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dododrawsstuff · 3 days

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Ikevil OC Atlas Fowler

Edit!!!!: the profile template was made by @natimiles

“The star that burns twice as bright, burn half as long” ~ Estella about him

“Where does your loyalty lay, little Robin?”

I'm on a trip with my family this week, so I have plenty of time to work on my OCs and catch up to the expression requests remaining

I had a lot of fun desiging him and his curse (that I took inspiration from filibusterfrog's "Umbralysis") and ended up making a ref sheet of sorts, but I'll still draw his back and some other expressions, other than his little shit smile. I still feel like I can improve him a lot, but I'm impatient and wanted to share him with you.

More about him under the cut! And as always, I'll keep tweking this post as I think of stuff to add or change. Hope you like him!

OC taglist: @olivermorningstar @keithsandwich @scummy-writes @aquagirl1978 @sh0jun @mxrmaid-poet @violettduchess @floydsteeth @lorei-writes @ikeprinces-stuff @flimflam707 (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist)

I'm also tagging some people that showed interest in him on my other post, let me know if you don't want to be tagged and I'll remove you @errethebunny @bicayaya @natimiles @venulus @rou-luxe

Name: Atlas Fowler

Age: 27

Birthday: Nov 22

Height: 181 cm

Affiliation: The Circus

Hobbies: Collecting information, baking, pissing off people he doesn't like

Skills: Singing, styling hair

Likes: Chocolate chip cookies, freedom

Dislikes: Fish

Resents: Disloyalty

Weapon: Daggers

Personality: Atlas is a very charming and charismatic man, always displaying a pleasant smile, he is a natural entertainer. He is always in a good mood and is very positive, almost as if he doesn't even experience bad emotions…?

Beneath that facade he is arrogant and thinks he is untouchable, and believes his ability is a blessing, rather than a curse. The thing most valuable to him is loyalty, he despises betrayals the most.

He is smart and cunning, and is not afraid to use his ability to get information for his own benefit, though he mainly uses it on people who have been unfaithful.

Curse: Peter Pan

It makes so that Atlas’ shadow can move independently from him. He can know what his shadow experienced while apart from him, allowing him to be “at two places at the same time”, he has full control of the shadow and prefers to use his powers at night, as to not rise suspicion from others.

Atlas also discovered a peculiar characteristic of his ability, he can divide his emotions between him and his shadow, it acting almost as a storage for him. The curse manifested when he was still an infant, so he had some time to figure it out on his own.

One thing Atlas doesn't know is the fate of those afflicted by the Peter Pan’s curse, every single one of them uses their shadow as a way to get rid of "troublesome" or "useless emotions", but as they keep pouring those negative feelings, the shadow begins to gain sentience. In the end it usually kills its owner and itself in the process.

Backstory: When he was little his parents got freaked out by seeing him playing with his shadow, they thought he was cursed, or possessed but nothing they did cured him. What broke the camel's back for them was when Atlas told them the culprit of a series of murders in the neighborhood and days later the police caught them, when his parents asked how he knew, he explained that his shadow had seen it and told him.

Not too long after that they tried to get rid of him, but the church nor the orphanage wanted to accept him, since his complicated background preceded him. Until they found an itinerary circus, they lied and abandoned him there. Most of the crew were kind and welcoming to him, especially Estella, the magician, she became a mother figure for him and the reason he decided to follow her steps and become a magician.

Random headcanons:

He learned to style hair from Estella, she says that presentation is everything for a magician

After every presentation, the circus crew gets together to bake chocolate chip cookies

#dodo ocs #oc atlas fowler #my art #ikemen series #cybird #cybird ikemen #artists on tumblr #ikemen villains #ikevil #ikemen villains oc #ikevil oc #my beloved #I made him >:)

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uva124 · 1 day

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HAEDUS, NAOS AND NEMBUS BACKSTORY (MY STARBOYS)

Well these last days I've been thinking about my three beloved stars and I wanted to give them a solid backstory, it's not the final story (I'll probably change some things) but this is what I have planned in mind:

First of all I'm going to explain how the stars work in my world:

POWER CATEGORIES:

Not all stars have the same qualities or powers, some are born being powerful and others are born with a weaker magic, of course they can improve it, but it would take MANY years considering how long a star lives, besides this wouldn't make a big effect you know? So here not all stars are those kind and divine souls like the Pinocchio fairy, or incredibly cheerful and energetic like others, here the more you are born with a great talent the more respected you are going to be:

WISHING STARS: These are the most respected type of star, only they are allowed to come down to earth to help people who wish them because they trust they have the ability to take care of themselves down there without being discovered, because if anyone discovers them, it could bring great danger, they also serve as a guide to the newborn stars who are learning about their world.

AVERAGE STARS: This type of star can help people fulfill their dreams, but they can't come directly down to earth, they would be responsible for those “lucky breaks” that happen in Disney movies lol.

WEAK” STARS: Here belong my two little boys Naos and Nembus, they were not blessed with the greatest power, usually they were to some extent despised by other stars, others simply pitied them, however, they can still see what happens down there in the worlds, and these two little ones have not ceased to be fascinated by what is down there.

I also have to point out that star powers become emotional quite often, the stronger the emotion they feel, the more out of control their magic will be. Now you may be wondering “what category does Haedus belong to?” oh man this guy is special but not in the best sense of the word: CORRUPTED STARS (BLACK HOLES?):

In this world there are also corrupted stars, they are the ones that have already reached the time of their death or on the other hand they have lost their own control and their own magic has consumed them inside, this can be unleashed in several ways: not controlling your emotions, dark magic spells, among other magical things I guess.

That usually happened to wishing stars because of their incredible power, but it was very uncommon so everyone in the star world was pretty calm regarding the topic….huntil a certain star appeared.

STORY OF HAEDUS: My boy my poor boy, believe me I'm going to make they suffer in this rewrite 😊.

He was born as any normal star but with the difference that he had a HUGE power without exaggerating it too much, no doubt he has the potential to be one of the best wishing stars no? Well not really, they power was quite big but also dangerous if not handled carefully because as I said the management of magic is also emotional, and if this child could not contain himself he could unleash the worst and this was known by the other stars that already had some time of life.

Asia that Haedus was very energetic, almost like @rascalentertainments star (who is also doing a wish rewrite if you want to go read it is this profile :D), but he couldn't help noticing how when he approached the stars they looked at him in a strange way, they seemed uncomfortable or even scared, but of what? He commented this to the wishing stars, some simply avoided the subject or in a way to comfort him told him that they looked at him with “respect” (respect? If that means no one wants to get close to me then I don't want it).

In the end Haedus had a real friend, one that actually liked spending time with him and not simply out of fear or “respect”, he was the only star that truly accepted him, but it all fell apart one day that if only Haedus could remember clearly he would make sure he wouldn't make the same mistakes, all he knows is that he hurt him, He doesn't know how or when but just by seeing the look of his friend full of fear and confusion in his direction he knew he could never forgive him, not even he himself could forgive himself, he lost his only companion, and not only that, he also lost the last bit of sympathy that the other stars had for him, now he could only see the anger, fear, pity and disgust in the eyes of the stars.

I also have to add that many times Haedus asked the wishing stars when it would be his turn to come down to earth, however he never received a clear answer, only scoldings and warnings from the people and how dangerous they could be for him (imagine that maybe they manipulated him like mother Gothel did with Rapunzel), however he did not believe them, He really had no one to hang out with, Haedus just stared at the different worlds in front of him (all fairy tales) he was not really impressed by the forests or kingdoms, he liked they home and especially the magic, for that reason his favorite part was to see how the stars helped people to fulfill their dreams, he really had the illusion of being seen as help instead of whatever the stars were telling him.

He spent some time being good alone, he was getting used by this point to the stares he was constantly receiving (and by the way the murmurs of the stars “can't they at least try to hide?" ), everything was normal until he found two quite young stars, by their aura it seemed that these were twins or something like that, he would have given him the same when he noticed how the other stars looked at the little ones…… It was quite similar to his situation, the days passed and he noticed that yes, the two little stars were ignored and despised, he even saw how some older stars were bothering them, that was it, Haedus approached and as usual they ran away from him, then the two little brothers started to thank they, he felt good after years of being rejected but he thought that would be all until they discovered they “reputation”.

It wasn't like that at all, after that day the two stars (who introduced themselves as Naos and Nembus) chased Haedus like little ducklings chasing their mama paw, this was quite strange, Haedus tried to push them away however it didn't work, eventually he grew fond of them and suddenly his world wasn't so bad after all, these children were his only company, he will not let anything happen to them, he will not let anyone hurt or despise them again, he will protect them at all costs (although these little ones still insist on being nice to everyone even after they have been insulted).

One day Haedus simply reaches they limit, he tries to force his smile for they little brothers but he simply can't hold it in any longer, there has to be a way for the three of them to be accepted in their home, without mistreatment, without having to listen to them, without having to run away…… maybe if he tries to prove that he can be of help as the wishing stars?

So yes, Haedus at this point plans to somehow escape to one of the lands to help grant someone's wish, so the other stars will see that he is not dangerous, that he can control himself and not become a monster, and so they will also respect Naos and Nembus. (Besides as much as they have tried to keep the humans out of the way our starboy still has the illusion of being able to help

Unfortunately the plan does not go as planned. Not at all. First it turned out that Nambos and Nembus had snuck in with him like the naughty children he was (even though the overprotective side of Haedus stressed to them that this time he needed to do this just so no one would get hurt, better safe than sorry). Then something VERY WEIRD happened, in short what happened was the scene when Giselle is transported to the real world only much more terrifying and creepy.

literally Haedus is watching how they most precious people are being covered by green glows while Naos and Nembus don't know what is happening while they panic and cry calling for their big brother, only for the three of them to fall forcibly into a world they were NOT supposed to be in, besides is it their illusion or did they hit something before they reached dry land?

this is what happened lmao, I'm reusing the joke about Starboy almost crashing into Asha, only here it really happens and my girl is knocked unconscious for a few minutes (how did she survive? disney magic)

First meeting:

Well …… the first impressions were not very good, I have to emphasize that in my wish Au asha is from the modern world like the one here, also at that time she had just had one of her worst emotional lows (That's Magnifico and Amaya's fault) and Haedus had just suffered a panic attack while trying to process how the hell they got there and where they are and above all who brought them here?

The only thing our two main characters can agree on is that they are confused, scared and frustrated. Haedus is simply debating whether to fly away with his two little brothers or ask the human how the heck she brought them here and what she wants them for?

I'm still debating how to continue this sequence, but Asha and Haedus certainly don't get along very well, but they both come to the conclusion that they should stay together, Asha simply feels guilty that it's probably her fault that they are on earth and also because she wants to return to her normal life. On the other hand Haedus only accompanies her to guide them in this strange world that is nothing like the ones he had seen before from heaven, and also to find a way to return to heaven.

Also I have to say that Naos and Nembus are very kind and try to see the best in people and that each one should have the chance to fulfill their dreams, even if they are too weak stars they want to help in some way, all this results in them entering in trust with Asha very fast and empathize with her, also this new world makes them very curious and they want to explore it all (even though they are giving Haedus a heart attack every time they accidentally put themselves in danger).

In the middle of the movie we see how Haedus finds the appetite for the little things in life even without magic, and above all he manages to make some real connections, here he is not seen as someone unpleasant, eh he even gets to develop certain feelings for Asha that he tries to deny.

In short we see his development from being someone distrustful of people in general who doesn't understand how people can be happy without magic to someone who appreciates ordinary life and how he can still trust people, and that he doesn't always have to keep everything to himself.

I have to emphasize that Haedus has always been taught to keep his emotions to himself because if he explodes at some point even the stars don't know what will happen, that scares him, he doesn't want to hurt anyone, he doesn't want to be what he was always told he was, he doesn't want to be a monster, he just wants to be accepted, so if keeping everyone safe means repressing his emotions with jokes and a confident attitude, he will gladly do it, as long as his little brothers are safe and don't worry about him.

FINAL COMENTS

This post is just me rambling about my main ideas for these three characters, I will gladly accept your opinion if you want to write it! that's all for now bye :D✨✨✨

@oh-shtars @signed-sapphire @annymation @emillyverse @chillwildwave

(I hope you don't mind me tagging you😅 , but I wanted to share with you these ideas I've had for a few weeks now, I hope you enjoy reading them!)

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jessythebunny · 25 days

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headcanon ship between Oliver and Douglas 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Ok i don't usuelly do those things because they will took me the time and i'm getting tired faster but here's the small thing for ya☁🌟(ignore the image plz)

🖤°•Douglas and Oliver Headcanons•°💚

🖤💚Douglas found Oliver in the scrapyard with Toad in an unenviable condition. He did not want to leave him there so he would end up as a victim and become scrap, so he decided to help him and get him and Toad out of there. From here, Oliver's feelings began to develop because he saved his and Toad's lives from death

🖤💚Oliver, due to his extreme stupidity (no offense please), cannot differentiate between Douglas and his brother Donald. For example, when he wants to kiss Douglas, he kisses Donald instead of him, and the three of them start laughing and giggling

🖤💚In fact, Oliver has two boyfriends, Douglas and Duck, so each of them takes turns seeing Oliver every day to avoid quarrels and conflict

🖤💚When Oliver was in the scrap yard, he felt extremely sad because he thought that no one would get him out of there and that he would spend his whole life there, and Douglas saving him was a great miracle for him.

🖤💚Oliver can't stop thinking about Douglas and Duck, even if he works, his mind never forgives him.

🖤💚Douglas is talkative, cheerful, and has a childish personality, while Oliver is calm all the time and likes to listen to everything he says.

🖤💚Oliver really loves his nickname "Dougie" so he really likes to call him that

🖤💚In the event that Douglas is involved in an accident, Oliver is responsible for rescuing him and always saves him in the engine form, and vice versa.

So yeah, these are all my Headcanons about those two and i hope you enjoy them weeee (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

FFS Why is it difficult to draw trains and use the jelly style?Ugh💢💢💢

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astrxealis · 2 years

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since there was maintenance, & i had to update my game after, i was only able to start playing like ... some time ago but MAN all so far i've been doing is normal raids (+ helping sprouts a bit in pf as usual) but. this is so funny /pos i either get 3+ comms or none at all . and i'm improving on ast yay (some bits are like. perfect optimisation hehe) it's rlly HM tho bcs. comms even though i'm still improving bcs i have not played ast in so long and lowkey forgot how to properly play. but yay hehe <333

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#IT'S. hilarious bcs i don't even do the 100% right rotation bcs i haven't learned it. but i do generally the right thing!#still improving hehe but this day made me rmbr ast is still my fav healer & 2nd fave class <3 #also eeeee i'm still playing rn but will stop after roulettes and getting my last chest piece from normal abyssos!! hehe the one rn im #going gnb >< improving w that too hehehe #okay . done . man idk if i just dont have my rotation down or if buffs are misaligned (likely the latter KDBSKDNS WHEEZE)#i will uh. probably just go dps for the others now <//3 actually nah i can do this last one another day #time for roulettes!! also hi good evening guys hehe take care mwah mwah ily have a gooday/night

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stuckinapril · 6 months

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learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

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misskamelie · 4 months

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Fastest way to get me to do something is to make it in such a way where I know what the end goal/performance should be like + bonus points if it has clear and delimited subtasks

#having clear and defined tasks to complete awakens my gamer instinct #I looove quizzes where I have to improve and give right answers #I love learning facts in this way #other examples are the website I use to practice interval recognition and I guess duolingo for language learning #I get so so easily overwhelmed when there are too many choices big and small to make :/ see the project I have to turn in for an exam #I just need occasional external validation #my post #ah btw a few days ago my uni recognized my mobility credits <3 #so now I only have 4 exams left ✌#hopefully 2 by the end of this exam session 🤞#it's technically 5 but one of these is a pass/fail one so atm I'm not that concerned + I plan to take care of it by the end of february #*sigh* apart from that I still feel a bit... detached from society and social settings #hopefully things get better as the year comes along #if I reach the end of the year still in this condition I'll look into it in a more serious way I guess

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sophiamcdougall · 9 months

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I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

#story time

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hedgehog-moss · 15 days

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I bought a roll of chicken netting to fence off my vegetable garden—which I haven't planted yet because it's been raining every single day for like two months and I didn't want my young tomato plants to rot, but the weather is finally improving. I'll plant my garden next week, and I wanted to trim the grass around it and clear the area of weeds, but then I remembered I have animals that can do this job.

So I opened the pasture in front of the (future) garden. Currently it looks like a long pile of dirt, because that's what it is (well, compost + llama manure + dirt)—but look how long it is! I'm feeling ambitious this year and I have quintupled the length of my initial hügelkultur mound.

You might be surprised to learn that Pirlouit was the first animal who noticed the opening in the fence and got out. It's not actually surprising because Pirou has a fresh grass-dar—but Pampe was very much surprised & vexed.

Everyone looked really happy to have access to this new little area!

Initially I thought I would be able to continue preparing the garden while they were eating, but I quickly realised I was too paranoid for that. I mean, it's Pampe vs. a small temporary fence meant for chickens. Enough said. I didn't dare to turn my back on her even for a minute, so I ended up just sitting in the grass next to them with a book, which was really nice.

Pampe decided to lie down in the grass to eat more comfortably, something Pirlouit still deeply disapproves of.

Poldine however thinks it's a brilliant idea.

Update: all my llamas are now horizontal, eating like three Roman emperors. Only Pirlouit continues to mind his table manners.

Of course this peacefulness couldn't last, and after stuffing herself with new grass for half an hour, Pampe remembered there was also a new fence to think about.

She decided to lie down again 5 centimetres away from it, so she could inspect it and strategise while maintaining a demeanour of relaxed innocence.

I was not relaxed.

You are exhausting.

At 7:30pm I started feeling torn, because I don't like to miss apéritif time but—could I run to the kitchen to get a glass of apéritif and some biscuits and run back before Pampe had time to do anything? (The kitchen is 15 metres away.) (I feel like this detail doesn't change anything and if I inserted a poll here everyone would massively vote "Pampe will have time to escape")

But you would be wrong!! When I returned from my quick and suspenseful dash to the kitchen, guess who was on the verge of doing something illegal...?

PAMPOLDINE. Bad llama!! She was interested in tasting the flowers on the other side and she was pretty bashful when I shooed her away.

I believe the only reason Pampérigouste didn't escape is because she assumed her daughter was about to, so her family's reputation was maintained, she would get to see me run and curse llamakind and straighten the fence grumpily, and she didn't even have to get up.

Which goes to show that she doesn't escape due to a deep and unquenchable thirst for freedom, but to aggravate me personally.

I settled on my ash wood throne to have apéritif, comfortably seated in full view of all the animals—

—so of course Pampe immediately got up and went to inspect the fence on the other end of this little pen, behind the hazel tree that was blocking my line of sight, in the one place that I couldn't see from my seat.

I had to get up to see what she was doing (and angrily wave a stick in her direction until she moved away) and when I returned to my tree stump there was a little insect swimming in my wine. Pampe lay down again, pleased with herself.

When it was dinner time and I kindly invited everyone to return to the pasture (Pirlouit & Pampelune complied without fuss), Pampe suddenly lay completely flat in the grass, in what was clearly an attempt to make herself invisible and be forgotten all by herself in this barely-fenced area, kind of like children who dream of being locked in a toy shop overnight.

I haven't taken my eyes off you all evening. Of course I can see you.

I had to poke her with my stick until she deigned to get up and leave (Poldine followed), but all in all it was a very successful little outing. I might do this regularly throughout the summer to keep the grass trimmed in this area, although the difficulty level will be greatly increased when I have to patrol the fence and protect my vegetables at the same time.

I'll add that when I went out later in the evening to close the chicken coop, Poldine & Pampelune were far away, grazing together under the plum trees, meanwhile Pirlouit and Pampe were still queueing in front of the part of the fence that was previously open. Both waiting for me to let them access this heavenly garden again (but with different motivations)

#crawling along

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libraincarnate · 2 months

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astrology notes: 19 ☼𓂃𓃗𓂃

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

˚♡₊ pisces & them not knowing if something they remembered was from one of their day dreams or an actual dream they had.

˚♡₊ moon or chiron in the 2nd house can indicate an emotional eater. they can be someone who eats for comfort or just because they're bored.

˚♡₊ virgos are known to be judgmental towards other people & things but they’re judgmental towards themselves as well, being that they typically struggle with perfectionism. for this reason, they probably cringe at themselves and the things they’ve done quite often. they can be quite regretful and hard on themselves when they make a mistake. but virgo, you guys are imperfect just like everyone else who has lived and died. and although it may be easier said than done, breathe, live, and just be. try to view as your mistakes as an opportunity to learn & improve.

˚♡₊ asteroid juno (3) in 4th the house can make people think you’re the type to bring home to meet their mom/family.

˚♡₊ uranus in the 2nd, 5th, 8th, and 11th house can cause the native to feel frustrated and experience disturbance in those areas of life that are represented by those aforementioned houses. that’s because uranus is a planet that represents constant change and unpredictability & those houses are fixed houses that represent exactly what the name suggests, it’s fixed, it desires stability and regularity.

˚♡₊ capricorns are known to be controlling/bossy but aquarius tends to have those characteristics too. i’ve often seen it happen with their friends, like they can be the leader of the group and tell people what to do or they make decisions for others. i guess it’s the saturn influence since we know that cap is ruled by saturn & aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn too.

˚♡₊ those with gemini moon are the type to laugh at themselves while they’re crying. and if they’re not, then they’re definitely going through it because it’s often hard for them to take themselves seriously like gemini risings, but in this case it’s more focused on their emotions.

˚♡₊ those with their venus aspecting saturn could be the type that always has a loved one/former loved one, like an ex, coming back even if it’s 6 years later. the person that tries to come back may realize what they had a little too late, they may realize that the loyalty & love you gave them was one of a kind and it’s hard for them to find that same or similar level of stability and commitment elsewhere.

˚♡₊ scorpio risings are lowkey mad funny because of their gemini in the 8th house, but especially if they have planets like sun, mercury, or moon there. & because it’s in the 8th house, it’s not something that many people know about them except for those that are close to them or those they have 8th house synastry with.

^ but when it comes to those with a gem rising or gemini in the 10th house, everyone thinks/knows they’re funny.

˚♡₊ uranus dominants or those with uranus in aspect to mercury/neptune may really enjoy reading/watching sci-fi & dystopian books/movies or tv shows.

˚♡₊ taurus moons are typically blessed with the ability to remain calm & grounded but their emotions can be a bit stubborn and linger for a while. it may take some time for them to get over a breakup or separation from someone they really love.

˚♡₊ those with chiron, pluto, or mercury retrograde in the 5th house could have stage fright. they may dislike doing presentations in school or at work. if they have to do something in the presence of others they’d rather it be in a group. but even if they are in a group, like a small choir, they’d prefer to stand in the back or behind others.

˚♡₊ the house where aries or mars falls in your chart can show you the type of men you usually attract:

in the 1st house, if you’re a girl you may attract men who you’d describe as the male version of you, or men who are childish or younger than you.

in the 3rd house it could be your classmates, those in your neighborhood, or those that you see as more of a brother, even if they’re not related to you. for this reason, you may be quick to friend zone them.

in the 6th house it could be the men at your place of work who are always hitting on you or trying to flirt. or men that have an unexplainable desire to take care of you, they may see you as a damsel in distress.

in the 10th house it could be older men who are already established or successful. maybe you easily attract sugar daddies or men that just want to provide for you whether that be money, opportunities, or guidance.

in the 11th house your male friends may be the ones crushing on you or you attract men from all walks of life, meaning you might be "everyone's" type. even if you're not the type that some of these men may usually go for, they could be willing to ignore that when it comes to you.

in the 12th house you may have a lot of secret admirers and men that often day dream about you but won't tell you.

the attraction could be stronger or more noticeable with mars making aspects to planets/asteroids like venus or eros or with aries in those placements. & due to the characteristics of mars, these men may find you intimidating and they could be a bit scared to approach you at first, or they could come on to you a bit aggressively, or they just try too hard to get your attention.

if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

#astrology #astrology notes #astro notes #astrology observations #astro observations #libraincarnate

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milksockets · 8 months

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why scan?

scanning is something i've done for probably about 12 years now (i'm ancient, for this site), with varying degrees of regularity, intensity, etc. it has ratcheted up since the dawn of 2023, though, which begs the question: why? why put so much time into what could not-wrongly be considered a passive activity, hunched over a piece of clunky machinery with the express purpose of preserving others' creations? the answers are several, and fascinating (not really).

i am a [sober] drug addict. anything i pursue, consume, create--more often than not--ends up taking on addictive qualities. i'll eat the same specific food item for a month, then never want to see, let alone taste it, again. i'll listen to one song on repeat for days until i'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard than have it shuffle on and assault my ears. one of the reasons that my scanning has increased in volume recently is that i acquired library cards to the 3 nyc library systems: nypl, brooklyn, and queens. as soon as i was able to, i pillaged + plundered those fine centers of learning, leaving any given library with as many hefty scan-worthy books as i could [barely] carry. here, finally, was a *free* way of obtaining more + more + more visual media to consume.

2023 saw me get my first legal, full-time job. as such, my adjusting to that hellish reality resulted in a steep decline in my own personal creative output. collaging, writing, and rapping all fell to the wayside as i slowly acclimated to a life of work that almost everyone else my age has known for over a decade is generally unbearable + detrimental to the maintenance of outside pursuits. in times of famine within my own artistic harvest, scanning, archiving, and sharing others' work is a means of feeling as though i am still contributing to the global oeuvre.

there’s an element of losing my mental self in a series of physical motions that becomes almost automatic after some time. “zoning out” is not something endemic to my daily life; if anything, i’m almost always too zoned in. relief is necessary. especially considering the shitshow this past year has been in terms of my personal life.

i am a product of capitalism’s cultivating a craving for constant consumption.

it seems that visual content is only going to continue to get more + more uninspired. has everything been done? did social media ruin it all? in any case, i feel a need to document the past. to a degree, it’s my version of doomsday prepping. (god forbid books go extinct altogether.)

i have always gravitated towards solitary activities. this topic could be a thesis in its own right.

i thrive on external validation. this reliance is something i’ve improved upon over the past several years, but it hasn’t been altogether extinguished. even though the materials i scan are not of my own creation, i nevertheless feel a vague pride in showcasing them. occasional appreciation thereof satisfies this fixation on others’ attention, albeit in a diluted form.

i am fortunate to live in a city bursting to the gills with cultural institutions. i am also lucky enough to have some disposable income that can be directed toward fulfilling my ravenous desire for visual media.

((i keep getting messages about the specifics of my scanner + "process":

i have a cheap ass hp envy 6055e and i just use the software it comes with.

there's nothing special or fancy happening here, and i could definitely invest in a better and/or a large format scanner, etc. but i really just don't care enough and it's not like i'm getting paid for this lmao))

#words #working girl #me

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teaboot · 16 days

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Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

#Self harm cw #Guilt and shame

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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reading the old stuff i wrote from ages ago n damn these words are still so familiar

#🌙.rambles #'these expectations for myself were forged by me alone—theres no need for them and nothing to gain.'#'disappointment seems to follow me everywhere it seems these days. i want to do better but i'm just so lost inside.'#'where will my future take me?'#'its lonely.' cutting the rest off that sentence bcs oh my god what the fuck #this whole paragraph. no...#the only words that comfort me are the ones i've told myself in the past #'im afraid. trust issues. i dont want to be hurt. i dont want to be drained. i dont want to be judged. anxiety's a pain in the ass.'#'but i can do it'; bcs after all i've already done it before. all the ppl ik in ffxiv... 'i can do it again. i know the confidence in me.'#me complimenting my own self hits different ahaha. n then — 'itll come at the correct time. ill make it happen.'#'its hard. it really is. all the struggles that you keep to yourself because youre afraid of vulnerability. you dont want anyone to worry.'#'all those big dreams you have that seem so impossible and far away.' & 'life is hard but i know youre just as strong.'#'after all even when overwhelmed with emotions—when have you ever given up? when have you ever stopped trying to improve and learn?'#'your passion has always reached the stars. even if you havent quite reached where you want to be at this moment #i know youre always striving for more and working towards your goals. i know youll always look back and be happy with yourself.#you'll never forget the meaning behind it all. you'll never stop loving yourself and know what you want and deserve. you'll never give up';#yeah these words still ring true #'just stay true to yourself and you'll be alright. i promise you.'; i'll stay true to my promise #'it hurts being sentimental / being a slave to the past but it's that very authentic love and care that you have as well as that sensitivity #that makes you such a beautiful human being. so empathetic. so introspective. you truly love nature and life.#i love you so much and i know you'll achieve many great things in life. be kind to yourself ok? i love you.' AAAA #I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT TO MYSELF ONCE UPON A TIME #aaaa that's some stuff from what i wrote one day. i have more days here #'theres so much things to do... but i know you can do it all. in time. i'll always believe in you. i'll always love you.'#me using 'you' here hits hard when i read back on these notes i once wrote to myself when i was in a time with similar struggles now #'youre so young my love. so kind so beautiful so deserving. you dont have to stay strong all the time. youre not a monster. youre human—#like the rest of the prople you love. you dont have to shoulder it all alone you know?'#wait this paragraph is so long i cant write it all here #self-love is so special. all these words hurt so much FUCK #i came across more notes. they're all too long to share anymore in tags here but ah they're so beautiful

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sirfrogsworth · 3 months

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My egg gadget journey.

Since I started learning to cook eggs in a pan I have been trying to solve various problems in my usual way... buying gadgets.

Because I love gadgets.

My first problem was that I wasn't happy with my whisking. I didn't feel like I was getting the egg whites and yolks fully incorporated. So I bought this fork whisker thingie.

It has little holes in the tines for optimum whisking!

Or so the Amazon page said.

I thought it would be the size of a normal fork. But in reality, it was gigantic and unwieldy.

I felt it was so large that it actually made it *harder* to whisk eggs.

So that has been retired to the drawer and has not seen the light of day since.

Then I was having trouble flipping my omelettes. So I got a special omelette flipper.

This helped a little, but it was too thick and I still had trouble getting it underneath.

Into the drawer it went with its whisking fork friend.

Then a follower suggested a different kind of omelette flipper.

These have a very thin edge and really get underneath the omelette well. This was my first big success in egg gadgetry. I was able to achieve my first successful fold using this.

Then I was becoming frustrated with egg cracking. I couldn't do it consistently. I tried on the side of the pan. I tried on the flat countertop. I was improving over time, but I still felt like a gadget could be helpful.

In my brain I was envisioning some electronic doodad that used A.I. cracking technology to perfectly open the egg.

But then I found this...

It's just a small dish with a raised edge in the middle. Just about the simplest solution imaginable. Doesn't even take batteries.

And it is fucking fantastic.

It's called the "Crack'em" and so I like to say "Release the Crack'em!" when I use it.

You do have to develop a technique, but once you get that down, it cracks eggs perfectly. And it gives you a nice clean section to pull apart the eggshell. And the yolk doesn't drip out as much before you are ready to release it.

Everyone should get a Crack'em.

I still wanted to solve my incorporation issue. I got better at whisking but I still felt like a gadget could improve things.

So I decided to go with the nuclear option.

This thing is nuts. For the low price I am really amazed at how solid and well-built it feels. And it fucking pulverizes the eggs into a perfectly homogenized substance where white and yolk no longer exist and you just have... egg.

Pure 10,000% incorporated egg.

And with this gadget I was able to increase my egg fluffiness by 20%. And my eggs were already pretty damn fluffy.

The egg pulverizer is also very easy to clean. You just run water and turn the blade and angle it so it doesn't spray you in the face. You will get sprayed in the face before you figure out that angle. So prepare yourself for that.

And that is my gadget journey so far.

I'm considering this weird flippy pan that would allow me to cook my omelettes evenly on both sides, but I am in a scrambled eggs era so I'm not sure I need that right now.

It also looks like I could easily yeet hot omelette juice into my face if I am not careful. So I might just stick to my traditional pan.

OH! And one non-gadget thing I learned.

If you have seen The Bear there was a scene where Sydney cooks an omelette and crunches potato chips on top.

youtube

And it works! Tastes great on scrambled eggs as well.

Potato chips, who would have thought?

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hansoeii · 1 month

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Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??

I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?

Hey hey!

Thank you so much!

I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!

(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)

I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)

2020

I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.

2021

Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.

2022

This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.

2023

And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!

Now here comes some actual advice, haha:

What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!

I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.

Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!

I have a pinterest board with many more!

One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.

This is a great video on it:

6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko

Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!

And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!

I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)

#responding to these has made me realize how much I love helping you guys out #it's genuinely really fun and I just hope it's actually helpful haha #my art #art advice #art resources #ask #anon

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babyleostuff · 11 months

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Hi hi! Could you possibly write more angst? (Any member) Like the mini ones (?) Like fights/arguments and whatnot :)) w fluff at the end (or ending of your choice :P) thank you!!! Love your writing!! <3

fights with seventeen | OT13

I'm SO sorry about being so late with this, but I've been really busy with my exams and I didn't have that much time to write. But now that my vacation began, I'm going to catch up with my requests. Still, I hope you enjoy this one <3

☾₊ ⊹ currently playing: a glimpse of us by joji

𓆩♡𓆪 CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

Of course you’d fight over small things, like in every relationship, but big fights are a very rare occurrence in your relationship. Seungcheol hates seeing you upset, so often those arguments will be over before they even begin.

But if you got into a big fight, it would get loud and messy. Seungcheol is competitive and stubborn, so if he gets fixated on one thing it can be hard to change his mind about it.

If you ever leave the house after a fight, he’ll become a worried mess. He'll call everyone he knows that you might have gone to and if none of them knows where you are he’ll be panicking massively. Don’t ever do that to him, no matter how angry you are at each other at that moment, he can’t stand the thought that you might get hurt and he will not be able to help you.

Would never allow you to sleep on the couch after a fight and even if you’d do that, he’d carry you back to the bedroom.

He’d blame himself for days if you ever cry during a fight, no matter whose fault it was, he’d always blame himself for making you cry.

𓆩♡𓆪 YOON JEONGHAN

Some fights would get you raising your voices at each other, but those types of arguments would be VERY rare and only happen if either of you were very tired or drained from any type of work or schedules.

Normally, neither him nor you would be able to raise your voices at each other, the fight in itself was painful enough, you didn’t need any screaming or yelling.

Both of you would try to explain your point of views, what you think the other did wrong or how they could improve themselves. You’d both be very respectful of each other’s opinions and never make fun or tease in situations like those.

Even during the argument, he’d want to hold your hand or at least be near you. He’d still want to feel connected to you and not put extra space between you. After the fight he’d also stay near you, hug you a lot and never let go of your hand.

𓆩♡𓆪 HONG JOSHUA

Your fights would be very mature and calm. Surely, you would get frustrated and annoyed at each other, but never truly angry or furious. He would never even let you.

You would resolve any of your arguments as quickly as you could, not even once thinking about giving each other the silent treatment. Even if he was away on tour, he’d try to talk to you as soon as possible or even text you, to let you know that he’d want to figure stuff out.

Sometimes, especially if it was more of a small argument, he’d be petty and annoying with you, knowing how to push your buttons, to make you more frustrated. But he would never take it too far, he’d just simply want to tease you a bit.

Knowing that you need some kind of reassurance after a fight, he’d always hug you tightly, kissing the side of your head, where there would be no place for any teasing. He would be very gentle with you then.

𓆩♡𓆪 WEN JUNHUI

In the beginning of your relationship he’d have a bit of trouble talking things out, as he never knew whether you wanted space or not. He was always too scared to ask, since he didn’t want to make things even worse between you.

With time though, you’d learn how to properly talk with each other about those kinds of stuff and your communication skills would only get better and better.

Still, any fights that you’d have would be very calm and neither of you would raise your voices at each other. If, for some reason, you’d get so angry that you’d want to say some hurtful things, you’d just take a break and spend some time apart, trying to collect your thoughts and think about how to solve the fight without hurting the other one.

The aftermath of any fight would be full of love and reassurance - warm hugs and sweet kisses.

𓆩♡𓆪 KWON SOONYOUNG

He’d get so emotional the second he figured you were actually having a fight. Especially during those big fights, that happened once in a blue moon, but still. He would be so torn, because on one hand he’s angry with you, but on the second IT’S YOU, how can he be angry with YOU?

He would probably say whatever came to his mind, not really paying attention to what was coming out of his mouth, which sometimes would do more harm than good. He would apologise right after he released what he’d said, and I'm sure he'd keep on apologising for the next few days, feeling extremely guilty.

After the argument, he would want you to hug him and keep him close to you, letting him know that you’re not upset with him anymore and that you still love him. He would also be clinging to you even more, trying to find comfort in your arms.

𓆩♡𓆪 JEON WONWOO

He is usually quite silent during your fights and you’d be the one who does most of the talking. He’d just simply nod to everything you say and share his view when you’re done.

Never raises his voice at you, no matter how angry or frustrated he is with you. Even after a tiring day, he’d listen to all of your complaints and try to work things out before going to bed. He can’t imagine sleeping without holding you in some way, and he knows that if you two don’t talk it out, you’d probably want to be left alone.

It’s hard for him to actually apologise, but you’d know he’s sorry from his acts of service. The next day, after your fight, he’d be extra attentive to you, never leaving your side and constantly asking you if you need anything.

If you’d ask him for space he, of course, would give it to you, but would feel so lonely without you by his side. He would even try to make your favourite dish to make you feel a little bit better and even though he’d fail massively, it would still make you all warm and fuzzy inside.

𓆩♡𓆪 LEE JIHOON

Very calm, but you're not always capable of telling how he actually feels. He could be fuming inside, but you wouldn’t have known. A lot like Wonwoo, he would be mostly quiet, trying to figure out how he wants to express his emotions.

Because he’s not great with dealing with his own emotions, he would have a bit of a hard time explaining his point of view on whatever you were fighting about. Still, he would be grateful that you were so understanding, even in such a situation.

If you’d want to take the couch, he’d let you. But, sometime during the night, he would come out of your bedroom with an extra blanket to tuck you in and make sure that you’re comfortable.

The next day he would be very attentive to you, but in a silent way. He’d try to make you breakfast, do the most important chores for you, help you out in any way that he could.

𓆩♡𓆪 XU MINGHAO

Any fights or arguments with him are very calm. Even though he sometimes wants to scream out in frustration, he never does that. He knows that screaming at each other won’t help out in any way.

His top one priority is to talk it out as soon as you both are ready, without getting more upset with each other. He just wants to get it over with and get back to normal.

I can see him holding your hand while you talk it out. He wants to stay connected to you and give you a kind of reassurance, that even though you're upset with each other, he’s still there for you and loves you no matter what.

The night after a fight is kind of silent. But not uncomfortable. You’re just very soft and careful around each other, not saying much, but still being in each other’s presence. You cuddle closely that night and exchange some comforting kisses as apologies.

𓆩♡𓆪 KIM MINGYU

Will either behave like a diva and drama queen or like a pouty child. It all depends on the situation, on whose fault it is and how emotionally he’s feeling. If he’s drained and tired, he won’t have the energy to fight with you and would want to resolve it as quickly as possible.

But, when he’s feeling like the usual him, the fights tend to get a bit bigger and emotional. He is stubborn, to the point where he’ll keep fighting with you even when he knows he’s wrong. Will constantly side eye you and sigh time and time again.

If he ever sees that you're getting really upset about the fight he will stop, though. There is nothing worse for him than seeing you so drained and sad and he’ll even apologise first, even when it’s your fault. He just doesn’t want to let such petty and little things come in the way of your happiness.

Even when you fall asleep still a bit angry with him, he’ll still cuddle you (or he would be touching you in some way, he just has to).

𓆩♡𓆪 LEE SEOKMIN

I’m sorry, but there is no way you could have a big fight with this man. The second he sees you getting upset or angry over something he has done, he’ll talk to you immediately.

Can get a bit emotional during fighting sometimes, but he never does that to manipulate you in some way. He just can’t stand the fact that you’re actually upset with each other.

Never raises his voice at you, never gets petty with you, NO silent treatments whatsoever. He doesn’t understand how someone can ignore their partner when they're upset with them. Why not simply talk things out and get back to normal? Every second spent on fighting, means less time to spend it on how you’re actually meant to spend it - happy and having fun!

Will always gives you a lot of hugs and cuddles after a fight, maybe not necessarily to cheer you up, but to reassure himself that you’re not going anywhere and to let you know how much he appreciates you.

𓆩♡𓆪 BOO SEUNGKWAN

So dramatic. So petty. So over the top.

He would be rambling non stop, not letting you speak. He would let out all of his frustrations and annoyances in no time, it would leave him almost breathless. After that, he’d listen to you and do his best to understand your point of view.

Big fights wouldn’t really happen in your relationship, as both of you would get too emotional and start crying and apologising upon seeing each other's sad faces. Still, you’d talk it out and never leave an argument unresolved.

He’d need reassurance after any kind of fight, big or small. It would make him worry that you might want to take a break from him or even break up and that’s when you’d have to tell him that you’d never leave him because of a silly fight.

After one of those silly small fights, you’d laugh about it afterwards, realising how stupid you both were to fight over something so insignificant.

𓆩♡𓆪 CHWE VERNON

He’d be very logical and reasonable during any of your fights, though I can’t really imagine any big fights happening between the two of you. You’d try to avoid any conflicts and always talk things out before they escalate.

If, for any reason, you’d want to sleep on the couch, he’d tell you to sleep in your bed and that he’d take the couch instead. You’d probably wake up sometime during the night and walk out to the living room wrapped in a blanket, laying down next to him.

There are no silent treatments with this dude, he’ll never let you ignore him when you’re angry. As passive as he usually is, he just can’t stand you ignoring him, especially when he doesn;t know what he has done to upset you.

Usually, you watch a movie after a fight to calm yourselves a bit and give each other some time to think, but still be in each other's presence.

𓆩♡𓆪 LEE CHAN

Please don’t fight with him. He’s always so soft spoken with you and it doesn’t change even when you fight. He absolutely hates fighting with you - hates the fact that he can’t hug you, hates that you’re angry and upset. He’ll do everything to make it right again.

There is a big chance that he’ll even cry during a big fight, especially when you both say things that you don’t really mean. He’s already mentally tired from all his schedules and he can’t stand the fact that he can’t find comfort in the person that he loves the most.

Similarly to Seungcheol, he will never let you take the couch and will never let you leave the house. He’s simply too scared that you might leave him or that something might happen to you and he wouldn’t be able to cope with that.

Even when you fall asleep still angry with each other, during the night, you’ll find your way back to him, cuddling into him.

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girlgenius1111 · 5 months

Text

learn your lesson

part 2 to worry about them

it appears that you haven't learned your lesson about training while sick, much to your teammates frustration. they are determined to get to the bottom of it.

platonic barca x reader

The team was confident that you'd learned your lesson. You waited as long as the doctor had told you to wait before returning, and once you promised everyone that you were feeling 100% better, they let you return to practice.

The issue was, you didn't feel completely better. Improved, yes. You likely needed a few more days rest. The doctor had cleared you though. The team needed you. Surely they couldn't be mad now. You weren't defying the doctor's orders, and you were well enough to practice, you thought.

You made it through one entire practice back, ignoring your teammates requests that you take it slow. You weren't weak. You were better now, you could handle this. Post training, though, you no longer felt better. In fact, you felt the worst you'd felt since falling ill. And, to top it all off, you weren't hiding it very well. You were sat on the bench in front of your locker, drinking water, pretty sure that if you stood, your legs would give out from under you. You planned to wait until the room stopped spinning, until your head stopped pounding, to shower. Hopefully, the locker room would be more cleared out by then.

You were really out of it, almost going limp into Ingrid's side when she came to stand next to you, studying you for a minute, before pulling you up and out of the locker room. She brought you into a recovery room down the hall, pushing you to sit in a chair. She felt your forehead, a disapproving look on her face already. You were delirious at this point, not really understanding what you were doing in this room when you were meant to be getting ready to go home.

"Need to shower," you grumbled, trying to force your eyes to focus on Ingrid, crouched in front of you. She ignored you, typing something on her phone.

"Ingrid, I need to shower," you tried again, attempting to stand. You sat back down when she glared at you.

"You need to get your temperature down. Y/n, you promised us that you were better. What were you thinking?"

"M'fine. M'not weak," you said tears gathering in your eyes. You needed her to know. When she didn't say anything, you continued. "Ingrid, I'm not weak, I made it through practice, I didn't let the team down," you insisted.

Ingrid looked heartbroken at your words, and you weren't quite sure why. You were still fighting to keep your eyes open, your head felt too heavy, and your body shook with chills. Ingrid disappeared briefly, as Alexia threw the door open thunderous expression on her face. Ingrid stopped her before she could begin scolding you, though.

"Ale, calm down first, she's really out of it," Ingrid murmured, nodding at you. Alexia was prepared to yell, but the sight of you, disoriented and tearful, took that urge away instantly.

"Nena," she sighed, moving closer.

You saw Alexia taking Ingrid's spot in front of you and realized she must have entered the room, not having heard the door open.

"Ale, I tried to do it all, I really did, I didn't mean to let you down," you cry. Alexia stood, pulling your seated form into a hug.

"No, nena, no, you didn't let anyone down, not at all. It's okay, it's all okay, lets just get you home." Alexia soothed, and you nod into her. She exchanges a troubled look with Ingrid, aware that something, though she wasn't quite sure what, was going on with you, and needed to be addressed.

-----

It's later that day when you wake up, actually aware of your surroundings this time. You have faint memories of coming home from practice, and Ingrid and Alexia getting you into bed, but that's pretty much where it ends. It's dark out, though, and a decent amount of time has clearly passed.

"Pequeña, how are you feeling?" Came a voice from the edge of the bed. Alexia was sitting there, looking down at you.

"Okay," you responded shakily. It was a lie, and you both knew it.

"Y/n." Alexia said warningly.

"Not great" you replied, and she nodded. You sat up, getting a grip on everything that didn't feel good, before Alexia began what you assumed to be the lecture to end all lectures.

"You had a really high fever after practice. You had no business training today, y/n, and we asked you, so many times, if you were up for it. I don't understand." Alexia said softly. You would have a expected a scolding tone to accompany these words, but Alexia was oozing kindness, softness, as if she just wanted to know what was going on with you.

You ignore her statement. "No overbearing teammates today? Just you?" You ask, referencing the lack of Lucy, Ingrid and Irene who had practically broken in when you'd gotten sick at first, and barely left until you were better.

Alexia shook her head. "No. I thought it would be better if we had this conversation just us."

"What conversation?" You asked hesitantly.

"Do you remember anything you said to Ingrid and me after training?" Alexia asked, instead of answering your question.

You shook your head. "Whatever I said, I was just out of it," you say, trying to take back whatever you had let slip.

"You kept saying that you weren't weak, that you'd finished training, and you had tried not to let the team down." Alexia stated, saying the words as though they physically caused her pain.

"Well. I did, didn't I. I tried not to let you guys down, it just didn't work. I wasn't strong enough." You reply miserably, looking out the window instead of at your captain.

"I don't understand where this is coming from. Have we made you feel like you would be letting us down if you were sick? Or that we'd think you weak if you couldn't play?" Alexia questioned.

"No one made me feel like that, Ale, that's just how it is."

"No. It isn't. None of us feel that way. We're upset because you trained sick, again. Not because you're still sick. Not because you didn't train the way you normally do."

You're quiet, and still won't meet her eyes. Alexia reached out, placing a gentle hand on your knee.

"Nena, I want to help, I want to understand. Can you try to explain to me what you were thinking?"

You can't. You have no explanation you want to give. All you want is to go back to sleep, but Alexia won't leave until she has some answers, that you know. Alexia switches tactics.

"What happened on your last team when you would get sick?" She asked carefully. Her perceptiveness shouldn't surprise you, but it always does.

"I would play." Your reply is automatic, and somewhat robotic.

"Even if you were really sick?"

You nod.

"Do you think that was okay? Them making you train when you were sick?" Alexia is filled with anger at the thought, of your previous coaches caring so little for your wellbeing, that they convinced you you needed to train, to put the team first.

"Alexia, I'm not weak. I can handle training while I'm sick, it's not that big of a deal. The team is the most important thing," you explain. It's about the 10th time you've said the words 'I'm not weak' today, and Alexia hates that you feel like you have to convince her of that. She hates everything about what you just said, really.

"The team is important, sí, but your health and safety are more important. You should not, under any circumstances, train when you are ill. Not with us, not with anyone. Do you understand?"

"But I'm just... me. The team is the team, how am I more important than the team?" you ask, voice cracking on the last word, finally looking up at Alexia with watery eyes. Your captain's face falls at your words, and you want to take back what you said.

Alexia takes a deep breath before speaking, as if calming herself down. "You are just you, and you matter to all of us. More than winning games. You are important, y/n. Your wellbeing is important. We just want you to be okay, that's all we really care about. Winning is good, obviously, but you are more important."

You aren't sure that you believe her, honestly. You want to, really, but you can't wrap your head around the idea that the team cares that much about you. No one ever really had before, and it was a strange, unsettling feeling. You were used to having to earn care, to only being acknowledged when you excelled at something. This wasn't the case at Barca, but you hadn't realized how deep that ran.

"Nena?" Alexia prompted. You weren't sure what she wanted you to say.

"I just don't want to let anyone down," you say brokenly, and Alexia sighs roughly, wrapping you in a tight hug.

"You aren't letting anyone down, pequeña, I promise you that." You allow yourself to take big, deep breaths, trying to quell the sobs that are threatening to break free. Alexia allows you to sit in silence for a minute, before speaking again, keeping you tight against her.

"I understand if you don't believe that yet. Some things run really deep, and it's hard to change them. We aren't going to give up though, alright? We aren't ever going to give up on you, no matter how long it takes to convince you. You're worth the trouble, y/n, try to remember that."

You nod against her, pulling away to wipe the tears off your face.

"Thank you, capi." You say quietly, not exactly sure you could put how thankful for her you were into words.

"Anything for you, pequeña. Anything."

-----

not too sure how i feel about this, hope no one hates it 🤞

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #barcelona femeni x reader

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