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erisenyo · 1 year

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Hello again! Somehow chapter 3 was simultaneously sweeter and angstier than the others. The time being both a curse and a blessing to Zuko? Him knowing it was almost over so he should be relieved, but ALSO making it that much harder to resist just letting his feelings out!!!! Ma'am??? MA'AM. I AM SQUISHY BE GENTLE WITH ME. I hope you know I physically gripped my chest when Sokka flirted with Zuko!!! It felt like a movie scene! Like there was background talking and music from the dancing, maybe glasses being clinked, the whole vibe of a crowded wedding. But the second Zuko lost his breath, everything faded away. I swear, I could SEE Zuko getting flustered! And Sokka pulling back afterwards with a laugh, was when all the noise flooded back in. You're so good at creating little moments for the boys to get lost in!!! Also Zuko checking out Sokka as he walked away?? Absolutely get it. He deserves to be ogled. In love with the line about him wanting to go back to being mildly interested if Sokka and Jet were flirting! The way he is immediately pining lmao. The torture you put him through is so funny.

“It’s been years,” Sokka is teasing as he tucks the jar away. “I don’t know how you’re not over it by now.”

“Yeah,” Zuko says after a beat, feeling the question like a dull ache in his chest, a familiar pain he barely notices anymore except when he pokes and prods at it. “Me, too.”

“Did you ever try?” Sokka asks, curious.

“Yeah,” Zuko says again, heartfelt and briefly closing his eyes.

This whole interaction? Not fucking okay. I am NOT OKAY. I have to go lay on the ground for a while. I'm SENSITIVE! God to admit to being in love with your best friend without actually saying it. Without them actually hearing it. Ugh. You're brilliant. The way Zuko has so many moments of yearning and Sokka clearly sees none of it. I'm literally the audience. I KNOW Sokka loves him back! But the second the perspective changes, I also feel like the character is reading into things. The chase in the kitchen? That's basically foreplay for them, and yet I'm like "You definitely shouldn't make a move, Zuko. This is just friendly groping, you know how it is." OH my God. The scene where he told Mai he was thinking about leaving.

“I don’t know if I know how to be without him,”

I genuinely started tearing up. This is truly is a divorce fic. This is why I rarely read breakup stories man! I know there's a happy ending, but it hurts!!!! You did such an amazing job making us care about these characters. Too good, actually. Imma need you to stop!!! And the last scene where he is just awful at baking but deciding to take the several hours to just make something for Sokka. He's literally the sweetest!!! But to end it with "And he knows some things can’t go back to the way they were before, no matter how much you might try your best to make it happen. 'Toss it.'" was cruel!!! The defeat in that paragraph is difficult to cope with. I need to go eat a box of brownies myself. This was so bittersweet. I loved every second, but I need to read the happy ending like 6 times to get rid of the ACHE in my chest!!!!! Thank you for literally stomping on my feelings for a whole chapter lol. I know I'm like crying in all of these comments, but I promise it's all a joke. I loved it so much and imma be thinking about it for the next WEEK. I think I need to put on some sad music now, I'll be back to yell about your beautiful writing on Friday!!!💕💕💕 Have a good day!!!!!💖💞

Hello again!! I love to hear that Ch 3 managed to up both the angst AND the sweetness! All the emotions to the max, that is what we are here for!

I love that the passage of time was so present for you this chapter, and that dual sense of relief and agony came through. The end is in sight but also the end is in sight. And when the end is in sight, well...where's the harm in a bit of indulgence? (Something Zuko might have thought...more than once in the past)

And I am LIVING for the fact that the Kataang wedding flashback was so vibrant for you! That you physically reacted! That it felt so much a movie scene with everything fading away and the focus pulling in tight to them and then suddenly rushing back in! That's exactly how I envision it in my head, complete with soundtrack and camera angles and the loving framing of Sokka's ass as he walks away as Zuko checks him out. He's earned a bit of ogling :P And poor Zuko immediately knowing it was bad, I did really line up the torture for him in this one haha

I'm doing a little happy dance that you notice and love all those little moments for the boys to get lost in, even in the midst of a crowd, and I'm THRILLED that you called out the have-you-tried-to-get-over-it-scene! That's one of my favorite exchanges of the whole story and for exactly the reason you say, all the admission and honesty that's happening without the other person even realizing it, two identical but entirely different conversations happening at the same time, miscommunication happening in the midst of talking to each other. Good stuff haha

And I LOVE that Zuko's yearning and Sokka's obliviousness worked so well, and that even knowing that Sokka has to return his feelings the POV switches and external views of each other were so effective for creating that doubt! Especially in a big giant miscommunication-that's-lasted-5+-years fic, it's so wonderful to hear that the uncertainty and doubt feel so genuinely rooted in the character's actions and how they read each other, and that Zuko doesn't come across as a total idiot for not making a move (even though we as the audience know they're both being complete idiots about it haha)

I'm so happy too that the scene with Mai where Zuko finally levels out loud about his feelings was so moving, too! (It's always weird to say I'm happy when someone tears up haha. And given the audience, I'm so happy the divorce-even-though-we-were-never-together vibe is coming through so strongly, and that it feels like such a breakup even though it doesn't have any of the 'we dated' pieces! It puts such a smile on my face that you've come to care about these versions of the characters so much :)

And that 'toss it' was rather mean, wasn't it haha? I love that the sweetness of Zuko's determination to bake something for Sokka contrasted so sharply with his defeat only a few months later, and that the sense of being worn down by it all came through so clearly. Though hopefully you could cope with the promise of the HEA incoming (and maybe some box brownies :))

You are more than welcome for the feeling stomping and the chest pains, I'm beyond happy that you're enjoying this story so much and that it's so in your head. Thank you for these lovely amazing awesome asks!!!

#asks and answers #very very sweet anons #Me: always here to stomp on your emotions and then revive them again with fluff and smut #Once again have been reading this ask over and over and grinning the whole time

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readerxlit · 3 years

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Uh OK I can't sleep it's 5am I have a doctor's appointment and I've got brainrot so;

Shin Tsukimi w/ a male s/o:

He's probably known he wasn't straight for a long time but I don't think he thinks about it a lot

Just like sometimes will see an attractive person and go "oh shit I'm gay(umbrella term)"

All is to say he's not surprised he's attracted to you but he is surprised when he's thinking so much about it

Probably confesses on accident if he does at all bc he's a nervous wreck about it and also a loser (affectionate)

Confess to him to make life easier and also to flustere him

Not a huge pda fan especially bc people suck and he does not want to deal with THAT but he will stand close to you maybe leaning if he can get away with it

In private however this man is starved for affection and touch that is actually comfortable so once he's comfortable with you he is so clingy

And like he'll pretend he's not too. Oh it's just more convenient to sit this close to you. Oh you're just more comfortable to lay against . Oh you're just....in possession of nice hands

His hands are very soft and canonically well kept so nice to hold

He wants very much to be the big spoon and honestly? Let him its kinda nice

But also hold him in your arms he'll love it

Does not initiate kissing like ever. Honestly kind of a mess about it. Very: *grabs your arms or sleeves and just holds on while kissing*

Back to the not being here for pda thing: absolutely will just leave if you try to kiss him in public. You can get away with cheek or forehead kisses but he'll pout about it

Shin is very bad at acting like- well you've played yttd and in retrospect he's not committed to the act at all. Which is all to say: this man is really bad at pretending he's not So in love with you

Everyone knows. But God he doesn't want them too. Convincing him it's okay and the others don't care is surprisingly difficult considering how not straight so many people he knows obviously are.

But once you do wow! He's so relieved

A little-read pretty- self conscious about being *weaker than a grade schooler* so unless you're also weak as hell (which: mood) you've gotta let that go unremarked on most of the time

He makes every excuse for why you should do the lifting and the opening of jars to avoid admitting he just can't

I don't know where I'm going with this post honestly

Uh I only write sfw content but mention of Not sfw real quick (I don't know how to putaread more on mibile):

Look I know I get it everyone thinks "sub shin" and you're right but hear me out: switch. He can and will he's just somehow very soft and mean simultaneously which is baffling but also yeah that's him

#shin tsukimi #sou hiyori #your turn to die #yttd #yttd x reader #shin tsukimi x reader #male reader #headcanons #allynn writes #completed #on desktop ill update that i take yytd request niw bc idk hiw to on mobile

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bored-storyteller · 3 years

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All the parts you want. If you have anything specific in mind let me know!

Part 1:"Keep death away"

Part 2:"Beyond the Mask"

39- Tokyo Ghoul- Uta x Human! Reader pt. 3

"Just like you"

His tattooed hand presses against the wardrobe door that he has just closed, right in front of you.

Your breath tickles his knuckles as he hurries to hide the jar from your view, which you only caught a glimpse of it.

Trapped between him and the piece of furniture, your guilty gaze meets his.

"Oops ... sorry." You murmur, barely smiling at him.

Uta sighs slightly, shaking his head with his sweet and calm expression: "no ... I'm sorry, I forgot they were there."

You watch him bend over to open a drawer to look for the leather straps he asked you to retrieve, only to see him return to his workstation soon after.

Were those fingers in there?

The shop has been closed for a while now, and even if you would never say it out loud, this makes you happy. It's not exactly the best for you to always be ready to snap to hide in the bathroom, waiting for his customers to leave.

It hasn't happened many times, actually, but in one of them you heard Uta justify the presence of your smell as "his next meal". It made sense, yet you couldn't ignore a shiver running down your spine.

Despite any moral expectations, since you discovered that that boy is a ghoul you have found yourself much more company with him than before. It is something of yours, mutual. Now that a frightening world has knocked on your door, the one who showed it to you has become your safety and protection, and in the same way Uta comes into your protection with concern and at bottom with a slight sense of guilt it tickles his soul, relieved simply by the relief of not having to hide from you anymore.

Even if you are now aware of who you have in front of you, however the dynamics between you two are still fragile, and above all the dynamics between you and your inner fears are fragile.

The day after the tragic and at the same time sweet evening that opened you to a completely new reality for you, he immediately took care to give you the necessary recommendations: if someone asks you for something, any person, you absolutely must instantly forget that he is a ghoul.

At first you actually felt offended. Did he really think you were that stupid to tell someone about this? Did he think you would ever endanger him?

But soon after, you realized that it was not for his safety that he worried so much. He was afraid for you.

"This is really dangerous" he had told you "If anything happens to me, nobody has to know that you know, okay?"

If anything happens to me.

You couldn't say anything clever at the time, so you just nodded, but something bittersweet had started to tingle in your heart.

He is dangerous, and at the same time in danger. You are in danger of being there with him, you are in many ways. Some would say that you are committing a crime, that you are wrong, that you deserve punishment just because you enjoy his company. Yet you can't feel guilty.

You have so many questions to ask him, but in those days since the revelation you have not asked him even one.

It is so difficult for you to understand what you are feeling. He kills, he eats people, this is now known. He is one of those monsters that the news is talking about so much, one of those monsters that should be exterminated.

Yet you are now there, observing the empty, weeping eyes of a mask behind a display case. He must have done it recently, it's the first time you've seen it.

But still, you are there, in a hidden shop where you risk finding a box of human eyes by opening a drawer, and the thing that scared you the most until the other day is that you can't get the reaction you would expect from you.

You keep looking at the masks and him as you did until last week even though you know.

You didn't tell him, but it all kept you up at night. You've always thought about it, every moment was spent to find a way out of that tangle of thoughts and emotions that went through you both in his presence and in his absence.

It was hard to make peace with yourself, it was almost scary, but in the end you accepted it. You had no choice but to accept it.

He eats people like you, but if he didn't he couldn't exist ...

"I like this mask ..." so sad, so scared, a soul of a poor devil in hell.

"Really? I recently did it. But you know, to tell the truth it gives me a strange feeling. "

Even if he doesn't look at you he is attentive to you. Even if he sits on his stool where you are, he listens to you, he perceives you, much more than you perceive him.

Now you know… someone in that cruel world has to die, and you don't want that someone to be Uta, despite the price.

Yeah, the price, that price you didn't pay.

Now there is one more thing you have to solve with yourself, something else to admit, so fragile and so strong together.

You approach him to see what he is working on - or rather to see him.

When you look at him, every time, you immediately remember that he is a ghoul, but at the same time it is as if you forget him.

You've been spending a lot of time together now, yet each time you want more, and you don't really care how wrong it is.

“Listen…” his peaceful voice quickly distracts you from your thoughts “… you've been pretty quiet lately. Do you feel ok?"

His hands do not stop for a moment to work, to create. He certainly has deadlines to meet and yet what he is doing is not simple work, it is art. You feel privileged to be able to observe it at work.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I've been thinking too much lately."

You just laugh, a little embarrassed and a little really strangely and genuinely amused by that turn that everything is taking, as long as you are with Uta you feel free to smile again, despite everything.

You move closer to get a better look at his fingers intertwining with ribbons and straps. Who knows how he does it.

"Is it really such a big problem that I'm a ghoul?"

His words rain down on you like a cold shower interrupting all consideration, yet on his part they were necessary.

Uta also finds himself strangely surprised. His skilled hands interrupt the art, in the surprise of that new doubt that until now he had ignored.

No, in fact, he hadn't really ignored it. It had simply always presented itself in a thousand other terms that had never been posed as such a placid question.

He had experienced that stigma, that exclusion from the beauty of the world in a thousand sick ways, but never as he is experiencing it now with you.

And again that world that runs too fast for him returns, that world that "loves only humans", yet in his selfishness he prays on the sidelines that you will be able to give up that love that that magnificent world grants you, to stay there immobile, with a Pierrot like him.

For a moment Uta doesn't know what to do, whether to resume his job to avoid your gaze and protect himself, or to risk looking at you, discovering your emotions.

Yet before he can decide, he feels your movement.

You don't even know what you're really doing, you just know that for some reason at that moment you need to feel him as much as possible, to understand, to fix yourself.

Kneeling on the cold floor, in the intimate solitude of the closed shop, you let your arms surround his waist without fear. Your head in his lap, nestled against him as much as possible.

He doesn't react, he just looks at you, blank in the face.

Suddenly he feels angry restlessness rising in him. What are you doing? He can't read it, what does it mean?

For some reason he can't really feel your hug, it's as if he doesn't contemplate it among the possibilities. You're hugging someone else there. Snuggled against his stomach, you are approaching human victims like you, not him. There is no bridge between you two, it is impossible to believe.

There is no way that you, little fragile human, can really accept something so big, he cannot ask it to you, he thinks ... and yet ...

"I like it ..." your words are light, shy, and even fearful. Afraid of the scope of what you are saying, of that bestial confession you are revealing "that you are a ghoul ... I like it ..."

And that's the hard truth. It's just something of him, it's him, it's something attractive.

It is attractive to know that those gentle lips could bite you and trap your flesh, that those light hands could tear you apart. That safe sense of danger he gives you is tempting, and the trust you place in him just makes you enjoy that awareness.

This is hard even for you to admit, but you cannot ignore it, nor leave him unaware.

And once again your words overturn his stage, destroy it and rebuild it according to a new conformity.

He is surprised, you can feel it from his breath that stops for a moment, jumps against your cheek.

One thing he loves about you is that he can't help but believe you. No matter how much those words may be at odds with everything life has taught him, if you say it then it's true for him.

His delicate fingers intertwine with your hair, light, almost shy. His hand caresses you patiently, aware, almost as if he is caressing a child, while he holds you there in a sweet constriction.

"Really?"

His calm question about him is not a request for confirmation, as much as wanting to hear you say the things he never has the words to say.

You rise from your seat, getting back on your feet, but unexpectedly you are prevented from walking away from him.

Now it's his arms that surround your waist, and you find yourself there, trapped between his knees and his arms, without being squeezed. His eyes look at you attentively, his bizarre face shows nothing but his calm composure - which does not at all reflect the vibrations of his heart -.

“I think… it's part of you, you wouldn't be the same otherwise. I like it."

You don't know with what courage you spoke those words, so sure and sincere.

You are not embarrassed, perhaps because you both love that little world that belongs only to you, where no one can see and hear you, that behind the scenes of the circus of life.

And it is your way of seeing reality that he likes, what he needs. That your putting Uta before the ghoul, that small and natural confirms that you always give him. This is what still gives many hope, the existence of someone like you, who knows how to see things in the order in which they should be seen. It is the principle for which love exists between humans and ghouls.

The light and affectionate smile that is painted on his lips is the confirmation that is needed, nothing else.

"I could eat you ..."

"I know" but you won't.

You should be food for him, you are. You are a possible meal, but you are also a person. You are someone. You talk, laugh, joke, cry, get angry ... and over time he has learned to want to keep it all, because he likes the way you are. Though you may be his source of life, just imagining feeding on you becomes painful for him. The thought of devouring you, of consuming you, of making you disappear from the world, of swallowing your body, your laughter and your tears, your voice calling his name… has become extremely painful.

And he's also sure you don't really know what you're saying, he's sure you want to change a lot of things about him if you only knew them, but for now it's okay that you only know that drama.

Indeed, no, it is not a scene. Uta is Uta, whole and sincere. What you know is the real and authentic facade of Uta that you deserve to know, there is nothing wrong with that, and he is sure you know it.

Everyone is modeled on relationships, you do too, but it's not that you are less true with him than with others.

The same goes for him, and despite this he is also aware that the affection that binds him to you will not change when he is talking to Renji, and not even when he is at the center of an auction. Uta is always Uta, and you are always you, no matter where you are or who you are with.

Two extremely complex creatures, monster and prey that still share something so profound and at the same time solid and concrete.

His lips curl slightly more, in a vague expression of veiled sweetness.

"Good."

His hand slips on the table as he stands up, but you don't notice it, too focused on seeing that the other hand hasn't given up on the touch on your hips.

Only when something lands on your face do you wake up. You do not understand it immediately, but the mask, still white and anonymous, is now on you, supported by him.

Before you can say anything or ask for an explanation, Uta is close to you, so close that you know you can feel the hard cover vibrating slightly on your cheeks under his breath.

It is still too early, everything is too delicate to utter certain words between you two, to give voice to deep and primitive feelings, which have nothing forbidden even though society would like you to believe.

It is not for fear that you will not admit what you both know, it is just for the pleasure of enjoying that moment, that moment before, that sweet harboring the affectionate secret.

This is why it is the stiff and cold lips of the mask that are kissed, a slight barrier that separates the delicacy of that touch from you.

A kiss that doesn't whet anyone's appetite, is just a silent admission of something extremely big.

And as the mask came, it goes away, returning to its place, leaving you uncovered and incredulous.

Uta also moves away, returning to turn his attention to the stock cabinet, abandoning you still and dazed in front of that almost dreamlike situation.

"Uta?"

"Yes?"

His answer is always ready as he rummages through the rolls of tissue.

"What was that?"

His quiet face of him turns to you, and you know him well enough to notice that slight amused glint in his eyes.

"What was what?"

“That! You know!"

A slight amused snort from him lets you know you'll never get your answers: "You must have daydreamed."

-End-

#tokyo ghoul #uta tokyo ghoul #uta x human reader #uta x reader #uta tg #tokyo ghoul headcanons #tokyo ghoul x reader #tokyo ghoul oneshot #request #tokyo ghoul uta

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