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thevoidstaredback · 25 days

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Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant

Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.

So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.

Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.

Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.

At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.

Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.

Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.

The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.

The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)

Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!

Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!

"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.

Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."

"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."

"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."

"Excuse me?"

"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.

"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."

"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?

"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.

"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."

"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"

Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."

"Excuses."

"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."

"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."

"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."

"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."

"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."

Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.

The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.

Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."

Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."

Part 2

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crackinglamb · 2 years

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Fic Author Self Rec

Tagged by @dreadfutures, thank you! 💕💕💕

Tagging @ir0n-angel, @fasterpuddytat, @pikapeppa, @sinsbymanka and @sorrelchestnut. No pressure, as ever.

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

I've written a lot, you know, over several fandoms. This was incredibly hard. In the end, I determined my own favorites are the ones I have reread over and over. And even then I'm gonna cheat with some honorable mentions at the end.

In chronological order:

1 - Unexpected (FO4, F!SoSu/Kellogg, rated E, 30K words, 'ware the tags). Listen, sometimes you just need to be the change you want to see in the world. Kellogg's arc disappointed me on many levels. From the standpoint of him being a 'villain' to the possibly haunting everyone's favorite synth bait. This was my first truly canon divergent AU, and I never meant for it to become a full fic, I honestly didn't. But I ended up falling in love with the concept I'd created, so I had to see it through to the end. I have a weakness for the broken ones. Tien Xu remains the OC with the darkest backstory. Seriously, pay attention to the tags if you read it.

2 - Accidental Synchronicity (ME, Jack|Subject Zero/Thane Krios, rated E, 17K words). Ahh, rarepairs. Completely unplanned ones, at that. To date I am still 22% of the ship's authors. A one off line in the main fic of my Shakarian series became a plot bunny that wouldn't quit. It grew into a slice of life romance that covered the events of ME2 and ME3, leading to canon's hamfisted ending for Thane. The only reason I didn't change it is because it was already established elsewhere. Still, it remains one of the fics I am most proud of.

3 - Hope Is a Fragile Thing (DA:I, Solas/OFC, rated T, 13K words). In a lot of ways this fic was an experiment. I love to write MCIT's, but it's hard to come up with a backstory sometimes, so I didn't make one. I wanted to write something post-canon, a favorite trope of mine. And I wanted to completely finish a fic before posting it. Many, many of you have found me because of Twist, which is light and relatively fluffy, to say nothing of its sequel that is pure, unadulterated sugar. But angst with a happy ending is my bread and butter.

4 - Of Ruins and Restoration (DA:I, Cadash & Solas, rated G, 3870 words). If you asked me where Lark Cadash came from, I would immediately blame Manka (with all the love, of course), because without her whole entire throng of Soladash works, I wouldn't have fallen down this rabbit hole. Suffice to say, I got hooked. And then I got Ideas(tm). OR&R is the culmination of many headcannons about dwarves, the desire to have more content for a ship I didn't know I needed and the feverish grip of the Muse that sprang out of my head wholecloth at the end of 2021. It is the introductory work for this character I've absolutely gone to pieces with love for. Eventually there will be more of it, but for now it stands alone as a oneshot. There is a companion oneshot that falls outside of her 'canon', as well.

5 - What a Wicked Game to Play (DA:I, Solas/OFC, rated E, 278K+ words, current WIP). 😏 Did you really think this wasn't going to make the list? WG is everything I have ever wanted to put into a fic, and Imogen is the character I have always wanted to write. Aside from being the new shiny (because it really isn't at this point), I have enjoyed almost every moment of digging into the lore and rebuilding it from the ground up. I have so many plans and so much left to tell for my curly haired girl.

Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):

Junkyard Dogs (FO4, F!SoSu/Hancock, rated E, 107K words) my very first fic.

No More My Heart Beats Without You (DA:I, Solas/F!Trevelyan, rated E, 5555 words), sad, angsty pwp. 'Ware the tags.

Unrepentant (DA:I, Solas/F!Lavellan, rated E, 3096 words), smutty dark!Solas Fade shenanigans.

And Maker Damned Fools (DA2-I, Varric/F!Hawke, rated E, 16K words), my vector into writing DA. I will go down with this ship.

#tagged #fic author self rec #dragon age #fallout 4 #mass effect #Lamb writes #...a LOT

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