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#And the AutoPilot Syaoran is like
completeoveranalysis · 6 months
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[2]
Following directly on from the last page of the previous chapter we’re talking about Evil Wolverine’s wish and I LOVE what they do with it here. They frame it as so natural and understandable - a goal that, actually, our entire cast not only sympathises with but already spent part of their own lives already chasing. 
And it’s framed visually here with Fai and Kurogane on the outside and their lost loved ones between them. We have Kurogane’s parents up top, smiling happily in his memory - and the climax of Kurogane’s backstory was him REFUSING to let them go. He went completely feral and attacked anyone who went near him. He had to be shot with a laser beam before he could be coaxed into realising he had to let them go. It’s very easy to see how he would understand the raw emotion behind wanting to bring someone back, especially if you never really let go of that all-consuming grief. Like Evil Wolverine, Kurogane did not hold back from hurting others in that grief, for a while.
And below that we have Fai’s brother, by contrast looking ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE in Fai’s memory - reflecting the suffering they went through but also the part of Fai that spent so long fixated on changing what had happened. Fai spent his whole life from that moment working towards a very similar wish to Evil Wolverine’s - to bring his brother back, but in a much more self destructive way. He hated the fact that he survived, tricked into thinking he had killed his brother, and so wanted to switch places. He was also tasked with killing Kurogane to make it happen. And this was the core of his personality for hundreds of years. So of course he gets it - he got it from minute one. When Evil Wolverine showed up in the pit Fai had already guessed his motivation on the spot. 
Between them both you can get a rough approximation of what Evil Wolverine is willing to do for this same wish - so caught up in it that he’s willing to do anything, to hurt anyone it takes, to spend hundreds of years working on it, never letting up from that core of grief. But the difference is that Fai and Kurogane both changed. They found love elsewhere, and eventually grew to accept that love. They realised what they were doing and, slowly and with difficulty, knew they had to move on. As much as they missed their loved ones they discovered they had worth elsewhere and could do more good for the living than the dead. 
Not Evil Wolverine though! He specifically chose the “fuck the living!” option and has spent his life destroying and manipulating other people into his very same grief on purpose to get what he wants. 
I think you could get a lot out of Evil Wolverine specifically using grief to control people. He kills their loved ones in front of them in order to force them to do what he wants - because it’s the only feeling he understands. He lives his life consumed by that grief, so the only way he knows to get people on his side is to make then the same as him. It’s his only tactic. 
It just wasn’t strong enough to work on Fai and Kurogane. It was BRUTAL and wrecked their entire lives but they still found the strength to let go of the stage of grief that Evil Wolverine refuses to let go of.
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kimmutaro · 7 years
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Share 10 facts about yourself, then tag your 10 favorite followers. Tagged by @spiritguardian​, thanks!
ive been on a semi-hiatus cuz of life but it seems im on my 1000th post! time flies~ after this i’ll properly fill my queue ;  ; and post actual stuff in the near future
1) my username comes from my name, kim, and the spell Indignation from the Tales of Series. I like using pun-ish names, ie: my instagram is kimmobilized and ive had other names like kimception or kimprovise...mostly cuz i’m lazy and not cuz i liked kimpossible...well not only bc of that 2) parts of my actual name is made up of two really common korean surnames: Kim & Lee in Japan it was funny when people got confused on which part was which. I was mostly called キムさん which was also funny cuz we had a couple korean checkers and translators at our company w the same name...THINKING ON IT NOW I COULDVE ALSO BEEN CALLED リー君 like Syaoran in CCS!! missed opportunities yo
3) I’ve been dyeing my hair since college, colors i’ve had: red, orange, indigo, lime green(a bad choice), green, and turquoise/teal which i’m on now. im working on lightening it to dye it light blue atm
4) I’m helping out at my family’s business, and some customers call my smiley. look. i work from 5am to 2pm, i run on my customer service autopilot who is a super genki super polite persona i use, but im dead inside
5) i wish i liked beer or wine bc theyre social drinks, but i mostly drink hard liquor. i don’t like the taste of alcohol but getting drunk w good friends in a safe environment is fun. ie: i got shitfaced while doing a voltron drinking game at my place. friend told me i wouldnt shut up abt how keith looked handsome in 1020p, and im not wrong
6) i’m korean-american but i kinda hate kimchi. nowadays im better if it’s in jjigae or bokkum bap but by itself? no (why is it lately ive had people brag theyre more korean than i am for liking it???)
7) i’m ashamed my Japanese is better than my Korean now. I think it’s mostly cuz of my interest in Japanese media whereas i generally dont like mainstream korean media
8) I move through fandoms like lightning but Tales has probably been my longest, from about 2007 to now (asides from low-key constants like pokemon or digimon) shortest mightbe been gurren lagaan: 3 days, watched it over a weekend, talked about it for a day and left it
9) i kinda wanna put out a silly webcomic about manga and game tropes ive been thinking of, but i have a lot of ups and downs about my art. i want to get better but i really gotta put myself out there and draw more frequently first i think ;  ; gotta learn the adobe tools better for that too
10) as a lurker for most of my internet career, ive never been really active online. but i want to change that and make friends and meet cool people like ive started to a tiny bit. i’m super happy to have the wonder followers i have and hope to get to know you guys and other great people too~
thanks for reading! like i said, i don’t know many peeps online so pls feel free to this if you’d like!
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completeoveranalysis · 8 months
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[1]
Chapitre 191 - The Seven-Day Promise
Featuring Tiny Lava Lamp in the Clow Reservoir! He’s sitting! That’s nice, right? No trauma detected! Only sitting!
Except I lied. The shadow he casts is larger than he is, and could be mistaken for a hole ready to swallow him entirely. Big shadows is The Recurring Syaoran Theme, but it’s also a reminder of the way Lava Lamp feels about the weight of his mistakes - how he should have figured out [something] before he did, and now he has to fix it. How his missteps have caused an disproportionate amount of darkness as a result, and how he will or should fall victim to a darker fate to rectify his failures. He will pay any price from himself to help this problem - and has not yet learned the further imbalance something like that would cause. 
He also holds his father’s (?) sword. Or, since there is still a bit of room for doubt in this, he holds the sword that is recognisably Li Syaoran’s from Cardcaptor Sakura. The sword is the same one that he will wield in the future, but here it’s a symbol of legacy - of the family mission passed down to him, the obligations he needs to meet. The sword towers over him, taller than his entire torso twice over. It’s a phenomenal burden for someone so small, but he’s holding it with determination as he stares straight at the camera. As if promising that he will do this. Whatever it is. 
Oh and the splash text, what does that say. 
To become a nameless warrior, this young boy never stopped walking forward. 
Which speaks to both sets of imagery there! Both that he tirelessly moves towards this goal, no matter what it does to get there, but also that the end goal will result in him becoming nameless. His own identity and well-being is completely irrelevant to him in the face of achieving his task, and he will trade away anything to make it happen. 
Which I LOVE because it highlights this contrast we’ve talked about before, with how the Syaorans both want what the other has. Our clone Syaoran wants a soul, but didn’t have one. Lava Lamp Guy has a soul but WANTS the empty, nameless, unstoppable drive that characterised Autopilot Syaoran. He WANTS that, because he needs to accomplish this mission no matter what - but we’ve already seen that he doesn’t have it, or at least doesn't have it to the degree he desires. In the Time Loop Clow Kingdom with its fragmented people trapped in a cursed existence, where ending their suffering was almost a mercy, Lava Lamp couldn’t make himself walk blindly on ahead as much as he wanted to. He Turned Back to make sure that a collapsing child did not die alone and without comfort. 
He doesn’t see this emotional side of him as a strength, but he should! 
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I WAS SO DISTRESSED I DIDNT REALISE SHE WAS STABBED BY BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME
(Edit: this is not true I am just losing it now)
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BOTH OF THEM RIGHT THROUGH THE HEART AT THE EXACT SAME TIME
Like that’s about as poetic as you can possibly get and OH MY GOD THEY ARE BOTH GOING TO SUFFER FOR THIS
Im just seeing this too
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AUTOPILOT SYAORAN KNOWS WHAT HE’S DONE
AUTOPILOT SYAORAN IS STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS BY THIS 
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[10]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WE DID IT
WE DID IT WE GOT HIM 
SYAORAN STILL EXISTS!
I FEEL SO VALIDATED
IT’S ONLY BEEN *counts* LIKE 5 YEARS SINCE I READ ACID TOKYO BUT I WAS RIGHT HE’S IN THERE A LITTLE BIT
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HEY SO THAT BIT ABOUT MUSCLE MEMORY IN SHARA WAS IN PREPARATION FOR T H I S????
THE SET UP FOR SYAORAN’S SWORD MOVING A LITTLE BIT ON ITS OWN THAT ONE TIME WAS
DELIBERATELY DONE
SO THAT SYAORAN WOULD 
NOT STAB SAKURA
I feel like I’m seeing all the stars in the universe at once. 
Also I’m unclear on whether Syaoran’s soul is dormant or completely gone but EITHER WAY HE LOVED HER SO MUCH IT WAS INGRAINED INTO THE FIBRE OF HIS BODY SO DEEPLY THAT THE AUTOPILOT IS PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO GO AGAINST IT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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[10]
okokokok ok ok ok ok 
SO KUROGANE
Like
ok I’ve been defeated by feelings I can’t arrange my thoughts
But KUROGANE
HIS PASSIONATE DEFENCE OF FAI
It’s almost a shame that Fai will never see this happen. It’s definitely a mercy that he’s passed out from the pain and shock at this point, but he’ll never get to see just how protective Kurogane was over him in this moment. The part just before this where Kurogane has a hand each on Syaoran and Fai, and when Autopilot slowly starts to hurt Fai again Kurogane HURLS HIM. 
HE JUST BODILY THROWS THE ENTIRE BOY ACROSS THE ROOM HARD ENOUGH THE BREAK HIS ARM ON IMPACT
And then HERE
Where you can SEE his memories of Fai in the background of the middle panel here. They’re re-used panels from earlier chapters, but at the same time you can see which exact moments have imprinted themselves on Kurogane’s heart. 
Fai smiling, saying he’s decided not to use magic. 
Fai going against his own motives and everything he’s been working towards and using magic to save his new family. 
And Fai smiling at Piffle, happy at Sakura’s success, but also unguarded, alone in Kurogane’s company, noting how much their children have grown. How much he cares. And this is the moment right before Kurogane tells him that he has too. 
The love he has for Fai is so clear - for who he is, but also who he’s chosen to be, the choices he’s made, the parts where he picks them. 
All of that echoes in his dialogue, where he’s telling this to Autopilot, but the thing he emphasises is that Fai changed himself for them, and Kurogane noticed every step of the way. He excludes himself from the equation (because he’s Kurogane, of course he does) and yells that Fai chose Sakura and Syaoran and has changed as a person to keep them safe. 
He’s swinging Fai’s love for his new family like a banner in an effort to bring Syaoran back, except it falls on deaf ears. 
And OH
OH THE POETICS BEHIND THIS ENCOUNTER
Where both Fai and Kurogane are doing the opposite of what they’ve been doing so far. 
Fai’s been avoiding his magic like the plague, hiding in the sidelines, pretending like he’s not involved - but at the first sign that Syaoran is in terrible danger he dives right in and uses an Extreme amount of magic to try save his life, AND willingly puts his own life on the line to try and save his soul. It’s the direct opposite of everything that would ensure his own goal succeeds, because in this moment those don’t matter as much to him as Syaoran’s own safety. 
And Kurogane too! To get here Kurogane drops his sword without argument. He’s here without a weapon, not fighting, and using his words the best he can to try and reason with Syaoran with feelings. Again, the complete opposite of anything he’s done in anything we’ve seen so far.
And just like Kurogane is pointing out about Fai, both of them are changing themselves drastically in this moment to try and save Syaoran’s soul, and it makes the tragedy of their combined failure all the more heartbreaking. 
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[4]
I LOVE that this is such a natural circumstance visually, and yet it’s the opposite from what Sakura heart wants deep down. If she was going to run over with desperation and cradle anyone it SHOULD be Syaoran, but here he’s the aggressor, and every step closer to her he takes is a BAD thing. 
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To further this idea, if anyone was pointing a sword at Sakura it should be ANYONE EXCEPT SYAORAN, who is currently the one doing it. The entire scenario is such a twisted hurtful reflection of what should be happening instead, and OH is it rendered gorgeously. That shot from behind Sakura as she looks down the blade that Syaoran is pointing at her? BEAUTIFUL.
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And speaking of tragic inversions, the other level to this is that Syaoran (if he was there, and in control) should be choosing to save Sakura over the feathers, because what good are they without her? But the autopilot programming seems to have the opposite set of priorities, where getting rid of the essence of Sakura seems to be completely fine as long as the feathers are collected. 
Also speaking of tragedy, I had to edit it out because of censoring reasons, but the top panel has this amazing visual shot of Syaoran with his two eyes, each a different colour (which you can still see), and the splatter of red on his cheek, creating a dark shape that visibly mirrors and contrasts a sakura petal right next to it, and together they make a heart shape. 
LIKE UGH COME ON IT’S BEAUTIFUL
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[7]
YES
Oh my goodness I get it now. I’m so thrilled. 
The first read through? Total confusion. Utter nonsense. Anything happening in the reservoir is lost to me. 
Second time in the murder pool: FULL HORRIFYING CLARITY.
Fai fights to save Syaoran’s soul in a 3D chess maneuver that isn’t explained at all in the moment (though I think is explained later), and yet you can SEE IT HAPPEN 
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Fai casts his magic not to put Syaoran’s soul back in the body, but to take it into himself. You can follow the flow of Fai’s magic curling around Syaoran and leading back to Fai. 
And! More than that! You can see Syaoran’s magic circle, and the seal that was on his eye, form right in front of Fai, with a glow emanating from it. 
Then, once Syaoran drops the remaining parts of his soul right on the ground, it rolls downhill and Fai immediately picks it up. 
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In the horror of the moment I think this was all collectively going over my head, but yeah, in hindsight I completely follow why Fai never fought back. Fai put Syaoran’s soul in himself so that when Autopilot ate his eye he would also re-eat the fragments of Syaoran’s mostly formed soul and give Syaoran a fighting chance to finish his heart and take the body back. 
AND LIKE. Can we talk about the fact that all his life Fai hated that his magic was destructive? And wanted more than anything for it to be able to heal people instead? 
And here on the precipice of everything Fai finds a way to use his destructive magic in a way that WOULD HEAL Syaoran indirectly. He finally did it. And here in the hell of Acid Tokyo Fai is perhaps the truest to himself that he has been able to be in who knows how long.
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There is nothing different about this panel don’t worry about it c:
Thank you to Kamui personally for being the number one reason why content gets banned. 
BUT ANYWAY BUCKLE IN ITS TWIN TIME. VAMPIRE TWINS: REVEALED!
OH AND SPOILERS. SPOILERS FOR SERESU. SPOILERS FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.
As we’ve seen over and over again twins are a huge thing in the shared Tsubasa/xxxHolic suffering zone, but THESE twins are quite a fascinating parallel to some of the others. 
Like the Syaoran’s! Kamui is a clear echo of Autopilot Syaoran, being ruthless and uncaring to every world he visits as he’s focused on a singular goal (and person) above all else. Subaru in his suspended sleep prison then mirrors Lava Lamp, as they were both unconscious in magic water jars for a long period of time but still watched the events unfolding around them. There’s a slight possibility he could echo Our Original Syaoran too, depending on how alive his soul might be inside of Auto-Pilot, but that’s a thought for another day.
The Vampire Twins also echo the Fais. Again, Subaru in his magic preservation sphere is a parallel to where the Original Fai is being kept, his body also preserved by a feather, while Kamui in this panel in particular is a clear parallel to Fai/Yuui, in that he’s urging them to skip to the next world to avoid the man chasing them. And THIS parallel is absolutely incredible because it shows us just how Deeply Kind and Loving Fai is in his very soul, since he deviates from the pattern set up by Kamui and Autopilot Syaoran. Unlike the other two, he’s willing to give it all up - he changes his mind about not using magic, about skipping worlds as soon as possible, and cares so deeply for people that he loses half his magic on a halfbaked chance that he might save one of them, which is something Autopilot and Kamui would never do. And I think there’s something to be said that in Acid Tokyo especially, it’s Kamui and Auto-Pilot Syaoran who are the aggressors who violently maim the main cast, and Fai is the one trying to defend them. Which is incredible on its own, but is even more so against the backdrop of the other parallels.
I don’t think any of the other twins fit the pattern off the top of my head. The Chis, Mokonas, and Maru/Moro don’t really fit, but their presence does emphasise the artificial nature of some of the others. 
I’m tempted to put Sakura in this space, as she’s a clear fit for Subaru in her sleep, even more so once she’s in jam jar land, but she lacks a twin. Unless it was Xing Huo in some way, but sadly her death halts any further lines I can draw right now. I have my eye out though! 
Anyway anyway back to the ones that actually fit, Kamui matches Autopilot Syaoran - and do you think that might be a hint that there’s still hope for him? Kamui is a ruthless asshole who literally murders our Syaoran right before our eyes - but he’s also instrumental in saving Fai, and he’s not FRAMED as a villain (SOMEHOW) and remains passably friendly or at least neutral towards the X/1999 cast as well as the Tsubasa family. Hope for Syaoran then?? Will our son come back??? 
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Chapitre 132 - Afraid to Trust. Or ‘The Fear of Belief’, depending on which version you have. 
Or, alternatively, jesus fucking christ clamp can you chill for three seconds this is a chapter cover 
It’s... almost good to see Syaoran again, but NOT LIKE THIS, CLAMP. NOT LIKE THIS. 
On the plus side it comes with some potentially fun parallels - with Lava Lamp Guy bursting out of the glass of his prison, for example, though he was much more in control of that, whereas Autopilot Syaoran is at the mercy of his programming and just has to go with it. The even MORE fun parallel is with Watanuki, who fell out that window just recently and ended up just like this. Though I guess Watanuki came out a lot worse in that scenario. Physically, anyway. Mentally? Syaoran kind of wins the suffering Olympics at the moment, but still. 
OH HEY, another another fun parallel? This other chapter cover: Where Syaoran is still lying on the ground and staring directly at the camera but, you know, happy. It’s like a Before and After comparison of what happens once you let Tsubasa into your life. AFRAID TO TRUST INDEED. 
Though on that note this is a pretty solid representation of everything Syaoran is suffering under the influence of his programming. He’s forced to forge mindlessly on, continuously suffering incredible injuries no matter what the cost to himself. And in the end it’s not a feather in his hand but another piece of glass - empty of anything that would help him. None of this is for him. It never has been. He might as well be just another piece of glass in the pile, but he has no choice but to “live on” whether he wants to or not. (Which is an excellent parallel to Fai right now too)
TLDR: Ouch
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 ALSO THIS. 
Which I feel is an updated and now more accurate version of this cover:
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And I don’t mean by the way that Sakura is asleep but ALSO BECAUSE OF THAT. LET’S NOT KID OURSELVES.
Her dress now more clearly resembles wings, and so all her feathers. It’s also more honest about the fact that the wings take up MORE of the picture than Sakura herself does, who isn’t even conscious. She doesn’t need to be, according to the plotline. People want the feathers, not her, and AutoPilot Syaoran in particular is focussed entirely on rebuilding the Tsubasa and not at all on Sakura herself.
ALSO just to the right of her face, you can see the hearshape pattern of her feathers in the golden embroidery. So the intent is definitely there. 
iiiiiit just occured to me that Sakura might not actually be asleep. It’s possible that she has her eyes closed as she leans in to try and kiss Syaoran - except Syaoran isn’t interested or even looking at her, because her Syaoran isn’t even there. It’s just AutoPilot. I can’t tell which option hurts more. 
But MEANWHILE, whereas Sakura’s wings are more complete than ever, she’s also more trapped than ever before. AutoPilot has her chain in his hand, and Sakura’s love for Syaoran only helps AutoPilot keep her and restrain her easier than he ever could have without it. She’s leaning into it, after all. The chains aren’t taut. There’s no struggle, and AutoPilot holds the chain loosely and easily.
On the flipside, he too is chained. More than Sakura, even. The chains are draped across his mask because he IS the chains. AutoPilot’s entire identity is the programming that Evil Wolverine forced onto him. Without Syaoran’s soul, there’s nothing else there - just the chains that hold him together, acting on their own accord. 
I also really adore the shredded cape, because it seems like such a solid fit for Syaoran’s incomplete soul. The soul was ALMOST complete, just like the cape, but the few shredded sections ruin it completely. 
And yet the cape is STILL there. AutoPilot WEARS the cape just like he wears Syaoran - controlling the body but dragging the remnant of the soul around behind him as if it were just a piece of clothing. But more than that, the cape is caught on the clawed hands that reach out to Sakura’s chain. Indicating that Syaoran is still being dragged along for the ride? That he’s still trapped here and just as powerless as Sakura? Or does the ripping point to how he’s been destroyed beyond any repair?
I am unsure how much of that is supposed to be pure symbolism of Syaoran’s death, and how much of that could potentially hint that Syaoran is still in there somewhere and entirely powerless to break out, but the difference between the two is VERY IMPORTANT TO ME and I’m going to be trying to figure it out forever now.
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[2]
CLAMP PLEASE THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH OF SAKURA SLAMMING HER FIST AGAINST AN UNBREAKABLE BARRIER WHILE SHE CRIES HER SOUL APART THAT I CAN TAKE
The... the amount I can take is Zero. 
We have exceeded the limit. 
CLAMP PLEASE. 
F R E E  H E R
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[8]
I will have you know that my soul in such distress because of this page that I had to immediately turn to the next one because there is no possible way for me to find anything introspective about this that isn’t just me crying alone in a corner
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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SEE SHE’S FINE
SHE WAS NOT, IN FACT, CUT IN HALF
BUT HOW DARE CLAMP DRAW THAT PANEL TO SUGGEST THAT IT WAS A POSSIBILITY
HOW D A R E
HOW   D  A  R  E
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[1]
OH! So here’s a thing I was going to talk about last time but completely forgot about. 
Subaru had two feathers. 
I had assumed that, if there were two feathers in this world, one would be here and the other would be with the other X/1999 team. Because they both have water sanctuaries going. 
But nope! SUBARU JUST HAD BOTH OF THEM. 
SUBARU WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH TWO FEATHERS. 
Because this is Subaru (and not, say, Kamui) I will assume the best. Perhaps he was consciously purifying the water to help everyone stay alive. Perhaps he knew Sakura would come by soon and was hoarding them for her. But either way, if the other X/1999 team has a clean source of water that ISN’T tied to the feathers (and also now filled with blood OOPS?) maybe the survivors can head over there and the world won’t be so doomed?
Maybe?
It completely depends on just how much of X/1999 we are channeling here.
Additional questions though: Can AutoPilot Syaoran just sense the feathers like that? Without relying on Mokona?
Is that from his programming? Or his magic? Or from Fai’s magic?
Because EACH OF THESE OPTIONS HAS VERY DIFFERENT IMPLICATIONS
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[8]
I LEGITIMATELY DON’T KNOW HOW THAT COULD BE THE CASE, LAVA LAMP, BUT I’M CURIOUS TO FIND OUT. 
ALSO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET SAKURA OUT OF THE BUBBLE MY HEART IS RIPPING IN HALF.
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[8]
I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS PLEASE HOLD
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I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS EITHER
I HAVE MANY CONCERNS ABOUT... WHATEVER IS HAPPENING
WAS LAVA LAMP JUST ABSORBED INTO SYAORAN’S BODY?
IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT WAS THE YIN YANG SYMBOL?
WHY DID HE DROP IT?
DID THEY FUSE OR IS SYAORAN IN THE BALL NOW?
PLEASE DON’T GET SO CLOSE TO FAI I DON’T RECOMMEND THIS AND I DON’T TRUST YOU
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OH MY FUCK NO
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