#Kaniehtí:io incorrect quotes
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Ziio: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it.
Achilles: Just rip the bandage off.
Ziio: It’s Haytham Kenway.
Achilles: Put the bandage back on.
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Haytham: they call me master.
Kaniehtí:io: Oh really? Well. wait until you see what I'm gonna call you!
#ooc#incorrect quotes#source: Hocus Pocus#Haytham Kenway#Kaniehtí:io#assassins creed#ac3#assassins creed III#assassins creed 3#Haytham Kenway incorrect quotes#Kaniehtí:io incorrect quotes#zilo#Zilo incorrect quotes#ac3 incorrect quotes#assassins creed incorrect quotes#assassins creed III incorrect quotes#assassins creed 3 incorrect quotes
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[Haytham and Connor running to the front door, as Haytham struggles to keep a big wolf spider from escaping the glass he’s trapped it in.]
Haytham: Get the door, get the door, get the door!?
[Connor opens to reveal Ziio holding groceries, who gasps as her husband throws the spider at her, Haytham blanches as Connor quickly slams the door.]
Haytham: Oh my God, did we just-?
[Ziio can be heard screaming through the door.]
Connor: [locks door] Go! Get your keys and go!
Haytham: But-!
Connor: She can only ground me! Go!
[Ziio continues to scream, Haytham runs out of the house and has been hiding out in Edward’s attic for the last two days.]
#source: malcolm in the middle#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton#kaniehtí:io#haytham kenway#Ziio/Haytham#edward kenway
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[Elise filming a tik tok for Ziio with caption Road trips going great!!🤩}
*Shows they’re stuck in traffic as Careless whisper plays on the radio*
Connor &Arno: [singing at the top of their lungs] I’M NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN! GUILTY FEELINGS GOT NO RHYTHM!
Haytham: *silently staring listlessly ahead resisting urge to bang his head against the steering wheel.*
#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#Assassin's creed unity#haytham kenway#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton#arno dorian#elise de la serre#kaniehtí:io#Ziio/Hayham#in this au Ziio and Haytham adopted Elise and Arno#Assassin's creed Modern AU
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Conversation
Haytham: You know, I could really fall for a girl like you.
Ziio: Hopefully off a cliff.
#submission#anonymous#haytham kenway#kaniehtí:io#Assassin's Creed#assassin's creed iii#source: monkey island#incorrect quotes#ac#AC III
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Conversation
Elise de la Serre: I've never had a boyfriend threaten to commit arson for me before!
Kaniehtíio: It gets old.
#assassin's creed iii#assassin's creed: unity#elise de la serre#kaniehtí:io#*acincorrectquotes#*mine#incorrect quotes#parks and rec
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ziio: the hat has to come off
haytham: no, no, the hat stays
ziio: it won’t fit in the carriage
haytham, while throwing the hat: wELL FUCK
•Mod Zer0•
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[Shay doing his weekly phone call home to see how things are going, his younger sister answers.]
Elise : Hi Shay, Mom can't talk to you right now. We're on our way to Aunt Jenny's funeral.
Shay : Wha...Aunt Jenny died? When?!
Elise: Two week ago.
Shay: Why didn’t anyone tell me?
Elise: We did, well mom left a message with your roommate the angry Frenchman whose always calling you ‘Connard’.
(Ziio looks up from fixing Arno’s tie and gives Elise the look.)
Elise: *meekly* sorry mommy.
Shay : How did she die?
Elise: Cats ate her face.
Shay : Elise, I think you're confused. I'm asking about Aunt Jenny.
Elise : Moi aussi, Cats ate her face.
Shay : Put Mom or Dad on the phone.
[Elise hands the phone to Haytham whose ironing Connor’s suit jacket.]
Haytham: Hello?
Shay : Dad, what happened to Aunt Jenny?
Haytham : Cats ate her face. Here, Elise was there she knows more about it than I do.
[hands the phone back to Elise]
#source: malcolm in the middle#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#AC3#ac rogue#AC unity#kaniehtí:io#haytham kenway#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton#arno dorian#elise de la serre#shay cormac#Shay.Elise and Arno are the Kenways adopted children#modern au#Ziio/Haytham
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Haytham:
Ziio's gonna kill me.
Connor:
No, she'll probably make me do it.
#Source: futurama#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#haytham kenway#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton#kaniehtí:io#ziio/Haytham
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[The video store, midnight. Haytham walks out of it in a stupor while flames inside it get bigger. ]
Haytham: Connor?! I'm comin'! I'm comin', Connor! [mumbles incoherently, waving the videos he took with him in anger] Connor!
[He finally collapses into a snowdrift in the parking lot, morning. Haytham is now frozen and covered in snow. His facial expression has gotten worse. Kaniehtí:io, and the kids arrive some time later]
Kaniehtí:io: I spoke with the insurance company. [they look at the destroyed video store] They said we can get some of our money back. Not all of it, but some. You wanna go home? Get changed? Take a shower?
Haytham: [through frozen lips] No...
Kaniehtí:io: You wanna just sit here a little more and be frozen?
Haytham: Yeah...
Kaniehtí:io: You want me to bring you some McDonald's?
Haytham: Okay...
Kaniehtí:io: *sighs* What do you want from McDonald's?
Haytham: Chicken nuggets... and fries... sweet and sour sauce... and a Hi-C Orange.
[ Kaniehtí:io and the kids turn and walk away. Connor returns and replaces the videos Haytham has in his hand with the same movies on his iPad]
#S: south park#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#assassin's creed unity#assassin's creed rogue#haytham kenway#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton#kaniehtí:io#Ziio/Haytham#Shay.Elise and Arno are the Kenways adopted children#Shay cormac#elise de la serre#arno dorian
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[Elise is grounded and barred from going to a sleep over party at Aveline’s]
Elise: You can't keep me away from my friends. I'll disobey!
Ziio: I'm Shay Cormac's mother. You think you know any tricks I haven't seen?
[after Ziio leaves, Elise sneaks out the window and climbs down the tree, but Ziio is waiting beneath with a laundry basket and catches her]
Ziio : (slyly) Shay Cormac, age 6.
[after they leave, Shay comes out of a hidden door in the bushes, wearing ninja clothes and holding a skateboard]
Shay : *chuckles* Shay Cormac, age 17. *skates away*
#Source: the simpsons#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#AC3#ac rogue#AC unity#Shay.Elise and Arno are the Kenways adopted children#Assassin's creed Modern AU#kaniehtí:io#elise de la serre#shay cormac
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(at Aunt Jenny's funeral, Connor curiously stares into the casket before grabbing one of his aunts hands lifting it up then letting go, repeats this a few times, when Achilles stops him.)
Achilles: Don’t hassle the dead boy they have eerie powers.
Connor: *shrugs* huh...
(Connor goes to find his brother and sister, Achilles follows to make sure they stay out of trouble. while Haytham and Ziio go up to the casket.)
Ziio's Brain: *Oh, I thought this thing was going to be catered. Boy, am I hungry. I mean, I'm really, really, hungry.*
Ziio: It's just not fair, dammit! (breaks down crying and slams her fist on casket, Haytham hugs and leads her away.)
(Elise goes up to the casket; not seeing Connor & Arno sneak behind it)
Elise: Goodbye Aunt Jenny. I wish I made more of an effort to know you these last few years.....
“Aunt Jenny”: *in a raspy voice* Don't worry about it...
(Elisa blanches runs away screaming in terror; as Connor and Arno come out from behind the coffin laughing.)
#Source: The simpsons#kaniehtí:io#Ziio/Haytham#ratohnhaké:ton#connor kenway#elise de la serre#arno dorian#achilles davenport#in this au Ziio and Haytham adopted Elise and Arno#Assassin's creed Modern AU#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#Assassin's creed unity#Jennifer Scott#Jenny and Ziio did not get along
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[Ziio is driving the boys to hockey practice Arno’s sleeping while Connor & Jacob are discussing comic book characters.]
Jacob: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich.
*they compare the covers*
Connor: Hey, they do look alike!
Jacob: Wonder how Richie died...?
Connor: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life.
*from the front seat*
Ziio: Kids, could you lighten up a little?
#Source: the simpsons#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#assassin's creed syndicate#Assassin's creed Modern AU#kaniehtí:io#ratohnhaké:ton#connor kenway#Jacob Frye#arno dorian
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[Haytham and Ziio go out for the weekend and leave the kids home alone for the first time things pretty much go wrong for Connor, Arno and Elise.}
(after Arno forgot to use a coaster on the table Connor’s re-varnishing it)
Connor: It was Sand... varnish... wax! buff! Sand, Varnish, Wax...Buff!
Elise: Hurry Mom and Dad are going to be home in 48 hours!
[Arno shoves Connor aside and tries to work faster knocking the varnish can over the three gasp, but sigh when nothing happens, Elise goes to picks up the can and the boys watch in horror when a tiny drop falls onto the carpet! the kids scream.]
Elise (Vacuuming): The stains not coming out!... I’m putting it on high!
{The guys watch as carpet gets pulled into the vacuum and causing it to short out! they scream again!]
*cut to the kids hiring an entire repair crew*
Arno *to the woman varnish the table*: Are you sure you can get that ring out? I can’t afford anymore screw ups, I just spent my last dollar on deodorizing carpet seal. *the man spraying the carpet gives Arno a thumbs up*
Connor *to a man carrying paint*: What color is that, is that Eggshell white?! It’s gotta to be Swiss Coffee!
*cut to two days later*
Connor: Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go...Our parents are gonna be home any minute!
*front door opens*
Haytham: What the hell is going on here?!
*The repair crew and kids gasp as Haytham pulls the plug on the stereo*
Haytham: this party is officially over! You kids get out of here before I call your parents!
Ziio *scolding Connor,Arno and Elise*: I don’t know how you three can be so irresponsible! You’re grounded...
*the kids bow their heads and go to their rooms.*
Haytham *at the repairmen*: What were you thinking? You’ve got school tomorrow!
#source: king of the hill#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#assassin's creed 3#assassin's creed unity#kaniehtí:io#haytham kenway#elise de la serre#arno dorian#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton
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[Edward's new computer is having difficulties. It's picked up air traffic control information]
Edward: [frantically talking and typing]
Ey! You're losing the altitude! Go left, go left!
[Connor claiming to have fixed the computer's problems]
Connor:
I just took all that air traffic control stuff and just wiped it right off the screen.
Arno:*from outside*
Bon dieu!?!
[a roar of engines, and landing gear can be seen passing by the window of the manor front lawn. Ziio,Haytham and Elise leap to the window's ledge and looks]
Ziio:
[to the others about the confused passengers ] You should see the looks on their faces!
#Source: Night Court#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#Assassin's creed Modern AU#assassin's creed 3#assassin's creed 4#connor kenway#ratohnhaké:ton#edward kenway#kaniehtí:io#haytham kenway#elise de la serre#arno dorian
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[The Kenways are visiting Kaniehtí:io’s foster father Achilles for Christmas, She and Connor watch in horror as Haytham sits is Achilles’s chair.]
Haytham [confused]: What?
[Achilles walks up behind him with a scary look, uses his cane to dip the chair backwards so Haytham can see him.]
Achilles: Get out of my chair, Kenway, or you'll get a candy cane up your chimney!
[Haytham blanches and moves to the couch, awkwardly watches his family open presents whilst nervously side glancing his father-in law.]
#source: that 70s show#incorrect assassin's creed quotes#kaniehtí:io#ratohnhaké:ton#Ziio/Haytham#connor kenway#haytham kenway#achilles davenport#Assassin's creed Modern AU
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