#If Kurogane was stuck in Anger | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

completeoveranalysis · 6 months

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[2]

Following directly on from the last page of the previous chapter we’re talking about Evil Wolverine’s wish and I LOVE what they do with it here. They frame it as so natural and understandable - a goal that, actually, our entire cast not only sympathises with but already spent part of their own lives already chasing.

And it’s framed visually here with Fai and Kurogane on the outside and their lost loved ones between them. We have Kurogane’s parents up top, smiling happily in his memory - and the climax of Kurogane’s backstory was him REFUSING to let them go. He went completely feral and attacked anyone who went near him. He had to be shot with a laser beam before he could be coaxed into realising he had to let them go. It’s very easy to see how he would understand the raw emotion behind wanting to bring someone back, especially if you never really let go of that all-consuming grief. Like Evil Wolverine, Kurogane did not hold back from hurting others in that grief, for a while.

And below that we have Fai’s brother, by contrast looking ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE in Fai’s memory - reflecting the suffering they went through but also the part of Fai that spent so long fixated on changing what had happened. Fai spent his whole life from that moment working towards a very similar wish to Evil Wolverine’s - to bring his brother back, but in a much more self destructive way. He hated the fact that he survived, tricked into thinking he had killed his brother, and so wanted to switch places. He was also tasked with killing Kurogane to make it happen. And this was the core of his personality for hundreds of years. So of course he gets it - he got it from minute one. When Evil Wolverine showed up in the pit Fai had already guessed his motivation on the spot.

Between them both you can get a rough approximation of what Evil Wolverine is willing to do for this same wish - so caught up in it that he’s willing to do anything, to hurt anyone it takes, to spend hundreds of years working on it, never letting up from that core of grief. But the difference is that Fai and Kurogane both changed. They found love elsewhere, and eventually grew to accept that love. They realised what they were doing and, slowly and with difficulty, knew they had to move on. As much as they missed their loved ones they discovered they had worth elsewhere and could do more good for the living than the dead.

Not Evil Wolverine though! He specifically chose the “fuck the living!” option and has spent his life destroying and manipulating other people into his very same grief on purpose to get what he wants.

I think you could get a lot out of Evil Wolverine specifically using grief to control people. He kills their loved ones in front of them in order to force them to do what he wants - because it’s the only feeling he understands. He lives his life consumed by that grief, so the only way he knows to get people on his side is to make then the same as him. It’s his only tactic.

It just wasn’t strong enough to work on Fai and Kurogane. It was BRUTAL and wrecked their entire lives but they still found the strength to let go of the stage of grief that Evil Wolverine refuses to let go of.

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yououui · 2 years

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hi, I just wanted to say, I really really enjoy your writing, it's just so beautiful and I feel like you capture the characters (Fai and Kurogane) very well. I think people usually get Fai better, but Kurogane I'm more particular about. He's got that whole Shinobi code of honor thing going for him, so when he chooses someone he's loyal to a fault and I feel like you capture that aspect of him so well.

Are you still doing the hurt/comfort prompts? How about "Here, hold my hand" but one of them is touch starved?

thank you sweet anon ;; that means the world to me. here's some angst in exchange <3

Perhaps Fai never noticed just how much he relied on physical contact because it was always second nature. He had spent so much time alone in the pit, surrounded by death he did not want to feel with his own hands. The first time he felt warmth from another person was when he held his brother, and even then, he’d grown colder by the second.

And then Ashura appeared. That first contact, his large hand reaching out for Fai, had been like a comforting blanket that warmed him from the inside out and muffled the rest of the world. The first time Ashura hugged him, Fai wanted to hold on tighter and tighter until he could hardly breathe and then still, he would never let go.

And since then, it was something he never had to ask for. Ashura was a lingering presence, always there to stroke Fai’s back when he fell asleep studying or pat his head when he’d done well. Chii curled up next to Fai like a content kitten, cuddling close for hours as a silent comfort while he sat and visited his brother. He had constant suitors, men and women alike that wanted to dance with him or sneak him away to dark corners. He indulged them sometimes just for the warmth they provided.

When the journey began, that all changed, but the warmth was still there in other ways. Sakura would glue herself to Fai’s side—when she wasn’t with Syaoran, that is—to learn from him. He’d take her hand to lead her along dark paths as they traveled or huddle with her under his coat when they were stuck in cold weather. Syaoran, being a nervous wreck of a teenage boy, got a bit more flustered by such close contact, but Fai didn’t miss the pleased look in his eyes when he got a supportive ruffle of his hair or a comforting hand cupping his cheek. Mokona, of course, was Mokona, and Fai often had her atop his head or pressed against his neck as she hid in his clothes.

Even Kurogane provided that sense of comfort, though maybe he didn’t realize it. Each time Fai teasingly threw his hands around Kurogane in a mocking hug, or Kurogane grabbed his arm to pull him from danger, Fai was satiated until the next brief contant. Even the subtle touches against the back of Fai’s hand or wrist to warn of a potential threat without alerting the children sent sparks of warmth dancing across his skin.

So no, Fai never realized how important touch was to him until it was gone. Until the boy they’d been traveling with gouged out his eye and disappeared and their little family was fractured. The new Syaoran—the real one—kept his distance. He didn’t feel comfortable stepping into his clone’s place. Sakura was broken-hearted and the one in need of comforting, so when Fai took her hand to lead her to bed or helped her brush her hair, it was for her sake, not his. And Mokona, well, she tried, but such a little thing couldn’t do much to satisfy the aching emptiness that covered Fai’s entire body.

And though he touched Kurogane the most now, it was different. Now, it was cold. The only warmth came from the blood that ran down Kurogane’s skin and Fai’s throat, and it made him sick. It didn’t bring him comfort or satisfaction, just anger. It made him want to scream and apologize and run away.

But he couldn’t do that, could he?

“Ouch, damn it—”

Fai rubbed his nose after banging into yet another tree. The world they’d landed in was dark, a world of illusions manipulated by Sakura’s feather. It was so bad, it even screwed with Mokona’s transportation spell—while it looked like they had landed in the same spot, once the illusion took over, they realized they were so far from the kids and Mokona that they couldn’t even understand each other.

The forest they were walking through was like a house of mirrors. What looked like a clear path would send them tumbling into pits or slam them straight into tree trunks.

Kurogane murmured something in his language, probably some patronizing “be careful” that made Fai’s face flare hot in annoyance and a bit of embarrassment. Of course, the ninja had yet to be tricked. Any time the illusion was about to twist his senses, he would stop, reassess, and change course.

Fai rubbed his red nose and waited for Kurogane to continue. Kurogane glanced around, then nodded in a direction. Fai followed, but even when right behind Kurogane, the spell tricked his senses and before he knew it, he was off track and the ground was crumbling away beneath his feet. A strong hand on his arm yanked him back up before he could fall into the unknown and he was met with an angry, why didn’t you follow me? kind of glare.

“It’s not my fault,” Fai said, pulling himself out of Kurogane’s grasp to stubbornly cross his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

Kurogane sighed and held out a hand with a short command. “Hold my hand.” Fai knew that was what he said even if he couldn’t understand it.

Fai glared at the offering like it was a personal offense. Kurogane sighed again, annoyed this time, and gestured between them while saying something else. “If we hold onto each other, it won’t be able to trick you into going the wrong way,” he probably said.

Kurogane’s eyes practically glowed in the dark forest, two red suns that did too good of a job leading Fai astray silently saying that Fai knew he was right. The illusion could trick his eyes into following a mirage of Kurogane or walking into a tree, but it was only an image. It could not replicate the feeling of the hand held out to him. Fai let out an angry little huff and shoved his hand out to grab Kurogane's, perhaps a bit too forcefully. In contrast, Kurogane’s fingers curled gently around Fai’s, as if to say, I won’t force you to stay but I’m here if you need me.

Fai suddenly felt like a child again. He was bigger now, yet his hand still felt so small when wrapped in Kurogane’s warmth. Fai stared at the point of contact as Kurogane led him through the forest. They would walk, stop, turn, walk some more. Fai put his full trust into Kurogane to lead them to safety, to take him away.

Fai found himself holding Kurogane’s hand back, his fingers trembling as he felt the cold that had spread through his body with the vampire’s blood slowly fade as warmth spread from Kurogane to his hand, his wrist, his arm, his very heart. He felt Kurogane squeeze his hand, a silent reassurance, and for the briefest of moments, the anxiety that had been plaguing Fai for the last few weeks began to dissipate. He didn’t even mind being stuck in these woods, all for that bit of human contact.

As soon as he thought it, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been thrown over him. The only warmth he felt came from Kurogane’s hand, but now it felt like a burning reminder of what not to do. Fai stopped and yanked his hand free. Kurogane turned to look at him curiously and, without meeting those red eyes, Fai waved a hand in front of him, a misty blue aura surrounding it and then spreading through the forest. Like a ripple in water, the illusion disappeared as the aura of Fai’s magic spread, leaving behind a less confusing and dreary wood.

“...Should you be doing that?” Kurogane asked quietly.

Fai glanced at him. “Seems the others are nearby,” he said, ignoring the question that was asked. “No, actually, I don’t think they were ever far. The illusion caused by Sakura’s feather must have been getting in the way of Mokona’s translation spell, to make us think we were farther than we really were. Come on.”

Fai turned and began walking towards the kids and Mokona. It took a moment, but he eventually heard Kurogane’s quiet footsteps as he followed silently. He stayed a safe distance behind; he was always annoyingly perceptive. No doubt he knew that Fai didn’t want him that close.

Only that wasn’t true, was it? The way Fai’s hand itched to be surrounded by that lost warmth was proof enough.

Fai pushed the feeling down, clenching his hands into tight fists and walking faster to put even more distance between them as the cold set back in.

#kurofai

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kyoko0001 · 5 years

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Please share and use these!

5 More KuroFai stories I want to read and will have to write if no one does it for me!

1 ~ We all know Kurogane is sorta the rock of the TRC family but just like the rest of them he is dealing with the serious emotional trauma. By dealing with I mean he isnt. Can we talk for a second about how Kurogane got sent away for MURDERING PEOPLE? Sure they were challenging him/putting Princess Tomoyo in danger but even the other ninja (who have the same freaking job) Thought he had a problem. Guys thats fucked uuuuup! I want a story where Fai helps Kurogane realize that he has some serious anger issues and anxieties and just sorta drinks his feeling away with booze. I’ve always wanted to write a scene where perhaps after a battle where Kurogane almost isn't able to protect Syaoran or Sakura, he just has all these emotions he doesn't know what to do with and snaps at Fai (I would actually love it if Kurogane separates himself from everyone to get a grip and Fai find’s him crying/on the verge of a panic attack) I would love for Fai to read our favorit grumpy ninja like an open book and tell him its ok to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even like your failing because your’re only human and just sorta have a little therapy session because Fai might not be able to fix his own problems but he’s good with other peoples. bonus points if Fai just sorta lets Kurogane lay his head in his lap/on his chest and talk while he lets his hair.

2 ~ Im a slut for a good Yama fic. (there are an alarming amount that make Fai out to be a total wimp and have to many elements of noncon/dubcon for my taste) So stick with me here lol. We know a heck of a lot more about what Kurogane’s world is like vs. Fai’s. We know that Kurogane lived in Suwa till he was a young teen and his mother and father died then he went to the capital and served as a ninja. I dont think we ever see him in an actual army army though? As for Fai we have no idea. We just know he has a lot of fighting experience and the only other character we know of from his world is pulled out of RG Veda which was full of warrior clans/armies/wars so my view of Celese has always been heavily influenced by that. I would loooove a fic where Fai adjusts to life in Yasha’s war camp with surprising ease and the entire time they go though the 6 months its just reminder after reminder of home for him but in a good way? Like King Ashura is the ‘god of war/destruction’ in RG veda and the whole ‘curse to go mad’ thing is super similar to RG veda plot lines so idk I cant help myself. I just picture him learning how to use magic and growing up on a battle field with Ashura raising him in an insanely irresponsible way so the mess tents, the bathing situation, the training and drills all remind him of some happy memories of Celese before everything went to shit. bonus points if he enjoys not having to fake smile and talk to anyone. extra bonus points if as soon as they are alone Fai babbles in his own language to Kurogane to get those feelings off his chest.

3 ~ I would love to read a fic where Fai and Kurogane are not a ‘thing’ yet. Like Fai knows he is totally attracted to Kurogane but isnt willing to cross that line and Kurogane thinks Fai is hot as hell but he doesn't want to get involved so they both totally ignore it till they get to a world where they run into versions of themselves that are totally grossly PDA-ie in love love and see them macking on each other. (or you know... they get separated and this worlds Kurogane grabs Fai’s butt because he totally mistook him or the other way around) and eventually the two pairs of them sit down and have a talk about ‘I cant believe you guys are married/I cant believe you guys arn’t married’ bonus points if it ends with Kurogane and Fai sleeping together for the first time and its adorable and sweet and awkwardly perfect.

4 ~ I would love a fic where Fai gets Bronchitis or a chest cold and is just coughing his brains out and Kuroagne cannot stand it because it reminds him of how his mother was sick with (I think it was tuberculosis right?) and he is just stuck to Fai and fretting over him. bonus points if he has to leave Fai for some reason and has one of those ‘his heart suddenly stopped’ when he gets home and the house is stone cold quite but that’s because Fai is taking a nap.

5 ~ I would love an AU where Fai comes to Suwa with his twin who specializes in healing magic to give Lady Suwa a brake and Kurogane is like 6-7 and falls stupidly head over heels for Fai after he sees him kick ass against the demons as though it were nothing and ends up following him around like a puppy and begs for Fai to teach him how to use magic to. Of course Fai humors him even though Kurogane has almost no magic and could never pull it off and they make some wonderful memories untill its time for Fai to go back to his own country. Time passes and Kergry grows up and goes with his father to attend a wedding int he neighboring kingdom and who does he see? Well Fai of course!! (he isn’t the one getting married) and Fai is just blow away by how handsome Kuro-chan is now that he is all grown up. Fai having powerful magic hasnt changed much and they have a heck of a night at the wedding. Bonus points if there is something that happens at the wedding like an attack or skirmish of some sort and Fai ends up lossing his eyes and Kurogane agrees to become his prey without a second thought so now they both are stuck together for ever and ever. the classic boy meets boy--boy losses boy--boy meets boy again and refuses to loose him--and boy and boy learn to trust and love each other!!

#Kurofai #prompts #Kyoko rambles

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mhbwrites · 6 years

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21 with Kurofai for the kids meme 😁

You mean kiss right lol21. And then there’s tongue(This got a lot longer than I was planning, so putting it under a readmore)

Kurogane stood in the doorway to his family’s private bath, eyes locked on the figure sitting in the pool of water, back facing him and golden hair floating around the pale body before him. A hand lifted from the water, moving to move and lift blonde hair over a shoulder and red eyes traced the line of the back.

Fai’s been around for as long as Kurogane could remember, never aging, never changing, always there with a teasing smile and a fierce loyalty to his father that some of the other men under his control didn’t show. Growing up, he’s heard all sorts of rumors about the man, that he was a fae, come to snatch the children of the village away and that was how he kept young, or that he was some angel sent down to protect them in their time of trouble so long ago and just decided he hadn’t wanted to leave.

Either way, he stuck around and either way, he’s found one way or another to get on Kurogane’s nerves. All his life Fai had been giving him ridiculous nicknames, ruffling his hair when passing him in the halls, and teasing him every chance he got. He hated it, hated how easily the man (fae? creature?) could rile him up and he hated the part of himself that enjoyed the attention. Ever since he was fourteen, every teasing smile would cause his heart to speed up in his chest, each ruffle of his hair would make his face flush, which would inevitably lead to more teasing. Every time he tries to push these feelings down, shove them away, they’d come back stronger than ever, and trying to redirect them towards someone else yielded the same results.

Luckily for him, he hadn’t gotten better at hiding these feelings, and was able to act normally around Fai, even if his normal resulted in a lot of yelling and throwing things at him. He had been working on controlling his temper though, his father advised him he’d never be a good leader if he couldn’t stay calm in stressful situations.

“It’s rude to stare you know.”

Kurogane lifted his gaze from the small of Fai’s back up to meet playful blue and he took a step further into the room, sliding the door shut behind him. “Wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in here.” Liar, his mind hissed at him, but he quickly pushed it down. So what if he wanted to spend a little time alone with the man?

“Did you want to be alone?” Fai asked, making to stand but a raised hand from Kurogane stopped him. He raised an eyebrow, but sunk back down into the warm water. A teasing smile pulled at his lips as he watched the other man disrobed, moving to lean back against the edge of the pool. “Hyuu~ Looks like little Kuro is all grown up. You used to hate having someone else in the bath with you.”

Kurogane felt his ears heat up as anger crept up, but he quickly pushed it down. He wouldn’t snap... Wouldn’t get angry. He wanted to prove that he could be alone with this enchanting creature without losing his temper, even if it was just proving it to himself.

They sat quietly as they both just relaxed in the water, Fai humming softly, letting his eyes slip closed and Kurogane took the time to admire the other man, never really getting the chance to look for long. At a glance, he looked soft, delicate, almost breakable, but he knew from experience that underneath that softness was lean muscle, quick reflexes and knack for fighting. His fingers itched to trace along Fai’s face, down his arms, along his sides, to feel that strength for himself, to memorize it for when he was alone, but he couldn’t, shouldn’t, no matter how much he longed to.

“You’re staring again. You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

Kurogane was barely able to stop himself from flinching back when Fai suddenly appeared before him, a teasing smile on his lip and amusement sparkling in his eyes. He opened his mouth to deny it, but the words died in his throat by a finger pressed to his lips.

“Could it be you want something from me? Maybe something you want to say?” Fai tilted his head, leaning a little closer and it took all Kurogane had not to lean back from the sudden closeness. “Or... Could it be you want something else from me? Like maybe, a kiss?”

Before Kurogane could deny it, before the part that did want it could even voice a complaint about him denying it, his head was being tilted back, one of Fai’s soft hands tilting his chin up, the other sliding around to thread his fingers through his hair, and lips were being pressed to his. He did try to make a small noise of complaint, even if it did sound more of an agreement, and he could feel himself melting into the kiss.

It was everything he ever imagined it to be, not that it was something he’d ever admit to thinking about before. Fai’s lips were soft, the pressure firm, and Kurogane didn’t hesitate to kiss back, chin tilting up to change the angle. Fai shifted a little closer, legs coming to rest on either side of Kurogane’s body, and his fingers twitched, hands lifting to rest on slim hips without conscious thought.

Fai hummed softly, watching him with half-lidded eyes, and just when Kurogane thought the kiss couldn’t be any more enjoyable, Fai gently bit on his lip and, oh, that was his tongue. A sudden flash of hot want twisted strong in his stomach, but before he could even more to pull Fai closer, to deepen the kiss, to bring this to something more, he was pulling away.

“I think you have a little more growing up to do before you’re ready for something like that.” His smile was teasing, his eyes sparkling, and he pressed a kiss to Kurogane’s nose before moving away and stepping out of the pool.

Kurogane watched him, eyes greedily tracing over every inch of pale skin it could, the words stuck in his throat. He wanted to tell him to stay, to kiss him again, anything, but he wouldn’t force him. Maybe he was right, maybe now wasn’t the right time for this. He’d be patient though, and when the time came, he’d be ready.

#kurofai #kurogane #fai d. flourite #tsubasa reservoir chronicle #tsubasa fanfiction #wingprincess32

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kurogabae · 7 years

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i was tagged by @cutiepie-tro let’s do this shit

1) Name/nickname: my name’s Maryssa but you can call me Ryssa or some variation of mom

2) Gender: a fucking lady

3) Star sign: LEO

4) Height: 5′9

5) Hogwarts House: GO GO GRYFFINDOR

6) Favourite animal: cepholopods!!! but shit also uh lions and bats and frogs and dinosaurs

7) Hours of sleep: more

8) Dogs or cats: yes

9) Number of blankets: in the winter three. at least. it’d be the same in summer if i wouldn’t die of heat stroke.

10) Dream trip: let me kiss the moon. if we’re talking realm of reality i guess uhh ireland. maybe just a trip across europe and asia

11) Dream job: middle school teacher in a school system that doesn’t drain the life out of everyone it comes in contact with

12) Time: 1:43am

13) Birthday: August 16

14) Favourite Bands: youtube

15) Favourite Solo Artists: my girlfriend in the shower

16) Song Stuck In My Head: that fucking cupcakke song @yuuikkuma and @an-actual-lion showed me the other day

17) Last Movie I Watched: U H H H ..... i think it was Casper?

18) Last Show I Watched: SHE’S THE ONE! SAILOR MOON!!!!

19) When Did I Create My Blog: many moons ago when the world was young and reblogs opened on a separate tab

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: tsubasa, bad jokes, gay liberal anger

21) Last Thing I Googled: i can’t tell you it’ll spoil my girlfriend’s xmas present but it’s great

22) Other Blogs: is it a tumblr based CLAMPcentric fanevent? is it not syaosaku week? it’s probably mine. among others.

23) Do I Get Asks: sometimes. i love them

24) Why I Choose My URL: Kurogane is bae. and i can’t get the KUROGANE URL EVEN THOUGH NO ONE IS USING IT

25) Following: 94. a few are dead

26) Followers: 1048 :3c

27) Lucky Number: 13

28) Favorite Instrument: .... the flute has grown on me recently

29) What Am I Wearing: fleece leggings and flannel. nice.

30) Favorite Food: burgers (that’s gonna make the next answer hurt a little)

31) Nationality: American

32) Favorite Song: it changes with the wind

33) Last Book Read: this is a personal attack.... do manga count? hyrule historia? my dad wrote a porno??

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: pokemon, CLAMP, Legend of Zelda (specifically SS)

#meme

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completeoveranalysis · 5 years

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[3]

Let’s go back for a second.

Because these pages from Chapter 141 are horrifyingly literal now that we know that the Thing Sakura wanted to make happen was this.

Sakura is cold and determined in what she wants. You couldn’t be anything else under the circumstances, but still, it’s chilling when Fai promises to make it happen. Because oh boy did he make it happen. Worse, “your wish is what I wish” is now so vividly false that Sakura’s hard gaze as she watches him say the words is awful.

Bonus though: Fai was absolutely correct in guessing that it would be something that would anger Kurogane. Because yeah that was pretty accurate.

But in hindsight I don’t think my incorrect assumption that Sakura would have ghost assumptions was something I just made up. In her conversation with Yuuko, Sakura says this:

The implication was that she was going on a journey. She intended to go find Syaoran before the others could catch up with her.

It didn’t occur to me that this changed by the time she had her next conversation with Yuuko. When she got to Infinity, she knew more about the situation. She knew, I think, that she was already in the place of her vision of the future. Sakura said something like “I’m running out of time”, and so that was when she altered her plan and introduced the second wish - to skip the journey and go straight to the final destination

I’m not sure how the soul bottle is the destination worthy of trading so much just yet, but at the very least it’s still better than the future Sakura originally saw. As @evig-sang has pointed out to me (and I’m not gonna post the actual picture purely because of the blood, but you can click on it here) the images we get of Sakura’s vision are the same reactions that happen here. The future Sakura saw still happened - she knew Fai was going to stab her right from the off, the only thing she was changing was what happened to her afterwards. Instead of properly dying, her soul just gets forwarded to the tea decanter of destiny.

Which was also alluded to in that moment right before their final battle.

Which we’ve talked about before, but it’s a deliberate callback to this:

And so deliberately (in hindsight) mirror the fact that Sakura knows exactly where she’s going and what she wants to happen.

The only thing that still gets me is the entire situation surrounding that scene in the first place.

I understand nothing about this yet, but Sakura is sure that her presence in the tube means that they can save the future.

Which, further, means she saw more than just the final battle and her death. She’s seen what’s coming later, and she wants to change that, too.

The bit that gets me stuck is; is this original scene in the tube from the past, or the future? Is it what’s going to happen, or (like the text originally implied) was it the start of everything, before this entire journey started?

Or? Is it more complicated than either of those answers?

#Is it time travel shenanigans?#Why is it always time travel shenanigans #TLDR: SAKURA'S IN A TUBE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT IT WAS FORESHADOWED FOREVER #THANKS CLAMP #Long post #Liveblogging the Reservoir Chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 150 #Sakura #jam jar of dreams

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