“Finn, I think I'd like to wake up now.” 55 - S3 E3 - Memory of a Memory

Marceline strums on her guitar one night at the treehouse, after the stuff with Ash and her memories got fixed. She doesn't like thinking about the past, more than she has to, but just now it doesn't hurt so much anymore. She thinks, memories are a funny thing. They come and go; she thinks about the tide. It rises and it falls.

The echo of the past, of the days and thoughts and times that made you, hurts more some days, and others, it hurts less.

It was funny, she realizes slowly, her fingers gently working out a tune and below her floating body, a human boy and a talking dog are winding down, getting sleepy. It's a comforting thing, immersed in what feels like family to her.

There's a lot of feelings right now. Most of them don't hurt much.

(She can see the spiky heights of the Ice Kingdom from here. They sit there like a huge brooding beast; not the kind of monster that chases you, but like the kind that just sits and waits. It's like inevitability, too. The worst kind is the one that stays there, and you can't forget it no matter how much you try.

She thinks about Hambo, lost in the clutches of a witch, and she wants to cry. It's an old hurt, but the day's events have her mourning all over again.

Nonetheless. She did think 'most' for a reason. Just for a while, she can pretend its all okay, that being on speaking terms with her dad is the best she can do.

Marceline doesn't know it, but from a distance, the Ice King has noticed her. He is sitting there, and his brain is a painful stew of compulsions and misfiring memories and vague reminders of stuff he thinks he wants. Maybe tomorrow it'll be something bad. Maybe tomorrow he'll just forget about until her name pops up like a buoy too big, too important to be ignored, something so heavy that a huge part of his mind orbits around it even if there's no context for it anymore. 'Marceline', he says to himself, and wonders why he wants to cry but feels good about it at the same time.

He's a long way from coming back into her life. He is a long, long way from making the slow climb back up from what he has become, to being pulled back into love and light and leaving the cold behind. It can't happen for a while. But Finn and Jake are there, sometimes, sometimes enemies but just as often the closest things he has to friends, a warm and happy feeling inside that makes him want to try for them instead of just shouting until he gets his way.

Not yet. But soon enough.)

Marceline Abadeer closes her eyes. The past is an anchor, its an ocean. It sinks her deep, and pulls her under, and it seems there's no end of the things that hurt her; the things she said or did, the things she wanted to say or to do but didn't do them or didn't think to do them until it was too late or she only realized she should have done it with the benefit of hindsight.

She thinks of people like Ash. She's known her fair share. She also knows, in an intellectual sort of way, she lets herself get taken in by cruel men and mean women and lets them walk all over her; the willing victim to people who knew vulnerability no matter how much she tries to snarl and bite.

She strums, the beginnings of a gentle lullaby. She looks down, at a small human boy and a dog contorted into an impossible shape that sort of looks like a smile.

She remembers a little demon girl, alone in a world with nothing quite like her. She knew there were plenty of monsters in it, and she thought she was one of them. She certainly met a lot of them, one way or another.

She didn't think she was the kind of person who deserved to live in a time of heroes, or to meet real heroes.

She glances, out of the corner of her eye, at Finn. A human, she thinks. Probably alone in all the world, as best as she can guess. Almost as much as she was, once.

She closes her eyes and keeps strumming, as he falls asleep.

She looks around the treehouse.

Funny. She thought it would hurt, hanging out here again, after thinking about Ash.

None of it felt like him here any more. It was just Finn and Jake's place.

She let herself drift away into a kind of half-sleep, and she let one eye open for a moment to look out the window at the Ice Kingdom. She let the reminder stick there, just needling into her heart for a bit, and it felt okay. She was fine with hurt.

Finding love like a family all over again was scarier than just being hurt.

She wondered how long it would last, and she was surprised to think that she didn't mind finding out.

Memory of a Memory Review

Finn and Jake rush to help Marceline at the calling of a wizard. It’s sweet that Finn and Jake run faster when they find out it’s their friend in peril. Finn and Jake show a lot of care for Marcy in this one. We’re at the point where they view Marceline as one of the most important people in their lives. This is really the last episode where Finn and Jake’s relationship with Marceline feels ever-evolving, this is basically the status quo of their dynamic for the rest of the series. The “wizard” knowing to turn to Finn and Jake, implies that Ash has done his research on the current state of Marcy’s life, and has probably been spying on her. Claiming he’s her spirit animal is absurd but funny. It’s an obvious hint that he’s lying, but it’s easy to believe that it could be true in this weird world.

Ash claims he can’t be the one to help Marcy because he has no arms. It’s a funny excuse that works to add more suspicion. Finn and Jake enter Marceline’s memories to erase a sleeping spell. It’s an exciting premise on the face of it, given we still know almost nothing of her backstory. We start at an early point in Marceline’s life, and move mostly in chronological order throughout. We see a destroyed city, our first brief look at the world five or so years after the mushroom bomb dropped. It also serves as confirmation that Marceline lived through the apocalypse. She looks two or three years older than in the “Simon & Marcy” flashbacks, but maybe two years younger then when Simon abandons her. Her age, and possession of Hambo, places it between “Simon & Marcy” and the second flashback in “Everything Stays”. So, where the fuck is Simon? She’s running around all by herself. There’s a couple possible hand waves. Simon could be behind a tree taking a shit. He was at a period of his life where he had less control over the crown, so maybe he flew off on a crown-induced escapade, or purposefully distanced himself when he knew he was going to have an episode. He could also be searching for ways to summon Hunson Abadeer. It’s not exactly canon-shattering, but it's definitely a bit of a continuity error. The crew had some idea that there’s a deeper connection between Ice King and Marceline, as evidenced by hints in “Holly Jolly Secrets” and “Marceline’s Closet” this season, but this scene is clearly a result of them not really having the Simon and Marcy backstory planned yet. The most striking disconnect is little Marcy calling Hambo her “only friend”. In “Betty”, Marceline instead refers to Simon as her only friend during that period of her life. Marceline sews Hambo’s button eye back on, like Simon how sews a button back on Marcy’s overalls in “Simon Petrikov”. Simon must have taught her how to sew in the interceding years. She tells Hambo she’s hurting him because she loves him. This might be a coping mechanism she picked up on from Elise and/or Simon.

Finn and Jake pass by Marceline picking her nose, showing for the first time how gross she can be while by herself. Next we get to see the infamous fry eating incident, and they even got Martin Olson back for this short cameo. Marcy looks a few years older than in “Marcy & Hunson’s” flashback. I don’t think Marcy was with Hunson this whole time, it wouldn’t make sense for them to be on Earth together for a few years. This must have been one of Hunson’s infrequent awkward visits, possibly the first time they saw each other since their reunion in the previously mentioned episode. She may have even gotten the bass axe during this visit. It’s cool seeing Adventure Time already building on its pre established backstory, and they continue this trend in the next memory. Ash helps Marcy move into the treehouse, referencing “Evicted!”.

Next, probably a couple years later, we see Marceline clearly feeling checked out of her relationship. Ash comes home, revealing he sold Hambo to a witch (Maja) to get a new wand. Marceline dumps Ash, and Olivia Olson’s voice acting here is incredible, especially the “it’s over you psycho!”. Marceline dated Ash during a time when her self-esteem was at its lowest, feeling like a monster that didn’t deserve any better. Ash was probably a rebound after her relationship with Bubblegum, probably starting a relationship with him within a few decades of her breakup with PB. Ash and Marceline’s relationship is very uncomfortable to watch. The “Mar Mar” pet name makes me queasy. Ash still somehow manages to have one funny line, saying he didn’t ruin “all” of her life to defend himself. The episode just gives us tiny glimpses into a few parts of Marceline’s life. Later episodes make this up, but it would have been nice to get just another couple memories in this one. It’s funny in hindsight how we skip over all the biggest parts of Marceline’s past (Elise, Simon, the vampires, PB). If this was a later season episode, Simon and Bonnie definitely would have made appearances. 

Finn and Jake jump into the memory core, which has an unbelievably cool design, with white silhouettes over the black background. Each of the memory balls has a corresponding symbol, and I’ll do my best guess to analyze the meaning behind many of them:

-A portal to the Nightosphere: a memory involving Hunson, possibly the events of “It Came From the Nightosphere” -A roll of yarn: the first memory Finn and Jake entered of Marceline sewing Hambo

-A weight: working out after her break up with PB or Ash

-Marceline’s high heels from “Evicted!” and “Henchman”

-A tree: the memory of Marceline moving into the treehouse

-A wolf: her dog Schwabl 

-A snowman: Simon and the ice crown

-The shovel and/or grave: the death of Elise

-A hand: no idea, maybe meeting the tribe of humans in “Everything Stays”?

Finn and Jake return to the physical world, and Ash reveals he had Finn and Jake erase the memory of their breakup. Her memories of moving on from the breakup must have been altered by this too. Ash intends on bringing her back to his place. This is basically just a metaphor for date rape drugging and has to be the most traumatic thing Marceline has experienced in the present timeline of the series. Another sign of abuse is Ash’s negging, with the “that’s a relief” to Marcy saying she’s going to freshen up. 

Jake tracks Ash and Marcy down with his rarely used super-scent. Jake bashing the shed to get Ash’s attention, only to find it's the house of a defenseless goblin, is the funniest joke of the episode. Finn runs in to tell Marceline the truth. Marcy says that Ash doesn’t like her hanging out with “mere mortals”. In addition to showcasing another red flag, controlling who she sees, it provides more context to the time of their relationship. It’s the second Marceline episode in a row where bad people from her past are shown to reinforce Marcy’s past ambivalence to the lives of mortals. She was probably part of the ghost gang from “Heat Signature” shortly before or after her breakup with Ash, more company that reinforced her low self-esteem. 

Finn brings Marceline into his own memories, set inside his childhood home with Joshua and Margaret. We can see Jermaine in one of the pictures. There’s other dogs too, presumably from Joshua and Margaret’s extended family (maybe the grandmother mentioned in “Ignition Point” is one of them). Marceline sees baby Finn perform the “Buff Baby” dance. It’s second only to “Bacon Pancakes” in terms of viral sensation. It’s funny and cute, but a bit overrated. It also shows how young Finn was when he became obsessed with fighting evil. Finn looks a few years older than the flashback in “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain”, but a couple years younger than in “BMO”. Finn showing Marceline his memory of seeing her memory is such a clever solution, foreshadowed by the cleverly named title of the episode. She immediately seems to believe Finn, even before seeing the memory. This shows the trust she’s gained for Finn over the series, and that she has always known that Ash is a terrible person capable of evil. She has a muted reaction to this, but you can tell she is hurt inside. 

They really go all the way with portraying Ash as a stereotypical misogynist, with him literally telling her to get back into the kitchen. He’s a loser who can’t even make his own sandwich. Marceline and Finn beat up Ash, which is a justified response to attempted sexual assault. He’s one of the most sociopathic characters in the series, and the most despised character among the fans. He has his own hatedom. He’s fun to hate, but he’s a good character that provided a great foil to Marceline while showing the reality of how some men behave towards women. Jake stomping him with a giant foot is a perfect ending. The episode follows the route of “It Came From the Nightosphere” in using Marceline as a way to explore trauma more specific to the experience of a young woman or teenage girl. It’s also really nice to get some good Marceline drama that’s not tied to Princess Bubblegum or a parental figure for once. 

Grade: A

Memory of a memory

This one is another great Marcy-centric episode. A lot of ground covered here, what amazes me is just how efficient it is. This is Hambo's first appearance, and its little scene telegraphs effectively just how important it is for Marceline and makes the gunpunch of Ash' literally profiting off her feelings effective; despite Hambo being rather decrepit, she's still holding onto it and willing to make her own clothing worse and use the last bit of her thread in order to fix it (somewhat). These details, alongside the dilapidated background buildings and the fire hint at the larger state of ruin in the world. I can only imagine what it must have felt to have seen this one when it aired, the apocalypse that befell the world teased so strongly yet not explained whatsoever.

This initial look into her precarious childhood, plus the reminder that Hunson is an asshole, are what make what follows with her relationship with Ash more affecting. It's not hard to gather the sense she's unloved by her father and the forlorn feeling from her formative years made Marcy vulnerable to someone like Ash. I find it remarkable that while he's a cartoonish jerk, the ep is still able to aptly portray the subtler red flags to abusive relationships with him. Starting with the obvious one, that is he essentially magically drugged her in order to manipulate her (memories). Also noteworthy is the way he basically isolates her from the world, as observed by the fact that when Finn goes to rescue her from his place, Marceline warns Finn he has to leave because Ash doesn't like her hanging out with mortals. His motivations are also neatly covered when he demands Marceline make him a sandwich, leaving it clear he wants to get back with her not because of undying affections but because he's seeking someone to cook (and presumably do his chores) for him. It makes the moment when they all beat him up a really satisfying conclusion.

It's also a great episode for Finn and Marceline's friendship. It's cute to see Finn's and Jake's sense of urgency grow when they learn that it's Marceline the one who is in trouble— the fact they're on their way anyway shows they're good-natured and would help anyone who needs it, but it's nice to see them worked up for a friend. I also like the fact they waste no time in going to save her from Ash, and that Finn is willing to go as far as to be equally vulnerable to her and let her take a peek into his own head (and witness an embarrassing memory of his in the process). I like the gentle way he speaks to her, and the way Marceline reacts to his help: at this point, she has enough affection and trust in him not to blow up at him for his mistake and simply, quietly let him know she "would like to wake up now". The line delivery is quite good at selling her heartbreak as the realization sinks. It's a novel,remarkable moment of vulnerability between the two.

From an artistic viewpoint, the episode is quite fun, too: we get treated to a lot of intriguing, detailed backgrounds and play with perspective and scale. The moment when the couch gets enlarged and curved to show the shift into the first memory is great, as are the inventive transitions between the locations, and the unique, negative-like look to the memory core.

A fantastic episode only held back by the employment of the trope of the fake disabled person tricking others into sympathizing with them and Ash's excuse about being Marceline's "spirit animal".

Memory of a Memory: A wizard asks Finn and Jake to enter Marceline's memory in order to undo a sleep spell.

Escape from the Citadel: As the Lich frees the prisoners from the Citadel in order to create an army, Finn finds that meeting his biological father is more than underwhelming.

Day in Fandom History: July 25…

Finn and Jake enter Marceline’s mind to awaken her from a sleep spell she had cast on herself, only without knowing that they’re being tricked by a person in her past, i.e. her ex-boyfriend. “Memory of a Memory” premiered on this day, 12 Years Ago.

IT'S OVER, YOU PSYCHO!

Marceline

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

February 28, 2024 - American military veterans burn their uniforms calling for a free Palestine, at a vigil for Aaron Bushnell in Portland, Oregon. [source]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

there's no greater betrayal than finally starting to read a book you've had sitting for months on your shelf or your desk or your nightstand and then finding out it's bad. like. i gave you a fucking home.

someone said we had more fun in childhood because we didnt have any past memories to linger on and it has stuck with me ever since

kui is literally so brilliant at well-thought-out anatomy and character design I could just study it all day