Dear Chloé Haters,

Now that "Revolution" has aired, I hope you're proud of yourselves.

I hope you're proud that she's gonna live with her abusive mother, I hope you're proud that she lost everything; including the two friends (Adrien and Sabrina) that she actually cared for and were willing to help her, I hope you're proud that no one, not even her own father or sister, loves her. I especially hope you're proud that you got your wish: That she's worse that Gabriel, Lila, Nathalie, and Félix, and that she's an irredeemable monster because your precious Marinette and your God Thomas Astruc said so; just so you can have your stupid ass Love Square ship (Which I'm starting to despise more and more thanks to how poorly written this show is and because of you guys.) and that she might be (Key word: might) written out for good because Thomas himself hates her for the most pathetic fucking reason ever.

If you can honestly look at this and go "Woohoo yes! It's about time that bitch got karma! She had it coming all these years!"

A. You don't know a damn thing about karma and how it works.

B. You also don't know what it's like to be abused and how abuse can affect someone, especially someone as young as Chloe was when her mom left her.

And C. You especially don't know what it's like to be change for the better, only to fail repeatedly because old habits are hard to change for the better.

Oh, and don't you dare fucking give me that "Well Mylène said her mom left her and she turned out fine" or "Well Gabriel was a shitty person as a teenager, and he only got worse" crap. I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about those shitty ass arguments. That just proves that you're biased and Thomas doesn't know a fuck ton about abused victims and how they cope differently.

I don't want to deal with you. Not now. Not ever.

Get off my page if you hate Chloe. Block me for all I care. Hell, call me a bully or racist apologist or hell, even a sociopath apologist for all I care.

I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

You got your wish, and now my wish is to not associate with any of you people.

Bye.

Bad Things (Eddie Munson Short Story)

⚠️Warnings: Explicit sexual content. MINORS DNI. Toxic relationship. Drugs. Angst.⚠️

Summary: Modern AU. Rockstar Eddie. Nova Gray is a pop star and the on again/off again girlfriend of rockstar Eddie Munson. Both of them are at the height of their career. Fame and trouble follow these two everywhere they go. They both know they are no good for each other but can they stay away? Just a heads up that this will not be typical sweet Eddie. He's kind of an asshole. But a hot one.

Characters and intro, Chapter one

Chapter Two: Eddie Fucking Munson

****Don't matter what you say. Don't matter what you do. I only wanna do bad things to you..****

Nova's POV

You had an interview today which you were dreading already. Rebecca White was one of the most nosy people in the industry and you already knew her questions would consist of nothing but Eddie Munson.

"You're gonna do great, babe." Max says gently as he kisses your cheek. You give him a half smile as you grab your purse and sling it over your shoulder. "Fuck.. where's my phone? I'm gonna be late." you groan as you flip the blanket on your bed searching for it.

You hear it ringing in the distance and Max makes it there before you. You see Eddie's face on the screen and Max's turns to you, his eyes full of questions.

"The performance at the VMA's is soon. I'm sure that's what it's about." you lie as you take your phone. Though broken up, you and Eddie still had to perform your duet together in a few days. That should be fun.

"Yeah, I'm sure... Call me when you're done with the interview. Maybe we can grab lunch somewhere?" Max calls as you head for the door.

"Sure!" you call back slamming the door behind you. You run to the elevator as your phone continues to ring. "Hello?" you answer the phone in a rush.

"Hey Princess."

God, his voice makes me melt.

"I don't have time to talk, Eddie. I'm in a hurry." you say quickly as push open the doors to the outside world. You see your driver parked and waiting for you.

"How's my favorite girl?" he continues anyways as you slide in the backseat of the car.

"When did I become your favorite over Stacie, or Jessica, or what was the bendy one's name... oh yeah... Trixie?" you snap.

"You're stressed. What's going on... hey, no teeth.." he mumbles.

"Are you seriously getting your dick sucked while you're calling me? Fuck you, Eddie!"

"Oh come on, you're the only one I let use teeth..."

You hang up the phone and lean back against the seat with a sigh. He's literally impossible.

Why does everything in me want to tell the driver to head there instead? Why am I always craving him?

You grab your phone again flipping through your contacts.

"I fucking hate him." you say as soon as she picks up and Chloe snorts.

"No you don't. But I've told you a thousand times, come to the dark side, baby. We have so much fun." she teases.

Chloe Monroe. My only true friend in this industry. Proud lesbian and hater of most of the male species.

"I do. He's such an asshole." you groan and she sighs deeply.

"So you're trying to decide if you should go fuck him or not." she states bluntly.

"What? No!" you protest. "Shit... maybe. I miss him." you mumble.

"Suck it up, baby. You need to go to this interview and then you need to go home to your sweet hunk of a man." Chloe says sternly.

"You're right. I know you're right."

"I'm always right. But if you do go, tell me all the filthy details later." she giggles and you just roll your eyes.

"I love you. Gotta go."

"Love you!"

Your driver meets your eyes through the mirror and shakes his head with a laugh.

"You do keep an old man like me entertained." Sal laughs and you can't help but give him a smile. He pulls up in front of the building and you take a deep breath before slipping out of the car.

I can do this. Just talk about my music. Stay focused.

The fact that it's filmed in front of a live audience wasn't helping your stress level. This was your first interview since your breakup six months ago. People wanted to know what happened. Everyone wanted to know the dirty details of your life as if it wasn't breaking your heart into pieces.

These people didn't care about you. They just wanted information. It was just the business.

You made your way to hair and makeup. The guy who tended to you was a sweetheart. He kept the conversation light and focused on getting you perfect for the camera.

And then came Rebecca.

"Nova! You look incredible!" she gushes as you stand up from the chair. You give her the fakest of smiles as she pulls you in for a hug.

"Thank you. So do you." you reply sweetly. "So I just wanted to make sure we were clear on the topics..."

"I know, dear. No talk of that handsome boy of yours... is he still yours?"

Fuck this shit.

"Rebecca, with all due respect, I don't have to do this interview."

"I'm only kidding. I received a list of all the off-topic things before the show. No Munson. No diets. No Max? Such a shame.. he's a cutie." she chatters.

"Are we clear?" you say shortly.

"I'll see you soon." she disappears swiftly and you feel even more nervous than before.

You quickly dial your manager and she answers immediately.

"You can't back out."

"She's gonna spend the entire interview talking about the breakup. I can already tell." you argue.

"Nova, you need this. You need to get back out there. You need to talk about your new album. You need to show them he didn't destroy you." Lisa pushes back.

You pause for a second weighing your options. She's gonna eat me alive.

"Put your big girl panties on. Those sexy ones, with the little bow." Lisa chuckles.

You exhale deeply and tell her you'll call her after.

Here we fucking go.

You walk out on the stage and the crowd begins with their clapping and cheers. You look out and give them all a wave as you plaster a smile on your face.

You see Rebecca seated in her chair as you make your way across the stage. She stands and greets you before you take your place across from her.

The questions start simple. "How have you been?" "What new projects are you working on?"

She lets you talk about your new album which makes you feel excited and a little more relaxed. Maybe she won't bring him up.

"Nova will be performing a song from her upcoming album for the first time for all of you!" Rebecca cheers. The crowd is filled with excitement as you make your way to the side of the stage.

The lights dim and you take the mic in your hand.

"Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

If I shall die before I 'wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take."

You speak the first verse slowly. You close your eyes and shut out the people around you. You feel the music running through your veins as you begin to sing.

"I, I keep a record of the wreckage of my life.

I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind.

They talk shit, but I love it every time.

And I realize..

I've tasted blood and it is sweet.

I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet.

I've trusted lies and trusted men.

Broke down and put myself back together again.

Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters.

Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger.

I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers

And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors.

"Come on, little lady, give us a smile"

No, I ain't got nothin' to smile about.

I got no one to smile for, I waited a while for

A moment to say I don't owe you a goddamn thing.

I, I keep a record of the wreckage of my life

I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind

They talk shit, but I love it every time

And I realize..

I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night.

That I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night.

No, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth.

And Imma let you speak if you just let me breathe.

I've been polite, but won't be caught dead.

Lettin' a man tell me what I should do in my bed.

Keep my exes in check in my basement,

'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent.

I could play nice or I could be a bully.

I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be.."

You lose yourself in your song as you perform. Fuck, I missed this.

"Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware.

But I'd rather be a real nightmare than die unaware, yeah.

Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware.

But I'm glad to be a real nightmare, so save me your prayers..."

You finish the song softly.

"I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night.

That I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night."

The crowd cheers wildly as the lights brighten. You smile and give your lip a little bite. They liked it.

You start to feel a new confidence. One that's been missing these past few months. Maybe Lisa was right. This was needed.

You take your seat again across from Rebecca who praises you dramatically. She's so fake. Her personality and her entire face. It's not my business.. I'm just saying. You wouldn't recognize her if you had met her 5 years ago.

"Dark and dramatic and sexy all at once. I love it!" she purrs.

You give her a smile and thank her before glancing at the clock. It's almost over.

"Now.. a question we've all been wondering.."

Don't do it.

Your smile immediately fades.

"What happened between you and Eddie Munson? Everyone thought the two of you would be together forever. Well maybe not forever.. this is the fourth time you guys have split? The last one was pretty nasty." she flings the words out before you can even process.

This bitch. I can't overreact. It's a taping but there are people here, fans. She knows what she's doing.

There are murmurs throughout the crowd.

Calm down, Nova. Breathe.

"I like to keep some things private. My romantic life being one of them. I hope everyone here can understand that." you repeat the rehearsed lines Lisa fed to you before the show.

"Well I wouldn't call getting into a fight in a bar in front of one hundred people very private... what started that? Did he cheat?" she lowers her voice on the last word as if everyone in the room can't hear your conversation.

"Rebecca, I was in this industry before Eddie. I am an artist. My entire life doesn't revolve around Eddie fucking Munson." you spit the last words and Rebecca does a dramatic gasp.

Shit.

"I think this interview is done." you quickly make your way off the stage.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You call Sal and rush down the stairs. The paparazzi is waiting for you as you open the doors.

"Nova! Over here!" Shouts and screams surround you as the flashes blind your eyes. Sal quickly makes his way to you and helps you into the car.

He pulls off quickly as your tears begin to fall.

"Home, Ms. Gray?"

"No... I.. can you take me to see him?" you sniffle.

Sal nods and turns down the familiar street. He slowly comes to a stop in front of the apartment building.

"Want me to wait?" Sal asks as you open the door to leave.

"No. Thank you, Sal." you say before shutting the door behind you.

You walk in and the security guard gives you a nod as he lets you past him. You slip in the elevator and chew your lip as you watch the floor numbers rise.

You reach his floor and stand in front of his door. Your phone goes off in your pocket.

Max: Any requests for lunch or you want me to pick?

Fuck.

The door opens and you look up to see his dark brown eyes. A shit eating grin on his face.

"Hello, sweetheart."

*A/N: lyrics from Halsey's song Nightmare

Masterlist to follow along 🖤

i kinda get this bc tc is the most recent game, but i feel like the first three get unnecessarily harsh hate when it comes to dialogue, especially 1. It was written 7 years ago by clueless white frenchmen (badly) mimicking how american teens talked. and personally since max is so socially awkward I thought some of her odd dialogue made since for her since she’s kinda always out of the loop? but I didn’t think bts or lis2 had bad dialogue but they still get hated on, esp sean and chloes lines

LiS as a whole gets a lot of hate because it's easy to hate on. It's a very openly left-leaning game series in a pretty misogynistic industry; it's slow-paced and character-driven, and all of its protagonists are unconventional for video games. That hasn't stopped me from liking the series anyway because haters are honestly not worth my time, but I still think some scenes from LiS1 are a little embarrassing to rewatch. But that's kind of the point, right? You cringe at the angry teenagers telling off their parents, or the bullies who torment kids because they don't know any better, and young people with way too much grief on their shoulders. It's the reality of high school, despite the preppy boarding school setting.

Looking back, I believe that people think that outdated slang = bad writing, which is hardly the case. Outside of the slang, I thought LiS was well-written overall, particularly with exposition. You learn everything you need to know through Max's journal and context clues, but you don't have to read it if you don't want to. Then Chloe recognizes Max, and the scene in the truck catches you up in case you missed anything:

"'Oh, and thanks, Chloe!' After five years you're still Max Caulfield." (Chloe's a little sarcastic but also annoyed, and this line indicates they know each other already)

"I thought it would be quiet here. Feels so weird to be back." "So I guess Seattle sucked hard?" (Indicates that Max used to live here and Chloe has known her long enough to know where she moved to)

"So you came back to Arcadia for a teacher...not your best friend." (Establishes their prior friendship)

"My step-douche has a boatload of tools. Maybe you can fix it at my place." (Hints at what happened to William, shows off Chloe's snark more, establishes David and Chloe have a strained relationship, and sets up the next scene at Chloe's house)

It's all very tightly written and still manages to show off both of their personalities and character flaws (Max's indecision and flakiness, Chloe's impatience and long-held grudge). The cutscenes are also short and to-the-point, but the moments of calm let the player go at their own pace. And that's not even touching on the pacing, drastic tonal shift, plot twists, cinematography, and visual and environmental storytelling that makes this game so memorable.

mind if i shine some light on phastos and druig's dynamic real quick? It's very much implied that before they separated, druig liked hanging out in phastos' lab while he was working. They seem to be the most affected by not being able to do anything as humans hurt and kill eachother through centuries. And that scene at the end where phastos goes for the handshake but druig hugs him and tells him the planet's lucky to have him. It shows druig isn't as much of an asshole as you'd think he is? (1)

(2) like he can be a bit dickish but also, that's his 7000 year-old family, he loves them! Also the scene where the both of them and makkari are snuggled on the couch eating pizza, and makkari's smile when they hugged. It's so sweet i love them

you're totally right!! that's honestly one of the reasons i love druig, like at first i was like oh man, grouchy grouch being a hater is funny and Cute™ but then the more i thought about it and the more i inspected his interactions with the others, it became evident that he cares about all of them - he's just bitter about the situation they've been placed in. b/c they're forced to become bystanders and watch the very people they were sworn to protect, suffer. tbh, if i were druig, i'd be angry af too?? plus, families always fight and eventually come back together. i think druig displays that aspect of familial relationships the best through his interactions with the other eternals!!! he feels like the younger brother who's withdrawn and kind of sullen sometimes, but also loves to poke fun & stands up for his family members when they need him. anyway, props to marvel (and chloe zhao esp!!) for creating such a nuanced character. if anything he could've ended up becoming the average I Hate Everyone But You guy (which isn't necessarily bad per se, just kinda overdone.) yet his interactions with his fellow eternals and his motivations have made him into so much more than that. can you tell i'm obsessed with this character (i just realized this descended into a druig textpost when it was about druig AND phastos omg i'm so sorry?? but i also love my boy phastos and i would be open to any asks about him 🥰 i love the arc he goes through as well and i could wax poetic about that lmfao)

MJ's Playlist

Link: Witty Persona

What If by Tokio Hotel

“And if you are down for something, I want a piece of your heart. Come, let's just not do anything. Give me a piece of the stars.”

Ground Control by All Time Low feat Tegan & Sara

“Hey, I promise you will be fine, got the universe on your side. When you're out in space, don't you be afraid, no, if you start floating away.”

Neverland by Zendaya

“Picture a land you'll never have seen, where life is eternal and evergreen. Future of happiness is all in your hands. All in this place I created, that I call Neverland.”

Fall by Chloe x Halle

“So what if the rain falls? Let's find the gold at the end of the rainbow... So what if the sky falls? We'll play hide and seek with the stars. Let the rain fall. Let the sky fall... Let it all fall.”

Like I Do by AWA

“Can't nobody tell me how to do it. Oh, I'm gonna love me loud. Became a habit, now I harmonize with the thoughts from my paradigm.”

Replay by Zendaya

“Don't stop. Turn it on, turn it up, make it louder. I don't wanna miss a single thing. I wanna hear every melody.”

Do It by Chloe x Halle

“Just tell the DJ, "Press play, rewind, keep it on repeat". Tip-toe 'round a hater, I'm light on my feet. That's how you do it, keep stuntin' on your enemies. Good vibes only.”

Into You by Ariana Grande

“Oh, baby, look what you started. The temperature's rising in here. Is this gonna happen? Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move before I make a move.”

More of You by Victoria Monét

“Take me to paradise with your movement, just like an ocean wave. Then we can float away on the music, I wanna sing your name. 'Cause nothing' else matters but the stars I see in your eyes.”

Hands Free by Keke Palmer

“There's something 'bout you, I wanna say, that's got me so sexual. It was so magical. About that shit here, that we got, it is so natural.”

Something New by Zendaya

“Don't know your name, but I guess I really don't care. I probably should wait, but I wanna let you go there. I wanna try something new, all night.”

Underwater by Mika

“'Cause all I need is the love you breathe. Put your lips on me and I can live underwater.”

Heaven by Justine Skye

“I always feel like I'm forsaken, with you I feel safety... I've never been a saint but maybe that'll change. Paradise ain't far when you got someone who lights your dark.”

Profile | Personality & Abilities | History

Just as with Disco Elysium, here's my Life is Strange "how much I'd like to f*ck/date the guys" tier list. Please note I haven't played LiS2 lol I'll stay vague about True Colors but I *will* spoil LiS & LiS BtS.

Let's go in order, shall we?

Skip Matthews: Skip is THE guy I thirsted on, in Before the Storm. I was still high on that Will Graham thirst and this guy right here didn't nothing to quell my thirst. He has everything: the uniform, the hair, beard, posture, pathetic vibes... he even does nice music! And he's one of the few adults who's really chill with Chloe. Damn. I love him.

Charles Eriksen: Obviousy physically, he's my thing (what a surprise). Apparently his wife is dead and he became an alcoholic? Yeah it only adds to the whole thing. (You all know by now that I'm a lost cause lmao)

Diego Morales: Have you *seen* him?

Brody Holloway: Oh a bear journalist with glasses, what's not to like? Apparently he's even a nice guy!

Frank: Listen at this point if you're still surprised, there's nothing I can do for you. He's not relationship material but. He can get it.

Gabe Chen: COME. ON. What a stud. Everybody loves him and that's for a reason. He's charming as hell and absolutely hot. He's also a nerd, and we love nerds in this house.

Jacob Hackerman: That gay guy from LiS2 I know of because he's the gay guy you can't date. He's cute!

Mac: Is he a jealous pathetic fuck? Yes. That's my brand. Well I could do without the jealous part, but he's insecure. I can fix him. Or make him worse. He's an awful guy, but he's nothing compared to...

Mark Jefferson: Ooh boy. Yeah he's an evil guy, yeah he's probably terrible in bed and wouldn't shut up about art nouveau and whatnot, but I'm weak. I'm just a sl*t, folks.

Pike: It's the dad energy. He's Hopper but thinner (*sad*) but he still has that dad energy. I'm weak.

Ryan: THE MOMENT MY EYES FELL UPON HIM, I KNEW I HAD TO DATE HIM. Damn. Just. Damn. His role in the storyline is *chef's kiss*. He's also much more present that Steph imo, like Steph is "around you" and Ryan is "next to you" if you know what I mean? I dunno. Damn he's great. (ALSO THAT SCENE IN CHAPTER 2 IS BEAUTIFUL, COME ON)

Chloe's dad: He's a nice dad.

Justin Williams: He's just chilling, he's nice, that's a goal right there. 100% would date. He's so chill. Very lovable character. I can't do my loving of the character enough justice. He's chilling when everyone else is either hyper or an ass.

Esteban Diaz: Oh another dad! He seems nice. Hope nothing bad happens to him.

Joey Peterson: He's beautiful but he's also one of the few characters that really look dateable. He's husband material, not just f*ck buddy material. I've got a ring for you, sir.

Nathan Price: Listen we all know Nathan is awful and IRL I'd absolutely steer away from that kind of person, but it's a videogame and I can!!!! Fix him!!!!

The bouncer from BtS: Not only can he protect you with his muscles, but he's genuinely a fun guy from what little screentime he has. It helps that Chloe's backtalk mechanic is so silly it makes him immediately endearing.

Warren: Haters gonna hate but I actually decided to date him with Max in LiS1. Okay here's the thing: I feel like dating Chloe comes with a lot of baggage. She can be annoying as fuck at some points in the game, and I understand it, I really do, I see where she's coming from and I absolutely cried in the DLC of BtS, but she's still A LOT to deal with. Meanwhile Warren is just generally supportive of Max, even though she's kind of an ass to him lmao. The narrative pushes Chloe/Max as far more canon than Warren/Max, and the Warren/Max romance feels like their kiss in EP5 is just something Max does to make him happy in this apocalypse, even though she doesn't really love him. It's clear she doesn't have the same relationship with him as with Chloe. But in the end, I've fallen for the nerdy nice guy (and not "nice guy" like someone else in this list...)

The rest of them: Eww. Though I have to say I quite appreciate the theatre teacher. The play part in BtS felt awfully close to home, in both the best ways and the worst ways. I've rarely felt so conflicted on a piece of media hahahaha

Thomas Astruc: we're scrapping Felix because he's not a good influence on little kids and we don't want them to think they should all have crushes on a guy like him. We're replacing him with Adrien, who's is PERFECT and FLAWLESS and if you think there's ANYTHING WRONG with him that needs to be addressed in the show you're a hater and I'm blocking you :/ (I mean... this is basically what happened right?)

Yeeep. I kinda think more and more that Fe was scrapped because he was very obviously flawed, and just, oh no, we can’t have a boy be so clearly flawed! This is supposed to be about girls and them being super flawed and only them needing to face consequences for their behaviors and mistakes. 

I will say and agree, that on the surface, Adrien is a better example for kids than Felix is, especially on who to have a crush on. Someone that is encouraging and supportive of you, readily acknowledges your capability and is a solid friend and partner to have in your life, romantic or platonic. 

Compared to Felix, who is cold, distances himself, can be mean when pushed to the limit, and has a motivation that sets him against LB, sparks a partnership that can make trust iffy; yeah, Adrien is a more solid example on the surface. 

But, go past that surface, well, then Adrien is less of a good role model. He does stuff that’s not encouraging and not a good example for kids. 

Copycat, his jealousy and pinning the blame on LB.

Glaciator, that unhealthy mindset that just because LB wasn’t clear in her no, that that means that yes, she could come to his date; and then gets upset at her when she doesn’t and she, who isn’t in the wrong, has to be the bigger person about it. 

Prime Queen, sparks an idea that they’ll date in the future while she’s clearly uncomfortable. And then repeatedly tries to kiss her when its clear that she’s not interested in it. 

Then a lot of the time just allowing Chloe to do what she wants, only really once stepping up about it and then just “lol, she’ll never change lets have fun with all the misery and hurt she causes, we can put up with it” and just… 

Adrien is flawed and isn’t perfect; but he is treated as such because these issues in him aren’t acknowledged nor do they work to fix them. Felix, who has clearer issues going on with him, if he did the same it’d be harder to ignore them or paint him as the one who should be in the right… though I suppose they could do the same as they do with Chloe, who has yet to really face up or apologize to what she’s done, and the few moments she moves forward are treated as big and celebratory.  

Anway! Yeah, I can see Felix being far more clearly flawed being the reason they got rid of him and replaced him with Adrien, who is easier to paint as a perfect character. On the surface, he is a better role model, but go deeper and there are issues of Adrien as a role model, with issues that can be easily overlooked since they don’t really want to point them out, like Copycat we were set up to feel bad for Adrien because LB didn’t see him romantically, despite the fact that he just lied to and about her. 

Rio & Nancy

Rio: You know Rio: If you like, I could sleep with Mr. Tomlinson Rio: Take the heat and shine off you all in one, just ask Nancy: It's a kind offer Nancy: But it's not gonna fix any of the important stuff Nancy: And it's not like you deserve any of what would come from that unholy union Rio: Okay, you could give me names of the worst offenders and I'll sort them out Rio: not in similar fashion to teach, of course Rio: How are you really though, babe? Stupid question but gotta come Nancy: You can't take on half the school, Rio Nancy: If it was that easy I'd still be in London Nancy: Maybe it's a stupid question but I've only got an obvious answer so Rio: Sure I can Rio: Ain't my first rodeo Rio: Is there anything of actual use I can do to make everything not totally shit or? Nancy: Don't be nice to me Nancy: I can't handle it Nancy: And I just re-applied my make-up Rio: You ain't wronged me Rio: along with half the School, like but they LOVE taking shit personal when 10 minutes ago it was Quinn who? Rio: And we've all put our waterproof to the test before Nancy: If it was just her I wouldn't be thinking about leaving Nancy: Tristan literally has half the school on his side and it's not like I can blame him Rio: It's just insecurity Rio: 'cos you're not a total sadcase like the kids she usually works with, can't pick on them for loving on his Ma or swinging at her whatever Rio: he's just taking out his blatant issues about it 'cos he ain't had the chance before Nancy: Am I not? What would you call me? Nancy: Yeah, bit like how I was with his dad Nancy: At least he's got real issues, I've got...imaginary emotions? Or something Rio: Hmm Rio: I might throw hopeless romantic at you if I'm feeling really savage Rio: Nah, they ain't imaginary Rio: How much easier if they were Nancy: Hopeless is right Nancy: But I doubt either Sian or Quinn would call me romantic Nancy: Well, they weren't real. None of it was Rio: Not the fantasy in your head but the feelings were Rio: you can try and discredit them if it helps but in my experience, usually a pointless exercise Rio: but painful enough to feel somewhat fitting of a punishment, right? a start, at the very least Nancy: Ouch. Calling it a fantasy sounds....yeah let's not Nancy: I know you've got a point, that I should have let you make earlier Nancy: God, how did I let myself end up here Nancy: What the hell Rio: Sorry, as if the world wasn't ready to burst your bubble, like Rio: Shit happens Rio: You can't control it Rio: Arguably could've controlled it enough to not get to that point but I ain't got room or desire to judge too harshly Nancy: It's fine, I've heard worse from the world Nancy: I can though. I had been Nancy: Or so I thought Rio: 'Til you didn't Rio: exactly Rio: It's done now, the rumour mill will do it's thing, then you'll be free to deal with the actual mess in your head Nancy: It's his fault Nancy: The prick Nancy: I wouldn't have lost control if he didn't first Rio: Yeah Rio: She sounds devious Rio: Why her, like Nancy: He hates me and so does she Nancy: Match made, like Rio: He doesn't hate you, babe Rio: He's just an idiot Nancy: Okay, he hasn't forgiven me then Nancy: Point is, he's mad at me Rio: At least you've got reason to be mad at him now too, yeah? Rio: Fair fight Nancy: Like I need a reason, he didn't have one Rio: Yeah, not how he sees it though Rio: maybe you can get it all out there now Nancy: He sees things to suit him Nancy: Always has Nancy: Everything about her was right there for him to see before I left and after Rio: Yeah, it's fucked up Nancy: I shouldn't have to spell it out to him, he was right there Rio: I know Rio: I don't think it's like that Rio: like it's still shitty Rio: but it's not like, love Rio: he ain't like that, if nothing else, thank fuck, yeah Nancy: It doesn't make me feel any better Nancy: There's always girls around him, he didn't need to get with her Nancy: All their friends remember, they tagged me, so he can't have forgotten what she's like and everything she did Rio: He looked wasted Rio: in her photos Nancy: Lesbian or not, I know if he was that wasted he wouldn't have been able to get it up for her Nancy: It's not an excuse Rio: Let's not think about the logisitics Rio: it's not personal, physical reactions Nancy: You can say that, it doesn't matter to you Nancy: If he's so mad at me for moving to Dublin he shouldn't sleep with one of the main reasons why I had to Rio: Have you said this to him yet? Nancy: Fuck no Nancy: And I'm not going to Nancy: He knows what she did, he didn't stop it, whatever I didn't ask him to, but he still had a front row seat Nancy: She made sure everyone did Rio: Wouldn't it make you feel better, to rip him a new one? Nancy: Not really Nancy: I've tried enough times before Nancy: And she's the least of my worries now that half this school hates me and the other half loves me in a way I don't want, ever Rio: I can hear the threesome offers from here Rio: Ugh Nancy: Like, I get it, I'm a cliche, let me list the ways for you but then go away Rio: Keeps your inbox fun and fresh, I guess? Rio: Is it gonna be hate or love, know the feeling Nancy: I haven't even asked how you are! Nancy: Letting myself down in all the ways Rio: Oh God, same old, same old, no need to depress yourself further Nancy: Not to be like my brother and his (lack of) coping mechanisms yet again, but can we go out? Nancy: I'm over being staring at my walls or my phone crying or trying not to Rio: 'Course Rio: you're allowed to drown your sorrows at least 3 more times 'fore I'm calling you out on the parallels Rio: Anywhere with cheap drinks and GRL POWER bops? Nancy: Anywhere that my haters won't be Nancy: Because now I've called them haters which is the WORST thing Rio: 😂 Rio: May as well call 'em motivators whilst you're at it and be done with it Nancy: Sounded like a soundbite from my mum's mouth Nancy: That's the last straw. I wanna die Rio: Not before you've got a 'round in Nancy: If you come and help me not look how I feel then I'll owe you so many drinks Nancy: You'll be able to get as drunk as Buster, fuck everything up too Rio: I do owe you for the time I shamelessly stole your wardrobe so Nancy: You're literally trying to remind me and I still don't remember Nancy: So you're fine Rio: Still omw Rio: I've rocked many a makeover in my time, though it's been a while since any of 'em but Grace would let me 😂 Nancy: I have no energy to fight you Nancy: And can't look worse than I do right now Nancy: The bar is low low low Rio: Slap some cucumbers on those puffy eyes Nancy: Excuse me mum I need to take those from your water really quick, babe Nancy: 👌 Rio: When plain old water just ain't hydrating enough Nancy: @ my dehydrated but still crying self Rio: Dry it up, babe Rio: Gotta at least arrive at the club semi put together Nancy: Are they gonna let me in? Nancy: I can't do any more humiliation today Rio: Of course, you're nearly 18 anyway Rio: they let Indie in, you're fine Nancy: Tell it to Sian Nancy: And the powers that be so they don't sack her Rio: 😑 Nancy: If we're going out you need to work on your poker face Rio: I'm sorry but I'm not gonna cry for her, babe Nancy: You sound like the rumor mill Nancy: none of this is her fault Rio: Mm, she could've done more about it Nancy: She didn't know about it, what could she do? Rio: You reckon? Rio: She's a married woman and you probably weren't that subtle Nancy: You're talking to me not my brother Nancy: I can be subtle Nancy: I've had years of practice Rio: Not with love and shit Rio: No offence but you know it's true Nancy: Yes with love and shit Nancy: She didn't know until I wanted her to Rio: Okay Nancy: You don't believe me, do you? Rio: No but there's no need to push the issue Rio: you can't know either way now Rio: but they won't sack her Nancy: You should Nancy: You say I can't, but I do know, 'cause I've been over every moment in my head Nancy: I wish she did know, before, and she felt the same as I do but that's not gonna happen Rio: Yeah, and every time you go over it, the memory changes Rio: Sorry but you're not a trusted source on this Rio: especially 'cos you still wish that Nancy: I know Nancy: I can't just stop loving her Nancy: Everyone wants me to, even her, but I don't know how to Rio: Yeah Rio: Time, that's about all that'll do it Rio: or someone else Nancy: Did time work for you? 'Cause been there tried the second option already Rio: 'Course Rio: heals all wounds don't you know Nancy: I can't say I do know that yet Nancy: I'm still angry and hurt about Chloe and Buster so Rio: That's allowed Rio: got a decent amount of time left on both before people are eye-rolling Nancy: You think? It's been years since I left Nancy: I should be over it Rio: Nah Rio: she's still the same bitch Rio: why should you try and be above it Nancy: 'Cause I came here to change Nancy: So I shouldn't be the same bitch Nancy: It's pathetic, right? Rio: No, 'cos you weren't the bitch to begin with Rio: You don't need to change Nancy: if the alternative is this Nancy: i want to Nancy: I hate this Rio: Okay Rio: How do you wanna be? Rio: Let's make it happen Nancy: where to start, like Rio: You tell me, babe Nancy: My extensive wardrobe doesn't include a chastity belt so I'm gonna need more self control Nancy: Any ideas? Nancy: Not an app for building that as far as I know Rio: Hmm, idk Rio: could get yourself on tinder, the awfulness of people looking for a quick hookup will do wonders for your sex drive Nancy: Lord Nancy: That's a scarily good idea Nancy: Anywhere where straight guys exist in numbers Rio: The club will be the IRL embodiment so tonight is your lucky night Nancy: Luck isn't on my side lately but i've got nothing to lose Rio: That's the spirit Rio: Might as well put all your chips down now Nancy: Keep my phone for me later? Drunk dialing Quinn at the end isn't gonna work out the way it did at the start Rio: Not yet anyway Rio: Time, yeah? Rio: You take mine, swapsies Nancy: Likely not ever Nancy: You didn't see her Nancy: But sure, your phone camera gets me Rio: Never say never Rio: unless it's your married teacher Nancy: Don't give me undeserved hope Rio: I dunno Rio: It's not like you were married, you know Rio: or you properly cheated Nancy: Yeah but that's only because I didn't have the chance Nancy: I was still thinking about Sian most of the time Nancy: That's gotta hurt Rio: Bit insulting, yeah Rio: I wouldn't go back but maybe she liked you Rio: Either way, don't think there's anything you can do to make ammends rn so Nancy: She told me she liked me Nancy: And because I'm the worst human I didn't stop it Rio: Hardly Nancy: You're too nice to kick me when I'm down Rio: I ain't Rio: And I ain't above using someone for my own shit, not many are Nancy: I'm just as bad as him Nancy: Fucking twinning Rio: Different sins Rio: If you're gonna make like him, try not to give a shit about it, right? Take the perks with it Nancy: If only Nancy: At least he didn't like Chloe and use her anyway Nancy: That's just me and what I'm looking for in a girlfriend Rio: Oh, babe Rio: what a mess Nancy: Help me Nancy: Should I just go back to London or? Rio: Hmm, I don't know Rio: It'd maybe hurt less to not see either of them Rio: but you'd be more alone Rio: but, either way, it's a year and you're out of both Nancy: I don't know either Nancy: I wanna see them both so much and that's why I shouldn't be near either of them, right? Nancy: But June will murder me if I leave and I'll murder Buster if I have to share a house with him all the time again Nancy: Summer was Nancy: Oh God Rio: You're not a monster, you're allowed to feel that Rio: You aren't going to do anything else, the mistakes have been made, you're on learning time Rio: I can't really see London working, to be honest Rio: It'd be a step back, more than all...this Nancy: Yeah. I don't love it there. Closer to being at home here by far Nancy: I know I'm just scared to stay Nancy: But I need to girl up and stick it out, like Rio: Yeah Rio: We're all here Rio: that's a good % of the school pop so fuck it Nancy: 😂 real Nancy: be on your way faster 'cause whatever is closest or coldest in this fridge is being opened now Rio: 👍 Rio: Had to sort my own self but I'm in my car Rio: not looking a total state now, welcome Nancy: teach me how to make cocktails so I can make new friends? Rio: Ooh Rio: Fun Rio: Grandad gonna be pissed off but deal, old man Nancy: sorry but I need the gays to protect me now, granddad I can't wait for you to come over and be fabulous Rio: I'll invite some of my gay friends if you want Rio: not a hoe you out vibe Nancy: They'll back right off when they sense my 💔 so bring whoever you want Rio: See who's about and up for it Rio: first though, some tlc Nancy: If you bring a boy you like I'll promise not to gag Nancy: Or cry Rio: Trust, there are no boys making me gag or cry atm Nancy: Gross Rio: 😂 Nancy: And I assume disappointing? 🤔 Is that the goal, penis so big it almost kills you or? Rio: Oh honey 😏 Rio: I don't believe for a sec you're so 💔 that you're ready for the lowdown on the d Nancy: Trying to talk about you and your interests since I haven't shut up about me Rio: Sweet Rio: Maybe when I'm drunker myself I'll tell you all about it Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: So there's stuff to tell Nancy: Knew it Rio: Nahhhhhhh Rio: Not my own personal penis Rio: just the basics Nancy: Like basic teenage boys from your street or Ann Summer's basic range? Nancy: Either way, do better if I have to live through you Rio: Damn Rio: Pressure weren't real enough already, like 😜 Rio: Ma like, where's those grandkids @ Nancy: Like she wouldn't come at me with the same question Rio: We're all slacking Rio: for shame Nancy: Wait until she hears about my celibacy Nancy: Sorry auntie Nancy: I gotta do what I gotta do Rio: 'til you 👀 some cuties in the cloob Nancy: I'm giving myself to god Nancy: she's a babe Nancy: full nun mode activated Rio: You talking about Ariana Grande? Nancy: Never Nancy: I've got enough drama in my life without fancying a straight celeb Rio: Celebs don't count Rio: ask anyone, free pass, like Rio: off chance she's out in dubo tonight Nancy: It's 🌈 icons or nothing Nancy: But it's nothing, obviously Nancy: feel free to hit her up yourself though Rio: Picky Rio: I'm good tho, not really my type either Nancy: I could make a bunny joke but we don't need to get back into the Ann Summer's shelves Rio: Don't we? Rio: Celibacy ain't gon' be easy babe Nancy: I've done it before Nancy: First girlfriend, remember Rio: Pringle rules Nancy: Never say that again Nancy: Touches too much of a nerve, which in itself sounds dirty so Rio: 😂 Nancy: Don't laugh at me Nancy: Why did I have to ruin my life? Nancy: 😭 Rio: You had to know, yeah? Nancy: But I should've known anyway Rio: You'd always have a what if Nancy: Yeah but I've just swapped one for another 'cause now Quinn's a what if instead Rio: She's a has been now Rio: in the nicest possible way Nancy: Ouch Rio: Not a never ever though Nancy: Safe to assume Nancy: I wouldn't have me back Rio: Yeah but you're living up to your name rep rn Nancy: ? Rio: A negative Nancy Rio: sure that's not old Nancy: I was going on the McKenna part and I was like, how insulting is this gonna get? Rio: Too real for tonight Nancy: Too real for this month Rio: I'll allow it Nancy: Oh god, I'm gonna have to change all my birthday plans Nancy: Don't let me think about that Rio: Yeah, don't Rio: we'll sort something Rio: but I'm here Rio: pour me a drink and lemme in Nancy: 👌👌 Nancy: Excuse mum and dad's scowls Rio: 😬 Rio: Should I move my car lads Nancy: Back to the 24 and away from my bad influence I'm sure they'd say right now Nancy: not a direct quote Rio: I'll chat 'em round Rio: parents love me Nancy: 😏 Rio: Rude! Nancy: Hey, I'm preparing you for the kind of quality banter you'll have to get used to hearing if you hang around me Rio: Alright, the craic starts here Rio: deal with it, 'rents Nancy: 💚🍀

Zoey is all about romance in this week’s grown-ish, but her player-antics might blow up in her face. Full recap of “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late” by @luvthispayne.

Courtesy of Freeform/Byron Cohen

  We are back y’all! I’ve been waiting for this all week and this week’s episode did not disappoint. Let’s just get straight to it.

Last week we left off with Zoey getting a “u up” text from BaeRon (pronounce this as Bae-ryyyyyyynnnnnnn in Teyanna Taylor’s voice) Zoey promptly, like damn girl can you even wait 5 minutes, responded yeah. Well since that night, Sis has gotten at least two other “u up” texts from Aaron and her first kiss. Wait. Her. First. Kiss. Awwwww, all the damn feels. Buuuuut her first kiss and she’s in love. I canna. If the first kiss has her in love, lawd don’t let her get the …… *loses signal*

Image Source: Tenor.com

  So about these “u up” texts, Zoey is all kinds of confused. The first couple of times she got them, she responded and it led to her and Aaron fooling around. We don’t really know what fooling around means, other than maybe some kissing and heavy petting as the old folks would say. I am really showing my age with that one lol SHUT UP!!! GET OFF MY LAWN!

Zoey needs some help sorting out how to feel so she calls a girls gathering in the middle of the night but the opinions are about as mixed and varied as a bag of trailmix. One the one hand, the twins believe that if Zoey responds to yet another “u up” text from Aaron that it basically insinuates that she’s a hoe and DTF (if you don’t know what that stands for, google it. I won’t do everything for you). I mean it is 2:30am.

  Then you have Nomi (thank God for Nomi), who assures her that if she responds its because she wants to. And there is nothing wrong with a booty call, especially if y’all both want the booty. Nomi tries to explain that there is nothing wrong with a young woman exploring her sexuality and having the desire same as a man. Okay. GIRL!

  Then there’s Ana who simplistically believes that the texts are just because he’s thinking about her, and that’s why Aaron is texting her at 2:30am. I would think her naivete was cute if she wasn’t doling out terrible ass advice.

Courtesy of Freeform/Byron Cohen

  Did someone say terrible advice, the entire discussion of the texts brings up another problem. Zoey doesn’t exactly know what hooking up means. She mentions that she responds to the text because she just wants to hookup with Aaron. She thinks hooking up means just hanging out. Look I ain’t that old but even I know hooking up has always meant two bodies doing the vertical tango. Zoey’s not the only one who doesn’t know what it means because Ana volunteers that she hooked up with her Uncle just last night at his hotel and it didn’t include anything sexual. Someone please call Child Protective Services.

  Ultimately, Zoey decides to play the long game and figures that not responding to Aaron’s text at all might just work in her favor because she’ll make him wait. Let’s just go ahead and crown Zoey #MissTeamBadDecisions2018 of Cal U because I swear it’s been one dumb decision after another. But thats college I guess.

The next day Zoey has blown Aaron off but she has to see him in class because they sit right next to each other. In class and Sis is giving him the cold shoulder and at first it seems to be working because he is laying on compliments HEAVY! I’m all cheering like okay girl, you got him right where you want him. But as soon as Zoey starts to feel her little self, Aaron leaves class early with a new bae of his own. We don’t know his other chick is but Zoey is seething with envy and hateration and holleration in the dancery.

  Girl that’s what happens when you out here playing more games than Jigsaw. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Zoey needs a new plan to get Aaron back and lord I wished her friends or at least her roommate was around before she launched her plan. Sis texts Aaron and when he doesn’t respond immediately she goes into text diarrhea. Send HALP! Sis is spiraling out of control and I am HOLLERING IN MY HOUSE, OH GOD STOP!

  Zoey starts texting everything from songs to asking for joint checking accounts and baby names. I mean, all she didn’t send was a Marvin’s Room, I’m just saying you can do better text. My god, I cringed thinking about just how many texts she sent and how embarrassingly awful they all were. What’s worse is that Aaron’s response was literally “Please stop.”

At this point, death really is her only option because I mean she looks NUTS. Like certified nuts. If I was Aaron, I’d be considering a restraining order. Given her humiliation, Zoey feels that the most logical way to get over one man is to get under another. Makes perfect sense.

  Who’s the new bae, Luca! Yes, the WEEKDAY is about to be her new 9-5 and Weekend. Now I genuinely can’t tell if Zoey is truly feeling Luca, which it seems like she is, or if she’s just spending time with him to occupy herself and make Aaron jealous. If it’s the first, then obviously, I am pro-Zoey, girl get your Luca on. If it is the latter, then girl DO BETTER!

My gut tells me its the latter because no long after she and Luca start getting cozy, Aaron pops back into her life and now she’s balancing two BAES! This doesn’t seem like it’s going to work out in her favor because let’s be real we’ve seen Zoey’s multi-tasking skills and they suck. Last time she tried juggling things she ended up mildly addicted to adderall.

For a minute things seem to be going well. I mean she’s keeping her calendar tight, avoiding pics with them both, and geo-tagging locations so there are no run ins. Sidenote: the fact that this geotagging is a thing is scary as all hell and millennials frighten me. Also just binged black mirror so lowkey all technology frightens me.

But back to Zoey, there’s only so long Sis can try and keep both balls in the air before they come crashing down on her head. Crash and burn. Now y’all know that Luca and Aaron been arguing since day ONE in Dr. Telphy class. Not only is oey balancing two men but she’s doing so with two men who cannot STAND EACH OTHER. This is messy and I love it.

  Zoey gets caught facetiming Aaron while on skype with Luca. They see each other and it’s an immediate roast fest. Aaron said that Luca looked like Willow Smith and I am pretty sure that my ghost is writing this recap because last night I died. Total help me sing. Anyway, the biggest loser in all of this ends up being Zoey because both the guys find out about each other and both want nothing to do with her. Yeah well she earned it. Now Zoey’s a ball of confused mess. While sulking we meet another character, Dean Parker.

Courtesy of Freeform/Craig Sjodin

Courtesy of Freeform/Byron Cohen

  Dean Parker takes the time to give his troubled student a few pearls of wisdom about relationships; mainly about communication and honesty. After their chat, Zoey is feeling better about how to move forward and vows that she’ll be more honest with herself those she’s dating. More importantly, she resolves that she is going to try and focus more on why she’s college in the first place; her education. I am beaming with pride. The baby is growing up and learning life lessons and look at her.

  It doesn’t last long because like 8 hours later, she meets a new guy named Cash, and got damnit if we ain’t right back where we started. Is Cash just going to be another ploy in her plot to woo Aaron, chile probably. Hey, Cash boo though. He’s a chocolate cutie.

Courtesy of Freeform/Byron Cohen

  Will our girl end up with more egg on her face? I seriously hope not because I really want #MissBadTeamBadDecisions2018 to give her crown to someone else. But we’ll just have to wait until next week to see what happens! See you then.

    Ashley is a lawyer by day and a television, social media enthusiast by night. Catch her on twitter spreading black girl magic. Twitter: @luvthispayne RECAP: ‘grown-ish’ Season 1, Episode 3 “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late” Zoey is all about romance in this week's grown-ish, but her player-antics might blow up in her face.