#I'm a survivor and don't want to see excusing or victim blaming stuff
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I know people are going to dislike me saying this and it's why I usually wouldn't and often go out of my way to not use the word but- Eggman has extremely obvious abusive behaviors. he has consistently been blatantly verbally, physically, and emotionally/mentally abusive in the games. and how often this is denied, downplayed, excused, or ignored while he's made out to be a great person makes me uncomfortable.
fans' idea that he's the one who was abused based on a line in a memo that doesn't actually state that at all (and just points to his arrogance, ego, and entitlement) and that he's "breaking the cycle of abuse in the family with Sage" even he didn't actually do anything with her at all is deeply uncomfortable. especially because he's only actually exhibited the exact opposite officially.
not to mention that I also find it uncomfortable how people seem to be really eager to assign a past of abuse to such an evil man, as I'd hate for yet another implication that being abused can turn you into someone so evil and how it's an overdone bad stereotype. also I just don't like to think of him being abused at all for any reason and I'm so glad they haven't actually implied it.
his behaviors don't and shouldn't have a justification or explanation to sympathize with and it's concerning to me that people really want it. it's hard not to speak on it. I understand people being uncomfortable with this aspect of his character but I don't think downplaying it in any way is the way to go about it if you are as it has many bad implications when framed that way.
I hope people can understand why I'm saying this and that I'm also just telling it as I see it
#please don't send me excuses or explanations for his actions#I'm a survivor and don't want to see excusing or victim blaming stuff#abuse mention#dr eggman#eggman#dr robotnik#dr. eggman#sonic frontiers#my post
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Sorry, another "and one more thing" about this Halsin stuff, but there is one aspect of this Halsin vs Minthara debacle that is causing me, as an abuse victim, a lot of pain. And i know I am probably projecting here, and I am fully willing to accept that. But.
It just really bothers me to see a plot where Halsin, abused by Minthara, is being turned on for not being "nicer" to her, just because she has a convenient, "the devil made me do it" excuse.
My abusers had sob stories too. They weren't responsible for their actions because they were drunk and high! How could I not feel pity for them, didn't i know how much they were suffering? Why was I being so MEAN by being ANGRY at them? Wasn't I a better person than holding grudges? How could I be so cruel as to take delight when one of them ended up in jail for unrelated reasons? And don't I know better than to think that what they said and did while drunk/high was really them? And plus, I wasn't perfect myself, I made mistakes before, so that pretty much means I'm evil for not wanting to forgive them/be around them!
I see a lot of parallels to that here, which I'm sure are unintentional on the parts of those saying it. I'm sure in their eyes, it's just defending the character they love. And I don't blame them or hold that against them at all! I get it and I'm sure they feel just as strongly that Minthara should be saved at all costs.
But the parallels are there. To the way abuse victims are pressured into "forgiving" their abusers. As though they owe it to the abuser. By being abused, they have become indebted to their abuser, and that debt will only be repaid when they forgive. Notice that there is NO expectation of ANYTHING from the abuser. The idea that they should have to WORK for that grace is treated as repulsive. (Why is no one angry that Minthara didn't make her case better to Halsin? Didn't apologize? Didn't say "I'm glad your Grove wasn't slaughtered" or "I'm glad you survived" or literally anything to indicate she cared about Halsin's suffering?) The onus is solely on the abuse survivor to forgive, whether or not the abuser has actually changed at all- let alone whether they've tried to show the VICTIM they had. Already, there is an implicit suggestion that Halsin, as the victim of abuse, should have put up with it, and that he should just accept that Minthara, as his abuser, should get what she wants just by asking. And no one cares that Halsin is afraid for his life and the player's, independent of forgiveness... his feelings are secondary to his abuser's.
This discourse is already leaving a very, very bad taste in my mouth.
If one wants to criticize other aspects of the writing in that scene, I get it, and can appreciate many of the concerns that have been voiced (like whether it's actually in character- I think it is, but can understand disagreement- or etc). But this particular thing, the overarching theme of "Halsin should not object to sharing a living space with the person responsible for his torture, and that he won't is a black mark on his morality" is bothering me. I hope I haven't offended anyone here, but that is how it's already starting to feel.
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I sometimes hate Azriel so fkn much... like I know I'm gonna love him at some point, there is no chance I wouldn't. sjm has a way with words but my god... right now... I HATE HIM SO FKN MUCH!!!
This character alone is the reason this fandom hate at least three female characters in this series: Mor, Gwyn, Elain
Mor is literally being hated for no reason. And it doesn't help the fact that she's also queer and a (SA) survivor from her abusive family. People say she's been leading Az for 5 century while idk how she could be anymore obvious about her choice on the matter. I mean if I had a little self-respect I wouldn't have chased a woman when it's clear she doesn't want to be chased and I think she did it in the best way to not hurt him and also keep things neutral and still be his friend but as we all know this man is a shadow daddy so he's the one being wronged y'know...
Gwyn being hated bc she's a barrier between two people of a non canon (I repeat NON CANON) ship and again she's a SA survivor and never been given a chance to choose for herself. She's being villainized to make some people feel better and hopeful that one day their ship will be canon and destroy the villain so they can make their way to each other (I'M HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING I CAN'T-) like if you talk about Gwyn alone to someone they would fall in love with her idk how they could put a villain arc in her story...
Elain again having no choice in becoming a high fae and the only character trait they made for her is in the circle of being a housewife for Azriel, if not that they completely forget her desire not to want to be a warrior or spy or anything that has to do with violence and make her a full spymaster (that actually doesn't make a single sense since he's so abundant to keep her safe all the time and not wanting to expose her to troves bc he thinks so little of her and not trusting her in handling these stuffs?) or the high lady of Prison... yeah she would thrive there absolutely!!! We don't know much about this character and still people make it like they do and put their ideas and fantasies in her while we've never been in her head once!!
As you can see why I hate him so much. (I know it's probably not much of his fault really but his stans and I really hate that about this fandom)
ps: I know there are other reasons to dislike Elain but honestly didn't we all hated Nesta before her book? I'm pretty sure sjm would make us love her INDIVIDUALLY and not bc her relationship with someone...
The Mor and Az situation is complicated and messy but at the end of the day, he has had 500 years to ask Mor to sit down and have a real conversation about whether she has interest in him.
Really, it's as easy as that.
It's never easy to want someone who doesn't seem to want you in return and maybe you give it some time to see if that changes. But no one gets to play the victim after 500 years of pining for someone and I'm not sure why the narrative is always "poor Az". Maybe he tried to confess his feelings after her assault but that's not an excuse for never trying again within the last 5 centuries. He's the one who wants to know so he's the one that needs to approach her, not vice versa.
And yeah, Gwyn has done nothing to warrant hatred from anyone. She doesn't have to be someone's favorite character but the agenda to turn her evil or be some cruel seductress trying to lure Az away from Elain is ridiculous. She doesn't even know Az likes Elain. She's never even MET Elain. It doesn't matter if E/riel is canon or not, if Gwyn was being flirtatious with Az, Az never felt it was inappropriate considering he didn't vocalize having feelings for someone else. Instead he raised his brows high in amusement. He didn't feel guilt over the thought of Gwyn's happiness sparking something in his chest. Why is blame being placed on Gwyn when she's completely clueless as to what Az does when he leaves the training ring?
And yes, Elain has a mate. Yes, Elain was about to kiss Az. But so what? Nesta all but declared her love for Cassian then turned around and slept with other males yet I have never seen anyone shame her for that. But Elain being ready to kiss Az when she has never made promises to Lucien makes her a terrible person? People really don't seem to grasp the fact that to the sisters, mate doesn't mean anything to them at the start of their journey's. They were HUMANS for 20 plus years. The mating bond is not sacred to them. If the mating bond is the equivalent to fae religion, then people are attacking Elain for not jumping right on board with fae religion when she was raised to believe in something else. She hasn't embraced being fae yet therefore she is not ready to deal with her mating bond. She just lost her fiance, give the girl some time to play the field before making another life long decision. And again, Lucien has never once said, "Elain, can we sit down and discuss our bond?" He keeps it surface level so she does too. Of course we know he'd like more than that but him desiring more and him actually approaching her with purpose (and not just tiptoeing around waiting for her to give him a sign) means he's being just as complacent.
AZ is the one who was raised to respect the mating bond yet he's the one who knew it was wrong to kiss Elain with Lucien in the house yet he didn't care. He's the one who is willing to burn bridges with an important ally with a female who he's never thought of beyond his sexual fantasies. He's the one who can't even admit to being completely over Mor.
The girls are so young compared to Az (Elain is 24ish and Gwyn is 28) but they are expected to behave impeccably while the 500 year old torturer gets free passes left and right. It makes no sense.
As far as your PS. I don't hate Elain at all. Sure she should have done more in the way of chores in the cabin at the start of the series but really, what has her big crime been since then? She was willing to risk her engagement for Feyre and allowed her to use their house in the human lands to meet with the queens. She's been kind to Feyre's new found family. She didn't blame Feyre for the fact that she was made. She helped Feyre by designing and maintaining her garden. She apologized in front of everyone for failing Feyre. She didn't blame Nesta for her fathers death. She wants to spend time with Feyre AND Nesta. Yes, she was disappointed to find Nesta wasn't getting better but only because Cassian told her he thought the training was helping. And no, she didn't understand what Nesta needed in order to heal but that's because Nesta refused to open up and pushed Elain away. It was easy for Nesta to sit beside Elain's bedside because all she had to do was read her book. Did Nesta EVER ask Elain for something which Elain refused to do? Did Nesta invite her out to the bar with her? Elain did reach out and Nesta, knowing it would hurt Elain and knowing that Elain was also struggling after the war and the death of their father told her to leave her alone.
I'm not going to blame Elain who is also dealing with trauma to not have the answers for Nesta's problems. It's not her job and she did make it known that she wanted to spend time with Nesta. Nesta rejected her offers and only showed up to get rent money for Feyre.
Really, it's funny to me how much hate the females of the series get. They are flawed but so are the males. They are not MORE flawed and actually, for how young they are and how recent (and major) their traumas are, I'd say they don't deserve the hatred coming their way.
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So the community of Death is the only ending for the Villainess in my country are totally fine with Penelope's and Siyeon's abusers. I really have to thank you for opening my eyes or else I'll be blind like them
Penelope's and Siyeon's adoptive families literally abused her,starved her and neglected her. Yet people used the excuse:"They just haven't opened their hearts to her and are struggling about how to express their true feelings to her". Ok sound like BULLSHIT
Like WTF??!!! They acted horrible and abusive to her so what's this about not expressing their "true feelings" ? I've seen cases of tsundere but this ain't about someone in denial or struggling with how they truly feel,this is about bastards who objectified a poor girl due to their oversized ego and mysogynistic morals, bastards who think a girl just need pretty stuff as apologies
They hurt her, that is the only truth there is. They only see her as an object of entertainment,one they used as they pleased.
They only cling onto her bc she acted unusual or intriguing as how they see it, which is usually weird to me as how everyone just love the girl when she's someone else. I mean it's understandable if they were strangers at first,but we're talking about abusers here
These men does not love or care about Penelope,they just found her interesting bc she's different now. It's all attraction not affection
All of this shit about "they treated her like shit but they actually care" are complete trash to me
vadd really seems to be full of abuse apologism and the readers eat that up. I'm concerned that the majority of them doesnt question anything and just accepts what the narrative presents to them. Critical thinking skills? Never heard of them. It's like they can't form their own opinion. Comment sections of Isekai manhwas all look the same as if they were AI generated. Anyone who doesn't echo the same opinion gets shut down quickly. They don't want a realistic portrayal of abuse survivors. If there's one they'll get frustrated or start to victim blame. *cough* I'll twist the neck of a sweet dog *cough*
When I first read vadd I was happy that the abuse was so severe because it would mean there was no way the author would find a way to excuse this kind of behaviour. It looked really like we were getting a revenge story. Imagine my disappointment when I got spoilered. You can't defend the duchy by saying it was just a misunderstanding. Calling Penelope slurs, denying her an education, isolating her from a social life, locking her up, starving her because she threw a tauntrum isn't being tsundere it's straight up abuse.
I have no problem if the vadd fandom simps for an abusive fictional character as long as they know what they do is abuse, but calling Penelope paranoid and partly guilty of the abuse as well is horrifying. How would the same readers react to an irl abuse case if they think the Eckarts behaviour is no big deal? I have the suspicion they only insist on the abuse being a misunderstanding because they think they are not allowed to simp for problematic characters if they aren't morally pure/misunderstood hence why they seek to justify their crimes somehow (hardcore Callisto stans are the greatest offenders here).
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hello, that's my ask about determinism
tw: determinism, csa and i guess victim blaming
sometimes i feel like humans arent really beings who constantly get to make choices. i feel like our brains are just reacting to stimulants and behaving in such a way that a strong enough computer could take every variable into account and predict the future. like some of these games where you kind of give some little guys a personality and put them in an set environment and the game just makes stuff happen based off of that.
it's not something that torments me but sometimes when i overthink it i find it hard to blame my abuser. im convinced that somehow i could have been him. that it would have only taken the right circumstances. and that maybe he only did what he did because he had those circumstances lined up. and he was not even that much older (6 years gap when i was 9). and it makes me feel so bad. like i'm lucky to have the higher ground but i could have been just as disgusting.
what would it have taken for me to be awful, as awful as him? fortunately i didn't actively harm someone as a consequence of the csa but i kissed someone younger once when i was a child and pulled away immediately. i felt really bad ever since. and i keep thinking how close was i to be like him? how much can i blame him? did he just fall into a predictable set of actions that preceded his birth? maybe thousands of year ago what he did was already written and it's not his fault he's just a rabot with extra features and so am i.
i'm not even a spiritual person, it's just an idea that stuck with me for a while and even when i was abused i kept thinking yeah but it's not his fault he did that. he couldn't resist it and i didnt actively stop him. how much is it his fault if he just really really need to get released? it's incomparable i know but sometimes i think to myself how is that any different than me uncontrollably snacking? maybe i could have avoided it but maybe something about the way my day started was such that at 2am today i *had* to snack on chips. and maybe the whole universe since its very creation is such that he *had* to hurt me.
Hi anon,
I definitely see what you're saying about how determinism can almost excuse abuse because it implies that it's not their fault because they had no choice in the end. I think everyone's free to believe what they want, but to me this train of logic sounds harmful to survivors.
I believe that we are all each other living wildly different lives and with different genetic traits and predispositions (similar to solipsism) but I also believe we're all responsible for our behavior in some way. I think of myself in my abuser's shoes and I hate myself for what I've done, or maybe I've been through enough numbing experiences as him to the point where I don't have remorse for or even awareness of the effects of my actions. But there's only so much speculation that can be done, because there are probably factors I'm not considering because I'm simply not living his life.
I find solace in knowing that abuse is often a choice. I think even to times were I trolled or harassed someone else, and I can see how it was a choice I made. I could've just as easily (if not more) just avoided saying or doing anything, but I felt defensive in one way or another and decided to act on that feeling in a spiteful and venomous way. Of course abuse isn't always a choice, sometimes it's on accident, sometimes it's coerced, but I still don't believe that a lack of choice necessarily points to determinism. I think determinism has the ability to strip meaning from reality, which I think is a central underpinning to life, the perpetual search for meaning.
It's easy for trauma survivors like us to speculate about the "meaning" of our abuse, even in a grand, astral context. I've definitely had times where I wondered if my abuser was destined to do this to me, if perhaps he as a entity is present throughout previous and future lifetimes, eternally tormenting me in different contexts. There are a lot of things we don't know about life and how to make sense of it. A lot of it is messy and horrifying. My experience has led me to encounter the problem of evil, which you may have as well. I see life as the perpetual battle against evil, and I try my best to be on the benevolent side.
I digress. Perhaps your abuser's behavior was predictable given his circumstances, but I don't believe that excuses what he's done. Even if we are just robots programmed to do these things, I think it's still wrong. Maybe we should investigate the programmer for writing that part in, you know?
I also resonate with what you said in the last paragraph. It took me a long time to actually blame my abuser and not his alleged trauma. When I was enduring his abuse I would always tell myself that he doesn't know any better, that this was how he was raised to express his love, and yet I wouldn't say that to any other victim. I found it to be internalized victim blaming, or even just trying to deny the harsh reality that I was actually being abused.
I also just want to say the thing my counseling professor says which is that even if you "have" to eat something because you're hungry, you're still making the choice to eat instead of starve to death.
There's a lot to say with this subject so I apologize for rambling but I hope I could help or provide some insight and I'm here if you need anything or want to talk about this more.
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Howdy, welcome to my sideblog.
Carrd for if you don't want to read this post (I literally just copy+pasted my DNI from my carrd lmao)
DNF IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING APPLIES TO YOU:
Under 17, Anti-ship/Pro-harassment/Pro-censorship in fiction, any form of LGBTQ-phobic, exclus, transmed, believe "Queer is a slur", TERF/SWERF, anti-kink/kink critical, anti-Black Lives Matter, anti-ACAB, use religion to excuse bigotry, pedophile or support/defend pedophiles, victim blame SA/CSA survivors, turn a blind eye to predators in your community(/ies), excuse death threats/suicide bait/threats of violence, pro-"life"/anti-choice, refer to CSEM/CSAM as "C//////P" or "child p////rn
(list may be added to in the future)
Basic things to know about me ->v
Name(s): Katt or Jordan, though René, Link, Grell, Harley, Mikey, and Key are also 100% acceptable
Language: English. I want to learn Korean and ASL
Nationality: American (unfortunate, I know, but it wasn’t my idea /j)
Race: Mixed. I primarily identify as Black, though I'm also part Native American (muscogee/creek and blackfoot) and white (really I'm more white than I am Native but I don't like to think about that)
Gender & Orientation: Queer (demiromantic/arospec, sex repulsed aego-pansexual gay nonbinary man); I'm Genderfluid, my pronouns are He/Him, They/Them, Xe/Xim, Kit/Kits, or literally any pronouns you see fit that aren't "she/her" or "it/its"
I am a fiction-kin. The main characters I kin at the moment are Link, Grell, Harley Quinn, Alois Trancy, Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir, and Sebastian/Glam from Metal Family. I don't believe I am these characters, but I heavily relate to them in different ways.
I AM PRO-CHOICE. If this wasn’t already made abundantly clear by my DNI/DNF, bio/description, about, or just the stuff I’ve been posting on here since, what October 2019?, this better make it obvious.
I'm a spoonie due to chronic vertigo, migraines, and possibly POTS and hEDS
I'm autistic as well as ND in other ways (not yet medically validated). I also have very low empathy (on an empathy quotient test I scored a 16.0). I use tone indicators sometimes, but if I don't and I end up coming off as mean/rude, I simply don't have the energy to mask anymore. I'm naturally pretty monotone/deadpan, even in my sense of humor, and it can and will translate into text. No, I will not apologize if your feelings get hurt.
Likes (bolded = special interest, italicized = hyperfixation): Music (especially rock, r&b, and Kpop, but I’m not picky about genre), BOTW, Animals (especially snakes), Horror, Greek mythology, Witchcraft, A:TLA, TLOK, BNHA, Beastars, The Umbrella Academy, Singing, Rapping, Dancing, Stuffed toys, Stimming, Hannibal, Sewing, Mantids, Tarantulas & Jumping spiders, Butterflies, Mermaids, Dragons, cartoons, anime, Ice cream, Cheesecake, Baking, Miraculous Ladybug, Animal Crossing (dm or send an ask off-anon for my friend code :3), MLP, LoliRock, Metal Family, medical dramas (specifically The Good Doctor, Grey's Anatomy, and House M.D.)
Dislikes: Most bugs (especially beetles), small cracks, loud noises that I can't control, broccoli
If you have any questions feel free to DM me or send me an ask off-anon so I can answer privately. Ableist bullshit will not be tolerated.
[Image ID: A gif of the character Grell Sutcliffe from the anime Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji. She is blushing, winking, and blows a kiss, making a baby pink heart appear and bounce from her hand towards the viewer, quickly moving upward. END ID]
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