#IGNORE ME NEVER SHUTTING UP HERE but
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Terms of endearment or nicknames // pet names with the Akudama
Note: Random post as I've always thought about this kind of thing with Cutthroat. These are entirely my personal opinion though, so if they seem out of character, that may just be why. I don't think it's too jarring though.... I THOUGHT WHY NOT POST IT
Swindler
Oh my, I love her... I'd like to think she gets a little flustered at first if the roles are reversed and she's on the receiving end of being called something endearing.
She probably gets flustered trying to use terms of endearment at first too.
After a while it may come naturally to her and be something she uses as a tease.
Swindler using cutie as a term of endearment is the first thing I thought of when thinking of her in this context— I'm not too sure why..
Swindler feels like someone who'd call you a nickname more so though, if not just your name. Especially when the nickname stems from an inside joke or conversation—
She forgets it's just a you and her thing too, so people are confused when she first talks about you and she forgets to use your real name—
Brawler
I feel as though nicknames are something Brawler may use kind of often once he gets used to using them? But he's not using anything too cutesy sounding.
Bro if you're by any chance Hoodlum..
As far as terms of endearment....not often.... definitely just a nickname kinda guy.
He probably calls you a nickname related to food too....
This one isn't gender neutral, but "My girl" oddly feels like something he'd use...it's not necessarily a term of endearment either, but it's definitely something I'd see him using when he's referring to his s/o..
If you use any term of endearment on him he'll likely feel as though you're questioning his strength in some way...but more likely than not confused..
"What's with the frilly names?"
I'll add these at the end as they're definitely just personal perception, but the term sweet cheeks came to mind with Brawler....as well as him using meatball as a nickname—
Doctor
Oh goodness, she's really good at describing words when she's referring to people... she'd likely use nicknames or endearments often in some context. Insult, sarcasm, or not...
Sweetheart or dear....not always in a kind way either, but...
Self-indulgent perhaps as it's one of my favorite words...but doll?
"Well aren't you just a doll?"
Your nickname more often than not with her may have something to do with your appearance or her personal feelings towards you...
She sees someone else using terms of endearment as somewhat revolting I feel like...or maybe just demeaning in a sense to her as that's what she can tend to use them for...
Use something unique enough though and maybe you'll pique her interest.
Hacker
He calls you by your name and that's how he likes it. There's really no need to come up with a pet name when yours works perfectly fine.
Although some of the options do interest him a little...
I could see him calling someone his player 2
Or you two would have an inside joke and that becomes your nickname for a little while.
Calling him anything though...
Depending on the term of endearment and how close you are to him, he may not even acknowledge you said it by letting it happen and then continuing to talk.
...Or he'd find it straight up cringe worthy...why are you doing this to him?
Demeaning even...
He may like it though...only if it's something that'll make him raise an eyebrow. Unexpected, you could say.
Hoodlum
He's tried out at least every term of endearment ever....hit or miss.
I feel as though Hoodlum has potential to use several terms of endearment and rarely sticks to one... but it's like a rotation. Maybe one he'll use a little more than the others or he'll go through phases where he just uses one.
He also feels like someone who'd use them with strangers depending on how confident he's feeling around them...only to possibly regret the choice of words after thinking about it for too long....or maybe he thinks he sounded really cool
This is absolutely soul crushing, I don't know why either, but I can see him using babe...
I wanted to say dude or bro, but I just can't see Hoodlum using that in a romantic sense...unless it's with Brawler..
Darlin'
Toots... (like Jinx uses from Arcane...)
I'm putting honey and pumpkin on the list too. Honey // Hun feels like something he'd use. Pumpkin though? A little...
Hoodlum gets flustered at anything endearing you call him, but he definitely doesn't want you to stop calling him it...
Courier
I can just barely see him using someone's name if I'm honest...he seems like the kind of person to refer to you as shithead and only that....or just not refer to you at all and expect you to know he's talking to you...
Who else is he really talking to anyways though...?
He tends to use things that can be seen as insults. They're like a different way of telling you he cares about you....
When he's calling you a nuisance, he's doing it because he cares. Can't say the same for anyone else he's saying it to though...
Courier doesn't mind too terribly if you call him any sort of terms of endearment either and it always interests him a little to see what nicknames you come up with. He's not gonna stop you with terms of endearment, but an annoying nickname may earn you a tongue click.
At some point, if you just call him Courier after using a nickname long enough, he'll be a little put off guard..
Cutthroat
No one could have guessed, but angel.
Emphasis on the my before it though. It always has to have MY in front of it.
I, myself struggle to see Cutthroat using any other sort of terms of endearment if I'm honest... probably because I like angel so much that I'm somewhat blinded to the others. Although, I have seen others use my dear, my dearest, (my dearest may work, especially in the circumstance he uses angel afterwards...)
"My dearest angel..." ....yeah I can see it—
Possibly "my flower" ....but maybe he'd just compare you to one instead?
"Looking at you is like watching a flower in full bloom..~ .....Ah-! Do you bloom like one too..!?"
I think Cutthroat seems to be a nickname kind of person as well, but it's a play on your name if it's not short enough already.
He'd also like to be given a nickname! It makes him feel special to you. Just make sure they're nice....I feel like he'd be a little upset if you pulled a Courier on him—? He may just ignore it more often than not too...
#I need to make a post rambling about Brawler soon#IGNORE ME NEVER SHUTTING UP HERE but#I also wanna talk about Doctor although I'm not sure when the next manga release is so maybe I'll hold?#Okay but I was thinking about The Shining as its my favorite horror movie...yes way before Akudama Drive—#.....okay nevermind it was a silly idea but I was just thinking#I know technically the scene where Jack is limping through the halls with an axe was the inspiration for that episode...#but what if....I wrote a story where the reader was the mother and Cutthroat was in a sense Danny in the story—#that would be super self-indulgent but there's never a shortage of that with me#Stop I just realized my friends name is also Danny omg hi Danny if you're reading this I PROMISE TO MAKE THAT BRAWLER RAMBLE#did I ever mention on here that I was almost not gonna watch akudama drive#I saw an edit of Cutthroat and was hoping he wasn't a murderer when I looked him up#the first thing I saw too was that his name literally translated to murderer....#I was so disappointed that I wasn't going to watch it#But I couldn't stop thinking about it so I told myself if I was still thinking about it 5 hours later then I had to watch it#and well literally right at the 5 hour mark I caved#oops#I just enjoy talking to myself a little too much here
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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does anyone else get that sinking feeling when a friend gets really into something you absolutely adore/have been hyperfixating on, but when you mentioned it, they ignored it (and kinda just ignore you unless and will talk over you to talk to their actual friends to the point where you're not even sure if y'all are friends or just acquaintances) and now they're really liking it and you just. want to gatekeep it bc that interest was (and is!) important to you...
or am i just being childish lol
#shut up k#forever frustrated with how people will act like they're in a clique online too#it's even more annoying when no one was mean necessarily#just kinda snubbing that same interest#and now you're like oh this is v interesting#this is about a twt only oomf btw not anyone here#or anyone on here and twt#but i'm just kinda annoyed bc like. link click was my thing#and i was so ready to share#but when i was you just straight up launched into talking over me to your other friend#it's the first time i've felt too old for that kind of drama#and you're both older than me so this really shouldn't be happening#but anyway i watched all of your favorites first and was excited about all of them to you first#and you ignored them all only to turn around and scream about them to your bsf three days later#which is cool#this is a rant i'm aware i sound childish i'm majorly stressed over an orgo final and this was my final straw#but it's also a pattern#idk the most childish part is wishing you never got into lc#bc now it's not just you ignoring me to talk about it#it's you AND your bsf#which is totally cool#i'm v cool with this#y'all are freaking 23 and i just barely turned 20 and this feels so middle school ugh
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i fell asleep in the middle of answering an ask and like.. i think that's my cue to go to bed :')
#im not ignoring anyone#it's just.. the last few weeks have been hell and i barely get to breathe and to be here even less#my body and mind are exhausted#apologies y'all#i love you#please never let this stop you from sending stuff.. keep the love coming bc it keeps me sane these days#and comforts me so much <3 christmas break soon so ill be here more too#anyway nobody asked shut up rid JFHSHD#good night 🤍
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Admittedly I don't know much about the Israel Palestine war but I keep seeing news articles that refer to it as the Israel Hamas war and no it is not. After all Israel has done it gets to be referred to by it's country name and not "terrorists who kill babies and children at the speed of light" but Palestine gets reduced to Hamas?
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the struggle of the Palestinian people keeps getting reduced to the existence of Hamas, but at no point does the ongoing state violence of Israel define its existence when by all means it should when my understanding is that the creation of Israel was stealing land from Palestinians. Why is Israel's violence ignored while Palestine is defined by the admittedly shit group that only arose out of decades of occupation and imperialism? Those two things are not the same and ignoring Israel's violence to act like Hamas came from nowhere just to hurt the poor Israeli government who acts like they've done nothing wrong is ridiculous to me.
#winters ramblings#a Palestinian coworker gave me some emails to send off things to so ill be doing that later#but like it just BUGS me when people will over focus on the REACTION to state violence and never ONCE bring up state violence#AS violence at all. also what israel is doing reminds me a LOOOOOT of what canada has done to your indigenous populations#so yes hamas suck ive seen some shit but heres the deal. im not as concerned about how much HAMAS sucks#when the EXISTENCE of hanas is the result if DECADES of ISRAEL'S state violence. what were Palestinians meant to DO??#just allow their homes to be stolen their people to be killed and their resources extracted with NO fighting back ever??!?#i dont feel the need to focus on how shitty Hamas is when this reactionary group wouldnt exist without the extreme violence#from israel that RESULTED in a deeply problematic group fighting back against them#you CANNOT step on the necks of a whole nation of people and expect them to do NOTHING#and when what they do is deeply flawed and often hurtful am i supposed to just IGNORE everything that led up to Hamas#by pretending state violence isnt NEARLY as bad as traumatized people fighting back against their oppressors??#like NO- state violence should be FRONT AND CENTER LOOOONG before any reactionary response to that violence#which if you ask me may be a deeply flawed and problematic response but im not expecting the people of an occupied nation#to be giving their best political performance and acting like we SHOULD just SMACKS of respectability politics#shut the FUCK up about Hamas and LOOK at what israel has DONE to the Palestinian people and FREE PALESTINE DAMNIT
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oououuuowowaah story of undettale
#TSUAUSUSBGGHyzhaa i HATE OUR BROTHER I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH NO MATGER HOW HARD I TRY all GHE SHIT I DO TO TEY AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM HE#FUCKING THRNS AROUND AND IS A DICK TO ME FOR NO RESON AND !!!! YLS AT ME FOR NO REAON SOMETIEMS SHUT UL SHUT UP YOURE LITERALLY 13 STFU#i fucking hste it here i hate being fcjingg 18 and having to share the sMe room with him i have sincd he wzz BORN.#GOD. ONE FUCKING NIGHT ALONE WIYHOUY HIS ANNOYING ASS I CSNT EVEN JERK OFF OR STAY UP LATE OR LISTEN TO LOUD MUSIC#AND LIKE IM HALDWy fhinking OH! OM BEING IRRATIONAL jd spLITTING AGAIN AND I AM. BYT HE IS JST A DICK I HATE TEENAGE BOYS I HOPE HE DIES#hes SO FUCKING MEAN hes cslldd me slurs and a bitch multiple times in the most derogayory way and i hate him#he knows abg the zysfem too snd just CHOOSES TO IGNORE IT APPARENTLY DOESNG CARE WHO HES TALKING TO.#auuggh moments i regret being ghe host i hate it here.#i hate our familh theyre just fu jing mean yhis shit builxing up is whzg made me snap in the first place!!! and couldng host for a long time#andd now im upset and spiralling and i dont wang to be a bother espcially sijce spe ific ppl i wantto talk to arsnt thefe an d it makes me#very very bvery sa d i msis my friends#i cry everry day miss ing them i have beene really liking remembering things with nicki#no onee knwos wht im talking about or wjo i am#i dont want to be useless please need me i jave no other purposs#im a nuisance to ppl whow ant to front#i sit here living in the past that doesnt exist anymore and pray every day for it to come baxk knowing it wont ever come back#i miss . my friends i dont tthink they like me#im too pushy when im happy and when im upset im too cold i never make anyoke happy an d i talk too muc h and it hurts wberyone#icant even ve of goo d use to mmy actual children in headspace im an awful mother i cant stay stable enough tk help anyone or do anything#me being here has only caused problems and I remember why i left before#me when i spiral and makenmsyelf sonmu h more upset than before#vent#shelly
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i cant decide what would be better tbh: either 11089 volunteers to stay behind to keep watch over donna post-memory wipe but they’re still human — even if from far in the future — and get Master-fied with everyone else and have to afterwards deal with the fact that they couldn’t help at all <3 OR. something Horrible happened along their travels with the doctor that means that they don’t really count as human anymore.
#by which i mean i hold every possible version of this OC in my head at once yes but i want to know which version to think about NOW#the deciding factor here is probably whether this is the story where tentoo needs to be memory wiped too#simply because that version involves 11089 carrying a FOB watch around they can never open ever#and it would be awkward if the master just. immediately got a hold of that. very funny tho.#get role reversed idiots#(actually i guess tentoo is human technically so he wouldnt NEED a fob watch for memory wiping but. shut up.#symbolically holding your friend’s stolen life in your hands. because he stole it from himself and asked you to.)#anyway. this is because i was thinking about the ‘you think i left my best friend with no defenses?’ scene which is fantastic but.#what if the ‘defenses’ were one (1) ex-timelord grown out of a hand who doesn’t know who he is and one (1) ex-companion who just hit one of#the masters over the head with a mop#dw oc#lmao ignore me im just rambling. i think theyre a silly little guy.
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ok but seriously if they’re smart they will bring the talamasca in during the night island spin-off. how i personally see this going down is the talamasca wants intel on night island and wants hard evidence but doesn’t want to send in any of their members because of the risk — so who would you turn to when you want to break in somewhere, make away with things of great value, collect information for you, and get out all without getting caught (but if they don’t make it out, it doesn’t matter, because they’re not part of your organization and therefore seem expendable to you)? PROFESSIONAL ART THIEVES!!! i think it would be a really smart way of introducing the organization and getting people amped for what is to come with it while also having the ability to be a one-off piece that is not necessarily integral to understanding the plot of later seasons of iwtv and mw. it could just set up that oooh here’s this sort of shadowy secret organization that has an interest in the supernatural goings-on, but isn’t the main focus of the miniseries (which based on the info we have currently will focus on the thieves themselves)
#idk just my two cents about it!! if the writing room is looking for ideas hey hi hello i’m here and i’ve GOT them baby#and just know if i’m right i will NEVER shut up about it. so.#there#also note: i have not seen the mayfair witches show nor have i read any of the mw books#so if they’ve already introduced talamasca ignore me#but even if they have introduced it already i think it would be cool if the art thieves were hired by talamasca#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#mayfair witches#*mine
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aita drives me insane but i still find myself listening to reading of them on yt,
#this has to be classified as self harm#i don't feel good listening to these#yet here i am#more often then not in a rage or utterly disgusted with peoples behaviors#i just read one on here!!#that one got me big mad#ppl who are cis can just never talk about gender ever please just shut the fuck up#and omg if you don't have bpd#maybe just never talk about it ever if all your going to do is spew harmful stereotypes what the fuck is that matter with you#pls diiieeee#oh#this is my sign i need to get off the internet for a while#i see that now#ignore me#peace ✌
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Pride is supposed to be month of education and of the community’s struggle with oppression, documenting and retelling history for younger ppl learn from, engaging in open dialogue with the silent majority who still dissent, not alienating or ostracizing them, but conversing with the hope that we are to be seen, heard and respected.
I’m kinda damn sick of how commodified my own sexuality has become. Like. It’s a holiday, and once that holiday’s passed the decorations and sentiments are stored away in the attic for the rest of the year. and those who don’t celebrate it (i.e, share the same belief behind it) simply stand aside quietly and tolerate it. Despite what corporations have made it, i’m bi 24/7, not just during June. But the ads and the merchandising are so glaringly loud and disingenuous and off the mark that I can see in the extremely religious conservative circle I live in, that Pride is achieving the opposite of its goal. Every year my family and family friends dread the month, and double down that we’re “pushing an agenda” or “trying to trick people into sin”. It sucks. Companies and brands are tonally deaf with good intentions at best and patronizing at worst.
I’m just complaining into the void. June is almost over and I’ve not once felt comfortable celebrating my own sexuality because the month like. glaringly illuminates it, but never educates ppl about it?? it feels so overbearing and I have to see my family and family friends make more intolerant comments and jokes than usual. Idk. Despite what’s advertised, we (america) aren’t as progressive as we think we are. We’re kinda… going backwards? It’s estranging the ppl who are key to our acceptance— the opposing side lol.
#cel speaks#i’m probably gonna piss someone off bc that’s how these internet things usually go so 🤷🏻♀️#and also i’m glad hollywood/ social media lend us a powerful and large platform. I really am!#but… there’s no attempt to reach others who’re still in disagreement. or extend an olive branch#I get the sentiment of ‘we’re here and we’re queer deal with it’!#that assertiveness was and still is vital but i really wish we could extend an olive branch#instead all the ads and merch I see are just. half assed attempts to pander to us? and ignore like actual deeper issues still prevailing#i think i’m talking in circles now. ima shut up for now lol#i think this all came to a front when I saw that damn bugs bunny pride banner on twitter lmaoooo#i had such mixed emotions… 1 bc Bugs is like. NEVER sincere so writing wise that threw me off lol and 2…#the dialogue was so incredibly vague and vapid. Bugs sounded like he was giving a generic holiday greeting. that’s when it hit me y’know??#like WB cycles thru throwaway lines like ‘happy holidays!’ and now it’s ‘be who you are!’#lmao yeah i fuckin would if i didn’t risk being disowned hfjfjf or risking real world consequences for coming out
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i flipped the mirror selfie because i flip back all my selfies automatically because if i see myself inverted way too often then i think thats how i look like to other people then when i see a group photo from the other pov im hit with like a wave of dysmophia and dysphoria so. yeah i just needed to explain that this is actually how hot i am when you look at me. also i love this red dress i thrifted SO MUCH. best find ever.
#ignore me (don't actually)#it never shuts up#i should really stop posting myself here but i like attention
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.
#listen i get it. i really really do. because wildfire smoke messes me up really bad#it makes my cough even worse than usual and it sets off my panic response on a slowly building explosion#but like. i've never seen people be more self-absorbed about a wildfire situation than people from new york rn -#(and it does only seem to be new york - none of the other states in that area even though there must be smoke in other places too)#- complaining about the wildfire smoke from canada#i realise it's difficult and awful but to say shit like ''thanks a lot canada'' or ''shout out to canada for ruining my day'' ...#or act like your life is the one most affected by this ... it's just so ignorant idek what to say about it#i promise you the people of quebec and ontario and nova scotia are having a worse time than you rn#i've never seen people act like this about it before it's so weird???#like when we get smoke here in BC from california/oregon/washington or vice versa#i've only ever seen people on either side of the border react with sympathy for what the other side is going through at that time#and horror at how bad the fires or weather are#but i've been seeing or hearing abt posts on every socmed out there from new yorkers complaining about the smoke there#and like i said i get it! trust me i complain about wildfire smoke every year!! it sucks!!#but i don't *blame* the place it's coming from???#idk man to me it's so rude#like just shut up honestly
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I swear by the time I have finished this paper there will be claw marks in my brain matter because I have to forcibly drag it towards and hold it to the document in order to get anything done there's a magnetic force repelling the two things and I am so tired
It's gonne be the shittiest least coherent paper in the history of papers and if I end up having tortured my brain for nothing and not passing the course I don't know how I'll deal with that lol
#Ash's ramblings#There's nothing bad under there don't worry I just need to vent somewhere#and if I text someone about it rather than yell into the tumblr void it'll develop into two-way communication#and I WILL use it to procrastinate#So. Here I am. Ignore this.#It's not even objectivwly a difficult paper I don't think!!#I'm just. Kinda dumb and also did too little for it early on and can't focus enough to know what's going on#This semester is shit tbqh I took more classes than I can handle#(and I'm still not even at the recommended number of classes loool)#And I'm so fucking exhausted at this point#There's at least 2 other classes where I'm worried about not passing just bc I never get around to anything#...actually I worry about like. Every class. But I always do so. Idkkkk#Anyway! Anyway. Shutting up now. Getting back to it. Hopefully.#I'm not sure academia is for me but I don't know what else is for me either and I Really Don't Want To Fail At This Again#I'm trying so fucking hard this time around and I'm. Gonna. Really shut up now before the misery spiral gets out of hand lmao#Ily all
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themis... little guy ......
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i will never shut up abt when 6.2 comes out i am Not sorry#yk glam dresser is like. 400. SOBS i have been 400 full for so long (i like glamour)#i am really excited for the raids esp as a themis liker and a. summoner. ifykyk :] my sckrunklies#idc if that is even correct spelling sobs#also. wnvr i go on twt (or even tumblr tags) ... wow ... xiv artists r on another level#my favorites ^^ i love ffxiv artists with all my heart#ignoring every other artist out there except for my friends /hj#okay anyways . idk what glamour i shld do in ffxiv next (as in cosplay) uhh i did ame watson ......#hm. wtvr. i haven't ate yet so brb WHABHBHGB#also bcs i don't think anyone will read this i will just say anyways that urhgghhgh admittedly i am uhghghghgdh that my . Space ??#is ... idk what. oh right uhhh i have no one to talk abt ffxiv here and ofc my posts are ignored and all. which all makes sense#but ig it makes me a mix of annoyed/spiteful/miserable . maybe i'm exaggerating bcs im just rlly emotional this week but yes hmmmmmmmmm#admittedly liking ffxiv is a huge. thing that contributes in me liking a person. bcs ffxiv is really just that ??#so my two irl best friends i love vv much and my other irl best friend i like a Little less for various reasons. including this#it isn't like. an immature thing but it does say a lot and ffxiv is just really yeah ... but wtvr ig T___T#i think that's also why i'm distancing myself from tumblr (albeit unintentionally ngl) bcs . yeah ??#i can't explain rn i feel uhghghg ............... idk anymore but it's not really a big deal i guess#edit : idk lots of ugh feelings but i blocked genshin tags yay
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