#Its hard for me to care about stuff in general?
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congrats on 100 omg !!!! may i please order a sickly sweet sprinkle sundae? <3 your vibe is simply incredible
❝ THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER、 @bunn3333s .ᐟ ⟡ HERE IS YOUR RECEIPT FROM CAFÉ YUME ⟡
𐙚SICKLY SWEET SPRINKLE SUNDAE：sickly sweet it makes you throw up!
𐙚 dish desc。．a not so romantic dinner sunday made for you after you tried running away.
．。𝜗𝜚 labels。 general yandere themes, manipulation, filthy, mentions of aphrodisiacs, no i promise i write for other characters too, heavy brainrot, MINORS DNI
．。𝜗𝜚 ingredients。sunday
WAS HE ANGRY?
it was hard to tell by the way SUNDAY smiles at you with eyes hollow like shells, gesturing for you to take a seat at the lavish dinner table. your fiancé, although more of a forced engagement, was undoubtedly a good cook. the dishes set across the spacious wooden table cloaked with heavenly silk were straight from a 5-star course meal at the Reverie, each one tingling your nostrils with an exquisitely savory smell.
the situation might have been very flattering if you haven’t tried to run away from him moments ago.
“please, take a seat. i made it just for you, you know.” he laughs shortly at your hesitance, but his eyes pierce through you, like a predator waiting for its prey.
you feel your heart thud against your chest as you sit down tentatively- the scrape of the chair only scratching your nerves even more. although the scent around you tempted your stomach, your mouth felt paradoxically dry and you felt like throwing up. you felt uncomfortable, as if a thousand ants were crawling over your skin by his stare that never once leaves you.
“you deserve to eat,” he breaks your discomfort with a gentle hand that guides your own to the silver utensils that are far too expensive for you. “you’ve been such a good girl.”
the way he says it tells you he doesn’t think that at all. but how can you possibly deny him, when you’ve already done it once? you should be grateful he’s even allowing you to eat.
but as the steak reaches your lips, you feel a sudden churn in your throat that tells you you really shouldn’t eat it. sunday taps you with the other hand on your shoulder- a subtle warning, but when you don’t do as he says, he sighs in condescension and pries your mouth open to force it in, caring little about the way your saliva stains his pristine gloves.
the meat surprisingly melts on your tongue like heaven- it’s juicy and just so right. it’s the most perfect bite of meat you’ve ever tasted, which shows on your surprised expression which makes your fiancé scold you—
“what did i tell you, dear? I didn’t put anything in there. this indeed says something about how little you trust me.”
and when he removes his and from yours, telling you that he’s not going to cook anymore- you beg him that you’re sorry for mistrusting him. oh, what a sin you’ve committed— how dare you even doubt sunday, who always showers you with such love you don’t deserve after your attempt to run?
he pretends to give in to your pretty pleas when you hug him while sobbing about how delicious it is, all the while telling you that you’re such a stupid little dove he has to teach constantly until she learns he manners.
little do you know, the meat you’re chewing has an oddly sweet aftertaste. the more sunday feeds you with his hand over your own, subtly coaxing you to eat the entire thing, all the while making you think it’s your own choice to eat it, the more your brain fuzzes, your vision blurry, slowly drowning your own coherent thoughts with such a primal need that builds itself to the surface, a desire that morphs into a cacophony in your head that chants that you need him so badly.
and he’ll drag out the drugged thoughts of yours, acting as if you’re the one who badly wants him to bury in his thick cock inside you- when in reality, sunday is the one who desires it so bad. he’s wanted to stuff you full with his own cum- make you his, trapping you with his children since the day he’s laid eyes on you, but a true manipulator always plays the longer game, and he was willing to wait.
now, his long-awaited fantasies are fulfilled as he watches your hole gushing around his cock, whimpering his name as you clutch the sheets- pretty bite marks decorating every nook and cranny. and fuck, oh it makes him feel like he’s finally flown to his desired heaven. he feels complete.
he feels like his twisted paradise is near.
#𐙚．。articles#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail smut#sunday x reader#hsr smut#honkai star rail yandere#sunday smut#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x you#hsr x reader#yandere hsr#yandere sunday#yandere hsr x reader
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Greetings Factual! I just realized I completely forgot to congratulate you in my last Ask- so although it's a tad late, allow me to say, great job getting to yet another milestone in the form of 27,000 followers! As I've said before, you deserve every single one and more- your works, both big and small, make bad days brighter and good days even better! I've especially enjoyed the pixel art gags these past few days- "human sans" and "Bingus" in particular- and it seems like many others have too- at this rate, 30,000 is just a few steps away! Almost their!
Also, thanks a million for responding so kindly to my idea regarding the gangs reunion with patty and meeting with Baragara! I'm glad you like it, and regardless of what details you decide on, I just hope we get to see the moment illustrated some day, as emotional as it is epic!
As for my actual Ask today- I was wondering about Grimaces Gigantamax status. As you probably know, some Pokemon species, including Gengar, can take mega evolution to the next level and temporarily grow to Kaiju sizes when exposed to certain types of legendary energy. However, of the 26 compatible species, not all members have the genes necessary to do so. So, even though he is unlikely to be exposed to the energy required to Gigantamax, if he was, would Grimace be among the lucky few of his kind to react? Or does he lack the Gigantamax genes- which, if he does, certainly wouldn't make him any less awesome!
Oh, and also, small goofy side ask I just thought of- since the group usually seems to sleep together, do any of its six ( later eight ) members snore? And if so, have the others grown accustomed to the noise? Or do they "throw a pillow at the problem" so to speak?
(27,000 followers) (Human sans) (Bingus)
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD I'm glad to hear that you've been liking my pixel stuff!! :DDD
As for the Baragara ask, awe! No problem!! :D I've been thinking about his story and how I would draw it.. it just seems like a hefty project to take on in my current state.. <XD
Now hmm.. Gigantimaxing.. Funnily enough the discord server an I actually talked about Grimace potentially Gigantimaxing or mega evolving. You know, for angst reasons XD But the general take away I got is it would requite too specific of an environment and situation for him to mega evolve on accident. If mega evolving on accident is even possible- (I say accident because the group are not intended to know what megastones are or how they work. So its not like Grimace could mega evolve intentionally-)
Gigantimaxing had a similar problem. Requiring too specific of an environment/situation for him to Gigantimax unintentionally. They're not in/from the Galar region, so they don't have access the things needed to Gigantimax.. and since Grimace isn't from Galar, I thought it would stand to reason that he wouldn't have the gigantimax genes..(do only galar region pokemon have the genes..?)
And even if they were in Galar and Grimace had the genes, Gloria would be a roadblock.
If they found like.. a gigantimax den.? She would surly sense the powerful aura and be sketched out. Thus steering the group away. And since Gloria has never steered them wrong before.. no body would disobey her.
It kind'a sucks that I cant find a way for these two scenarios to work out! 😭 I had a lot of fun imagining Grimace mega evolving in a panic to protect the group and then needing Sylvester to talk him down. But needing a megastone, and a keystone..? And somehow having Gloria not get sussed out by the stones powerful aura and not taking it away from Grimace just seems pretty far fetched. Darn you Gloria for being so observant and caring for your friends. 😔
I'm open to ideas of how I can make either idea less specific and more possible though.. 👀👀
As for your last ask, I'd like to say that thankfully none of them snore <XD it would be pretty hard to stay hidden in the forest if you snore!
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insane to me that the jrwi boys have stopped posting any free content??? like???????????? fans who dont want to pay will loose interest and fans who dont care for the new content will stop paying? it is a lose lose????? would it kill them to post the suckening to youtube or whatever????????? it just makes no sense to me
Especially now with the hiatus! It's so fucking greedy imo, making it so that the only way your fans can access 99% of your content be by paying while saying its just "bonus optional content" is REALLY weird, I get that they need to make a living, but they can use the patreon for stuff like the rolled, exclusive art, SOME exclusive campaigns etc. But alienating the majority of your audience because they aren't willing to pay is really stupid and I think we all know how it generally goes (the watcher thing was litrally like a month ago) Not to mention that it makes the patreon seem worth less to the people paying, they are basically just paying for stuff they previously got for free! And I've seen fans being less interested in jrwi because of it! My self included! I love the charecters, stories, and fandom, and I've loved them for years, but i find myself having a hard time actually watching the show due to this. Sorry for the incoherent rant, it's something I've been thinking about a lot for a long time, I know this isn't the most put together thing out there, but whatever, lmao
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[ask b4 reposting]
ais + japanese culture
insert guy deranged in front of corkboard image. so many feelings about him.
EDIT: THINGS I FORGOT TO MENTION
-the spider lilies on his enamel pin (associated with death in japan)
-red makeup at the outer corners of his eyes (this is a whole thing in traditional japanese makeup, geisha and kabuki makeup styles both commonly have it if you want to look more into it)
#touchstarved game#ais#shitbox meta#LIKE UHHHHH CAN I GET A MCFUCKIN UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#ais stans pspspspspsp come get yalls juice please i want people to care about ths#my brain is decaying rn so excuse the . hard to words. geisha & kabuki stuff r both performance arts &&the makeup looks r part of that..#my point is that it's a Thing. AND REALLY FUCKING HARD TO FIND ON GOOGLE SEARCH.#second generation diaspora moment i have such a relationship with japanese culture.#stuff that is me but stuff i learn about as an outsider. its a whole fucking thing. woe ais hold my hand as i explore this upon ye
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idk what ramadan is gonna look like for me this year lol
#z.gen#i try to be more on my deen and i will do it this year#like hitting all of my prayers when i normally hit like 3/5 etc#no substances which fluctuates yearly since being calisober is what got me off other drugs but should be fine this yr#a lot of people wont listen to music either but i honestly dont listen to it much during the day regardless#having a very night time schedule is helpful during ramadan#i think im gonna try and focus on establishing all of my prayers#i dont really care to talk about my faith much cause its so genuinely no ones business#but i am muslim i just dont follow the practices of any of the four major sunni schools strongly for other reasons#im not shia either tho... looking#none of it matters rn cause i cant fast anyway LOL but its okay#its just like. kind of hard to celebrate islam with whats going on in palestine#like a lot of my fellow muslims get really obsessed w the aesthetics#but the month is about refraining from worldly desires and practing restraint and is generally anti consumerism#so its like. idk if i care for fun silly ramadan recipes. im gonna try to organize stuff with my mosque again inshallah
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neku sakuraba was right. being nice sucks 😔
#I KNOW ITS WORTH IT AS A GENERAL RULE#but this time it wasn't and i'm having a hard time dealing with it#but if Neku can recover from that so can i#it just sucks though. i wish i could be selfish#it would be so much easier#realizing that your bad self-esteem was wrong and you're not selfish for just existing makes you realize a lot of other issues#among those issues are that people you trust are in fact the selfish ones and you're suffering from their decisions#realizing that you've been wronged and hurt by people you cared about is actually worse than thinking everything is your fault tbh#because I can't do anything about that. at least before I could try to do stuff and change myself to please other's whims#even though that wasn't a good idea ^^"#but now i can't do it. and since i'm nice i can't try to hurt back the ones who hurt me. so im just sitting there. playing pokemon#vent#personal
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idk maybe talking about my writing seems conceited for who hasn't published much of anything and hasn't finished anything as of yet, or maybe all this hand wringing is annoying, but i've written a lot of bits and pieces over the years and it's enough for me to be reasonably comfortable with the basics, you know? but working on something this long is presenting a whole other world of trouble for me and i think i accidentally put a hell of a lot more of myself into it than i meant to. so i'm feeling particularly vulnerable about it being out there and existing. it means a lot to me and that's scary!
#i know i wasn't anywhere near as annoying about publishing light headeds first chapter#obviously i cared about it and i was excited to publish something for the first time in this fandom (wow! i did it!) but its not a big deal#there are no major unknowns with it as a project. i will continue it just couldn't make up my mind about one specific thing#so now the rest of the chapters are on hold while i focus on i&i for a while#i could probably polish up and publish more of my drabbles but its mostly pretty dumb and generic aus that arent saying much of anything#maybe thats being pretentious but i want to say something with my work and like. if it's not meeting my own standards i'm not putting it ou#sorry for all the rambling. i needed to work through some stuff and talking helps#i've always had a contentious relationship with my work which is why you don't see much of it. because it's not good enough#this project is my main creative outlet right now because carpal tunnel and my work schedule have fucked up everything else for me#and like. to be honest i kind of want to destroy it. because it means something to me and it's hard and that's scary#it didn't have someone else's work attached i probably would have deleted it by now#that's a weird place to be with a creative project#anyway if you want to read my dumb bro/grandpa superhero au that started out a gag and quickly devolved into tragedy then let me know ig
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on the topic of exocolonist characterization stuff i like probably one of my absolute faves is this really really small thing from vace.... during his 50 event he asks if u’d wanna go into space one day and no matter what u say he agrees w/u. like if ur like “no way” he goes “yeah me neither im a soldier ill stay” but if u go “yeah!” he goes on and on agreeing its v fun... i really like that aspect of his character
#vace is such a fun Character to me#i think hes so fascinating and he really embodies a lot of the game adn the point of the game for me#you can love vace and help him be a better person and watch him grow from this genuinely pretty toxic guy to like#this family man who cares abt his kids and tries really hard to keep vertumna safe#adn then u will still die. and he will be who he was before. but that doesnt change that what u did mattered#really thats why i like exocolonist so much in general#its not abt the changes u make bc in the end theres something kind of like.... pointless? about it?#and yet paradoxically that pointlessness is the point#sol goes on and on and on around and around#and they do it as an active choice its what they Want#sol is full of love for the world and their friends and its so clear thats what motivates them u kno#and so they go again and again and again and it doesnt matter what they do in any given loop#bc they will have always done it and will always be doing it and will have never done it!#and yet it matters. it matters! i love that#personal#i was a teenage exocolonist spoilers#teenexo stuff#besties worsties killing each other in unarmed combat etc etc
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO????#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that t#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to get#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible care#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans a#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t w#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see t#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel a#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing aw#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH!#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AUG
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ah a video of someone reacting to touhou music for the first time, let me check the comments-
this comment does seem pretty jokingly written but still :(
#like you got the touhou characters have no lore/personality and its all made up by the fandom#very brutal bullet hell theyre not that bad and are honestly fairly accessible... like ive never played many bullet hell games before but#touhou was not that hard to get into#it took a while to get a normal 1cc but like especially with newer games that are pretty generous with continues and stuff yknow#yeah seeing this comment on a reacting to touhou music video it just got to me#i dont like when touhou is introduced like this to someone..#its a stupid thing to care about but it makes me sad to see people completely disregarding the actual effort put into story and characters#like yeah the stories are nothing crazy or revolutionary and the characters arent the most crazy complex deep characters in video games but#im rambling on and on but yeah it just bothers me a lot#i care a bit too much about this stuff honestly
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the thing abt being in a minority group and caring abt people who arent in that group is that it is godamm exhausting sometimes.
#like. sometimes they just say or do shit that like. is insensitive but they dont fully process or realize why or how#and u know they dont mean any ill will esp to you and would most likely listen to you and take u seriously if u explained that#but just like. its a difficult dialogue to open up !!! esp with someone you care about#and being aware of those societal like. privileges and stuff within ur relationship with someone someone suddenly doesnt feel good yk#like its weird to think this is someone you care about a lot and who cares about you a lot but suddenly theres this thing of doing smth#insensitive and its hurting you somewhat and you not knowing what to do abt that or if that feeling is even reasonable#and sometimes the response to bringing it up is just intense okay ill never do that specific thing guilt without any examination#of why its upsetting to u and that just makes u feel guilty bc u dont want overly apologetic-ness u just wanna start a dialogue#idk !! its just weird man#tbh this is kinda a vague post but kinda a vaugepost abt multiple things and its also just generally true#so that makes it not a vuagepost anymore 👍🏽#flappy rambles#i promiseee i will try to bring it up with ppl when shit like this happens btw i just need to like. work on not feeling guilty abt saying#tht smth has upset me. which is hard !! and also sometimes i feel like it shldnt b on me to bring it up#ppl shld jsut not do insensitive shit !! but thats also complicated yk. idk theres nuances yk.
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im only gonna say this once bc i dont want to be a boring bastard (even though this is my blog and i can do whatever the hell i want sdnkgjds) but man i just. i really dont care about halloween man
#idk man just. my ability to care about it is at a big fat zero#it has for a very long time#sure i liked getting sweets as a kid. and i like getting sweets now!#but everythinng else about the holiday has always goenover my head#i dont care about costumes or spooky stuff really so im just functionally unable to understand the hype#its just a vibe and aesthetic i;ve never cared about#like...its like watching people have this amazig party and a good time and dancig around except you cant hear the music#so ur just there like [looks around awkwardly]#especially since tumblr goes so hard about it#like im glad people have fun with it but also there's always a small part of me thats baffled and unable to understand#my family's never really been a celebration type in general i suppose#sure we'd visit grandparents on christmas and do up the house and pull cheap wizard crackers#but even then its really just about the presents for us. about having time off and stuffing face with chocolate#we dont carol or do up the outside of the house or out on christmas muic#and thats us at our most [leans into a holiday]#so halloween is just another day man#maybe if it was a day that we actully had off every year i would have cared more#luke rambles
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@ people who only ever like stuff and don't reblog but especially the people who only like art. Why are you here???
#In general spam liking doens’t bug me. It's spam liking with no reblogs at all or only liking the art I've reblogged form other people.#like you know you can just follow the artist or the ship tag right. thats an option.#im on the second day of a headache and I'm in a mood#i dont reblog as much as I'd like to but thats because I dont leave my self time to read.#I'll probably deleat this in the morning#usually its whatever but more and mor elately the lack of reblogging is just annoying me.#it doenst even have to be my stuff. jsut eeblog peoples stuff in general if you got some enjoyment out of it.#this is obviously a rhetorical question#i do not care about your answer#look I know im not like well liked or anything in my corner of the internet but this isnt just about my stuff#people are so talented and they work so hard on their stuff. so i dont care if it’s not part of your astetich or whatever.#honestly blogs devoid of fandome contebt especially fan made content are so fucking boring.#give a reblog to that prett are and those pretty words you like.#as a creator I know how mcuh it sucks when people dont reblog stuff. so try nto sucking and go reblog that raunchy art or story you read#your on tumblr it's fucking encouraged.
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by the way i doubt anyone remembers me mentioning writing a video about steven universe future, wanting to analyze stevens mental health and stuff in it. i mean, ive had the first draft written since BEFORE i even made that post but im just having a hard time writing/editing it. it just means a lot to me and im finding it hard to get the script to where it feels right. i cant really promise anything but at the very least its not nothing
#my post#su#i mean its hard for me to explain things in general and then on top of that you bring in not only my care about mental health#but also the fact that i personally relate to steven in future. AND that ive followed that franchise since day 1#maybe im putting a lot of pressure on myself about it but. at the very least i want it to feel cohesive but it just doesnt#i dont know how to lol. wish i could ask someone to help me with it but like#i wrote a lot of personal stuff in that doc and idk i just. ugh#ive never had anyone help me with creative projects ever. idk how i would even do that!#i mean even when i was younger and made ocs with people and stuff it was more like. 'lets make our characters seperately and then#put them in the same universe together and make it work somehow'. not exactly a deep collaboration
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This isn’t funny like most of my story posts but enough people have asked some for my opinions about lubricants and general tips that I figured I’d do a little master post about it.
I’m not a doctor! I just worked in a sex shop for several years and picked up a bunch of helpful nuggets, here they are.
All the links will be funny stories though, if you’re looking for a laugh.
Lubricants:
Silicone
Silicone Lube Pros: This stuff is the energizer bunny of lubricant. A very small amount goes a really long way and cannot be absorbed into the body. For anal, those experiencing vaginal dryness, or just really good penetrative sex between partners silicone is wonderful. Silicone is also extremely inert and by itself cannot cause yeast infections or allergic reactions*. Doesn’t taste or smell of anything.
*Some manufactures may add things to silicone to cut costs that could negatively impact genitals, read ingredients.
Silicone Lube Cons: Not safe with toys. Silicone lube can bond to silicone toys, this is basically always terrible. Because of its nature it can be very difficult to clean up, rags might be necessary as water will not help you much. This lubricant can feel very thin to some people who might prefer a more substantial feel. Also it can stain clothes or bedding in large quantities so having a dedicated sex blanket or towel can save sheets.
Favorite Brand: Pjur. Spendier but best overall feeling to me, nice and silky and a single bottle will last ages.
Water Based
Water Based Pros: This lube is the work horse and skeleton key of lube. If you never want to worry about what bottle you reach for, water based always has your back. It’s safe with toys, condoms, you name it. It comes in a variety of thicknesses and viscosity, there’s truly a water based lube for every preference.
Water Based Cons: Tragically, we are made of water. Human bodies love to absorb the water part of this equation, meaning it needs to be reapplied more frequently. For certain activities or bodies it’s nicer to have a lube that doesn’t need quite so much reapplication. Additionally you have to be careful of what ingredients* get added, many cost saving ones are a yeast infection in a bottle.
*Never use Astroglide, KY, or Vaseline, they bank on brand recognition and make the shittiest lube in feel, performance, and body safety. Glycerin or glycol is always a red flag ingredient for vaginal use.
Favorite Brand: Earthly bodies WaterSlide. There are So Many water based options that it’s hard to pick. This was my go to because it has a pretty okay feel but its ingredients list is short and to the point with nothing offensive like glycol to watch out for. It rehydrates very nicely if you lick it, it doesn’t throw off vaginal pH, and it’s inexpensive and easy to get. Even Walmart has it.
Hybrid
Hybrid Lube Pros: As the name suggests this is like silicone and water based had a baby. This lubricant has more body than a traditional silicone while being much more long lasting than a water based on its own. It cleans up easier than silicone and is still a good option for any type of sex except toys.
Hybrid Lube Cons: Still not safe to use with toys. That’s basically it. It’s pretty great.
Favorite Brand: Sliquid. I love their hybrid, it feels very nice with more substance than a silicone on its own and they’re a very nice brand overall in every category.
Oil Based
Oil Based Pros: Oil based is almost always on hand in either olive or coconut oil, it’s second only to silicone in butt stuff territory and some people prefer oil. Like the Roman Empire, which, I can’t blame them. Tastes and smells pretty nice.
Oil based Cons: Cannot be used with condoms. Kind of a big deal! Using condoms with anal is still a good idea but oil based lost favor when it turned out it destroys the most common modern prophylactic. Additionally oil can mess with vaginal pH. Anecdotally I’ve had people tell me it was infection after infection and others who only ever used oil. Similar to silicone, tough to clean up.
Favorite Brand: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve never had personal experience with them and I don’t know which way to steer you, sorry. Messing with condoms mean that this lube has struggled commercially.
More Below, just don’t want this getting too long. (Also in case I need to add to this it’ll keep current version circulating if this blows up.)
Notable mentions for lube:
Spermicidal lube: Truly terrible for you. It causes micro tears and irritation which open you up to more disease and infections, besides which it tastes repulsive and is not a very effective preventative. Just don’t.
Flavored lube: I really don’t recommend this? Good lube doesn’t taste like anything, I don’t see that this needs to exist. Vaginas do not like anything sugary in them, which all flavored lubes are by nature. For health reasons it’s extremely Inadvisable to eat out butts without protection. If you must use flavored lube on a vagina haver try to focus it on the clit and not internally.
Condoms:
Condoms come pre-lubricated but did you know: Most condom tearing is the result of insufficient lube inside the condom? For safer sex put a few extra drops of lube inside the condom to increase sensation and decrease risk of tearing
Don’t store them in your wallet. Your body heat will break down the condom much quicker than storing in a drawer. If you’re going to carry one grab it fresh for a date.
Condoms stretch but they need to be tight at the base. Tight however doesn’t meet cutting off circulation. That’s a cock ring. If you need to wear condoms I recommend trying a few singles to see what brand feels the best for your body.
There are lambskin condoms but I don’t recommend them at all. They cannot be tested for tears, they still transmit STIs and they feel like wax paper. Polyisoprene is better in virtually every way for those with allergies.
Most people suffer from low grade latex allergies making a lot of condoms unpleasant. Latex was the first material able to be tested for structural integrity (they run a small electrical charge through it to test for breakages, neat right?). However! A new material hit the market called polyisoprene. It passes all the same safety regulations as latex while being hypoallergenic and contains much lower odor which brings me to…
Favorite Brand: Skyns. These condoms are truly excellent, smell and taste of nothing, and are just as safe as latex! The best. Really.
Anal:
Do not just stick a dick in a butt. Anal is about patience and many people have an awful first time. I cannot count the number of men who came in to ask, “How do I convince my girlfriend to do anal?” No. Start small, little plugs or fingers, and work your way up. Make sure things are relaxed and very very very like so very lubricated.
Do not. Ever. Numb your ass. Many products try to sell you on numbing your butt for anal. This is how emergency room trips happen. You need to listen to your butt, numbing it is how tearing happens.
Don’t rip out anal beads. I feel like it should be clear why ripping anything out of your body like you’re trying to start a chainsaw is a mistake but it bears repeating.
Butts. Will. Consume. Do not ever insert anything into your ass that doesn’t have a flared base. A flared base should have a perpendicular width of two inches to be safe. Don’t end up an ER horror story.
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Rambling about Astarion bc im bored at work.
I like Astarion because I think he is a genius take on The Evil RPG Companion, and is an especially great take on The Fixable Bad Guy. I don't think hes evil, but I do think Astarion is a genuinely bad person at the beginning, and I think Astarion is only drawn away from being a bad person - and experiences a great redemption arc - via active intervention from others. Astarion would not redeem himself without guidance; he is absolutely bent toward self destruction and evil at the beginning of the story.
I think comparing him with Shadowheart is what drew me to that conclusion. If you are nice to Shadowheart, as in you talk to her and respect her boundaries and do stuff she generally agrees with, she will choose to free Nightsong all on her own. You don't need to roll to convince her at all, or romance her or even push back on her Shar worship that much. You just leave it up to her, and she chooses that path. (Side note, what brilliant writing.)
Astarion is not like that at all. Even if you were tight as fuck he would not choose the good option, with no input, in Act 2. Astarion, like all the companions, needs help and connection to reach healthy actualization, but I think its great, resonant writing that Astarion needs the most active intervention of all. Because he's had his autonomy so completely taken away from him, he simply doesn't know how to use it anymore. He doesn't know how to connect with other people anymore. He's someone that's learned to enjoy cruelty, to resent the pleasure of others, and to be entirely selfish for survival. It makes sense that he must be dragged back into being capable of trust. He needs to be forced to be part of a community again; caring about things; allowing for vulnerability and optimism.
And like. How fucking smart is it to have THIS guy in THIS game. Because of the tadpole and the existential threat they're up against, he is actually forced to work with you. This kind of character is so hard to do in most RPGs because its like... why wouldn't he just betray you all and leave? Why would he stick with you? The tadpole clears all of that up. Astarion must stick with you or hes lost and dead. Astarion knows that you and the other companions are collectively stronger than him, so he can't betray you. He is forced to rely on you by default.
This is also what makes him SUCH a good version of the "you can fix him" romance; you are almost never the direct target of Astarion's bastardry because he can't fuck with you. The problem with Fix Him's is that usually they are a threat to the romantic lead, and fixing him requires enduring, soothing and forgiving the worst of his badness as some kind of test of loyalty, hopefully proving to him that being bad isn't necessary (toxic shit). But Astarion... can't do that. He is afraid to actually fuck you over because you are directly tied to his survival, and because you quickly show yourself to be more capable than him. He cannot have real power over you. (Until he's ascended, then he becomes the absolute worst version of the fix-it.)
I do think the trade off is that Astarion not directing his bastardry at you makes it easier to Ignore that Astarion is A Bad Guy, but I think that'd happen even if he was more of an asshole to you, so who cares. I think he's got the best written Redeemable Evil RPG Companion arch I've seen honestly. I love that he's so fun while being so tragic, whether redeemed or not.
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