#Lancelot is alive and is angry at arthur | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

larluce · 18 days

Text

Arthur thinks Merlin was raped (but he wasn't)

This is kind of a prequel to this post, click here if you want more context -> LINK

Tagging @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @odinjm , @hssmaureader , @daniella0 , @stressed-but-chill , @smileytrinity

When Arthur finds Merlin in the woods after being lost for 3 weeks, he feels so much joy. He doesn't remember feeling so much joy in his life. Merlin is dirty, his clothes riped and with dry blood, but alive. And that’s all he cares right now.

Arthur: (more than happy and relieved) Merlin! I thought we lost you (goes to him to give him a hug, thinking) That I lost you.

Merlin: (Backs away quickly before Arthur can hug him, wide eye and terrified)

Arthur: (confused) Merlin?

Gwain: Merls, it's us, relax (extends a hand)

Merlin: (shakes his head, frantic, and goes limping to hide behind a tree)

Lancelot: (worried) Merlin... (aproaches carefully) Merlin, it's okay. You're safe now (extends his hand, gently, with a reassuring smile).

Merlin: (shakes his head again and tries to say something but he can't, so he whimpers quietly)

Lancelot: No touching, alright. (Lifts his hands in surrender) No one is going to touch you.

Arthur: (approaches as carefully as Lancelot did) Do you recognise us? (Thinking, begging) Please, say you do.

Merlin: (Nods and tries to speak again, but closes his mouth, frustrated)

Arthur: (realises, heartbroken) You can't speak.

Arthur and the knights can only imagine the horrors Merlin endured. It's obvious he was tortured but they didn't know how much of his new behaviour is result of physical damage or trauma. For example, is Merlin too traumatized to speak or is he physically unable? Did his tortures cut his tonge? Damaged his vocal chords? And what the hell have they done to Merlin to make him so afraid of human touch?

With a lot of reassuring and patience, they manage to bring Merlin back to Camelot. It was difficult not to touch him when he kept limping and falling. And Merlin refused to use a horse for some reason, no matter how much they insisted, so they had to get a cart to transport him. When they finally arrive, they bring him to Gaius immediately so the physician can check him, but Merlin doesn't let him touch him either and he locks himself in his room. It takes days for Gaius to have a formal diagnosis for the prince.

Gaius: (reports painfully) He was starved, beaten, cut, whiped and burned several times for what I could see.

Arthur: For what you could see?

Gaius: He wouldn't let me see all the wounds (sighs). He was also immobilized with chains by the wrists, ankles and neck. He must have struggled a lot because the marks of the chains are actually worse than the torture itself.

Arthur: (his heart aching for Merlin and burning in fury for the bastards who did this, composes himself just enough to ask again) His voice... did they...did they cut his-

Gaius: No, sire. He's physically able to talk He's just too traumatized to do it. It might take a while for him to talk again.

Arthur: (sighs releaved, but still fill with sorrow) Why? Why would they do this to him? Merlin never hurt anyone, who would want to- (stops when he sees Gaius apprehensive expression) You know something.

Gaius: (hesitantly) Merlin can't speak but he can still write, sire. He... he managed to write me some things.

Arthur: (raises his voice, angry) And you tell me this now?! What did he write?

Gaius: ...

Arthur: (demands) Gaius, I order you to tell me.

Gaius: (sighs) Apparently the bandits that captured him wanted... information sire. To know all the weak spots of the castle... and everything related to you.

Arthur: (open his eyes wide, horrified and devastated, and sinks in a nearby chair) No...

Gaius: He didn't say a thing, sire. You don't have anything to wo-

Arthur: (explodes) I know he didn't! That idiot! He should have told them everything! I wouldn't have blamed him, but of course he didn't. I whish he had (breaks down and cries) This is all my fault.

Gaius: (comforting him, a hand on Arthur's shoulder) This is no one's fault but theirs. You can't prevent every conspiration, attack or attemp murder directed at you. You're the king. It's expected.

Arthur: I should have protected him better, found him sooner. I should-

Gaius: Dwelling on what if scenarios won't help you. And it definitely won't help Merlin. What he needs now is for you to be there for him, be strong for him

So Arthur does just that. When Merlin keeps locking himself in his room and refuses to leave, Arthur visits him at the door and slide pieces of paper through the door crack so Merlin can write the words he can't speak and they can have a small talk at least once a day. Arthur can hear things being thrown and broken constantly and, the first days, Merlin doesn't even pick up the paper. When Merlin finally does, the paper is returned with a short messages along the lines of "Go away", "Leave me alone" to which Arthur reponds firmly he won't, he never will, every single time. Then Merlin's messages turn longer little by little and Arthur's one sided conversations with the door are over.

The day Merlin finally leaves his room and resumes his duties is a blessing as much as it is a curse. Arthur is glad and greatful at Merlin's progress, but seeing him doing his chores silently, just noding or shaking his head when asked something, and without sharing a single smile is painful. Merlin still doesn't let anyone touch him, which everyone respects, but is specially difficult for Arthur since, he realises, he used to manhandle his manservant a lot. They still comunicate through papers when necessary, but is just not the same.

A particular day Merlin almost falls down the stairs and Arthur, forgetting his manservant boundaries for a second, catches him in reflex.

Merlin: (separates from Arthur in full panic mode, screaming) NO!

Arthur: I'm so sorry, Merlin! I didn't mean-wait (open his eyes wide in surprise) You talked?

Merlin: (unsure, repeats) No? (brings a hand to his mouth in surprise and repeats, fearful) No? (his hand goes to his neck, nervous, as if expecting something bad to happen, but then he smiles brightly and shouts, very excited) No!😃 NO!😄

Arthur: (laughs in excitment, so happy he might cry) Your voice is back! You can talk again! (about to go for a hug)

Merlin: (lifts his hands, warnly) No!😠

Arthur: (lifts his hands too, quickly) Right, sorry. (They both lower their hands at the same time) Ahm... Is 'no' the only word you can say?

Merlin: (shrugs)

Arthur: Come one, try something else.

Merlin: (hesitanly) Ar...thur?

Arthur: See? You can talk.

Merlin: (smiles softly, and says fondly) Arthur. (tries to say something more elaborated, but in the end only manages to say again) Arthur. (Purses his lips, frustrated)

Arthur: (smiles at him fondly) One word at a time, don't force yourself. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's good to hear your annoying voice again. (thinking) And hearing you saying my name and smiling. How much I missed that smile.

After that, Merlin is able to give short answers. First from 1 to 3 words and later one sentence or two. He's also more expressive now with his features, not as much as he was before, but he makes small frowns and gives small smiles from time to time. Arthur craves those moments. Even if Merlin's face contorts in fury because Arthur tried to exclude him from going on trips with him to protect him, or because Arthur doesn't do things like throwing things at him anymore because he believes Merlin's made of cristal. Arthur can’t help feeling happy because Merlin's face is finally wearing some emotion.

Then comes the day Arthur sees Merlin having a nightmare.

Arthur finds Merlin fallen asleep in his bed. Before Arthur would have get mad, but he knows through Gaius that Merlin hasn’t been sleeping well so he lets him. He starts checking his informs when suddenly he hears Merlin crying for help. Arthur runs to him inmediatly.

Merlin: (begs in his sleep, moving and crying desperatly) No! Anything but that, please.

Arthur: (tries to wake him up without touching him) Merlin, it's just a nightmare. Wake up.

Merlin: (doesn’t wake up and cries more painfully) Please! Hurts too much! Please! Stop!

Arthur: Merlin-

Merlin: Arthur! Arthur, I'm here! Please! Arthur!

Arthur: (shouts) Merlin!

Merlin: (wakes up abruptly and checks desperatly his wrists and neck)

Arthur: (comforting him) You are safe. You are in Camelot. You are safe.

Merlin: (wipes his tears and looks around) I fell asleep in your bed. I'm sorry.

Arthur: (smiles) It’s okay. (Wants to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but restrains himself) You were having a nightmare.

Merlin: I... I don't want to talk about it.

Arthur: Alright. But if you ever want to. Just know that I'm here to listen.

Merlin: (Nods in understanding and sighs) I'll get back to work. (Stands up)

Arthur: (complains, but not really) As you should. Those chores aren’t going to make theirselfs, you know?

Merlin: (smiles a little, cause he knows what Arthur is doing) Right away, sire. (Leaves)

After that, Arthur asks Gaius if he knows what Merlin's dream are about exactly, because it seemed there was a especific type of torture Merlin dreaded the most, but while Gaius seems to know, he refuses to tell him, even when he commands him. "It's not my place to tell" It's all physician says. It bugs Arthur the rest of the day. It's not until Arthur leads a trial of a rape victim that devasting realisation hits him.

That girl, that poor girl acts just like Merlin. Not letting anyone touch her, barely speaking. There are marks on her wrists of ropes the inmobilized her while she was... Just like Merlin's chains. "He must have struggled a lot because the marks of the chains are actually worse than the torture itself" Gaius had said. Merlin's nightmares. Merlin limping when they found him in the wood. Merlin not wanting to ride on a horse.

Arthur's world crushes all over again. His Merlin, his best friend was raped. Arthur can see his knights came to the same conclusion, because of the devasted expression they have when he meets them in private.

Elyan: (still in denial) It can't be... not Merlin.

Leon: It does make sense though. If none other torture seemed to work...

Percival: And Merlin has always had... very delicate features for a man.

Gwaine: Those sick bastards!

Lancelot: (no quiet believing this theory yet because he knows Merlin has magic to defend himself, but he can't share that so he just stays silent) ...

Arthur: (with deadly and serious expression) As soon as we find them, we'll make them pay. For now I want you to keep taking turns in watching over Merlin.

All knights: Yes, sire!

By month 3, Merlin talks almost as frequently as he did before, maybe with less jokes and smiles, but he's getting there. Arthur is glad some of their usual banter is back.

Merlin: (asks, shyly) Arthur? Could you... it's just I want to try something, but... you don't have to if-

Arthur: (throwing whatever he's doing inmediatly) Of course, anything. Just ask.

Merlin: (blushes a little) Could you... give me your hand?

Arthur: (his heart stops with emotion for a moment, but composes himself) Sure (he extends his hand)

Merlin: (slowly but surely joins their palms and smiles. After a moment, he says relieved to himself) Nothing happened.

Arthur: (joyful at feeling Merlin's touch again, but his heart breaking at Merlin's words) Of course nothing happened. I would never hurt you, Merlin.

Merlin: (smiles a little) I know. (Lets go of Arthur’s hand)

Arthur: (missing his touch already) If you need to... you can ask me to help you again, you know? With the whole touching thing.

Merlin: (surprised) Really?

Arthur: (nods) Whenever you want.

Merlin: (smiles a little) Thank you.

And Arthur finds himself craving those moments too. He always waits for Merlin to initiate the touch. Arthur doesn't risk doing it, fearing he could scare Merlin. So he waits. First Merlin just asks to join their hands from time to time. Then, one blessful day, Merlin tell him is okay to touch his arm or his shoulder like Arthur used to do. Arthur does it gently though, enjoying and appreciating it as he never did before. Arthur feels sense of achievement when Merlin stops tensing at his touch completly, at easy with him again.

Gwaine: (while training, sighs) I miss Merlin's hugs.

Lancelot: (sad) Me too. He's making a great progress with touch though. And he smiles more.

Percival: Remember when he asked me if I could carry him in my back?

Elyan: And you said "I could carry you with a single finger!" And then you picked him up (All the knights except for Arthur, laugh)

Arthur: (suddenly very sternly) stop chatting and get back to training.

Gwaine: Relax, princess. We were just talking about all the times Merlin-

Arthur: (raises his voice, mad) I said get back to training!

Leon: (worried) Are you alright, sire?

Arthur: (harshly) I'm fine.

Gwaine: (realising) Wait... you've never hugged Merlin before?

Arthur: ...

Gwaine: (laughing) Oh, gods! That's what it is. You're jealous!

Lancelot: (warns) Gwaine.

Gwaine: What? Is not my fault mister I'm-too-great-to-show-affection didn't get to hug Merlin before.

Leon: (seeing Arthur's increasinly furious face, warns too) Gwaine, stop.

Gwaine: And he doesn't get to be mad at us just because he'll never get to hug him now.

Arthur: (shouts and launches himself at Gwaine and they start fighting)

The rest of the knights: (try to stop them but is useless).

Arthur: (about to throw the finale punch)

Merlin: (enters the training ground and aproaches, confused) Arthur? Gwaine? What's happening?

Arthur: (gets distracted at Merlin's appearance)

Gwaine: (takes advantage and makes Arthur trip)

Arthur: (Ends with his face in a puddle of mud)

Gwaine:... 😨

Elyan:... 😧

Lancelot:...😓

Percival: ...😰

Leon: ...🤦‍♂️

Merlin: (burst out laughing) OMG! Your face! I can't! 🤣😂

All the knights, specially Arthur: (stunned but mostly mesmerised cause Merlin hasn’t laugh, properly laugh since they found him in the woods and they have missed his beautiful laugh so damn much)

Merlin: (wipes his tears of hapiness) Sorry. I'm done now.

Arthur: (Thinking, almost in panic) No, you aren't! (Turns to Gwaine and orders) Gwaine, give me your face.

Gwaine: What-

Arthur: (smashes mud in his face)

Merlin: (starts laughing again, but not as hard as before)

Lancelot: (understanding what Arthur is doing, thinks) Is not enough. (Makes a ball of mud and throws it at Elyan's face)

Elyan: Hey! 😠

Lancelot: (pointing at Merlin) Look!

Merlin: (is laughing harder)

Percival: (shouts) Mud fight! (And everyone starts throwing mud at each other)

Merlin: (still laughing) What are you doing, you idiots! Now I'll have to wash all your armors!

Arthur: Don't be dull, Merlin! Join us!

Merlin: (giggles) You're worst than children, I swear. (shakes his head but joins the fight)

Arthur's finally got his Merlin back and he'll never lose him again.

#merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin fanfic #merlin fic #merlin prompt #merthur fic #arthur and merlin #merlin and arthur #merthur prompt #Arthur thinks Merlin was raped

173 notes · View notes

wrecked-writer · 1 year

Text

Wild Sorcerer Merlin Au pt 1

Uther finds out about Merlin’s magic and he is to be executed

This is set around s2 or 3 so before evil Morgana

The gang ( Morgana, Gwen and Arthur) help Merlin escape but Merthur have a huge argument

“ I can’t believe you’ve lie to me all this time!” “I didn’t want to I just-!” “I don’t wanna hear it!”

In the end Merlin leaves with a bitter and sad relationship with Arthur

Arthur is inconsolable, his best friend and the man he loved trusted the most in the world lied to him! He is bitter and angry and so so sad.

The knights of the round table still come to be but Merlin’s role could never be replaced

Uther dies estranged from his children and Arthur takes the throne

Morgana’s dreams get so bad that she runs away to a Druid camp and is never seen from again

Years go by and not a single day has Arthur not thought of Merlin, even after his failed attempts at courting Gwen (she was always better off with Lancelot anyway)

One day while hunting they encounter a really bad and corrupted magic animal

They are losing the battle and as all hope is lost a magic burst comes in and saves them all

They’re injured and confused and scared but alive

A Druid finds them and after Arthur swears their safety, leads them to their camp where they are healed

Arthur watches the camp in wonder and is talked to by a Druid elder

She’s an ancient thing, skin so wrinkled with experience he can’t help but feel like a child in her presence

She is kind and patient

She talks to him of mundane things and he forgets for that moment that she is a Druid, someone raised with magic.

She hands him soup and warms it with magic. He wonders at that because never has he seen magic used for mundane and simple things

That prompts the knights to ask about that magic burst that saved their lives

“Was that magic you guys?”

The druids sit in a long silence before the old Druid lady comes up to them

“It must have been dear Emrys” “Emrys? Whose that?” “Oh my dears, who do you think has been protecting Camelot all these years?”

The druids then explain how Emrys has been protecting Camelot from several years now. They mention a few that they know of (the priestess Morgause being stopped several times) and talk of the many protection spells and wards that surround Camelot.

Arthur is confused and kinda terrified. Why would this Emrys protect Camelot, protect them, when they could be killed for even simple warming spells? What do they gain? Who are they?

The druids speak of Emrys’ power and how it keeps growing everyday.

“He visits sometimes, sometimes to set wards for us, sometimes to learn whatever spells we know, sometimes just for company. He’s a lonely boy, that one. The weight of the world on his shoulders and a horribly kind heart. You are fortunate to have him on your side.”

After dinner they rest and Arthur can’t help but think of Merlin and how he would react. He decides to finally lift the ban on magic.

They get back to Camelot and Arthur begins drafting the laws on magic use before lifting the ban

A few months go by and in that time Arthur notices the little sparks of magic protecting Camelot. He tries to make the laws as quick but as well as he could. He went to the Druids for help on what could be done to make more accurate laws on magic

He asks them on where to find Emrys, to thank him and ask for his help. And perhaps to add him to the court because someone whose been protecting Camelot so fiercely in spite of the dangers should be part of the council.

The Druids can only shake their heads sadly “He can only be found when he wants to be.” and leave it at that

Later Morgana comes back after about Arthur working to lift the band. Their reunion is bitter at first but when Morgana explains why she left they come an understanding with one another

She works together with him [and the roundtable] to lift the ban. When they ask her about Emrys she gives them a funny look.

“You don’t know?” “No, Morgan, we don’t. The Druids only say we’ll find him when he wants to be found”

She scoffs unbelievably “That blasted fool!” And storms out

No one sees her for almost a week before she comes barging back in the council room, dragging a cloaked figure by their cloth( who is clearly trying to remove her grip)

Arthur was angry with worry and demanded to know where she went.

“Where the bloody hell have you been!?” “First of all watch your tone when speaking to me. Second of all, i went ahead and got Emrys since you lot are too incompetent to do so” “…….THATS EMRYS!?”

They argue and bicker some more while Emrys struggles against Morgana’s grip, a misstep here leads to the cloak coming off

Arthur looks and practically swallows his tongue at who he sees.

It’s Merlin

#honestly not the best but I wanted to get the idea out my head #fanfiction #writing #ao3 #Merlin #bbc Merlin #bbc Merlin Arthur pendragon #bbc Merlin Morgana pendragon #bbc Merlin morgana #bbc Merlin Arthur #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #Morgana pendragon #bbc merlin Gwen #guinivere #bbc merlin Lancelot #lancelot du lac

837 notes · View notes

notozthewizard · 11 months

Text

Merlin fantasy creature AU part 3

The poem in the picture is a part of "Giving" by Khalil Gibran

The first time Merlin has to use so much magical energy, he's not ready for the consequences. He used to feel exhausted after using too much at once, that's a fact. But he didn't know the chaotic force would literally rip his human body apart.

The pain doesn't matter though. If he doesn't do anything he'll die here right after Lancelot and then the serpents will invade Camelot. Even if he did survive there would be nothing to come back to. So he braces himself. Ready for any outcome.

He blacks out. Wakes up with Lance tending to his wounds and regrets not dying because it hurts even more.

They have to spend a few days away from Camelot so Merlin's power stabilizes again and he can regenerate his body at least to the point of getting rid of the very visible and unnatural crystals and holes pulsing with yellow energy.

Arthur is kinda annoyed at first. They were supposed to be back ages ago and it wasn't even that hard of a mission. He knows very well how close Merlin and Lancelot are. He's seen them whispering in the castle's corridors to each other countless times. Maybe that was their whole plan, to get a week or two off work.

Few more days pass by and he's pretty sure that's not it. He starts worrying and honestly hoping. Maybe they did run away together. Good for them. At least they're alive. Somewhere. Ugh.

He finally gets some free time and almost decides to go on a search when finally he's informed that Merlin and Lancelot came back. He doesn't think. Just wants to finally see them again. See Merlin again and make sure he's okay.

He's far from it but he's breathing. And that's something. Arthur gets angry at Merlin for neglecting his wounds and takes him to Gaius. He gets a few days off after that.

Part 2

192 notes · View notes

imissthembutitwasntadisaster · 11 months

Note

Sorry sorry one more ask I’m rewatching Merlin a bit pls tell me if you will what you’d have done with Merlin and Morgana plotline I’d like to imagine it play out nicely

First of all I treasure and relish asks I love talking to you never apologize. Second of all. It's been a long long while since I watched it BUT you know what's so weird??? That Merlin didn't tell Morgana about his magic when he found out about his dreams! He told a lot of people frankly, Lancelot worked it out in SECONDS, so why not Morgana, Morgana who's clearly suffering and so totally alone and afraid. So Merlin tells Morgana and she believes him and for a while it helps that they share this secret.

But it isn't enough, because sometimes it just isn't. Uther is still so rabidly against it and Arthur too and the kingdom is so hostile and Merlin's just one boy, so Morgause still manages to win over Morgana even as Merlin pleads for her to stop. He still has to poison her to stop the sleeping spell (a sleeping spell she didn't know about and didn't cast on purpose! Even up until this she was still fairly innocent!!!) and she sees that as a double betrayal - not just Merlin the vague acquaintance, but Merlin her friend, Merlin the only person to share her secret, poisoned her.

So of course, she's furious and she turns against Camelot and fights against it over and over again. She sneaks back into the castle pretending to repent, as she did in the show, but continues to attempt to tear down its foundations. But because Merlin knows she knows about his powers, he doesn't try to hide them from her and so they keep meeting, they keep having individual fights, they keep arguing. And every time, Merlin asks her to come back, to be reconciled, to give up his quest. He begs forgiveness for poisoning her and for not seeing where it was all going wrong. He could kill her so many times in this version but he never does. Morgana's hatred and rage is slowly cooled and replaced with confusion, the confusion of a girl raised by an angry and bitter and unrelenting man faced now with mercy. She can hardly remember what that means anymore.

Let's say Uther starts another witch-hunt and Merlin needs help to get a friend out of Camelot. It wouldn't be too unlikely a storyline. He asks Morgana, because she's the only one he knows, because he gets desperate, because Uther is crueler and more twisted each day. Morgana in this, at least, can work with Merlin but she also plans to use it for her own means, to kill Uther, to take down the knights, and Arthur too. But the thing is that Merlin trusts her, he trusts her to follow the plan they make together to help people and remember that Morgana used to order food for those in need in defiance of Uther's wishes, remember she used to arm herself on behalf of small ravaged villages, remember that at her heart she was kind. So she chooses to go along with Merlin's plan, to let her revenge slip away for a moment, telling herself she can always do it again, and because of her a magic user makes it out of Camelot alive. This is the beginning.

Because, at the same time other dangers, other enemies, other darknesses are rising against the land and Merlin is tired and harried and stretched through. And he hates to do it, but he has to turn, on occasion, to Morgana. He has to fight her still, but somehow the fights become less frequent and the requests for aid more common. Every time Morgana swears she'll most likely kill Arthur in the morning and every time she doesn't. Merlin asks for her help in making small lives better, in lightening loads, Morgana isn't shaking the earth with thunder, she uses her magic now more and more often, she finds, for quiet sly spells to make things easier for others now every day.

But! Morgause is still her family, has still manipulated her so much that she does still choose to take over Camelot. She's much more conflicted about it though, more so when the people of the city refuse to swear loyalty to her, even more when Merlin returns and tries to convince her against it. Morgause attacks him as he speaks and as she does, Morgana chooses to tip over the cup of life herself, ending her own army because, she realises, she would rather lose the crown than see Merlin die (because he, of course, is what she could be, and the good in what she once was).

Either Morgause dies there as in the show, or she becomes a mutual enemy, but Morgana flees as she did before. She still lives in the wilds outside Camelot and a new legend springs up, that if you go a-searching in the woods, you might find a witch who can help you. It's still not an easy path, she's still filled with a lot of hatred, but Merlin helps, he visits a lot. They become very close mostly because they learn to trust each other (it takes a lot of effort from him, a lot of work, but he tries and it pays off). The ending could be dramatic or it could be simple. Perhaps one is in danger and the other realises they can't bear to let them go. Perhaps, instead, Morgana looks at Merlin over the table one day and discovers she doesn't want a life without him. No matter how it goes, they do fall in love.

Camelot falls, of course, as it must, as it always has and always will. Arthur dies and Merlin sends him off and awaits his return. But this time, he's not alone in the waiting.

i just think. They should have been in love. It's about how they are both what the other could have been.

Also I need to emphasise this doesn't really make clear how extremely angsty this would be. So much drama. So much pain. Only joy after a REALLY LONG TIME.

#merlin #ALWAYS happy to talk about this alwaysss

45 notes · View notes

lefresne · 2 years

Text

strange and (occasionally) fun things from the 13th c. Prophesies de Merlin

The Prophesies de Merlin is a thirteenth century prose romance that is meant to run ‘in parallel’ to the Prose Lancelot. It is designed to be read as a ‘companion piece’ of sorts and elaborates on the circumstances surrounding Merlin’s disappearance which are only hinted at in the Prose Lancelot. It also follows the (mis)adventures of the clerks employed to transcribe the deeds and prophecies of Merlin. Here is a list of strange and (occasionally) fun things that happen in it!

· Merlin has enough foresight to know that he will die by the hand of a ‘white serpent’, which he interprets as a virgin maiden. Because of this, he will only teach women magic if they first sleep with him – Merlin is mainly based in a workshop that doubles as a scriptorium and a place of study that is attached to and funded by, of all things, the Archdiocese of Wales, so this makes everyone deeply uncomfortable.

· Merlin is entombed alive by the Lady of the Lake but is cursed to remain conscious while his body literally rots away. He can be heard speaking from inside the tomb and it becomes a bit of a tourist hotspot.

· Merlin has been heard boasting of his sexual conquests at court, and the Lady of the Lake has heard Morgan refer to her as a ‘pute’ – the Lady of the Lake is very angry at this, and this partly motivates Merlin’s entombment.

· Morgan hosts a dinner party for every single Arthurian villain ever.

· Morgan has an oddly intense rivalry with Sebile, another enchantress. One time they both have eyes on the same man and end up spending the night in the same bed bc they want to keep an eye on each other.

· One of the clerks employed at Merlin’s workshop becomes OBSESSED with Merlin following his disappearance and makes a deal with the Devil to meet Merlin’s father (also a devil) but the Devil tricks him and sends him HURTLING THROUGH THE SKY ON A ROCK. He is eventually freed by Perceval’s prayers. ( bookmakers obviously loved this image bc it is extensively illustrated)

· The Devil appears at the Arthurian court disguised as an evil minstrel

· Guinevere repeatedly beats a German count at chess, and he is so outraged by this that he grabs her breast. Lancelot commits war crimes, Arthur is bewildered and confused (btw he is absent for most of the text bc he has moved in with Guinevere’s evil twin)

· A woman breaks into the Welsh workshop to steal the books (BOOK HEIST BOOK HEIST) – she once fell into a magical pot of ink, so her body is ink stained.

· There is knight made entirely out of limbs.

#this is literally off the top of my head bc I love the prophesies they are so fun #one day I will make a post abt the livre d'Arthus and its treatment of sex ed bc it is sooo funny #arthuriana #arthurian legend #oh and for the sake of academic integrity my source is MS Bodmer 116 #mwah <3 peace and love!!!

83 notes · View notes

bitsandbobsofwriting · 2 years

Text

Badass!Merlin Part 3(Final part)

You know that John Mulaney sketch? "You know those days when you're like, This Might As Well Happen?". Yeah. That's Arthur.

Part 1 Part 2

The room is silent for an uncomfortable length of time, but Lancelot is the first to break it as Mordred’s next breath shudders in his chest:

“Merlin,-”

The servant looks up quickly, pulling away from the door as his whole demeanour changes from resigned and quietly angry to attentive and worried. The trust in his eyes is astounding and the knight nods at the younger man seated next to him:

“-Mordred, he's... hurt."

Merlin's face falls into something icy and angry again as he immediately walks to the young knight, kneeling at his side and ignoring everyone else's confounded stares. He lifts a hand to Mordred's pale, sweaty cheek, lifting his head slightly:

"Mor?-"

He turns around to land a piercing, but somehow still trusting, stare on Lancelot, a hard edge to his voice:

"-What's wrong with him?”'

Lancelot nods once again, this time down towards Mordred's wrists, still bound to the chair. Merlin frowns, glancing down at them with a clinical analysis; he lifts Mordred’s hand slowly, tilting his head as he assesses the runes etched into the metal. He only touches it briefly, but he quickly pulls his hand away as he hisses through his teeth. He looks over to Morgana, a desperate gleam in his eye, but she gives him a teary smile and shakes her head. Merlin stands, but doesn't move the hand from Mordred’s cheek as he softly speaks:

"Should've left the bastard alive a little longer.-"

He says it to himself, but everyone hears and recoils slightly. He turns to Lancelot once more, his expression back to being icy:

"-the key?"

This time the knight nods to the middle of the table, and Merlin is quick to jump up on to the surface, frown deepening when Mordred whimpers at his retreating hands. He walks across the table confidently, but hesitates as he crouches down in front of the key, completely ignoring everyone's still shocked stares. He reaches a hand out to it slowly, scowling at it in thought and suspicion. The moment his fingers touch the metal, he hisses and jumps up, turning on the spot and shaking his hand out to the side as he curses under his breath. Morgana breaks the silence this time:

“Merlin?" Her voice is unusually shaky and Merlin offers her a brief, strained smile as he rubs as his now burning red fingertips:

“Cold iron, he's done something to it though. I'll be fine." Arthur chooses then to speak, his voice somehow equal parts confused, demanding, and timid:

"Merlin, what the hell is going on?! I thought cold iron only affected-"

Merlin interrupts him with a casually waved hand and a semi-harsh instruction:

"Hush, I'm thinking."

Arthur is significantly taken aback, his cheeks red (from anger or... something else), but turns his annoyed stare onto Gwaine when he let's out a quiet snort of laughter. He goes to respond anyway, to demand that Merlin cut him free and start explaining, but his words are stopped in his throat when said servant reaches up to his neckerchief, untying the knot at the back. He pulls the fabric down and unfolds it, curling it back around one of his hands as he crouches down again. He doesn't look very happy as he reaches for the key, as if he expects it to still hurt, but Arthur's attention is more focused on the lightening white scars poking out above his tunic.

From what The King can see, they snake up from his chest, seeming to focus on his sternum, and the more he stares, the more he realises the silvery ridges are overlaying a slightly ruddy, bubbling layer of skin that stops just below his collar bones. Arthur glances briefly over Merlin’s shoulder to Morgana, and though... unsurprised, she does have a mournful stare focused on the nape of Merlin’s neck; he wonders what scars are there.

Arthur is pulled from his shocked stupor when Merlin hums victoriously, standing with the key in his wrapped hand without a problem and quickly rushing back towards Mordred, hopping down from the table and crouching in front of him. The younger man seems completely out of it, and Merlin doesn’t hesitate at all before carefully lifting one of his hands by the arm, cautiously avoiding touching the metal with his bare skin. He unlocks the cuff quickly, removing it from the chair as well and flinging it across the room harshly, before moving to the other one, doing the same. The crash of the cuffs against the wall and floor not only makes Mordred jolt slightly, just about managing to open his blurry eyes, but the force of the hit also reminds everyone of Merlin’s anger, very carefully hidden.

The servant once again lifts Mordred’s head with a suddenly soft hand on his cheek, key discarded onto the table, a simultaneously sympathetic and panicking frown on his face:

“Mor? Feeling any better?”

Mordred doesn’t reply, can’t reply, and his eyes slip shut as his breathing remains ragged and shallow. Morgana can’t see the knight’s face, but she can see the way Merlin’s jaw clenches and his frown deepens:

“Why isn’t he... I don’t know, better? Is he going to be ok? What’s wrong with him??”

Merlin’s gaze darts over to her but quickly moves back to the man whose weight is slowly slipping forward into his arms. He pushes the knight back into his seat, eyebrow twitching in concern as he presses his fingers to the pulse point on the other Warlock’s neck. He lets out a harsh exhale and gulps, but doesn’t look away from Mordred as he brushes a hand through his sweaty hair and rubs his bruised wrist:

“No. He’s.... he was in those cuffs for too long. He’s dying.”

Morgana lets out a short, quiet cry. All the knights start clamouring at once, but Gaius and Gwen stay quiet, staring at Merlin with trust and desperation as he wracks his thoughts:

“Merlin, you have to untie Gaius-”

“Can’t we do anything?-”

“Merls, you have to save him-”

Merlin stands and hits his palm against the table, the smack echoing around the room as he snarls out another order:

“Shut up, I’m thinking. Fuck.”

All of their mouths snap shut at once, and Merlin sags again slightly, the anger draining from him as he runs a hand through his hair; he grimaces and brings his hand down, flexing his obviously forgotten about broken wrist. He sighs, glancing at Arthur and making eye contact with the King for the first time since they had confirmed that they’d seen him kill their captor. He mutters, though it sounds almost as if it's to himself and not Arthur:

“Oh, what the hell. You’re smarter than I give you credit for... bloody cold iron... you’d have figured it out anyway.”

He turns back to Mordred, shaking his shoulder roughly until the man blinks awake, his bloodshot eyes unfocused and drooping until Merlin slaps him across the face. He perks up slightly, looking up at Merlin and wincing at the sting in his cheek; Merlin takes his hand, holding it tightly between his own as he closes his eyes and furrows his brows, murmuring:

“Concentrate, Mordred. Take it, take enough that I don’t lose you.”

Mordred struggles weakly to pull away:

“No... no. Em- Merlin... Ar... Arthur...”

Merlin sighs, annoyed, and opens his eyes again, looking directly into Arthur’s eyes as he responds in a harshly monotone voice:

“I’m more than capable of dealing with The King.-”

He doesn’t give Arthur enough time to reply before he looks back to Mordred and takes another deep breath, shutting his eyes as a gold mist floats up around their joined hands. A round of gasps goes around the room, but Arthur just freezes, gulping as he glances between the golden mist, the growing colour in Mordred’s cheeks, and the gold light, so bright and powerful and compelling that it shines through Merlin’s closed eyelids:

“-Just take it.”

Mordred nods distractedly, and the gang watch on with wide eyes; if you’d asked any of them before, they would have said that the gap between revulsion and wonder was wider than the ocean is deep, now... now it seems as thin as a knife’s edge. A knife’s edge that they all balance on with bare-feet.

After a few moments, Mordred’s breathing evens out and the mist dissipates into the air around them. The knight breathes deeply, blinking owlishly as he manages to support his own weight against the back of the chair again, his head tipped back. Merlin stands, obviously a little too quickly as he sways before leaning a hand on the table and squeezes his eyes shut. Lancelot is the first to pipe up from directly behind him:

“Merls? You ok?”

The servant... soldier... sorcerer turns around and gives him a tired smile, still leaning against the table as he answers softly:

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Gave him a little more than I probably should have. He’ll be fine in a couple days, myself, in an hour or two.-”

His expression turns grave and he turns back around, patting Mordred on the shoulder briefly before walking slowly over to the cupboard again:

“-For now, I have a few things to clear up.”

It’s Gwaine, ever the unfazed, who pipes up as he reaches to unlock the door again:

“Who do you reckon he was?”

Merlin doesn’t look back as he picks the body up again effortlessly, though he does glance to the knight briefly when he turns around, kicking the door shut behind him and tilting his mouth in an ever so slight smile at Gwaine’s entirely unbothered attitude:

“That, Sir Gwaine, is what I’m trying to find out.”

He drops the body unceremoniously on the table, but when Gwen flinches away, looking towards the windows and pulling her wrists subconsciously against the ropes, he slides the body in the opposite direction, closer to Elyan, as said knight grimaces and clears his throat before speaking:

“Why didn’t you look earlier, before you... knew we were here?-”

He shuffles in his seat and pulls at his ropes:

“-and I don’t suppose you could untie us, could you? This is... kind of uncomfortable.”

Merlin pauses in his patting down of the body, looking up at Elyan with an inscrutable expression as his hands freeze in the dead man’s pockets:

“Earlier, my priority was finding you lot. Now that I don’t have to do that, this-”

He removes one of his hands and pokes the body harshly in the chest:

“-can move upon my list of things to do. And no.”

Elyan sags slightly in his chair and Gaius raises an eyebrow, but it’s Arthur that answers, regaining a little of his Kingly confidence:

“And why the hell not? I am your King, Merlin, you will not leave me-”

It only takes one harsh, sharp look for Arthur to stop talking, though he answers the question verbally anyway:

“Because I’m tired, and injured, and have shit to do, and I quite frankly do not have the energy to defend myself right now. So bar Mordred, you’re all going to stay tied up until I know I’m not going to have to knock you out to stop you from throttling me.”

Morgana goes to say something, or demand something more likely, but a sharp look from Lancelot stops her in her tracks and she settles in her chair again. From an outside perspective, the others might think she was going to argue, but Lancelot, Gaius, Merlin, and Morgana herself, know that Merlin, by keeping them tied, is trying to preserve their right to say “plausible deniability”.

Arthur looks annoyed at the response, but he also seems to accept that, with Merlin in this mood, he isn’t going to get anywhere by arguing. Percival does not get that impression, and speaks to Merlin softly, as if comforting a child who has woken from a nightmare:

“We won’t hurt you Merlin, m-... magic or no.”

Merlin tenses where he stands, the tightness of his jaw and shoulders look painful, and Percival understands that it may have been stupid to bring up the m-word so soon. The Warlock looks up to him with hard eyes before looking around the table, gaze pausing especially on Leon and and Arthur. His response comes out quiet, slow, chilling:

“I don’t believe you.”

He goes back to searching the body when the silence grows uncomfortable, but it doesn’t last long, Gwaine seeming to have taken it upon himself to make things... funny again:

“Out of curiosity, how often would you say you’re stuffing bodies of would be assassins into random cupboards?”

Merlin pauses and shrugs his lips, thinking shortly before replying:

“Well, not that often, I suppose-”

His eyes go wide and he grimaces as a slight blush rises to his cheeks. He glances up to Arthur but looks away again quickly, clearing his throat:

“-On an unrelated note, Arthur, don’t go into the left cupboard in your antechamber for a couple of... until I say it’s ok.”

Gwaine lets out a short laugh, and even Elyan has a small smile on his face. Gaius rolls his eyes and Lancelot and Percival just stare at him blankly. Gwen looks horrified and Morgana mutters something about incompetence under her breath and Leon stares at him with wide eyes and frozen breath, but it’s Arthur’s blank stare, slight shake of the head, and resigned huff that makes Merlin snort. The King bites his lip before quietly asking:

“Merlin. How long has their been a body in my antechamber?”

Merlin smirks—picking up on the general vibe that no one wants to kill him as of right now—and puts his hands on his hips as he stares The King down:

“In answer to your question, I will ask one of my own. Are you sure you want to know?”

Arthur grimaces and looks away and everyone’s expressions, no matter what they are, grow in intensity:

“No, I don’t suppose I do. Just get rid of it before morning, Merlin.-”

Merlin’s smirk turns softer and he nods, though everyone can see the deeper meaning. The acceptance of Arthur’s acceptance, a thank you for not being an arsehole. He sighs and looks away, glancing down to the body before walking to the side of Gwen’s chair, a dagger moved expertly into his hand. Merlin quickly cuts his fellow servant loose, though can’t look her in the eyes, not until she stands and grabs his shoulders, pulling him around and opening her mouth to say something, before shutting it again and drawing him into a tight hug. He takes a sudden deep breath, shoulders going stiff again as his hands hang at his sides, though it doesn’t take long for him to relax into it; he wraps his arms around her waist and buries his face in her hair, careful to hold the blade away from her back.

He sniffs slightly, but refuses to let the tears flow as he pulls back, giving her a soft smile and handing her one of his knives. They move in opposite directions around the table, cutting each person free carefully. Merlin is quicker, already slicing through Arthur’s ropes as Gwen still works on Elyan’s. Percival stands awkwardly, rubbing his wrists, but everyone jolts when the door slams open for the second time that day.

Arthur only has one arm free and Percival has no weapon, but that doesn’t stop him from raising his fists as the thug’s gaze darts around the room angrily. It lands on his apparent partner, dead on the table, and he screeches before extending an arm out to Gwen. She tries to keep a hold of the dagger but it slips from her grip and flies across the room before she can even register what’s happening. Merlin's attempt at stepping out of the way is too slow, the sorcerer’s anger fuelling him as the blade buries itself with a sickening squelch deep into his shoulder. The force spins him around as he hisses, but he’s quick to recover, turning back and thrusting his own arm out, eyes turning golden as the man flies back into the wall behind him.

The room goes quiet again, the man’s breathing ragged as he tries and fails to stand, blood from the wound on the back of his head splattered against the stonework. Merlin looks down to the hilt of the dagger, grimacing slightly as he huffs—more out of annoyance than anything—but before he can do anything else, Arthur unfreezes, reaching with his free hand to snatch the dagger from the servant’s hand and cutting his other arm free. He tosses the dagger to the table as he stands, rushing to be in front of Merlin as he hovers a hand over the embedded weapon:

“Fuck, uh.... fuck. What do we... is it... will you be ok?? Merlin tell me what to do. Fuck you should sit down or something, Gods.-”

Percival and Gwen move quickly to crowd him as well, and even Mordred, still dazed as he is, tries to stand up with a pained grimace on his face. The knight quickly slumps back into his seat, and Merlin waves the others away from him, annoyed as he grumbles:

“It’s my shoulder, Arthur, I’ll be fine. Do me a favour and cuff him, I want him alive.”

Arthur looks at him incredulously, but lets him go as the Warlock grabs his discarded dagger, handing it to Percival and muttering a request for him to untie everyone else before he wanders, a little less purposefully, back towards the cupboard again. He didn’t bother locking it before, so he’s in and out quickly, carrying with him a little bag that he sets on the table, next to the body. Arthur picks up a set of discarded cuffs, locking the sorcerer’s wrists in behind him as Percival cuts everyone else loose and Merlin unpacks what is now evidently a small medical kit.

The Warlock rips his tunic away from the wound slightly, and Arthur stares on in well-hidden horror, certain that the blood would be covering even more scarring from various other... adventures. Merlin carefully, struggling slowly due to the limited movement in one of his arms and the pain in the opposite wrist, threads a needle before setting it down softly on the table, next bringing out a vial of some sort of cleaning fluid and a cloth. No one, not even Gaius, moves a muscle as Merlin every so calmly pulls the blade from his own flesh, barely even blinking at it slides out. He drops it onto the table with a clatter, and it’s Leon, ever the anxious caretaker of his friends, that mutters a horrified:

“What the fuck, Merlin?”

His head jolts up, but the movement jars his shoulder and he shuts his eyes, letting a harsh breath out through his nose before looking down again and grabbing the cloth and vial. He moves even more carefully now the blade isn’t stopping the wound from bleeding, the stain on his shirt slowly growing as he douses the cloth in the strong smelling chemical.

Everyone winces in anticipation as Merlin hovers the cloth over the wound, taking a deep breath and hesitating for only a second before he presses down harshly. He hisses through his teeth, punching the table’s surface, thankfully not hard enough to break bones but definitely hard enough for the metal plates of his gauntlet to bruise his skin, as he throws his head back, staring at the ceiling with watering eyes. It’s then that Gaius hurries to walk around the table, muttering to himself about silly boys not asking for help, but Merlin flinches away from his reaching hands, speaking through clenched teeth:

“I can manage. Go check on Mordred.”

Gaius huffs, but when Merlin doesn’t even look at his raised eyebrow, he gives up and walks over to the slumped knight, tilting his head this way and that and quietly answering his slurred questions about everyone else’s well-being. Arthur lets out a disbelieving laugh at Merlin’s stubbornness and goes to argue, but Lancelot puts a soft hand on his shoulder, shaking his head when The King looks at him. Arthur stares at the knight incredulously, but a knowing, and slightly betrayed look crosses his face as he realises that Lancelot... already knew. At least part of it.

The next time he turns back to Merlin, it’s because Gwaine is hissing through his teeth and asking, with a pale face:

“Are you sure you don’t want a hand, Merls?”

Arthur looks just in time to see Merlin shaking his head and dipping the threaded needle into his own skin for the first stitch. The King flinches slightly, but, like everyone else, can’t tear his eyes away as Merlin efficiently stitches his own stab wound, barely even blinking the entire time. The Warlock looks a little pale, though that’s to be expected with the slight drain on his magic and the blood loss, but is otherwise on good form; he finishes up quickly, tying off the last stitch just as Gaius walks back over.

Not even Merlin’s glaring and shuffling away will stop the man from picking up an unused cloth and cleaning the wound again; the Warlock lets the older man do what he pleases, knowing his physician’s side wouldn’t let him rest until he had checked Merlin over. It’s when Gaius moves to check on the cut on his arm and the bruises around his wrist that Merlin starts huffing impatiently again. It’s Morgana who manages to glare him into submission though, and her quiet but harsh words certainly go a long way in helping as well:

“Merlin, let him help, otherwise I shall have Percival hold you down.”

It’s when he gets to the until-now-forgotten cut on the back of his leg, under the careful watch of everyone else, that Merlin jumps forward and turns around, backing himself against the table with everyone surrounding him. The other injuries are easily seen, but the blood doesn’t really show through on the dark trousers and the damage to the fabric is barely noticeable due to the oversized nature of the clothing. His eyes are wide and fearful as he stares at Gaius, his gaze darting around to everyone and his hands gripping the edge of the table tightly:

“How did you know about that one?”

Gaius stands with a mournful frown on his face, though he doesn’t reach out to touch his nephew like he so desperately wants, he actually takes a short step back. Though it’s Lancelot that answers, his voice soft:

“We... Merlin we saw. He had us watching the whole thing, from when you first left the city this morning.”

Merlin’s eyes go impossibly wider, and what little blood was left colouring his cheeks drains from his face, though his shock quickly turns to anger. His brows furrow, his teeth clench, and if it weren’t for the badly timed moaning of the still struggling sorcerer on the other side of the room, the others would have heard the slight growl that rumbles in his throat.

At said moan of pain, Merlin pushes away from the table, not-so-gently shouldering his way through the small crowd and making his furious way over to the injured man. He pulls him up by the collar, like he had to the other attacker, grunting in pain at the way the man’s weight aggravates his wrist and shoulder, though it doesn’t stop him. The dazed man is dragged across the room and landed harshly on the table, his hands cuffed and crushed painfully under his own bodyweight; he’s so unfocused—the head wound really is serious—that he can do nothing to stop Merlin from ripping his tunic up and touching the point of his shortest blade (one that the others haven’t seen yet) to the dip between his lowest two ribs on the right side of his chest. Merlin is quick to land an open handed slap to his face to draw at least a little of his attention before he snarls out an angry:

“You’re going to tell me exactly what I want to know, or I swear to whatever God you believe in that I will break you, and heal you, and break you again, over and over until I get what I need.-”

The man whimpers slightly, the whimper turning into a gasp when the blade is pushed into his flesh. It’s tiny, not long enough to even puncture his lung, but Merlin deliberately slides it along his ribs; half the gang gape at Merlin’s out of character (or out of character as far as they’re concerned) cruelty, whilst the other half gag and turn around at the audible scraping of metal against bone. Merlin doesn’t even give the man time to answer, harshly turning him over on the table—so he lies on his stomach—before grabbing a fistful of hair and yanking upwards, forcing him to stare at the glassy-eyed face of his dead friend:

“-Your partner was a coward who died screaming, I wonder if you’ll die with more dignity than him? Tell me what I want to know.-”

Arthur stares open mouthed at Merlin, frozen where he stands as his eyes can focus on nothing but the stranger stood in front of him, using Merlin’s body and voice.

The man whimpers again, struggling to nod but nodding nonetheless; Merlin turns him back over again and stares down at him with slight pity, suddenly speaking in the soft healer’s voice he uses when treating children:

“-Are you working with anyone else, or is it just the two of you?-”

He shakes his head at the second part of the question and the others see the flicker of pleased curiosity in Merlin’s eyes; he’s getting somewhere:

“-Ok, thank you. How many more? One? More?”

He nods again, but then shakes his head, and Merlin smiles at him encouragingly as he opens his mouth to speak:

“One... One an’... an’ the guy tha’... hi-... hired us.”

Merlin nods, loosening the hold he’d had on his throat and removing the dagger from his chest, hovering a healing hand over the wound as his eyes flash golden. He’s vaguely aware of Lancelot, Morgana, and Gaius tensing out the corner of his eye; everyone else gives out quiet gasps which he ignores. They’d all known, it’s just the shock now of seeing it so casually (well... it’s not exactly a casual situation, at least it isn’t for them. Arthur notes with a growing something that Merlin seems entirely accustomed to... this) that catches them off guard:

“Where is your friend, and what’s he called?”

The man has to think for a while, but Merlin is patient and allows him a few moments before he raises an eyebrow and taps his cheek slightly

“Oh, uh... he’s... tavern. Som’in ‘bout... ‘bout the sunrise? Got rooms, name’s Deck-... Deckenna.”

Merlin nods but everyone in the room understands that he must mean The Rising Sun, in the lower town. The Warlock’s healing hand moves up to cradle the back of the man’s head; his eyes flash golden again and though the injury doesn’t heal completely—Merlin isn’t that good at healing, and he needs to conserve energy—the man’s eyes definitely clear. Merlin gives him another soft smile before asking his next question, the most important question:

“And who hired you?”

The man struggles, but Merlin’s hand, still on the back of his head, grabs another fistful of hair and holds it tightly; that, and the flash of anger that passes over his face, has the man freezing again, and answering quickly:

“Don’t know! Alright! We got sent a messenger bird with a letter whilst we was hiding out in some shithole near the border! No signature or name or nothing! But Mallory got other ideas and wanted to do what he wanted to do, blackmail you or something. He deliberately hired a bunch of amateurs to be at the fort so he could see why you were so special an’ then draw you back ‘ere! We warned ‘im, we did, but nothing would stop him. That’s way I came in all rushed, thought something ‘ad happened!”

Merlin quirks an eyebrow, his slightly amused gaze jumping up to the body on the opposite side of the table before going back down to the cowering man below him:

“And if blackmail wasn’t what was meant to happen, what was the original plan?”

The man’s breath deepens and his eyes dart about; Merlin curses his ill-timing, deciding he should’ve left the head wound just a little longer as he pulls the man’s hair again, tilting his head in question:

“Uh... he wanted us to capture you back at the fort, get you all alone and away from your knight-y friends. Then whoever hired us was meant to meet us there in the morning. I don’t know what he wanted with ya’, I swears it! I ain’t even that good at magic, I only know a few tricks!-”

Merlin can tell he’s getting desperate, twitchy, he’ll try something soon, and then Merlin will have to knock him out at the least, kill him at the worst; he needs to get his answers before then. He raises an eyebrow and tugs the hair harder, pushing the previous dagger close to his chest again:

“-Wait wait!! He wanted you alive, and as uninjured as possible! I think he wanted to... to take you away or something! Like some... prize, or... or... or a pet or something!”

Merlin scowls, leaning back slightly as he stares out of the window thoughtfully; it’s late in the night, but he still has several hours before the sun rises. That should be more than enough time for him to recover his energy, head down to the tavern to deal with the last of the sorcerers, and get back to the fort to set up some sort of trap before the mercenaries’ mysterious benefactor shows up. That’s if the others don’t get in his-

“Merlin?-”

His head jolts to the side, his gaze meeting Gwen’s slightly fearful, though mostly curious eyes:

“-What are you thinking?”

Merlin gives her a soft smile before looking to The King, nodding down at the trembling, bloody man still being held under his harsh grip. There’s a question in his eyes, and though Arthur isn’t quite sure what the power dynamics are at the moment, he answers regardless, as if nothing were wrong:

“Alive, preferably.-”

Merlin hesitates, the annoyance clear in the slight down-turn of his mouth, but he nods, releasing he man and letting him slip to the floor in a pile of pathetic whimpers and teary thank-yous; he’s clearly not all that physically... gifted, and with the cold iron cuffs on it’s not as if he can do any magic. Satisfied that Merlin was somewhat back in his control, not that Arthur is fond of thinking such thoughts about people he cares about, he continues, his voice starting off unsure:

“-We are going to talk about the... magic, later. Right now, we need to figure out who is so desperate to have you, and how they knew about your magic when I didn’t.”

He ends it with a raised eyebrow, which Merlin momentarily copies before scowling down at the almost unconscious man at his feet, muttering to himself:

“Now there’s a question.-”

He looks up at the others again, half meek and hesitant, half dominating and confident... somehow:

“-You lot stay... here, safe. I’ll go... deal with this, and we can talk when I get back. If they were expecting him in the morning, I’ll be home by mid-afternoon I’d imagine. As long as it turns out whoever this guy is wasn’t hired by someone else as well.”

Arthur crosses his arms and nods at Gwaine to go stand in front of the door; the Warlock sags, rubbing a tired hand over his even more tired eyes before speaking softly:

“I promise I’ll tell you the truth Arthur, but we really don’t have time for this, I need to-”

“What you need to do, Merlin, is tell me exactly how long you’ve been sneaking around torturing people, killing people, to keep me safe. Because this clearly isn’t the first time this has happened. After that, you’re going to let Gaius check you over, properly, and then, we will all go deal with this together, whilst Gaius, Guinevere, and Morgana,-”

He looks to his sister with an annoyed scowl:

“-Who is definitely involved in this, so don’t even try to deny it, I’m not that stupid,-”

Next he glances to Lancelot:

“-And you, by the way,-”

He looks back to Merlin, the scowl softening just slightly:

“-stay behind to look after Mordred. And the... Kingdom, I suppose.”

Merlin raises a slightly disbelieving eyebrow:

“First off, I would hardly say I tortured anyone, I just smacked them around a little bit. If that’s what you call torture, I take back my promise to tell you the entire truth because I’ve definitely done... so much worse than this. And second off, no. You will all stay here, because this is dangerous and I really don’t have the energy to be looking after all of you as well as myself as well as managing to actually get things done.”

Arthur huffs, on the verge of anger:

“We’re more than capable of looking after ourselves, we are knights of-”

Merlin rolls his eyes and paces a few steps to the side, clenching his jaw in an effort to keep his cruel tone to himself:

“And here I was, thinking that all of you had managed to be subdued without any hassle by a sorcerer who was mid-range at best. Whoever hired these guys is powerful, and they’re after me. I’m not going to allow the King of Camelot to put himself in danger just because you feel left out. You, Arthur, know nothing of the world I move in, the shadows I live in, and I plan on keeping it that way.-”

He turns to Gwaine, still semi-guarding the door:

“-Move. Or I'll move you.”

Gwaine grimaces, glancing between Arthur and Merlin a few times before he steps out of the way, looking back to the King guiltily:

“Sorry Princess, as of right now, I’m more scared of Merls chopping my balls off than I am of you giving me a hard time in training.”

Merlin snorts out a quiet laugh and shakes his head, walking forward but pausing in the doorway as he looks back:

“I would never hurt you, Gwaine, any of you.-”

He smirks and tilts his head in amusement:

“-I would’ve just chopped bits of your hair off and stepped over you whilst you collapsed to the floor screaming.-”

The others chuckle slightly, but Arthur stares at Merlin with an inscrutable (slightly annoyed, slightly proud, slightly guilty, slightly... uh... intrigued) expression and Gwaine lifts a protective hand to his hair as he jokingly gasps. Merlin shakes his head, going to continue, but is interrupted by Arthur before he can say anything further. The King’s voice is strong and commanding, despite the slight waiver:

“No. I am your King, Merlin. Magic or no, killing or no, you do not decide which parts of my own safety I am privy to. If this gets done, we do it together or not at all. You say you live in the shadows, but apparently so do I, they’re just shaped slightly differently, and that is unacceptable. You’ll claim that all of this is out of loyalty; loyalty to me? Or loyalty to your own secrecy? You’ve spent all this time protecting me from enemies I didn’t even know I had, I think it’s time I returned the favour.”

Merlin stares at The King with a wide-eyed shock, gulping as Elyan lands a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, saying with a smile:

“All of us.”

As he looks around the room, Merlin sees nothing but hope and opportunity; hope from his friends, that they might be invited into his life, properly, and opportunity for him to not be so alone anymore, opportunity for him to tone down the violence, like he’d always wanted to. He thinks perhaps he ought to thank the man behind all of this when they finally meet. He lets out a quiet sigh, forcing a faux annoyance into his tone as he shakes his head and holds the door open, gesturing everyone else to go first:

“Fine, I... fine. Come on then, lets get Mordred up to the Physician’s chambers and then see what’s going on at the tavern. But if any of you get injured or killed, I am not taking responsibility.”

Leon and Lancelot sling their arms around Mordred’s waist, hoisting him up onto his feet and towards the door with wide grins on their faces. Arthur is the last to leave the room, pausing by Merlin with a blush on his face and a clammy hand on the Warlock’s shoulder, avoiding eye contact as he quietly speaks:

“You’ll have to... uh... teach me some of... that, at some point. Can’t have people thinking my manservant is a better warrior than me.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow and smirks slightly, in response to which Arthur clears his throat and briskly walks away, following the others down the corridor. The Warlock hears Arthur’s instructions to the closest guard: “Dispose of the body and put the other in the dungeon.”, though he doesn’t hear whatever it is Gwaine whispers to the King. It’s Arthur’s response, red-faced and rushed: “Shut the fuck up, Gwaine, or I swear to God.” that has Merlin chuckle quietly to himself. He doesn’t push it when Arthur looks back to him almost fearfully, deciding that perhaps that was a conversation that needed to be forced when there wasn’t something so important to deal with. Or so many other people around.

THE END!!!

Ok so I’m not as happy with the ending as I’d like to be, but I really had no idea what else to do with it. Maybe I’ll come back and tweak it at some point, or write a “six months later” kinda deal, but as of right now, this is finished!!

I hope y’all enjoyed it!! :D

624 notes · View notes

percydarling · 3 years

Text

After Percy apparates the Weasley family stand there trying to process the new information.

Percy had a wife who was a pregnant and they're both dead.

George feels like such an arse for blaming Percy. He doesn't know how to react, he doesn't know what to do or say or anything so he just stands there trying to think of something.

He's been so selfish, thinking only about himself not caring about others feelings and now he had a what, a nephew? No he doesn't because he's dead.

Dead.

He hates that word, he hates everything associated with that word. He hates it, hates it, hates it.

George tries to take a deep breath and closes his eyes, he cannot deal with his family right now so he does a Percy and disappears in his(and Fred's) room.

Molly needs to sit down, she really needs to sit down. Her head is throbbing and her heart aching for the dead. She remembers Penelope Clearwater. How can she not?

The 16 yr old Percy had spoken so fondly of his girlfriend then about how he thinks he's in love with her and so worried about letting her down. And now considering the fact that she's now his wife, Molly understands how much he had cherished her.

To think that that sweet girl is now dead doesnt sit right with Molly. It doesn't seem fair.

Percy's son is dead. Her grandson is dead.

Molly lost her son, but she has people around her to help her through the grief but Percy? Percy had noone to help him and that makes her heart ache.

Molly thinks about the grandson she could have had. She thinks about how he would have had Percy's features.

Molly weeps for her daughter-in-law, for her first grandson, but more importantly she weeps for Percy who had to go through all that alone.

Arthur can't comprehend the information. He can't picture it. He doesn't know who Penelope Clearwater, he wish he did. She sounds like a lovely girl.

Sounded, he corrects himself.

Arthur wonders if Penelope was still alive, would Percy and him still be separated, still be fighting? He wonders whether Percy would have come to him for advice on being a father. Arthur wonders about the what ifs but he also knows he has to focus on the now.

He's lost a son, so has Percy. And maybe they can repair their relationship and get over their grief together.

Arthur doesn't cry, he has to be strong for his family but when Percy tells him he was going to name him Lance as a nod to Lancelot, he locks himself in the bathroom and cries softly for the grandson he never had.

Bill is worried, not for Percy but for Fleur and that sounds so selfish but he can't help think about his child. He's pacing around the house, his scars itching and his mind running.

He was supposed to be the elder brother, the one who takes care of them and Percy having to go through that alone, it's a torture. Bill hates himself. He should have done something, said something but nothing. He did nothing.

He's still thinking about it when he feels her hand on his and Fleur just gives him this reassuring smile which relaxes him immediately.

Fleur won't be like Percy's wife. She won't die.

Fleur holds her husband's hand and thinks about her brother-in-law, the one who is different drom others. In some way she feels that they have a bond of being outsiders.

She thinks about the boy she met at the tournament, the look of fear same as hers when she couldn't save Gabrielle. The way he waded into the water towards his brother, all dignity forgotten.

Fleur remembers the boy who was scared for his brother. In a way she understands why Percy left. The Weasley family might look perfect from the outside but she was mistreated as well by her mother-in-law, something that she hasn't yet apologised for.

Losing a child is the worst thing imaginable. Fleur doesn't have a child, but she does have a little sister, who she cared for like a mother, so she understands.

Fleur looks at her stomach thinking about her child, she wishes that it doesn't end up as Percy's. She wishes desperately that she lives and so does she.

Charlie sits on the grass outside and wonders. He never really understood love. Oh sure he understood that his parents and siblings and friends loved him and he loved them back too,but romance? Not his department. He'd rather be with his dragons.

But Charlie does know that mother dragons get extremely depressed when their young die at an early age. It is absolutely awful, they wail and refuse to eat and would rather die with their young than live. Even months later you would see them with their dead young.

And if Percy had managed to go through that absolute hell and not drink himself to a coma, Charlie was proud of him. He really was. On the other hand he was aware that his nephew was dead.

Charlie sits next to Bill and crys softly on his shoulder. Bill's hand on his hair the only comfort.

Ron does what he does best, he tells Harry and Hermione about it because they're his family too and he needs to know how to react.

Hermione is devastated, she knew Penelope at Hogwarts and hearing about her death is a shock. Hermione leaves to be alone and neither Ron nor Harry object. They both understand. Ron felt the same when he heard that Lavendar died.

Harry asks Ron,"Where's Percy?"

Ron shrugs and tells him," He just apparated away."

Harry says he'll find him for Ron and gives him a weak smile and apparates away. Ron thinks he should not have told Harry about this because he knows Harry would think that it's his fault and -

Ron breathes. He does not cry. He should. But the tears won't fall.

What's wrong with him? His brother's fiance is dead, his nephew is dead and he can't even cry for them. It's pathetic.

Maybe he does have an emotional range of a teaspoon.

Ron feels horrible about not feeling horrible. But with so many deaths, he's just tired. He wants to feel good for once and then his brother says this and....

He's a horrible person.

Ron sits in his room of orange and wonders when he'll feel blue.

Ginny doesn't stay with her family, instead she takes her broom and soars into the sky, for fresh air.

The winds in her hair as she maneuvers her broom around trees and going further away from the Burrow so she can escape the madness.

But Penelope Clearwater's face doesn't escape her mind.

And for a minute, Ginny can't breathe..

She flies and lands on the ground, full of life as she glances at the Lovegood cottage on top of the hill.

Luna should know about this. She knew Penelope.

Ginny knew her too.

An 11 year old Ginny had walked in on Percy and her kissing. And it was intense and embarrasing.

No younger sibling should ever see that again.

That same 11 year old Ginny had threatened Penelope to not break Percy's heart and she hadn't.

Her heart died instead.

Ginny is angry at Percy for not telling her, she is angry at herself for not knowing and that anger turns into tears as she realises she's upset.

Penelope was nice to her after the whole first year incident. She even helped her study once. It's just not fair.

Ginny should be used to losing people by now but she's not. Everytime she hears someone is dead, her heart constricts and she realised that the ending of war is not an end to anything.

There is no "happily ever after"

She doesn't even think about the baby. She can't even think of Teddy being an orphan, how can she think about this baby's death?

However it's not just any baby, it's her nephew. She could have been an aunt and there were so many things she could do and-

He's dead, just like his mother who Ginny never had to chance to know about either.

For once, Ginny wishes she could be young again, maybe a toddler or a child, one who still was naive about the world and did not know the aftereffects of the war.

But she's not.

She's old enough to know that her brother needs her right now.

She has to tell Luna about it too. As she glances back at the blue cottage, she thinks to herself, 'not today'.

With determination on her face and sorrow in her heart, Ginny makes her way back to the Burrow.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

#percy weasley #weasley fanfiction #percy weasley deserves better #penelope clearwater

45 notes · View notes

deepend-swimmer · 3 years

Text

Arthur's mother sigil and his love for Merlin

this is the elaboration I promised on my last merthur post (the 'arthur realised he loved merlin unconditionally on the last episode' one) if asked and since @camelotsheart asked I did it :) it's quite big but bare it with me:

As I see, Arthur associates everything that has to do with his duty as prince with Uther. Maybe because Uther loved Ygraine so much and still gave her life for an heir, he only truly ever seen Arthur as the future king, at least more than his actual son. However, Ygraine had Arthur because she wanted a son and not because she wanted a prince, or at least that's what Arthur could have seen as. He never got to actually meet her, but maybe in his eyes, the fact that she died for him and still loved him regardless showed that love didn't have to be conditioned to his duty. So, for Arthur, his mother kind of represented everything he could have been and already is outside of a prince.

And Arthur's affection to Merlin is, for most part, seen outside his duty. "I know I’m a prince, so we can’t be friends, but if I wasn’t a prince..." well excuse me sir, I've seen you be friends for at least a season, 8 episodes ago you were calling him "a true friend". Arthur, for so long, sees that his relationship with Merlin would be different if they weren't on their respective positions, but then he keeps contradicting himself on either they are friends or not (through both actions and words). Yet, when he express to Gwen the wish he sometimes has of leaving Camelot and his duty, have a little farm somewhere no one knows him, it's not surprising that he would bring Merlin, because Merlin is still a defining feature of his life had he not been a prince.

To counterpart this, Arthur's love to Gwen is tied with his position as a prince and Uther. Their relationship starts with Arthur trying to stepdown from his place as prince, he loves Guinevere in defiance to Uther, he thinks of her as his future queen, even when he tries to give up his love for her it's so that the people of Camelot don't see him as weak. The one time he considers his love for her outside of being Prince and King Arthur is when he tells Morgana he would runaway with Gwen now, to then, one day, return back to their rightful place as king and queen of Camelot. If that wasn't enough, Gwen's love for Arthur overcoming her love for Lancelot also comes from his position as prince, when he shows himself to be a more merciful royal and more in touch if his people than Uther. Even one of the ways Gwen demonstrates her devotion and love to Arthur is by taking care of Uther after Morgana's betrayal.

I think everything starts to change in The Coming of Arthur, the first time that he isn't the heir of Camelot. And throughout it all, Merlin is the one beside him, not wavering his devotion or leaving his side for once, sort of proving to Arthur what he had always thought: his and Merlin's relationship isn't conditioned by his position as prince, even if, ultimately, they are master and servant.

Then, season 4 happened. As far as I can see, Arthur realises he is in love with Merlin when he is sure he is going to lose him. It's probably one of the first times since they've met that Arthur needs to let Merlin go and for what? His duty to Camelot and his people. Merlin is literally dying and Arthur wants to take him back to Camelot himself, but he needs to stay in order to insure that no one else from his kingdom dies by the hands of the Dorocha. And even in his dying moments, Merlin begs Arthur to stay by his side. When he comes back alive, Arthur can't even say anything, he needs some full seconds to compose himself. From that point and on, Arthur openly refers to Merlin as his best/only friend. If the longing, lovingly stares weren't enough to prove that at that point Arthur already knew he loved Merlin, we have the fully scripted, filmed and edited deleted scene: Arthur gives his mother's sigil to Merlin.

I think it says a lot that it was planned for his mother's sigil to go to Merlin and the Pendragon's seal to Guinevere. Merlin getting one of the only things Arthur has of his mother, the one person he sees as proof that love for him doesn't need to be conditioned to him being the Once and Future King of Camelot, when since the very beginning of the series Merlin destiny was to fulfill Arthur's as that king. And I see it as Arthur best effort to acknowledge all that and let Merlin know that he loves him just as much as he loved her. On the other side, Gwen getting the seal shows once again how much their love, despite its true nature, is really tied with Arthur's position and he passes down that condition of reigning Camelot to Guinevere, because he knows she will fulfill it with her whole heart just as he had always seen it.

So when in the last episode, he finds out that Merlin is what his father has battled his whole life, something that Arthur had time and time again decided to keep it outlawed for the sake of Camelot and that Merlin had supported it all those times, putting Arthur's and Camelot's sake over his own, he is understandably taken back. Merlin put his duty to Arthur above everything, through years and years and all Arthur had ever wanted was to give off his own to spend his life with him. But now, he already gave the royal seal to Gwen, Arthur is no longer the sovereign to Camelot and he is there with Merlin, in a place no one knows him, and he doesn't feel the weight of Albion upon his shoulder and Merlin still loves and cares for him despite his initial rejection and he is dying. He has everything he has ever secretly wished for but with the unfortunate detail that he is dying, despite how much Merlin wants to convince himself he can save him.

It takes time for Arthur to forgive Merlin's betrayal, not because he has magic but rather because he didn't trust Arthur enough to not need to lie for all this years when Arthur trusted him far above anyone else. He ultimately forgives Merlin because he can feel himself succumbing quicker and quicker with each second and he doesn't want to die with Merlin thinking he is angry at him or worst, that he hates him. Then, Merlin goes all the way and make the plow fields speech and Arthur thinks he could break right there, the devotion overflowing Merlin's being with every word acting as a switch inside his mind: there is not one bit of Arthur that doesn't love every single bit of Merlin and nothing could ever change that.

#i didn't even realise camelotsheart had the sigil as their icon lmao what a coincidence #it's a long analysis guys basically the only thing i did today #i wrote this instead of working on my merthur fic lmao #merthur #merlin bbc #merlin #arthur pendragon #it also has arwen bc i think they loved each other even if gwen would always love lancelot and arthur loved merlin too #uther pendragon #ygraine pendragon #guinevere pendragon #character analysis #deaif #dave writes

226 notes · View notes

panharmonium · 3 years

Photo

merlin in 1.11 (part 1/?)

Okay. I’ve said this in meta before, but now that I’ve got a visual aid, I want to make this absolutely clear - this episode canonically takes place immediately after 1.10.

I’m not saying this in the sense of “these episodes come one after the other in season 1” - I mean that in the actual timeline of the show, 1.11 takes place immediately after 1.10. Both episodes take place during the harvest, which is roughly confined to the month of August. And the fact that Camelot is only just getting started with their work in 1.11 (as evidenced by their near-empty grain stores) while Ealdor’s harvest has obviously already begun in 1.10 (otherwise there would have been nothing for Kanen to steal) means that we’re not seeing opposite ends of the month - the harvest starts at the same basic time for everyone, with perhaps a delay in case of poor weather (or magical blight, in Camelot’s case).

1.10 and 1.11 take place directly back-to-back. At the time of the scene above, Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana have been back in Camelot for days. Maybe a week, if Camelot was having really crappy weather while the four of them were in Ealdor, but that’s about as much wiggle room as there is.

I think it’s important to recognize this fact, if we’re going to fully understand everything that’s happening in this episode. Merlin’s simmering frustration throughout 1.11 is about more than just the death of the unicorn/Arthur’s refusal to accept responsibility for the curse. There is more of an explanation for why Merlin’s patience is so low, for why he’s being snappier and less willing to respond to teasing/harassment with his usual playful equanimity. There is more of a reason for why he’s getting lost and distracted staring out of windows.

Merlin has been back in Camelot for mere days. He’s a mess.

He’s a guilt-ridden, grieving disaster. He’s more miserable than he’s ever been in his life. He’s using up every ounce of his energy just pretending to be semi-functional, and he’s doing it all in secret, because the situation surrounding him is, to put it bluntly, what we see above:

You cannot trust a single word a sorcerer says. You’d do well to remember that.

The audacity. After what just happened. Look at Merlin’s face.

But of course Merlin can’t respond. He has to swallow it down. He has to let Arthur ride roughshod over how much he is hurting; Arthur, who is alive, Arthur, who isn’t even grateful for that fact, Arthur, who received a gift he wasn’t owed and who doesn’t care that it cost half of Merlin’s world.

There are so many places in this episode where Merlin is angry or snappy or giving Arthur death glares in situations where he always would have laughed things off, in an earlier episode. He talks back when Arthur refuses to see sense, and not in their fun, bantering way - his tone is sharp, frustrated. He tries to go back to hiding in his window nook and is audibly, visibly irritated when Arthur calls him over to look at the nibbled boot. When Arthur keeps insulting Merlin about not catching the rat that did the nibbling, Merlin uses magic to kill it and feeds it to Arthur for supper. He isn’t interested in playing, not in this episode. He has no energy for putting up with Arthur’s nonsense. His mind is already operating at 100% capacity just trying to hold himself together and hide his grief from everyone else, and he has no room for anything else.

Merlin is in tremendous amounts of pain here. I know people don’t think that there are repercussions to Will’s death, but I’ve never really felt that to be the case. It’s an event that isn’t addressed as directly as we see with Freya or Balinor or Lancelot, definitely - there’s not even an indication that Merlin ever tells Gaius what happened, and while that obviously doesn’t mean he couldn’t have done it offscreen somewhere, I honestly think it’s completely plausible that Merlin never talked about this to anyone. I think there are legitimate reasons why we never hear Merlin mention it again. I think the guilt he feels about this is so complicated and overwhelming that it’s hard for him to even think about it in his own head, never mind discuss it with someone else. I think he locks it away as deep as he can, because it hurts him so much. And I think it’s impossible for Merlin to explain Will to anyone, anyway - what Will did for him has to stay concealed, and the real significance of their friendship can’t be disclosed, not while Merlin’s magic is still a secret. No one is ever going to be able to understand.

But that doesn’t mean the repercussions aren’t still there. We can see the change that comes over Merlin in the last quarter of S1. The attitude shift is palpable. The timeline for 1.11, in particular, is clear. Merlin’s reaction to Arthur’s trademark b.s. (see above gifs as one example) is visible. Merlin doesn’t have to name his pain for us to understand that it’s there.

And understanding that it’s there is INTEGRAL to understanding what’s happening in this episode, because this pain is precisely why Merlin is so desperate that Arthur be proven worthy of all the faith Merlin has previously placed in him. Merlin’s faith in the destiny he’s supposed to fulfill for Arthur’s sake is hanging by a thread here. He’s trying to keep himself convinced of the value of his mission, because that’s the only way he can keep going, but doing so is harder than it ever has been before. He is hurting so much. His only friend in the world is dead. What happened in the previous episode, and how Arthur behaved at the end of it - as well as the way Arthur continues to behave now, in relation to both Anhora/the unicorn and Merlin himself - has made it hard for Merlin to answer the question “just what about Arthur makes all this misery worth it?” There’s no way Merlin can reconcile his previous idealized image of Arthur with what Arthur has shown himself to actually be.

And I said it more eloquently in this piece, but ultimately, Anhora’s test isn’t just necessary to restore the universe’s faith in Arthur’s worthiness after the unicorn’s slaughter. It is desperately necessary to restore Merlin’s faith in Arthur, to give Merlin a sliver of hope that yes, there is in fact a reason for him to stick this out a little longer; yes, Arthur does in fact have something truly worthy in him, despite how he’s been treating Merlin lately; yes, this is all going to make a difference for the world in the end. Because when Merlin sees Arthur continuing to blame sorcery for all his problems, and doing everything he can to avoid confronting personal responsibility, all Merlin can hear is his own foolish voice telling Will “I trust Arthur with my life” just days before Will dies protecting Merlin from the very object of Merlin’s misplaced faith - from a man who rewards Will’s sacrifice with a cold “You cannot trust a single word a sorcerer says” - and all Merlin can remember is how Will knew all along that trusting Arthur was a mistake.

#i really cannot stress it enough - the depth of merlin's distress in this episode cannot be calculated #he keeps it so locked down #but there are places where it leaks through #all i can think about when i see him in this episode is how much pain he is in #and how hard he is working to hide it from everyone around him #because it's not an 'appropriate' sentiment to express #not when 'you cannot trust a single word a sorcerer says'#not when 'you know how dangerous sorcery is'#will's death is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to merlin at this point in his life and he is never allowed to grieve #the once and future slowburn #meta #no kings no masters #1.11

358 notes · View notes

knightofmordred · 3 years

Text

let's talk about gwen's trauma in bbc merlin

tw // trauma, grief, torture, death, potential racism.

im not sure what else to tw but my post will surround conversations such as these so if you are reading this and may be triggered please either stop or read with care <3

forgive me for any mistakes i will mainly be talking from memory and ofc if i say anything wrong please lmk !!

generally to start off, all of the main four characters went through trauma however you were always able to see their reaction/result of their trauma e.g morgana turning evil, arthur being self-conscious and doubtful of himself and merlin putting up a barrier in S5, but with gwen there was never anything like that which happened.

gwen went through so much throughout the entire show and yet nothing was ever handled or addressed within the show.

SEASON ONE

from the beginning it was indicated that gwen's mother passed away before the time frame shown in camelot and of course that was later confirmed. the only mention about her mother, that i can remember, is when gwen briefly spoke about how her mother was a maid in sir leon's household. we also know that elyan left camelot shortly after their mother passed away, clearly the reasoning was from grief and hurt. we didn't get to see gwen deal with the loss of not only her mum but also her brother, yes he was still alive however he left without a word, gwen and her father were left alone trying to survive.

(also elyan's trauma is also something important to be raised and spoken about)

during this time gwen and her father were still able to make a life in camelot, thomas being a blacksmith and gwen getting a job as morgana's maid. of course events unfolded and gwen was accused of witchcraft. she was thrown in prison and set to be executed. as we know this isnt the first time this will happen. we obviously saw gwen distraught and inconsolable trying to deal with her sentence however this epsiode revolved a lot around morgana and merlin more than it did gwen. e.g. them trying to release gwen etc

a few episodes later thomas is the one imprisoned and eventually was killed due to his attempted escape. again this epsiode focused more on morgana and merlin. the small clips we saw of gwen crying over her father whilst he was imprisoned and then again when she was mourning her father were little to nothing, and the only other scenes surrounding gwen were shown as her being "strong and getting her life back together". following on to merlin asking gwen if she would wish uther dead and she said no, if he died she would feel nothing but wouldn't wish him dead.

now why does gwen have to be this strong and kind hearted woman especially in this epsiode. she lost her father, practically her last and only family member left as elyan was awol and yet she was portrayed this way. she would have been allowed to be angry and upset over everything that happened.

there was a scene where gwen was crying with morgana and spoke about how she cannot go home but it wasn't about her father. it was about tauren - the man who hired thomas for whatever he was making,he came and threatened gwen.

SEASON THREE

a season later gwen and arthur are romantically involved and caught by uther and morgana during a date. uther banished gwen and was later accused of magic (again) and set to be executed (again). this episode focused more on gwen than the last ones i spoke about but again morgana and merlin's side plots were heavily involved.

after each event has taken place in these episodes, it's almost as if gwen's trauma and what she went through were put aside or forgotten about. twice she was nearly killed and once she lost her father.

later, gwen was kidnapped by cenred and morgause and threatened to bring arthur in exchange for elyan's life.

noticing a theme so far? gwen's trauma seems to be revolved around the white characters surrounding her, whether it is entwined with another character's plot or focuses on them.

SEASON FOUR

i don't remember the epsiode but i believe it was the dochard episode. gwen was attacked by morgana in an attempt to kill her.

during this time too she was also looking after and caring for uther. we know she wasn't doing it for uther but for arthur and her love for him and so he wouldn't have to worry and can focus on his duties but....she was still looking after the man who killed her father, nearly killed her a couple of times and overall ruined her life too.

now we get into gwen and lancelot. of course we all know lance was a shade and gwen was enchanted. the way this epsiode was and how they decided to portray gwen and lance for me was ://

again gwen was thrown in jail. the bracelet was never found and nothing ever came to light that she was enchanted.

so...gwen had to live with all of that regret, guilt and feelings of not understanding or knowing why she kissed lancelot for the rest of her life.

she was banished and threatened with death if she ever returned (again).

shortly later in S4 EP11, she was kidnapped (again) whilst living in ealdor. she was able to escape but then turned into a deer by morgana??? then accidentally hunted by arthur and mithian leaving her injured and hurt. which is so unnecessary because why tf turn her into an animal ???

she was nearly killed again.

and again nothing was ever addressed or spoken about in terms of what gwen went through.

SEASON FIVE

S5, uther came back as a ghost, he threatened and attacked gwen to the point she nearly died had she not been found by merlin.

in the middle of the season, gwen was kidnapped and tortured which eventually led to her being enchanted and under morgana's control in the Dark Tower.

again, gwen's trauma is tied to a white character (as in plot and needs etc).

during her enchantment gwen did a few things:

poisoned arthur and nearly killed him

killed tyr

imprisoned merlin and blamed him

conspires with an enemy and tried to kill arthur again

her enchantment was thankfully lifted but once again it just seemed like it was ignored once it was over but also i know S5 was rushed in itself anyway.

tbh you could say gwen knew nothing and couldn't remember what happened whilst she was enchanted but in With All My Heart there seemed to be some awareness from gwen about her enchantment. and also ofc people would say she couldn't remember in order to avoid the conversation around her trauma.

in the finale we see gwen in the battle helping the wounded and when the battle is won we see her having to cope with the fact they couldn't find arthur.

by this time we know where arthur is and it cuts to a scene of leon telling gwen arthur has still not been found and of course gwen is visibly upset.

when gauis comes back and gwen is informed of arthur's condition of course she believes he will get better but then she would have had to battle with the thoughts he wouldn't.

i really wish there had been a scene after this where gwen just talks to someone about what exactly she is feeling but instead it cut to the plot about eira.

the ending was kind of the same for everyone, no one got to mourn apart from merlin.

overall it just makes me so sad that gwen went through all of this and it was ignored or pushed aside because she is a "kind, strong and honest woman". she went straight back to work when her father died because it was "better than sitting in an empty house waiting for my father to return" no gwen!! you can do that if you need to!! you are allowed to be sad and hurt!!

i genuinely do think it is racist writing as black women especially are portrayed as "strong women who get on with things" when actually they've gone through a load of traumatic events and as any else are should be angry and upset and should be allowed to be portrayed that way too.

it also angers me that majority of these events which took place and gwen's experiences/trauma were almost always tied to a white character and aiding their development/storyline/plot. just why

#gwen pendragon #guinever pendragon #bbc guinevere #arthur pendragon #camelot #merlin #emrys #bbcmerlin #morgana pendragon #elyan #angel coulby #katie mcgrath #bradley james #colin morgan #gauis #knights of camelot #once and future queen #once and future king #bbc merlin

84 notes · View notes

fanfic-mind · 3 years

Text

Blood on my hands (all that i've gained and all that i've lost)

pairing: merthur

warnings: non

status: fanfic draft, Part 1/? (~ 2300)

It’s yet again an hour of need for Camelot. But the weapon they need to safe kingdom and people comes with a price. Only those who prove that they are powerful and wicked can receive it. The knights of Camelot don’t have enough evil deeds to be worthy of the sword. They think everything is lost - until Merlin speaks up...

A magic reveal story in which Merlin makes good use of being a morally grey character. Because, yea, Merlin-is-the-victim-reveals are swell and all but he is capable of making his own decisions and some of them are pretty shady. There is still a good amount of Uther bashing included.

Somehow they get into a situation that requires someone with blood on their hands - figuratively (otherwise it wouldn't be a problem because seeing how often Arthur and Merlin and also Gwaine get wounded by just existing they probably wouldn't even have to injure anyone)

Maybe a god of the Old Religion guards a weapon they need to kill the magic beast of the week or to destroy a cursed item.

In any case: they are really desperate. People are dying and this is their last hope, their last resort.

To their misfortune, this weapon is guarded by a very cunning and wicked god and they will only give their weapon to someone who has the power and the will to use it for evil deeds

There is a test that must be passed by the one who wants to receive the weapon. They must prove that they did enough evil deeds to be worthy of it.

Arthur quickly fails his test because despite some wrongs he's done he is way too just and noble to be wicked

The only knight that seems to get at least a few moments more of consideration is Leon who has done some terrible things - however under Uther's orders which isn't quite powerful enough

"Ahh, Uther Pendragon," the god muses, "Him i would have given the weapon. Such rage and blind hatred and, oh yes, so much blood."

Arthur grits his teeth and sets his jar. he wonders if his father would be disappointed in him for not living up to this legacy of his. he wonders - not for the first time - why he wanted to be like his father once and how he managed to end up being so different.

The knights discuss their strategy. non of them is wicked enough to pass the test. they have wicked people in Camelot's dungeons. But Camelot is three day rides off and their quest is really urgent.

They could separate and seek for wicked folk, but the chances seem slim and the risk of them keeping the weapon as they receive it seems too big

People are dying and they need to do something now.

"there must be another way to destroy it," Lancelot suggests, though they've been over this. His eyes stray to Merlin, but Merlin seems caught up in thought.

If there was an easier way to do this, Merlin and Gaius would have come up with it by now. asking the god had been their idea in the first place.

"What if there isn't?" Gwaine argues heatedly. "We can't have waisted six days for nothing. This is probably our last chance."

"so what do you suggest?" Lancelot interrupts somewhat irritated. They temperaments are heated at this point. And suddenly knowing each other’s worst deeds doesn’t exactly lighten the mood. "All of us failed the test. i wouldn't have thought that I'd ever be angry about being found too good and noble."

Gwaine shrugs with a grimace. He hadn't thought that he'd ever be deemed good and noble in the first place.

"maybe there's a way out of that," Arthur says. He hasn’t spoken in a while and all heads turn towards him.

"what do you mean, Sire?" Leon asks, looking uneasy as if he already knows and doesn't like it.

"If you're not noble enough, you proof your nobility by doing good deeds," Arthur starts matter of fact. "so, logically, if I'm not wicked enough, i prove my wickedness by doing an evil deed."

The god smiles a toothy smile.

"To murder just anyone obviously isn't evil enough" Arthur says, looking at the god with disgust. "so it must be somthing worse. murdering a friend, for example."

"My king, with all due respect, this is madness," Leon say carefully.

"sir Leon, that's the point." Arthur says sourly.

"is that really it?" Gwaine shouts at the god who watches his outburst unimpressed. "You want us to slaughter each other?"

the god laughs, distant and hollow and the earth seems to vibrate with it. "The weapon can only be taken by those of power who are wicked and cunning enough to wield it." the god repeats his earlier words.

"So there's not even a guarantee," Gwaine says, throwing up his arms. "Arthur, let's just leave and see if we can find something else."

"there is nothing else, Gwaine, you said so yourself!" Arthur returns. His expression is incredibly pained but determined in a way that makes them all shudder. Leon, Percival and Lancelot unconsciously get into fighting stance.

Gwaine takes a few steps to put himself between the king and Merlin who is the most vulnerable

Arthur nods to himself, seemingly coming to a decision in his head. Tehn he draws his sword . "If either of you kills me while i try to kill you, that might be enough too" he muses

They all stare at him in horror, unable to believe that he will go through with this.

"My people are dying," Arthur says, his tone pleading, "if i have to sacrifice my good conscience to help them - well, it is a price i must be willing to pay. I'm sorry. But all of you swore to protect Camelot at all costs too."

Arthur halts for am moment then nods grimly. "Don't try to sacrifice yourself. I'm sure that's not what he's looking for" Arthur nods towards the stony god who smiles.

"you can't be serious" Mordred whispers.

"I'm afraid i am. Now, it's been an honour. truely. and i hope - i hope I'll still have your respect afterwards. Though, i can understand if you can't trust me again."

"that's enough."

They all turn around. Partly, because they had forgotten about Merlin who has been uncharacteristically quiet the whole time. and partly because they have rarely heard this sort of tone from him. harsh and demanding. a voice more fit for a king than his manservant.

They stare at him and he makes short eye contact with Arthur before he steps forward, in front of the statue that the god is using as a vessel.

"test me." Merlin says. his voice is determined and his shoulders are set.

Arthur let's out a short laugh, because clearly this is absurd, right? Merlin is the best and kindest of all of them. Actually, coming to think of it, if he's really honest, Merlin probably is the reason Arthur is not like his father. Merlin makes him better. Merlin makes him want to be better.

A few of the knights share his sentiments, laughing slightly hysterical with tension but still perplexed over this development.

Only Lancelot steps forward with a frown as if to pull him back, but merlin raises a hand without looking at him and he stops in his tracks.

Arthur who was about to say something stops too.

The god looks more alive than before he seems to stretch himself to his full height as if he has waited for this

"welcome" he starts as he has with all of them. "young warlock, tell me your deeds."

lancelot tenses, casting a worried glance back at the king who stands there, sword still drawn, eyes fixed in Merlin as if he doesn't understand any of this

Lancelot doesn't either. Even if Merlin is a sorcerer - what evil deeds can he possibly have done? Saving Arthur's life over and over without ever seeking credit doesn't have a ring of evil to him.

"I am Merlin, and they call my Emrys." Merlin starts.

Some of the Knights gasp. Emrys is a name they know by now.

Lancelot wonders whether Merlin considers his identity an evil deed in itself. The possibility breaks his heart a bit.

"I was born with magic. I am the most powerful sorcerer there is."

Merlin takes a deep breath.

"i lied to all my friends. I let them think they can trust me, that they know me. But they never will. I could kill them just by looking at them. I am magic and i killed many behind friends backs and before their eyes, but never revealed myself to them"

"I am a slayer of my own people," he continues, his voice hard, "I killed many creatures and men of magic to protect their murderers - the king and his son. I did it out of self-righteousness and out of selfishness because...” for a moment, Merlin halts, but then he continuous with the same hard tone as before, as if something is forced out of him, but he wants to stand for it.

“I loved Arthur more than my own people. i let many of them die even though i could have helped them if i had revealed myself. But i couldn't bear the thought to be separated from him so i stayed quiet and watched them burn."

The god nods Merlin on. They all stand in shock. They know from before that Merlin won't be able to stop telling his deeds before the god thinks he is done.

"I killed the witch Nimueh even though she told me i have to pay with a life to save Arthur's. Instead of giving my life as i promised, i killed her."

"I killed Mary Collins, Afanc, Aulfric, Sophia, Cornelius Sigan, Myror and many more. "

Merlin's voice falters a bit, but he seems to pull himself together visibly, because his voice is clearer again when he keeps speaking.

"My betrayal to my people is so great, my wickedness so deep, i considered to kill a child on the mere possibility that he could threaten what was mine in the future."

Mordred makes a quiet stricken noise.

No one dares take their eyes off Merlin, but Merlin himself turns his head slowly.

There is a gasp of horror when they all see that his eyes are glowing yellow with magic.

Up until now, no one except Mordred and Lancelot had truly believed it.

"I tried to kill Mordred when he was a child and i wish his death even now though he is kind and serves Arthur."

Lancelot looks at Merlin with complete bewilderment as Mordred sobs.

Merlin doesn't answer Lancelot's gaze, he just turns around again.

They can hear him take in another breath and it sounds more halting than before.

"I knew that my friend had magic and i saw her turmoil and her fear of being killed. of being burned by her own kin like all of the others. but instead of helping her, i left her in the dark. I told her to trust me - she trusted my - and then i poisoned her."

Merlin stops for a moment, his voice sounds rough as if speaking becomes quickly more difficult.

"I gave Morgana poison in full intend and watched her as she died and i regretted when she was healed."

"Only i had the power and knowledge to save her, but i turned my head from her suffering, i killed her when she didn't know better than to turn to her sister, it was me that made her what she is today."

There is another short pause. Lancelot is desperate to see Merlin's face. To demand how this all really went. Because though he knows that Merlin is bound to say the truth by the power of the god, he still thinks there must be a mistake or a trick. This is not Merlin. Merlin would never...would he?

"I conspired with and freed the dragon that attacked Camelot which led to the death of many innocent people. I attempted to kill Arthur on multiple occasions."

Lancelot frowns. This one he knows to be untrue. Merlin didn't want to kill Arthur. it was Morgana's doing that he went after him.

"i saved Uther Pendragon's life - more than once. I let him live even though he slaughtered my people. I saved his life even though i didn't have to. I never killed him even though i had many opportunities."

Merlin pauses then, looking up at the god.

"Do i really need to go on?" he asks and it sounds almost indifferent. except they know Merlin and they know how his face looks when he sounds this way.

The god leans their head to one side slowly. the stone his vessel is made of groans.

"You are worthy, young warlock. More than you know. Into your hands i command my sword."

Suddenly, there is noise and light and they cover their eyes, everyone except for Merlin and Mordred.

They can't be sure but they think they can hear Merlin's voice through it all, speaking a foreign tongue. Then, it's over.

When the air clears, Merlin stands alone, the stone vessel of the god has crumbled to pieces, a big sword in his hand. For just a moment, when he turns around to face them, he looks nothing like Merlin at all. His eyes are golden, and his face is grim, lips pressed into a thin line. His posture is straight and majestic and he holds the sword like a warrior. His appearance strikes them with fear. He looks like power incarnate.

The others notice from the corners of their eyes that Mordred kneels before him. and even as they are completely bewildered, they have an urge to do the same.

The next moment though, it's all gone, and Merlin looks like he's never handled a sword before. His eyes are blue and his cheeks messy with dust and tears. He sinks to his knees and the weapon falls from his hands - is pushed from his fingers as if through magic, landing on the ground with a strange sound.

Merlin looks after the sword with disgust clear on his face. Then he looks up and suddenly he looks afraid.

To be continued

#merthur #magic reveal #merlin fanfic #merlin x arthur #merlin

7 notes · View notes

angelltheninth · 3 years

Text

Morgan le Fay Makes No Sense But I Try to Explain Anyway

I’ve been thinking about some these things for the longest time and they’re driving me crazy with questions so its time I finally write about them.

Introduction:

First of all I wanna say that I love Artoria and Mordred to bits and I wish them nothing but the best in navigating their complicated father-son relationship. Second of all, yes, I’m very aware that Morgan is a terrible person who did terrible strings BUT that doesn’t make her any less interesting. And third of all I’m a lowly simp for the Pendragon siblings ever since I watched the Merlin tv show so I can’t help but be interested in them.

With those things out of the way let me try to make at least a bit sense out of the some questions I’ve had about Morgan and her, for now, very limited but very confusing lore.

Backstory:

First lets start with her background and origins as those are one of the things that Fate changed about her. Normally Arthur and Morgan have the same mother but different fathers. Arthur’s parents are Uther and Igraine, and Morgan’s parents are Gorlois and Igraine. But in Fate Artoria and Morgan are related by Uther not Igraine. Morgan’s mother is never mentioned in Fate as of yet.

In some legends Morgan is sent away to a nunnery where she learns magic, it seems like Arthurian churches were very different than the ones we have today huh. In Fate however Morgan inherits her magic from Uther, but the magic is also a curse. The whole reason Uther even had Artoria was because he was worried about the magic dying and leaving Britain weak, but it seems to me like he didn’t even consider the possibility of Morgan being a magus. This would explain why she hates him and Artoria. Well there’s more reasons that she could hate Artoria for but we’ll get to those. Lets talk about the magic curse first.

As it was mentioned before the magic blood that Morgan has is inherited from Uther, but she also inherited the primeval curse in the form of black magical energy. We don’t really know what this curse is exactly or what kind of effect it had on Morgan or Uther. We do know that Morgan grew more and more spiteful as she grew up and while those feelings stem from her hate of Uther and later on of Artoria, its definitely possible that the black magic was one of the things that eventually drove her to be crazy and evil.

Uther Pendragon:

Now lets talk about Uther. Again not much is known about him yet, but lets just stick to what we know in relation to Morgan and his different treatment of Morgan and Artoria. Despite Morgan being older, coming from the same royal status and having inherited magic, Artoria was still more loved and cherished by Uther because she was his “true heir”, in his eyes at least. However because Morgan is older, and for a time more powerful, than her sister she thought of herself as the more legitimate ruler, and Artoria as the thief who stole her birthright. Yet another reason why she would hate Artoria. This however is completely Uther’s fault as he was the one who showed favoritism towards Artoria and left Morgan feeling insignificant, so in this sense I think Morgan’s hate is a bit misplaced.

Artoria Pendragon:

Next up is Artoria. Oh boy, these two. To say that their relationship is messed up is such an understatement. Morgan’s actions towards Artoria are one of the most confusion things about her, for me at least. We’ve already established that she hates her because she was favorited by Uther and names the rightful King of Britain instead of Morgan. That’s pretty straightforward, even though again I feel like the hatred is misplaced here. Usually all people talk about in regards to Morgan and Artoria is the whole wanting to take the throne and making Mordred to do so. Now to be fair those are already plenty fucked up by themselves, but also consider the fact that Artoria’s demise was something Morgan spent most of her life planning, that Artoria was the one who chose not to punish Lancelot after he killed three of Morgan’s kids and yet she was the one who took her to Avalon, healed her, stood watch over her until she wakes up, started a cult just to make sure she wakes up.

Lady, make it make sense! Do you want her dead or alive?!

Kay, Waver and Case Files:

This is where a lot of my confusion comes from. She spent her early life hell bent on destroying Artoria and then when she succeeds she wants to bring her back to life. Granted this could have something to do with what Kay said about Morgan seeming like she had three different people inside of her. But if that’s true are her multiple personalities something that she developed later on, or was she always three different people from the start? The three personalities are the only thing that could help explain her behavior for me.

In Case Files Waver speculates that all the contradiction in the stories about her are because the name "Morgan Le Fay" spread through Europe and became a placeholder name that assimilated many legends of fairies, witches and goddesses. He mentions the possibility that Morgan and the Celtic goddess Morrigan are one and the same. Its possible Morgan was just one of the personalities.

Is Morgan just chilling in Avalon waiting for Artoria to come back? And again, why?! If Morgan is just one of the personalities then does that mean that the one who planned to kill Artoria and the one that healed her are completely different people? Is Morgan even dead? Waver speculates she died a long time ago, but we don’t know that for sure, we just know that’s the one who came up with the ritual to bring Artoria back.

Morgan’s Separate Personalities:

Even if Morgan did have separate personalities one of them was clearly the dominant one for most of her life, from Uther’s show of favoritism up until Artoria’s death. Kay is the only one who ever talks about these different personalities most likely meaning that everyone else only ever got to see one of those three.

Regardless if there were even three personalities and which personality did what, I feel like there’s one thing that Morgan has the right to be pissed off about. The death of her kids and Lancelot not getting punished for it. Even if there are three different personalities I think all of them would be angry about that one.

Lets talk a bit about Artoria once more. Artoria never really mentions her sister, the one who talk about her is Mordred when confronting Artoria about about being her son. And then we have Kay talking about how she’s confusing and seemed like she was three different people. But Artoria never talks about her, which seems a bit odd to me since Morgan is respectable for making Mordred, sending Agravaine to Camelot as a assassin, and the one who attempted a coup d’état against her. And yet Artoria never talks about her, not even as an enemy. Its very likely that Artoria didn’t even know that she had a sister until later in her life, while Morgan was aware of Artoria all along. Taking the three personalities into account that would mean that the only version of Morgan that Artoria knew was the one that hated her and wanted to kill her. Artoria unlike Morgan isn’t a vengeful person so I can’t see her wanting to kill Morgan but its still odd that she never speaks of her in any form or fashion.

The Triple Goddess and the Horned God:

Getting back to the three personalities thing, there’s a Neopagan goddess that’s referred to as The Triple Goddess. She often rules one of the realms of heavens, earth, and underworld. In various forms of Wicca, her masculine consort is the Horned God sometimes a dual deity, the Oak King and the Holly King. The Goddess is the immortals one while her lover the Horned God dies and is later resurrected by her. Now I wouldn't call Artoria and Morgan lovers but I did want to point out the parallels between Artoria dying, Morgan waiting for her to heal and then deciding to make a ritual to revive her.

The Artoria Obsession:

Now if there aren’t three personalities and Morgan is just one Morgan all along then her actions make even less sense and we’re crossing into some seriously obsessive territory here. She spent her whole life trying to make Artoria miserable and get rid of her, and only after she finally gets what she wants she decides that she wants to heal her and bring her back.

The only way I could possibly see this making sense is that no matter how much Morgan hated Artoria, she was the reason Morgan did, well everything. For so much of her life Artoria was Morgan’s motivation. Then she got what she wanted but at the same time lost the motivation that drove her forward for so long. I honestly can’t see Morgan having a sudden change of heart after a lifetime of resenting her sister. Its possible that she’s a sadist who wants Artoria to suffer over and over, or she might feel empty without that struggle and drive she felt when Artoria was alive. In both cases its clear that she needs Artoria in her life in some way in order to have something to strive for, even if that something is negative.

And that’s it. I’m done. This was my attempt of trying to make sense of Morgan lore, no matter how contradictory it might be at times. There’s probably things I missed or got wrong and I really hope we get some actual canon answers soon.

#fate stay night #fate grand order #fgo #morgan le fay #fgo morgan #artoria pendragon #mordred #fate mordred #analysis #character analysis #fate lore #arthurian legend

47 notes · View notes

originlist · 2 years

Text

@wieldedhonor спросил(а):

"You have remained alive inside my memory for a long time" / to Lancelot!

perhaps he’s snappish because he knows this is in response to something, this is almost the equivalent of arthur telling him he has worth. no, this can’t be done. no, arthur cannot do this. arthur is the king who goes questing, he should have a knight-who-is-a-knight at his side and-or in his memory. if lancelot cannot kill arthur, he can kill arthur’s memory of him.

“which one? the one that was able to sit at your side, who could say he’s your knight? i’m not that lancelot.” that is the one who arthur should remember. that one is saber, who still has light to him. “or are you saying your memory has sitting around in it the bastard who betrayed your trust and castle? treat yourself better. all i am is a shadow. neither lancelot is worth anything.”

his hands are twitchy, shaky. vocal tone flickers. it’s not that he’s angry — just that if he could tear out his own throat he would, but self-flagellation is the limit of his abilities. a hunting dog gone bad and still, arthur claims it salvageable, refuses to lop its head off.

#wieldedhonor #ic : lancelot #asks

2 notes · View notes

sadhaa · 4 years

Text

ok. okay. Okay. OKAY. THOUGHT

Fic idea: Death Song of Uther Pendragon. BUT REVOLVING AROUND MERLIN.

Like the potential for this is amazing. ANGST. ROMANCE. MAGIC REVEAL. IDIOTS IN LOVE. WE HAVE IT ALL(Note: I had this thought in the shower where all great thoughts come from. dont judge)

Ok lets set the scene:

1. Lancelot is alive bc yes

2. Arthur let Gwen go to be with Lance bc he realizes it was mean of him to hold her back from someone she loved.

3. Arthur has feelings for Merlin. Like love. yike. scary.

4. Merlin over the years has a few pieces of parchment where he has written down all his “crimes”, or times he uses magic. He has another piece of parchment where he writes a letter to Arthur about why he didnt tell him and how sorry he was. Merlin did this cause he felt guilty and needed to find someway to cope.

OK ON TO THE THOUGHT:

So, beginning starts the same with the almost burning and getting the horn. check. done.

They go back, Arthur broods, hides the idea from Merlin.

they go off on their little adventure, he talks to Uther

NOW HERES WHERE THINGS GET SPICY

AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY

Uther knows about Merlin’s magic bc he sees everything over Camelot right? He knew about the knights (and in canon he knew about Gwen) So this man has to know about Merlin’s magic considering this dumb little magic twink has ZERO self preservation instinct. and Uther. is. pissed.

So he says “you let common men become knights, there is magic in the heart of Camelot!” much angry. very dick. so Uther.

Arthur: shock and sad. Who could it be?

commence the looking back and shit show that Arthur is about to cause.

CAMPING SCENE! but Arthur doesn’t tell Merlin about the magic comment bc he doesn’t want Merlin to worry and if Merlin found out, he may become a target.

Back in Camelot everything is fine until it isnt. cause its Camelot. and nothing is ever fine there.

BUT. NOW.

the ghosting that Uther is doing is now solely directed at Merlin.

candelabra doesnt fall on the table. It fucking gets yeeted at Merlin. M nearly gets crushed under that thing and the knights all freak out.

cause we all know that the knights adopted Merlin at this point

M gets taken to Gaius and he concludes that M is bruised and lightly concussed. (i dont want my boy too hurt)

Next the axe. M helps some of the knights with their armor and as he is the last one, he cleans up a bit. suddenly axe yeets itself and M gets a scratch all down his arm

sad and in pain Merlin

Now, M thinks A did something sus

u can tell I played alot of Among Us lately

also how does one spell suspicicious?

he confronts him, A brushes him off. bc he love his daddy. But A looks kinda like longingly and concerned for M bc he knows that M gets hurt quite a bit, but never like this.

M leaves and cue the torches and fire sequence.

*insert pic of Edna with fire in her goggles* *Uther is Edna, but more evil*

Gwen is walking down the hall when she notices the smoke and call for help.

our OG6 come running and find M, unconscious, bleeding and suffocating.

A freaks the hell out.

M’s room: he is on the bed and everyone, including OG6 and Gwen are in there with Gaius and M.

Main Q: Why would Uther try to kill M when he appointed M in the first place!

Gaius realizes. Lance realizes. oh shit. He knows

Lance and Gaius tell them and there are some mixed reactions.

Leon, kinda suspected it from the beginning but he didn’t have enough evidence to back it up

Absolute shock to Gwaine, Elyan, Percival and Gwen

ARTHUR IS FUCKING DEVASTATED. He has been lied to and cue the betrayal and manpain.

Suddenly the attacks on M make more sense

candelabra: being buried alive, asphyxiation.

ok i am borrowing this idea from the author of the amazing fic These Breaths We Breathe series where Uther finds out about M and buries him alive

yall should read it.

author is kayura_sanada

Axe: beheading

torches: the pyre

the symbolism here is prob the smartest thing I have ever done. like y couldn’t i think of this back in soph year english?

Uther was threatening M and trying to kill him

Arthur is conflicted so Gaius gives him Merlin’s list of “crimes” and the letter. All of the others leave and Gwaine implies that he would fight A for M.

Cue emotional transformation and realization.

Arthur flashes back to Isolde and Tristan and realizes that letting Gwen go wasn’t that bad, but losing M? that would fucking kill him. He can imagine a future without Gwen. But M? Nah man. They are two sides of the same coin. two halves of a whole idiot. two braincells of the same dumbass brain. they love each other. A needs M. A loves M.

So he plans to confront his father

he gets the gang and they all set out to find Uther.

They all tell him how they are accepting of M and why and that A should tell M he loves him when this is over.

A is touched and is glad that M has this family who loves him so much

now fighting Uther

right before he blows the horn, Uther says “Merlin has Magic!” and A goes “Yeah, I know and I love him” and yeets him back to Narnia (or where ever these ghost people go)

M wakes up to everyone knowing, breaksdown crying and feels loved

jump ahead a week: A hasn’t told M how he feels. He is doing something else instead and it is a surprise.

Leon walks in during that week and asks what hes doing. Arthur freaks out, hides the thing and blurts out “I’m writing Poetry”

Leon has never heard such bs in his life. But he gives up and walks away.

2 weeks later, A tells M he loves him by repealing Magic ban. and they live happily ever after.

yay.

Can someone write this pls? Like im still planning to write the long fic idea i had from my last post, but can someone write this? I would love them forever.

Bonus: Ygraine freaking WHOOPS Uther’s ass and loves M alot.

tl;dr: death song of U Pendragon with M, magic reveal, angst and Leon deserving a raise.

78 notes · View notes

panharmonium · 4 years

Photo

you know what?

no. absolutely not.

i already did part 1 of this post here. i’m back again with part 2, because unfortunately the awfulness factor doesn’t stop with arthur, and as much as i adore hunith generally, this entire sequence is a MESS.

and yes, i am aware that pretty much nobody else thinks so. every time i see this scene referenced in fandom, it is always framed as a fun, cutesy, sing-songy moment of “oooo, hunith ships merthur!” literally every time.

which, you know, like i always say about everything fandom-related - that’s fine. everybody is going to enjoy things differently; you do you, and keep on having fun! but here on my own blog, in my own space, i am gonna do me, and in this case ‘me’ involves yelling about how much i can’t stand that particular read, and how angry the end of 1.10 makes me.

disclaimer, to help folks curate their own fandom experiences: i am going to be Very Cranky for the rest of this post. if you love this particular scene in the way i just mentioned, you will probably want to scroll on by, because this piece of meta most likely won’t be your jam. as always, these are my personal thoughts and nobody is obligated to share them, so please do not hesitate to simply skip this post if we are on different wavelengths - instead, keep enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you!

fair warning now given, off i go on a long, frustrated tirade.

i already wrote about the first half of this scene, where arthur decides that the appropriate thing to do at this particular moment is to give merlin a scolding about the evils of sorcery, despite the fact that the only reason arthur is even alive to deliver this lecture in the first place is because merlin’s ‘sorcerer’ best friend just DIED saving arthur’s life. but sure, you know what, let’s use said best friend’s funeral to chastise merlin about how “dangerous” sorcerers are. let’s just make that completely dickheaded decision.

and, moving on to the second half of this scene - here’s the thing. hunith overhears this entire conversation. she overhears arthur telling merlin off about sorcery, in front of the burning corpse of merlin’s best friend, who is, as far as arthur knows, the ‘sorcerer’ who died saving arthur’s life.

and yet, for some inexplicable reason, hunith still cannot get off the arthur pendragon train for two damn seconds.

she has known arthur for less than a week. by contrast, she has known will for his entire life. but the instant arthur walks away, hunith sidles up next to merlin and says, “you’d better be going” - like. okay, my god, can you try to hustle him away from his best friend’s in-progress funeral any faster????? how about we maybe give him a second? the pyre hasn’t even burnt down yet, and merlin hasn’t had a single second to himself since this sequence started. he’s had to stand there and listen to arthur insult the dude who everyone is supposed to be memorializing, and then hunith - who overheard the entire thing - zips right over and tries to chivvy merlin on his way. you’d better be going.

HELLO?! the pyre is still roaring. how about, instead of hassling merlin and hustling him offstage, everybody just sits down and waits for a minute. how about they all just leave merlin alone for three everloving seconds.

honestly, just - every time i think about this scene i get angrier.

i love hunith, and i know she’s well-intentioned. but everything she gives merlin in this scene is the exact opposite of what he needs. he doesn’t need to be hurried off the village green like there’s some reason he can’t stay there for the entirety of his friend’s funeral. he doesn’t need to be pushed into going back to camelot when he is clearly struggling with the idea of leaving ealdor again. and he absolutely does not need to be told how much someone else “needs” him right now, when he himself is the one who is having a fucking crisis and who needs someone to take care of him.

i cannot emphasize that last point enough. it is just - beyond upsetting to me that hunith literally watches arthur shitting on merlin’s dead best friend (and, by proxy, merlin himself, since merlin is the actual sorcerer) and she still somehow thinks the right thing to do is walk over and start telling merlin how great arthur is and how arthur “needs” him and how merlin “belongs at arthur’s side.”

i can’t stand that. it makes me so angry. it’s not right. it’s not fair. it’s damaging. it’s the same shitty messaging that destroys merlin’s life in later seasons, this idea that he exists for someone else’s sake, the complete disregard for what he himself might want at any given moment, for what he himself might need, for the reservations he might have about this plan that other people have formulated for his life.

he is UNCOMFORTABLE when she says these things to him! he doesn’t look at her; he shifts his gaze to arthur and the camelot squad with this grim, unconvinced expression on his face, and then he averts his eyes from her.

everything hunith tells merlin in this scene is the exact opposite of what he needs to hear. he does not need someone to tell him how badly his services are “needed” by a man who hates the person merlin truly is, not when the only friend who ever accepted merlin’s true self has just been killed. he does not need to be told that arthur, who is alive solely because will is dead and who only seconds ago expressed exactly zero gratitude for that sacrifice, is the person to whom merlin owes his undying loyalty. he does not need to be shuffled off to camelot as quickly as possible, as if it would be better for him to just rush forward and forget what happened here, as if what happened here didn’t matter.

because what happened here did matter, whether hunith and arthur find it convenient to acknowledge or not. i have to lay this out again, because what happened to merlin in ealdor is so much more important than anybody ever seems to realize - and i do understand that, i really do (because yes, it was just one episode for us) - but we have to look at it from merlin’s perspective, not the audience’s.

will wasn’t ‘one episode’ for merlin.

i can’t say this enough times. i cannot say this loudly enough.

merlin, at the beginning of this show, has only ever had ONE FRIEND.

most of us can’t even imagine something like that.

but try. TRY.

merlin has only ever had one friend. he’s only ever had one friend to love him. he only had one friend for the first two decades of his life. he’s only been in camelot for a couple of months; he’s only known these camelot people for a couple of months, and they don’t know his real self anyhow. and now his ONLY FRIEND, the person he’s known all his life, the only friend he ever had who knew him for who he truly was, was just violently cut down before his very eyes, whilst saving a guy who can legally have merlin murdered for just existing. and even though merlin and will spend the entirety of 1.10 having a painful, complicated argument, will still uses his last moments on earth to tell the biggest fucking whopper of his life, in order to shield merlin from harm, taking all of the danger and infamy and condemnation upon himself. he dies with a lie on his lips. he dies with merlin’s hand in his hair.

and all the while, merlin knows that this would not have happened if he had just been willing to use his magic in the first place, instead of letting his fear of discovery prompt him into allowing his neighbors to offer themselves up for the slaughter in his place.

the avalanching double-whammy of grief and guilt that merlin is suddenly slammed with at the end of this episode is almost incomprehensible in scale.

i’ve talked about this before, but again, i think it’s something we don’t generally remember: losing will is the first time merlin has ever experienced personal bereavement. and he doesn’t get to start out with a warm-up; he goes straight to the big leagues. this is not some trifling thing. this is a total implosion of merlin’s world as he knows it.

when we think about the mark this episode leaves on merlin’s life, i don’t think most of us consider the magnitude of this event deeply enough. losing will in this way is not some one-off thing that merlin just...gets over. this is the most earth-shattering thing that has ever happened to him, at this point in time. it is still one of the worst things that has ever happened to him, period, even years later. the guilt never goes away.

and the thing that’s unique about this particular trauma is that merlin has to manage it alone. there are other tragedies in his life where we witness him receiving support/comfort from others - freya, lancelot, balinor (though of course there are aspects to these miseries that merlin has to keep secret from other people, as well) - but with will, merlin has to do everything on his own. he can’t get one single moment of peace at will’s funeral. his own mother, the only person who knows what really happened, can’t help him without making everything about arthur. and merlin can’t tell anyone else what happened, not the truth of it, because doing so would squander the gift he’s been given - will’s lie is still protecting him, years later, from arthur and morgana both.

merlin, at the end of 1.10, is forced to navigate this grief completely alone, in the silent secrecy of his own heart. arthur is actively making it worse. hunith is out here singing arthur’s praises. and will is just like - he’s suddenly not part of the conversation anymore. he doesn’t even register on anyone’s radar.

it truly is...incredible, for me, to watch hunith overhear arthur being legitimately terrible to both merlin and the guy who just died saving merlin AND arthur’s lives, and then to see her come over and start talking about how merlin belongs at arthur’s side, how much merlin needs to be there for him, how they’re two sides of the same coin. meanwhile, the guy who literally just lied his life away to protect merlin’s secret and who NEVER made merlin feel like he had to hide who he was and who never had any problem with magic in the first place and never made merlin feel unsafe and never treated merlin like he was less of a human being just for existing -

- he’s just burning to ash there, and hunith doesn’t even acknowledge that, despite the fact that merlin is so visibly, intently, single-mindedly focused on that funeral pyre, and so clearly in distress and in pain and NEEDING somebody. all she can talk about is merlin’s responsibility to arthur.

the dissonance here is baffling. hunith has known will forever. she met arthur less than a week ago. she barely knows him, and what she does know is that he thinks magic-users are dangerous/evil. she saw him being a dick to her kid. she knows her son is having the worst day of his life. and she still doesn’t offer a single comforting word in reference to the person who just died protecting merlin’s secret, instead choosing to wax poetic about a man whose bigotry is what merlin needed protecting from in the first place.

that...is a hot mess. the merlin-hunith-will dynamic is one of the few things in this show that reflects less-than-stellarly on hunith’s character, however much i love her. and even though it all stems from an overwhelming desire to keep her son safe, it doesn’t make her choices any less damaging. she sends merlin away specifically because she finds out that will knows about his secret. she spends 1.10 analyzing and encouraging and dissecting merlin’s relationship with arthur, when merlin’s relationship with will is the one that desperately needs attention. she’s proven wrong about will’s trustworthiness in the most stunning, powerful way possible, and then she never even acknowledges him, instead choosing to laud the dude who literally forces merlin to live in fear of execution.

she’s merlin’s mother. she’s the only person in his life who knows anything about what will actually meant to him. she is his only possible resource as he tries to weather a kind of devastation that defies description.

and she, like arthur, just barrels right on ahead and makes everything about someone else.

the cinematography choices in this scene matter. whenever arthur or hunith tries to talk to merlin, the camera is placed on the opposite side of the fire from them, meaning the flames are always in the foreground of the frame. they are something we are required to see and look past before we can get to anything else in the scene. and in terms of directorial/acting decisions - merlin doesn’t take his eyes off the pyre until the end of his conversation with hunith. not once while talking to arthur does he look away from it.

the funeral pyre is always in the foreground of the shot, because it’s in the forefront of merlin’s mind. that is where his focus is right now. that is what is taking up all of his attention. that is what is edging into the frame, eating up our entire field of view. that is what he needs help with.

but he doesn’t get any such support. the entire sequence ends up revolving around arthur. will’s entire funeral is about arthur fucking pendragon. arthur inserts himself so he can talk to merlin about how evil magic is, and then hunith inserts herself so she can talk to merlin about how great arthur is. nobody ever stops to think that maybe merlin doesn’t want to talk to anybody right this second. merlin’s entire ‘farewell’ to the only true friend he ever had in his life is completely swallowed up by the prince of camelot, and if that isn’t a metaphor for the rest of merlin’s life, then i don’t know what is.

i know nobody needs to hear this, because very few people are invested in this kid at the same level of embarrassing detail as me, but here it is, anyway.

yes, will is prickly. he’s hard to get on with. he’s angry. he’s bitter and snappy and uncharitable, sometimes.

but you know what? he has every reason to be like that.

this kid has nobody. his own best friend’s mother - who has known him all his life - doesn’t trust him and doesn’t respect him. she is too afraid for her own son’s safety to give will any credit. she sends merlin away to camelot, the most violently anti-magic place in the world, because apparently, will knowing about merlin’s secret would be even more dangerous than uther pendragon’s genocidal reign.

think about how that would feel. to hear something like that about yourself. to be somebody who is already so goddamn alone in the world, and to have your only friend vanish without so much as a ‘see you later,’ and then to be made to feel, however indirectly, like this is somehow your fault, like you’re the liability, like you’re the untrustworthy element here. as if you, somehow, are more dangerous than a king who literally pays to have sorcerers trafficked to him in cages.

will has every right to be upset, all the time. he has every reason to be angry, and bitter, and hurt, all the time. to be thought so poorly of - to be held in such low esteem - when he hasn’t done anything wrong, when he hasn’t ever done anything to earn that kind of mistrust - and to have that same misplaced suspicion used to justify separating him from the only person in the world who gives a damn about him - if it were me, i would be constantly on the verge of screaming, all the time.

will has always been on merlin’s side, and he has never done anything to endanger him, and in the end he gives up everything to make sure merlin can stay safe and hidden and unhunted. he shouldn’t have needed to prove his goodness, his constancy, his worth; not when he’s already kept merlin’s secret for who knows how many years, but even after he does do so, it doesn’t even matter. arthur acknowledges him only to disparage sorcery. hunith passes him over completely in favor of praising arthur, with no acknowledgment of the misjudgment she made.

i have said before that merlin tends to befriend people who have nobody, people who’ve been left behind by the rest of the world, people who’ve been made to feel that they aren’t worthy of love. and will, merlin’s oldest friend, was the first of those many characters, and it is so heartbreaking to me that in this instance, the same kind of disinterested and careless attitude towards his worth that dogged him all his life is perpetuated and affirmed after his death. ‘people are used to ignoring him,’ merlin tells arthur, and merlin is right - even when will is dead and burning, arthur only sees sorcery. hunith, who we would expect to be more sympathetic, only sees arthur.

merlin is the only one who knows better. merlin has always known better, and he loves will so much, but he is the only one, apparently, and honestly, after will dies? nobody else even tries to understand.

to sum up:

hunith and arthur, for all that i love them, are both way out of line at the end of this episode.

the legacy of this experience, for merlin, is that he spends the rest of his life processing this particular trauma alone. and that is why i always, always have to keep will and ealdor in the back of my mind when i write for merlin in any capacity - because this event isn’t some simple stumbling block for him; it changes him forever. it teaches him what he can and can’t expect from the people around him, and it solidifies how irrelevant his own needs are when viewed in comparison with arthur’s, even to people who barely even KNOW arthur; people who are supposed to put merlin first over everything. it teaches merlin to bury his sorrow, and to wrestle with personal suffering in secret, because if things aren’t ultimately about arthur, then they aren’t important enough to be granted any significant amount of time for merlin to deal with. merlin’s own grief, even at his best friend’s funeral, takes too long to resolve. arthur walks away from the pyre, and it’s time for merlin to leave, too. you’d better be going.

bottom line: i don’t care if other people think this whole ‘ooo, everybody wants merlin to be with arthur’ thing is wonderful or beautiful or dreamily romantic. it isn’t. it’s ugly, and it’s cruel, and it stripped merlin of his present identity and his future potential, one stolen moment at a time.

#and that's what i have to say about that #so.#in case you all weren't already aware #will is a goddamn hero #and merlin misses him every day #the once and future slowburn #meta #no kings no masters

550 notes · View notes