Dear diary,

Tis been five days since the darkness fell. I can feel the desolation creeping through me like poisoned tentacles wrapping around my throat, choking, suffocating, pulling me closer to death with each passing moment.

I just keep asking the same question, over and over...

When will Käärijä post something again?

A person that bloomed.

hi!!!

*important if you're my mutual or if you care abt me*

im gonna be taking *trying to take* a break from tumblr starting december 9 up until the 14th. gonna focus on getting my article done, advance studying, getting everything i need to do *prior to our official christmas break* submitted and really just go off my phone and *try to* reconnect with nature.

if you see me online, that means ive failed and most likely messaged @mqstermindswift something stupid that happened to me.

furthermore, im trying to be top *or just in the top 5 like i used to be* of our class and tumblr has been super distracting so..

am i overreacting, yes, but im also trying to see if ill survive without tumblr for less than a week lmao

xoxo- me. literally just me

𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬.

i hope your love is the fullest, but i also wish i was the one giving it to you, but i knew it was never meant to be you and i. it would've always been her. she was perfect, kind, she was everything you needed. and i was just me. i was just someone who didn't want love until you. but then i realised that it wasn't ever meant to be us, it was just you and her, the princess and the knight, the paladin, the fighter. i guess my heart belonged to you, but you didn't even want it anymore, or did you ever? did you ever want it in the first place? or had i never been loved the way you have? has no one loved me the way you would, and i'm just drowning in the possibility of us? have i just become desperate for love that won't ever be mine?

i've spent nights sleepless with the dreams of us, hearing the cadence of your voice in the rustling of leaves, and seeing your tan skin in the autumn leaves and tree trunks. you've found ways to invade my life when you aren't even there. you've vowed to tell her story, but what about ours? all that we could've been? why have we stopped? insult me if you need, but come back, just let me see your face, and let me hold you. argue with me, but walk back into my life please, tour the universe with me.

we can be anything you want, i'll apologise for every time i didn't communicate, for every time i got mad, just hold me, or let me cradle you in my arms. i'm not worth it, not without you by my side. no amount of saving lives could make me feel whole. and i'd never known you died if you didn't spill in your moment of weakness, i'll never forgive you for making me feel loved, and i'll never forgive myself for not loving you when you needed me to. and right when i thought you'd found your love, she was torn away from you, from every universe, every world, from everything. but you weren't cruel, you dedicated yourself to tell her tale.

and i wished you'd do that for me, but i knew i didn't deserve it. i never deserved you, and i was too hopeful for a love that couldn't exist. ice and fire only destroyed each other.

i could never be yours. i was never her.

- h.v.

will byers hates who he is. yet, he finds beauty in a world that tends to throw bad luck in his way. he chooses to love. he gives unconditional love and care to his family and his friends. he's ready to sacrifice his own happiness for a loved one's wellbeing. he is brave and strong-willed, managing to stand tall after everything he's been put through. he is selfless, good-hearted, and beautiful. he's an artist, he's a lover, he's the heart. the main character. he is received love as much as he gives, he just doesn't know it yet. will byers, i love who you are. i sure hope you see it in yourself, too, one day.

said i hc annie edison as a lesbian 3692 killed 590 injured. i have been doxxed 801 times all with different addresses and 5372 bot accounts are in my dms sending me the same exact paragraph. woke up this morning to find security camera footage of me changing posted on reddit and i’ve been expelled from my school. also got an email i will sentenced to death by hanging.

got a flight tomorrow and I made a mistake thinking it was actually three hours later than it was...

the STRESS is kicking in...

nothing makes me stressed like getting to the airport does... the thought of missing a flight makes me ILL

me when angelfish isn't here

help me ive never done biology homework without tears

well....

I've officially fallen into the nora/june/bea corner of ao3

as a bisexual woman who has somehow never read lesbian fanfiction, please send me your well wishes

and pray for my husband

godspeed

One year ago in a fit of rage I ended a long distance relationship, and you guys all know how hard that was for me. But at least the playlist was fire 🤪

me: ITS SO COLD IM GONNA SHRIVEL UP AND DIE (45°F) my bestie: this is nice actually (-8°F)

I see r*dcrackle and I get so upsettingly nauseous I have to sit and look through my gallery of crackle gifs or art of him and i 😭

I never want to be vulnerable ever again this means no more sex no more emotions no more talking to anyone about anything ever Iam just going to isolate myself and never be vulnerable unless I get a cat then I’ll cry in front of my cat and tell it how much I love it but other than that im gonna be alone now

why do i feel like the whole world hates me and is mad at me today

im losing my mind. i fucking hate every single person ever