#In my headcanon Gerald loves his wife
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Mama y papa,,, mama,, y papa
#my art#fan art#south park#sheila broflovski#sp sheila#gerald broflovski#sp gerald#In my headcanon Gerald loves his wife#90% of my art has become Sheila and that's good#You can find the full version of this drawing in a few weeks when I convince myself to open an ns4t Twitter
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Kyle Broflovski headcanons!
[sfw+nsfw] (fem reader)
loves cuddling and i mean he LOVES it
will not let you go unless you ask to go to the bathroom or to the kitchen for a drink
he taught himself how to braid hair because he knows how you hate it in your face when you’re working
band nerds together 💋
he plays Trumpet or Tuba whichever he wants to play
extremely talented in school, he is the top in his class
he thinks it’s cute when you ask for help on your homework
is taking 3 college classes just this year, will graduate college when he graduates from high school
your his #1 fan at his basketball and baseball games
his heart melts when you wear his jersey
he loves taking photos of you out of nowhere. it doesn’t matter what is happening if he thinks you look good in that lighting he is taking out his phone
he always facetimes you before bed, and sometimes ask to sleep on call
he snores but not too loud you can definitely hear it when your next to him
hates when Cartman talks too you or any guy in fact
he hates Clyde because he knows you guys were taking before you and him got together
only except is Stan
you, Kyle, Stan and Wendy go in double dates sometimes, only if they are together in the moment
doesn’t hate pda but won’t make out with you in public
he will hold your hand, kiss your four head and whisper reassuring words to you if your feeling stressed
he will walk you to your classes then sprint to his class
loves when you wear his hoodies or shirts
his shirts are like dresses on you
he is 6’4
finds it so cute when you get on your top toes too grab something or look over someone
always puts his hands on your shoulders or waist when standing behind you
is extremely protective of you
he will fight anyone that shits on your name
if a guy makes a move on you then it’s over
he will verbally abuse that guy or if he really feels bitchy he will swing
loves too show you off to everyone
“who is that girl? she is really pretty”
“excuse me that’s my girlfriend please don’t look at her”
his dad automatically loved you when he first met you
his mom took a little bit to really except you but when he did she would do anything for you
you guys celebrate Hanukkah together
Ike teaches you the Dreidel song
Shelia loves too show you the photo albums
Kyle doesn’t mind the baby photos but he will go crazy if she shows off the pictures of him in middle school
Gerald always asks if Kyle is being nice to you just in case 
Ike loves you also, he also has a crush on you but don’t tell Kyle!
Kyle has kinda picked up that Ike likes you
they will stare each other down
“dude you need to leave she doesn’t want to hang out with you!”
“shut up Kyle we all know i’m the better looking brother!”
“oh really?, hey Ike KICK THE BABY!”
he loves when you play with him or just hang out watching Terrence and Phillip
Kyle sees you as his future wife
he wants too give you the world
he calls you Mrs. Broflovski
he is your personal uber driver
absolutely LOVES taking you out on fancy dates because he loves to see you all dressed up
“aww baby you look so good!”
he finds your perfume heavenly
will always find a reason too be next too you
he was so scared when you told him you had your period for the first time
went on a google deep dive on how to take care of periods and how they really happen
was a little grossed out at first but realized you were in pain
always has a heating pack around for you
will give you all the snuggles and kisses in the world
will do anything for you if you needed it
“are you feeling any better baby?”
“not really can you rub my back?”
“of course, i love you”
“i love you too”
NSFW!!
loves the feeling of your skin on his, will ask to cuddle naked all the time
low key asked Kenny for advice
love’s praising you
“god baby your so beautiful”
“you’re such a good girl”
“you’re all mine”
was horrified of hurting you when you first had s*x
took a lot of convincing for him too smack your ass or go harder
loves the noises you make, goes crazy for you’re whimpers
will look into your eyes
he loves bondage not crazy but he likes your hands bonded
orgasm control!!!
he loves when you beg
loves when you melt into his touch
he loves to pleasure you, he finds pleasure in it for himself
love love LOVES your boobs
he will always make you cûm before he does he wants you to be satisfied
he loves to overstimulate you, he finds it so attractive when your a mumbling mess
7 1/2 inches
his body is slim but has definition, he has great biceps and quads
his ass is great also
his hands are HUGE
he surprisingly lasts a long time, 16 minutes on average
always a second round or if not then he will go down on you after
has crazy stamina
you were his first time
loves to kiss your face in missionary and pinch your nipples
AFTERCARE GOD!
will cuddle you for hours to make sure you are ok
will clean up later, only you matter in the moment
will get you water and tell you how amazing you were
will rub your back and kiss you so so much
he likes to say making love instead of s*x because he sees it as more then that. it’s so important too him
#kyle broflovski#south park#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman#stan marsh#kenny mccormick#south park headcanons
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Do you have any headcanons for Kyle as a dad?
Yes!! (this is kinda for the whole broflovski family mb)
As soon as he found out his wife was pregnant, he did everything he could to read up on it.
He was in his late twenties when it happened. He wanted to be out of college and have a stable income before having a kid
He cried when he found out-
Hes normally not that emotional and it’s kinda hard to make him cry, but any of the kid’s firsts, prepare for lots of crying
He’s the kind of dad to want to take as many pictures with them as possible. He can be very sentimental at times, even if he’s not one to admit it
He thinks gender reveal parties are lame but if his wife wanted to do one he’s not gonna say no
He would want it to be a surprise though
Omg Sheila would knit sweaters for the baby, she’s so happy to be a grandma!!
Because Kyle doesn’t want to know the gender she usually knits purple clothes as to not give the gender away
Gerald is really supportive as well!
Gerald would so take the kid(s) on aquarium outings
Gerald is not as much of a pushover as Sheila when it comes to the gift shop tho lol
(back to kyle-) He doesn’t have a preference. He just wants to be a good and loving father.
I feel like he would want three kids? He wouldn’t want only one but he doesn’t want a football geam, y’know?
Hes very insistent on doing almost everything while his wife is pregnant and even for the first few months after the baby
Once his wife’s water breaks, he absolutely speeds to the hospital. Kyley-B almost made a few appearances on the road 🫢
As soon as he sees the baby he bursts into tears
Especially when the baby grabs onto his hand
If it’s a boy the middle name will likely be Stanley (Crediting the anon form my last Kyle headcanons post who gave this headcanon, so if that anon wants to come forward so i can give actual credits that would be great! If not know you’re appreciated anon <3)
If its a girl the middle name would be Sheila (mamas boyyyy)
If he’s in an interfaith relationship he allows the kids to pick which religion they wanna follow when they feel ready
He enjoys bonding with the kids and telling them about their Jewish heritage
His favorite thing is playing dreidel with his kids, though he lets them win (he’s not a fan of gelt)
He likes singing to his kids sometimes even if he is not very good at it
Hes like his mama. Hes nurturing, he’s living, but god ALMIGHTY is he overprotective
He just wants to do what he thinks is right for the kids
He gives them a lot of freedom though. He doesn’t want them to feel confined or anything
He’s goes to every one of his kids events and wouldn’t miss their birthdays for the world
He’s not very harsh with punishments. Usually the punishments are taking away a toy or an electronic but he doesn’t do anything violent
He doesn’t even yell that much. He lectures though
His kids will sometimes just give him their phones as soon as he gets home from work so they don’t have to sit for an hour long lecture
Ike loves being an uncle. Though he plays with Kyle sometimes and pretends to “kick the baby” a lot
Overall very supportive and loving dad, 10/10
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Meet Hallie, Tina's best friend from high school and still is friends
Hallie is an exchange student from Russia, she have a heavy accent.
(Voice claim: Abbey Bominable from Monster High G1)
She didn't have many friends since she was new, and her voice throws people off when she speaks.
I headcanon that Tina didn't have many friends or any during high school since her parents wanted her to succeed in life and make her study 24/7 a lot of times. (I will post my version of Tina's parents and her siblings)
Tina saw Hallie and asked her to be her friend since they were both outcasts.
Hallie actually helped Gerald to confess his love to Tina by telling him her favorite food, drink, place, flower, etc. She is a bit of an odd ball, but Tina likes that about her friend.
She has a pet ferret named shells and a baby alligator named choppers.
Hallie runs a flower café that people can come to rest and relax from life.
Hallie is lesbian and has a wife named Mabel.
Hallie is a good friend to Tina and helps her out.
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my thoughts/headcanons on Scout’s family- his grandparents (on his ma’s side), Ma, and his brothers (I also hc that he has a bunch of aunts and uncles and even more cousins, his family tree’s almost as big as Engie’s, but I don’t feel like going over all of them jshd)
Grandpa Gerald
grew up a city boy and was a mercenary, a job took him way down south where he met his wife
well educated, surprisingly slow and thoughtful for how fast and busy his birth city was- at least in careful situations. in normal/casual conversation he’s got quick wit and a faster tongue
can be a little harsh if he disapproves of what you’re doing (whether it’s long term or at the moment), but is generally a very sweet and caring man
doesn’t mean he won’t hesitate to kill a bitch- don’t think that retirement made him soft
Mamaw Josephine
southern
everyone calls her Jo, whether it’s Missus Jo or Mamaw Jo or whatever
helped out Gerald with his jobs in whatever way she could
SO loving and sweet 🥺🥺 whenever she visits Scout’s immediate family or they visit her she cooks a giant breakfast and makes them all gifts. she does her best to spend equal amounts of time with all her kids and grandkids
1000% the grandma who pinches your cheeks and tells you how you’re getting so big with the softest most loving look in her eyes and offers a candy to literally everyone she meets
Jennifer
Ma !
most everyone calls her Jenny
sweet and loving, but also very sassy
was never a mercenary herself but can absolutely kill
taught Scout and all his brothers how to defend themselves with their fists and blunt objects
treats all her sons’ friends like kids of her own
remembers the birthday of every. single. person. in her ginormous family and ALWAYS mails at *least* a card, if not a small gift
a lot of her affection towards her kids (and by extension their friends) is typical southern kinds of affection
**for the brothers I’m just gonna give names, listed oldest to youngest:
Johnathan (John), Jackson (Jack), Jason, Jordan, Joshua (Josh), Julian, Joey Andrew (Andrew being a middle name), and ofc Jeremy
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Hfjdjdjdjdujfjfjf love you headcanon. Could u elaborate more on cashier!Dami? Do his coworkers actively ship him and Jon? Place bets on when they would get together, perhaps?
YES OF COURSE
• this might like mess up a few other hcs I had but this is an official one
• his Friday work schedule: 3pm-11pm. he gets off school at 2:30pm
• saturday: 7am-11am.
• Sunday: 1pm-5pm
• he has a shorter schedule during the weekends to get other homework done, but a longer one on Friday because. he’s an overachiever. but in the future, he ends up quitting the Sunday shift because school gets harder
• did I ever mention their ages? if not, they are juniors, so 16
• Friday nights he’s normally alone and closes up giant beagle, but sometimes he has this old guy name gerald. he’s a sweet old man who likes to make TikToks with damian. he’s. a cool grandpa
• michelle.. the manager. she is.. something else. she has that Olivia rodrigo sour aesthetic going on. she is just. different
• there is also rosa, a single mom who is totally having a crush on another work, brad ( Damian snorted the first time he heard rhe name ) she is a nice lady, won’t really take shit from anyone
• fucking brad. where do I BEGIN? this man is a grade-A himbo. dumbass forgot how automatic doors worked. forgot how to spell orange. he’s. he’s a good guy. okay? he’s just. he’s dumb as fuck. Damian expected an asshole, this dudes a golden retriever. Damian just saying that he needs a bodyguard, brads there. Rosa saying she needs a key, he shows up with 50 different keys. she wanted to say keychain. when you say someone is a different breed. think of him. he’s. he’s something else. he accidentally set off all the sprinklers one time because someone wanted to see how to open a firework.
• indoors.
• he’s overall a good worker.. he’s just a 26 year old guy who spent his college life drinking his way into debt, BUT! brads a recovering alcoholic, he has his 2 year chip! give it up for brad!
• those are just the workers damians familiar with, Rosa helped Damian on his first few days on the job and helped train him, brad.. is just stupid brad- the first time damian met him, brad thought that Damian was his door dash delivery guy
• brad tried to take his bookbag.
• Gerald was just a guy vibing to tiktok songs and filming damian passively aggressively on his phone until damian eventually noticed
• damians in some of his TikToks, Damian doesn’t really mind, geralds nice to him. he ( Gerald ) gave him a apple before
• but to answer the question! brad already thinks they are dating, so does Gerald. he makes TikToks saying: this is how my love life used to be before my wife went off with the Nigerian prince.
• that one went viral. it was of a video of Damian arguing with Jon while jon does cheesy jokes
• brad just- he just thinks that they are.
• rosa is rooting for them though. they do not place bets tho bc technically, in their world- they are real people- and shipping real people is a big no no. but! rosa thinks they would be cute togeyher
• damian has met Rosa’s 4 year old daughter
• giant beagle logo is a big beagle with like giant beagle wrapped around it
• it’s a chill place. minus the attempt robberies
• damians only missed a few days, jon is sad when that happens, but Damian texts him so jon won’t come
• damian doesn’t mind working there honestly
• it’s pretty chill
Brad: damian! Your boyfriends here!!!!
Damian: oh my god.
—
Gerald: * doing a TikTok dance * oh i remember being young and in love
• Gerald forgets that Damian has said that him and jon aren’t dating
• brads a idiot
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So, what happens when I decide to throw caution to the wind and mash together as many fucking Sonic Continuities as I possibly can? You get a big ass tangle of a family tree that needs to be split up into five separate images, that’s what.
It’s ugly, it’s unpolished, and I made it on a whim. Because the mental image wouldn’t leave me. And because I actually started developing this godforsaken nightmare of a family tree, born of merged continuities, headcanons, and sleep deprivation.
Now keep in mind that this thing is pure crack- it implies a world where Sonic eventually collapses from exhaustion of having to fight TWO Robotniks. It’s a mish mash of what-if’s, continuity mergers and personal ideas glued together. And I wanna stress it has nothing to directly do with my current setting- this is just like, The Path of Insanity.
Anyway, yeah. Against my better judgement I made notes for this insanity. Also, you may notice pictures of characters from other franchises being used as portraits for various characters. Those are basically faceclaims of sorts, meant as abstract representations rather than the literal idea of what they looked like... since, honestly, even I’M not cruel enough to inflict my ‘art’ on you.
Anyway, let’s get the ball rolling-
“Robotnikhotep”
-Robotnik Ancestor in ‘Mobigypt’. Was probably some big important muckity-muck.
“Julius Robotnikus”
-Probably Mobius’ answer to Caligula. His family eventually fell out of power and was forced to re-settle in what would eventually become Overland.
Ivo Kintobor
-Yeah, that whole ‘House of Ivo’ thing? This is the guy responsible. Most likely a douchenozzle, as there is a high concentration of that in the bloodline. Basically a minor warlord who unified a bunch of clans to form his own Kingdom, that was subsequently absorbed into Overland during the unification.
Brutus Kintobor
-Oh wow, a SKINNY Robotnik/Kintobor. This douche canoe attempted to conquer Angel Island for the Overland, but failed miserably. Sent back home in disgrace, a failure.
Gerald Robotnik
- Originally born Gerald Kintobor of the House of Ivo in Overland. He was more interested in science than politics, and after completing college he left that mess behind and immigrated to the United Federation. He changed his name to signify the break from his family history.
-Explored Angel Island in his youth, where he learned about Chaos Emeralds and the like from the various ruins there. He was even friends with then-guardian Janelle-Li.
-Started up Robotnik CORPS. He founded it as a way to disseminate his technology to the people of the UF and earn money to fund more experiments.
-You know the rest. The ARK, Maria, NIDS, Black Doom, Shadow, yadda-yadda-yadda.
Olga Robotnik
-Gerald’s wife. Duh.
-She met him while he lived in a spare room her father was renting out. She’d collect his rent. They grew close and eventually had kids and started a family.
-The shit this poor woman endured is amazing, but she managed to remain unbroken by it, and tried to remain close to her surviving grandchildren.
Grigory Robotnik
- The first son of Gerald. He wasn’t a genius, but he pursued a career in academics and became a doctor of physics. He had two children, Warren and Maria.
-After the ARK incident he became paranoid and accused the government of covering up what really happened. The obsession to uncover the truth destroyed his physical and mental health, and he died a shunned outcast ranting on pirated radio stations about various conspiracies.
-Died in a halfway house, but he managed to get ahold of Gerald’s diary before biting it. While he never got to use it to bring down GUN, it still paved the way for Eggman’s eventual use.
Amelia Robotnik
-Maria’s mother. After the ARK incident and the supposed death of her children, she fell into a deep depression and eventually committed suicide. In case you haven’t noticed, the story of the Robotnik family is depressing as fuck.
Warren Robotnik, ‘Warpnik’
-Maria’s brother. What a tweest!
-He was with her on the ARK, and demonstrated a similar scientific gift to his grandfather. He wasn’t close to Shadow the way Maria was.
-When the ARK was raided, he was captured and subjected to brainwashing treatments by GUN in the hopes of turning him into a loyal, in-house mad scientist. All it did was make him batshit crazy.
-He escaped some time during the Great War, and is now loose in Mobius, a lunatic geneticist fixated on continuing his grandfather’s ‘great work’... or at least his own warped perception of it.
Maria Robotnik
-You know her. You love her. Her life is a tragedy. She’s Maria! Nuff said. Years later, and she still weighs heavily on Shadow.
Ivo Kintobor
-And here is where things get a bit confusing! Ivo was born ‘Ivo Robotnik’, the second son of Gerald. Long story short, he was a douche more interested in politics and profit, and as such did not get along with his father, who bequeathed the family company to his younger brother.
-Despite this, Ivo SOMEHOW managed to reproduce. And when the ARK incident happened, he bought the government line hook line and sinker. He changed the family name back to Kintobor and moved everyone back to Overland to start anew.
-He’s like 50% responsible for Julian winding up the way he did.
-And yes- he DOES want to bulldoze the puppy orphanage to create a combination oil rig/toxic waste dump.
-Was murdered by Julian, who disguised it as an accident.
Lydia Kintobor
-ICE BABY ICE.
-Julian and Colin’s mom.
-She 100% supported her husband’s douchery, and was an active participant in tormenting her secondborn son in the hopes of ‘breaking’ him out of being a genius.
-Killed in the same ‘accident’ that took her husband’s life.
Colin Kintobor Sr.
-Born in the United Federation, but moved to the Overland as a child and grew up there.
-Major league Nationalist and Human Supremacist. Prick.
-Hated Julian basically forever and was encouraged by his parents to do so. He became their ‘golden child’ and was pushed to succeed at everything.
-Pursued a career in politics, law, and the military, and eventually served as a general in the Great War.
-Was eventually murdered by his own brother
Miriam Kintobor
-Colin’s first wife, via arranged marriage.
-She was pretty much his opposite, yet despite that fact the two came to genuinely love one another.
-Died giving birth to their son. Have I mentioned the Kintobor/Robotnik family history is a trainwreck yet?
Angela Kintobor
-The second wife of Colin. She probably met him while serving as a military functionary during the Great War. She is also the mother of Hope Kintobor.
-Other than that, I got nothin’. She likely died when Hope was young, by way of Swatbot invasion. Seriously, do NOT become a Kintobor Love Interest.
Colin “Snively” Kintobor Jr.
-You know him, you hate him! It’s the Snivster, bay-bee!
-His mother died giving birth to him. His dad blamed him for this. You can guess the rest.
-You know most of the story- crappy childhood, admired his uncle Julian, helped him take over the Kingdom of Acorn, spent a decade as his punching bag, etc etc.
-After seemingly offing Julian during Endgame, he briefly took over the Robotnik Empire.... and promptly lost it to Naugus, forcing him to flee for his life. In exchange for information about Robotropolis’ defenses, King Acorn spared his life but sentenced him to be imprisoned forever.
-Was busted out by a returned Julian so that his uncle would be able to properly ‘thank’ him for losing his empire. Helped the FFs to escape Robotnik’s revenge, and after spending time bumming around with them (and hating it) decided to throw in his lot with Crazy Uncle Ivo.
-He’s regretted it ever since... though he sticks with him because its either Ivo or Julian, and Julian will ensure his death is cruel, messy, and lingers for years to come.
Hope Kintobor
-The second child of Colin Kintobor. She was born during the later years of the Great War and spent much of her early life living in siege conditions as Overland tried and failed to stop the advancement of Robotnik.
-Eventually she witnessed the death of her father and remaining family at the hands of Robotnik before being saved by Sonic. She had an extended stay in Knothole afterwards, where she slowly learned that much of her people’s views of Mobians was innacurate.
-She eventually moved to the United Federation as a ward of GUN, serving as the technology expert for Team Dark. She is close to all of them.
-Seeks to redeem the name of her family so that it’s legacy won’t be one of bloodshed, conquest and madness. She’s got a waaaays to go, to put it mildlry.
-Despite everything she still cares about her awful, awful half-brother.
Dr. Julian Robotnik
-Had a REALLY goddamned crappy....well, life, basically. Take my word for it.
-Has basically murdered his entire immediate family by this point.
-Prior to the Great War he aided the Overlander Ministry of Conflict in toppling the legitimate government of the Kingdom of Amunopolis (Aleena’s Kingdom), forcing it’s royal family to flee to the Kingdom of Acorn and re-settle under new identities, with crown princess becoming ‘Bernadette Hedgehog’. That’s right- he’s indirectly responsible for Sonic existing.
-Blah blah blah evil experiments blah blah war crimes blah blah sentenced to be executed by Overlander government during the Great War and blah blah blah coup.
-Took over a large swathe of Mobius and expanded to conquer more, and for a time seemed like he might conquer the entire planet. The Robotnik Empire is.... not a fun place. Then or now.
-Then Sonic and the FF’s happened. Then Endgame happened, and he was... indisposed for a while, leading to his empire being diminished. While he has returned, he has suffered numerous setbacks since then, and the Robotnik Empire is now greatly diminished from its peak.
-That being said, he still rules a pretty big part of the planet, and is still the biggest danger to the world at present.
-Hates his cousin Ivo.
-REALLY goddamn hates That Hedgehog.
Laura Kintobor
-That’s Doctor Laura Kintobor (nee Ellison) to you, buster.
-She and Julian both worked as scientists with Overland’s science ministry, where they met and befriended one another. She eventually managed to coax Julian out of his shell, and their friendship bloomed into a romance, which led to the two marrying.
-She worked in the organic sciences division and was an expert on biology and zoology. In contrast to most scientists, she was very much an outdoorswoman. Even managed to convince Julian to partake.
-Much like her unfortunate sister-in-law, she died in childbirth... giving birth to a stillborn daughter.
-Yeah, this shit is grim.
Theodore Robotnik
-Third son of Gerald. Blatantly named in reference to Theodore Roosevelt, who was used as a visual reference for Eggman.
-Basically a professional beancounter who later inherited Robotnik CORPS. He chose to stick with his original name even after the ARK incident, and struggled to keep Robotnik CORPS afloat in the immediate aftermath of the incident.
-Set up a trust fund for his son Ivo, and tried his best to raise him to be a contributing member of society.
-Sufficed to say, that didn’t work. If he’s still alive, he has a REALLY tense relationship with his son.
-Named his son after his older brother as a passive-aggressive act of spite for abandoning the ‘Robotnik’ name.
Dolores Robotnik
-Mother of Ivo. She was a professor of chemistry who decided to put her career on hold in order to be homemaker.
-Was much closer to her son than Theodore was, and often wound up having to play peacemaker between the two. ESPECIALLY during Ivo’s tumultous teenage years.
-Sufficed to say she is not exactly pleased with how he turned out, assuming she’s still alive even.
Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik
-HE IS THE EGGMAN. HE’S GOT THE MASTER PLAN! Really, do you NEED to know any more?
-Well, okay, you do. He was born very shortly before the ARK incident and never knew his grandfather.
-His childhood wasn’t horrible, but it was rough in areas due to his high intelligence making things more difficult for him than they should of be. Loads of disagreements with his dad over pursuing science. Spent years plagued by the derogatory name of ‘Eggman’ due to his weight problems.
-You know how you fantasize about ruling the world as a kid? He never really left that stage of things.
-He initially worked as a research scientist in the fields of AI and energy. During the Great War he was approached by GUN to develop weapons for them. His research would go on to form the basis of the robotic soldiers later used by them in the Robotnik war.
-Began his plot to take over Mobius during his time there, and secretly began to appropriate resources and machines to build a hidden base on the distant South Island. Eventually his schemes were discovered by GUN, but he fled.
-While his cousin conquered portions of Mobius elsewhere, Eggman began his long term Death Egg scheme as a means of conquering Mobius in one fell swoop with the aid of the Chaos Emeralds.
-You can guess how it goes from here- he encounters Sonic on South Island and in the Scrap Brain Zone and is defeated, thus setting the tone for MANY other defeats in the future. He eventually took on the name ‘Dr. Eggman’ as a way to differentiate himself from his cousin, and to make the insult that dogged his life into a name to be feared ala ‘Penguin’.
-When his cousin Julian was seemingly killed and the Robotnik Empire in dissarray, Eggman started new bids to take over the world. He established the Metropolis Zone as his ‘capital city’ and founded the Egg Army to help supplement his Badnik Horde. The Eggman Empire now exists as a terrorist army at the beck and call of Dr. Eggman, though he’s still got a ways to go.
-Has four sons by three different women. Slut.
???
-Haven’t got a name for her yet. She was a random girl that a college age Ivo knocked up, which putty much put an end to her collegiate ambitions. She gave birth to two sons, one of whom she bitterly named ‘Ivan’ as a reminder of his origins after failing to get child support out of her babydaddy. She re-married and is currently leading a comfortable enough life. Humors her son because she knows it annoys his biological father.
Ivan Eggman
-The oldest of Eggman’s sons. In his mid 30s or so. Scientifically gifted, as his father was.
-Has numerous, numerous issues pertaining to his stepfather, a hard and strict man with little toleration for nonsense.
-Idolizes his biological father and desperately wants to be acknowledged by him, even changing his original surname to ‘Eggman’. Eggman the 1st was NOT amused.
-Eventually founded a company, Eggman Industries, and grew rich rapidly. Settled by the Bygone Islands where he pursues life as a ‘villain’ now, though really he’s more like a public nuisance than anything.
-Honestly he’s basically living a ‘second childhood’ of sorts using his scientific know-how and riches, and has vowed to one day impress his father and earn his acknowledgement. As you can imagine, it is.... not working out at all, given that he’s even more of a goober than his pop.
-Ironically, he isn’t naturally bald- he SHAVES his head.
Steve
-Yeah, he ain’t a robot here- Steve is the organic, younger (by about a minute) twin brother of Ivan.
-Utterly unconcerned with science or any of that jazz. He’s basically a bohemian beach bum, complete with californian accent- he spends much of his time surfing and earning cash from side jobs.
-Really mellow and easy-going, and doesn’t really dwell on stuff.
-Utter himbo.
Mrs. Robotnik
- Ex-Wife of Ivo Robotnik. Haven’t given it too much thought, but she and Ivo met while working in acadamia, and eventually married.
-Initially the relationship was pretty solid, and they even had a child together. However things swiftly deteriorated between the two as Ivo’s immaturity and increasing anger at the world strained their relationship, along with him being a lousy parent to their son. She eventually divorced his ass.
-After going through a rough patch with her son, she has begun to re-connect with him after his years a delinquent, and now happily supports his endeavors.
Ivo Robotnik Jr.
-Middle son of Dr. Eggman. Had a nonexistant relationship with his father while growing up, which combined with the divorce eventually turned him into a juvenile delinquent.
-He roamed with a biker gang for a while, and prefers to be called ‘Junior’ rather than ‘Ivo’.
-Fell in with Breezie for a while, the both of them unaware of the other’s connection to Eggman. They eventually went their separate ways once Junior began to turn over a new leaf. He still carries a torch for her, though is painfully aware it’d never work out. Their relationship is... complicated, these days.
-Has since become a software security engineer, making a living providing Anti-Eggman/Robotnik software to companies.
Lindsey Thorndyke
-A famed actress. She and Ivo had a drunken tryst at a wrap party where he’d been invited to act as a consultant on scientific accuracy. To avoid scandal she informed her husband, and they passed off the baby as their own.
-What more do you want. Its LINDSEY.
Chris Thorndyke
-The youngest son of Ivo Robotnik. Spent much of his life completely unaware of his true parentage.
-Eh, what can I say, I kind like the theory of him actually being a Robotnik in some capacity or the next.
-When he was a boy, he befriended Sonic and his friends and even hosted them during the days when Eggman’s schemes for global conquest caused him to haunt Station Square for a while.
-Admired his grandfather Chuck and pursued science to be like him, studying physics and engineering.
-Thanks to his mom he’s something of a film buff.
-In college he learned the truth of his heritage. This has put a strain on his relationship with his parents.
Francis Kintobor
-The youngest of Gerald’s sons. Pursued a career as a schoolteacher. While he changed his name in the aftermath of the ARK incident as his older brother Ivo had, he chose to make a small joke at his brother’s expense over the ludicrousness of the name change by naming his own son ‘Ovi Kintobor’.
-Named after Francis Mao, aka That Guy Who Made That One Comic Adaptation From 1991.
Elizabeth Kintobor
-Dr. Ovi Kintobor’s mother. A career veterinarian with a strong love of animals. That’s about it.
Ovi Kintobor
- Grew up on Westside Island, among Mobians. Had a pretty happy and contented childhood, and like many of the other various members of the Kintobor/Robotnik clan developed a pronounced interest and skill in science at a young age.
-Developed a particular interest in researching Chaos Emeralds.
-A Concientious Objector, he served as a medic during the Great War.
-Deeply, deeply shamed by the actions of his more notorious cousins, he has essentially hidden himself from the world to pursue his research and evade their notice, while helping against them in whatever way he can.
-Has secretly transported people threatened by his cousins to safer places, and once caused a mass sabotage of their respective robotic forces through the ‘Nicenik Virus’.
-An ally of the Freedom Fighters.
-Deeply distrusts GUN (which frankly isn’t a bad call).
-Bit of a hippy, but really is a genuinely nice guy who wants to help others through science.
-In some villages he is known as ‘Mr. Tinker’.
#Sonic the Hedgehog#Dr. Robotnik#Dr. Eggman#Colin Kintobor#Chris Thorndyke#Gerald Robotnik#Hope Kintobor#Snively#Warpnik#Maria Robotnik#Robotnik Junior#Boom Eggman#Steve Eggman#Robotnik Jr#Truly this was the best way to spend the finite thing known as my time on earth
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Bat how do you feel after watching the special
There are multiple levels to my thoughts.
On a satire level, they bungled a lot of the information. They were trying to take an “all sides are stupid stance” on an issue where people are dying daily and there are actual medical reasons for one stance to be factually incorrect so taking an “all sides” stance is... fucking tone deaf. To be fair to them, I enjoyed the amount of meta that informed their episode about knowing that their episode was doing more harm than good and using Randy as a tool for that particular satire was a smart and effective mood. That said, it was a mixed message that promoted a lot of misinformation. While the meta parts were funny, lamp-shading how poor your satire is doesn’t actually make your satire good. It just means you’re lamp-shading the issue. It was disappointing because I had hoped for better as they frequently write good satire. Stan’s character journey was the only cohesive one throughout the episode and while it was a good one, there was so much of the episode that was tone deaf to the severity of this issue. While I think it’s valid to bring levity to the issue and I was hoping they would, they missed the mark by a long-shot. That said, they usually don’t do well with medical issues. The last time they bungled their satire this badly was the vaccination episode. And they infamously bungle literally every trans-related episode. There were aspects of the episode that were poignant, well thought out, and well executed, but the majority was an under-researched in-cohesive mess. Which to some extent I think that’s what they were aiming for because they view the pandemic as an in-cohesive mess. The issue is that one of the reasons that pandemic is such a pervasive issue (especially in the states) is the mass spread of misinformation so when they spread misinformation to criticize the spread of misinformation... it’s just stupid.
However on a character level I very much enjoyed the episode. It was yet another Randy focused episode and as I’ve expressed on a few occasions I just don’t find him funny. Oh no, he jizzed on the weed, that’s sooooo surprising. Honestly Randy is a very one-note character. He does something horrifying, people are horrified, he faces no consequences, rinse, repeat. That all established, I think it’s important character information that he cheated on Sharon twice in China with no guilt whatsoever. He only wanted to hide his crime because “my wife is a bitch”. Also considering he cheated with non-human entities, I think this is strong proof of Rowelie’s viability so take that as you will Rowelie shippers. Also the fact that people grow Randy mustache’s if they ingest his cum and Sharon had a mustache at the end... I sort of hate that Randy took that as proof that she smoked his weed. Now, even if she had smoked it his behavior still is completely and disgustingly inexcusable but also... everyone in South Park is openly smoking so she could have very easily gotten second hand Randy-stache. Or just given her husband a blow job. Also it’s interesting information that within universe Randy’s cum has mutagenic properties. Again for the Rowelie shippers: you could use this as an excuse as to how Towelie turns into a human, Randy’s cum mutated him. Also I think it’s likely that microwaving his balls could be what caused his radioactive jizz. Or one of the times he was experimented on by aliens. Or both. Altogether Randy was a repulsive bastard within the episode who I find boring at best BUT the amount of meta information that he introduced will be very useful to inform my theories. (Also again, the fact that he so easily and guilelessly cheats on Sharon tells me that he that he has done it a multitude of times. My theory is that after he gave Gerald a handy in the hot-tub and was forgiven he just never stopped, basically assuming the permission to do it once was broad permission to do it forever) (oh and second note: this is the second time within canon that Randy has poisoned people’s weed so uh... that’s fucked up)
Freaked out a lot about Jimbo dying, I’m really scared they’ll kill Jimbo but also since they already killed Ned I wonder if the two of them can be happy in the afterlife together because no one can convince me that Jimbo and Ned aren’t canon. Also Randy’s blatant racism and lack of empathy for Jimbo’s illness was really yikes. I dunno guys, I’ve always had a soft spot for Jimbo. He’s a stupid stereotypical red-neck but he had a sort of charm to him and I thought he was funny. I miss when him and Ned were regulars on the show.
CARTMAN DANCING AND SINGING WAS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER ON THIS FUCKING EARTH, FIGHT ME I LOVE THIS STUPID SELFISH LITTLE CRETIN also it’s yet another episode to add to the list of “times Cartman shows he can grow into a better person” and list of “times Cartman seems to show a special soft spot for Stan”. Cartman does tend to listen more frequently when Stan asks and less frequently for literally anyone else. So the Stanman was strong in this one. Also really enjoyed the Stutters. While yes, Stan was completely using Butters as a tool to project his own feelings of unease I think it really says something that he chose Butters for that role. I think to some extent he felt that Butters might be feeling the same mortality-panic he was feeling (whether it was true or not) and that kinship he felt with Butters led him to feel that Butters was also feeling the way he did. He was panicked and he thought out of all his friends that Butters was the one who might share his feelings. I enjoy that sort of subtle connection between them and it’s been a consistent thread within the show that Butters and Stan just treat each other a little different than they do literally everyone else. It’s worth thinking about.
I think Stan was also at his limit because he was already suffering from isolation issues due to Tegridy Farms from before the pandemic. He’s always been a social boy and this brought him to the brink of what he could handle.
THEY SHOT TOKEN AND I SWEAR TO GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LOUD I WAS SCREAMING AT THE TV I THINK I PISSED OFF MY NEIGHBORS i fucking knew it was coming too. The fucking SECOND they shoved those fucking corrupt ass cops in the same room as Token.... I fucking feared for his life. They’ve killed off fairly major background characters before and killing Token would be... topical. I will make it my mission to personally destroy every fucking cop in South Park (Barbrady gets a pass... BARELY). I hate them all. I’ve hated them all for a long time but they murdered several children (including Kenny, the bastards) and they SHOT MY BOY TOKEN I WILL RIP OFF THEIR FUCKING ARMS SEE HOW WELL YOU CAN SHOOT THEN YOU TRASH BASTARDS
Nothing big Kenny happened this episode, insert sad fanboy noises
There were some strong Kyman moments. Cartman went to Kyle’s house for help at the beginning of the episode, obsessed over whether or not he’d be in the same room as Kyle, tried to vomit on Kyle, AND THEN KYLE FUCKING JUMPED HIM AND BEAT HIS ASS DOWN, FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO INCORRECTLY THINK DIFFERENT KYLE IS A FUCKING DOMINANT TOP, HE DOESN’T TAKE IT, HE GIVES IT
Adding that to my long list of “episodes where Kyle shows he isn’t a pushover, is very violent, and can easily kick Cartman’s bitch ass” because every so once in awhile I have to break out that list when someone insists upon how submissive Kyle is. Bitttttttccchhhhhh, you haven’t watched the show if you think that. My favorite kid doesn’t take your shit
Very interested in Red’s new canon last name (McArthur) but I’m also unsure about it because in the scene’s where it’s shown I couldn’t quite tell if it was actually Red or Powder. She kept being shown from odd angles and her hair looked a little shorter than normal. That said, I’m happy if it is her because I’ve been wanting a canon last name for Red for a long-ass time. Even presuming you go by the cousin’s headcanon for Craig and Red, there’s no guarantee they would have the same last name.
Let’s see, I think I had some other thoughts but those were the main points
OH PAUSE THE SCREEN WHEN THE PARENTS ARE ON ZOOM it’s really cute/funny what the usernames are. For example Annie’s mom is totally just using Annie’s account so she’s probably not very tech savvy. There’s actually a lot of minor character detail that you can infer from those screen-names.
Yeah those are my major thoughts: Randy is trash, nothing new, Cartman was ADORABLE and also lots of good meta for him (I have some hcs that one of the reasons he adored the social distancing so much isn’t because he hates human contact because we know from previous seasons that he’s a bit of a lonely boy, but he likes the social distancing explicitly because it gives him an excuse to reject other people before they can reject him), good stutters moments, good kyman moments, good stanman moments, there were some style moments if you squint? Kyle was one of the people Stan consulted about his feelings of unease but since it wasn’t just Kyle that he consulted it didn’t really feel like that was a special personal part of their relationship, moreso that he wanted Kyle to kiss his booboo and make it better. Although further proof that Kyle is the dom in that relationship. Kyle was agitated over the situation but overall rational, Stan was flipping the fuck out. Stan came to him submissive, scared, and asking for Kyle to make him feel better. Kyle remained calm and logical. I swear to god if I read one more cutesy-innocent Kyle post I might flip a table. Literally Kyle’s canonical self is RIGHT THERE
OH YEAH MY BUTTERS THOUGHTS there’s nothing really new here but it continues the trend of Butters being a self centered prick. (I love him but he is) Instead of even trying to understand the number of people dying or the gravity of the situation, he’s just upset and throwing tantrums because he doesn’t get to play at Build a Bear. And it’s made explicit in the writing that unlike Stan he isn’t struggling with the nebulous fear of death (probably brought on by his uncle getting sick). Butters is just bitter that he doesn’t get to have special things. Also Stan was the only one who tried even a little to save Butters from getting taken by the guards. No one else tried to stop or warn Butters. So again, very cute Stutters moment where Stan is overtly worried for Butters’ well-being even when he’s throwing a bratty tantrum. (I don’t know how anyone perceives Butters as an altruistic person, he’s a selfish twat. he’s a lovable selfish twat, like Cartman, but he’s still a selfish twat. and none of his shitty behavior in this episode was even remotely related to Cartman so you can’t connect it to him. Butters, on his own and without anyone else’s influence, does and acts like a shit-head). There is the excuse that he’s only ten but literally everyone in that cafeteria is only ten. But Butters is the only one kicking other people’s food because he didn’t get his special prize.
This all sounds like I hate Butters. I love Butters, warts and all, I just get really annoyed when fandom ignores his warts because his warts are PART OF THE REASON I LOVE BUTTERS. Also it’s like... blatantly and observably canon that he’s selfish.
I’m going to happily ruminate on Stan feeling a strong pang of protectiveness towards Butters though. That was quite illuminating.
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The Calloways: Back stories, information & more ❥
Part One: Family.
Obviously, Synn, Katie and Fae have all taken a sister each and will grow them in ways that they see best but these are my original headcanons and ideas of what the family are like & what their lives are like.
The Family (by age)
Gerald Calloway (46)
Anthea Calloway (45)
Eloise Calloway
Amber Calloway
Felicity Calloway
Piper Calloway - ‘Deceased’
Zara Calloway
Darla Sutherland - Mother of Eloise
Gerald Calloway
Gerald inherited The Calloway from his father and the hotel has been in the family since before the First World War. He’s a traditionalist and definitely takes pride in being “the man of the house.”
With Eloise - Eloise and Gerald have a special bond. Despite what Eloise may think, he’s never wanted his oldest daughter to feel pushed out or not a part of the family. He definitely has a soft spot for her and believes the two of them are bonded in a way he’ll have be able to achieve with the other girls.
With Amber - Amber is his first child with his current wife and he definitely sees her as a ‘Mummy’s Girl’. He loves her just as much as he loves the others, but with her being Anthea’s favourite, Gerald rarely had much to do with her as she got older.
With Felicity - Gerald would’ve seen Felicity as a relief. Before she came, it was very much Eloise vs. Amber and him trying to find a way to balance them both when their mothers wanted one to be better than the other. I feel like Gerald would’ve used Felicity to bring some sort of unity between the sisters because she gave them a common ground; because of this, Felicity is probably the reason he’s a lot closer to his family in general which gives them a great bond.
With Piper - Piper was always the ‘difficult twin’ out of her and Zara. Piper and Zara were Gerald’s first taste at having famous children; think Mary-Kate and Ashley; and he loved the bragging rights he gave him. However, rather than being the half-child-half-doll that Zara was, Piper would lash out more. All of the sisters knew that Piper and Gerald didn’t get along, Piper included.
With Zara - Being the youngest, Zara spent most of her childhood doing as she was told and going where she was taken. Seeing as she was a child star with Piper, Gerald loved this. When Piper would lash out, Zara would stand in and charm everybody again. She was the perfect addition his father needed; big blue eyes, a head of blonde hair and an angelic presence. After Zara had difficult teenage years, I think Gerald does the most to get back a daughter that doesn’t exist anymore.
Anthea Calloway
Anthea had been a young model and socialite when she met Gerald back in the nineties; think Serena Van Der Woodsen. Her family were famous for owning land more than anything else but being the older sister of two, she was determined to make more of a name for herself beyond that, hence the modelling. She later went on to launch her own fashion brand and magazine known as Enchanté.
With Eloise - Anthea and Eloise’s relationship is almost non-existent and it’s Anthea’s fault. Even though she got Gerald and she was the reason he broke up with Darla, it wasn’t good enough. She spent a lot of years being jealous of the fact that Gerald had a child with Darla and she’d never measure up. When her own daughters eventually did come along, she did and still does everything in her power to keep a divide between her own girls and Eloise. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
With Amber - The moment Amber came along, Anthea suddenly felt secure in her relationship with Gerald. Darla couldn’t be smug that she had a daughter with Gerald and Anthea didn’t, because she now did. Amber was and still is her pride and joy, and Anthea will go out of her way to make sure Amber is better than Eloise in everything. It doesn’t help that the two girls are so close in age, because they grew up feeling the rivalry too. However, with Darla out of the picture for the most part, it was clear that Amber would usually win any competition Anthea set up.
With Felicity - Anthea, of course, loves Felicity and as with everything else, she’d often push Amber and Felicity to do things together which is why the girls were so close. Anthea noticed that Felicity was feistier than Amber from a younger age, and would often use this to her own benefit when it came to indirectly upsetting Eloise. She’d often plant ideas and misconceptions in her daughters head to pull the girls apart. However - and it’s a big however, while Anthea is proud of Felicity for breaking into fashion just like she did as well as Amber, she’ll always do what she can to make sure Amber is the better of the two.
With Piper - Piper was always Anthea’s least favourite child and she never really had it a big secret. Yes, Piper was technically the family’s “cash cow” - Zara definitely wouldn’t have made childhood stardom on her own - but, she was a pain. She was reckless and hard to control. When Piper fell pregnant at just fourteen, Anthea found this the perfect excuse to send her away to secretly live with her Great Aunt in Sweden. Anthea still works today to make sure her daughter stays away, as the girls and Gerald believe that she died through a freak accident while out in L.A.
With Zara - Zara was like a doll to Anthea. She was the baby, the one she could dress up and control when the other girls were too old for all of that. She enjoyed the attention Zara got through her fame and often lived vicariously through her. She put a lot of effort on her youngest to do everything her sisters did and more; some would even believe she was attempting to make Amber 2.0 out of her. When Zara went off the rails and moved to L.A., Anthea believed that Zara knew about Piper and does her best to keep her sweet. Zara doesn’t know, but Anthea doesn’t know that and will bend over backwards to keep Zara sweet.
Darla Sutherland
Darla was the high school sweetheart of Gerald and also the mother of Eloise, his first child and her only child. Darla herself came from money. Her family own a very successful chain of restaurants in the South of England which gave them the money to place her in the school that Gerald also attended. They married as soon as they were legal - sixteen, Gerald was seventeen - and were together until Gerald started to become more in tune with the world of show business. That’s where he met Anthea.
Darla didn’t want to believe it at first, but it was obvious that their relationship was completely falling apart and while Gerald kept his promise of helping to raise Eloise, she was extremely bitter and has nothing but hate towards Anthea and her other girls.
She lives in Cornwall, where her family originally were from.
Piper Calloway
(TW: Grooming/Abortion)
Piper was the twin of Zara. The second youngest Calloway sister and definitely the one with the biggest presence. Her family believe she ‘passed away’ out in Los Angeles after contracting an illness by chance. The truth of the matter is that she’s currently living out in rural Sweden with her Great Aunt. She fell pregnant at 14 with the baby of one of her show’s producers and was sent away to have her abortion in Sweden; she didn’t know she’d be kept there, but Anthea made sure she was.
With Eloise - Piper was probably the only sister who’d actively understand that Anthea was deliberately trying to turn the other girls against their older sister. Amber was raised against her, Felicity didn’t know any different and Zara was too quiet. Piper wouldn’t have it, though, and would often try to rebuild bridges where Anthea burnt them.
With Amber - Amber was the sister Piper clashed most with, just because she reminded Piper so much of their mother, and Piper hates their mother. She didn’t quite understand the pedestal Amber was on at all times either. As far as the daughters of Anthea go, these two represent the opposite ends of the spectrum; Amber is the golden girl, Piper is...not.
With Felicity - Piper and Felicity probably have the most similarities personality-wise and in a normal family, probably would have been the closest of the sisters. However, knowing how much her parents love Felicity, Piper would go out of her way to be nasty or upset her because she knows in turn, it’d hurt Gerald and Anthea. The bottom line is, Piper loved all of her sisters but didn’t love how they were so linked to her parents; and her hate for them always triumphed.
With Zara - Being the closest in age, they fought and loved harder than any of the other sisters did. They lived in each other’s pockets from the age of five right up until everything changed. Even though Zara was only a few minutes younger than Piper, Piper would go out of her way to shield Zara from things she didn’t want her to be exposed to; creepy men in the industry, drugs, bad people in general. Piper always had better intuition than Zara to the point where it’s no surprise Zara made a whole heap of bad decisions as soon as she was out of the picture.
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Kyle Broflovski
I hope you learned something today.
Kyle has been accepted! Please send in your blog link.
out of character info
Name/Alias: Samantha
Pronouns: she/her
Age: 26
Join Our Discord: I’m in it
Timezone: EST
Activity: 6
Triggers:
Password: fast pass my ass jimbo
Character that you’re applying for: Kyle Broflovski
Favourite ships for your character: anything tbh
in character info
Full name: Kyle Edom Broflovski
Birthday: May 26th, 2001
Sexuality, gender, pronouns: bisexual, out, he/him
Age and grade: 17 & senior
Face claim: Harry Smith
Personality:
Kyle’s personality is often all over the place. To say he’s temperamental is an understatement, considering how quick to violence and harsh words he is. Perhaps it has to do with his New Jersey heritage, or the stress from the work he puts in, or maybe something else entirely. But the anger is a defining characteristic. Often this leads Kyle to getting into some various fight, be it with his mother or a peer, his wall or a tree when he escapes to the mountains to get away from the irritating people of South Park and forget about shit. Therapy or a yoga class would likely do him good, though Kyle often prefers to take his rage out on something a little harder. Because of his, his slender fingers are crooked and covered in scars from where the skin and bones broke during a fit of punches at a tree or door or brick wall. Or, if he’s lucky, someone’s face.
Though Kyle isn’t angry all the time. There are plenty of times where he’s rather calm, such as focused at his desk writing in his various journals, finishing his school work, or reading. Being alone is cathartic, and peaceful. Though Kyle is often content and relaxed when he’s around those he cares about, he has the capabilities of being sweet, though he isn’t really aware of it. He does try, but often when he tries he falls short and hopefully he’ll learn to go with the natural flow and feel his emotions freely without overthinking it.
Which is another huge part of Kyle, thinking everything into oblivion until he’s lost in his own head and finding himself suffocated by his thoughts. Because of this he’s often insecure and paranoid, and desperate to forget about it. Which recently has gotten him into a bit of a sticky spot with someone else.
As well, if there’s one thing Kyle is that could be considered positive, it’s determined. When he knows what he wants, Kyle stops at nothing until he gets it. Case point for him is Yale, refusing to accept any other school that isn’t Ivy League. His classes are plentiful and filling his lunch breaks and several hours after class, leaving him with more than enough credits to have graduated. His determination has put him in various activities such as Student Council, DARE, Mathletes, Basketball and the debate team.
History:
Kyle grew up in a fairly stereotypical Jewish household. Well, it was fairly stereotypical until he was ten and discovered his fathers very concerning internet hobby. But aside from that, it was Passover baskets, separate cooking utensils for meat and dairy. Absolutely no bacon. Or ham. Or mixing cheese and meat, which lead to a lot of envy over the other children who were able to eat cheeseburgers. But it wasn’t bad. The Christmas holidays often fell over Hanukkah, and even when they didn’t it was a few weeks off of school to bum around with his friends.
Everything with middle school was a preparation for high school, which was a preparation for college. Kyle worked to be top of every class, finding a taste for black coffee early on to stay up late and stay caffeinated for the school day. It began with sneaking instant coffee from the jar, to spending his allowance at Tweek Tweaks (by far the superior of the options, too). Cream didn’t agree with him, and he had to carefully monitor his diabetes.
As for family, Kyle’s current closest confidant is Ike, his adopted younger brother from the Great White North. Even though the kid was eleven, going on twelve, Kyle could tell he was going to far superior in intellect than he was. There was always the nagging jealousy over it, because Ike was a natural where Kyle just worked. Although Ike would often argue that it was worse, he felt like he had no passion. Kyle just chalked it up to preteen angst, although he wouldn’t doubt if it turned into strong teenage rebellion in a few years. He wouldn’t put it past his kid brother to dismantle governments before college. Now that Kyle was in high school himself, it was a whole new ball game. Or rather, the same game but what felt like a hundred times more stressful. He had no idea what he wanted to do in the future, no set career goal. Which meant Kyle needed to cover all options. The first semester of ninth grade had simply been used to assimilate him. Since the second semester of his first year, Kyle had worked with the guidance counsellor to get as many class credits as he could. Since then, he opted out of his lunch hour to fill it with more classes, and now in eleventh grade didn’t take the allotted study periods. Most used them to piss off school grounds and fuck around the city, but Kyle filled them with more classes. The workload was obscene, and Kyle spent every waking moment studying, working on projects. After school was used for extracurriculars, basketball, track. Kyle needed to cover all grounds. His goal was Yale, Harvard as a second. For what, he didn’t know, he simply knew he wanted to leave this shitty town and go Ivy League.
Anything less was unacceptable.
Headcanons:
{ 💥 } • Has clear anger issues, and attempts to manage them as best he can. Gives himself self-ratings from 1-5 in his head about it. One being general pissed offedness, three being angry as hell, five being blinding, inandescent black out rage.
{ 💥 } • Can forgive incredibly easily, but will rarely get over or forget wrongdoings.
{ 💥 } • Extra as fuck. This is the boy who went to commit murder, would have burnt down the school, and caused Canada to be nuked, after all.
{ 💥 } • While often portrayed as the logical one, Kyle’s most likely to react with passion as opposed to ration. He’s quick to violence, quick to make rash decsions, only to use reason after or when it doesn’t affect him. Kyle should practice what he preaches, but he tends to be a person that’s “do as I say, not as I do” type person
{ 💥 } • Always wanting to be bettering himself, which is a mountain he struggles to climb. But he always tries to go at least two steps forward one step back.
{ 💥 } • Absolutely hates when people put him into a box. He does not revolve around the fact he’s Jewish, he’s more than that, for instance.
{ 💥 } • Hates that his name means handsome redhead when he’s only one of those things.
{ 💥 } • Does not have freckles. At all. Do not even say he does. He does, however, have a strawberry shaped birth mark on his butt.
{ 💥 } • Started writing his anger down in notebooks in fifth grade when people (Eric) started pissing him off. Eventually it just became a good way to try to organize his life and now keeps them as a way to plan schedules, track lists, keep notes, things he’s learned, etc down. A lot of the ones from September have complex starbucks orders written down
{ 💥 } • Wears reading glasses.
{ 💥 } • Doesn’t stand for people blaming their actions on mental health problems. He tries to explain his actions as mistakes or poor judgement or decision making. Hates when people make excuses. Doesn’t blame his anger issues on his life, or his health issues, etc. Blames them on the fact he’s just stupid and makes mistakes.
{ 💥 } • Loves plants and trees. Is a nature freak.
{ 💥 } • Likely knows the woods better than anyone else in the town. Will be there most of the summers, and weekends in the warmer weather. Goes there to get away from people, and to calm himself down if upset. Has several favourite places.
{ 💥 } • Drives a 2017 Toyota Prius (White)
{ 💥 } • Will live and die eating Nutella
{ 💥 } • Is a fighter, obviously. Has no qualms throwing punches, and doesn’t intend to stop fighting until he’s physically removed from the situation. Kyle needs to have his eye contact actively broken, because he fights like a damn Rottweiler and sees eye contact as a challenge.
{ 💥 } • has probably the worst style known to man kind, if it’s ugly, he loves it. Specifically enjoys cable knit sweaters and corduroy pants.
Anything else:
Family headcanons:
{ 🔥 } • Gerald has taken Sheila’s name. This is because Grandma Broflovski is Sheila’s mother, which means Gerald would have had to have taken Sheila’s last name. She’s a strong independent woman who needs no man but when she did she made him take her name.
{ 🔥 } • Got pregnant fairly young, and was unmarried, while living with her mother. Because her pregnancy helped Sheila realize she wanted to leave her jersey life, her and Gerald had a shotgun wedding before moving to South Park.
{ 🔥 } • Sheila had complications with her pregnancy with Kyle, and was no longer likely to have children after Kyle.
{ 🔥 } • Spent several years trying for another child with treatments before settling on adoption, ending up with a closed adoption and bringing Ike into the family.
{ 🔥 } • Gerald was once best friends with Stuart McCormick. Ended up resentful. Gerald moved to Jersey to continue his law degree. Gerald and Sheila chose South Park to move to from New Jersey because it was his hometown.
{ 🔥 } • Gerald, because of his fights with Stuart, thinks Kenny is a no good street rat and hates Kenny hanging around the house. Sheila, however, adores him. Gerald doesn’t complain about him while she’s around, but he has no issue with saying it around Kyle.
{ 🔥 } • Kyle, as mentioned, is a daddy’s boy. Because of how similar he is to his mother, they often butt heads. Gerald has dealt with this his whole life, and loves his angry wife and son and can handle them both just fine.
{ 🔥 } • However, Ike is similar to him in many ways, and this can cause Gerald and Ike to be distant to each other.
{ 🔥 } • Isn’t affectionate with Ike the same was he is Kyle. Sheila is far more affectionate with Ike, where Kyle pulls away.
{ 🔥 } • Sheila will believe Ike in every lie he says, without question. A lot of her favouritism of him stems from guilt from things like the Canusa War and forgetting his 13th birthday
Photograph:
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May i get some style headcanons if it doesnt bother you please? I love your writing and would love to see more of it :3
You don’t have to ask me twice! I have too many headcanons for my angelsI have way more than these so let me know if you guys want a second part!
Kyle attends all of Stan’s football games. Every. Single. One. - always has the best seats on the bleachers - his Soccer Mom side comes out whenever Stan gets injured/tackled - if he can get close enough to the pitch, Stan will run over to where he’s sitting after he scores and pushes himself up on the wall just to kiss Kyle
Walking Sparky is apparently a two man job - Kyle is the one who throws the tennis ball and Stan tries to outrun Sparky - Stan has Sparky’s lead in one hand and Kyle’s hand in his other.
Study sessions always evolve into make-out sessions - The longest they’ve studied together is around 45 minutes - Stan is normally the one who initiates it, much to Kyle’s hesistance - However, there were a few occasions where Kyle became so stressed out and frustrated that he would spontaneously tackle Stan.
Stan’s parents found out within the first few weeks, Kyle’s parents didn’t know until around 8 months into the relationship. - They mostly hung out at Stan’s place because Kyle was afraid of his parents reactions - That’s how Randy and Sharon found out, Randy may have stumbled in on one of their “study sessions”, both parents were completely okay with the relationship - Kyle’s parents, on the other hand, didn’t take it very well. Sheila gave him the silent treatment for weeks and every time Gerald tried to reach out, he stopped under the eye of his wife
Kyle blushes at everything like he’s never heard a compliment before in his life - Stan always uses this to his advantage, he’ll whisper things in Kyle’s ear and kiss his neck and it will drive him insane - He’s also a little shit for texting Kyle sexual things in public, especially when they’re together and around others - his reaction is everything to Stan.
Stan has a thing for picking Kyle up - every chance he’ll get, his hands will be planted on Kyle’s waist. - He’ll be kissing him, probably - In turn, Kyle’s hands are always locked around Stan’s neck
Kyle is pretty much always the little spoon - Stan is that perfect mix of soft and muscle for Kyle to just curl up against and sleep - Kyle is asleep in five minutes guaranteed if he’s in Stan’s arms and pressed up against his chest
#south park#sp style#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#south park headcanons#sp style headcanons#sp kyle#sp stan#sp#kyle broflovski x stan marsh
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Y’all can thank @merlesbeard for this one bc they’ve always got me riding that headcanon train and they basically singlehandedly cured my writer’s block
"Krav,” Taako side-eyed his date as best he could as he felt hands wrap around him from behind and a cool kiss press to his neck. “What are you doing?”
“Mmm, nothing,” Kravitz responded, pulling away to give a mischievous smile, and Taako had to bite his tongue in order to keep up his fake-annoyed expression. There was a playful glint in Kravitz’s eyes that was new to him; they’d only been together for a short while, but Taako knew well enough that he was never like this in public.
Taako glanced around to see if anyone had noticed as he wriggled out of his grasp. “Don’t get me wrong - loving this - but you’re gonna blow our cover, my dude.”
Kravitz rolled his eyes, a smile still on his face. “You mean our ‘cover’ of sneaking into this banquet and pretending to be rival politicians? Real unique date idea, by the way.”
Taako shrugged. “Hey, you gotta spice up the relationship somehow.”
“This is our twelfth date.”
“See? It’s so boring that you’re able to keep count,” He grabbed an hors d’oeuvres as someone walked by with a tray, popped it in his mouth, then immediately spat it onto the ground. “That is disgusting.”
Kravitz snorted. “With your lack of decorum I won’t have any trouble winning the debate later tonight,” He said, and out of the corner of his eye as he turned away, he saw Taako’s ears perk up with confusion.
“Debate?” He asked, chasing Kravitz out of the room. “Wait, you’re not serious are y-”
Kravitz turned around and pulled him in for a kiss as soon as they were out of the main banquet room. They were alone here, and he felt Taako hesitate for a moment before relaxing into it. Kravitz moved them both a bit so that they were partially concealed by a decorative curtain that hung nearby. One of his hands wound in his boyfriend’s hair and tugged ever so slightly as the other traced the frills of his button-down shirt and teased at the buttons. A pantsuit was an unconventional choice for Taako, but he’d insisted on wearing it to help sell the politician character. Kravitz had to admit that he looked pretty hot. Then again, he looked hot in everything.
Taako hummed a laugh against Kravitz’s lips. “Hmm we’re in public, Krav.”
“Like that’s ever stopped you,” Kravitz let out a low chuckle, then heard a surprised gasp from behind him. They both stopped and looked to see a couple - some other politician they’d met earlier and his wife - looking particularly scandalized at the scene before them.
Taako’s hand flew to his mouth and his eyes went wide as if to feign some sort of modest shock. Kravitz was glad he wasn’t able to blush as he dipped his head to acknowledge the couple like everything was normal.
“Gerald. Susan.” He glanced between the two. “We all have our secrets, right?”
Gerald and Susan glanced at each other before nodding quickly and rushing out of the room. As soon as they were out of sight, Taako and Kravitz both busted out laughing, resting their heads on each other’s shoulders for support for a few moments.
“’We all have our secrets?’” Taako wheezed. “What kind of line is that?”
“Please, you know they’re both cheating on each other,” Kravitz said, calming down and watching Taako recover.
As his last bits of laughter subsided, Taako eyed Kravitz. “Oh no, don’t look at me like that. We should not have sex here. We already got caught once, what’ll the voters think if this gets out?”
“We’re not actually politicians, love,” He chuckled, but then stopped when he saw Taako’s expression change at the word ‘love.’ Shit. “Sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a pet name-”
Taako shook his head, a blush rising to his cheeks. “No, it’s fine, I get it,” He said, but his ears flattened a bit and Kravitz felt guilty. They were just supposed to be having a fun night and he had to go and make things awkward.
He heard the sounds of more footsteps and quickly pushed Taako further behind the curtain so they were fully concealed. It was a thick curtain and it was far enough from the wall that the two didn’t make any sort of obvious lump when they were behind it. He looked down at Taako and saw that he had a coy smile on his face, all awkwardness gone now as he walked his fingers up Kravitz’s chest.
“We shouldn’t have sex here,” Taako repeated, slipping a finger under the knot of Kravitz’s tie. “At this banquet. But we really shouldn’t have sex here,” He added, looking around to indicate the immediate space they were in.
Kravitz pulled him closer and kissed his neck. “Oh, but that was my exact plan,” He murmured in the low rumble that he knew had a certain effect on Taako.
Taako let out a breathless laugh that sounded almost nervous. “You know, usually I’m the one making advances on you in public and then you get upset with me.”
“What can I say?” Kravitz moved up to kiss Taako’s lips. “You’re a bad influence on me.”
“Gods, that’s hot,” Taako barely finished his sentence before he grabbed Kravitz’s head with both hands and pulled him back in.
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Two questions 1.What do you think about this theory that Gerald is a new mistery sniper in game? 2. Can you draw some McSombra (McCreeXSombra) art/comics or write some headcanon -I realy like this ship- with Amelia and Gerard in background?
Just as a disclaimer, you’re probably not gonna like my answers. XD
As for the first question, as much as I adore Gérard Lacroix I really hope this theory really remains a theory for the following reasons:
1) There are so many characters who have escaped death in the game already. There’s Soldier 76, Reaper, (though Reaper technically is dead) Genji, Mei, and Ana. If Gérard somehow managed to survive he’d be the 6th hero to come back from the dead. I also feel it’s extremely unlikely because in Widowmaker’s bio it states that he was killed in his sleep, which would lead me to believe his body was found.
2) If Blizzard retcons this information in Widowmaker’s bio just to bring him back it MAJORLY devalues Widowmaker’s story. Her identity is based upon the fact that she killed her husband, hence her call sign. Widowmaker was born when Gérard died and created purely for the sake of Talon getting rid of him. If he hadn’t died, then Widowmaker failed her mission and was ultimately brainwashed for nothing. Her relevance as a character revolves around Gérard’s murder. If he is still alive then Widowmaker is a blue psychopath who was brainwashed for nothing more than to show how evil Talon is as an organization.
3) I’ve covered this point previously when asked about a Gérard Lives AU and Widowmaker’s potential redemption arch, BUT I feel it needs restated. Gérard being alive would ultimately be the cruelest thing to do to the Lacroixs. It wouldn’t help Widowmaker be redeemed. Clearly due to her voice lines and other lore information she is still mourning her husband’s loss. Whether or not she’s aware that he was taken by her hand is yet to be stated. However, regardless of her clearly still loving him things HAVE changed. They can’t just return to their previously happy life. Widowmaker is incredibly devoted to Talon as seen in her voice lines, a terrorist organization who organized Gérard’s murder and ruined his life. That alone is going to drive a wedge between them. Not only that but Widowmaker has blood on her hands and is an international criminal. If she’s caught she will go to jail. If Gérard was to survive his murder and run into his now blue wife it would only cause incredible emotional pain with both parties, which is just really, really cruel.
4) This last point isn’t as big of deal but it’s still a little important. As I’ve stated before I love Gérard Lacroix and because of this I’ve put a lot of effort into a character that Blizzard hasn’t really touched. If Blizzard were to make him an in-game hero ultimately he’d turn out different than the character that my boyfriend and I have been developing. Now, he is a canon character so it is always possible that such a thing would happen. But since it’s been so long I’d have a hard time seeing all our hard work go down the drain with his introduction to the game. XD Like I said, it’s not really a big major point and more of one based on personal bias. The points above hold more weight as to why I hope he’s not introduced.
Now as for your second question which held a request within it…
While I don’t mind McSombra as a ship and find it potentially plausible among all the ships out there I personally don’t ship it. Or at the very least I don’t ship it hard enough to formulate headcanons and draw stuff for it. In my personal headcanon I ship them with other characters and as a personal code I don’t draw something unless I 100% am behind it myself (Unless it’s a commission of course). This is just so I don’t get people following me for something they’ll never see again.
So, I am very sorry but I will not be drawing your request or McSombra anytime soon. Maybe someday, but not in the near future. ;D Thank you so much for the questions! I appreciate the interaction a whole bunch! I hope you have a wonderful morning/day/night!
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What are your headcanons for Kyle's parents? I absolutely ADORE those two together and after reading your fic about their first meeting, I loved it!
Well, before Season 20 I always imagined Sherald as the perfect couple (they are, after all, a Gemini and a Libra - super compatible signs). They had their problems, like Sheila being overbearing and an emotional roller coaster and Gerald having a history of addiction (gambling, cat pee) and narcissism (gods and clods is the prime example), but the key to them and the Broflovskis being a strong family unit was absolute transparency. They KNEW what each other’s flaws were and worked through them together. What set Sherald apart from the other SP parents was their willingness to talk things out, hold each other accountable, and try to make each other happy even if it meant stepping out of their respective comfort zones. Because they were always a united front, particularly as parents, Kyle and Ike saw that as an example to follow and ALSO present a united front as siblings, and they both really value their family above anything else.
HOWEVER… Season 20 was kind of a slap in the face. It made me reevaluate Gerald as a character and, as a result, what he actually brings to the table in their family. That being said, I thought Gerald’s characterization in Season 20 made a lot of sense - it brought his narcissism to the forefront and took it to an extreme place, but it wasn’t out of character. Gerald thinks he’s better than everyone else and is in total denial about any of his actions being wrong, but he’s also desperate to preserve his reputation and image as an upbeat family man who has a loving wife and two decent hard working kids. So he channeled his narcissism and arrogance into something secretive - anonymously making people feel bad about themselves on the internet so he can then pat himself on the back and call himself hilarious. At first I thought he was poisoning himself with memberberry wine, but… no, Gerald is JUST a huge asshole. But it made sense, as he’s always had an undercurrent of douchebaggery that simply came across as fairly innocuous before this.
The most upsetting thing about S20, though, was that Sheila never found out about it, and Gerald is super proud of that. So… that made me reevaluate my headcanon that Sheila and Gerald, no matter what happens, are honest with each other. Gerald, despite his denial of having done anything wrong, KNOWS that this is something that would cause Sheila to at best lose faith in him and at worst, leave him. And he’d rather knowingly lie to the woman who would do LITERALLY ANYTHING for him than risk losing his Perfect Life.
So, that’s where I stand on them as a couple right now. Not as magical as I always thought. But then, maybe they were never that magical and I was just looking at them through Kyle’s eyes? And now that Kyle’s rose colored lenses have been removed, so have mine.
On that note, the other thing that really blew my mind about Gerald this season was just how much of a DICK he was to Kyle. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loved the scene where he tells Kyle to lighten up and stop being a pussy, because it confirms a lot of what I headcanon for Kyle (that his anxiety, constant guilt, and need for validation can make him kind of unbearable to be around at times, even for his parents), but like… you don’t say that shit to your kid!!!
I think that, generally speaking, Gerald and Sheila are both good parents, though. They provide for their kids, try to teach them good morals, and have somehow managed to produce two kids who are very intelligent, have a strong sense of self, and who value hard work and education in the midst of all the fuckery and foolishness that is South Park. Even with their flaws - Sheila having an extreme temper that prevents her from truly listening sometimes, and Gerald secretly being an asshole who doesn’t understand that driving someone to suicide is A Bad Thing To Do - they have SOMEHOW the most solid, consistent marriage and positive parenting style in the entire show.
I do think it is very clear by now that Gerald favors Ike over Kyle and Sheila favors Kyle over Ike. Gerald favors Ike because he sees Kyle as a lost cause, because he’s “just like his mother”, and still thinks he can swing Ike over to his fucked up sense of humor (even though that clearly didn’t work). I think Gerald sees Ike as more of a typical son, and therefore more fun than Kyle. Kyle has too much of a sense of duty, too much nurturing instinct, and a tendency to sacrifice his own well being to help and worry about others, which in Gerald’s mind makes him a wet blanket.
On the flip side, Sheila favors Kyle BECAUSE he takes after her in like, every way possible. He’s into politics, he likes to read, he’s passionate to a fault about everything, he values family and duty and honor, he values and defends his religion, he puts school first, etc etc… these are all things that Sheila tried her best to impart onto him from the get go, which is why when Kyle fucks up, she reacts SO strongly and is SO disappointed. Her reactions to his moments of disrespect or compromised morals are so disproportionately severe because she sees him as perfect, and though he tries to live up to that and it causes him a lot of stress, at the end of the day it’s impossible to be Sheila’s Perfect Son 100% of the time. I also headcanon that Sheila being pregnant with Kyle was a very stressful pregnancy, that it followed one or two miscarriages, that it ended in a premature birth, and that Kyle was a sickly infant. Because she tried so hard to have him and there was always that risk of losing him, she babies the SHIT out of him. It doesn’t help that he’s a sickly kid, too. So she’s still extremely overprotective and overbearing with him in a way she really doesn’t seem to be with Ike. Thus, Kyle learned to be incredibly overdramatic about everything that happens to him because that’s what is guaranteed to get him the maximum amount of attention. So we can blame Sheila for that. But Stan often enables it too.
And… yeah, I can’t think of anything else to write here that wasn’t in that little fic you read. I’m glad you liked it, anon, and I’m always glad to see other people out there who love the Broflovskis! Hopefully this response had the information you were looking for, lol, and sorry it ended up so long.
#asks#south park#meta#anonymous#sherald#sheila broflovski#gerald broflovski#kyle broflovski#rambling about kyle#my meta#sp meta#contributions
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Kyle Shwartz
Ya’ll are gonna think I’m nuts, but this is my fav Kyle S. hc.
So to give some necessary background:
First of all, I hc that Broflovski is Sheila’s maiden name. Honestly, ever since Cleo Broflovski was introduced. Yes, I know it’s possible that she was just very close to her mother in law, but I always felt like Sheila was Cleo’s daughter (also Cleo and Sheila have both family resemblance and similar personalities). Gerald took Sheila’s last name when they got married (because pick a reason, maybe Gerald got into legal trouble in his youth because of his troll-personality or his friendship with Stuart and in order to make sure it doesn’t turn up in a google search, he took his wifes name. being a lawyer does require you looking good to your clients and the jury. or maybe sheila just wanted to keep her last name, I don’t really care why. it’s not that an insane idea that Gerald once had a different last name).
Gerald had one sibling growing up, a sister (who we will henceforth call Alya for convenience sake). He grew up in South Park, he was close friends with Stuart. Sheila grew up in Jersey with her family.
Alya and Stuart began dating in their teens and eventually got married or at least planned to get married. Alya got pregnant with Kevin (yes, Kevin McCormick) and around that time they began to have a lot of relationship trouble.
Alya and Stuart’s relationship is a huge reason for Gerald’s grudge against Stuart.
Stuart started attending cult meetings when Kevin was about two, leaving Kevin largely neglected since Alya was at this point the bread-winner. Stuart cheated on Alya with Carol and with that, Alya moved away.
Gerald went to Jersey for law school and he met Sheila while he was there.
Alya met Murray after she moved, they got married and they had Kyle together.
(fans might note that Murray is listed as ‘murray broflovski, gerald’s brother’ on the wiki page but in the episode where he shows up (Ike’s brisk) he is only introduced as ‘uncle murray’, therefore we don’t know his last name or if he’s an uncle ‘by blood’)
Alya still has partial custody over Kevin which is why he disappears from the narrative sometimes, he’s off spending time with his mom and half brother.
Sometime later after Kenny is born, Stuart and Carol are made aware that no matter how hard they try to conceive a third child, she keeps having miscarriages (because of kenny’s deaths but its dubious whether she remembers this all the time or not). Stuart cheats on Carol with Alya during an indiscretion where both of their marriages are rocky and Karen is conceived.
Karen was mostly raised by Murray and Alya after they made up which is why she doesn’t start living with the McCormick’s until the age of 6. Alya got sick (remember that KyleSchwartz originally started visiting the Broflovski household because his mom is sick) and she either dies or becomes too ill to handle two children, so Karen is sent to live with her father and Kyle Schwartz is frequently sent to spend time with his cousin Kyle.
Gerald is aware that Kevin and Karen are half siblings with Kyle schwartz but he refuses to acknowledge them because he considers them to be bastards. Because Kyle’s constitution is so weak, he’s discouraged from spending time with his half siblings. Kyle Broflovski has no idea that Kevin and Karen are his cousins.
Karen is so attached to her new older brothers because she’s terrified of being sent away again. She’s really scared to approach Kyle Schwartz even though she really misses her lame older half brother. Kevin is also a very sweet older brother to Kyle but they’ve both been forbidden from interacting with him at all and it breaks their hearts because they miss their half sibling.
So my favorite Kyle Schartz headcanon is: He’s able to rekindle his sibling relationship with Karen and Kevin and they’re happy and cute and Kenny can join in and the four of them are sweet together.
To simplify a bit:
Kevin and Karen are full siblings (Stuart x Alya’s children)
Kenny is the only child of Stuart x Carol (Carol loves all her children and Karen is actually her favorite because she’s always wanted a little girl)
Kyle Schwartz is the son of Murray Schwartz and Alya (gerald’s sister)
Kyle Broflovski’s cousins are: Kevin, Kyle, and Karen
Kenny is half siblings with Kevin and Karen.
#originally geralds last name was schwartz#and alya kept her maiden name bc of how awful shit went with stuart#but thats optional#thats why i had the stuff about sheila being a broflovski#but i kept that part because i still think it fits#btw k2 still happens and kyle is initially FREAKED OUT to learn kenny might be his cousin#but then he figures out that it isnt the case and he's very relieved#except kenny is a troll so he always makes kissing cousin jokes and kyle DOES NOT FIND IT FUNNY
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