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#I'm kinda brain-dead rn

paracosmicparadox · 11 months

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Can we talk about Andrew Minyard for a second? Specifically the way he talks? I loved Andrew's character for a lot of reasons, but his wit has definitely got to be the primary aspect of his personality that got me hooked in book one. I know that his clever turns of phrase and out-of-pocket references can be partially attributed to his eidetic memory and instant-recall, but the fact that his personality is also just Like That is amazing. As someone who nerds out over interesting vocabulary and witticisms (my friends tell me I talk like a skater boy who swallowed a dictionary), I very quickly grew attached to him?? His story makes me so emotional, book two Messed Me UP, and I swear I would fight for this man tooth and nail in just about any situation if it meant sparing him some of the shit he goes through. Like, he's brilliant, he's witty, he cares so much, and he deserved so much better than the shitty lot he drew in life. I acknowledge that he has his flaws, but y'all I will talk about him for hours if you let me.

#aftg #foxhole court #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg andrew #andrew minyard #sorry if this is incoherent #I'm kinda brain-dead rn

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chuuyas--boo · 2 years

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what is your favorite song at the moment? And what specific songs remind you of a f/o you / what song would you associate your f/o(s) with?

Miss wanna die atm

Supermassive black hole reminds me of Chuuya, Cannibal reminds me of Ej

#Crow <3 #f/o: chuuya nakahara #F/o: eyeless jack #i'm kinda brain dead rn #{anti gravity}#{Jack's kidney supplier}

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noowayybroo · 5 months

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Give the dog a bone (Part 2) (NSFW)

Characters: Dogman!Leon Kennedy, F!Reader (Part 1 is SFW GN! Reader)

PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS: Smut and NSFW, Young people DNI. Dogman Leon. Dead dove IG?? p in v. Porn with some plot. Reader is female (sorry) breeding, pregnancy mention, (these tags might be all wrong I havent started writing yet) Leon and reader are initially friends / colleagues. Set after RE4. Lazy writing because I'm too busy and hate writing no cap. dogman anatomy. Hunnigan exists but is irrelevant. Nipple/ breast play / suckling. F Receiving oral. this fic is really slow and boring, shower, Leon washes, you, then you guys fuck. It's like slowburn but like it's not a burn just a bemusing fizzle. ..... knotting. LEON GETS A BIT MEAN AT THE END BUT HES STILL KINDA GENTLE AND ITS NOT EXACTLY CONSENT BUT I THINK IF READER SAID NO HE WOULD STOP LMAO YOU FEEL??? some name calling like "slut" toward the end, mention of puppies and brain numbing and stuff.

SORRY GUYS ITS A LONG ONE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE SO IT JUST GOT LIKE LONGER N LONGER AS I PANICKED.

I feel so gross for writing this. I'm so happy you don't know who I am.

Rushing under the shelter of your roof, you fumble with your keys in the lock so you can move to make room for Leon on the doorstep. Leon hadn't had an umbrella this time, and the both of you were sopping wet, not able to run home fast enough.

Panting, you finally stumble through your own front-door, Leon crowding onto the doorstep behind you to cower from the rain. You turn back to face him, and your eyes are snagged by his own piercing ones as they gaze attentively at you. Cold rain soaks and matts the short fur on his ears, and drips down his dark fringe onto his face as his wide eyes only leave you to search your hallway.

Recently, Leon had taken to breathing heavily through his mouth when physically exerted. His jaw lazily hung open, revealing unusually sharp teeth and what seemed to be a much longer tongue as he panted. Occasionally, it would flick up to lick at his lips or fangs, but he was bashful about the matter. Catching your gaze, he slams his mouth shut and seems to bully himself into breathing through his nose.

He looks away, too, glancing past you into your home, desperately avoiding contact with your possibly judging eyes. His lids hang low as he adjusts to the bright light you flick on and his ears sit low to his head. Now you're aware of his tail, you can see it straight though his sweat-pants, though he may try hide it. The thick, bushy, and perhaps a little damp appendage clings to his leg in silent apology as he awkwardly glances between you and the interior of your home.

He eyes the space in which your hallway becomes a room; a place he'd never before set foot. There's a subtle hint in his eyes. They're almost pleading, puppy dog eyes as he gazes at this uncharted territory, but he refuses to look you in the eyes, as if he wouldn't dare ask you to allow him into your space. Rain hammering just centimetres behind him, still splashing at his back, you decide it'd be rude to just send him on his way now. Besides, you could do with some company. He wasn't just man's best friend now, he was yours.

laugh rn

"Leon, I don't want you getting sick." His ears perk up, head tilting to the side again and mouth slightly ajar. With the warm light from your home flooding past you, you probably did appear slightly angelic to him in this moment. His mouth opens, just as he's about to protest to save face, but you cut him off. "You don't have an umbrella, and we don't have work tomorrow. Why don't you come in and dry off?" His alert expression eases a little and he gives you a sheepish smile, bowing his head a little.

"You sure? It's fine, I really can just go-"

"Leon, come here." you giggle, stepping further into your home after you've kicked off your shoes and hung up your coat. Your words his command, Leon eagerly follows you, but makes sure not to move far from the door until he's removed his shoes and hoodie, placing them respectfully. Shy and gentle in his actions, his posture is bowed again, watching you nervously for any signs of discomfort. He was aware of the position he was putting you in. He knew he could scare, or even worse, hurt you, and he was very careful to prevent it.

You'd seen, over the last few weeks, Leon's tail slowly become more long and bushy. You'd watched the ears on his head darken a little in colour, and you'd noticed his nails and hands appearing a little larger and stronger over time. Whilst there were some changes in mannerisms and his personality you could pick on, there were things you simply did not know:

As he sat with you, Leon could smell you. He could identify your emotions and even that you were about to get ill before it hit you. He could hear your heart quicken and slow in different situations. He felt so connected to you now, he felt so nosey, because he could sense things he wasn't meant to be able to pick up on. He knew things he wouldn't dream of asking you. Leon swallows thickly as he watches you. His newfound primal senses kept him on his toes. He began to see you more of a partner, though he tried to fight it. Whilst his change kept him fearing virginity, a gnawing part of him identified you as the one for him.

You were the one he wanted. He wanted to test his new senses on you. He wanted to display his newfound strength to you, to impress and protect you. He wanted to be close to you. He wanted to use his newfound lust to please you. Woah, woah stop there. He shakes his head and looks away from you, face blank. He wasn't going to just take you. Sure, he wanted you, but he was no monster. All you had to do was say no, and he'd leave, tail tucked between his legs. Just the thought had him cowering in the corner.

Lost in his thoughts, in your scent, in your home, Leon realises how wrong all of this is now.. He can't have these thoughts about you, his friend. His best friend. This must be such a betrayal to you. It would terrify you, wouldn't it? You'd hate him. He should leave now and never let you find out how he feels.

Despite his hesitance and nerves, something within Leon rips his thoughts away from rationality as the scent and warmth of your home bombards him. Door now closed behind him, you surround, and he can't help but sniff the air. Addicted to the information that flowed into him. He could tell what your last few meals had been. He knew where your bedroom was, he could smell your exhaustion, and he could sense your confusion as you watched him stand, pressed against the door, turning eagerly, looking around, and consuming the smell of you. Then, his brows furrow as he notices your glare and he freezes.

Eventually, you get him to follow you into your home. You lay some warm blankets down on the couch and get things ready for a comfy night in as Leon explores your home. Before you can finish, though, you decide you have to make him more comfortable. With some encouragement, he removes his sweatpants and shirt and you replace them with the largest set of pyjamas you have. He's grateful, his fluffy tail wagging and standing to attention as you tend to him and dry it off.

Just as you're patting Leon's face dry, something comes over him, and he shakes his head hard, flinging water all over you and nearby parts of your home. He goes still, eyes wide, realising his mistake.

"Y/N, fuck, I am so sorry-" he stammers, reaching out to place his hands on your shoulders to ground one of the two of you. His hands are wet too and further soak you, and upon realising this he jumps away, tail cemented to his legs as he backs away, eventually calming down to the sound of your soft giggles and insistence that it is in fact alright.

You leave Leon on the couch with some snacks as you'd both eaten at work, and after popping to your room to freshen up and get dressed yourself, you return to him. His eyes never leave you from the second you leave your room to that when you sit next to him on the couch, just touching. His gaze was so prompt, so intense that you wondered if he'd somehow been watching you while you were in your room.

Hours pass of you watching your favourite films, as Leon had insisted he wouldn't have it another way, and the both of you have drifted significantly closer to each other over time. The sky was pitch black outside, and, whilst it had stopped raining, there was no way you'd send him home now. No, you were going to be a little selfish, you thought to yourself as Leon leaned up against you, snuggled into your side, nose buried in one of the blankets from your bed as he held it to his face.

His tail had been non-stop wagging for hours, eyes wide as he watched the screen, occasionally glancing back at you, checking up on your expression. His ears sat flat to his head, content, and he only freed his face to give a gentle yawn. You'd never been this close to Leon before, but even now, you thought something else had changed about him. Maybe it was the soft whimpers and whines he very quietly gave off or the way he juddered and shook with excitement beside you. Perhaps it was his smell... It definitely was strong, but not unpleasant.

Perhaps it was the way he lifted his head as you thought, ears perked up and turned to you, as if he could sense you thinking about him. He watches you, face only inches from yours as he sniffs the air softly. This time, he doesn't glance back at the screen, he just watched you, eyes locked onto yours until you duck away bashfully.

"S-sorry..." he mumbles, realising his mistake before leaning his head down on your shoulder like your very own pet dog might do. His face is almost touching your cheek, his breath hot on your neck as his gentle huffs turn into intrigued sniffs. He proceeds to investigate you further, squirming a little to get closer to you, one arm holding you close as he more-or-less lays on you.

You certainly notice the change, his warm front pressed up against you, pinning you down slightly. Yet, glancing down at his face makes you feel as though it's all unintentional. He seems so content and happy, in a world of his own, gazing up at you as if you'd just given him a home. "L-leon.... are you alright?" you whisper softly, watching as, again, his ears stand to attention.

"I'm... I'm uhhh..." he mumbles, lost in his thoughts, or lack thereof, as he almost purrs deep in his throat. He's half way through yet another greedy, deep breath of your scent when he realises that maybe you're not enjoying this as much as he is. His eyes shoot open and he scrambles to use his arms to relieve some of the weight on you "I-I'm sorry... Are you alright?" "I'm fine" you whisper, gently cupping his face, trying, and succeeding, to soothe him "just tell me how you feel, please?"

He pauses for a moment, eyes fluttering shut either to allow him to think, or in response to your touch. He nuzzles into your hand for a while before humming "I think I'm really hyper..."

Before now, throughout the night, you and Leon had been talking about his changes. He'd opened up to you a little about how worried he was. Before Leon went to Spain, you'd spoken to him about his issues with dating.

He told you that, to his dismay, many of the women who approached him were either spies or simply deterred by how busy and dangerous his work was. He had confided in you that now, now he was somewhat freakish, now he had the mind of a dog, and the partial anatomy of one, nobody would approach him.

You could do nothing but simply assure him that that was not the case. You told him he was wonderful, you reminded him that he was a hero, and you assured him that anybody who got to know him would swoon in an instant. And then, the conversation died there.

Until now.

There was a short silence once Leon, with your guidance, had slowly relaxed back against you. "Y/N?" He sighs softly against you.

"....Yeah?"

"W..." there's a silence again, but you know not to push him. Instead, you gently pat his shoulder, soothing him into visibly easing up. His muscles relax over you and eventually, he speaks again "Would you...?" he whimpers, burying his face in your side to hide his pretty eyes from you.

"...Would you... like me?" he whispers, hands instinctively cupping you as he wraps you into a firm hug "Would you... mind me?" Taken aback, you pause for a moment.

Was he asking if you'd date him, despite his condition, hypothetically? Sure you would, he was your best mate, and you kinda liked him. You didn't believe he had a bad bone in his body. So, you decide to be honest, thinking nothing more will come of it. You gently continue to pat his head.

"Yeah, Leon, of course, you're the best" you hum absent-mindedly. Again, it's not like you were lying, but you didn't really expect him to go for you. You just stayed honest with the hopes of making him feel a little better about himself. And... perhaps it worked, because suddenly, he shuffles further up you, tail thumping loudly against the couch as he begins to nose into your neck shyly. He nuzzles into you, sniffing softly, thrilled, tickling your neck and making you giggle.

"h-hey!" You exclaim shyly, "quit that!" you try and pat him to encourage him to leave off, but he only gets more insistent and playful.

"Y-you mean it?" he chuffs into you ""You like me?" his words are a muffled mess, disappearing into your jaw as he noses further along it. Once you give in, confirming with a gentle nod and a breathy 'yes', it's all over. He's on his knees above you, pinning you down chest-to-chest. Occasionally, his tongue darts out slightly, puppy-lapping at your skin, soon becoming a trail of hungry, loving kisses as he approaches your ear.

He moved so quickly, nipping your lobe softly, playfully before burying his head into you bashfully. He snuggled close, happy, soon becoming restless again and leaning away to gaze in awe at you. The black of his pupil devours all that innocent blue you're so used to seeing stare back at you so often, and the red flush in his cheeks is oh-so-pretty.

You feel strange. Guilty, almost. You knew something was affecting him but it's not like he was drunk or anything. This change of heart was permanent, it'd live with him forever, and so, probably, he wouldn't try and take it back in a hurry. Just to stop him doing so even if he tried, you grin mischievously "Yes, Leon. I like you." you laugh.

He dives into you, kissing your lips with soft insistence until you let him in, at which point, the taste of you drives him crazy. Greedily, he licks into your mouth, repeatedly alternating again and again between sweet kisses and hot, needy groans as he devours you. He rests his weight on his knees as he leans over you, hands caressing your sides lovingly, softly squeezing and feeling whatever he can reach, loving the sensation of you.

You thought it'd be absolutely gross to have a grown man lick you. All of your instincts, and probably all of your friends, would tell you that is NOT how you kiss, and that this man has no skill. However, this man was Leon Kennedy, and... something about it in this scenario just felt right. (He was a dogman now LMAO)

You sigh, in much more of a cuddly, wholesome mood than his energetic, frisky one. Wrapping your arms around him, you pull him close. He groans softly again as you begin to kiss him back, massaging his back and scalp with your hands and writhing your body into him.

More desperate, whining a little, he cuddles into you, gyrating hips moulding with yours in desperate search of friction. Leon moves on instinct above you, gentle but persistent as he unknowingly moves to feel as much of you as possible.

Large and strong hands roam your smaller form beneath him, one gently kneading the soft flesh of your breast through any clothing that remained, whilst the other cupped your face with intimacy. He couldn't take it anymore, being nestled in your warm neck where he couldn't see you. Sitting back on his haunches, his weight on your hips, Leon admired the sight of you below him, still unable to tear his hands from your soft breasts.

Realisation hits him eventually, and his heavy lids and blissed-out expression suddenly fade a little.

"Oh my God, Y/N" He whines, throwing his head back, sighing as he looks back down at you again. "I'm so sorry, you're just so-" Despite his words, he can't seem to break away from you, one hand still kneading at your flesh, teasing at your nipple, the location of which he's deduced from your breaths and sighs. He takes one of your hands in his and holds it close to himself, treasuring your touch. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't ask you-" he blabbers out, clearly feeling guilty.

His insistent squeezing stops for once as he waits for a reply, pleading eyes watching you with bated breath. He fell still, heavy breaths parting his lips, thick tail stilled and resting on your leg. You knew Leon would take 'no', for an answer, at least you really hoped he would, but really, you just wanted to see how far he'd go.

All it took was your soft smile and another nod, before his face lit up, eyes wide, ears perked and tail beating at your legs. He buries his face back into your neck, softly kissing and nibbling and licking at any exposed flesh. His body-weight cages you once more. Smothering warmth. An arm reaches down to position your legs, encouraging you to wrap them around him as he presses his core into yours greedily.

Throwing a blanket over the both of you to keep you warm, Leon proceeds to work his way gradually down towards your breasts, leaving goose bumps and saliva in his wake. Initially, he tries to nuzzle at your garments, absent-mindedly willing himself beneath them, but when that doesn't work, he has to tug them down, pouting and grumbling until he finally removes them in order to proceed. Despite his desperation, the movement is smooth and caring, and he further tugs the blanket over you to keep you warm.

The further Leon lowers himself across your body, the more needy and whiny he becomes, drunk on you. His face never leaves your hot skin, breath and lashes tickling you as he glances lovingly between your body and face. Once Leon reaches your breasts, deft and large hands finally reach them once more. He traces the edges of them before kneading them together, toying with them, admiring their unique shape and softness. He gropes and admires them before longing kisses become needy suckling.

He groans deep in his throat, body collapsing onto yours as his lips latch onto one nipple, tongue tracing over the sensitive bud. Eyes fluttered shut, Leon hums and whines as he kneads your flesh absent-mindedly, only responding to you. Depending on your precious sounds and expressions, he either works harder on you, slows down, or switches nipples entirely until you're sighing and writhing deliciously below him.

Leon seemed like a master to you. He knew exactly how to make you feel good, and whilst slightly rough, did not hurt you at all. He was loving, and you believed just how much he wanted you with every desperate grind of his hips against you. He was perfect and sweet, even when desperately horny.

In his head, however, he was a nervous wreck. He loved this, he loved you, you enthralled you, just by laying there, and each time he glanced up at you, his body shivered with excitement. You were perfect, and whilst his usual introverted self would like to observe you from a safe distance, afraid of upsetting or hurting you, his mind had become more feral, more primal. He wanted to please you, to impress you, all because he loved you. Undeterred by his painfully hard cock, he continued to worship you, part of him afraid you'd never let him do it again.

You squirm against his hips, just getting comfortable, but it reminds Leon that much, much more interesting parts of you exist. With some soft, parting kisses to your breasts and a breathy "Fuck, you're so perfect" he moves down, gently kissing and gripping at your stomach, until he's on his knees at the far end of the couch, a little further from your spread legs. Carefully, he removes your underwear, sliding it from each leg respectfully, and after gently nudging your legs to allow him access to your core... nothing happens.

Curious, you lift the blanket a little to peak at Leon. His face is blank, jaw ajar as he stares longingly at your pussy. A long tongue hangs from his startled face as he takes deep huffs of your scent. Transfixed, he doesn't seem to have noticed you watching him, nor does he register the thick glob of drool that's made contact with your couch.

He's well aware that he never asked you for your permission. He never asked how far this could go, however, something within him drew him to you. You smelled so good, you looked so good, and, he wouldn't admit it but you were the first pussy he'd eaten (he worried you'd probably decipher this instantly through his lack of skill.) To you, though, it seemed as though Leon might not want to do this afterall. Concerned, you gently reach to pat his head, hoping to focus his gaze back on you, but instead, he takes this as confirmation.

Like a salivating dog being told 'Eat', he buries his face into your pussy, ravenous. His thick tongue licking an apprehensive stripe from top to bottom, and instantly, his eyes light up. Leon screws his eyes tight, returning to eagerly lick at you, each breath a moan as he shoves his face as far as he can into you. He doesn't seem to care about the mess he's making of himself, or about you, lost in a world of his own as he begins to devour you.

Leon snuggles close, tail thumping hard against the couch as his ears stand to attention, absorbing any sounds you make. Licking into you now, he eagerly slurps up your juices, alternating between lapping at your folds, slick with his saliva, and giving gentle kisses and nudges to your clit (which he's just remembered was a thing.)

You can't help but release breathy moans as Leon consumes you, his hands now softly grabbing and kneading at your soft thighs, sometimes pulling away to kiss and nibble at them. Your sounds and small movements, grinding shyly against his face, only egg him on, and before long, a calloused thumb finds your clit, resting there for a while before rubbing small, fast circles, sending you reeling into his touch. You can feel Leon breathe a smirk onto you as he continues to lap and suck, swiftly building a pleasurable warmth within your belly.

Peering up at you, Leon senses your release and begins to work harder, the couch beginning to sway a little as he grinds and humps down into it desperately. His groans and whines vibrate deep within you, working with each hot and heavy breath to please you.

Eventually, that tightness into your core becomes intense enough to have your back arching, and in response, Leon's hand leaves your thigh to softly caress your stomach, soothing you. Seemingly a master of multi-tasking, he continues his skilful ministrations on you until your release. A hot buzz of pleasure rushes through you, eyes screwed shut as you shake and moan beneath him. Leon, panting heavily, slows his movement, still lovingly sucking and licking at your pussy, occasionally toying with your clit, until you come down, stilling in his hold.

You feel warm and sweaty, gross. You know the couch is probably coated in slick, and if not, definitely in his saliva. Expecting Leon to desperately come up for air, or part with you, you're surprised to feel him rest his warm face on your stomach, gazing up at you lovingly as his tail brushes over your legs repeatedly. He rocks the sofa with his excited, playful shivers as you smile down at him, a little nervous.

He licks his lips, entirely black eyes staring back at you. You feel a little guilty, seeing how coated he is in you, and not even his new long tongue can seem to clean up the mess you made. Leon doesn't seem to mind.

"How do you taste so good?", he rasps, large hand lifting your blanket nonchalantly so he can get a good look at you. His question has you squirming awkwardly, trying to close your legs, but finding them innocently pinned down by his weight. Absent-mindedly, the dogman pins his head up on one arm to gaze at you lovingly, whilst, his other hand mindlessly toys with your clit once you take hold of the blanket for him.

Shocked, you let out a small squeal and tell him to leave off, which, eventually he does. Apologetic eyes turn to dumbfounded ones as you suggest maybe helping him out. He stutters a little before finally finding his words. He seems surprised you'd even mention performing any sexual act on him.

"Y-Y/N -", he breathes, shocked, "You don't have to do that... it's fine. I-"

"Leon, it's alright. You helped me so maybe I can-"

"I already came...."

"...Are you sure? I want to-"

"Twice..." he groans, letting his head fall against your belly in shame, hot breath fanning you again as he lets out a long, miserable sigh. Lost for words and surprised, all you can do is gently pat his head as he lays there, motionless, seemingly mulling things over. You feel the need to reassure him. I mean, honestly, you were more than flattered.

"Is it normally that easy for you?" You choke out. Okay, that was NOT what you were meant to ask. Leon raises his head, eyes meeting yours, defeated. "I mean- wait look, Leon, I'm flattered" you chuckle "There's nothing wrong with it... Let's chill for a bit and then we can get cleaned up..." You soothe him, gently rubbing his ears, running your free hand through his hair.

In all honesty, you were spent, more than satisfied. You wouldn't mind chilling with him for a few hours, maybe sleeping together. Leon seemed utterly defeated too, the second you started toying with him, his head fell back onto your belly, resigning there, basking in your warmth and touch. A few minutes later, he lets out a wide-mouthed puppy yawn, exposing his sharp teeth, and that devilish tongue to you once more. Maybe you should both go for a wash now, he seemed tired.

"...Could go again..." a lazy, sultry mumble makes its way to your ears.

"...again?", you cock an eyebrow down at him, somewhat impressed by his stamina. "W-wait... eat me out again?" You don't know if you're ready for that-

He looks up at you, tilting his head as if debating what to say next. His face scrunches up and he almost cringes at himself before whining, "Gotta come again..." there's a short silence "I-if that's okay with you-" And then he shuffles backward and nuzzles his face into your cunt again, surprising you.

"Woah, woah, no no it's okay!" you shuffle away, breaking free of his weak hold and lifting his head to look at you "Let me help you this time, Leon." In response to your words, his eyes drift away, avoiding contact with yours. His face becomes a little more red, and his voice a little shaky.

"I don't think it's a good idea, actually.... M-maybe we should get you washed first..." Leon was acting a little strangely now, clinging to you needily, but refusing to look at you, just like a dog who'd done something wrong. This was the first time he'd taken his eyes off of you, but he was still fidgeting. He shook slightly, as if overcome by some great surge of adrenaline. He continued to sniff the air every now and then, looking away shyly. He knew you knew he could smell you. He was ashamed to be obsessed with you.

He kneels before you, ready to get up to give you space. "I don't understand why, Leon. Why are you so nervous about it?" You ask softly and his whole posture falls. His shoulders go limp as he looks back at you, crushed. After a moment of stillness, he stands up properly, ensuring he doesn't disturb the blanket atop you, keeping you warm.

"Look... I'm not a human anymore" He warns, gruffly. His gait becomes serious as he peers down at you. "It might not be safe." Suddenly, Leon's gone from loving, pussy drunk puppy to safety obsessed, matter-of-fact guard dog. His tail is still behind him, but authoritative in its stance, and his ears are stuck up and guarding. Half way between the two, your eyes glue themselves to the mess he's made on his shirt, almost entirely soaked through with your essence. And he doesn't seem to care at all.

"We can try-" you sit up eagerly, only to be met with Leon pinching the bridge of his nose, looking away and sighing.

"You don't get it. I've changed. E-even eating you out made me feel... strange. A-and my cock, it's-" you cut off his rambling by standing before him, naked. It's clear he wants it. You can tell by the freakishly large bulge and wet patch in his pants. You can tell by the way his eyes soften and his lids droop as they settle on your form. What a pervert.

His stammering is cut short as you approach him, and, once you reach him, you tell him sternly, "I don't care what's changed about you, Leon, I love you. So now, we're going to go and have a shower. And then, we're probably gonna fuck." Mouth hanging open, Leon can only blink at you. He swallows hard once you reach him, wrapping your arms around his neck and staring up at him oh-so-enticingly. He can't help himself. Cheeks burning, he leans down and gives you a soft, hungry kiss.

Strong biceps envelop you, and without warning, he lifts you into them. Once you're secure, he peppers your neck with kisses, hands roaming you as his legs auto-pilot him towards the direction you'd glanced in before. If he was lucky, he'd find your bathroom. If he were really lucky, he'd find your bedroom. Leon groans into your neck as he carries you, wrapped up in your senses again. Something about you bossing him around really did something for him, and he jostles you a little higher in desperate hopes of you not feeling just how solid he is.

Soon, Leon's letting you down on your bathroom floor, gazing down at you as if you're the most beautiful, elegant flower he's ever-

No time for that, you tug his shirt off, muscular arms lazily lifting themselves to allow you to manhandle him. That is, until, he has to crouch down as you're too short to remove his clothes all the way. You both giggle, joy easing the nerves somewhat. Leon's body tenses as he strips his own pants off, chucking them to the floor. His face apologetic as he scans yours for your reaction to his... development.

You never thought cocks actually sprung free from clothing in real life. You'd certainly never seen it before outside of fanfiction or animated porn, and you were astounded when it did just that. Not only that, but his cock was huge. Much more red than normal, it was certainly beautiful to look at. The shape was almost perfect, with a noticeable girth the closer it got to his body. It seemed to stare back at you with just as much lust as you it as it stood to attention, dribbling precum slowly, some of which had been flung to the floor.

Eventually tearing your eyes away from your new challenger, you notice that Leon had, again, torn his from you a while ago. He stood staring at the wall just past you, shyly facing your inspection of him. So... whatever he had contracted... had done THAT to his cock? It must have been at least two or three inches larger than you'd expected and whilst yes, it was intimidating, it was a challenge you would not shy away from accepting.

The only problem now was, you think to yourself as you turn to run the shower, there was no way you'd be able to give him head and call it payback. You definitely were going to fuck. "It's amazing" you breathe, looking up at Leon and then down at his cock, twitching in response to your words. His tail starts to slowly sway back and forth.

"You're just saying that-" he flushes, cock bouncing again as he finally looks you up and down again. His ears stand alert, and as steam slowly fills the room, he begins to pant. Following you into the shower, Leon waits for you to hand him some shampoo and soaps to use before cleaning himself down as you do. To no surprise, Leon's finished long before you are.

This becomes apparent when two large hands gently nudge yours aside, massaging your shampoo into your scalp for you. A soft, commanding grip on your chin guides you to look up as he wipes any remaining suds from your forehead before getting to work. Each of his fingers draw smooth, deep circles into you. His touch is like magic and has you completely unwinding.

Just as you reach the false illusion that he can't get better, he moves to a spot of your head that neither of you had yet and you stumble back into his toned form. His hands reach out to gently grasp you, holding you securely until you find your legs, and then he continues to clean you.

As he massages your back, you feel him pressed up against you. His excitement evident in the way his cock kicks against your ass. As he tends to you, you can't help but relax and soften, feeling so warm and secure, both inside and out. He's so sweet, and kind.

Once Leon finishes, he pulls away to allow you to rinse off, and, as you turn to face him, he tenderly looks down at you. His fringe is soaked, messily clinging to his face, partly obstructing his eyes. Ears and tail a damp, matted mess, he grins nervously back at you, seeking your approval as they perk up questioningly. Despite his cute act, you can tell that he is utterly downbad for you!!

Leaning in softly and pecking the gentle giant on the lips, you butter him up before leading him by the hand from the shower. Obediently, he follows you, armed with a towel each, to your bedroom. You dry yourselves off half-heartedly as he chases you along the corridor. Reaching your room, Leon follows shyly, closing the door carefully between the two of you.

Turning to face him, you notice how it takes him a while to register your gaze, forcing him to tear his eyes from where your butt was only seconds ago. He seems transfixed, mouth slightly ajar before he wakes himself up with a violent head-shake, flinging water everywhere. He smiles goofily at you. Almost distracting enough for you to forget about his angry red cock and the way it bobs and twitches, almost begging for your touch.

You weren't really sure what to do for Leon, so, you wanted to encourage him to do as he pleased. You hang your towel over your chair, prompting Leon to copy, and by the time he's turned back to face you, you're lying back in the middle of your bed, legs spread, holding your arms out to him. From 0 to 100 in seconds, his tail begins to wag. Eyes light up as your friend's ears stand to alert, and slowly, he approaches.

Waiting with baited breath, you're startled to see the man slowly stalk towards you. He's enamoured with you, eyes trained on your body, flickering between your breasts, your thighs, your face... Heck -every part of you. Meanwhile, legs on autopilot towards you. He still wears a small smile, despite his loose jaw, and as he reaches the edge of the bed, he pauses. He seems nervous, unsure of how to proceed.

Leon bites his lip, taking a deep breath. His eyes meet yours, begging for permission before his knee sinks into the bed. The bed shifts below you as he gently crawls up you, head hung low, eyes worshipping you from below once more. He seemed to enjoy that, being below you, or perhaps it was his new way of showing care and respect.

Anticipation grows within you. Sure, he hadn't exactly given you a strip-tease earlier, but now, with how slow his movements were (and how slowly i'm writing this fic), you spent far too long wondering how things would actually feel. You didn't miss the way his nostrils flared subtly as his face brushes past your abdomen, leaving small kisses along your delicate skin. Nor did you miss the way he gently suckled on one of your nipples, peppering the area in small kisses.

He didn't want to make either of you wait any longer, and so, kept things a little shorter than he'd liked. As his lips landed on yours, he promised himself that he would eat your pussy again, one day. A strong arm props him up as one of his hands gently cups your face, mindlessly gripping your jaw as he greedily swallows down any breaths and sounds you make. Groaning into you, he pulls away. His eyes instantly find yours.

"Are you sure?" He warns, voice hoarse and husky, eyes crafted with concern. When he sees the way your eyebrow raises, his ears quickly droop as he ducks down a little. "o-okay fine, but don't say I didn't warn you, okay?" his words are soft, the end of his sentence lost in your mouth as he kisses you hard. With one last shuffle and dip of the bed, Leon's hips are pressed up against yours. His cock fits perfectly within your folds as he bucks up into you slowly. At first, he simply wants to coat himself in you. And then, it starts to feel a little too good.

He almost loses himself already, groaning loudly into your mouth as his hips rut up against you, kissing you sloppily, eyes screwed shut. Meanwhile, you're shivering. Everything about him: His sounds, his smell, his huge cock, it's all intoxicating. His cock teases at your entrance and clit at the same time, having you rocking into him. You were almost hoping it'd accidentally slide in, but part of you was more than worried about whether he'd fit.

"Okay- I'm gonna...." Leon hisses, sitting back on his haunches as he watches himself gently guide his cock towards your hole. His pupils are wide, staring on as you feel the stretch just his tip provides. About an inch or two in, Leon stops. He sees the look on your face, and promptly licks a puddle of drool into his hand before dousing it on his cock. Then, eyes back on you, he slowly slides in some more.

It doesn't hurt. His precum and drool do a good job of helping you slide open on his cock as he inches deeper. Satisfied by your lack of discomfort, Leon leans in, kissing you once more as he bottoms out inside of you. The stretch is insane. You feel so full, and yet it isn't necessarily uncomfortable. You never thought he would fit, letting your head roll back with the satisfying sensation of him deep in your guts. You feel lucky that Leon is so kind and considerate, and despite his hips rolling into you soft and slow, he hasn't properly started to move yet.

After trailing soft, loving kisses up your chest and neck towards your face, and murmuring sweet nothings about how hot you are, how cute, how much you turn him on and how good you feel, he begins to slowly move. He pulls out about half way before gently pushing back in. Eyes trained on you, he repeats his motions, hips becoming a little more confident, grinding and rolling into you with each thrust. Already, you begin to feel all fuzzy inside. As he picks up the pace, Leon gently places his hands either side of your waist, kneading and gripping the flesh there as softly as he can as he fucks into you.

Within seconds, you're lost in the heat of the moment, literally. Body tingling all over wherever his meets yours. Your room no longer silent and peaceful, now orchestrated by lewd sounds of skin-on-on skin, soft whimpers and pornographic moans. Before long, the sound of a creaking bed joins the mix as Leon loses himself further in you. Groaning loudly, he throws his head back as his hips piston into you. Still doing his best to please you, there's an element of playful roll and dance in his movements, but it's clear Leon is chasing his own forsaken pleasure as he pummels deeper and deeper into you.

Unable to help himself, he begins to whine: "Oh fuck, you're so perfect"

"You're so hot, you're so cute."

Choking out a particularly violent moan, Leon wrangles his head back down to stare at you. He's a mess, hair clinging to his forehead, ears flopping comically as he fucks you deep. His eyes are dark with desire, flickering again from your breasts to your face, prompting him to lean down to kiss you once more. It's messy and breathy, mainly consisting of Leon moaning and licking into your mouth, his tongue wrestling yours for dominance as his hands move elsewhere. Fondling your breast in one hand, the rough digits of his other land on your clit, drawing small, fine circles with an almost practiced ease.

"Ohh god you're so tight", he sobs.

You whine and quiver, bucking into him, and whilst he doesn't seem to mind, his hips only pound you harder back into the bed. Back beneath him, where you belong. Breath heavy and rugged, he sounds exhausted, but his hips never slow or threaten to stop. Whatever affected him must have given him an insane, inhuman drive, you reckon, as he continues to hammer into you with each long, drawn out thrust. Each slap of his hips sees him pulling out at least a good 5 inches before sliding right back in as if it were where he too belonged.

"Is it good?? You like it??", he whimpers, voice strained between thrusts. His throat was thick, breath echoing desire.

Eventually, you can feel it coming: release. And you can tell by the way Leon's moans grow in volume that he is too. Eyes screwed shut, his head falls back again as this time, he grips you by your thighs. He marvels at the way you dimple between his fingers, drool falling from his chin onto your abdomen as he props your legs high, over his shoulder, so he can hit so much deeper into you. Your moans and whines only egg him on, his thrusts becoming faster, deeper and more aggressive as he almost snarls, burying his face as close to your neck as possible given the position.

Leon begins to groan softly as he feels you tightening around him. You know he might cum soon, and so, you begin to toy with your clit (or don't, its fine) as you reach up to cup his burning face in yours. The second you touch his face, his snaps and growls turn into desperate, whimpering moans as he pulls back to look into your eyes. He begins to shiver, yelping into your ear, trying to warn you. The stutter of his hips tells you exactly what he wants you to know, that he's close. Your touch on his face seems to have reminded him just who he was fucking, and that really, he should have warned you.

"I-I'm gonna cum" he whines in your ear "I'm s- I'm gonna-" he chokes out between moans and sighs. He was about to tell you he was sorry. He was about to pull out. But something inside told him he shouldn't. No, something told him he couldn't. It was in this moment that Leon decided he had to cum in you. Everything was so perfect right now, his cock buried in your hot cunt. The sounds of his skin slapping yours, the sounds of his dick ploughing through your wet folds. He needed it. He needed to be with you, to feel this all the time. He had to cum inside. He had to claim you.

"G-go on Leon..." you moan softly. Leon wanted badly to do exactly as you said. Mind swiftly fleeing him, Leon feels his body go shiver and shake, hips only now losing their rhythm slightly. His vision is clouded with images of you, overlapping the only real sight of you below him. Zoning in on your sounds, your blissed out face. Addicted to your soft skin and warmth, he reaches the his limit. With a guttural moan, Leon commits to a series of short, deep thrusts, snapping his hips into yours seemingly in rhythm with his cock as it spurts thick ropes into you. He closes his eyes, collapsing onto your chest now, moaning and whimpering into your breasts as his hips continue to gyre into you.

You were fortunate that Leon, despite his braindead state, possessed the primal urge to continue fucking his load into you, because as he did so, combined with the violent kicking and throbbing of his cock, he continued to edge you closer and closer to your own orgasm as you harshly rub your clit, desperate to give in before his hips do. Glancing down, you note his blissed out expression. Happy face, red cheeks, tightly shut eyes. He looks as though he could sleep any second, drooling over your breasts as his large, flat tongue laps up the mess, licking messily at your nearest tit.

You begin to notice his thrusts becoming extremely short now, not caring to pull out at all before grinding against you. And all of the above combined with his incessant grinding on your clit brings you over the edge, joining him.. Spasming a little, you clamp down on his cock, back arching into him and shaking. Leon's ears perk up and he quickly rises to attention again, sensing your change in pulse. He begins to lick and groom you all over, softly lapping at your throat and collarbones. He tastes your skin and your sweat and nibbles at your pulse points, as, shaking, you come down from your high slowly.

"Fuck... you're so tight... squeezing me so good" he whines, eyes shutting again as if you've sapped every ounce of his energy. "I had no idea ladies... came like that" he sighs against you, nibbling your ear passionately now, slowly starting to still his hips inside you. He was right... You were so tight against him. It felt as though he was getting bigger. Maybe it was just the stretch of his cum? You try and reason with yourself.

Glancing down at Leon, you realise he, too, is confused. He groans against you, now laying above you, his tail wags hard behind him as his hips autopilot themselves deeper suddenly. You start to panic a little. What's going on? "L-leon" you whimper, feeling yourself stretch even more, eyes squinting as you realise that he probably hasn't pulled out because he can't "'s too big... what's happening?" you groan, throwing your head back. In response, Leon is silent for a while. He's gone back to nibbling at your pressure points, hands greedily kneading the flesh of your breasts before he reaches down and, to your surprise, toys with your clit again.

"Leon... what-"

Cutting you off, suddenly, Leon rolls onto his back, bringing you with him. He stares up at you tenderly as he kisses into your mouth again before replacing his tongue with two of his fingers. They rest on your tongue, pinning it down, silencing you. His actions are dominant and unexpected, but not too rough as his hips continue to lazily roll into yours. Combined with the stretch and his ministrations on your clit, you almost feel like you could cum again like this, being used to nurse his cock.

Then, he leans down to whisper in your ear "Please, babe, don't be scared. Just stay nice and pretty for me, okay? Gotta knot you and pump you full so it takes, okay?" You whine around his fingers, not in protest, but in reaction to his words, which only has him pressing his fingers down a little harder onto your tongue, threatening to slip them down your throat. "Shhhh" he soothes, his voice a little more rough and less playful "Gotta make sure I fill you with lots of pretty puppies, okay?"

Dumb, all you can do is nod. You wouldn't want it another way. You'd never wanted kids before, but something about having your entire body spent, laying on his chizelled tone as he holds you close, rubbing into you sends you reeling. Before long, Leon's ministrations on your clit and tits have you grinding against him, whimpering softly until you release once more. To your excitement, the contractions of your spent pussy have Leon's dick throbbing once more, painting more of your womb. Only some of your combined juices manage to escape past his knot. The rest serving to swell your abdomen.

With excitement, he occasionally prods at your belly,, humming in delight as he kisses and licks you all night, obsessed with you. Only a small portion of you brain is even functioning now. And it's going over the amount of times you dismissed Leon's worry about intimacy. He seemed to have this very correct hunch that something would go... wrong. Or that you might be displeased.

Was him passively forcing you to serve his cock, stuffing you full of cum and barely allowing you to make a sound wrong? You couldn't tell. All you could tell was how good it felt to be ontop of him, to have his huge cock inside you. To get knocked up with his seed.

All you could tell was how good it felt to cum for him many more times that night. How good it felt to hear his gentle words and praise about how good you felt, how hot you'd be once you take, and how much of a dirty little breeding slut you were, just for him, until you both dozed off to sleep, shrouded in eachother's warmth.

Hi guys I didn't really write about the reader's reaction and stuff because A) I found it hard and B) I can't like say how you react??? like I always find it sad when fics are like "you're so wet" "your nipples are hard" etc because like I cant relate n then I feel dysfunctional??? Anyway. Thanks for reading I hate this fic sorry it took 2k years I love you guys thanks for being here and reading this.

also WOAH THAT TOOK A TURN FOR THE HORNY GODDAMN. sorry anout that idk what happened LOL and sorry the fic is so shit n slow I hope u enjoyed it ilysm

Sorry, I gave up on like... bold and italics half way through. And this isn't proof read lol. Thanks for the support guys. Don't worry about reposting and folllowing, especially following, cuz I'm a ghost on here tbh so there's no point. Any comment,s likes etc are much appreciated. Huge ego boost i love you all

stay horny

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bryce-bucher · 5 months

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I've been feeling p sick this last week, which for some reason means that my brain really really wanted me to do nothing but focus on creating this render. I created as a means to get better at using Alias Poweranimator 9.0 because I eventually hope to use this program to make environments for games. I am really happy with the process of making this render, and I feel like I learned a whole lot! It's definitely the most detailed thing I've made in any of these old 3d programs so far, and it's given me a lot of confidence that I can pull some cool stuff off. I'm considering making some kinda video documenting some nurbs modeling techniques I learned since this kinda modeling is super dead and there is very little documentation on how they were doin it in the 90s. Lmk if that is something anyone would be interested in. (UPDATE: I did it: https://youtu.be/G8NmDeGIXZE) The only thing blocking me rn is annoying bugs that come up when running this on modern hardware, and the fact that I'm currently having issues getting it cracked on my windows xp machine. Anyway, here are some behind the scenes photos and variants of the wallpaper:

Here is what the wireframe looks like in tha program

Here is my initial sketch alongside some theory crafting sketching on how to model certain shapes. Making stuff with nurbs is super fun because everything feels like some kinda open-ended puzzle lol.

Here are a couple wallpaper variants I made with some color adjustments meant to test how they would look in printing. Modus Interactive and I figured this kinda thing is what gives a lot of 90s renders those distinct colors.

Here are some 4:3 crops for all of you out there who know what is good and true in this world.

Here are a couple high contrast ones as a treat.

Last but not least, here is just a buncha random behind the scenes screenshots:

Thank u for checkin this out I spent a lotta time on it and had a good time yippe wahoo

#retrocgi #retro cgi #retro 3d #retro aesthetic #90s cgi #poweranimator #maya #raytracing #3d art #3d artwork #3d render #diver #helmet #bubbles #underwater #ocean #vintage cgi

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voidzphere · 16 days

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☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ KILLER SANS ASK BLOG OWNED BY ME: @killersanz ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

HAIII !!! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog u gayass :3 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNERZ <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are rebzyyx, talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, all i want is you, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

#killz answerz - answerz to my askz

#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz

#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (unless i knew u beforehand)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny <3

★ last updated: 4/25/24

#killz yapz #every drawing in this was drawn by my finger #my finger is now numb #i'll update this anytime i can :]#killer sans #something new #utmv #sans au #undertale au #masterpost #artist intro #killz art #killz fingie doodlez

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 2 months

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REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

#good omens mascot #good omens #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #good omens fandom #good omens season 1 #in the beginning #WAHOO #OK GTG TAKE MY DOG DOWNSTAIRS AT 1:45 IN THE MORNING #THE CROWLEY LIFE #IT'S HARD WORK BEING THE RESIDENT DISASTER #BUT SOMEONE'S GOTTA DO IT

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skubean · 1 year

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what about luxiem with a bold person?

hi hi, anon! thank you for the idea!! i actually like this idea since it's the opposite of what i wrote bfr for vox and luca. sorry it took a while to do this, i'm a little sick rn T.T anyways, hope you liked this one <3

Luxiem with a Bold! Gender Neutral Reader

characters: luca kaneshiro, shu yamino, mysta rias, ike eveland, vox akuma

notes: gender neutral reader, i wasn't sure if i wanted to make reader be in a romantic or platonic relationship but i guess you can interpret it as you like, i used different interpretations of bold here so some might be slightly suggestive, nothing else enjoy!!

luca kaneshiro

you know how luca's always saying how he's not bullyable and tends to (playfully) bully others instead?

yea so when you counterattacked his teasing, safe to say this guy was absolutely shocked.

like, he knew you were cute and all, but he didn't expect for you to be on the same level as he is when it comes to teasing.

it's like he'd be all brave and kusogaki, and then you counter him, and the next thing he knows is he's a mess, a blushing mess.

you're pretty observant, so you notice the way he reacts, which will only entice more reaction from him.

one time you playfully touched his thigh while he was gaming, and the poor dude started stuttering so bad.

an idiot, for sure.

he's fine with pda, but for some reason, you like teasing him while touching him, so he's wary of it (like he gets really red)

overall, this man is too pure for the world. you'd feel a little bad but how else will you be able to see such a reaction from a mafia boss?

shu yamino

believe me when i say this, but shu definitely is chill as hell when you act all bold around him.

you'd say the most shocking thing, and this guy will just snicker at you.

which is why you get braver around him, just to get that reaction out of him.

if you're lucky, he'd say stuff back to you.

kind of like the type where you flirt and say stupid shit, but he says it back seriously and it just goes haywire.

if you're someone who's bold with the way you talk, i believe shu is like your #1 supporter. he doesn't seem like a man who would say much, but this guy would have your back no matter what. it's you both against the world fr fr.

i believe in bold and flirty shu agenda (real!!)

though shu won't like it if you do bold stuff around other people/in public, because he doesn't want you to get hurt.

to top it off, i believe shu is pretty cool with have a bold person around. don't piss him off though, he's feisty.

mysta rias

mysta's pretty bold, isn't he. so i expect a you + mysta combo to be double the trouble.

the unstoppable duo that just does whatever they want, says whatever's on their mind.

you both just fit right with each other (match made in heaven)

but trust me, if you reciprocate back his words, this guy goes brain dead from it.

kinda like the type that can tease you, but can't handle being teased. sort of like luca in a way, except he's more brazen.

y'all did the pokemon pass or smash thing, and this guy is just dead ass surprised from your play at it bcs what the fuck.

mysta's a sweet boy though, he still gets really shy when you say stuff.

he's gotten used to your affection, so i don't think it bothers him anymore.

but hug him for too long and this guy goes craaazy (because he's shy lmao)

anyways, mysta + you duo is deadly, physically and mentally.

ike eveland

ike is a man who's good with words, you can't fight him, nuh uh.

my lord have you seen eki? exactly.

he'd act like he's tired of your bs or like doesn't really like what you're doing, but you know this guy loves it, he's just tryna mask it.

you being bold either puts a nasty grin on his face, or the loudest sigh ever heard from mankind.

told him your darkest deepest secrets and this guy stares back at you, mouth wide opened tryna process what he just heard.

you just giggle in response.

ike lowkey likes seeing you be bold and defend yourself when people do things against your beliefs. he thinks it's endearing.

though he doesn't ever tell you, he just lets you run free, only holding you back when he deems necessary.

10/10, tsundere. acts like he doesn't like it, likes it like hell.

vox akuma

vox himself is already one hell of a bold guy T.T

some days, it's like a competition to see who's bolder. (you lose)

y'all could be platonic or dating, and this guy still says the sluttiest shit ever, and gets you a blushing mess.

he likes that your energy matches his, so it makes him really happy.

i'd say it's pretty crazy to see two people with such brazen language (ykwim).

he's a sweetheart though, kinda like the type that let's their partner say mean stuff, while they support wholeheartedly.

the first time you did a bold move and pretty much sat on him, this guy had the most shit-eating grin you've ever seen.

he held onto you, which made you panic, and then laughs seeing you get all red.

trust me, it doesn't work. he's too powerful T.T you think you're bold until you face vox akuma.

a/n: hi, sorry this one's pretty short and somewhat really ooc. i wrote this based on what i picture each member would be like! also, i'm getting a lot sicker so i'll probably not be able to write a valentine's fic today, but i'll try tomorrow since it might be valentine's in other places of the world! happy valentine's by the way everyone <3 stay safe! - eden

send requests here and read the rules here!

#luxiem x reader #nijisanji en x reader #nijisanji x reader #njsj en x reader #njsj x reader #luca kaneshiro x reader #shu yamino x reader #mysta rias x reader #ike eveland x reader #vox akuma x reader #nijisanji en #luxiem #luca kaneshiro #shu yamino #mysta rias #ike eveland #vox akuma #luxiem imagines #luxiem x you

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twilighttrekkie · 27 days

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‼️Warning: Spooky Month Spoilers Ahead!!!‼️

just watched the new spooky month episode and. wow. i'm so normal (lie) i cannot wait for the next episode aaaaaaaaaaa

ahem. anyways. the part with the priest asking where skid's father was and skid looking so crestfallen and the part with pump asking "but if they love me, then why're they never here?" had me bawling /lh waaaaa skid and pump are so sweet, they don't deserve to feel so sad 😭😭😭😭 ANYWAYS. I AM EXCEEDINGLY NORMAL ABOUT KEVIN AND I'M SO HAPPY THAT HE GETS AN ACTUAL FRIEND TO WORK WITH. Here take my Kevin and Radford screenshot collection because they're incredibly pfp-able AND THEIR EXPRESSIONS ARE SO FUN HERE.

OK CAN WE (and by we i mean me) TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT THE ANIMATION FOR A SECOND. BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!! IT STARTED OFF AS ALREADY GOOD IN THE FIRST INSTALLMENT, BUT NOW IT LOOKS COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL, INCREDIBLY FUN, AND CERTAIN SEQUENCES ARE STRAIGHT UP BREATHTAKING.

ALSO MOLOCH AND EYES COMING BACK??? LIKE HELLO?????? THERE'S SO MANY CALLBACKS IN THIS ONE, LIKE SKID AND PUMP LIGHTING THAT HAPPY FELLA ON FIRE IN THE STORE, DEXTER BEING MENTIONED, THE CULT REAPPEARING, OH AND CAN I JUST SAY THE SEQUENCE WHERE MOLOCH POSSESSED ALL THOSE DIFFERENT PEOPLE WAS SICK. THE DESIGNS WERE ALL REALLY FREAKY IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE, SHOUT OUT TO WHOEVER MADE THOSE DESIGNS!!!

admittedly i kinda wish we got to know more concretely whether streber is actually dead or not, but i completely understand putting it off to build suspense. that's literally my only criticism of the episode rn lmao and even then it's more of a personal curiosity thing than something i actually have against the episode

10/10 episode: much like every other spooky month episode i've had the pleasure of seeing as it came out instead of years afterwards, it has permanently changed my brain chemistry 🔥 guys if you're spooky month fans pleaseee go watch the episode. and if you have no idea what this show is, go check it out, it's completely free to watch on youtube!!! it starts off very shitpost-y, but quickly gets very dark (while still keeping the humor that made the first 2 entries special!! Spoky Month evolves more and more with each episode, but never loses its roots, which is something I really enjoy).

#dri's rambles #spooky month #sr pelo #spoilers #spooky month spoilers #spoiler warning #long post #very long post #spooky month skid #spooky month pump #spooky month kevin #spooky month radford #spooky month moloch #eyes of the universe #ok screw this i refuse to tag every character lmao #i love them all but i just don't have the patience for that #spooky month hollow sorrows

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barghest-land · 2 months

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i need some help :] i wanna draw some quick sketches with ideas. they could become a full art later - i'm not sure, but rn i kinda need to practice getting into things, cuz my brain isn't working (and i still need to work somehow). so i'm gonna bonk my brain before work days by doing very sketchy things. so - can u give me some random promts please? could be anything. like "bird's nest in a dead heart" or idk. a broken mirror + a pair of deers. two headed crying albino raven? yeah i'm not looking for something cute tho, won't draw OC's or fanart, i'm looking for something random but symbolic. my brain needs to wake up so i'm open to any crazy promts

#i need my brain to workkk i've been doing storyboards today and my brain isn't BRAINING #i need to THINK not draw #so i'm gonna sketch some things #it makes sense #at least i think it does #also random generators are shit!!!! i've tried. others brain is always better #so throw some words at me #please<3 #mwah #barghest barks

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knwatchesninjago · 3 months

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S1E8 Once Bitten, Twice Shy

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I LIVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Y'all!! I am SOO sorry for disappearing off the face of the world for so long!! I had a lot of tests and quizzes that came up due to semester 1 finally being over. Plus I had a lot of hw as well! So I was so busy and couldn't find the time to sit down and watch ep8. But ALAS!!! HERE IT IS!!!!

Let's get into it!! Lol!! ;3

OKAYY

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The Garma-Wu SIBLING BONDING!!!

First of all, I love how Garmadon's first question isn't "Is Lloyd okay?" Its:

What has Lloyd gotten himself into?

Pftttt, lollll!! Lloyd... you are a gremlin, even in your own father's eyes!

#SiblingBonding

^ Me (as Garm) back when I was a baby and wanted to get rid of my little bro bc he took up all of my parents and grandparents attention

I honestly love how Garm threw away his pride and helped Wu when he heard that his son was in danger!! <333

Reminds me of a certain someone, eh?

SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!

No more PJO spoilers, okay!! Sorry!! I couldn't help myself!!

Anyways, back to the sibling bonding...

This scene was actually heartbreakingly sad, ngl.

Why would Lloyd open the tombs?

To be like you.

I... never wanted him to... thank you for watching out for him

You may think of me as your enemy... but I was first... your brother

*sniff sniff* I'M NOT CRYING!! YOU ARE!!!!

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OKAY!! MAY I JUST SAY, BEFORE ANYTHING!!

COLE?!?!? WHAT!?!??! THAT LOOKS SOO GOOD?!?!? DUDE!! YOUR SKETCH LOOKS SOO GOOOD?!?!?!? IT IS CANON, Y'ALL!!! MY COLEY POLEY IS AN ARTIST!!! <333333

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#Pythor's weird face

^Ugh... dude... what kinda entrance is that!?!?!?

(due to the 30-pic limit I'm only showing three images, sry!!

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NEXT UP:

#Girlboss is not pleased

Honestly, her face in the second pic when Jay badmouths her unknowingly!! 🤣🤣🤣

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This scene had me cackle so badly!! Jay's brain is dead rn and Nya is like: "You good, bro?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Lastly, my fav moments:

#SerpentineJay

Pfttt, he's soo hilariously cute/ugly, loll!! Hey Jay! I don't blame you for trying to hide ur face from Nya. Ngl, you do not look good witha snake face, loll!!!

AND Y'ALL!!! DID YOU SEE WHAT JAY DID WHEN NYA TOLD HIM THAT SHE WAS THE SAMURAI X?!??!

Shock

2)CHECKS HER OUR OUT! 🤣🤣🤣

Pftttttttt, lollll!!!!

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#Stop Discriminating Against Snake-People

Poor Jay was casually flogged :'(

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Sadly... I am up to 30 images... so I leave you with this:

Y'all... HOW IS THIS A KIDS SHOWW!?!?!?!? (this is why I'm not so excited of showing Ninjago to my parents.... this is CrEeEePy, lol)

Anyways, byeeeee!! See y'all in ep 9!! Just a few more eps left for S1!!! <3333

#CasuallyDies

https://kittenninja14.tumblr.com/post/731916269075480576/hey-yall-i-just-found-this-incredible-video-and

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h-harleybaby · 1 year

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vampire cartman obsessed with randomly marking his gf through out the day 🤭🤭

Omg yesssss

I’m taking this as a sign to give Vamp Cartman hcs because I wanna so bad 👉👈

For the purpose of writing she’s gonna be human because why not

Btw it’s probably gonna be in a different color than normal BECAUSE TUMBLR IS BEING WEIRD AND I CAN’T SEE SHIT

NSFW CONTENT (because I suck and my brain stopped working)

Vampire!Cartman x reader

• You have marks ALL over you because your stupid vampire bf can’t keep his lips to himself. Your friends are super confused too, they keep asking why you have lil dots all over your thighs when you wear shorts. I mean they know why you have bite marks but why’s there dots?? You know why and it’s so embarrassing

• Cartman found it really cute that when he first starting biting you and stuff you would cry or your eyes would water

• IT WAS LIKE, THE CUTEST THING TO HIM! He loved it when you did that (Cough he’s into dacryphilla cough) so ofc when you ya know, stopped doing that he got kinda sad

• I mean you were getting used to the feeling, and it was hot-

• But anyways, he got kinda pissed about it and started biting you harder just to see you cry a bit. He felt kinda bad but meh, you would’ve stopped him if you didn’t like it. He gave up at some point but he did sulk for a while

• I mean Cartman eventually got over it, he can make you cry in different way anyways. And that's good enough for him

• Never letting go of this, you have to pry it out of my cold dead corpse hands. HE LICKS YOUR TEARS AND HE LIVES FOR THE CUTE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU CRY. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU LOOK UGLY HE SECRELY THINKS ITS CUTE AND HE'LL LITERALLY NEVER TELL YOU

• Now you're gonna question me on this- YOU'RE GONNA QUESTION ME AND THE PERSON WHO GAVE ME THE IDEA, BUT HE LIKES TO EAT YOU OUT ON YOUR PERIOD

• I MEAN BLOOD- AND YOU??? HELL YEAH HE'S GONNA LOVE IT

• Might be a smidge grossed out at first but then he's like "welllllllll-"

• Anyways, he loves teasing you and biting your chest and your thighs. It's like, the best thing ever for him

• Because he's a vampire I guess he's technically undead so- no babies for y'all. WHICH IS KINDA GOOD THAT MEANS HE GETS TO CUM IN YOU ALL HE WANTS AND NO RISK

• Tbh, your blood is the sweetest to him and that's kinda what attracted him to you. Pretty lady and good tasting blood?? Hell yeah

• If you get high a lot expect him too also, bro can just t a s t e the weed in your blood. Dude gets high off your blood and that's just his favorite way to now

• When he gets high off your blood he gets so impossibly horny and he's so desperate. He's willing to sub when he gets like that because just wants you so so bad

• Please for the love of god overstim him he's gonna cry under you and it's so pathetic and adorable ahhhhh

• He probably has vampire strength and man handles you on accident all the time, and YOU FUCKING LOVE IT (kicking my feet while thinking about being man handled because I have problems)

• For a vampire, he really likes biting. And when I say that I don't mean he bites you (I mean yeah but I'm not talking about that rn) he loves being bit it's so weird but he melts when you do

• He's definitely the type just bite you anywhere and everywhere if he's ya know, not gonna be killed for being a vampire

• He probably bites your shoulder all the time because he likes when it's out of nowhere and you make that cute noise you make when you get surprised

#h harleybaby needs help #south park x reader #harley’s anons <33 #south park x reader headcanons #south park x y/n #cartman x reader #eric cartman x reader #mom come get harley she’s rambling #eric cartman x y/n #harley thirsts #harley’s requests!

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panelshowsource · 6 months

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ok i finally listened and i watched taskmaster nz series 2...8 times

and i'm ready to offer my reaction & thoughts but please understand this is over 3000 words (which means it is too long to proofread) and it is so bc i do not know how to be concise but also bc i decided to a PROPER brain dump so if you like reading this kind of thing enjoy and if you don't do not click keep reading!!!

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WORD VOMIT INCOMING

i KNOW what i said. i KNOW i said i'd kinda watched s1 of taskmaster nz and it was okay and jeremy and paul were okay and guy william's outfit scarred me for life but all in all it was okay, and i can't say nz humour (which, and i stand by this, is a bit monotonous) is my fave, and i wasn't that excited about watching international taskmasters in general so i wasn't prioritising it. i know what i said!!!!!!!!!

but

i did what i was told incessantly to do and i watched taskmaster nz series 2. it's...it is. it is what everyone said it is. it's fucking hilarious. it's so good. it's one of it not the example of a perfect cast with perfect energy and synergy and banter and friendship and competition. everyone tried so hard and succeeded and failed in their own hilarious ways. the tasks are half-original, kinda-inspired (if not appropriated), simple even when they're cerebral, and very core-of-taskmaster-y. CHEF'S KISS — by tm nz standards

i watched the entire series...8 times? i have A LOT of opinions and i wasn't gonna get into all of them because i don't love to debate and am scared of being roasted lmao, but i'm being brave!!

BUCKLE UP FOR MY BRAIN

➜ imo there is no standout contestant, it's a matter of taste and they're GREAT, but all in all i think the season wouldn't have a single chance of being what it was — in its total chaos, moments of innocence, moments of genuine friendship — without david correos, who was more or less the heart of the season. it's very obvious and very cute he is friends with paul, laura, and guy irl (guy mentioned their team is actually in an improv group together he's very close to laura and presumably david), and real-life friendships bring out a series panel's comfortable dynamic much faster than if they're meeting for the first time. and on that note —

➜ as much as i enjoy non-comedians on the show, especially when they're people i really like, the cold hard truth is that the very very very best series of taskmaster are comedian-only lineups. pls do not come into my inbox rn with your recency bias and yell about s16 this is a dead serious, studied fact: series 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9 (i am excluding recent-ish series because legacy takes time to establish itself but imo 12–14 were very strong) being the epitome of tm, it's not a coincidence these lineups are more or less ALL standup comedians (richard osman gets a pass for producing cats does countdown and being, arguably, the ultimate comedy superfan). a big reason for this is that non-comedians — and they almost always admit this, in interviews or on the podcast — are very aware that they're out of their element, are the odd ones out, feel the additional responsibility of having to find their place and suss out the dynamic and be funny and fit in. sometimes they're not really that funny and it is what it is (and it's the show's job to edit them and encourage them in a way that will = entertainment; they know what they're signing up for, or the risk of them not fitting in well, when they cast these people). other times, it's not that they're not funny or capable, but that these overwhelming feelings hold them back: they don't pipe up, they don't speak when it's not their turn, they don't challenge greg or the other contestants, they don't fight, they don't tease. yes, when it's their turns to speak, they're often silly and fun, and when they do the tasks, they're often silly and fun, but they just don't hit their comedic potential — because they don't know how or they don't let themselves try. very understandable! it's very intimidating being on TASKMASTER with PROFESSIONAL FUNNY PEOPLE including GREG AND ALEX who are LEGENDS. but the best thing about comedian contestants other than their comedy is that they want spotlight and they want to be the centres of attention and they will take risks, so they (usually) make the most of their time, whether it's the recorded tasks or in the studio. THE POINT, IF I MAY BRING IT BACK, BEING TASKMASTER NZ SERIES 2 — matt heath not being a standup but being 1) an extrovert, 2) your standard entertainment industry attention seeker, and 3) very good friends with jeremy means we didn't get these obstacles from him. if anything, he was more relaxed and game than everyone else in the room at the start of episode 1 because he is already in the accepted graces of the literal taskmaster. he tried really hard, he fought hard, he teased hard, he laughed a lot. i get that being a funny guy radio dj may not seem that different to being a comedian, but it is, and he was SO good! —and every contestant who is a friend of a taskmaster is always good, that's another studied conclusion

➜ why was david naked all the time lmfaooo body positive KING his haircut is also adorable. speaking of a lack of clothes guy's shorts length was lovely for the eyes

➜ momentary disgression: i'm SO interested in the story david told on the podcast about russell howard going to one of his shows and then, like, immediately leaving as fast as possible when it was over because he cringed to death or was scandalised or something—imo it wasn't very clear just what david was implying russell said/felt and i'm really curious. if anyone has insight into this pls send it to me

➜ i don't think jeremy or paul get much better than season 1 and ultimately they're both just okay, and they will always be what holds tm nz back from reaching tm uk-levels of god-tier tm. i know a lot of people will like paul because he's attractive and he is friends with rose (and others) and from time to time he is amusing. sometimes that's all it takes, and if that's all it takes for you, that is well and nice. but...personally...i can't get over how QUIET paul is...alex isn't half as quiet as paul, very often asking questions throughout the tasks and making little passive-aggressive comments at someone's effort or even just looking at the camera...paul is so often just there doing and saying absolutely nothing, EVEN when he's involved in the task, and a healthy 60% of the time he's asked a question he does a very forced deadpan "okay" that just...like it's not funny — it doesn't hit that comedic beat — after the first hundred times. he may just not be a lightning quick improv kinda guy, and i think the inherent one-dimensionalness of his character hinders him, but idk he could offer SO much more during the tasks, especially when he already has a good irl dynamic with so many of them. there are times, during the tasks, he could just not be there. i also don't necessarily understand his character in that during the tasks he's exceptionally shy/reserved to the point of being mostly silent but then in the studio will pipe up and act "normal" in a way that seems like the real paul and not the character paul. idk. i just think...why isn't he more present and also more consistent. (and i'm gonna say something controversial here but i also watched guy mont spelling bee and paul was not very funny on that — again, quiet — and i think the truth is he might be a little boring at times. i said it. im sorry to everyone :() i think this is a common criticism of jeremy but i will agree that, while i do like him especially when he actually lets himself be silly and banter-y, it is BEYOND ME how he just flies through the prize tasks and the scoring. the prize task is practically show and tell with no comment at all from jeremy instead of a dialogue between the contestants and the taskmaster, and then half the time jeremy doesn't explain his scoring for anything. often i'm left thinking "how could someone show up with this bone-shakingly good prize and jeremy just nods and smiles and goes 'okay who's next'?" and maybe it's not jeremy, maybe it's the editors, but it drives me INSANE when that happens. greg would spend the whole hour going over the prize tasks if he could, just cuz he loves the banter and ragging on people — and the show is noticeably weaker when the banter is lost. hence my issue with, to bring it back around, banter-avoidant paul. (also sorry if it's annoying when i compare taksmaster uk and taskmaster nz, i don't mean to do it tooooo much but it's unavoidable at times, pls understand...) (also, i'm saying all of this without even commenting on the actual dynamic between the taskmaster and his assistant, but i'm not gonna touch that — despite the fact the greg/alex dynamic is the heart of tm and what every single contestant ever praises most about the show.) SO i do think the series having matt for jeremy and david (at least) for paul did help encourage them in being funnier than they may have been otherwise. (was guy williams being on series 1 why paul was..idk...like he was...on series 1? i also recently learned a lot of people don't like guy williams lmao very interesting...)

➜ it's hilarious to me that jeremy is OBSESSED with sports and greg LOATHES sports (except the darts lmfao)

➜ ngl i have always wondered why taskmaster uk didn't use their increased budget to do, like, 10% more landscaping — i get not wanting to make the place look TOO manicured but would it really kill them to just fix the cracks in the driveway? idk — but then i watch nz and do feel like it's a little too much of a set hahahah but i like the outdoors they really have a nice big yard to play in (the sewage ("legally it's not ☝️") pond is a choice tho...)

➜ i read about 100 reddit threads about te reo māori, how prevalent it is in school and culture, how many people speak it or even want to speak it, its roots, its appropriations — and the majority of new zealanders said they don't really care about it, it's not actual practical in the way chinese or german or whatever is, they don't think it should be mandatory in schools over other languages, etc. i found these reactions 1) mildly suspicious but idk how conservative the nz sub is but also 2) really surprising! BECAUSE there is WAY more te reo in the every day language of, at least, the new zealand convo i have witnessed on a few nz panel shows than i think they realise. the ones i've heard the most are a few different greeting lines to open episodes, pākehā, whanau, and kai, but there are TONS of te reo words and phrases sprinkled into everyday language and i felt like i was googling so much (even if the meanings were relatively obvious from the contexts). very interesting! off the back of that i had absolutely no idea people in new zealand said "en zed" to refer to nz in any capacity but it makes sense i just never thought about it before

➜ something i adored about the series — that we see less and less of each series from series 1 of tm uk — is editing in reactions from the panel in the studio while they're watching the task vt. it's HILARIOUS watching, say, tm uk s1 and seeing romesh smacking tim on the back, josh pointing fingers, roisin with her hands in her head, etc in real time as they're watching the tasks for the first time. editing this way also helps express the group friendship and harmony, which is so important to a successful season. tm uk NEVER does this anymore and it's one of my biggest criticisms of the show — but this series of tm nz did it so much and it was HILARIOUS watching the panel falling all over each other laughing at everything. they're so goofy

➜ the fake paul with the moustache was, in fact, a dish, whoever he is congrats on being hot

➜ very random moments i liked:

"you think she's doing great things for women in those boots? 🤨💅"

it was so underrated that guy's idea to transform a room was to turn it into a farm and he had people in animal costumes being sheep or whatever that shit was HILARIOUS

matt ziptying a brush to a helmet to look like an ancient roman cracked me up so hard "husband to a murdered child" ??? smh

when laura was trying to rope the cameramen into american pie-ing her wedding cake and paul went "don't ask them...because one of them WILL do it"

"a tongue kiss with an extra 10%? i'm not sure—" "10% extra, maybe thumb up bum" ????

matt forgetting his hometown and saying "i was born in oxford in england! i forgot… that was fucking ages ago!"

"because david eats something doesn't make it food :|"

"this reminds me of my mother's music group ...i hated every one of those bitches" like?? LMAO i NEED the story behind this comment

"one is south african, one is filipino...but they both like their balls...swiss"

"i'm fairly certain i'm not gonna crush this challenge, but i know at some point you and i are gonna box and/or wrestle, and i'm gonna crush that one"

matt being so serious that his dream animal is a horse

"i probably won’t even need the other food colouring but how good is it not to have paul in the room?"

why was jeremy so into those urinal cakes?? like okay jeremy hmm

every time jeremy and urzila flirted

when paul was convincing laura to go through with the sabotage and they agreed david probably wouldn't fuck over his team but guy definitely would lmfao

"tell me a little about yourself" "i'm paul" "...interesting. i love that about you"

it's hard to top david and guy being actually naked for the tie task but i actually think guy's farmer's tan stole the show

when guy was looking for paul in the rain and said "the irony is if paul was here we could talk about this weather, he loves that sort of shit" LMAO

urzila being the ghost of abe lincoln was actually genius and she deserved more flowers for that lateral thinking

♪im gonna gonna drown you / in your own blood♪ why is that so catchy?? "matt matt run him over like a cat" "david you shouldnt run over cats" but fr during the diss track task when matt said he was gonna eat their asses and also while they were dissing guy matt went "he's good looking though" 💀

in the secret shoelace task david said "i take solace in knowing that everyone else has go through this as well" was like a fucking mirror of the time josh widdicombe did a secret task and was like "i'm not the one who has to watch this five times" hahahaha also when they had so much time to kill paul was just reading the entire story of rumpelstiltskin please

when guy realised, during the milk/microwave task, that he should have listened to paul and like angrily laughed "i'm furious! i'm furious with everyone! this is a disaster!" you don't see that side of him often and it was so funny

➜ regardless of whether these yielded funny results (they did anyways of course), these were most of my favourite ideas for tasks:

transform this room when the lights go out

shoot a chocolate fish into the fishbowl and say the name of a different animal with each shot, most powerful animal wins

create a diss track about the members of the other team

the fucking abe lincoln one

the milk/microwave task (hilarious on both tm nz and tm uk)

also i personally want to play the celebrity name game from that one live task

➜ all in all the series had quite a few very simple tasks — build a tower of onions, squirt the sunscreen, fly, make the loudest noise — and that's something i really cherish and appreciate and feel is at the heart of what taskmaster is all about. i'd say tm nz, being in its baby era, is able to get away with having a lot more simple, straightforward tasks, which are far superior to some of the incredibly convoluted ones we see on tm uk. i see people say alllllll the timeeeeeee "it's not the tasks that matter it's how to contestants react to them + the editing" but i do not agree — plenty of tasks are duds because they are duds and not because everyone else failed to find the entertainment value in them. i would love to see tm uk work harder to bring the tasks back down in scale and convolution bc tm nz has been able to come up with quite a few that have never been done before so i know they can too

➜ something else this series does VERY well is little morsels on top of the established format: laura's sabotage, the brussell sprouts that kept floating throughout other tasks and then appear in another task!!!, paul and david's trip to christchurch, laura rounding up their girlfriends, the shoelace secret task, paul lying and fucking with the magnet, the crew "accidentally" (though i do believe it was an accident idk if we'll ever know) turning the lights off on david, even the abe lincoln task that took place outside of the taskmaster ranch — all of these things contributed to the format being more than just task/score, task/score, task/score. they felt like little cherries on top, extra content, at times extra suspense. felt like every episode had something a little extra funny in this way. very impressed by this stuff!

➜ task complaints:

alex has talked before about one of the central concerns of post-production being the ordering of the tasks and particularly choosing the very first task they show, which sets the stage for the panel. i actually feel like this series didn't do a good job in choosing their very first task, which surprises me bc that seems like an easy thing to get right with this series' group + task lineup. not a big deal but something to consider!

in the live task when they had to choose a weapon and half something (which i LOVE the idea of), it bothered me that they didn't measure by percentage and instead by actual kilo

is it just me or does tm nz feel like it sends a LOT of balloons into the air? have they ever specifically confirmed they retrieve all of the balloons they let go? ngl the amount of balloons they send off + the amount of food waste can sometimes be distracting

the piggy bank live task was totally fucked like the length of time it look paul to get the pictures of the piggies to jeremy was ridiculous and heavily disadvantaged everyone — and they didn't even show us all the piggie drawings????? HELLO I WANNA SEE THE PIGGIES??

jeremy giving guy's new zealand pillow 3 points was the worst scoring decision of the series

frankly it was GROSS when david sucked all of the room temperature tomato juice cans. but one thing i've noticed is — it may be a me problem? maybe an american problem bc we don't eat beans the way brits do? do nzers eat beans on toast? anyways — when it comes to people licking/eating cold/room temp canned goods. because i can name 10 different times i've seen contestants lick baked bean juice or spaghetti hoop sauce off their fingers and i just cannot imagine eating those things in any amount not heated up. cold bean juice? BLEGH

okay i'll wrap this up now because i wrote an incoherent outline of a thesis on this series but it was FUN as HECK and i'm so happy that funny people get to enjoy the legacy of a fan favourite series (on the tm podcast, guy seemed to take a lot of pride in this when ed mentioned it<3) and i like them all and i wish they would come back and do another 10 episodes. paul if ur reading this make it happen

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yourfriendlyshapeshiftermonsters · 9 months

Text

✨Introduction post✨

🌟Facts about me🌟

(Please read this post before you add me into your mutual list)

♪ The name's Charols! I'm an agender pep with zhe/them pronounce

♪ Love drawing and writing! My tags are #charols art gallery and #charols writing ideas

♪ Dm & art/writing requests are open! Any kind of request are accepted here so go ahead and just ask! I'm open to everyone really! <3 (except humans i suck at thoseee aughhhh

♪ fandom I'm in rn :

object show

bfdi

inanimate insanity

Furry

Rainworld

Fandom I'm not active in,but still love them! :

Pikmin

Cult of the lamb

Undertale/Deltarune

Cookie run

Omega mart

Patapon

Dicey dungeon

Hollowknight (still waiting for that sequel 😔)

♪ like to draw:

Hybrid objects

Cute beings

Scary/edgy sketch

♪ love all of my mutuals equally! Tho hates being popular. Too overwhelming for me. So please don't tag me in your post if you can ^^;

♪ Please reminds me if i had gone overboard with my talks,i am not the greatest at socialism.

✨Some Unnecessary✨

✨ Facts About Me ✨

♪ Probably have adhd or smth like that

♪ Weirdcore/Dreamcore lover ❤

♪ Arospec

♪ I'm an artist. But a super slow one. L i t e r a l l y. And my art style are nonexistent! I can make some cartoonist drawing yesterday and i can absolutely draw realistically looking stuff tomorrow depending on my moods!

♪ Dm are always open! you can be my mutual too if you wanna,i absolutely love to talks to others people! But my deepest apologize if i make things akward, i'm not the greatest at talking with others. I would either be talking to you with a small talk like hi & wassup. or i would send you random shit that i love. hoping it make your days better too. or just have a long conversation on a topic i love such as my fandom or just a random brain storming.

♪ I amm SUPER. Easily distracted and overwhelmed by everything.. So I'm sorry if i ignore you a lil while. Definitely Would be dead for a few days and then goes back to absolutely bombarded you with notification sometimes.

♪ I'm working on an object show comic i would call Major Chaos. So i hope you're ready because it would take 2763 years for me to develop on it lol

♪ If you think any of those as annoying to you. Please just tell me to stop aight? I'm the worst at reading people feelings

(WIP!!!)

MASTER POST

Major Chaos

A comic I'm working on about a teenager finding himself in a new entire place with no recollection of what happened to her. Trying to learn,adapt and survive this new cruel world and try her best to help the one who needs too

Charols

Halloween costume

'Damn'

Lucy

Drake

Lilith

Random characters

Big Brother

Scrambled Destiny

An II swap au with the twist was me putting them all into a randomizer into other character and see how i can piece them all together and how different things would be while also trying to stay like the original.. Sorry it's kinda difficult to explain it

More explanation

Clover

Taco

Candle

Random oc

Robo-book