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ilminnestrone · 1 month

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Final Fantasy VII cured my PSSD

I've been deep down in PSSD, which is Post SSRI (a common antidepressant class) Seggsual Disfunction, for two years. That means my libido was simply non existent and I kinda had seggs with my husband once? Twice? in a couple of years and it wasn't even something special. No interest in seggs whatsoever. Never. For anyone.

Then we played Crisis Core. And Remake. And Rebirth.

All of them. All of those stupid characters were stupidly hot. I have a crush for every single bitch in there. I want Zack Fair's children. I could teach Cloud Strife some tricks. I would sing the Hallelujah for Vincent fucking Valentine. I could bury my face into Tifa's talents. Sephiroth can break my body whenever I want.

I send p0rn to our friends. I read smu7 fanfiction on the job. I now have quite a collection of h3nta1 fanart on my phone. My husband is now terrified because he kinda came to terms with the issue and he suddenly has a desperately h0rny spouse that just want to be shagged stupid.

It's frustrating but it's funny, you can make fun of me. The new me would say I give full consent to public humiliation.

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solahifuefos · 5 months

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my gender is a fucking mess. I was born amab, transitioned early, and then starting going the other direction after bottom surgery to be more androgynous. because of this, I pass as trans guy. I go to a local queer youth group and the leader is a trans man in his 30s, he thinks I'm a afab trans guy on T.

And so do all of my irl friends, all afab, two are trans masc, the other a cis lesbian.

One of the trans mascs refers to everyone as "they" even though he knows peoples pronouns, unless the person is a trans women and then he uses "he" for them on instinct.

In conversations about sex, they all don't even consider trans women as a possibility of existing, visibly confused if I ever mention them. (tm:"I'm a lesbian I can't get pregnant lol I'll never touch a dick" me:"I mean trans women exist", all three of them:???)

I am fucking terrified that if I ever slip up or let them know I'm trans fem nb/butch and not an afab trans guy they'll stop talking to me, and think I'm a threat to be around.

I feel like a spy behind enemy lines and at any moment they'll destroy me and tell everyone I was invading womens spaces to rape them or something.

I don't know what to do. Transmisogyny is just so deeply embedded in every afab person around me and they dont even realise it.

#transmisogyny

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justtogetthrough · 1 year

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Today's follow up with the crisis centre was so bad for so many reasons but the weirdest part was her trying to figure out my friend's gender.

I exclusively refer to my friend with they/them because they've said that's their preference and what makes them feel good, but if people use their agab pronouns they can live with it. I don't wanna be part of what they have to just live with and tolerate though so I consistently use they/them even when my conversation partners use other pronouns and their other name. It makes for weird conversations but I'm gonna use what I know they like best and other people are apparently determined to keep using what they've been using historically despite being told to use something else, so, whatever. I've asked my friend if I should correct people and they said don't bother so I don't and we just have strange conversations about the same person but refer to them entirely differently. It works.

But when I talk to people who DONT know my friend, that's what gets weird.

Because I'm a girl most people assume my friend is a girl too it seems. Despite me giving no indication of a gender, never mention their genitals or appearance or anything that could be interpreted as masculine or feminine, just that I have a great friend who loves and supports me, people like this crisis worker will just start using she/her while I carry on with they/them. At one point she switched it up and referred to my friend as "he" I think to see if I'd correct her but, again, I just ignore what other people use and carry on with what I use. I've asked my friend if I should correct people and they said nah, I'll tolerate it.

So today in the back and forth about how poorly I've been coping the last 2 weeks and how over Christmas we lost power and I had to stay with my friend and their family, like 30 minutes into the call, of the worker using she and me using they, the worker finally goes "is your friend male or female?" Man, it really matters to people I guess. So I responded "they're nonbinary". And the worker said oh and then we kept talking and she kept referring to my friend as she. I still had given no indication what their agab was.

I notice this a lot and usually I presume people assume my friend is afab because most people know I'm gay af ergo my favourite person must be female, but my sexuality never came up with this worker either so I guess the assumption here is that since I'm a girl, my best friend must be a girl. And because I didn't state they are in fact a boy, then they must be a girl?

But I said straight up they're nonbinary, which means they're neither girl nor boy.

It's so fucking weird talking to people honestly.

I kind of wish I did have permission to aggressively correct people because I have with other trans/nb people ive known and it is in fact a hill I'm willing to die on, but. Gotta respect people's preferences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ even when it annoys me lol

It was just fucking strange when during my crisis follow up the worker literally stopped our conversation to be like was your friend born with a dick or a vag. I need this information.

🫠

#these types of conversations happen wirh my friends husband and parents all the time cuz they use their agab and legal name and i dont #i get it with them and people who knew my friend before they came out and stuff but i still think they should try harder #its the stranger thing that really gets to me tho. how many times do i need to say THEY before you realize maybe my friend isnt a girl?#like for real my friend could be anything and yet the assumption is always GORL #whats with that #is it bc people read me as straight and im so pathetic no man could like me lol like idfk #personal #o #sleeping pill cocktails

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lesakuraciel · 5 years

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trans ask game!

original by @solareclipselgbt

1.) what’s your gender and pronouns?

nb and they/them!

2.) what does your name mean (either literally, or to you personally)

i don't feel a particular connection to my birth name, though it is based off anna karenina (it's anna corinne), but i've been toying w the idea of going by ashe... obv it's based on the tree but to me it means walking through a dappled forest near the end of winter, timeless and strange and perfect

3.) when and how did you realize you were trans?

not entirely sure, def after i figured out i wasn't straight(which was aug. 2016), but as far as accepting my place under the /trans/ flag (i knew i was nb, but was still hesitant bc of the people against enbys iding as trans), that didn't happen until like. end of last year,

4.) what was the most helpful in figuring out and accepting yourself as trans?

my trans friends definitely!! and also doing a report on enbys in the trans community, and subsequently finding what, the white stripe means, i still have trouble asking people who already know me to use they/them though,, (i still say she/her is fine even though it's kinda not)

5.) have you or do you plan on medically transitioning?

i do plan to get top surgery! and soon, hopefully!!! other than that, i eventually want a hysterectomy, but no hrt

6.) what’s something you’re most looking forward to in your transition (or something that was your favorite part of transitioning)?

no! boobs! i hate them!! and not having to wear extra layers (read: binder) in summerr

7.) do you have dyed hair?

sjsjsnd yea it's dark blue right now don't think /that's/ natural lmao i even have The Haircut (tm)

8.) who was the first person you came out to (or plan to come out to)?

i'm pretty sure it was my good friend henry!! i mean, he also basically told me i wasn't straight cause i wouldn't admit it :'>

9.) what’s your favorite season?

fall!! so many pretty colors and finally, appropiate weather for the jackets i wear year-round,

10.) have you ever been to pride?

yep! i went to pride for the first time in tacoma last year!! (plan to go to the seattle one this year)

11.) if you’re on hrt, what changes suprised you the most?

not on hrt!

12.) what gives you the most gender euphoria?

oh being called "sir" definitely, and a xloae second is when strangers use they/them to refer to me!

13.) do you have a specific piece of clothing thats especially gender affirming to you?

hmm i mean my binder obv but other than that, certain shirts when i bind? idk they just Do(tm)

14.) what’s your favorite trans joke or meme?

friend who is very comfortable in their identity: talks abt someone not realizing and being transphobic around them/other people not knowing how trans things work/etc.

(sarcasm) wow i can't believe you're really a cishet

15.) if you’ve had any gender affirming surgeries, how was your experience? what are the biggest positive effects?

not had surgery yet, but kaiser permanante has been great so far in working w me !!!

16.) do you have any piercings?

haha just one in each ear, and i basically never use those

17.) who’s your favorite trans character? or do you have any characters you headcanon as trans?

we stan lup from taz in this house

other than that, i hc a lot of characters as trans! e.x. bakugo, todoroki, and kirishima (bnha), snufkin (moomins), indrid and angus (taz), and like, a lot more,,

18.) what do you wish other people understood better about being trans?

just. it's okay to ask pronouns. god

better to ask than to assume

also use context clues, jesus (like if someone isn't out, they may switch to a diff name for some people. never use it unless they ask you to)

19.) top 5 fav songs?

bohemian rhapsody - queen

oi - carbon leaf

light in the hallway - ptx

ocean city - anthony ramos (this isn't anywhere but soundcloud but it's So Good???? go listen)

wait for it - hamilton soundtrack

20.) what advice would you give your younger self?

you can be more assertive about being trans, most people are good abt it and those who aren't can learn or fuck right off

21.) do you have any pets?

yep! my baby, friend

and my doggo, kody!

22.) do you find yourself fitting into gender roles, or consider yourself gender non-conforming?

def gnc!! i like to be androgynous, whixh usually means wearing masc clothes bc i still present fem, somehow,

23.) are you part of your schools gsa or any lgbt organizations?

nope! i prefer to make friends by just chatting, and they usually end up being non-cishwt anyhow lmao

24.) any trans role models?

not really tbh, i see a lot of people that i want to emulate, but i can't think of any in particular atm.

now that i think abt it though, my friend henry has been a sort of guiding light in figuring out, accepting, and then loudly proclaiming my identity, bc i've def come a long way since sophomore year! (if you're reading this, thank u henry)

25.) did you go through multiple gender identities before figuring out your gender now?

yep! i id'ed as genderflux very shortly, then demigirl for a long time, and finally nb/genderqueer!

26.) what makes you most proud to be part of the trans community?

it's so positive and uplifting!! i love that people are just, kind to others that's v nice

27.) favorite movie growing up?

princess bride was and is my favorite movie, but mulan was my fav disney movie and well, if that was someone's fav movie and they ended up cishet? i'd be surprised

28.) if you went by multiple names before deciding your current name, which was the first?

n/a

29.) do you have any pride merch or pride related tattoos?

i have a rainbow flag (handheld) on my bookshelf, and a genderqueer one behind my bed (big)! i also have a trans flag shawl that i made, pan flag converse, several pride shirts, and a pride hat! i'm not shy about letting everyone know i'm neither straight nor cis lmao

30.) if you experience dysphoria, what do you find helps you the most?

binding definitely helps! i get mild dysphoria wearing anything other than a binder or sports bra, and also on my period :/

31.) do you have any siblings, friends, or family who are also trans?

@dorkryptos is my friend and so is henry!! none of my family is though ):

32.) which gender roles or cis beliefs do you find most ridiculous?

nail polish is feminine?? deodorant and razors are gendered???? flowy things are feminine????? guys can't have style beyond Tux(tm)????????????????? fuck all that noise

35.) if cis people didn’t exist for a day, what would you do?

33.) how did you decide on your current name?

go out and make some new friends! ^^

34.) do you fit any trans stereotypes?

i have dyed hair and That haircut, i'm fairly short and afab, i mostly wear ""masc"" clothes, i'm in high school, etc. etc.

ahah, i didn't? but w ashe i wanted smthn with the same initial, old-timey, and connected to nature

only like, every single trans nb stereotype,

#lesa speaks #this is from that trans ask meme i rbed right before this #sorry for spelling errors i just got fake nails for the first time ever #trans rights babey!

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colorisbyshe · 6 years

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Ace Discourse is definitely Baby's First Discourse (except that inclusionists are a bunch of dusty 30/40 year olds like.... yikes), but what do you think about this new discourse (idk if it's actually new lol but it's new on my dash). I mean the "are all nb ppl trans" discourse. I'm nb and I don't consider myself trans, tbh. As an amab transmasc nb person, I don't think it fits? or is appropriate? but idk... btw this pan vs bi discourse is getting wild lmao pansexuals can seethe w/ Freud lmao

I think it’s complicated when we consider the broad range of nonbinary identities and their material realities. There are some nonbinary people whose realities more closely resemble those of cis people and there are some nonbinary people whose realities more closely resemble those of trans people.

Which is actually… the point of nonbinary identities. It’s important and vital to understand that nonbinary identities can take on many forms and some of them are… not far removed from cis. I’m saying this as a person who falls under that category.

I’m afab and feel “woman-aligned.” I go by she/her pronouns and don’t get overwhelmingly upset when referred to as a woman. I’m more impacted by misogyny than transphobia. My gender presentation is fairly genderless, I’m not feminine, but I don’t actually push any boundaries or transgress anything.

I’m not and likely never will be the target of most forms of transphobia.

And I don’t really identify as trans besides recognizing I fall under the umbrella of trans which means “does not identify with their agab.” I can recognize that while nbphobia stems from transphobia and is a facet of it and that people will not understand my gender identity because of transphobia and I can also recognize that… most transphobia is distinctly about people identifying as the “opposite” of their agab–ie people (wrongly) seen as “women” identifying as men and vise versa.

There is a gulf of experiences between me and trans people who identify as the binary opposite of their agab. And there… isn’t necessarily a huge gap between me and cis women.

There are cis women who resent the confines, expectations, and “rules” of womanhood as much as I do. There are cis women who hate being seen as women because of what it means as much as I do. There are cis women who actually push the boundaries of gender more than I do in terms of presentation and reception (ie butch lesbians are pushing against gender norms more than I feel I am).

So, y’unno, it’s complicated. Because there’s “transgender as does not identify as your agab” which all nonbinary people are and there’s transgender as “across gender” which a lot of nonbinary people aren’t. And that’s okay.

I’m not recommending a cut off of “your material reality must be this trans to enter.” Especially since trans realities vary so widely–the life of a trans person who passes is different from a trans person who does not who’s life is different from a closeted trans person, etc etc.

But I also think it’s unhelpful to pretend like an afab demigirl faces the same level of hardship and scrutiny as a trans man or a trans woman.

Regardless, I think we should stick together because we face the same aggressors, potentially the same issues, and we have the same goals and experiences and activism. We want the same things for the same reasons to the same effect. But we can acknowledge that different nb identities have a different relationship to transphobia, somewhat like how different bisexual folk have different relationships to homophobia– a woman primarily attracted to men has a different relationship to “gayness” than a woman primarily attracted to women. The relationship is there for all bi folk but your mileage may vary.

Likewise, a nb person who primarily identifies with their agab has a different relationship to transness than one who identifies as the “opposite” of their agab.

Both have a relationship to transness but it’s different.

And that’s okay.

So, I guess the simplest way to put is “I think all nonbinary people belong under the trans umbrella but different nonbinary people have different material realities when it comes to transness which is why we should stop conceptualizing nonbinary identities as a monolith.”

Across all trans and nonbinary identities, there are infinite experiences and for most cases little connects us together besides “Not quite a fan of being labeled a gender at birth :/// That’s rude.” Y’unno? Even trans/nb people of the same gender can have wildly different experiences.

But we all just want people to respect what we say our gender is and accept that how we present and exist is our choice that’s only our fucking business.

So, y’unno, if if a nb person says they’re trans, I feel it. If they say they’re not, I get it. But also we should all understand that sometimes… some people are “more trans.” That’s not at all the best way to phrase it but like… it’s the most blunt way to get my point across.

And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be “less trans.” And I recognize that for people who are bigender or completely agender or not at all aligned fall in a grey area. Which is why I recognize nb identities aren’t a monolith--but for the “nb ppl who align with their agab” I think there’s room to say “Hey, sometimes our relationship to cis AND transness means some trans conversations and spaces aren’t really meant for us” and also “sometimes that means we have it a lot, lot easier.”

But recognizing that nuance is gonna get me labeled an nbphobe lmao. Just like I’m a bisexual biphobe for saying some bisexual people are “gayer” than others.

I guess I’m a bigot towards all of my own identities. Yikes.

#my politics are heavily invested in material realities when it comes to more abstract idnetities #and i'm never really gonna budge on that #Anonymous

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