I am a firm believer in Jean Moreau with sun freckles and pretty eyelashes and perpetually sad eyes; this man means everything to me.

** Potential TSC spoilers below **

Every single chapter in that book made me want to claw my heart out. Thank you, Nora, it was beautiful and I will never recover.

Jean Moreau deserves beautiful things like sunlight and soft touches and breaths that don't hurt and sunburn he hasn't had since Marseille and learning how to cook for himself with Cat and waking up to Jeremy's dumb cardboard dog and skin free of fresh bruises and cool evening breezes and rainbows and friends and

Aurgh

The Sunshine Court is gonna haunt me in all of the best and most painful ways

How do R.F. Kuang's books always make me feel like my heart is being pulled out through my mouth?

when nezha was opening up about his childhood trauma & survivor guilt and how he literally watched his brother get eaten by a giant dragon: nezha

rin

"help me." "let me."

Telling people about aftg is the bane of my existence — not because they're bad, because how the fuck do you succinctly explain the nuance of this story; one that centers characters who aren't good people (and aren't meant to be).

Every characters moral code is fucked. Every last one of them are ready to fight at the drop of a hat. They're criminals and murders and assholes and abusers and victims — and that's what makes the story so good. I don't read these books to mirror myself after the characters. I read these books because they're an exercise in critical thinking. In the age of cancel culture, these books feel like an important reminder that the world isn't black and white, and just because your lines aren't someone else's doesn't mean they're wrong and you're right.

So many stories about the underdog follow that archetype that they're perfect and good to the core. Aftg flips this standard (and so many others) on its head and presents a story that I find more interesting: the underdogs win, but they do it by themselves and through unconventional and morally grey means.

normal fox activities

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “the dream thieves” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd💯

me: yeah whatever. i don't feel shit

5 minutes later: dude i think that white mitsubishi is trying to fuck me

my narrative foil doing a line of coke off my back: taking things out of your dreams is like stealing a tv from walmart

For the last time Neil is not oblivious he's just so busy playing 5d chess with everyone he meets that the concept of regular chess baffles and bores him. Matt what do you mean I should hook up with a cheerleader can't you see I'm busy waging psychological warfare on a Frenchman.

MWAH 🫀🫀🫀

🫀💫

I LOVE YOU.

The thing about Aaron being a recovering addict while also trying to become a doctor is that eventually he's going to have to confront his past. Eventually, he's going to have to face himself.

Imagine him as medical intern, tending to a record high of overdosed addicts flooding the ER during the second wave of the opioid epidemic in the 2010's. How would he feel, seeing where his life could have ended, over and over again, were it not for Andrew's twisted idea of an intervention?

Imagine him later, as a resident, working long shifts and barely sleeping, constantly surrounded by the temptation of the very same pills he would have shoved down his throat in seconds at fifteen years old. Imagine with each pain pill prescription he writes, he is back on that bathroom floor, sweating out sickness and hatred as he begs to be let out, the cold tile like ice against his cheek.

Imagine his past addiction being a greater stain on his record as an attending surgeon than the fact that he's killed someone. People still sometimes die in his OR - it's the nature of the beast, of trying to save lives - but Aaron can never swallow another pill.

A.J.M 🖤 🔪

kevin day is like. he's a child star. he's experienced an incomprehensible amount of labor abuse and inhumane working conditions. he was taken from his home country by a close relative with bad intentions. he's a cult baby. he grew up in captivity underground. every bad thing that could happen to a human being has happened to him at some point. he is happier than most of us when he can kick a ball for a living.

Nicky thinks the twins don’t love him, but then they both get ejected from a game for beating the shit out of a guy who illegally hits Nicky hard enough Nicky breaks his wrist.

Nicky thinks the twins don’t love him, but when Eric visits during Christmas, they lock him outside until Nicky stops crying because they fought.

Nicky thinks the twins don’t love him, but when it comes time for Nicky’s wedding, they look at him like he’s stupid because, of course, they are the ones who will walk him down the aisle. Once they are at the end, Aaron shoves Andrew out of the way so he can stand in the best man's spot. Andrew is just about to slam Aaron into the ground before Wymack loudly clears his throat from his spot in the front row (where the parents would usually sit), and they both straighten up. Andrew still kicks Aaron in the shin, and Nicky turns purple, trying not to laugh.

Nicky worries the twins might forget about him, but every week, they hold a group video chat to catch up, and once, when Nicky’s just had an awful day and can’t seem to keep it together, they don’t immediately hang up because he’s started crying.

Nicky worries the twins don’t care about him, but when he and Eric get in a minor car accident that lands Nicky in the hospital for a few days, they fly to him and camp out in his room until he’s cleared to go home.

Nicky worries the twins don’t love him, but Andrew sends him pictures of Neil and the cats, and Aaron sends him photos of the twins and Katelyn.

Nicky doesn’t think the twins love him, but he gets to stand next to Andrew at Aaron’s back when he gets married, and he is put in charge of organizing the not party for Andrew and Neil’s not wedding.

Nicky knows that the twins love him when they stop acting like they hate him and start treating him like they love him.

I get so confused when I see people wanting to sanitize aftg — the story and the characters. People ‘blame’ the early 2000s setting as if the problematic nature of the beast isn’t the point of the series.

These young adults — these kids — have said and done shitty things, been shitty people, and developed shitty coping mechanism in the name of survival. It doesn’t make their actions correct or moral, but it also doesn’t mean they don’t deserve another chance. It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to live, laugh, love and all of the above.

When Renee tells Neil she’s a bad person trying real hard to be a good person, it can be applied to all of the Foxes. Even if they won’t say it.

They’re all trying to be more than what they were or what they were destined to be. To do something positive with the opportunity Coach Wymack gave them. They wouldn’t have signed the contract otherwise.

And that’s not a simple thing. It’s never going to be black and white. It’s always going to be subjective. Healing looks different on each person, and it isn’t always pretty just like it’s not always linear.

The point of aftg is that the Foxes aren’t perfect — they’re the people society wants to throw away and forget about, the ones that get dismissed because of their past and present — but they’re still deserving of love and life and that second, third, fourth chance Wymack gave them. They deserve the opportunity to learn and grow.

Erasing their problematic behavior would negate the entire message of the series.

Lovely isn't he.

I finished the third book. It's been a few days already but with work and stuff... Anyway now I'm digging through the additional content Nora posted on Tumblr, took me a while to understand how it works but now I am pleased.

I cannot express the emotionnal damage these books have done to me, but I'm not finished drawing any of the foxes. Just saying.

Andrew and Neil don't have many pictures in their home, not because they don't have them or want them, but because it doesn't go with the aesthetic, and Andrew is picky. There are pictures, though. Frames spread strategically around the house full of foxes and family. There are old college photos, that first photo of Neil and Andrew in the airport, the baby foxes, pictures of every pro foxes' first games, and any championship wins. But Andrew's favorite picture, and the only picture in the whole house that doesn't match any of the others, is a bright yellow picture frame with a little Fox sitting in the bottom right corner, a tiny bee sat on its nose. The picture inside is still one Andrew can't quite look at for more than a few seconds without breaking. He's in his cap and gown, and standing in front of him is Bee, his tassels gripped tightly in her hands, the smile on her face wide and proud. She'd given it to him right before he boarded a plane to Denver early the following day and hugged him tight. Andrew took it everywhere with him, always wrapped securely and in the bottom of every bag until he and Neil finally found their forever home. Now, it is in the center of their mantle, clashing with everything else and proudly displayed always.

Andrew doesn't care about exy.

And Neil doesn't care about Andrew.

Hehe

Posted this a few days ago on Instagram but forgot to put it here-

I'm still reading the third book, I'm now post Lola's encounter so in the next one I do Neil will have all his scars :)

I LOVE how the relationship between them is evolving, it's absolutely fitting - like within their fucked-upness they're so caring... In a way where it just seem like they're the only ones who could handle each other the way they do. I love it.