As soon as this art block is done kicking my ass im going to be so annoying

THEAAAAA I NEED!!! the annihilation thoughts. gimme them all !!! ive only read the book but yes biologist my beloved..

ANNIHILATION THOUGHTS THERE ARE SO MANY

my favourite thing about the book is just the way it's written, both in how unusual the narration is and also just how vandermeer describes things. there's something about his prose that's just hard to hold onto, its difficult to visualise but it also leans into being disturbingly specific at time. which works so well for this story!!!

a good example is the tower, i couldn't visualise its structure or shape at all initially but once we get inside and the biologist comes to the realisation that she's inside a living organism? that passage was nauseating bc i immediately understood exactly what it meant it was so so good

speaking of the biologist? character of all time. narrator of all time. this bitch is just constantly lying both to herself and to us, and it's genuinely so funny. "it's a tower" "why" "..." zero explanations, just tide pools n vibes. the change in her characterization was what irked me the most about the movie, bc it just fundamentally changes the tone of the story itself. a huge part of why annihilation is so addictive is because of how much the biologist already identifies with area x, even if she continually tries to distance herself from it. its not a story where the narrator is slowly being corrupted by an external hostility, its a story where the narrator is slowly being emancipated, even though she doesn't even realise it till the end

THE BIOLOGISTS HUSBAND????? PLEAAAAAAASE "he knew how much i hated words like love" they are so fucking important to me don't even get me started. they are so dysfunctional they are so insane he never understood her but tried so hard to reach her and she never realised until he was unreachable do u see how distraught i am

but yeah! cool book!

i am literally begging my mutuals who havent watched black sails to plEAAAAAAASE try watching black sails it's SO fucking good its genuinely one of the best shows i have ever seen

"HEY momma! Hurry up and clean my room you gigantic ass BITCH~ KYAHAHAHA~ and you better thank me for it you big tall skank!" At first miu was VERY impressed like anyone by kirumi's half giant 3 and a half metter size, as well as the thicc and strength of her body~... but as soon as she realized how selfless kirumi was (and out of jealousy) she began treating the goth maid like utter shit, surely after days of being teased and and mocked by that blonde brat with bouncing tits slut, she won't have a mind break, and use her gigantic violent futa dick to not only discipline her to smitherins, but also turn her addicted to that thick broom, and inflate thanks to her ultra virile futa cum!

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not read!

Professionals have standards...

"HEY momma! Hurry up and clean my room you gigantic ass BITCH~ KYAHAHAHA~ and you better thank me for it you big tall skank!"

...But even standards can broken sometimes, right?

Kirumi was used to dealing with unruly clients. Loudmouths, fools, sleazes. As a pro, she developed a fortitude to blocking them out. But there were rare exceptions. Mostly in regards to Kokichi, but Miu had broken such a barrier as well.

While she was happy to do requests for her classmates, Miu had gotten deep under her skin with frequent jabs at her height ('look at this titanic bitch!'), her job ('maids are just bitches with a praise kink') and her 'assets' ('look at that fucking body!! You sure being a whore isn't more suited for you?! Kyahahaha'!). While it was tolerable at first, Miu had a way of grating of people that Kokichi could only dream of...and it didn't help matters was that body of hers. Blessed with such a stacked rack that even Kirumi had trouble not staring at it at times, it only grew to add to Kirumi's frustration. Eventually, today she was steadily reaching her breaking point. Stopping mid-sweep as all that tension began to spike~

Miu, unaware she had her last nerve, continued to obliviously pile on more fuel to the fire.

"HMMM?! What's wrong, Kirubitch?~ I pay you to clean up my shit, not act like it and laze about! Or are you day dreaming of realizing you can never be as great as me? Hah! I bet it is~ After all, what good is one easily replaceable maid to a genius inventor that revolutionizes the world!! Got that existential dread starting early~ Though, maybe its not too late! You have such a fucking fappable bod that maybe if you got to strippin' that'll be a much better career for you!!...Hm? Haaah, lifting your skirt? Are you actually gonna takem adviiiiiiiIIIII, WAIT, WHAT?!?! What the actual shit?!"

PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!!~

"O-OHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK!!! I-I-I'M SSSSSHOOORRRRYY!!! KIRUUUMIIIII~ AAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA~ PL-PLEAAAASE!! MORRRREE MOMMMYYYY~ MAMA FUCK ME MOOOOOREEEE~ DISCIPLINE MEEE, PLEAAAAAAASE! MAKE MIU MORE SHOORRRRYY!~" Raising her hand Kirumi slapped the perky butt of Miu.

"I told you not to call me Mother. But, if you're so so keen on ignoring that and being so rude to me...then I can only deliver due justice~" Kirumi said, her practically squeezing the daylights of out Miu's milkfilled tits as she shots another huge shot of spunk into Miu's slutty body. Kirumi had easily been able to get Miu addicted and in a trance just from a look at her ten foot pole. So it was tremendously easy to have Miu pinned on the ground before the salivating inventor months worth of pent-up aggression in her balls right into her own body. Filling up the crass inventor to the point her stomach gave off the impression of being late pregnant as it was filled with warm 'milk' from Kirumi. Yet, as Miu would soon know, such treatment wouldn't end there and continue well into the night~

After all, disciplining bratty girls is a time consuming effort~

I have (probably) too many thoughts about webtoons I have no read and webtoons I have not finished and their related media.

Yes this is about lookism and solo leveling

No this is nothing about plot

Lookism op popped up on YouTube feed and I just. Got really excited over it despite me not reading it because FUCK. IDK. ITS KINDA COOL. korean webtoon animated in korea! They added bg of traditional korean buildings for the korean characters and others for (I assume) the non korean characters! Idk it was just. Exciting to see this adaptation be eagerly korean after watching say Noblesse be animated (twice!) and have the original location erased. Like please! I don't want this to be the last! I really don't know much about lookism other than super basic plot but I hope the animation does well! Cause I'd love to see other webtoons be animated as well!

And with solo leveling I saw trailers for the game pop up and man. Those trailers were really good. Really well animated and fluid and dynamic in the fighting. Game itself looks pretty interesting but I can't say much cause I'm not really knowledgeable about games,,, but the animation! Was really nice! I'm... not entirely happy about sl being not animated in korea tbh but if the anime can make me feel as hyped as these game trailers did then (hopefully) it'll be fine

Reason why I'm not really happy with it being animated out of Korea is

Well one I don't really like the decision to rename the character and the bg to be Japanese. Two, since SL is something with vast amount of international attention it would've been nice if it was used to push more funding towards korean animation. Despite korea having done tons of animation for anime and American cartoons there's not much in terms of their own animation and series. And if korea goes down the route of manhwa -> animation like how Japan does manga -> anime it would be pretty cool to see!

Would love to see more info on the sl anime tho, tbh I haven't really looked too much into it so I forget when it's expected to be released

Ah 2023? For the trailer? I think? I hope the pacing's good. Same with the animation. Previous webtoon adaptations have been extremely... meh. I'M SALTY ABOUT NOBLESSE OK? OK? TWO CHANCES AND THEY BLEW THEM BOTH PLEAAAAAAASE

me, psychically torturing french bread's employees until they make faction vs themes:

👀 i have a school project to do and i need to sketch some clothes inspired by Prada's new collection....I already did it and I decided to make it about Levi

Would you like to see it later? Levi and Mikasa as models for Prada. I already sketch it but I'm so fucking scared of coloring it 😭 what if I ruin it???

Anyway, he's with a collar and a skirt because I'm that type of person. After you talked about sugar baby levi wanting to be a model and getting sugar mommy/daddy reader making it true for him I couldn't forget about it

(A girl saw what I was doing and told me it looked like Levi, so I'm now risking her finding out it IS Levi and I have a blog talking about sucking his toes)

PLEAAAAAAASE ID LOVE TO SEE IT apologies for answering so late fdghjjkg. god i know the pain of loving a sketch too much to color it. its why i lean so heavily with digital art i obsessively save sketches all the time. I HAVE FAITH ITLL LOOK GOOD THOUGH you are a great artist <3

this is NOT a dig at hinata whatsoever like dont @ me but the reason why i IMMENSELY prefer sakura over hinata is that while they both start out like as like. girls with only their crushes On Their Minds its like sakura gets to actively develop from that she becomes a medic nin and a chakra control master and she can punch shit real good and in the chuunin arc her desire for strength comes not from like..wanting to impress sasuke but to be able to protect naruto and sasuke both as TEAM MEMBERS and hinata’s desire for strength comes from naruto being an inspiration to her which is, like, WONDERFUL...but she NEVER really moves past that what little plotline or personality she has is already GONE by the end of the chuunin arc like kishi said FUCK the hyuuga plotline and all that shit and by shippuden it’s like studio pierrot and kishimoto are already hammering hinata’s entire personality to be Endgame Perfect Wife and ITS...JUST..SO MADDENING LIKE CAN I GET SOME PERSONALITY IN HERE? CAN I GET SOMETHING? CAN I PLEAAAAAAASE GET SOME JUICE IN HERE??? LIKE DONT GET ME WRONG SAKURAS LIKE...FUCKING DUMB AND STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SASUKE BUT SHE HAS. LIKE. A PERSONALITY! DESIRES! WANTS! BUT HINATA HAS NOTHING. AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!

Lol explain Kingdom hearts to me. Like all of it. Cause I'm confused as fk. Not KH3 tho cause I'm still going through it.

buckle up lads

so theres a buncha keyblade masters called foretellers and theyre all runnin round like headless chickens cause their master disappeared and nobodys telling each other anything so they all start fightin (except this one guy luxu voiced by max mittleman, he grabbed a box and high tailed it outta there) and then it sparks a keyblade war for all the light in kingdom hearts i think ??? and then i legit forget what happens from here because i hate ux with every fiber of my being but it made this cool place called a keyblade graveyard, its pretty dope.

fast forward 1000 years and we got the cool wayfinder trio all living in land of departure about to take their mark of mastery except terra doesnt pass because Mark Hamil Said Darkness Sucks. also we meet this old guy Xehanort he kinda sucks a lot. theres these enemies called unversed rolling around and mark hamil tells aqua and terra to go stop them but ventus said HEY IM COMING TO and ran after terra so aquas left to be the mom to bring them both home idk and its revealed ventus is made of pure light and xehanort literally split the darkness form his heart and it made vanitas-- hes responsible for all the unversed, he sucks, we dont like him but we love him-- in an effort to forge this thing called the X-Blade (PRONOUNCED LIKE KEY BLADE I HATE THIS SERIES) that will open the door to kingdom hearts, and the x-blade can only be made when pure light and darkness clash, and like... restart the keyblade war and bring about balance?? idk. And xehanort wants to live long enough to see this happen so he literally possesses terras body. Cool! Just what the poor guy needed. Ven and vanitas fight and ven sacrifices himself so he goes to take a Very Long Nap and vanitas just dies like the bitch he is. But ven’s heart finds his way to baby 5yo sora who decides HEY ILL HOARD YOU IN MY HEART FOR THE NEXT 11 YEARS and thats why roxas looks like ventus. Aqua yeets him in the land of departure and then like..locks the world up and it turns into castle oblivion.  meanwhile terra and aqua punch each other and terras about to fall into a darkness pit but aqua sacrifces heself to get him out and so she ends up trapped there for 11 years and terra??is now terranort and has amnesia and this old dude Ansem The Wise finds him and adopts him and an apprentice. yeah. bet he wont regret that decision ; )

10 years later kh1 happens and sora and riku and kairi are chilling on destiny islands until it explodes and riku fucks off to the darkness and kairi fucks off to soras hearts -- i hope she said hi to ventus in there-- and sora ends up in traverse town where he meets donald and goofy. YOU SEE king mickey of disney castle also fucked off because worlds are disappearing to darkness and he left donald and goofy a note to go find The Key cause thatll help. so they do and they journey around with sora and become good buddies i love the trinity trio so much. eventually they meet riku at hollow bastion again and hes been posssessed by this dude Ansem whos not Ansem the Wise but is actually Xehanort’s Heartless (i hate this fucking series) and they find kairis comatose body chillin in the corner and they have a fight scene thats engraved in the memory of Everyone whos ever played PS2 KH1 KAIRI! KAIRI! OPEN YOUR EYES! ITS NO USE. THAT GIRL HAS LOST HER HEART. SHE CANNOT WAKE UP. oh my god why didnt they add a skip scene button. anyway they punch the possession outta riku and sora stabs himself with the keyblade to release kairis heart BUT it also releases his own heart which created his nobody, Roxas, who got vens heart???who thats why he looks like ven?? and it created namine who is kairis nobody because??i honestly forget i hate this goddamn series. anyway soras a heartless for a few minutes but kairi got her heart and life back and wanted to get some sweet sweet screentime and so she saved sora and restored him Thank you kairi. so sora dumps kairi off at traverse town and goes to give Ansem / Xehanort’s Heartless a good ol ass whopping ad they win and restore the worlds but kairi and sora are separated again I’LL COME BACK TO YOU, I PROMISE! I KNOW YOU WILL! WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU DONT HEAR ME SAY PLEAAAAAAASE OH BABYYY DONT GO oh also riku and king mickey and sora closed the door to kingdom hearts and trapped riku and mickey in the realm of darkness, that was a thing.

and then chain of memories happened. theyre in castle oblivion!!! whoa!! we meet the organization for the first time! whoa!!! we meet namine!! whoa!!! so like namine has sora-memory powers and can tinker with his memories and the memories of everyone hes connected to (AND HOLY FUCK IS THAT BOY CONNECTED TO A LOTTA PEOPLE NAMINE IS VERY POWERFUL) and the organization is making namine rewrite soras memories as he progresses throuhg castle oblivion to turn him into marluxias pawn so he cna use sora to like..overhtrow the organization, i think?? i hate this seriees. but it all works out in the end except soras memories are so scrambled he decides to sleep for a year to get all the right ones back. MEANWHILE RIKUS IN THE BASEMENT OF CASTLE OBLIVION and hes fighting his own demons i mean darkness i mean ansem i mean xehanorts heartless and he meet up with mickey a few times and then he meets DiZ and he also meets a replica of himself--yeah by the way the organization is making replicas, That Sure Wont Ever Be Referenced Again : )-- and its this game that rikus like YEAH I CAN USE THE DARKNESS AS POWER AND STRENGTH and HES GONNA WALK THE ROAD TO DAWN and then every riku rper put dawn in their url and i got confused trying to keep them all straight lord please help me im a little ol sammi

then we have 358/2 days for the DS which i never replayed cause it was tedious af which is all about the organization and roxas’s time in the organization and meeting his best buds axel and xion and saix standing in the corner being a jealous little binch PLEASE SAIX JUST BE NICE THEYLL GIVE YOU ICE CREAM TOO IF YOU ASK POLITELY Xion is another replica except shes a replica of sora but something got messed up and she got his memories of kairi which is why she looks like her but with black hair for whatever reason, i think nomura just wanted a cool goth girl to add to the series and we all thank him for it, and she and roxas become so close they kinda start influencing that weird memory shit going on and xion keeps trying to leave the organization to set things right but axel always gets stuck with the icky jobs and we got the iconic GO ON YOU JUST KEEP RUNNIN BUT ILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO BRING YOU BACK and i think around this time roxas is also super fed up with the organization and decides FUCK YALL IM DONE and punches saix and leaves. but xion finds him and they have a cool boss battle sequence got i love you xion you are a POWERHOUSE but roxas defeats her and she dies and its the saddest thing in the world AND NOBODY REMEMBERS HER WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT!!!! anyway roxas decides hes gonna punch kingdom hearts next cause it was xions last wish but riku, who is sporting a cool blindfold for edge, is like HEY WE NEED YOU TO WAKE UP SORA and roxas is all SORA THIS SORA THAT I DONT GIVE A FUCK and tey fight! and riku loses cause roxas has two keybladees! OBLIVION IS THE BEST KEYBLADE IT LOOKS SUPER COOL I LOVE IT SO MUCH WOW but riku rips off his blindfold and summons the darkness and he takes on ansems, xehanorts heartless, appearance and he squeezes roxas until he passes out and then they yeeted roxas into a data twilight town for a few days.

so enter kh2 with the 6 hours roxas tutorial in the data twilight town until he goes to find sora and returns to him. SO FINALLY AFTER AN ENTIRE YEAR sora wakes up with all his proper memories and so does donald and goofy and theyre like COOL LETS GO FIND RIKU AND KING MICKEY and they go journeying around the worlds again to stop the organization. meanwhile axels gettin desperate to see his best friend for life roxas again and kidnaps kairi but shes like HEY I AINT HAVING THAT and runs off and ends up in twilight town but axel finds her and kidnaps her anyway but then saix kidnaps her to the world that never was. and so soras like WE GOTTA GO SAVE KAIRI AND RIKU NOW cause by the way earlier like midpoint of the game maybe Mickey was like SAY FELLAS DID SOMEONE MENTION THE DOOR TO DARKNESS and its one of my favorite quotes in this hell franchise, so like THYE KNOW KING MICKEY IS OK that just leaves kairi and riku and stopping the organization. so they find kairi and they find riku and sora cries a bit and im just happy the destiny trio is together again. And DiZ showed up again, hes actually ansem the wise, and he talks about computers and hearts and research and xemnas, the organizations leader, is likeI WAS YOUR APPRENTICE! BUT YOU DIDNT LET ME DO ILLEGAL HUMAN EXPERIMENT SON HEARTS SO I KICKED YOU OUT AND RREMOVED MY OWN HEART AND THATS WHY THERES A HEARTLESS AND A NOBODY OF XEHANORT and ansem the wise is like YEAH BITCH and he explodes and riku turns back to normal but he also really needs a haircut. so they go punch xemnas in his zebra coat and riku and sora chill in the realm of darkness for about ten minute son the beach, i guess aqua was hanging out somewhere else, and they get a message form kairi in a bottle and the door to light opens and they go home and it was literally!!!!! a better fucking ending!!!! than kh3!!!!!!!!! thats my tea!!!!!!

so then we have KH3D, dream drop distance, which begins telling us ‘hey when you kill a heartless and a nobody that person is gonna be recompleted so uhhhhh xehanorts coming back Thats Not Good, make sora and riku do their mark of mastery test in the realm of sleep to get the power of waking’ and thats the whole game but its great because flowmotion! dream eaters!  TWEWY TWEWY TWEWY T W E W Y!!!!!! playable riku!!! fun worlds!!! soriku!!! except KH3D’s fatal flaw is THEY INTRODUCED TIME TRAVEL INTO THIS FUCKING COMPLEX HELL HOLE I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR THAT. anyway rikus been doing a great hecking job!!!! except sora ended up in twtnw and kept chasing the dreams into the deepest pit of slumber and the organization broke his heart so they use him as one of xehanorts vessels [gesutres to my blog with will smith arms] yeeah babey. and riku is understandably like HEY GIVE ME MY FRIEND BACK and xehanort is like FUCK OFF TWINK and mickey and donald and goofy and axel, whos been recompleted as lea, arrive and steal comatose sora back form xehanort and xehanort monologues about the X-Blade split into 20 pieces- 7 of light, 13 of darkness- and so hes gonna make 13 vessels of darkness with his heart inside them and the guardians of light gotta gather 7 lights to clash and bringg about the keyblade war or bring about kingdom hearts, i-- i literally hate this series so much Why do you think i went on a year long hiatus??? i needed to calm the fuck down-- either way xehanort yeets off with his darknesses and soras STILL comatose and rikus like I WILL DIVE INTO HIS SLEEP AND SAVE HIM BECAUSE DEARLY BELOVED IS PLAYING AND if i continue this joke someones bound to get mad at me for ‘’’pushign a soriku agenda’’’ BUT YKNOW WHAT, RIKUS A REAL MVP AND PUNCHES A NIGHTMARE VEN AND SAVES SORA AND SORA HUGS HIM AND ITS GREAT AND I LOVE MY SONS SO MUCH and the kh3d ends with them saying ‘hey look kairis gonna do something!’ but Little Did We Know.

and thats your summary of what the fuck happened in kingdom hearts. i hate this game so much.

JM-008

Rated: G Warnings: Angst. Just Angst. Pairings: McHanzo Notes: Unbeta’d. Just a drabble.

Hanzo stands outside the door, unwilling to move forward. Maybe, just maybe, if he doesn’t go into the room, then everything that has happened will be a dream. Maybe, just maybe, he will wake up in their bed, warm and cold no longer. Maybe, just maybe, this nightmare will be over. He opens the door and steps inside. It’s plain and white. White tiled floor, ceiling, and walls. There’s a sturdy oak table in the center, a chair on either side. Hanzo has been in here once before. That time, he took the seat facing the door. This time, he takes the seat facing away. 

“Good afternoon, Hanzo. Thank you for coming.” At one point, Athena dropping ‘Agent’ from addressing him would have been a problem. Now? Now Hanzo needs it. Needs those breadcrumbs of affection, “You are here to watch recording JM-008. There are two options: audiolog or hololog. Due to previous Agent interactions, I would suggest audi--” “Hololog.” Hanzo responds immediately, not waiting for her to continue. Silence floods the chamber. “Hanzo, I would advise against that. Hololog has shown to cause extreme emotional reaction and your current mental state--” “Hololog.” He is less strident now. Tiredness effuses his voice. Even softer, he whispers, “Please.” Another breath of silence. Hanzo squeezes his hands into fists on the table, his knuckles white.  “Understood. Loading Hololog JM-008.” He expected it to take some time, but it’s almost instant. The first change is the tiles. The floor turns hardwood, the walls into an earthy stucco color. A fake rug lies below the table. Windows outside show arid desert beauty. All around, succulents and cacti hang or stand, blooming in glory.  But the thing Hanzo is staring at, with eyes so wide, is the man in front of him. He looks pristine, his hair a little messy, but otherwise normal. Wearing a button-down flannel, a cigar hanging from his lips. He smiles nervously. It makes the crows feet in his eyes more prominent. Hanzo’s breath hitches. Quietly, the cowboy clears his throat and gets comfortable. He pulls out peacekeeper and sets her on the table. Then, he takes off his hat and sets it down too. Hanzo bites back a sob, hand covering his mouth. He’s shaking uncontrollably, but he can’t stop this. Not now. Jesse runs a hand through his hair and then scoots the chair forward a little more before setting his arms onto the table. Hanzo has the irrational urge to reach out and touch the flesh and metal hands. He’ll pass through them, of course, but he wants to so badly. “All right, lesse.” If the image was bad, the voice is worse. Hanzo heaves a sob, shoulders hunching forward. The warm whiskey words tumble into him, caressing his skin. “Name is Jesse McCree. I’m Forty-one years of age, sound of mind and health. This here is an update to my previous will. Thought it was ‘bout time for me to fix it up.” He needs to focus and hear this. He has to hear this, to savor the words. Wiping his eyes, Hanzo looks back up to see Jesse holding a wrinkled piece of paper. “For my worldly belongings... I hereby give Overwatch any currency I have at the time of my passin’. I give my video games to Hana Song. I give my bullets and unsued ammunition to Overwatch. I give any land or assets in my name t’Overwatch. “My clothing, personal effects, and my gun I give to Hanzo Shimada. That... That ‘bout covers the uh, worldly goods. Don’t got much, if’n I’m honest.” Jesse shrugs and scratches his bearded chin. Hanzo soaks in the words, the motions, like a plant takes in the sun. He needs it to live, to keep going. It is his energy.  “This here ends the normal will part and now we’re gonna get into... Uh... Well personal shit. So, if’n you ain’t Hanzo, this is gonna get real fuckin’ weird.” His laugh is strained, smile wobbly. There’s a little uptick at the ends of his words, the way it does when Jesse’s trying not to cry. Knowing his cowboy was getting emotional speaking this makes Hanzo shiver, fresh tears forming. “Hanzo Shimada, I don’t know what the future will hold. I don’t know if... If we’re still together, or if you finally got a sense and went for someone better.” The cowboy looks so nervous and unsure. It doesn’t fit well with the bombastic memory, with the lively cheerful yelling and hollering. It doesn’t fit his Jesse, but it also does.  Jesse shifts and looks down at his hands, his brows furrowing together, “I love you, Hanzo. I think about y’night and day. I think about how much joy y’give me and how much I... I want y’to be happy.”  Happy isn’t really an option for Hanzo. Not really. He feels the gnawing agony and sadness opening its hungry jaws. It seeks and seeks and seeks to destroy him and it’s winning. It is tearing him apart and there’s not much left of Hanzo. Not much fight. “Baby, sweetheart, pumpkin... Please, keep goin’. Live, Hanzo. Find someone who can make you feel good and live again. I’m beggin’ ya.” Jesse’s voice hitches and breaks at the end. Tears trace his tawny cheeks, jaw shuddering until he clenches his teeth and hisses through it, “Pleaaaaaaase.” McCree hunches up and chokes on a sob. For an agonizing moment, Hanzo watches as a hologram of his love cries. Every fiber of his being begs him to comfort him, to touch and hold his hands, to make him stop speaking these awful, sweet words. It hurts, and Hanzo is once again stuck watching from afar as Jesse is torn apart. “I love you, and I want you to be happy. We both know this life we lead is dangerous, and I... Fuck, I wanted to leave this so you would know how I feel ‘bout ya.” Oddly, as Jesse speaks, he picks up peacekeeper. Carefully, the cowboy begins to take the gun apart. Hanzo has seen this a million times - he cares and cleans his gun religiously. Each part is laid out in a neat order, with deft hands that know what they’re doing. But there’s something new. The grip of the pistol is tapped against the edge of the table. Jesse runs a finger along the leather inlay’s seam. After a few seconds, it pops out. A hidden mechanism. From inside it, he fishes out a key and sets it down on the table. “Off the record, I got a safehouse in New Mexico. Coordinates are 36.425768, -107.536382.” Jesse waited patiently, for what Hanzo is unsure. He stares gobsmacked at the change in tone, reeling from shock. “There are answers there, darlin’. Maybe the things you need to move on. No matter what, Hanzo, I love you. Be good.” Jesse blows a kiss and then the recording ends. Hanzo is back in the white tiled room. His beloved is gone. A startled, sharp gasp wrenches from his clenched jaw, heart aching fiercely.  “Download this and then erase it.” Athena is quiet, and Hanzo wonders if she will do as he said. “Erasing files is not prohibited, Agent Shimada.”  “Then,” Hanzo stands, feeling purpose and drive flood him in waves. He has a goal. He has something to do. “Delete the part recorded for me.” “That is inadvisable, Agent Shimada.” “If,” Hanzo’s voice is firm and loud. His oyabun voice, Genji used to joke. The one that tolerates no nonsense, “It is made for me then I am allowed to destroy it. Do as I ask.” “As you wish, Agent Shimada. The will has been downloaded to your com. The part addressed to you will be deleted.” That night, Hanzo leaves. Bags packed, com stipped of data. He carries peacekeeper on his hip, a cowboy hat on his head, a serape in his bags, and determination in his soul. He chases a ghost for an answer. He misses the service for Jesse J. McCree. It’s beautiful. There are flowers and speeches and tears all around. There is Taps and an honorary burial. His absence is noticed, gossiped about. Genji is stoic beside Angela. His friends, his family essentially, wonder how someone so close to Jesse could just run off like this.

@rockformed​ replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it. 

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"