Lan Sizhui: *before going to help Lan Wangji with a surprise for WWX* Hey, can you guys just, distract A-Die? Baba and I shouldn’t take more than an hour.
Ouyang Zizhen: You can count on us!
-
Ouyang Zizhen: *wanders up to WWX* Senior Wei? Where do they keep the extra robes?
Wei Wuxian: *holding a basket he was taking to the gardens so he could fill it with the rabbits and Little Apple’s afternoon snacks, but that’s where his surprise is* Why do you need extra robes?
Ouyang Zizhen: I shit my pants.
Jin Ling: *face in palms*
Lan Jingyi: :O
Wei Wuxian: …do you… need help with that?
Ouyang Zizhen: Yup!
Wei Wuxian: *muttering to himself* I thought I had gotten past that stage of child rearing, alright, come on.
Jin Ling: *turns to LJY* You know that means we have to wait till he’s back before either of us give the same excuse so he has to double back two more times.
Lan Jingyi: Listen. I’m not worried about that part. I’m wondering if I this counts as a good enough reason to lie or if I wanna avoid handstands afterwards.
Jin Ling: 👁️👄👁️ oh my god
One Hour Later
Wei Wuxian: *standing in the infirmary with three embarrassed teens* I just don’t know what they could have eaten to get them all sick like that. I haven’t even made them food recently, they should be fine. Maybe I should check on Lan Zhan and A-Yuan, just in case they feel icky too.
Jin Ling: *turns even redder, grabs WWX’s arm and holds on with both his* DaJiu, don’t leave us here! I’m… afraid of doctors!
Wei Wuxian: That’s fair, me too. *easily caves and sits down to be cuddled by teenagers*
Lan Doctor: 👁️👄👁️ oh my god
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Just now I've seen somebody on a Jiang Cheng hate post say that Jiang Cheng did the second worst job of raising a child that wasn't his own and I-
Ma'am, Jin Ling would challenge you to a duel you if he heard you.
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@jiangchengsjawline @whumpbby on a related note to this post, jc badgered by the world to stabilize ymj with an heir gets a magic baby!lotus and thinks, i don't want anyone else in my house. so, he conducts the energies for the magic baby!lotus via sandu and suibian. and never mentions this to anyone ever.
---
JL: who's the other parent?
JC (thinking of wwx calling him SLJ and addressing him like a stranger): he's dead.
---wwx finds out about the kid---
WWX: so tell your uncle wei, who is the brave woman who endured jc's noxious personality long enough to produce a baby.
JL (at least, 5 Jin disciples hiding behind him): this is a night hunt!
around them the forest is peaceful and very still, not even a cricket dares to chirp.
WWX (blithely): and what a great job you did all the ghosts have fled from the might of the jin sect. so let's catch up! who's the unluckiest lady of the jianghu?
the jin sect disciples huddle closer to JL.
JL (rising to his full height and pulling JGY's best customer service smile onto his face): if you are so interested in the business of yunmeng jiang sect, i'll be delighted to escort you there.
wwx, the coward, folds like a wet blanket. in the privacy of his own head, JL sneers at him. how dare wwx demand jiujiu's secrets when he's not even willing to face the man.
--- three months and a few days after the magic lotus has ripened into a human child ---
wwx crawls into lotus pier. the wards around the child's chambers are impressive. still wwx could break them, jc has never beaten him, after all. but if jc trusted him with the child, he would have invited him, wouldn't he have? (the invitation said lan sect + spouses, jc doesn't know wwx has been banned from joining the lans in a diplomatic function) wwx isn't going to disrespect jc's boundaries more than he already has, just a little, it's fine jiang cheng will never know. wwx places his gifts among all the other ostentatious presents from sect leaders far and wide.
when the baby learns to crawl and grab, she picks out a silly bamboo flute carved with all kinds of nasty lake critters, its tassel boring, mud colored thread. JL balks, how did such a shoddy thing find its way into the presents for the heir of lotus pier? until, he sees JC smile.
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prompt for @/tinybingy
jc trying to make yanli’s lotus rib soup for young jin ling, having some sort of breakdown over it bc its not the same and he can’t do it but jin ling eats it anyways and without meaning to makes jc feel a lot better about it all
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