#I'm just trying to articulate how I feel about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

all-purpose-dish-soap · 2 days

Text

29 / 2.1k / soap soulmate au, part 6

...

Ghost looks up as Soap storms out of the weapons closet.

"Still herself, I take it?" Ghost asks.

"She's a stubborn pain in the ass is what she is."

As expected. Soap misses the dry amusement that crinkles the corners of Ghost's eyes very slightly. "Didn't talk, then," Ghost says.

Soap scowls. "Not a goddamn word we can use. She won't listen to reason. Thinks she can face down an army. Dense, irritating--"

"Strong-willed," Ghost says.

"To a damn fault. Canny see what I'm trying to do for her. I'm-- she's--" Soap can hardly articulate his frustration. He's got this sick feeling in his stomach like he's been kicked in the gut hard enough to make him hurl.

It's not just you being too stubborn to give up the intel. What happens when you’re freed? You’re not going to stick around. What if Graves snaps his fingers and you go right on back to him?

Soap lets out a rough sigh. "There's more than Graves keeping her from talking. I don't like it."

"You've got a plan?" Ghost guesses.

Soap nods. "Aye. I need to talk to Laswell--"

"Done." Ghost produces a beige folder and drops it into Soap's hands. "Had her look into it for you."

"I'll be damned." Soap flips through the pages in the folder. "Christ. Bloody thin file." He fans the pages inside like a flipbook as if checking for extra pages. "Where's the rest of it?"

"Not much there to dig up."

"Then she's gotta be missin' some--" Something catches Soap's eye as he skims through, and he pauses, lingering on a photo.

Hell's fuckin' bells.

"Think that'll help?" Ghost asks.

"I'd wager so."

"Good. You goin' back in?"

"Aye.” Soap folds the file into his jacket and gives Ghost a good-natured fist bump to the arm. Then he brushes past him, knocking into his shoulder.

Ghost grabs Soap’s arm again before he slips past. "We don't have much time. Price wants to move on Alejandro. Says if you can't get the intel, we go in blind. Rodolfo leads."

Soap sets his jaw. "How long?"

"Three hours. Tops." He claps a firm hand on Soap's shoulder and turns to leave. "Get some sleep."

…

A moment later, the metal grate door slides open. You straighten back up and steel yourself again.

There's something different about the way Soap carries himself this time. He's not wound as tightly. But the way his eyes settle on you is... odd. The shift in his expression puts you on edge.

He sits down across from you. "We've not got much time. If talking gets us nowhere, we'll try something else."

You lean back, mirroring his posture. "You gonna torture me?”

“That what you’re expecting?”

“Maybe. You ever tortured someone before?"

"Aye. Can't say I care for it, but I know how if that's what this takes." He examines you again with that sharp gaze. You don't feel like he's undressing you with his eyes anymore. It's more like he's searching for something. "Why ask? You want me to put my hands on ya?"

You ignore the mental image that imprints. "I want you to waste your time."

Soap smirks. "What I wouldn't give to let you waste my time. You, me, all this animosity between us... I've got a few negotiation techniques I'd very much like to try." He leans back into the chair, his hands folded in his lap with an easy grin. "But you're no' the type to break under pressure."

"Better men than you have tried."

"Tried torturing you?" His grin tightens just slightly. "Anyone I know? Names, locations?"

Your cheeks heat up again. At that, for some reason. "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can."

He produces the thin file and tosses it onto the table between you.

You look down at the papers that slide out. They're grainy and covered in redactions as if printed and bound, pulled from the deep end of some filing cabinet, scanned, rescanned, and printed again. But you glimpse your name. Your real name--the one printed on Johnny's skin, too. Your chest twists and your stomach sinks.

Soap sees the change in you and leans forward, elbows wide. He opens the file and pushes it across the table. "I'll do anything to protect you, darlin'," he says. "But I need information."

The file is everything you don't want anyone to know. But what catches your eye is that photograph. "Who else has seen this?"

"Me and Laswell. Maybe Ghost if he was feelin' nosy. Does Graves know?"

You pull on your cuffs, wanting to reach for the pages and push them away. "Captain Graves said he'd make this disappear."

Soap leans back, broad palm sliding out to touch the edge of the pages, and his expression softens for a moment. "Some things you can’t make disappear."

You look at him, twisted up with pain and anger. "So, what, if I don't talk, you're threatening to expose all this? Is that it? It won't work," you add with false confidence. "Captain Graves knows everything."

"What I want to know," Soap says, voice quiet, "is what he did with it."

"What?"

Soap leans forward again. "Did he threaten you? Did he say he’d make this go away if you worked for him, hold it over your head?"

"No!” you snap. “After this happened, I couldn't-- I was discharged from the military. I couldn't find work. He reached out to me. Said he didn’t mind if I had… history. Then he offered to have it scrubbed if I wanted.” You stare down at the papers. “He never threatened me. He helped me."

Soap lets out a breath. He was prepared to deal with something a lot worse than that. Maybe he hoped for something worse. If Graves were blackmailing you, the solution would be easy. He'd give you protection, offer to have Laswell erase that file from existence instead, CIA-style. After all, if Graves got his claws into you and onto his payroll that way, why couldn't he? Probably got you dirt fucking cheap, too. Bastard.

Part of Soap wants to press that angle. He could tell you Graves never intended to deliver on his side of the deal. But the truth is that Graves would've had little control over this. Seeing the state of the file, Graves likely did what he could to have it redacted, sealed, destroyed--but someone over his head intervened. Shepherd, maybe. There'd be nothing Graves could do.

Soap wants you more than anything, but the pain in your eyes when you look at these documents tears him up inside. He can’t manipulate you that way. Even if he got you to himself in the end, he'd never forgive himself.

"That's... that's good. He protected you." Soap crosses his arms, squeezing his fist hard around the object inside, the one he pickpocketed off Ghost a few minutes ago. Much as he hates Graves, the man kept you safe. But that's his job now.

"I don't care who you tell," you snap, suddenly full of anger and spitting fire. The sight of those pages puts you on edge. You feel like a cornered animal. "I'm not telling you a goddamn thing. Do whatever you want to me. You're no better than--"

"Am no' blackmailin' ya." Soap's expression sours. So much venom in that mouth of yours. He runs his thumb over his tightened knuckles to suppress his own temper. He's amazed at how easy it is for you to get under his skin, how you push all these buttons when he's the one who's supposed to be pulling the strings.

But he realizes how this must seem. You act tough, but you're vulnerable, exposed, and he has every reason right now to drive the knife in and twist it hard. Maybe he should. Going into the Las Almas base blind means danger for his squadmates.

Christ, he’s tired. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Darlin’, I... I know now you've done things you're not proud of. But that doesn't change anything. Not to me, not to Ghost-- hell, none of us would bat an eye. You don’t need to protect yourself anymore. I need you to talk to me. We're out of time."

He thinks this is about you protecting yourself? You shake your head. "If you’re storming the Las Almas base, you're going up against Shadows. You're asking me to help you kill my own."

"If that matters to you, then tell me how to get to Alejandro without alerting the guards. Nobody has to get hurt."

You scoff, looking away. "There's no way to do that and you know it."

"We don't have to shoot them if they stand down first."

"That's not going to happen. They'll shoot you on sight. It'll be a bloodbath."

"Not for us."

You close your eyes. "I know. That's what I'm worried about."

Soap lets out a frustrated breath. "We're going in whether you talk or not. The blood's on our hands. Not yours."

You keep your gaze angled away, clearly not believing that. "I don't see why you care about security. I don't see why you need intel at all. This is what you're good at, right? This is what 141 does. You break in doors, you kill people."

Soap grips the edge of the table. "The only thing gettin' you out of here is information. I don't care what it is or if it's useful. Price wants intel."

"I don't have it." Your voice is flat and cold. Whatever you can do to make him understand you're not worth the effort.

He leans in and grabs your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. "Then lie to me."

"What?" You stare at him, feeling pinned under that intense gaze. "Are you fucking insane?"

"Might be," A small, sly, half-smile curves his lips. "I'm also desperate, runnin' out of time, and at the end of my rope after starin' at you this long, knowin' I can't have you." He runs his thumb along your cheek. "Maybe I'm bankin' on you losin' your mind before I do."

You swallow. "You'll be waiting awhile."

He smirks. His thumb moves from your cheek to your chin, fingers trailing down the side of your neck. "Do you think you're a good liar?"

Before you can answer, someone bangs on the metal door, rattling it. Price's voice echoes in from outside.

"Get some sleep, Soap," he calls. "We're briefing soon. Give it a rest. We’ll press her for more intel after we’ve got Alejandro back.”

Soap tenses at the sound of Price's voice. "Wasn't planning on sleepin'," he calls back.

"Wasn't a question," Price calls back. You hear him walk away.

Soap withdraws his hand, letting out a soft curse.

"Why would you give your own Captain false information?" you hiss. "You could lose your job. You could get court-martialed. Even if it worked, what if Shepherd finds out? He's still in your chain of command."

"Guess that's a risk I gotta take."

"Then what if I tell you something that gets your teammates hurt, huh?"

"Won't happen. I'll be in the front when things get risky."

"Then how do you expect me to-- if it means you're the one who's--" You huff, words failing you. "You're so goddamn thick."

"Am I? Because here I am, tryin' to make plans and get a read on you, and all you wanna do is piss me off and run your mouth. I'm learnin' a lot." He tilts his head. "In fact, it's startin' to sound like you're worried about me."

"Absolutely not."

"Could always tell me the truth. Extra insurance if you do. Maybe it’ll keep me alive."

"You don't need it," you snap.

"I think I do." He leans in, crossing his legs and folding his arms. "Got a bad feeling about this one. No Shadow worth their salt wouldn’t send us straight to hell if it meant finishing the job. Especially Graves."

You feel another pang of dread in your gut. He's right.

He watches you for another long moment. Neither of you speak.

Finally, he stands, sighing deeply as he goes to the door. "Alright."

"Are you coming back?" The words spill out of your mouth before you can stop them.

He pauses in the doorway. Then he turns back, staring at you like there's something he wants to say. He looks down at the stolen object still clutched in his hand--the key to your cuffs.

He opens the door, slipping through without another word.

...

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / [part 6] / part 7 / part 8

more Soap / masterlist tag

360 notes · View notes

vettelsvee · 2 days

Text

PREGNANCY JOURNEY | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | instagram

rbr sebastian vettel x schumacher!reader | part 1 here

summary: a little bit of your pregnancy journey with seb

word count: 2809

warnings: none of it! just seb and reader being cute (at least that's what i think sjsj). settled on 2012 season

a/n: I love dad!seb bye, pls send me requests bc he's literally the seb i love to write the most about

you can send your one shots requests here! feedback, as well as comments and reblogs, are truly appreciated!

Yours and Seb's families

It had only been two weeks since Sebastian and you had discovered you were going to be parents in that room in Hungary, and you wanted to start sharing the news with your family.

After much deliberation on how you could do it in such a special way, you decided to organize an intimate dinner at the house they shared in Switzerland.

As you enjoyed the delicious dishes you prepared yourself with the useless help of your boyfriend, nerves filled you both as you prepared to share the news at the end of the dinner. So, when desserts arrived at the table and you enjoyed them while chatting animatedly about trivial matters, Vettel gently took your hand under the table. With a glance, you knew it was time to tell your parents what you had been hiding.

You took your glass of wine, from which you hadn't been drinking, and stood up, causing the attentive gazes of the three present to focus on what you were about to say:

"Mom, Dad. Heike, Norbert," you began. "Today you're not here just because I'm showing off my ridiculous cooking skills, but for a more special reason."

Confusion arose among the older couples, who exchanged confused looks with each other.

You began to get emotional, finding it impossible to articulate your words. Therefore, Seb took over for you, continuing with the improvised speech:

"I know it might not be the right time," the younger German expressed, taking your hand, "but you're going to be grandparents."

"Wait… What do you mean, Sebastian?" your mum asked curiously, doubting what her son-in-law just told them.

"That's right, son," Norbert agreed with your mum. "What are you trying to tell us?"

"We're going to be parents," you whispered, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I'm pregnant."

As soon as your mum heard from your own mouth that you were expecting a child, she rushed to hug you tightly, immediately joined by Vettel's mother, causing all three women to have teary eyes. Norbert immediately ran to hug his son, shouting in excitement as he did so, and your dad, on the other hand, was in shock, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Wait a moment, Y/N," Michael commented, rising and positioning himself next to his son-in-law. "Are you saying that you've been accompanying Seb all season while pregnant, and on top of that, you've kept it from me?"

You started laughing at your dad’s comment. Sebastian, on the other hand, began to feel fear for the first time in his life towards the man who initially became his idol and, over time, not only his friend and mentor, but also his father-in-law.

"Dad, no!" you denied. "I haven't been pregnant all this time. I'm currently about three weeks along, and we found out as soon as we arrived in Hungary because I was nauseous and dizzy the whole trip," you explained.

"I'm sorry if this caught you off guard," your boyfriend apologized, especially to Michael. "It’s not like we haven't been hiding the pregnancy," the young man declared, "but we needed time to process it and make sure it wasn't a false alarm."

Schumacher sighed in relief and wrapped his arm around his wife. Heike hugged her husband, who still couldn't believe he was going to be a grandfather for the first time.

"Yeah, okay…" your dad finally replied. "I'm glad to know that my eldest daughter hasn't been taking unnecessary risks and that, furthermore, you've been celebrating Seb's victories properly."

The mention of this made Sebastian wish he could disappear at that moment just like you.

"Michael, don't say that to them!" your mum exclaimed, hitting her husband's arm. "I still can't believe we're going to be grandparents. It's wonderful! Congratulations, guys!"

Once you exchanged hugs and congratulations, the quartet returned to the table to finish enjoying dinner. The truth was that your parents were concerned about your condition, but for different reasons: on one hand, Michael knew how stressful Formula 1 could be day in and day out, and he didn't want his eldest daughter to suffer accompanying Sebastian, so he would have to have a serious talk with you. Corinna, on the other hand, knew they still had to break the news to Gina and Mick, who would be aunt and uncle in about nine months. As for the Vettels, there was nothing to comment on or exceed: in a few months, the family would grow even more, and the excitement of having the little one in their arms was overwhelming them at that moment.

The former decided to stay silent for the moment, pondering when he could have a chance to talk to you alone. Corinna, however, decided to ask you about what how would you break the news to your siblings:

"Y/N, dear," she immediately captured your attention despite being deeply engrossed in a conversation with your father about Seb's performance that season. "Don’t you want to share the news with your siblings? I think they would like to know that you're pregnant, they would be quite happy..."

"Yes, of course..."

"For now, we would like to enjoy this stage of the pregnancy privately," Vettel interrupted you, "although that doesn't mean we won't tell them. For heaven's sake, Corinna, my siblings don't know anything yet either!"

The woman glanced at her husband, who shot her a look to calm down. Indeed, both families continued to celebrate the new life Seb and you had created and, in due time, would reveal to the rest of their loved ones and possibly the whole world.

Mick and Gina

You couldn't keep the secret any longer. It had only been a couple of days since your parents and in-laws found out you were going to be parents. The same went for Seb's siblings, whom you finally called on the phone because they couldn't come to Switzerland at the moment.

Now it was time for Gina and Mick to find out they were going to be aunt and uncle at fifteen and thirteen years old.

Summer vacation was coming to an end for both teenagers and the eldest Schumacher. The kids had to go back to school, while you would be traveling the world again with you father and you boyfriend in early September.

For that reason, and because you were really excited to see her siblings' reaction, you decided to tell them that afternoon they would go to the mall.

"Guys," you said as you ate your bowl of cereal, "we're going to the mall today. I want us to spend some time together and, well..." you dropped a hint, trying to be mysterious. "I have some news to share, actually."

Gina's eyes widened in surprise. Mick kept his gaze fixed on his buttered toast with jam, pretending not to hear although he was actually really excited.

"Of course, Y/N!" Gina exclaimed excitedly. "I can't wait to buy some new clothes, especially to hear what you have to tell us."

"Exactly that," replied the youngest brother, mouth full. "You're acting very suspiciously, as if you've killed someone. Have you killed someone?"

Gina flicked Mick on the head, who immediately protested, sparking an argument. You simply cleared away your breakfast dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, leaving the kitchen seconds later, not believing that those arguing over a trivial matter would later discover they were going to be uncles.

Once at the mall, the three of you strolled through the aisles, looking for stores of interest and, especially, trying to blend in with the crowd, surprisingly succeeding.

The truth was that days earlier, you and Sebastian had agreed that to break the news to the kids, they would invite them to dinner at their favorite restaurant. However, to avoid raising suspicion, you would say that Seb couldn't make it because he had scheduled a meeting with Red Bull to discuss a few strategy matters. This way, you thought, the kids would be even more surprised.

As the afternoon wore on, your nerves, along with bags of clothes for the kids, and a few indulgences for themselves, grew.

"Y/N, is Seb coming with us?" Mick asked, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Oh, no, I forgot to tell you! Seb mentioned he had a Skype call or something with Horner and Red Bull about strategy, so he can't make it."

You hated lying to your siblings, especially about Vettel-related matters, particularly to the youngest. They had a very good relationship and sometimes seemed more like siblings than the three Schumacher kids together.

"I know you were excited to see him," you continued explaining, "but I'm sure in a couple of days, or even tomorrow, I can tell him to come over."

"Exactly, Mick," Gina chimed in, "let's enjoy an afternoon with siblings, there will be plenty of time for you to see your brother-in-law!"

After a while of strolling, you finally decided to take your siblings to the restaurant they held in such high regard. As soon as you entered, you spotted the Red Bull driver sitting at a table checking emails on his phone.

Sebastian looked up and found a preteen Mick Schumacher running towards him, receiving a hug the moment he reached him.

"What are you doing here, Seb?!" Mick exclaimed, drawing everyone's attention. "We thought you had a meeting with your team!"

Sebastian tousled the boy's hair and stood up to greet both Gina and you, who were giving him knowing glances at what was about to unfold.

"I guess these past few months I've become quite the expert in lies," you said. "And you're not here for just any reason."

Mick and Gina exchanged glances, not fully believing what their older sister was telling them.

"Indeed," Vettel continued, "before we order anything, we'd like to tell you that, around March next year, we'll be adding one more member to the family."

"You're going to be aunt and uncle, guys."

Both of them stood there speechless, trying to process what they had just heard.

"Is this for real, sister?!" Mick whispered cautiously, aware that you were public figures and attention would be on them at that moment. "We're going to have a nephew, Gina!" he turned to his younger sister, who was still in disbelief.

"This is incredible, guys!" Gina exclaimed. "I can't wait for March next year now... And I thought the best thing that could happen to me was going to see One Direction that month!"

You and Sebastian exchanged a knowing glance, realizing that the joy the younger ones were feeling at that moment was even greater than they had initially expected.

"We're so happy that you're part of this beautiful journey ahead," Seb explained, giving them both a hug. "I'm sure, and I know your sister and your parents are too, that you're going to be amazing aunt and uncle. The baby is so lucky to have a family like yours."

You wiped away tears. You hated getting emotional over the slightest thing, but at the same time, you were grateful to be surrounded by so much positivity and support from the early stages of her pregnancy.

"That's for sure, Seb," Mick replied jokingly. "But you have to understand that I'm going to be the funny uncle, and most importantly, his favorite."

The dinner continued with laughter, anecdotes from the teenagers that Seb and you had missed because of the Grand Prix races and, especially, future plans they would make when little Vettel-Schumacher decided to make his way into the world.

Mark Webber

After a month-long break, 2012 Formula 1 season was finally back in Belgium.

You, despite being about three, almost four, months pregnant, decided to continue accompanying you boyfriend for the remaining nine races.

Friday, before free practice sessions began, you were in Seb’s room at the Red Bull Racing hospitality. The German held an instant camera in his hands intending to take a few pictures of you, something that had become routine to document your pregnancy. You, reclined on the sofa in the space, simply caressed your increasingly prominent belly.

The flash of the camera snapped you out of your trance, immediately feeling embarrassed.

"Seb, I've told you a thousand times I don't like you taking pictures of me when I'm not ready," you commented, feeling somewhat uneasy.

Sebastian couldn't care less.

"You're perfect, Y/N Schumacher," Sebastian replied, taking another snapshot of you. "Come on, stand up for a moment and pose with our son for your future husband. You don't have to worry about looking good or not, you're doing enough work creating a life in your belly."

You agreed to your boyfriend's proposal, excited enough to hug your belly and shed a few tears.

Hormones were acting like crazy on you, and Sebastian Vettel might too if he kept being so good to you.

The blonde raised his camera again and once more took a picture of the scene in front of him, highlighting your smile above all.

As the photo was revealed and Sebastian, sitting on the floor, was admiring it, the door to the room opened, revealing a somewhat angry and surprised Mark Webber.

"Well, well…" the man exclaimed. "What do we have here?"

Sebastian and you exchanged looks, a mix of excitement and nervousness. No one beyond your families knew you were expecting a baby, and with the way the Australian was acting, you knew that would soon change.

"What you have here is the future best mother in the world, Webber," Sebastian explained, gesturing from top to bottom at you and then touching your belly once he stood up.

"That's incredible, guys! I'm really happy for you!" Mark approached you and hugged you, genuinely pleased with the news you had just revealed and especially by the trust you had in him to do so.

"Well, it seems Horner will be pleased when you tell him the news," Seb's teammate continued, "because I'm sure he'll want to sign the little one as soon as he's old enough."

"Of course, Mark," Sebastian replied. "Not every day you create offspring with both Schumacher and Vettel blood."

"The royalty of Formula 1, if I may say," Michael Schumacher interjected, entering the Red Bull garage despite not being part of the team. "And now, if you don't mind, I'd like to see how my daughter and my grandchild are doing."

You asnwered with a small ironic laugh at her father's remark, who was mistaken at that moment to think that Charlotte Vettel-Schumacher would be a boy.

Kimi Räikkönen

The penultimate race of the 2012 season finally arrived, and you and Sebastian had finally revealed to the world that you were going to be parents. Although there were mixed reactions and comments, the majority of people who discovered that the eldest daughter of Michael Schumacher and the two-time world champion were going to have a child were quite pleased.

Both of you were in the paddock, arriving a bit later than usual.

"Vettel, hey," Kimi called out as soon as he saw you two. "I heard rumors that you have a new passenger in your very own car. Is that true?"

You burst into laughter at Räikkönen's irony, who maintained a cool demeanor.

"Yes, Kimi, it's true," Seb replied, still chuckling. "The baby is due in March, so just a few months to go."

You nodded in agreement with your boyfriend's statement.

"So, there will be a new fan running around the paddock soon..." Räikkönen commented. "Make sure he doesn't miss the races, Y/N."

"Of course, no need to worry about it..."

"But, hey," Kimi interrupted you, "don't let him stay up all night watching replays of my victories, okay? He's needs some rest too."

Sebastian was bewildered. However, you were laughing even harder at Kimi's antics.

"Don't worry, mate," Vettel replied, "I assure you I'll train her in such a way that she'll be taking you on track before she's even ten."

"Yeah, right, whatever you say" the Finn said ironically. "Just make sure that when she decides to enter the world, you invite me to her big welcome party."

You nodded, playing along with the Lotus driver.

"It's surreal that you've won another victory, Vettel," Kimi continued. "And remember: invite me to the party. I want to welcome the little one with alcohol, lots of alcohol."

Kimi lowered his head in farewell and continued on his way to his garage, letting you both get on with your day.

You and Sebastian knew Kimi well enough to understand that most of his comments were sarcastic, but within the sarcasm, there was genuine happiness for them.

Who would have thought that years later, Charlotte Vettel-Schumacher would become the apple of her godfather, Kimi Räikkönen's, eye, every time she visited the paddock with her mother.

193 notes · View notes

morverenmaybewrites · 2 days

Note

Hi! I'm so glad your back, Pizza Girl is my favorite fanfic of all time!!!

I have a question, about Jason's life as a adopted son of Bruce Wayne, particularly his relationship with Batfamily (especially Dick and Barbara).

During Jasons POV, he often reflects on this time as being warm and homely, easly more comfortable than his previous conditions of living (duh, but still, positive aspects). Buuut, while thinking about his relationship with members of the family, as much as he appreciates the company and patience, he often remembers feeling scared of being thrown away if he makes a mistake, and rarely mentions bonding time with his siblings.

But on the other hand, from Dick's POV, (that I think is more reliable, because Jason's POV is influenced by his abandonment related trauma), it's painfully, heartbreakingly obvious that he loves Jason like a little brother, and that both before and now he still cares and wishes to have a better relationship with him. Similarly Barbara, who's uncondicionably there for him.

So i was thinking, do you have any headcannons for how was their time together before the kidnapping? Its mentioned that it was hard for Jason to open up, but was there time when they managed to do this? What did they like about each other, did they have favorite activities to do together in their civilian lives?

(I feel like I'm asking for fluff but in reality it's tragedy knowing what inevitably happened)

Ayt, I had been putting off answering these for a while because I had a hard time articulating my thoughts on the matter. I still have a hard time articulating my thoughts, so I'm going to try and break it down.

Jason's Relationship with Bruce

I think for the most part, Jason's relationship with Bruce was informed by the fact that while Bruce deeply loved Jason, he didn't love him in the way Jason needed.

By the time the two of them met, Jason was already deeply scarred by his experiences. He was born into one of Gotham"s poorest districts, to two parents who were neglectful at best and abusive at worst.

So when he was plucked off the grimy streets of Park Row and placed into the Wayne Manor, and got told that now, he is another man's son. I imagine the change would have rattled anyone, let alone a street rat who was used to just barely surviving.

Suddenly, there was food whenever he wanted.

Suddenly, he had a bed, the sheets warm and clean and the mattress so soft that he's scared it will swallow him.

Suddenly, he had a family.

And oh, how deeply hard it was to believe that it was all for him.

I imagine he spent most of those early days waiting for the rug to be pulled out underneath him. For him to wake up one day to find himself back in Crime Alley, an orphan once more.

So a lot of his time in Wayne Manor was actually colored by paranoia that, eventually, they will get bored of him, like a rich socialite getting bored of a yapping dog when it goes out fashion.

He spent most of his time trying to prove himself to Bruce, being the best at what he can be, because you don't throw useful things away.

(It does not help that during this time, Bruce was still reeling from his fight with Dick, and ended up comparing Jason to Dick a lot, something that deeply damaged Jason.).

I think that while Bruce deeply Jason, he just wasn't able to provide the sort of loving environment one should provide to a damaged child. He gave him a home, he gave him food, and shelter, and I imagine that if Jason was the type to ask for things (he wasn't), Bruce would have given it to him without a second thought.

But he also gave him the Robin suit, and a responsibility that was, in truth, far too heavy to place on the shoulders of a child. I think Jason probably treated being Robin as a way to "earn" his position into Wayne Manor.

Batman, after all, needed a sidekick.

And Jason was desperate to give them a reason to let him stay.

But I think, that Jason's time with the Joker also colored how he perceives Bruce (how can it not). It made him forget that they had good days, too. And a lot of them.

Because Bruce did care about Jason. He was patient whenever Jason would explode into fits of anger, he let him have the run of the library, they'd talk about their favorite books, ways to better their arsenal. If they had time, I think the relationship would have turned into something beautiful.

If they had time, I think they would have been the two people in the family who understood each other best.

(But sadly, they did not have time. And these days, the memory of him makes Jason run cold.).

Jason's Relationship with Dick

They actually didn't have much of a relationship! It's something that Dick regrets and wishes to fix.

I headcanon that Jason was adopted shortly after Dick's fight with Bruce and his subsequent departure with Bludhaven. During this time, I think that Dick was busy trying to establish his own life, find his own identity. He didn't have much time to come back to Wayne Manor and get to know his new brother.

Whenever he did come by though, Dick did make an effort with Jason, and I think that mattered.

It mattered too, that he and their father were as different as night and day. While Bruce was subdued and muted, Dick was animated, chattering constantly. Asking questions.

On rare occasions, he'd take Jason out to someplace fun, joking that Bruce's idea of fun would be going through the criminal files.

He was a good big brother, when he was there. But most of the time, he was not. And that made it easier for the Joker to make Jason believe that he didn't care.

Jason's relationship with Barbara

I think that, aside from Alfred, Barbara is the closest to Jason.

While Dick was busy trying to establish himself as Nightwing and Bruce was being...Bruce, it was Barbara who took it upon herself to be Jason's mentor.

She'd often look out for him during patrols, give him pointers during training, and she'd also make it a point to make sure that Jason would be able to relax.

If the Batfam ever organized a movie night or an outing to the city park, it was because of her.

A part of Jason definitely remembers this, which is why at the start of the story, Barbara is the only one he bothers keeping in contact with.

#Ask #Batfam headcanons #Jason todd headcanon #Anon #God but it's hard to condense their relationship into short paragraphs #This 100% something I'd rather incoporate into a story but here you go anon

19 notes · View notes

hephaestuscrew · 1 year

Text

A book asks the reader to imagine any sensory input of the story, whereas a film or TV show provides both sound and visuals. Audio fiction lives in the space between these two approaches. I think there's a unique power to that middle ground. I love how audio drama asks the listener to co-construct their sensory experience of the story.

Audio drama allows me to simultaneously experience 'This character feels real to me because I've heard their voice' and 'This character feels real to me because I've pictured them myself'.

What the characters are experiencing is both directly presented to me and left to my imagination. There's no page or screen between me and the story. It's there in my ears. It's there in my mind's eye.

There's a strange sense of intimacy to that, the intimacy of feeling like a fly on the wall during a conversation or of hearing a character speaking as if directly to me. Perhaps it sounds contradictory to say that experiencing a story only through sound allows me to feel uniquely connected to that story, but that's one of the reasons why I love audio fiction so much.

#I am conscious that this is very much the perspective of a sighted and hearing person #and I hope that doesn't come across weirdly #I'm just trying to articulate how I feel about it #This is no shade to books/films/TV btw #They are also excellent mediums with their own strengths #Honestly the main reason why podcasts are my primary form of media consumption #is probs that I'm bad at setting aside time to read/watch things #rather than necessarily because of the specific power of audio fiction #but the particular magic of audio fiction is a nice bonus #I don't really buy into the idea that reading is 'active' while watching video is inherently 'passive'#but under that way of thinking audio fiction is kind of between passive and active in an interesting way #podcasts #audio drama #audio fiction #the empty man posteth #I'd be interested to know if this resonates with anyone else or if it's just me #Also another element to this which makes it weirder is that I have a pretty weak visual imagination #so when I say 'mind's eye' that tends to mean vague concepts for me rather than actual images #but it still helps me feel connected to the story in a unique way. Idk

363 notes · View notes

unopenablebox · 1 month

Text

i admit that i find it a little bit frustrating how Wildly Astonished other antizionist jews act when i tell them my israeli jewish family have lived in the region since [some unknown length of time before 1800 when there start being records about it]

#and then they're like ''ohhh they're mizrahi!'' [connotation nonwhite‚ virtuously indigenous]#and i have to be like. no. it's just that‚ as palestine was in fact ottoman-administered greater syria for most of the last 600 years‚#you could get there from other parts of the ottoman empire. such as the part of now-ukraine your ashkenazi family is also from.#it wasn't actually a hermetically sealed arab-only ethnostate that evaporated immigrants on sight. it was a pretty decent place to live as #a jew by at least some accounts. or better than the front of the hapsburg-ottoman war anyway which is where they were coming from.#i'm not sure who you think it's serving exactly to believe that there were literally no ashkenazim in the middle east before the 1st aliyah #however there were some. and this information does not actually threaten a modern anti-state of israel position like at all.#but since apparently you've constructed your new Diaspora-Centric Identity around the idea that 'palestine' and 'diaspora'#are the two mutually exclusive nonoverlapping regions and the former is ontologically a no-european-jews-allowed zone #i guess i can give you a minute to try to figure it out.#ugh sorry this is nothing it isn't anything. for one thing it's fantastically unimportant #and for another thing i don't know how to like talk about it in a way that doesn't make me sound at least kind of like im trying to justify #myself as being somehow less complicit or something. i mean i think my complicity as an american dwarfs the rest of it honestly but.#i just feel really insanely alienated where the rhetoric of my theoretically most closely politically aligned group is not really built to #like. accommodate the facts of my family history.#sorry. i have honestly no idea why im so obsessed with articulating this concept ive just been chewing on it pointlessly for days #box opener

56 notes · View notes

scintillatingshortgirl19 · 4 months

Text

as much as i despise john house tbh i wish we'd gotten more episodes with him . . . partly for more of that sweet sweet Daddy Issues content but also. because there are so few scenes with this man i have to do so much fucking guesswork when writing him

#i'm trying to make his characterization feel accurate but like. what even IS accurate for him #we see him in only a couple of scenes with a little bit of dialogue in one specific context #it helps that house talks about him now and then #so there's a lot i can infer about his personality based on the info we have #but it's hard to know for sure what he's like/his speech patterns/etc #at this point i feel like he tended to be very cold and methodical when punishing house #and actually rarely lost his temper #he was always sort of . . . chillingly calm #which maybe actually added to the effects of the verbal abuse #because he would tell house how worthless he was in just. the most reasonable and articulate tones #and that made it even harder for house to keep from taking what his dad said to heart #like i'm sure house got yelled at sometimes but #i think john was more of a 'dangerous quiet voice' type of dad #anyway hi i currently have 3 wips dealing with house's childhood trauma :')#house md #john house #em writes #op

20 notes · View notes

mangoazalea · 5 days

Text

please let the Black people in your life know you like, care about them

#mango speaks #i honestly just feel so isolated every single day as a Black queer person #and it's just on my mind 24/7 #on top of all the racist bullshit i have to deal with and worry about constantly.#i'm not gonna lie the fucking rap discourse is really getting to me.#y'all don't wanna appreciate anything Black people do #let alone actually give us credit for what you *do* engage with #i don't know how to articulate what i'm feeling right now #and i feel like i cant get anything out because my brain's trying to force me to sift my feelings through a billion different filters #to make it palletable #i dont know #i'm just feeling a lot lately #vent #<- i guess #this isnt just about the discourse btw i just feel like this constantly and this is just kinda pushing those feelings over the edge

4 notes · View notes

thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname · 8 days

Text

#pickle pontificates #girl help is the lilyorcharddungeonmeshi video gonna be what finally drives me to make a video essay now that school's over #or am i just gonna watch it and rant to my sister and then forget about it as usual #OR am i gonna decide to be normal and not watch things i know are gonna make me mad #i barely know anything about The Discourse surrounding her and i do not care #i just know i saw the steven universe video and another one awhile back and i kept watching because i was hoping in good faith #that there would be A Point #but there never was #it's just a really weird anger and vitriol and attempt to justify not liking something by arguing that it's bad #and a stubborn insistence on analyzing the separate parts of a thing without even attempting to see whether there's anything #in how the parts fit together. like that's media analysis 101. you see what's there. you see how it fits together. you interpret it #you turn it around and play with the interpretations #you try to figure out what the author was trying to convey and then you look at what you got out of it and what others got out of it #you acknowledge that stuff can be good and you can still hate it. or you acknowledge that stuff can be bad and you can still like it #and you acknowledge that sometimes stuff is just neutral and may have different effects on different people #not just ''raaaaaagh this character did bad things and is therefore bad and irredeemable and there is no other option''#newsflash babe. most characters are like that #and like. i acknowledge that there may be ragebait at play here #but i do like engaging with weirdo opinions sometimes because it gives me a chance to articulate my own feelings and investigate why #i feel that way #but i do have to be careful to make sure i'm not just getting off on being mad and falling down the hole for no reason so. we'll see #edit: i remember what it was now it was the writing tips video #it's the weird black and white there's only one way to do art and i'm right about it all the time attitude

2 notes · View notes

lobaznyuk · 11 days

Text

the s*xual tension between me and the decision to watch the dance moms reunion

#i'll be honest i find it hard to watch nowerdays and every clip i've seen makes me physically tense #the lack of empathy for the zieglers (because lbr they're not talking about nia) just sucks #i'm not interested in hearing jojo/kendall/kalani talk shit; not because it hurts my feelings #but because after an entire childhood of being exploited for drama EYE PERSONALLY am not interested in engaging with that #i know they chose to take part as grown adults and i respect that #i just don't want an opinion on it i'm tired #but i will say: a clip i saw of christi saying the zieglers are jealous of jojo's success LMFAOOOOOOOO she's such a bitter hag. move ON #like you cannot be serious. in 2024?#also you hit the fucking lottery with chloe? she's unbelievably kind; she's educated; she's articulate; she's beautiful #she is the epitome of class #why is that not enough for you? why are you STILL jealous of two young women? why does melissa stay rent free in your mind? get a gd GRIP #but every adult involved with that show is foul. i don't want to patronise the girls and say they're these poor victims but so much hurt #could've been avoided #i saw a clip recently of melissa talking about how producers would tell maddie and mackenzie what to say without her present in the room #we're all trying to find the guy who did this!#me: i don't want to have an opinion #also me:

5 notes · View notes

wundrousarts · 1 year

Note

What is your favourite thing about nevermoor (series)?

Omg this is suuuuuch a hard question for me to answer!!! I love basically every aspect of the series, from the characters and their dynamics, to the settings, to the story...... idk if I can truly give One Singular Answer to this because I love it all! There's something truly special with the series that really makes it resonate with me and has kept me glued to it for almost 5 years and will keep me into it for many more.

IF I had to choose One Thing to answer this....... I would probably say the lore of the series and the magic and the way that the worldbuilding relates to those and fleshes out the world, giving it a history that makes Nevermoor (the city and the series) feel full of so much depth. You really get a sense that things, both big and small, happened in the past that affect the present day, and that things in the present day will have an effect on the future. It makes it fascinating to think about how the world was Pre-Massacre, and how things have changed in the last 100 years since then, and why things were the way they were and are the way they are now! I love thinking about Wundersmiths and their role in society and their rise and eventual downfall!!! Ahhhh!!!!! There's just so much I could say.

I just love everything about the worldbuilding and the lore and in-world history Jess has created. You can tell as you read that literally every aspect of the world has so much thought behind it that probably only exists inside Jess's head, but it oozes through the pages anyways and makes the world seem so full of life. I swear once she mentioned possibly releasing some sort of “rule book” / notebook companion book sort thing that explains a lot of behind the scenes lore and how the world and everything works, why stuff is the way it is, etc. after the series and I hope that happens because I can't stop thinking about it.

A silly comparison: I don't really know how to explain it to those unfamiliar with the 2000s guide books, but the worldbuilding of Nevermoor kinda reminds me of the worldbuilding of Uglydolls (no relation to the terrible 2019 movie) and I think maybe that’s partially why I love it so much lmao. Everything was so wacky and weird yet somehow it made sense. I remember reading the books and looking at the spreads of the city or the pictures of the weird vehicles and thinking about where I'd like to go and what I'd do if I lived in that universe LOL. It just felt full of life and for some reason reading Nevermoor reminds me of reading those as a kid.

Also: I've said this before (but maybe not on here?) that I credit a big part of why I'm SO into Nevermoor to the fact that I discovered it like a month or so before Adventure Time ended. I was a HUGE fan of the show (always will be!) and was really into analyzing it and theorizing about it and knew so much about it. I read Nevermoor independent of that, but I think the fact that Wundersmith releasing like a month or two after Adventure Time ended and it being the first new interest I had had in awhile just made my brain "transfer over" as I like to say. The energy I bring to overanalyzing and theorizing about Nevermoor stuff comes directly from how I was when Adventure Time was still airing.

Fun fact: My media overanalyzing led to me correctly guessing how Adventure Time would end, and I am eager to try and do the same with Nevermoor as the series continues.

#nevermoor #asks #idk if any of this makes sense bc the moment I try to talk abt my love for nevermoor I black out and can't articulate correctly #so sorry to anyone thats ever dealt w me gushing abt it both irl and online. it makes me go insane. my brain has been rewired. etc.#does anyone else love using readmores all the time or is it just me #my nevermoor thoughts always turn into nonsense rambles and I feel bad abt big blocks of that so I like giving folks an option to read lol #I just loooove nevermoor so much and theres something so special about it that makes me wish more people paid attention to it #it deserves to reach the same heights as stuff like HP (boo) + PJO (woohoo) and etc. bc I think it appeals to both young + old the same way #I love talking abt nevermoor so much even if half of what I say is nonsense bc of how much I love it. so thanks for asking me abt it.#always open to talking abt nevermoor all hours of the day. its on my mind 24/7 and i'm not rly complaining too much abt that lol

17 notes · View notes