, we were going, because those people suck and you’ll never get the chance to be seen while you’re doing that glorified delivery guy’s job for him. We’re going. So, we did, and he got me out of this damn state. At least once.

9. He loved getting lost with me, and it was my favorite thing. Indiana is a beautiful state and I encourage anyone to get lost there, on purpose.

10. I forgot work. He caused some serious change. Everyone else lost their job, including hubby’s favorite person ever, Jonathan. Today he’s the sole survivor of a mom and pop shop, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. The best part though, is two of the guys from work used to come see me at my new work all the time, with all their bar bitches 😆 They were my favorite people, I was always so excited to see them. Hubby tried to get them back on, and did for one of them. And when the bigger boss needed a new smaller boss bc hubby was leaving the state, hubby fought like hell for Jonathan. Like Highlander, there can only be one *sksksksksksk* They looked at a couple and hubs was like no only Jon knows the ways of the force. They hired him back, Jon has sent him some of the sweetest thank you messages...it changed his life, and hubs still loves him very much. It’s adorable.

11. Screamy baby Shmoo, she was a screamy baby, and so very beautiful. Baby Bam was like a dream, she was the perfect baby in every way. My screamy baby Shmoo was also a perfect baby, with a pitch that could break glass and sometimes she just wanted to practice for hours. Usually I got her to bed with mama snuggles & milk, singing Alison Krauss and rocking. Sometimes though, on the roughest nights, it’d be over an hour before I’d open the door with screamy baby still in a fit, and he’d take her. He’s so warm and calm, he’d win every single time, and I’d be like...zzzzz tysm ily tyty zzzz....

12. His jokes. He’s not funny (yes he is don’t tell him). He thinks he’s funny. He jokes all day every day about everything always. The girls know when dad says something to be skeptical bc he said they gotta go outside and till the land with tiny shovels, and when I roll my eyes they know he’s full of it. What’s funnier, his mom was the kind of person that took things literally always. Every time him and his goofy dad were being sarcastic, I’d have to tell her that because they’d have her believing crazy stuff. My kids share a lot of her isms, that’s one. My son absolutely does not joke, he is quite literal (so far), and I always have to scold hubby or tell lil guy nooooo he’s kidding. I don’t talk about his silliness nearly enough and I should, that’s him ❤️

13. His relationship with his mom. His mom was always on the...I wouldn’t say weaker side, but older, regular pain, on disability. He was her BABY. Her eyes lit up like Christmas when he entered the room. She loves him so so much. His sister... You know the kind, or...just imagine, probably close. He hated it. He got his job pretty young and just kept it. Always had money, always offered to help his mom, always was like IM FINE MOM. She just wanted to do for him, and he’s always been the kind of guy that wants to do for himself. And she was so funny, she’d slip $20 into the diaper bag and tell me “don’t tell him”, putting it on me. So we’d get in the car. And I’d be like there’s $20 in the diaper bag, knowing he’s gonna be pissed if he finds it (she needs it). And he’d get it, run into the house, set it on her table, and run out the door while she ran after him hollering protests 😆 Lots of other stories too. I miss her so much, I can’t even imagine how much he must.

14. His relationship with his sister, and other whirlwind people. He’s like a rock. I’ve spent lots of time with his sister, but not at once. The one day I did, I came home and my brain was so full of her bazillion ideas and impulsive let’s do this and just one thing, opposite thing, different subject, back to the subject, hey let’s do this, omg I have an idea. I love her to death but I had to sit and just...dump my brain. Ask myself for my own input bc I’d lost wtf...what were we doing again?!? Him though? Doesn’t miss a beat. No...no...no...I’ll think about it...no...no..change subject. No issue saying no. Back then I was like thank god, girl would have me on a cruise to Aruba tomorrow with costume jewelry and black face before I could even think to protest. Not him.

15. Making up. The difference between Taurus moon and Sag moon is that Taurus moon stays mad for the rest of their lives (hello...) and Sag moon wakes up in the morning like nothing happened in the history of ever. This was something that irritated me THE MOST. Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed at you. Over the years, it became the only way we’d talk at all sometimes. Is certainly the only reason we made up, countless times. He never stopped trying to make me smile, even if I wanted nothing to do with it.

16. Acts of Service. Is not mine, which is either words time or touch and I really can’t decide which. All. He speaks a whole other language. He will let me nap, or take the kids somewhere, he will spontaneously clean or go grocery shopping, walk the dog, mow the lawn, hang out at the birthday party. It didn’t start right away, more and more as he learned my isms. He’ll make me coffee as I’m coming down the stairs. I rarely have to ever ask for any practical thing. He knows my orders for anything, recently there’s been twice that he literally read my mind before I spoke. I try to do the same for him as much as I can, because I know that’s his language and I really appreciate him.

17. Bedroom games. The man knows my body like a map, no, an Excel spreadsheet 😭, and how to get every reaction he’s looking for. He is the only man to ever satisfy my insatiable ass. He made me a whole new person in that regard. He says the same about me. Never an issue there. It’s this far down the list cuz it’s not the most important, but it’s pretty important too so there that is.

18. We share the same goals. We judge the same way, like why did they wrap this like that it looks sketchy. We parent the same. We decide the same. We critically think and weigh ideas the same. We walk the same line in the same direction. If anything he’s too negative sometimes, but that’s his own personal thing. Can’t be full of Capricorn and not lean more toward pessimism (not “realism”) sometimes I think. If it’s worth it, I’ll try to coax him to middle ground. Sometimes it’s a battle, but only if I’m really sure. Usually, he’s right, so I just let him lead.

19. When I was pregnant with my son. Initially. It was hell. His car was trashed, mine was broken and thousands of dollars to fix (this particular car in this particular year has this and what a coincidence it was particularly my problem...cars, I’m telling ya). I was two feet out the door with his shit, but his sister’s issues led to my heart. Because her kids. I love them very much, of course they can stay here and not with some strange person hell no. I cannot describe how angry I was at him. HE strapped backpacks onto his back and walked to the nearest store. Hauled so much crap in a huge backpack and just his arms. Over the course of two months. He quit drinking. He went above and beyond to do get offer or provide anything I could even imagine. More romantic then I think I’d ever seen him before. At least...it had been some time anyway. Of course...he was lying to me. The whole time. To what extent idk. Regarding the work shit, idk. Thus the question and the dream and the crazy and the...crazy 😞 Wanted to piss me off boy he got that tenfold. His actions during this time period are 💯 why I stayed. He was clearly trying like hell to prove to me he could try, and it’s more than anyone I’ve ever known has even bothered to “bother” with. I was impressed, and proud. Respect counts for a lot more than love sometimes, and at the time I respected him.

20. He’s an amazing father. There are so many stories I couldn’t possibly write them all. Our son though, he chose daddy, right from the start. Nothing like our daughters, nor any kid I’d known. He’d scream, FOR his dad. He’d only sleep on his shoulder. Hubby held this baby for hours on end. If he didn’t baby would demand it, but it was very natural to them both. Baby wanted a bottle, and hubby to give it to him. It blew my mind. Hubby got his little teammate and together they’ve changed my life and perspective in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.

I’ve spent so long sporadically venting on here that I don’t think I’ve ever posted the sweet things. So many great memories and daily...everything...are missing, so many years and little moments. That would take forever. Its always been my frustrations, which was the purpose. This is my heart. No matter what happens, all of these things will always be true.

#I love him with all my heart

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jennaoliver · 4 years

Text

Research into the bias of fashion and beauty in magazines.

By the looks of it there is most definitely many flaws and biases in the beauty and fashion industry. Below is the links to all of the articles I read around fashion and beauty bais, standards and advertisement.

Givhan, Robin. "Kerry James Marshall paints a masterful image of history and hope on the cover of Vogue." The Washington Post. Last modified August 26, 2020. https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/08/25/vogue-kerry-james-marshall-jordan-casteel/.

Hirsch, Afua. "Glossies So White: the Data That Reveals the Problem with British Magazine Covers." The Guardian. Last modified April 10, 2018. https://www.theguardian.com/media/2018/apr/10/glossy-magazine-covers-too-white-models-black-ethnic-minority.

Maccarone, Dan. "The Beauty Bias." Psychology Today. Last modified June 9, 2016. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200301/the-beauty-bias.

Sullivan, Samantha. "Vogue’s Liberal Bias is Preventing It from Featuring a Critical Fashion Moment." TheBlaze. Last modified July 26, 2019. https://www.theblaze.com/op-ed/vogues-liberal-bias-is-preventing-it-from-featuring-a-critical-fashion-moment.

Toole, Lucinda. "A Girl's World: Fashion's Hidden Bias – The Oxford Student." The Oxford Student. Last modified May 13, 2013. https://www.oxfordstudent.com/2013/05/14/a-girls-world-fashions-hidden-bias/.

"Vogue Editor Anna Wintour Exposes Her Bias Against Melania Trump." Independent Women's Forum. Last modified July 30, 2019. https://www.iwf.org/2019/07/30/vogue-editor-anna-wintour-exposes-her-bias-against-melania-trump/.

I did however want to solely focus on it in magazine covers. So I found these 2 articles very interesting to read. I decided to pull out points that I felt I agreed upon and thought was important. Most of it focused on over sexualistion of women and seeing their bodies as just a frame/object to display fashion upon rather than belonging to a person which I believe are the 2 biggest issues with in the industry. It has become so toxic that editors, designers, photographers feel the need to manipulate their art in these stereotypical unreachable standards inorder to be liked. I believe the whole industry is about manipulation. Making things appear better than they are and convincing people they need to look or dress a certain way. Its not just manipulation with in the photographs but in the messages they send too.

Looking at the first article there may be a little biases in a personal or opinated way, as she uses the words we when stating something about women feeling a particular way. I liked that the writer did this as it made her feel relatable and connected to the audience however it does give the impression she is stating all women feel or act this way which can be wrong. In the second article it was hard to find a baise point as it was very formative and covered all bases around the world. I really liked this as it gave perspectives around the world in how beauty and fashion is shown.

"Designing Women For Magazine Covers Uncovered." Network9. Last modified October 24, 2019. https://network9.biz/uncovered-designing-women-for-magazine-covers/.

“We Feature Women Like We Feature Cool Cars” It’s no secret that images of women in the media are hypersexualized, or to quote Oprah, “pornified,” but that didn’t stop the outrage this week when the editor of UK Esquire Alex Blimes told a conference “The women we feature in the magazine are ornamental,” he said. “They are objectified. I could lie to you and say we are interested in their brains as well. We are not.

Magazine covers are a lens into the way our culture thinks about gender and the things we do —and don’t want to admit—about the place of women in the media and in our world.

Many of these magazines have been staffed and run by women for decades. Glamour has had a woman editor since its inception in 1939. If these magazines are produced by women, then why do they regularly signal the message that women and girls’ value lies in their youth, beauty and sexuality?

Seventeen covers use headlines like “Flirty, Pretty, Cute and Amazing,” where the emphasis is above all else on looks. Women’s fashion magazines do break, however, from showing off the female body the same way men’s magazines do — instead, the beauty and attention are held in close-ups of the face.

So women do not look—they are there to be looked at. When laying out these magazine covers, doesn’t it seem like it is intended for male appreciation, even though both men and women read, say, Vanity Fair

It has led to a Playboy-lite culture in our printed media. When attractive women are photographed, they are meant to look sexually primed and ready for consumption. When attractive men are photographed, they usually just appear cool and not sexual enough to threaten the (presumed) straight male audience.

For men, in lifestyle magazines, a ‘‘face-ism’’ bias exists, whereby men’s heads and faces are shown in greater detail than they are for women and seem less retouched. The corresponding bias for women is ‘‘body-ism,” where the focus is on women’s bodies or body parts (sometimes their heads are eliminated altogether).

Media exposure that is high in sexual objectification can socialize women to view our own bodies the same way that magazine editors treat women’s bodies on covers.

We begin to see ourselves as objects for male desire, rather than considering our own desires. When we’re told again and again that the way women look is what defines us, the uncomfortable truth is that a part of us may begin to believe it.

Changing the culture will be a long battle. But, if we have to surrender to viewing people as sex objects, and men get to have their fun with women on magazine covers, shouldn’t we? Let the Female Gaze begin.

Givhan, Robin. "The Idea of Beauty is Always Shifting. Today, It’s More Inclusive Than Ever." National Geographic. Last modified January 7, 2020. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2020/02/beauty-today-celebrates-all-social-media-plays-a-role-feature/.

Attitudes are shifting. But the fashion world remains uneasy with large women—no matter how famous or rich. No matter how pretty their face. Elevating them to iconic status is a complicated, psychological hurdle for the arbiters of beauty. They need sleek élan in their symbols of beauty. They need long lines and sharp edges. They need women who can fit into sample sizes.

But instead of operating in a vacuum, they now are operating in a new media environment. Average folks have taken note of whether designers have a diverse cast of models, and if they do not, critics can voice their ire on social media and an angry army of like-minded souls can rise up and demand change. Digital media has made it easier for stories about emaciated and anorexic models to reach the general public, and the public now has a way to shame and pressure the fashion industry to stop hiring these deathly thin women. The Fashion Spot website became a diversity watchdog, regularly issuing reports on the demographic breakdown on the runways. How many models of color? How many plus-size women? How many of them were transgender? How many older models?

One might think that as female designers themselves aged, they would begin to highlight older women in their work. But women in fashion are part of the same cult of youth that they created. They Botox and diet. They swear by raw food and SoulCycle. How often do you see a chubby designer? A gray-haired one? Designers still use the phrase “old lady” to describe clothes that are unattractive. A “matronly” dress is one that is unflattering or out-of-date. The language makes the bias plain. But today women don’t take it as a matter of course. They revolt. Making “old” synonymous with unattractive is simply not going to stand.

In the West: The new beauty isn’t defined by hairstyles or body shape, by age or skin color. Beauty is becoming less a matter of aesthetics and more about self-awareness, personal swagger, and individuality. It’s about chiseled arms and false eyelashes and a lineless forehead. But it’s also defined by rounded bellies, shimmering silver hair, and mundane imperfections. Beauty is a millennial strutting around town in leggings, a crop top, and her belly protruding over her waistband. It is a young man swishing down a runway in over-the-knee boots and thigh-grazing shorts. Beauty is political correctness, cultural enlightenment, and social justice.

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nullawesome · 7 years

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Game Design Lessons Learned -- From A Bobcat In A T-Shirt

Ever since Mario exploded into a media phenomenon in the late 1980s to early 1990s, game companies have been trying to capitalize on that success by introducing their own mascots starring in their own video games, starting with Sega's Sonic the Hedgehog from 1991. Well, it didn't start with that game, but that was the game that really kicked the mascot craze into high gear and produced a character which could (at the time) challenge the dominance Nintendo and Mario enjoyed.

But the thing is, a mascot really only works if it stands for something. Mario not only represented Nintendo as a company, his games stood for the values Nintendo was widely considered to stand for: fun for the whole family, games for all ages and skill levels. Even Sonic, despite mainly being a big ball of attitude, represented the marketing angle that Sega was taking to compete with Nintendo, producing more complex and more importantly, edgier games that appealed to a late-tween to teen demographic. But really, at the end of the day what does Mr. Nutz represent, besides shameless me-too-ism?

Okay, I'm getting off track. The point is, after Mario and Sonic blew up among the public, every game company felt the need to develop a mascot platformer of some sort. Usually the mascot was a Sonic ripoff -- some sort of cartoon animal with "attitude". These ranged from the interesting (Rocket Knight Adventures), to the merely bland (the aforementioned Mr. Nutz), to the downright awful such as today's subject: Bubsy the freaking Bobcat.

The truly flabbergasting thing about Bubsy is how bad his games are. Every single one of them -- and they just get worse and worse, culminating in the God-awful, franchise-ending cascade of fail that is Bubsy 3D. But they're competently coded; they don't glitch out like, say, Cheetahmen. They're just -- nearly any time the designers had an opportunity to make a game design decision, they made a bad one. Strangely enough, that makes Bubsy a useful learning tool for aspirant game designers like me.

Everybody should play Bubsy to get a sense of what these games do that's so fundamentally wrong. We take good game design principles so for granted that sometimes it takes a bad game -- like Bubsy -- to get us to notice them because they're missing. Just go ahead and track down the SNES version or -- I hear the first couple of games are out on Steam now, so I dunno, you can go get 'em from there. Just play through the first few levels of the first game, Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind. It won't take you long to find the fail.

For one thing, the game messes with your ability to anticipate danger. It just seems like everything in this game is designed to pop out of nowhere and kill you. Other platform games -- such as Mario and Sonic -- have level layouts that let you spot and react to an enemy or obstacle before it poses a real threat. Not Bubsy. For one thing, the first Goomba in Super Mario Bros. is two full screens away, giving you plenty of time to anticipate his arrival. The same goes with the first Motobug in Sonic. Note also how it takes a while for Sonic to build up to his full speed over level ground, so even if you remain at ground level, you still have plenty of time to anticipate the Motobug and jump on or over him. And the game distracts you with a 10-ring item box up on a ledge, so if you go get that, the first Motobug will miss you entirely (but you will still see him so you have some idea of the peril that lies ahead).

Bubsy? The first enemies (plural!) are in the very next screen over from your starting point. Notice how Bubsy is poised when the level starts, like a runner on his mark, ready to book it. The game encourages you to go fast, in a manner like Sonic. Bubsy himself has a steep acceleration curve. He goes from zero to booking it in like two seconds. With the huge sprites in this game, that means he's probably going to run smack into those enemies before you have time to react to them. The game encourages you to go fast and then immediately punishes you for doing so, pointing and going "Ha ha!" like Nelson Muntz. You simply cannot go full speed in this game without paying a heavy cost. You don't even need to touch enemies in order for them to kill you. One very common enemy can literally kill you by sneezing on you. Another problem is that the camera waits for Bubsy to reach the top before scrolling up, or the bottom before scrolling down. This makes it hard for you to see what you will land on when jumping, bouncing, or falling -- and you could land on an enemy (insta-death) or water (also insta-death) without realizing it. If there's a ledge above you, you may not know what's on there until you land on it. Could be nothing. Could be an enemy, or a crate full of thumbtacks. Normally these games are designed to encourage exploration, so that if there's a platform up high somewhere, the player will want to climb up there. But in Bubsy, the levels are laid out in such a way that any route the player may wish to take is fraught with nasty surprises -- and the player won't know what's there until it's too late to respond. That's bad design.

It gets worse. There are secret tunnels throughout the level, and some of them go straight into water without you having any way of knowing -- or doing anything about it once you've committed to taking that route. You just gotta memorize which ones go where -- which is hard because all the entrances look alike -- except the ones that have manhole covers which can kill you.

Another way this game fools with your ability to anticipate danger is there are innocuous-looking things which are actually quite dangerous. For example the manhole covers I just mentioned, which flip around to periodically open and close certain pipeways, but can also kill you if they hit you. There are also the famous gumball machines which shoot tiny, barely visible gumball projectiles that kill you in one hit. They look a fair bit like the halfway marker in Sonic, or at least like nothing that will kill you. But they will. So you have to watch yourself when you encounter anything that looks unfamiliar in this game. In one part of the game, all of a sudden and for no reason, there are yellow cars which endlessly respawn. They're large and they move pretty fast, so of course you have to have Jedi reflexes to anticipate them but they can be killed. Then there are the red convertibles that look almost exactly like the yellow cars -- except when you follow your instincts and jump on them the way you did the yellow cars, you become trapped inside and die.

Did I mention you die in one hit? Because -- yeah, you die in one hit. Touching, or even sufficiently approaching, an enemy kills you (unless you land on top of it with sufficient accuracy), a gumball from a killer gumball machine kills you, water kills you. Seriously, water kills you. Why? Because cats don't like water, HURR HURR. Never mind that some breeds of housecat love water; and bobcats are excellent swimmers. Nope, they just decided to make water deadly for an easy cartoon gag. Not even Sonic did this; Sonic sinks like a stone because of a false belief that hedgehogs can't swim, but water isn't immediately deadly to him and the underwater parts of Sonic stages have interesting (if challenging and frustrating!) mechanics. But in Bubsy water is deadly. Except when it isn't. Falling from a sufficiently great height kills you. Seriously? Falling damage in a platformer? I swear I've died for reasons I couldn't guess, like falling off a rollercoaster in the fourth level. After restarting on a fresh life, I was unable to replicate this death. Strange. The controls are some of the worst.

The controls are simply awful. Basically, there's no implementation of momentum that maps to anything in the physical world. Bubsy accelerates to full speed from a standing stop before he travels one screenful; and he screeches to an immediate halt once you let go of the control pad. Oh, except if he's on a grade in which case he will walk, automatically, at a pretty good clip, down towards the bottom of the hill. Sometimes, when running up a grade, instead of slowing down the way Mario or Sonic might, he will speed up. When he jumps, it's even worse because of the wonky mechanics around what I call jump aftertouch. Jump aftertouch is the ability -- pioneered in Super Mario Bros. -- to steer the character's trajectory after they jump. Bubsy has very unresponsive jump aftertouch -- even worse than Sonic. Unless you jump from a standstill, you are pretty much unable to steer your midair trajectory. And even you think you are jumping from a standstill, you may not be because of the rule about automatically running down slopes. If your takeoff point has the slightest grade to it, you may drastically overshoot -- or undershoot -- your jump, sending you careening into an enemy, or water, or a red convertible, or whatever other hazard lurks just beyond the screen.

All of this is invalidated, of course, if you use the glide. Why does Bubsy have a glide move? It doesn't even appreciably slow his descent. If used it prevents fall damage, it allows much better control over Bubsy's jump arc, and it increases the size of his hitbox for collision detection purposes when he's killing an enemy. (His hitbox is always huge when it comes time to determine if Bubsy is killed...) It's more of a "fix what's broken about jumping in this game" button. Why not make jumping not broken to begin with and give Bubsy some other move? Maybe a dashing scratch on the ground and a homing pounce from the air? Super Mario 3D World with its Cat Mario power-up gives you better cartoony cat-themed gameplay than does any Bubsy game.

And all of these flaws -- poor level layout, the inability to make sense of just what is a hazard in Bubsy's world, the wonky camera, the janky controls, the fact that everything freakin' kills you in one hit -- would be bad enough on their own. Separately they would have made the Bubsy series a mildly annoying, but forgettable artifact of 90s mascot mania. The seething hate for Bubsy comes from the fact that they all occur together and reinforce each other, creating a stacking effect of frustration.

I won't even get into Bubsy 3D. Not only because it brings terrible to new heights that I don't wish to contemplate, but because NullAwesome is a 2D platformer and I want to focus on aspects of 2D gaming that Bubsy is a negative example of. This isn't really a rant about how terrible a game is -- angrily nerding out about video games is plentiful elsewhere -- it's a dissection of why that game is terrible, so that lessons can be learned about how to make my own game good. Or at least not sucky.

Lesson 1: The player should be able to see well ahead of them. Turns out, I really don't know that much about how cameras work. Careful study of Bubsy's terrible camera -- and the really good camera dynamics from Super Mario Bros. -- convinced me that I should not let Lorn get further than halfway across the screen -- in either direction depending on which way he's headed. The way the camera works in Mario is really quite interesting. The screen starts scrolling when Mario is about 1/3 away from the left edge -- but at a slower pace than Mario's walking speed, allowing Mario to continue advancing across the screen until he reaches the halfway mark, at which point the scrolling matches his speed and he remains horizontally in the middle of the screen.

So a good camera system that doesn't let the camera lag behind the player character and prevent the player from seeing what's ahead is paramount.

Lesson 2: Hazardous things should look hazardous. Why does water kill you? They had lots of options: lava, spikes, poison, bottomless pits, nuclear waste, electricty -- and they chose water?! This lesson is a reminder to myself to carefully choose tiles for environmental hazards that really communicate the sense of "hey, you really shouldn't touch that" to the player. They should stand out and be sharp and pointy, or glow menacingly, or sizzle, or crackle with electricity. The same goes for the enemies: I want to avoid putting in any innocuous-looking, but quite deadly, gumball machines. In Mario, anything with mean eyes that's coming at you is probably bad. In Sonic, all of the enemies are robots, so if it's mechanical you probably don't want to mess with it.

I have two main enemy types planned for NullAwesome: Altean guards and robotic drones, with a few subvariants of each. I think I actually want to go one step further and make all of the enemies conform to a specific color scheme, one which contrasts with Lorn himself and matches the ZetaCorp logo -- just so that when the player sees those colors, they think "enemy".

Lesson 3: Put enemies and hazards in the player's way, but not in their immediate path.

So which seems more fair to you? This:

L = Lorn E = Enemy # = Ground = = Elevator ==== L E E ##############################################

Or this:

L = Lorn E = Enemy # = Ground ==== = = Elevator ==== E E ######################## ######################## L ######################## ##############################################

In both scenarios, once you're at eye level with the enemies, they can spot and shoot you. In both scenarios, the player can see that the enemies are in their way and they must defeat or evade them in order to pass. However, in the first scenario, the player will encounter the enemies simply by walking right. The second scenario puts the enemies up on a ledge, so that the player can't easily stumble onto them. They can stay on the lower level and have a good think about what to do. They still have the same need to overcome the enemies in order to continue, but this time they can choose to engage the enemy on their own terms. Messing with the player's ability to think, plan, and choose is death for your video game.

The same goes for hazards. Again, which seems more fair? This:

L = Lorn # = Ground ! = Lava ## ## L ##############!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!########## ##############!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!##########

Or this:

L = Lorn # = Ground ! = Lava ## ## # # L # # ############## ########## ############## ########## ##############!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!##########

Maybe the player can stumble into enemies and hazards in the later levels, when they've mastered the controls a bit more. But in the early stages at least, it's better to keep the player out of danger until they've decided to engage the danger by moving forward.

Lesson 4: Surprises in the game should be pleasant. Unpleasant surprises should give the player at least 1 to 2 seconds to react.

"Pleasant surprises" are things like the invisible block that yields a 1-up in Mario. "Unpleasant surprises" are things like being transported to a room full of enemies with the door locked, and you have to defeat them all to get back out. If the player comes across an unpleasant surprise, the player should be given a) a way out, and b) time enough to assess what's going on and react accordingly. Unpleasant surprises that kill the player instantly are to be avoided altogether.

This isn't really a hard and fast rule. An unpleasant surprise that kills the player can be fun in a troll game like Portal, old-school text or graphical adventures, or "kaizo" platformers. But in order for it to be fun, death has to be cheap or otherwise not frustrating. In kaizo platformers, the extreme difficulty and high risk of death is supposedly part of the fun. But in Bubsy, the game goes along relatively consistently (by Bubsy standards anyway) then WHAM! You're killed by a... gumball machine? Or go into a pipe that leads directly into deadly water or something. That's just bad design.

Since NullAwesome is not a kaizo platformer, cheap deaths should be avoided and deliberate tight spots should be carefully designed to give the player time to think and react. If the player is taken by surprise, it should be with rewards and not punishments.

So those are some of the things I've learned from everyone's least favorite bobcat. Because if Bubsy can teach us anything, it's all the things that can "paw"-sibly go wrong in your game design.

#nullawesome #game development #game design #mistakes #fail #bubsy #suck

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jacobtmcelroy-blog · 7 years

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Batman the Animated Series: ALL Episodes Ranked

Over my lifetime, I have seen many live action and animated television programs. Out of all of those, I have never watched a show I have as much adoration for as Batman: The Animated Series. The series premiered in 1992 and could have been a cheap cash-in on the success of the first two Tim Burton movies. However, thanks to the storytelling skills of Bruce Timm, Kevin Altieri, and many others, Batman TAS was a massive success. The show was dark, mature, but still great for children and adults alike. Two episodes even won Emmy’s. So, I recently re-watched the series and decided I am going to take on the brave task of ranking every episode. Because there are so few purely bad episodes of Batman TAS, choosing the top groups was incredibly difficult. However, I did my best to complete the tall task and my hard work lies below.

The Dreadful, Horrible Tier

As I previously stated, there are very few bad episodes of the BTAS. Very, very few. However, those select few are pretty atrocious. Basically, this is the “what this show could have been with lazier, cheaper writers tier”.

102. Showdown

This episode has absolutely nothing to do with Batman. That is all. Let’s continue.

101. I’ve Got Batman in My Basement

Batman: The Phantom Menace. Seriously, these kids were as bad as Jake Lloyd Anakin.

100. Tyger, Tyger

Who thought turning Catwoman into an actual cat was a good idea? It definitely was not.

99. Love is a Croc

Odd pairing couple strategy just ended up being... odd.

98. Cat Scratch Fever

Man, Catwoman had some bad episodes. This awkward commentary on animal testing was one of them.

97. The Demon Within

This just feels nothing like a Batman episode. The evil kid is really annoying too.

96. Critters

Joel Schumacher takes over the helm of this hilariously bad episode... at least it seems like.

Of Lower Quality Than Others Tier

While not horrible and a disgrace to existence like the prior episodes listed... these are not too great either. They are at least watchable. Usually these are either uninteresting, laughably entertaining, or just REALLY mediocre. At least there’s no “I’ve Got Batman in My Basement” here.

95. Prophecy of Doom

Batman versus... Miss Cleo, the fraud psychic from the 90′s! It’s about as interesting as it sounds honestly.

94. The Underdwellers

Hey Arnold’s Sewer King episode was much more interesting. Not much else to say honestly.

93. Terrible Trio

Talk about appropriate title names. The plot isn’t terrible, but the villains certainly are. One of the show creators called this the worst episode of the DCAU.

92. Make’em Laugh

See? Even the Joker can have a bad episode.

91. Blind as a Bat

“ALFRED, I CAN’T SEE!!!” Possibly the worst delivery from Kevin Conroy for one of the most melodramatic lines of the series. The Penguin has another flop here.

90. The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy

The poor man’s Riddler takes on Batman in this underachieving episode that actually could have been interesting.

89. The Forgotten

Cool Hand Batman! If the villain wasn’t a joke, maybe I would not forget this episode as much.

88. Moon of the Wolf

Entertainingly stupid, but also stupid. Why would “advanced werewolf-ism” cure werewolf-ism?!

87. Sideshow

A bit of a controversial placement on this list, but I just don’t think Killer Croc is a sympathetic villain. He is pretty much a pure evil character. Just my opinion.

Jason Bourne Amnesia Tier..../Forgettable

We have escaped the very worst of what BTAS had to offer. The problem is there are so many good episodes of the series that some fall through the cracks. Oh, and there are also some mediocre episodes in this tier too. Especially, forgettable sequels to really good first episodes.

86. TIme Out of Joint

Basically, this is one of those. A disappointing sequel to a stellar introductory episode to the Clock King. This one also has too much of the Saturday Morning cartoon feel to it.

85. Animal Act

Mad Hatter definitely had some good episodes in this series.This one was not one of them. The writers tried to institute Dick’s circus past into this episode, but they just don’t do it very well.

84. Cold Comfort

Essentially, this is the Saturday Morning cartoon Mr. Freeze episode. Both of his other episodes were mature, dark, and tautly written. This one is not terrible, but it is just really disappointing based on his prior two.

83. Be a Clown

This episode isn’t near as bad as I remembered it to be and it actually has a nice lesson for kids and parents. However, there are some really stupid parts. Why did Bruce, Mayor Hill, Gordon, or anyone else not recognize the Joker in disguise... AS A CLOWN?! He even puts a bomb with a Joker face on the cake. Oh, and the kid is kind of annoying.

82. Fear of Victory

This is not a terrible episode either, but it feels a lot more juvenile than most episodes in the series. Comparing this to the other Scarecrow episodes makes that more obvious. Pretty forgettable too.

81. Bane

Bane’s sole appearance on his own in this series is fairly mediocre honestly. His fight with Batman is good, but Bane’s representation in this series is sort of laughable. His lines and character are ridiculously over the top and almost cringe-worthy at times. Also, Robin is a joke this episode.

80. Torch Song

I have always thought Firefly was an underrated Batman villain, but his iteration here leaves a lot to be desired. His burning the city plot is kind of cliche and the girl he is stalking is really unlikable. However, the ending has a nice “burning” feeling to it. (*facepalm*) One of the better of the series actually.

79. A Bullet for Bullock

I wish this was a more memorable episode based on the fun but complicated relationship between Batman and Bullock. However, the abrupt and awkward ending drops this episode’s quality significantly.

78. The Lion and the Unicorn

Looking into Alfred’s past and making him more involved was a good idea, but bringing back such a mediocre villain like Red Claw sure was not. Her accent is just as awful as it was the first time.

77. Fire from Olympus

Fire from Olympus is entertaining, but Maxie Zeus and his plot is honestly too cartoony and goofy for a cartoon with the tonality of BTAS.

76. It’s Never Too Late

This is not a bad episode by any means, but I forget it exists most of the time. Enough said.

75. P.O.V.

Remember what I said for the last one? Same case here.

74. Girls’ Night Out

Despite Supergirl’s appearance, Girls’ Night Out is by far the least memorable of the Harley/Ivy team up episodes. The dynamic between Supergirl and Batgirl is fun at times though.

Flawed... But Still Entertaining Tier

This next group of episodes is a decent step up from the last section due to them being a little less forgettable or at least trying a new concept, even if it does not fully work. Still, once again, these are where we are starting to venture into the decent category. (very good for most other shows...)

73. Chemistry

This episode had an interesting and much higher usagee of Bruce Wayne, which helped its cause. However, the plot feels way too similar to the superior “House and Garden” episode from the second season making it a retread.

72. Night of the Ninja

Kyodai Ken brings in elements from Bruce’s past, which I always like when the series does. However, his plot and overall character, in this episode, are just kind of boring and cliched. His fight with Bruce near the end (with a nice touch as Summer is covered by a curtain) was pretty solid.

71. The Worry Men

The Worry Men is fun and is full of fan service at the end, but its twist is just a little too predictable for my liking.

70. What is Reality?

The Riddler’s back... and he either watched Spy Kids 3, Tron, or Sword Art Online while he was gone! The use of virtual reality really has not aged well in this episode... at all. Still, it’s at least fun even if parts only sort of make sense.

69. Mad as a Hatter

Oh ho ho, another controversial placement. While almost all the established origin stories are good in this show, I have always felt this one pales in comparison with the others. Not saying it is bad, but Hatter’s first episode’s plot does not pop out to me as much as others.

68. Sins of the Father

Tim Drake’s origin episode should have been a lot better than this. The death of his father did not leave him with a single tear, which took out all the needed emotion in this episode away. Compare that to the masterful Robin’s Reckoning. Dick’s reaction after leaving the circus for the first time carried more emotion than this entire episode combined. Still, at least it is entertaining.

67. Off Balance

Off Balance is thoroughly entertaining and introduces us to Talia and briefly Ra’as. However, it just does not stand on its own well. It’s well... off balance. (Da dum tis)

66. Eternal Youth

The sight of Poison Ivy’s end plan is pretty horrifying. Alfred and a lady friend are a bigger part in this episode, which is also a nice touch. The part that bothers me is not a single person recognizes Poison Ivy’s Clark Kent disguise. She should have had a lot of media coverage after trying to kill Harvey Dent, right?

65. The Cat and the Claw

Catwoman just could not stop from being paired with either bad villains or bad villain plots, could she? The parts that focus on her and her relationship with Batman in this episode were great as most would expect. However, Red Claw and her atrociously fake accent is such a boring villain that it takes away from the rest of the episode.

64. Avatar

Batman: Raiders of the Lost Egyptian Tomb. This is sort of an out there episode for Batman TAS, but admittedly it is pretty entertaining. Bruce, Talia, and Ra’as have such an interesting relationship that it makes any episode with all three of them in it at least fun. Once again though, this just does not feel much like a Batman episode.

63. Cult of the Cat

I really do not like the re-designed Catwoman suit in the later seasons of the series. I had to say it. Besides that, Cult of the Cat is a fun Catwoman episode that lets her be slightly more evil than normal. The action is high octane and kickass here too. However, the villains are kind of stock and bland making this episode not stick out as much as it should.

62. The Last Laugh

“You Killed Captain Clown!”. What a wonderful line and moment of the series. Besides that, line nothing really stick out from the pack of great Joker episodes in BTAS. The plot is okay, but forgettable.

61. Lock-Up

This episode never reaches the heights that it should given timing of it to all of those villain reform episodes. It is entertaining, a little silly (Bruce’s smoke suitcase he borrowed from Clark Kent, I guess), but cannot land the Shoryuken it sets up before the time skip. However, the ending is brilliant and one of the best in the series.

Now These Episodes Are Good Tier

Now, this is what I was talking about. From here on out, I can say every episode it at least in the good category and would be really good for most other shows. Are episodes in this tier masterpieces? No, but while they would not be the first I would recommend, watching these will at least entertain and leave most viewers feeling mostly satisfied.

60. Paging the Crime Doctor

The creators of the show dub this episode as “the geezer episode”. Despite this moniker, the storytelling under the hood is both suspenseful and gives a different feel than many other episodes of the series. The only real downside is we never the see “The Crime Doctor” again in the series, which is a shame because he is an interesting character. It makes the episode lose some of its punch because of it.

59. Holiday Knights

While not groundbreaking, Holiday Knights is a really fun episode. In fact, it is the only anthology episode in the series, which gives it a different vibe. Of the three stories, the best one I believe is the Harley/Ivy going with Bruce on a shopping spree story. The following two are not quite as strong, but fun episode all and all.

58. Heart of Steel

Holy invasion of the body snatchers Batman! The fact this is a two part episode feels a bit odd to me, but it is entertaining despite it being way over the top. Building up Barbara’s character and her relationship with Bruce was a nice touch here.

57. Day of the Samurai

Batman meets anime. The Big O? Not quite, but we will get to that later. Day of the Samurai is a much better Kyodai Ken episode than his prior appearance, but still feels a little out of place. However, the setting and classic samurai style to the story makes Day of the Samurai an entertaining watch.

56. Zatanna

Zatanna is one of my favorite DC heroines, and her appearance here came out of nowhere for me. While the plot and Batman/Zatanna team-up is really fun, the villain is kind of average and forgettable. The flashbacks in this episode were particularly strong on another note.

55. Christmas with the Joker

“Jingle Bells! Batman smells! Robin laid an egg!”. Christmas with the Joker sure is not deep, but it is still a fun Christmas episode that I watch every year during the Christmas season. The only aspect of the episode that bothers me is that the ending is incredibly similar to The Last Laugh. Still though, nice Christmas episode.

54. Mean Seasons

When an episode like Mean Seasons only finishes mid-pack, you know you have a good show on your hands. Mean Seasons is a clever narrative on age and beauty standards in modern times in the entertainment industry. It stands up really well. However, for some reason or another I still forget about it when I do my watchthroughs of the show.

53. Appointment in Crime Alley

Roland Daggett appears in episodes all over the board in quality it seems like. While Appointment is not his best episode, it is definitely solid. The ending is another one of the best ones in the series. Once again, not much terribly wrong here, I just tend to forget about it.

52. The Mechanic

The Mechanic is a highly underappreciated episode of the show. I usually find it ranked in the bottom ten to twenty in most lists that I see. Unlike most, I think the Mechanic has great action and a nice, different twist on the origin of the batmobile and its creator, which one never really thinks about. Plus, the duck scene is one of Penguin’s most menacing of the series. Is it deep? No. Is it fun? Yes.

51. Batgirl Returns

Of all the characters who received great iterations in BTAS, one of the more underrated ones was Batgirl/Barbara. Her character is extremely likable. Combine her and Catwoman (plus a disapproving Robin) and you get a fun episode. This episode fades in comparison to her premiere episode, but this one is pretty good too.

50. On Leather Wings

The first produced episode of Batman is definitely a good one. In a rare occasion for this show, I believe the sequel to this episode is superior. However, that does not mean On Leather Wings is a bad episode. The action is great and it is a good early Batman against Bullock episode.

49. Baby Doll

Well, here comes another controversial placement. I do definitely think Baby-Doll is an emotional, zany episode with a solid ending, but it just feels too zany and unbelievable at times. Despite that opinion, Baby Doll is one of the more interesting original villains introduced in this show. She’s certainly a lot better here than in “Love is a Croc”.

48. Second Chance

While The Riddler will always be my favorite Batman villain, I personally believe Two-Face was the best and most consistently written villain in this series. All of the episodes based around him are good, but that also means some fade into the mix. Second Chance is one of those due to Judgment Day using a similar twist in a little better way. That is not to say Second Chance is not good. Because it definitely is.

47. Beware the Creeper

Woah, what a zany, fun episode. This could also be one of the most risque in the series too, especially due to the very seductive, and hilarious, Harley Quinn inside the pie mix dance for her and the Joker’s anniversary. The Creeper himself is a crazier version of the Joker, created in the same way the Joker was in the 1989 film. I did not think a crazier version of the Joker was possible, but alas here he is. While I do not think this episode reaches quite the heights it could, the Joker screaming in fear to get away from the “crazy guy” is never not funny.

These Are Really Good Tier

Well, you read the tier name. Let’s continue.

46. The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne

Now, this is what I am talking about. An interesting plot, a great early series supervillain team up, and a hilarious twist make Dr. Strange’s lone appearance on BTAS a good one. My only real complaint is Bruce makes some uncharacteristically stupid decisions in this episode that propels the plot into motion.

45. Vendetta

Killer Croc has never been amongst my favorite Batman villains, but this tautly written episode makes the best use of (solo) Croc in the series. Besides Croc’s appearance here, the Batman/Bullock relationship is explored and is made a central focus of this episode. As one may expect, I like that.

44. You Scratch My Back

As previously stated, Catwoman had some real duds in this series. However, her later appearances tended to be solid. Teaming Catwoman up with a rebellious and somewhat angsty Nightwing was a smart move by the writers here. While I saw the twist of the episode coming, it was still really entertaining and made for one of Selina’s best episodes of the series.

43. The Ultimate Thrill

So... this could be one of the racier episodes of non-adult cartoons I have seen. Roxy Rocket mounts a rocket for a large portion of the episode, gets off due to Batman chasing her, and is half-dressed a large amount of time. I can understand why this episode was skipped when it aired later on. Besides what I mentioned, The Ultimate Thrill is a really solid episode with really nice action setpieces. It all feels a little... strange, but still a good episode.

42. Legends of the Dark Knight

Episodes like this one with so many in jokes only comic book fans would understand are wonderful. The kids’ throwbacks to the 60′s campy Batman and the gritty Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns Batman are spot on. I also love the jab at Joel Schumacher with the kid named Joel’s ridiculous description of what he thinks Batman is like. It’s hilarious. The only real uninteresting part of this episode is the frame story.

41. Riddler’s Reform

Of all of the season 2 redemption episodes, Riddler’s falls into the upper tier. Yeah, a couple we will talk about soon are definitely better, but Nygma’s reform path is a good one. I like how Ed actually sort of wants to reform in this episode but is just to obsessed with riddling Batman and Robin to actually reform. Oh, and the ending is executed really, really well.

40. Read My Lips

I have always found the Ventriloquist to be an underrated Batman villain despite how silly he is in premise. The writers of the animated series always utilized the character’s multiple personality syndrome really well and in the most realistic way possible. As one may guess, the character’s premiere episode was really good. However, (unpopular opinion) I think some of his later episodes are a nice step up.

39. Joker’s Favor

How does the average Gotham citizen view the Joker? Well, similarly to how most of us would view a homicidal maniac it ends up. Joker’s relentless torture of an average guy is an interesting idea for an episode that is well executed throughout. Another plus is this episode created Harley Quinn. So, there’s that. Oh, by the way, that makeshift bat signal would not have worked if Bruce was 100 feet further ahead.

38. Nothing to Fear

Besides one misstep of an episode, Scarecrow is another villain with a tremendous track record in BTAS. His premiere episode is a great introduction to the character and slowly introduces who the character actually is and why his motives are what they are. Crane’s later episodes are mostly improvements, so we will talk more about those soon.

37. Shadow of the Bat

As I said earlier, Batgirl’s representation in this series is well done. The way the writers introduced Barbara first similarly to the way the writers introduced Harvey Dent and Two-Face gave viewers a basis for the character early. As most two part episodes in this series, Shadow is great. The slow burn of Batgirl being looked at as a joke to a somewhat reliable ally for Batman and Robin is written well.

36. Deep Freeze

Backing up Heart of Ice was an almost impossible task. While Deep Freeze is a lesser episode in comparison to the aforementioned masterpiece, Deep Freeze is a terrific Mr. Freeze episode... even though it inspired the plot of Batman and Robin. Despite that, the emotion is still here and Mr. Freeze’s voice is still kick-ass.

35. Mudslide

Similarly to Deep Freeze, Mudslide is a small step down from its predecessor, but Feat of Clay was one of the best of the series. So, take that as it is. Mudslide continues the tragic downfall of the drug addict Matt Hagan and his yearning to become fully human again. This episode does a stellar job at showing showing what desperation can do to those most in need of a cure to their ails.

34. Birds of a Feather

The Penguin had a few major clunkers in this series, but Birds of a Feather is far from that. In fact, it is another one of the best attempts at reform episode in the series. In fact, I was halfway cheering for Penguin during the course of the episode because of his sincere effort. The ending is both tragic and fitting for character like Oswald despite this.

33. Harley’s Holiday

If one would like to watch one of the funniest episodes of Batman, look no further than here. Parts of Harley’s Holiday are hysterical. One scene (at about 1:30 here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J064TI8WDKo) where Harley recognizes Bruce’s chin and identifies him as Bruce Wayne rather than Batman is brilliant. In fact, all of Harley’s interactions with Bats in this episode are. A certain other comedic Joker episode beats this one out, but Harley shines here big time.

32. Joker’s Millions

Remember that Joker episode I mentioned one episode ago? Well here it is. Joker’s Millions is probably the funniest episode of the series. The fake Harley Quinn and tryouts to be the new Harley Quinn are possibly one of the funniest scenes of the series. (another certain Joker scene takes the cake though...). I found the twist a little predictable, but this episode is perfect if you want some Batman action and laughs at the same time.

31. House and Garden

Of the reform episodes of the series, this is probably my second favorite overall. Poison Ivy somehow becomes sympathetic and really disturbing in the same episode with a perfect mix. Without revealing spoilers, the twist is revealed in an effective, slow-burning manner. Just give this one a watch. You will not regret it.

30. See No Evil

If I had to rank the most underrated or overlooked episodes of BTAS, See No Evil would easily make the cut on that list. Why is this exactly? Mainly, this episode is genuinely really, really creepy. A man with an invisible suit could have been a lame and cliched cartoon villain, but like with many other things, Batman did it right. The episode has some stellar dialogue, action, and a surprisingly funny moment in it. Oh, and Batman has one of his coolest lines of the series near the end.

29. Never Fear

Never Fear, one of the Scarecrow’s best episodes, dares to answer the question: what would Batman be like if he killed people? Never Fear uses the opposite formula (literally in a way) than the rest of the Scarecrow episodes as his fear toxin in this episode gives the unlucky victim no fear rather than all the fear in the world. Its effect on Batman alone makes this a fantastic episode. The guy takes out alligators with his bare hands in this episode for God’s sake.

28. Harley and Ivy

A Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy team-up episode did not have to work, but fortunately for everyone, it did. This is one of the first episodes to show what Harley could do without the guidance of her “Puddin’”, and the added new element to her character improved it even more. Poison Ivy is fantastic here as well in the mentor role to criminal noob Harley. Oh, the Joker’s material here is as good always too.

27. Dreams in Darkness

The best Scarecrow episodes are the ones that ask the most questions. Here, what if Batman was insane? Dreams in Darkness is my favorite of the many great Scarecrow episodes due to the challenge of Batman facing off against his sanity, (something he also does in a certain Mad Hatter episode...) which is something we do not see that often. The narrative all the way up to the ending with giant versions of his rogues gallery makes Darkness ultimately satisfying.

26. His Silicon Soul

I love many things about His Silicon Soul. First, the animation was done by Sunrise, the animator for Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, Gundam Wing, and The Big O. In fact, this episode was the single biggest influence on Sunrise on The Big O’s creation. That anime was essentially BTAS in look, characters, and tone. Good show. Another discussion for another time though. Back to the episode, this use of HARDAC was much better than the first time. Creating another Batman and sticking him in Gotham was more clever and deeper than the prior two-parter combined. The ending is also a work of art.

The Elite

During the NCAA basketball season, the polls and pundits keep a Top 25 list of the best 25 teams in the sport at the time. These teams are powerhouses, the best of the bunch, and not surpassed by any others. Same can be said here. Out of all the wonderful episodes of BTAS, these are almost the best of the best.

25. Pretty Poison

While I have made many obvious and repetitive statements while making this list, I will say again Batman did a fantastic job of establishing its villains before they became villains. Pretty Poison establishes Harvey Dent as one of Bruce’s best friends before ongoing his transformation, and it pays dividends later on. As for this episode itself, Poison Ivy is established early as one of the most dangerous re-occurring villains of the show. She is seductive, tough, and clever all at the same time. Her plot in this episode is simple yet suspenseful due to tight writing. Make this an essential viewing.

24. Terror in the Sky

On Leather Wings was an entertaining and explosive start to the series that lacked... well... something. However, Terror in the Sky added whatever Man Bat’s first escapade was missing. The action in Terror is some of the best in the entire series from the motorcycle chase to the final showdown on the plane. Also, the twist is a classic in the series. Without spoiling anything, this overlooked episode of Batman is one of the very best action focused episodes of the series.

23. Judgment Day

Without spoiling everything here, Judgment Day probably has one of the best twist endings in the entire series. I was genuinely shocked after my first viewing of this episode. I may have been six or so, but still it is really clever. Aside from the ending, Judgment Day features some nice action, a mysterious new vigilante character, and whole lot more. Just watch it.

22. The Clock King

While Mr. Freeze is the most famous example of Batman’s rogues gallery being revitalized, The Clock King is honestly a close second. Clock King really had not been utilized since the 1960′s as a Batman foe, so using a gimmicky, sort of goofy villain here in a 1990′s cartoon was a shock. Luckily for the show, they had world class writers that converted Clock King into a gimmicky, but psychotic, vengeful villain. After being late for once ruined his life, Temple Fugate devoted his life to trying to humiliate and murder Mayor Hill in, of course, a time-themed way. This episode could have been really silly, but Clock King ends up being a fantastic villain in a well-paced, action packed episode of Batman.

21. Joker’s Wild

Of all the wonderful Joker episodes, I find this one to be the most overlooked and underrated. The episode starts off with a fun interaction between Joker and Poison Ivy, kind of like the awkward best friend who hates her friend’s boyfriend type of situation. After setting his sites on destroying a new casino designed after him, the Joker is actually shown escaping Arkham, which is a rare occasion in the series. What follows is a brilliant scene where Bruce Wayne eggs on the real Joker, high octane action, and the expected brand of humor. Simple, but great.

20. Catwalk

Now we are finally talking, Selina Kyle. Catwalk is one of Catwoman’s final episodes of the series, and it ends up being her best by far. After giving up her life up as Catwoman, Selina is trying to blend in with the real world with the aid of Bruce, but it just is not working. Subsequently, Kyle is given an offer by another certain rogue that she cannot turn down. Thus, Catwoman returns. What makes this episode strong is the twist, the dynamics between Batman, the other villain, and of course Catwoman. She gets to be more of a villain this episode, or at least more gray, and that is how it should be. Good job Mr. Altieri.

19. Old Wounds

After the events of Robin’s Reckoning, one could start to tell the relationship between Bruce and Dick was starting to weaken through their differences. A major wrench was thrown into that already strained relationship when Barbara played her hand as Batgirl. Thus, we have Old Wounds, one of the best flashback episodes of the series. Without getting into spoiler territory, a traumatic event on the night of Dick’s graduation from college, when Dick was already fed up at Bruce for pulling him away from, almost completely severed the head off their relationship. While the ultimate reason is a bit of misunderstanding and involved jealousy, it is really sad to watch unwind even if we know what is coming. Nightwing’s mullet suck still though.

18. Over the Edge

Let me get this out of the way. Over the Edge could have easily been a top 5 episode if the ending was not such a cop-out. *sighs* Oh well I guess. But seriously, other than the asspull of an ending, Over the Edge is the most suspenseful episode of the entire series without a doubt. Without spoiling things again, shit hits the fan about five minutes in here and everything snowballs from there. Watching it is thrilling, unnerving, and feels nothing like most of the other episodes of the series. Seriously. When a certain other baddie comes in at the end (in a much better appearance than his first, mind you...), things get even more intense. Give this one a try even if the ending leaves something to be desired.

17. Perchance to Dream

Once again, I will start on the only tiny negative of this episode. If you know the villains’ theme music like I do, you will know who the villain is in this episode early on. Anyways, dream episodes when they really should dream episodes can be very good. HINT HINT. Perchance to Dream is definitely one of those. After waking up in a world full of his greatest desires, Bruce has to unravel what has happened to him and what actions he should take. That may sound vague, but I am trying super hard to avoid spoilers in these top few episodes. Just watch this one and wait for a wonderful ending and a great dual performance from Kevin Conroy.

16. The Laughing Fish

Who would have thought an episode having to do with copyright law and patents would be the Joker’s best episode? Not me. But, The Laughing Fish is indeed my favorite Joker episode (where the focus is on his plots). After making nets full of fish in Gotham harbor carry his signature smile, the Joker tries to patent the Joker fish. After being denied, old Jack Napier takes revenge on everyone who stopped his original plan in a demented, funny, and tightly written plot. Hell, there is a scene where the Joker dresses up like the Gorton fisherman. This episode is a blast.

15. Growing Pains

Well, I feel depressed after watching this one. Growing Pains is one of the most heart-wrenching episodes of the animated series. Not only is it painful for the viewer, but even moreso for Tim Drake’s Robin. I feel like this is the best utilization of his character. After not listening to Batman’s advice, Robin gets more wrapped into helping a young girl who is seemingly running away from her abusive father. This plot brings back Drake’s relationship with his own father and his empathy for others he sometimes lacks in other episodes. Oh, and the twist is brilliant and connects the later episodes to the original series satisfyingly.

14. Double Talk

Ah, the best redemption episode of the series. Not only is Double Talk my second favorite episode in the later seasons, but it is one of my favorite dramatic episodes of the entire series. The Ventriloquist could have easily been a joke of a villain, but he has several stellar episodes in this series. Out of all them, Double Talk is definitely the best. The audience is cheering for Wesker to get over his issues, and his battle to overcome them is suspenseful and well written. The ending is poetic as can be, and I love it. Give this overlooked episode a watch and you will not regret it.

13. Feat of Clay

The downfall of Matt Hagan is one of the most depressing storylines of the entire series. The allegory for drug addiction with Matt’s reliance on Renuyu and the awful things he would do for just a little bit of it is a true tragedy. The allegory went over my head in my younger years, but watching now after seeing several people I have known my entire life struggle with addiction, the episode has a heavier hit. The two-parter’s first half ends possibly on the most horrific scene of the series. Anyone who has seen this knows what I am talking about. While the second half is not quite as strong as the first, Feat of Clay is a top flight Batman episode.

12. Robin’s Reckoning

Speaking of depressing two-parters, Robin’s Reckoning is the closest thing to a tear-jerker in the series. The scene where Dick leaves the circus left the production staff silent for several minutes supposedly because of how emotional it was. While Robin’s Reckoning is one of the many Robin origin stories in existence, it is definitely one of the best ones. The raw emotion makes RR one of the best episodes of the series. Robin’s decision at the end of the second episode is tense. Maybe that is why it won a Daytime Emmy.

11. Harlequinade

Have I stated on this list before that I really like Harley Quinn and her episodes? I guess I have. Out of all of them, this is my... second favorite. Tough decision. It is painful making this one miss the top ten. Especially after Harley’s rendition of Say We’re Sweethearts Again. And Batman facepalming on a table. Literally. The plot revolves around the seemingly serious sounding plot of the Joker stealing an ATOMIC BOMB and threatening Gotham. Batman teams up with Harley Quinn in exchange for her immunity to bring down Mistah J. What results is one of the best and funniest episodes of the series. Just watch Harley’s karaoke moment of the episode if you do not believe me. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp6wLXj4-5A)

The Masterpiece Tier

The title should say enough for these episodes of BTAS. While Batman of the 90′s has so many stellar episodes, these are the best of the best and incredibly difficult to rank. I tried my best though.

10. Almost Got’im

When this episode ranks as low as ten... woah. AGI is the best episode with mulitple villains collaborating in one episode. While they are not coming up with an evil plot in this episode (well, mostly...), the group discusses the closest each of them got to killing Batman. Each tale is fun and the other villains’ commentary on the other stories is even better. The interaction between Two-Face and Poison Ivy is particularly good. The final line of the episode is also wonderfully poetic. Almost got the that top spot...

9. Mad Love

Of all the top notch Harley Quinn/Joker episodes in this series, Mad Love takes the cake as the best one. Based off the graphic novel of the same name, Mad Love possesses all of the extreme emotions and dark realism as its source material... besides some of the racier stuff. Still though, Mad Love does not hold back. The relationship between our two leads is completely one-sided and abusive making this episode work as the perfect allegory for all too common abusive relationships in the real world. Just because the main focus is on the clowns this episode, does not mean Batman is not excellent this episode. Because he is. Also, the Joker says, “May the floss be with you” at one point...

8. I Am the Night

Possibly the most emotional episode in the series, I Am the Night takes the animated series to its darkest depths. While laying flowers on the site of his parents death site, Batman misses a police sting where Commissioner Gordon ends up shot and critically injured in the hospital. Batman, feeling useless and underappreciated, vows to stop being Batman because of his failure. Every supporting character is utilized perfectly in this episode to stretch Bruce’s mental health in very different directions. Bullock and Robin represent the most extreme opposites. The ending is super satisfying and can teach everyone a lesson if they are feeling underappreciated.

7. Heart of Ice

Before Joel Schumacher and the Governator took a steaming pile of crap on Mr. Freeze’s new origin, Batman the Animated Series revamped the character with this well-known masterpiece. Seriously, this one won an Emmy too. Before the 1990′s, Mr. Freeze was a lame, generic ice villain, kind of like how Firefly is a lameass fire villain in this show. Heart of Ice is shockingly dark, soaked with emotion, and cold-hearted to the core. Mr. Freeze’s voice is soooooo perfect in this series too. Not much else to say that has not been said.

6. The Man Who Killed Batman

The premise to this episode is so simple that it is unbelievable that it is so good. A small time crook nicknamed Sid the Squid, while awkwardly stumbling on a rooftop, appears to kill Batman. After this moment, Sid becomes an idol to all the criminals in the city. Unfortunately, this is not all good news for the squid. What follows is some top notch comedy when everyone in the city might want to fight him now. Even the Joker makes an appearance. That appearance I personally believe is the best for the Joker in the entire series. Don’t believe me? Watch this scene. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld0uIhst3TA) It is possibly my favorite of the entire show. All in all, watch this episode for something great from beginning to the end.

5. Beware the Gray Ghost

Alternating from the top comedy of the prior episode, The Gray Ghost is one of the more depressing episodes of the series. Without spoiling as much as I can, it is also one of the more uplifting that gives me chills almost every time I view it. A type-cast actor who used to play a superhero on a tv show is struggling financially, with his career, and overall emotionally. His state gets involved with Batman when the episode’s villain’s plot collides with a plot from an old episode of the Gray Ghost. At first bitter and not wanting to help, Batman soons teams up with his hero to take down the villain and it is almost perfect. Who plays the Gray Ghost by the way? Adam West. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a medal. Also, Bruce Timm plays the villain in this masterpiece, which is pretty badass.

4. The Demon’s Quest

The second best two-parter of the series, The Demon’s Quest combines the best of Batman with arguably the best iteration of Ra’as Al Ghul as well. The whole episode feels like an Indiana Jones film, which is not a bad fit honestly. The first part does a nice job establishing Ra’as and Batman’s relationship, and the second half does a stellar job of completing the plot with major style. Talia and Robin also make major appearances in this episode and both really work. Once again, watch this rare world domination episode of Batman for something very different, but very good.

3. If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich?

Now, here is my sleeper episode in the top five. I see this episode on people’s list every once and a while but rarely this high. Is this a Riddler (my favorite villain) bias? Maybe a little bit, but I personally think this is one of the strongest episodes due to several factors. One, this iteration of the Riddler is terrific. John Glover is perfectly cast as the genius and knocks it out of the park. His plan involving revenge, video games, supposed mental superiority, and of course riddles is well written. Robin makes one of his best appearances in this episode as a good foil to Batman’s riddle solving methods, and having superior video game skills predictably. However, the most stalwart aspect of this episode is the ending. It’s chilling and perfectly poetic at the same time. Way to go, Nygma.

2. Trial

Remember when I mentioned Almost Got’im as the best villain teamup episode? I lied. Flat out. Trial combines all of the best aspects of almost all of Batman’s reoccurring rogues gallery and all of them are at the top of their game here. Batman is captured and put on trial in Arkham, and the new DA, who hates Batman and thinks he belongs there as well, has to defend the Dark Knight. Joker plays the judge, Two-Face the prosecutor, and several other villains take the stand as witnesses. Guess what? It’s an absolute blast to watch. The episode has good comedy, top notch dialogue, and a terrific ending note. Trial is guilty of nothing but being one of the best episodes in the series.

1. Two-Face

Not the most original choice, but Two-Face was my clear cut favorite episode of Batman the Animated Series from the moment I considered composing a list. As I stated before, Two-Face is the best villain in the animated series overall. This episode really aided in making that true. So did Pretty Poison’s establishment of Harvey Dent. Seeing Harvey’s downfall from beloved District Attorney, fiance, and best friend to Bruce is painful, tragic, and as well written as humanly possibly. I feel like the first half is slightly better than the second, but both are masterpieces and work perfectly together despite a time gap which all other two part episodes lack. So, all in all, Two-Face is what I believe to be the most masterful episode in a series full of masterpieces.

Thanks for checking out my list. I had a fun, but strenuous time making it and hope you check out my future lists too!

#batman #batman the animated series #dcau

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her-culture · 7 years

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Colorism and Its Effects on Our Society Today

Growing up, she and I were twins! Her three pigtails mirrored mine even down to the small bow-shaped clips that held them in place. She was witty, intelligent and, to top it all off, she looked like me, and my mom, and my aunts. We were like long-lost sisters despite her being a cartoon character from the Rugrats. Susie Carmichael was an influential character for me because she portrayed something I didn’t see a lot of -- an average little girl of color. According to Heart of Leadership, More than 90 percent of girls – 15 to 17 years – want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance, with body weight ranking the highest. Colorism is discrimination against an individual's based on their darker skin complexion. However, it is not limited to skin but can expand to other phenotypical features like hair, nose, eye color, lip size, etc. Colorism can be found between people of different races but is usually practiced among people of the same ethnic or racial group. It is important for writers to combat colorism in their work because it not only engages a broader audience demographic, but it is also imperative that marginalized groups of people see proper representation of themselves in order to end a legacy of self-shame and discrimination among people who share a part of their identity.

Colorism runs deep across the world. The effects of this phenomenon are evident through similar micro-aggressions and practices like skin lightening or skin bleaching. Skin lightening in Caribbean countries has become a dominant epidemic among women. For example, in Jamaica, since some women cannot gain access to safe skin lightening products made by legitimate companies, they purchase substances used for other parts of the body like hair bleach, to apply on their skin and lighten their complexion. These practices are discussed in a short online documentary entitled Skin Bleaching in Jamaica. The long term results, however, can be severe chemical burns, hyperpigmentation on the skin if the person does not stay out of the sun, and skin cancer. Colorism in the Caribbean and other part of the African diaspora can mainly be traced back to the mid 1400s at the beginning of European colonization in African communities and the enslavement of African people. During this time, enslaved Africans with lighter skin, loosely coiled hair, lighter eyes or any phenotypical features that resembled those of a White-European, received more food, better-quality clothing and even favoritism among slave owners.Skin lightening is present some Asian communities. According to BBC News, the skin-lightening business is estimated at £8.5 billion ($13 billion). Pale skin can be equated to success, beauty, intelligence, etc. In their book How to Know Hong Kong and Macau, Robert Ignacio Diaz, Dominic Cheung and Ana Paulina Lee discuss this topic. They write, “The practice of recoloring one’s skin is directly related to the desire to achieve higher social status. Historically, a person's skin color has been a clear indicator of economic and social status. As early as pre-Qin China, there has been an association between one's wealth and one's skin color”(18). The desire for lighter skin in some Asian communities can be traced back to more than 3,000 years ago. Royalty and other members of high society did not have to work outside. Any heavy outdoor work was done by servants and people who were apart of the lower class. These people usually worked as blacksmiths, farmers, carpenters, etc. and meant that these workers would have more exposure to the sun, meaning that their skin would be darker.

The problems brought about by skin lightening, however, are being combatted by countries’ legislators who are actively attempting to create a more diverse and socially equal society. For example, an article by Purvi Thacker entitled “Another African Nation Bans Popular Skin-whitening Creams”, reported that in May of 2015, the Ivory Coast outlawed all skin-lightening agents. But, there’s still more work to be done. The effects of colorism runs deeper than the physical. It runs on a mental level too. The way a specific group of people is represented in media outlets and literature can also affect how they are treated in their community. It is important for writers to combat colorism in their work because it is important that a variety of people depicted in order to end discrimination against people's identity.

Representation in writing isn’t just about portraying a specific group of people realistically; it’s about giving young writers, illustrators and readers inspiration to make creative spaces that invite people of every background. Through this, we will be able to combat controversial topics like sexism, racism, colorism, ableism etc. Mike Mosley’s article “Is America Witnessing a Black Film Renaissance?” in The Grio,argues that portraying more characters of different colors can challenge people’s preconceived ideas about race and gender and create constructive dialogue that leads to a more inclusive society. He writes, “In 2016, shows like “Atlanta,” “Queen Sugar” and “Insecure” have challenged our views on masculinity, homophobia, intersectionality, mental health, black identity, double standards in dating, black ownership, code-switching and white fragility.

They’ve also managed to do this while being unapologetically black. And while the aforementioned shows are being discussed in our newsfeeds daily, we’d be remiss to not mention the prominent rise of black nerd culture, often dubbed “Blerd.” We’ve recently seen a rise of black characters playing historical comic book characters in projects such as Mike Colter in Netflix’s “Luke Cage” and the all-Black cast of Black Panther featuring the likes of Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, and newly added Angela Bassett. Oh, and let’s not forget John Boyega’s amazing job in Star Wars” (1). Writers like Toni Morrison, in her pieces The Bluest Eye and Beloved, tackle racism and spirituality while writers such as Junot Diaz use their skill to discuss sexism, like he did in his short story, Alma -- published in The New Yorker.Writers, whether novelist or screenplay writers, should battle color-ism in their work because doing so invites a larger audience to their creations and makes literature more inclusive of the readers that support it.

Writers usually use past experiences and research to create their works so, it’s not always easy to incorporate a broader demographic in their work. Here is a short list of suggestions:

1. Change your character’s description. If you’re not writing with a historical time period in mind and are just writing something fun, change your main character’s physical traits. For example, instead of having long straight hair, your character could have thick curly or coily hair.

2. Step out of your comfort zone and create spaces where you can ask questions.No one is expected to know everything about all groups of people so asking questions about unclear topics can help.

3. Do some more research. Often time, especially when people are writing historical pieces, they don’t realize that some people have been ignored in historical pieces and so, they don’t write about these people. For example, the blockbuster hit, Hidden Figures, follows the story of three African-American women who helped America win the Space Race. Their story was never told in textbooks so bringing it to light now, encourages young women of color to pursue careers in Mathematics and Engineering.

Writers working against colorism and discrimination are critical to developing as an inclusive society. Marginalized groups of people use positive representation to inspire themselves. Ending self-shame and bigotry can start right now with just a pen and paper.

#race and gender #colorism #symone henry

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madstars-festival · 4 years

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PAVEL FUKSA: “I AM STILL OVER THE MOON WITH MY CHOICE”

Prague-based illustrator Pavel Fuksa joined AD STARS 2017 as a final judge. We catch up with him to find out what he’s been working on lately.

Pavel Fuksa’s art teachers weren’t impressed with his early work, yet he’s proved them wrong since then. He’s been named three times on Lurzer’s Archive’s list of the 200 World’s Best Illustrators, and was listed among 30 Best Young Graphic Designers by Computer Arts.

His style is witty, colourful and distinctively colourful, and it’s attracted clients from around the world including Microsoft, Google, Twitter, Facebook, Mercedes and Nike. His work can be found everywhere from book covers and magazine editorials to stamps and music videos – you can enjoy more of his latest work here.

It’s been a few years since you joined us in Busan. Are you still collaborating with agencies as a freelance creative director, or working more as an illustrator/animator these days?

I’m still enjoying sitting in two chairs, working as a creative director for agencies and brands as well as designer / illustrator on handpicked projects. Each project that comes to our two-person little studio is treated from scratch – our creative direction offers you to come up with the most suitable design language, be it 3D, 2D illustration, minimalism or over-the-top extravaganza. However, if a client approaches me with my trademark style in mind, I happily use my illustrator hat, while playing with shapes and the typical 50-70s visual style.

What are the advantages of working with a design studio based in Prague?

My clients come usually from Europe, mainly the UK, Netherlands, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Russia, France or Scandinavia, with overseas clients mainly from the US and the Middle East.

I believe that it’s always work that speaks for studios, regardless of their location. We are always aiming for the best possible outcome, for clients large and small. Being based in Prague, the heart of Central Europe, enables us to bring the best levels of creative outputs for a significantly lower price.

You’ve always worked with lots with bands. What are you listening to right now?

Bands and musicians are my favourite kinds of client – gig posters, CD/LP covers or music video art direction, it’s often a great challenge trying to pair or juxtapose the visual with the music.

As I was writing these replies, I was listening to Chris Isaak’s Wicked Game, New Order’s Blue Monday and David Bowie’s Little Wonder.

What were you like as a kid – were you always drawing, and when did you realise this could be your career?

As a kid, all of my drawings were messy, dirty and uneven. My first- and second grade teacher wasn’t particularly happy and often graded me with a D or F.

I enjoyed designing my own flags, team shirts and the ads around the ground, every time I drew a soccer game. A bit later, I realised that this is a field for me, sometimes around 16 or 17 years of age. Since then, up to this day, I am still over the moon with my choice.

Who were your biggest creative influences growing up?

I grew up in the final years of the Eastern Bloc and was exposed every day to the beauty of ephemeral products, book covers, posters and packaging. I soon discovered that drawing and realistic depictions weren’t my strongest asset and used this disadvantage to my benefit. Minimalism, simplification and black humour became my best friends :)

Do you have a process – is there a way you initiate a project or work through a problem?

I must say the inspiration usually comes pretty easy. If I hit an art director’s writer’s block, I start working on a different project, have a nap or work out. I am usually struck with inspiration at night, before I fall asleep or, like many of my colleagues, in the shower.

I am not a big fan of constant redoing and giving ideas more time to develop. The idea should work and be clear or smart from the very beginning. If the idea hits me, I try to milk it, and if it doesn’t work, I go back to inspiration folders, books, magazines or my notes.

Do you still make time for personal projects?

I have about 12 of my personal projects that I am trying to finish in between paid projects. They are smart, funny, witty and the moment I finish them, I will feel accomplished, for like eight seconds. I am working on new cookies packaging, a wonderful project for Porsche, socks design, beer labels… Also, a longboard I designed is out, with its broken bones, pills and anatomical atlas illustrations, so the rider can check which bones are still yet to be broken. All the profit from this board will be donated to the Czech Red Cross.

How has the advertising market changed in Prague over the past few years?

As with everywhere in the globalised world, Prague is now a solid member of the international creative community. That means that even here, the advertising market has shifted from solid ideas and clever solutions towards gif-ism and constant recycling of the TikTok/Instagram trends focused on people with the attention span of a fruit fly. It seems that the only target group there is are the coveted Millennials. The ads here are either shallow and superficial or so deep and intentionally over-the-top “thoughtful”, making them indecipherable to anyone, including the client.

What makes graphic design and art direction unique in Prague compared to other parts of the world?

Prague offers a wonderful melting pot of German and Slavic historical context with a bit of trademark Czech cynicism. After 30 years since the Velvet Revolution, Czech design and art direction still wiggles between your parents’ retro collections and hypermodern “fuck the rules” spoilt brats.

Three years on, what is your favourite memory of attending AD STARS 2017?

Great ideas and talks concentrated into only a few days, great people, great country, hospitality of the organisers, and meeting friends. Oh, and the food. The food.

instagram.com/fuksaworks behance.net/cosmoboy linkedin.com/in/fuksapavel

#illustration

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dorishull · 5 years

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3 Massive Mistakes Sales People Make with Social Media

If you are in sales, you’ve no doubt engaged in social selling to some degree. (By the way, if you own a business or offer a service, you are in sales too.)

But are you seeing measurable results from those efforts?

Investing in a modern sales strategy is the most effective way to ensure your sales career flourishes in the current era of digital selling.

Whether you are selling to Fortune 500 companies or small businesses, improving your social selling skills is essential to ensure a long and successful sales career.

The basics are no longer enough as more and more companies invest in social selling training to equip their sales teams to compete in the latest digital selling methods.

Sales people who are seeing poor results with social selling usually chalk it up to the fact that it doesn’t work. But nothing can be further from the truth.

Some types of social media users will find very little success from their social selling efforts regardless of how much time they spend doing it.

These types are:

The Sales Pitcher

The Ghost

The Social Butterfly

You won’t see results with social selling if you make these mistakes.

Why do people make these mistakes?

They haven’t been trained, or they haven’t taken the time to learn best practices. And some may even be looking for shortcuts. Looking for a quick sale is understandable.

But there are no long-term, consistent results with… SHORT-TERM-ISM.

Where do you start then?

In this post, I discuss the three types of social media users that are making mistakes in their approach to social media. I’ll also share how to correct those mistakes. I’ll also reveal the fourth type, a rare breed, that consistently produces results from social selling.

Three Types of Social Media Users That Make Up 99%

The Sales Pitcher

If you have spent any time on social media, I am sure you are familiar with these social media users.

The moment you accept their connection requests on LinkedIn, friend them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter or Instagram, they fill your inbox with sales pitches – aka spam.

You do NOT want to be that sales person.

This is a massive social media mistake that will turn off your potential customers and can even get you restricted or banned from a social platform. Instead, you need to take the time to deepen your connections first.

Slow down the sale to speed it up

To build trust and establish your authority with leads on social media, you need to abandon the rush to sell and focus on the relationship-building process.

By building relationships with your leads, you will help them to know, like and trust you.

Once you build a relationship with a lead and establish your authority on the topic relevant to their problem, you will be able to move the dialogue with them offline to have a sales conversation.

The Ghost

You can’t create a social media account and then expect sales to appear magically.

Connecting with someone on LinkedIn and then never interacting with them again is like going to a networking event, collecting business cards and then shoving them in a drawer.

This will not produce results.

If you want your social media efforts to yield results, you need to engage your connections in conversations beyond the initial connection requests.

Engage with your social media community

The best way to build a relationship – online or offline – is through conversations that both parties find interesting and derive value from.

It requires a lot of listening on your part so that you fully understand your prospect’s challenges and the language they use to communicate them.

Once you know what these challenges are, you can begin to engage with leads on your social channels. Share content with them that will:

capture their interest

solve a challenge

inspire, amuse or educate them.

Keep in mind that just like building relationships offline, it takes time and commitment to build them online. You need to do your research, engage appropriately and provide your leads with value.

The Social Butterfly

The Social Butterfly is the opposite of the Ghost. Social Butterflies know their leads and social community well and invest a lot of time in engaging with them.

Their mistake is they never move their relationships off social media.

To succeed in the B2B world, you need to learn the very specific needs of your prospects so you can offer solutions to them. To achieve that, you need to have offline conversations with them.

Move the relationship offline

After you establish trust and build some authority with your leads, it is time to ask for an offline conversation. In this conversation, you have a chance to demonstrate to your prospects that you:

truly understand them and their challenges or needs

have a solution that will solve their challenges or needs.

This offline conversation can happen through a phone call, video chat or in-person meeting, depending on how you do business.

Don’t wait for your leads to ask you for an offline conversation. That will not happen often. You need to take the initiative.

On most social platforms, you can now record video directly or upload it from platforms such as YouTube and Vimeo. This allows you to send a personalized video message to your lead, asking them for an offline meeting.

Video is particularly powerful as your face, tone of voice, body language and surroundings can help you create a more compelling story than an email or typed message can. It also can set you apart from your competition.

Remember: people buy from people, not companies. By using video as part of your sales strategy, you show your leads and prospects the person behind the company, humanizing the connection.

If you are not experienced with recording videos, you may be hesitant to create and send your own videos to your leads. Don’t be.

Authentic and personalized videos often perform much better than high-quality marketing videos, which your leads are more likely to ignore.

The fourth type of social media user: The Strategist

There is a fourth type of social media user, and it is a rare breed. The Strategist makes up less than 0.01% of sales people.

How do you know if you are the Strategist?

Your messages are getting a response

You’re building relationships

You’re booking offline conversations

You’re generating new clients

You have never said “I’m not getting any clients from social media”

If you are not currently a strategist, you can become one by incorporating the tips shared in this article.

LinkedIn: the ultimate B2B social channel for businesses and sales people

The LinkedIn platform provides the perfect combination of features to allow you to find, research, connect and build relationships with your leads while establishing your personal brand and authority in your industry.

Use the tips shared in this article to avoid the three social media mistakes, which will hamper the results of your social media efforts. Instead, use social media efficiently and effectively to meet or exceed your sales goals by becoming a LinkedIn Strategist.

What type of social media user are you? Let me know in the comments below.

The post 3 Massive Mistakes Sales People Make with Social Media appeared first on Top Dog Social Media.

3 Massive Mistakes Sales People Make with Social Media published first on https://likesandfollowersclub.wordpress.com

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anonymoushouseplantfan · 6 years

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Submitted: Fame

I know you usually don’t get political here but as your NYC native anon I’m just going to say this situation reminds me so much of Trump. In NYC he was never, ever part seen as the elite, but nutty, mostly harmless media personality (that’s why he was on the Stern show like a million times and even made a Sex and the City cameo.) I know that that’s been said in the press and his supporters don’t believe that but he really was a tabloid person and not “big business.” (The Kushners actually are actually in that circle.) He never showed up to the “right” top 20 events during the charity season, couldn’t get the top banks or RE funds (except DE’s huge mistake, one of the many they make) to back his ventures so he went full celebrity, full glitz, did the reality tv show route. Ivanka has even a better time w this bc she is beautiful and superficially charming (I’ve met her) and was able to be the celebrity / brand without most of his sleaze factor.

But anyway, this is why I love your blog. Asides from the merching obsession I think you do a great job of repeatedly reinforcing why you hate the what celebrity represents now and why certain institutions should be protected from it. Fame for the sake of fame - from fashion, from notoriety, from sleeping with the right person - it’s fickle and fleeting, and it also creates rabid crowds of fans that don’t even know what they’re really celebrating. You can tell how toxic MM’s fame is because all her stans engage in is “Yes, be BAD girl, because we love the drama and show those boring old stuffy people, and yass spend ALL that taxpayer money!” and what-about-ism “Oh but KATE did this too” (and got raked over the coals 10000x harder with no rabid stans to counter attack.) If you can get your fans to engage in these behaviors, you don’t even need a good reason for your fame; it becomes a beast that feeds itself.

YES! This. Exactly.

I think the rabid crowds are the main problem. They are enamoured of this attractive mirage and don’t realize that the substance behind it is foul. But that’s the magic of the reality show celebrity virus. The celebrity version feels a lot more authentic than the real version because it is designed to appeal in a very specific way. The simulacra is more powerful than the reality.

It’s a fascinating phenomenon, particularly when viewed from unclose and with a good point of comparison. That is why Meghan is so fascinating to me.

Think of it. Less than ten years ago we had people doubting Will and Kate’s fairly normal college and London courtship with tons of rumors about how the Queen supposedly disapproved of Kate’s sexy clothes, wayward/merching family, or inappropriate job, and how Will’s military absences spelled doom for the couple. Now, those very same people place absolute faith on stories about how the Queen absolutely adores Harry’s actress girlfriend with the crazy family, sexy clothes and constant merching, and how a few months of long-distance courtship and frequent absences are a perfect royal romance.

I don’t think these people think of themselves as hypocrites. I think they honestly feel that, yes, an 80k for a tour was horrible in 2014, but it’s okay for an engagement shoot in 2018. A short skirt was undignified in 2013, but it’s fine now. A mommy pendant from the baby’s aunt was scandalous merching two years ago, but piles of jewelry from friends is okay now. Will being deployed was horrifying in 2012, but Harry spending weeks in Africa is okay. Somehow, it’s all acceptable now.

That’s called cultural change.

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jaouad2d · 6 years

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This bar got famous not serving alcohol (it does now)

Portland, Maine (CNN) — It all came to Johanna Corman after four nights of tossing and turning.

Her husband of nearly 17 years, Steve, had just been laid off from his teaching job of 19 years right during April school break in 2013, and they had two children in high school.

After 19 years of teaching, he asked her what he should do next.

Johanna had been a teacher, but she was also an adventurous spirit, willing to jump at opportunities to run the family apple farm and move to Maine's Cliff Island a couple months after seeing a "for sale" sign at the island's only store and café.

Johanna woke up on that fifth morning and realized the answer to their problems.

"I had this whole vision," she said. "A bar with bartenders, and they're mixing and muddling and shaking. But there's no alcohol. It's seltzer-based, but they're using really good, healthy ingredients.

"I love old fashioned ingredients, like bitters and tonics and shrubs and syrups. I just could see the whole thing in my brain."

A dream based on trust

Steve and Johanna Corman, co-owners of Vena's Fizz House

Channon Hodge/CNN

To know Steve Corman is to know how much he loves and trusts Johanna. Having followed her to Cliff Island ten years ago, where they ran Pearls Seaside Market & Cafe for six years, Steve agreed to give it a shot.

In the course of their marriage, "I've come to totally trust certain aspects of what she's saying, what she's doing," he said. "She's incredibly creative."

"And if we're going do it, we're going to go all in," he said.

Neither had a business plan, but by day's end, they had found a realtor and an empty corner bar with space for a retail space in Portland's hip Old Port neighborhood.

And two days later, Steve went to the bank for a home equity loan based on Steve still having a job -- which he did until June. (They were approved a few weeks later.)

Vena's Fizz House, named after Johanna's temperance-minded great grandmother, was born on July 10, 2013 with just 10 drinks on the menu and cans and bottles of seltzer as the base.

No beer distributor would sell them a carbon dioxide hookup without them also buying soda. Within a couple weeks, they bought the equipment online, watched YouTube videos to learn about the installation, and hooked it up themselves.

The beverage side of the foodie scene

Steve Corman holds the Cider Smash.

Channon Hodge/CNN

Led only by Johanna's vision and their shared work ethic, the Cormans tapped into an untapped demand for grownup, sophisticated non-alcoholic drinks -- both by customers who don't drink alcohol and foodies who want interesting drinks.

Customers told them, "We've never been able to go out to a bar and actually feel like we're having a nice drink too," said Johanna. "We always get seltzer with cranberry or something like that."

Although it appeared to come out of nowhere, Vena's was really an outlet for old-timey cooking and canning recipes Johanna had been tinkering with for years.

She had found mention of apple syrup in an old cookbook while running the family apple farm in nearby Hiram, Maine, and she decided to try to create it from excess apple cider they made on the farm. (Her brother Billy Johnson is now the third generation of the family running Apple Acres Farm, but the family has lived in Maine for 11 generations, since before the American Revolution.)

"Two months later, we bottled it, we corked and waxed the top," Johanna said. "We're at the old Portland public market and within an hour, people were coming to, we're just selling tastes and bottled. Two or three people said, 'Okay, we want to be your distributor. We want to sell this all.' Within an hour!"

That's when she invented her first drink, the cider smash, around 1989. Now a Vena's best seller, it's "equal amounts of cider syrup, fresh lemon juice and bourbon," she said. "It's the easiest cocktail in the world, and tart, sweet, beautiful."

For Vena's booze-free bar, Johanna wanted real ingredients, no artificially flavored anything, whether she made the products in her commercial kitchen or bought them from the few producers making bitters, shrubs (drinking vinegars) and syrups that she liked.

A modern version of an old-fashioned soda fountain

Vena's Chocolate Phosphate includes bitters.

Channon Hodge/CNN

Some of the drinks harkened back to another era.

The first drinks the Cormans developed were reminiscent of old-fashioned soda fountains: the lime rickeys, now in four flavors, and chocolate and cherry phosphates.

They also wanted created their own unique concoctions, like the Love Potion Number 9, made from raspberry gomme (an old-fashioned syrup), rose simple syrup, squeezed lime juice, Bolivar bitters, ghost pepper extract and seltzer.

Ginger Julep was made from muddled fresh mint, ginger puree, ginger syrup, ginger bitters, smoky habanero bitters, ghost pepper and seltzer.

Steve became Vena's head bartender, learning about mixology via YouTube videos, nailing those 10 drinks in his first few months on the job.

Part art and part science, the couple created and discovered ingredients to play with and invented new drinks. If they did well, they got added to the menu.

"One of the first we came up (around Valentine's Day 2014) with was the Lumberjack Love," she said.

They found a pine syrup made from this little company out in Colorado "that we just died over," which they turned into a best-selling piney lemonade.

These days, Steve leads the bartending staff. He works with more than 200 bitters and 30 shrubs to invent new drinks, trains Vena's staff, and leads classes to train bartenders and home enthusiasts of what they call liquid alchemy with bitters.

Johanna focuses on inventing and producing syrups and other products in her tiny commercial kitchen and developing Vena's retail operations. Next to the bar, Vena's sells ingredients for people to make their own drinks at home, including Johanna's own bitters and dry mixes that don't break US airport security liquid rules.

They didn't know if they would make it

It wasn't always a sure thing that they would survive, but after more than a year into the business, a man walked into their store and changed their lives.

He stopped by in November 2014, asking Steve, "What's your best non-alcoholic drink in your non-alcoholic bar?"

Steve made him a Lumberjack Love, which has spruce pine syrup, lemon, spiced tonic, Alpine Herb bitters, wormwood bitters, and Owl & Whale's persimmon bitters.

"After two sips, he's in love with this drink," Steve said. "He says, 'What's going on in my palate?' I said, 'I told you, it's the bitters.' I explained the bitters."

After he left, Johanna and Steve's phones starting buzzing with text messages.

The man was Food Network star Alton Brown, who was in town doing a show at Merrill Auditorium.

His Twitter followers had recommended that he visit Vena's. After enjoying his Lumberjack Love, he had tweeted out his love for the shop.

"He put Vena's Fizz House as one of his top eight tour stops on his national 2014 tour," said Steve. "Thank you, Alton Brown."

Adding booze to the mix

The Blackheart Mocktail becomes a cocktail by adding bourbon.

Channon Hodge/CNN

Another big decision was adding alcohol to the menu, but the alcohol infusion wasn't just their idea. It came from their customers, who kept tossing little bottles of liquor in their trash after spiking their drinks.

Steve, who had a rotating list of 40 different mocktail recipes on the menu, knew what to do next.

"The first thing I did was take every mocktail, and I knew, but I wrote down the alcohols that would go great, matched, and what other bitter am I going to add to or take away when I add in alcohol?" said Steve. "All of a sudden, I had already 120 mixed drinks using our non-alcoholic menu."

The Lumberjack Love became the grownup Lumbersexual, which has gin, pine, lemon, spiced tonic, alpine herb and wormwood bitters.

The Blackheart Mocktail turned into the Blackheart Cocktail with Maker's Mark bourbon. It had the same ingredients as its non-boozy cousin with the same proportions -- plus bourbon.

Even the child-friendly (but sophisticated) Fluffy Fizz -- cherry juice, squeezed lemons, squeezed limes, orange shrub, simple syrup, and seltzer, topped with a good dollop of cotton candy -- can get grown up. Vodka turns it into a cocktail, with a few dashes of Vena's Bitter Charles.

The beverage end of foodie-ism

The child-friendly Fluffy Fizz is topped with cotton candy.

Channon Hodge/CNN

"We had such a good following for the non-alcoholic drinks that we were afraid once we added alcohol, we would lose those people," Johanna said.

That didn't happen. "We'd get all kinds of people, usually it was in groups, where it might be two don't drink and five do drink," she said. "They were thrilled."

As teachers, they like to teach customers about all the ingredients they make and use. "Most people that come in don't know anything about bitters or all the tonics and syrups," she said.

"So we want it to be that they're 100% comfortable, not to be intimidated, and we want them to ask us questions. We want them to be able to make drinks at home."

That's why they sell ingredients and freely hand out recipes in person and via their website, including the one below.

Blackheart Mocktail or Cocktail

1.5 ounces blackberry puree

0.5 ounces lime juice

0.5 ounces Vena's honey creme syrup

2 mint leaves

4 dashes SF Bitters Co. Boonekamp bitters

8-12 dashes Dram Apothecary Black bitters

2 ounces seltzer

1.5 ounces bourbon for the alcohol version

Shake with ice in a Boston Shaker. (Mint will be muddled with ice during this process) . Pour all without straining into a smaller version collins glass. Add two ounces of seltzer, stir and garnish with a mint leaf and lime wedge.

Travel This bar got famous not serving alcohol (it does now) http://ift.tt/2F0Txxy via CNN.com - RSS Channel - Travel http://ift.tt/1WRaRf3

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