#Im shaking I love him so much oh my god I'm gonna explode I need to eat him AHHHHHHH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkseas · 1 year

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[parasocial bestie] to both responses on ur wip fics; i'm not a writer myself, like in a fic way altho i pour my brainrots out in a narrative way its a Mess, but i get what you mean!! it does feel like the more you stretch a story out there's bound to be a lot of loose ends and gaps you need to fill since you basically expanded it. in a way its how it is with drawing when you do big Big projects, having too much blank spaces over your main subjects without a decent background of the piece can get Annoying.

"i have my overall goal and less of an idea of how to reach it" OKAY BUT PERSONALLY? not even gonna relate genshin than my own original stories i always have this problem and still do, like. having a Beginning and End but literally almost no middle bc theres SO MUCH TO FILL and you have to think how it progresses chronologically And logically how it reaches the ending you imagined. it felt easy, it felt nice and 'complete', until you think of the middle and thats how i have stories that never finishes itself and stick to just throwing ideas around but unsure to put it as its canon or not o)-( so yeah!! the closest i can understand of a Process especially to long narratives.

ANYWAY THE,.... THE LUMINE ZHONGI @XIAO LYRICS,.... when hte,... when the UHUHUHUHUHUHSUHGUFHGUHUGSUDHFSKFHSKDJH

oh. yeah. i realized i did sorta sent a Bunch of brainrot BUT LIKE PREE MUCH EVERYTHGIN I HAD RELATED TO UM,.. AKFJHD THE XIAO DYING ONE OOPS cus,..... becus ughuhfjfdhgk its like a Big fav for me and am curious (and now i am a lil embarrassed JKAFHSDKFJH) and anyways i have a lot of Impulsive Brainrot Showers,....... scattered in that big one i told u cus of the Potential,....

also ill have u know during the recovery after xiao woke he can be a little cold bc the incident rlly shot down his physical constitution to nature so lumine covers him in a lil blanket over his shoulders that he can walk around with and that imagery is probably an Icon that represents the whole brainrot in general. blanket taco burrito xiao i think. anyway lumine got bored and did crochet, taught xiao how since its easier than knitting that thoma taught her, and the guy spent hours continuously crochetting a sheet like probably miles long till late at night bc lumine forgot teach him how to End the stitching. sweet lovely dumbass <3333

yes yes the expansion and more gaps to fill !!! that def makes sense with art too we are shaking hands rn... and idk when you have the filler/details planned beforehand it can be SO fun but when youre struggling to fill in the gaps. well. Fawk

admittedly cannot relate too too much with having a beginning and end, 80% of the time when i write i start from the middle there's just So Much Middle and then i dont know what goes where or how to connect it or what to make the beginning or end and and. explodes. actually tbf i have a solid beginning idea for both current wips and a half-decent ending for one of them but god help me figure out how the FUCK im gonna end the xiaolumi one i havent even thought about it yet it could honestly go on forever <- my worst nightmare.... stories that are never finished my BELOATHED i definitely get that god we are shaking hands once more

THAT'S ONE OF MY RLY OLD FAVORITE SONGS ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO. xiao when he sees himself as an object or a tool or a weapon or something horrible but never really a Person and the song captures that so well when you think of him and the uckfingfg.f the fuckifngfg.

explodes and dies

THE XIAO DYING ONE GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD hold on finishing responding to this first

cold man with a blanket over his shoulders what if i Cried. that is so perfect in every way shape and form dear LORD. and lumi teaching him crochet and forgetting to teach him how to end the stitching is both so cute and so fucking funny dear lord this poor man sitting there for hours going on and on and on........

XIAO ALMOST DYING. GOD.

i have too many thoughts on death and near death and grief. something about xiao not allowing himself to grieve or process that he'd really been dead for a moment there because he survived, it's in the past, what is there to worry about? what is there to think of? it doesnt matter anymore. lumine struggling to come to terms with how close it was, constantly pushing back the what-ifs, if she'd been sooner if she'd been later if she hadn't been able to help him the way she did if zhongli hadn't come if if if if. zhongli, so accustomed to deaths of those so dear to him and moving forward from it, still shaken to the core because no matter how many times it happens you never really get used to it. it doesnt ever get easier. similar to xiao, telling himself over and over that it doesnt matter, all that matters is that xiao is okay, there's no need to grieve or be upset when he's alright. it's pointless.

lumine (and paimon) (and probably also venti lbr) bonking them both on the head because its important to process your emotions, because the fact that xiao isnt dead doesn't just magically get rid of the fear and the grief that the situation created. yes we Are talking about our feelings you stupid fucks ignoring the elephant in the room will not make the elephant in the room disappear. ignoring your feelings will not make them vanish it will only allow them to fester and grow stronger and more destructive!!!!

you'd think that people who've been alive for thousands of years wouldve learned how to express themselves by now but lumine and venti have to really push them through it.

and idk. just. the physical repercussions and what that means for him mentally. the intense feelings of self hate and uselessness amplified by being stuck in bed, amplified by being unable to move and fight and function the way he used to, having to relearn such "basic" things. he would be SO hard on himself about it. he should be better than this, he shouldve avoided it, it never shouldve happened in the first place, he should be recovering faster (nevermind that he is recovering exceptionally quickly in the first place, all things considered. just adepti things). and working through all of that, working through the frustration and the helplessness, being shown endless patience and love and care through it all, i just. mmmmmmmmmmmmmgmnfmngmfngmfdgnmg fuck.

finding himself useful and kept around and maybe even cared for as a tool vs being very suddenly forced to face the reality that even when he cannot fulfill his duty, even when he cant fight, even when he has no "use" and cant fulfill what he sees as his purpose- he's alive. he's cared for. he's loved and learning and moving forward regardless.

#im going to explode #parasocial bestie tag

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seabass17 · 3 years

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All that’s left | Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.

All that's left pt. 1

Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?

Word count: 3.263

Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?

*Three months later*

The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.

“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.

“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.

“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.

He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God, I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.

“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.

“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.

“What is it?” i asked.

“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.

“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.

“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said

“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked

“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?

“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.

“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled

“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.

“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded

“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.

Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.

*10 hours earlier*

Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.

Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.

“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.

Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.

“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.

“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.

“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.

“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.

“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.

"It's different" Tony said

“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.

Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.

“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.

The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.

“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.

Breathe. In… and out…

It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.

“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.

“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.

“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.

“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.

“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.

“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.

“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.

“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him

“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.

“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him

“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”

“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.

“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.

“What about the rest of us y/n?” Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.

“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.

“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.

“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”

Thor was standing completely still.

“Lady y/n…”

“How is it possible? I was there and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.

“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.

“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.

“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me

I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.

“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.

“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.

“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.

“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said

“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.

“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that, I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.

He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.

“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said

“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him

“You’ll see”

Taglist

@silentkiller2374 @vikingqueenlove @girlfriday007 @supraveng

#avengers #bucky x reader #steve x bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #steve rogers #natasha romonova #tony stark #the red room #wanda maximoff #marvel #imagines #hydra

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 3 years

Text

the lift.

STEVE ROGERS. MARVEL. ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ request by anon: Girl I love that we must watch all the same things because your masterlist is heaven!! I love all the characters lol Can I request an imagine for reader x Steve Rogers where the reader is an avenger but her and Bucky are super close where everyone thinks they’re together, but it’s platonic. Reader and Steve have massive crushes on each other, but are two idiots who don’t realize it. The team has to help hem figure it out?? Or you can switch them around it you want. I love Steve and Bucky equally 🤷‍♀️

❝ request by anon: Hey girl! Awww yah! Requests are open 🎉 Can I request something for Steve Rogers? Maybe a prompt of “You came to my room at 4am...to cuddle?" I’m a sucker for Steve so honestly anything you write is fine 😅

❝ words: about 1k.

❝ a / n: don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

“This is a bad idea, sir”.

The metallic voice from F.R.I.D.A.Y. speaks throughout the living room. Even she knows that locking you and Steven inside the lift isn't going to help you to realize what you feel for each other.

“Sh…” Stark utters before taking a sip from his glass of whisky.

All the Avengers are there. Natasha has made popcorn to share with Bruce, while Pepper is trying to persuade his husband to stop, asking Bucky for help. But he just shrugs in her direction.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” The captain asks resting his waist against the railing, placing his hands there too.

“Nope. I think I'm just… gonna order some food and have a quiet night”. You shake your head, holding a S.H.I.E.L.D. file closer to your chest. “Why? You have another option?”

“Nope”. He imitates you with a soft grimace, almost giggling. “Sounds good to me, ma'am”.

“Oh, so, will I be blessed with your presence, Capta—”.

You can't finish the joke when the lift shakes slightly by stopping. A loud roar turns the lights inside red. Steve walks to the control, hitting every button on it as if this gesture could make it work again. And you're starting to sweat. You have claustrophobia and suddenly these four walls feel too close to each other. Like, really close.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” He exclaims once and again before turning at you, hyperventilating sitting on the floor. “Hey, hey, hey! Are you okay?”

“I ca— I can't breathe, Steve”. You barely babble.

“Okay, okay, don't panic. It's okay”. Keeping as much calm as he can, the soldier removes the file from your hands to take off your jacket.

“Let the lift fall a little”. Tony casually pronounces the command to his A.I., making everyone in the room turn at him.

The lift falls a little. And the whole damn city can hear you screaming. Steve is on the verge of his nerves, standing up to try to force the doors and open them. You may be somewhere between the twentieth and the twenty-first floor. But they feel like both are hermetically closed.

“Hello? Anybody hear us?” The Captain screams from the bottom of his lungs, palming and hitting the walls.

“God, I'm gonna die”. You whisper in tears, causing your friend to kneel again close to you.

He doesn't doubt taking you into his strong arms, maneuvering to sit on the floor and put you onto his laps, tightly wrapping you against his chest. Steve rocks you, wanting you to calm down and to not think where you are, nor what's happening. He has protected and comforted you before, but this time where not even F.R.I.D.A.Y. is responding, you know it's the end. And you don't want to die in silence.

“I love you”. You sob, hiding your face under his jaw, gripping your fingers in his shirt.

He laughs quietly, leaving a kiss on top of your head. “I love you too”.

He hasn't understood you.

“I love you, Steve”. You repeat the confession. “I don't wan— wanna… die without telling you”.

“Don't be dramatic”. He scoffs, not replying to what you have just said.

Stark never thought it wouldn't happen this fast, but now, everybody is celebrating your revelation.

“Can you, for the love of God, take them out of there?" Pepper almost begs, knowing how bad do you feel in closed spaces.

“Just… one minute else”.

The excuse they gave you both was that they were training and minding their own business. But the A.I. is everywhere, so at least you don't believe them. And you can't stop thinking about what you told Steve. He hasn't acted weird after it, probably imagining it has been part of the moment. But it's not.

Getting up from your bed, not being able to sleep, you tour the long hallways to his dorm. Taking a deep breath as you notice the light under the door, you come closer to knock it. Walking inside and closing the room behind your back, you rest it against the iron door. The soldier is lying on his mattress, reading a book about Sherlock Holmes. But the story is left in the background when he raises his eyes towards you and a funny grimace appears on his face.

“You came to my room at fou—”.

“I was serious”. You interrupt him with a firm tone. Swallowing, you close your eyes to find the encouragement to repeat your words somehow. “I'm in love with you, Steve. Ever since”.

His gesture suddenly disappears, causing you to tremble a little. But before you can continue speaking, he tosses the sheets by his side over him to palm the bed. In silence, you walk straight to it slowly, hesitating. As soon as his arms can surround you, he pushes you onto his chest, tucking you there. He didn't believe the excuse Stark gave you either. It wasn't a coincidence.

“I love you too”. He whispers, not like a secret, but only wanting you to hear his —surprisedly— honeyed voice. “I can't even explain what you make me feel, but you complete me in the most perfect way. And I was good being your friend. I can't anymore now”.

Steve is aware he doesn't need vocal permission to kiss you, bringing his lips to yours. You don't hold back a soft sigh, leaving a hand on his chest and landing the other on his neck. At first, you don't have any rush. You take your time tasting each other's lips until he finds your tongue with his and something explodes within your guts. Soon the two of you are breathless, needed for more, pawing and exploring your anatomies under your clothes.

“I want to make you mine”. The soldier growls against your mouth, settling himself between your legs to shorten any kind of distance, losing the shame that still characterizes him sometimes.

“And, what are you waiting for, Captain?” You gasp tangling your fingers into the golden locks of hair.

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itoshit · 3 years

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'Ken? What are you doing here that late?'

'Emma, could I speak to you for a minute?'

Worry and apprehension on Emma's face, she nodded and brought me on her bed.

'Tell me Ken, I'm listening'

With a reassuring smile she encouraged me to speak but at that moment I didn't know where to start.

'I can't give you what you want. I wasn't sure at first but now I know, I don't feel the same way as you do. You and I, us, we weren't meant to be. I honestly thought that it was before but now I know. My heart belongs to someone else. I'm so sorry because I gave you hope for nothing at the end but-'

'Who...? Who do you love Ken?'

Her voice cracking while tears were forming in her eyes, I couldn't bear the sight. Hurting Emma was the last thing I wanted.

'I don't think-'

'Please tell me Ken. I need to know who stole your heart first?'

'... Vee'

Only sighting she wiped the tears away while keeping her gaze low.

'I knew it... I just knew it. It was too good to be true'

'What d'you mean?'

As I was approaching my hand to hers Emma slapped my hand harshly and stood up.

'Don't touch me Draken. You lost this privilege'

'Emma...'

'Emma what?? Were you aware of your feelings when we got together?? Did you know you wanted her instead of me? Maybe you were secretly picturing her when you were kissing me?'

'No I didn't! Because I realised my feelings today! That's why I'm here, because I don't want to hold you back forever while my soul is destined to somebody else! That's all!!'

Now sobbing louder than before Emma turned her back to me. Her figure shaking at each sob leaving her body made my heart sting.

'I've been loving you since kids, Draken. I've always loved you. From the very first time we've met my heart beat for you and only you. I've never thought you would return my feelings but during these past few months I was finally hoping. You were so nice and warm to my presence. I could see the adoration in your eyes each time Vee was brought on the table and I hoped you were talking about me with the same strength and passion. When we kissed for the first time, my body was ready to explode and I was seeing the bright future I wished to have with you. And now you're telling me that we won't have that...? Never...?'

Standing up and walking to her I brought her into my arms. Emma nuzzled her face in my chest and I knew that my hoodie would be drenched. But I didn't care.

'Emma, I love you. Sincerely, I do love you. Hey look at me'

Caging her face between my hands forcing her to look at me, I wiped the tears away with my thumbs.

'I just don't love you the same way as you do'

'And you love her like I do with you'

I was hurt to see her like this.

'Yes, yes I do.'

'Will you be happy with her? Are you sure she will bring you everything you need...?'

'I'm 200% sure of it'

'That's too much!'

Both chuckling at her comment while she sniffled loudly, she looked at me deeply.

'Can you... can you hug me one last time, please?'

'Of course, come here'

The embrace felt like farewells somehow and by the way Emma was holding me, she felt it too.

'Please don't get out of my life Ken, I need you and will always do'

Pressing her closer I kissed the top of her head, stroking her back.

'I never thought of leaving, you're stuck with me'

'Okay... thank you. I'm better now. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. So just, go back to her alright? She must be waiting for you'

'You're the best Emma, I love you!'

After our discussion I briefly explained to Mikey everything and himself looked relieved.

Biding the Sano family goodnight I got on my motorbike and drove away.

I didn't call you yet because I wanted to surprise you. I knew you were waiting for me so you were still awake. That way we could also, maybe, finish what we've started before.

Stopping at a random traffic lights I heard motorbike engine behind me. I didn't give much thought about it at first because owning a motorbike was pretty common in Tokyo, especially around Shibuya.

'And what do we have here...? The infamous Ken Ryuguji! Hey Hanma, that's him right?'

Raising an eyebrow under my helmet visor I scoffed at the view.

Shuji Hanma and four other men, all with bats on their motorbikes.

'Yo Ken-chin, what would you say if I broke your leg hm?'

Tightening my grip on the motorcycle handlebars, I cursed.

'What d'you want Hanma? I'm busy'

'Shouldn't we take somewhere more private? Let's park'

I knew he wouldn't let go before obtaining what he wanted, so I decided to follow him and the others.

Spatting some blood I was on my knees, clutching my stomach.

The bastard reopened the wound.

'Oi why are you so slow tonight? Is it because I saw your pretty bestfriend earlier? Jealous much?'

His chuckle disgusted me.

'Shut the-'

But as I was standing up one of his friends hit me in the face, probably breaking my nose.

Blood pouring profusely from it I could feel consciousness slipping through my fingers. Blow after blow my body fell limply on the ground.

Sorry Vee, seems like I won't get to see you tonight.

-Draken

OKAY TELL ME ABOUT YOUR IDEA CONCERING MIKEY'S THOUGH? BC IM AFRAID I DONT HAVE TOO MUCH IN MIND RN

OH MY GOD— MAN I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE HAPPY!!!!

I sigh reading the digital clock on my bedside table. It’s been hours since he left, and Ken still hasn’t shown any signs of life. Ugly feelings stir in my gut no matter how much I try to push them away.

What if… he didn’t mean it?

What if what he felt for me was just lust? That as soon as he saw Emma, all that love came flooding back into him?

Grabbing my phone, I click his contact name and put the receiver to my ear. I couldn’t survive on what ifs. They’d drown me. I had to know the truth of the matter, accept whatever the outcome of the situation was. It rings once, twice and a third time before it reaches voicemail. I frown. Ken’s phone was always on him, always charged.

I try and call again, same thing.

I don’t know how to feel, or what to think. I’m ready to go storm the brothel myself and demand answers, when my phone suddenly rings. I answer it without looking, already thinking it’s Ken.

Ken Ryūguji where are you?

Vee, a voice comes through the speaker, much lighter than Ken’s and sounding very, very panicked.

Mikey, is Ken still with you? I’ve been trying to call him and he hasn’t been answering his phone.

Vee, we’re at the hospital. Ken’s been attacked.

The phone slips out of my fingers, falling to the ground as my stomach sinks.

#🗝; citizen #🗝; draken #🗝; chronicles of vee: vol. 2 #concerning mikey #don’t worry baby!#just know there won’t be anymore fighting between them ^.^#we been through too much these last couple days #my sad baby needs no more stress… for now #DAMMIT HANMA GO TO HELL #I WAS JUST ABOUT TO WIN AND HERE U GO #RUINING SHIT

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