#I'll survive I suppose
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No shame, these guys. Kissin' anytime people aren't looking tsk tsk
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fanart#redacted milo#redacted sweetheart#don't want 'em to be silly on your porch? open the door sooner.#sweetheart who wears lipstick specifically so their kisses leave marks of Milo#end of thought#they's their them#Milo's beard almost gave me an aneurysm trying to draw#and Sweetheart still looks weird#FUCK#well#live laugh love#I'll survive I suppose#also#unrelated but in my crazy brain Sweetheart and David are cousins#It's a little bit of a distant relation but it's still there
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more cfau miscellaneous things because Childhood Friends Danny and Jason have my head and heart always and I need to finish rewriting chapter two dammit (and redo the half-finished chapter 4 because its just Not The Vibes). i'm almost through I need to get through the graveyard scene. (i just stubbornly refuse to have it be shorter than the original chapter and thats the little death. that is the mind killer.)
Danny and jason’s ghost forms both smell faintly like burnt flesh and cigarettes. However, Jason has a more smokey smell while Danny’s smells almost,,, electrical? In a sense? Like he just straight up smells like burnt flesh and sulphur while Jason smells like someone put him in a smoker first.
It’s very much an unpleasant smell but Danny finds an odd comfort in it just as much as he finds a comfort in the smell of nicotine.
(Jason post-revival smells burnt flesh once and is immediately offput by the fact that it brings him an instinctive comfort. He doesn’t realize its because it reminds him of Danny, and is uncomfortable by it.)
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In an au of an au, Danny’s altercation with Rath ends with Rath regaining enough of his sanity to snap out of the grieving state and ends with him breaking down. Instead of being souped and imprisoned, Rath, who is permanently 14, decides to Move On into the unknown. He’s exhausted, heartbroken, and tired.
(Is this influenced heavily by the ParaNorman scene where he talks to Agatha and helps her move on? Yes. But it doesn’t fit with the Original Storyline so im shoving it into an Au of an Au.)
Rath tells Danny that Jason lied to them (which he genuinely believes), and that he’s tired of waiting/looking for him/grieving. Jason is gone. He isn’t coming back, he abandoned them. And he wants his mom and dad, and his sister, and his friends. And he’s ready to join them.
He leads Danny out to Gotham, which other than Amity Park might’ve been the only city left untouched due to Rath’s own mental block on the place. They go out to the park he and Jason used to frequent or up to one of crime alley’s rooftops, and there Rath lies down and goes to sleep. Only to never wake up again, materializing into nothing as his soul moves on.
Before Rath leaves, he forces Danny to promise him that he’ll only wait for Jason for ten years. After that if he doesn’t find him, or if Jason doesn’t show, then Danny has to move on. Whether that be like how Rath does, or if its inly mentally/emotionally, doesn’t matter. He has to move on. Don’t wait for him. Don’t waste his time any more.
(“Oh, and if you find him, kick his ass for me.”)
Danny reluctantly agrees, and Rath lies down. Danny sings to him as he falls asleep.
(Angsty points if the vigilantes including Red Hood caught wind of their presence and were silently watching from the shadows. Rath might know they’re there, but Danny’s too focused on Rath to notice.)
(If only so that Red Hood realizes that this is what happened to Danny, and that Danny is gone before he can make things right. The tragedy, folks. The angst. The initial realization that Danny was Rath, and then also that Danny was dead and has been dead for years, and that before he moved on, he moved on believing that Jason abandoned him.)
(like i said it doesn't fit in the original timeline/storyline hence why its an au of an au and isn't nearly a fleshed out, but i was largely just focusing on the tragedy of Rath moving on and Jason being alive to see it and realize just who Rath is.)
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Just like how the Lazarus pits shot Jason's twiggy 4'6-5'4 (depending on what you find) feet tall and 86lb ass up like a tree an essentially fixed his malnutrition, the portal did the same thing for Danny.
(granted i forgot about malnutrition and danny's likely stunted growth at first -- his family lived in crime alley and despite both his parents working, I don't think they had enough food all the time. He probably wasn't as badly malnourished as Jason was, but he wasn't healthy either.)
Granted his ghost in its "natural" state (14) is short, and his growth spurts were slow at first, it did result in him reaching his dad's height. There were points where it just happened overnight, like a baby. He went to bed one night 5’6 and woke up the next day 5’10.
Jazz is shorter than him. Although I have't decided if she's even liminal at all (and if she is, it didn't cure everything because she would have also suffered childhood malnutrition, and since in au canon their parents didn't get their hands on physical ectoplasm until after they got to Amity Park. So the exposure is less.)
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Danny's voice absolutely sounds like canon Dan's. It kinda just dropped one day when he was 16-17 and never went back up. Sam and Tucker sometimes ask him to just talk about anything because they find his voice soothing.
I'm not sure yet how Danny would feel about it at first considering Rath, but I imagine that Rath, when he did speak, would have had a quieter and scratchier/weaker voice considering he's spent the last decade shrieking and crying.
(and i suppose technically that shouldn't have any effect on his throat considering he's a ghost and idk if that would actually affect him, but i like the idea so im keeping it)
In the beginning you could hear him from a mile away by the sound of his loud, echoing wails, but ten years later you can only really hear him by the soft, shuddering sobs he makes. Like he's gasping for air that isn't there. The future is full of very quiet survivors.
And it's much easier to speak when you pitch your voice upwards (especially when whispering/speaking quietly) so he might've spoken in a higher, airy pitch in order to be heard. So Danny might actually find a comfort in having a lower voice.
#tw mentions of gore#cw gore#i suppose this counts as gore#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#childhood friends au#cfau#really leaning into the idea of rath just being a horror. the horrors! i am delighted in the horrors!#im having fun with it#i swear to god turning 19 turned a switch on in my brain because i am much more comfortable with gore and heavy injury now than i was l#literally a year ago. the urge to write about some of danny's most horrific injuries in his fights is STRONG#like the hORRORS folks. *th horrors*. i dont think i'll ever write a dissection fic because that icks me out but the idea that danny's had#to stitch up his own throat because it got slit in a fight nd he cant shift back to human until he's done because his ghost will survive bu#his body wont#the idea that he's been impaled multiple times before and it hurts each fucking time but he still gets up and hurls the hurt right back in#equal measure. because that's how you wanna play? okay. lets play. he's 14 and his best friend is dead. he can play.#and the idea that all ghosts have 'corpse' forms where their ghosts look exactly like how they died. and danny is utterly unrecognizable#jazz being liminal or not just isnt important to me because she's barely gonna show up in the story anyways#same reason why i hardly use the headcanon that ellie becomes danny's daughter because what use is she to me like that? she'll hardly have#an impact on the story and i refuse to treat characters like props. if they can't help progress the story then they aren't included
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There's absolutely nothing worse than when I get a thousand words into a story and decide that I low key hate it
#i don't really hate it#it's just like. what is the point?#i'm just not super enthusiastic about where it's going and none of the other options for where i could go with it are very interesting#and it's supposed to be about hera. HERA#if i'm writing something about captain hera syndulla the myth the legend herself the greatest pilot in the galaxy etc.#then it's got to be GOOD#hmm. i. might be shelving this fic idea for the time being#in theory it's decent in practice it isn't what i want#so there's that#HECK this is annoying#okay let's stay calm#i'll set this idea aside#work on something else in the time being#and then come back to what i'm writing for hera in spectre week after that#easy. possibly#WHY AM I INCAPABLE OF COMING UP WITH GOOD FIC IDEAS ANYMORE#i swear i've had all my good ideas#which i hate with a fiery passion#i hate the fact that it feels like i'm out of fun ideas#i don't want that to be true! i want to be still capable of coming up with fic concepts!#but the brain is not braining right now#it's super frustrating#*deep deep sigh*#i shall survive#just had to rant a bit
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mini Jonny WIP that I don't think I'll finish. Another unfortunate victim of the chibi-fication ray...
#my creation (is it real?)#radiohead#radiohead fanart#digital art#jonny greenwood#90s music#Now that the tags are over and done with.. time to hide a rant under this post#Main reason why I didn't finish this was because the very act of drawing this was pissing me off. Hugely#I don't know what the fuck is up with me lately but I've been so unhappy with my art to the point where it genuinely makes me angry#It's taking a huge toll on my motivation for pretty much everything now art-related or not#And I just.. god. No matter how many breaks I take or style tests I do nothing looks nice in my eyes#Having your main source of creativity be as chronically unsatisfying as this really does fucking suck. I don't know what to do#But ah well. If I stop then I dont have stuff to post so I suppose we'll keep going#Sorry for this. Brain feels very clogged lately and it's only getting worse. I'll survive though
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the fact that i become extremely low-energy in the afternoons and can barely keep my focus up on work surely doesn't have to do with the fact that I've been getting like 5 hours of sleep every night. nope no way, couldn't be that
#who could have known that when you start getting up one hour earlier in the morning you also have to go to bed earlier?#and that you might already need to start going to bed earlier anyway...?#seriously when will i LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm having a friend over tonight... it will probably be late... how am i supposed to survive......#....maybe i'll go home earlier and sleep for an hour or so#though i also have to hand in an assignment sometime today which I would like to polish just a bit more#but my friend arrives at 6 and if i know us we will probably lose track of time until its like. midnight.#at which point the assignment would be late#sooooo.... how does this all fit together.#nagnerd
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" again and again and again ... "
#i dunno what it is with me drawing Tony standing in the rain . especially because right now it's not raining where i am . but here we are#i suppose#initially wanted to make this an animation with the song as background noise but all my animation softwares don't support canvases this big#so i guess you guys are going to have to survive with this pretty bad piece XD#im super sorry that this isn't really up to my actual level of quality . especially since i haven't drawn as much in the last few weeks#cuz of school#but i promise i'll try to make something good again !!#i love you guys#!!#dhmis#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis tony#dhmis hv tony#flop era#pls ignore
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guess my favourite character (impossible)
#the owl house#toh#vee#toh spoilers#my art#considering drawing possessed hunter later but if i draw this many character focused things in a row i might not survive#though i'll admit drawing vee made me feel like drawing my ocs 4 years ago with no intention of learning backgrounds ever#it was pretty fun i suppose
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Enigma’s Plot Bunnies → Hopeless Wanderer
"Are these guys friends or food?"
"Food! Definitely food!"
"Finally. I'm starving."
Surviving the Kinzokou Town fighting pit Hanako was forced into was arduous but easy. She never lost a fight and, since she’d been born into a cannibal tribe, the pit gave her an endless supply of food. But it wasn’t her home and she longed to be free. Nyssa had always come to her rescue before, but not this time. It was a long eight years in that cage, waiting for her dearest friend. Instead, a rubber kid claiming he was going to be King of the Pirates came and changed everything.
Hanako hated pirates, she hated sailing, but at least these pirates didn't use seastone to cage and control her. And they didn't even seem to mind her bear form, mostly. Her eating people still bothered most of them. "Friends aren't food," Luffy told her. Unless they were in a fight, then it was okay.
Hanako would do whatever her Captain ordered. She'd adapt to the sea. She'd get used to an altered albeit balanced diet. She'd have a real job as Sanji's sous chef, his idea. She'd go to the Grand Line and help Luffy achieve his dream because he'd saved her and she owed him. But she had dreams of her own. Hanako was going to prove she wasn't the monster the Kinzokou townspeople made her believe she was, and she was going to find Nyssa if it was the last thing she did.
#allaboutocs#ocappreciation#oc hub#oc community#opla oc#my characters#my edit#plot bunnies#sooo she was always going to be someone who could turn into a bear#who was taken and forced to fight in a fighting pit for years#the cannibalism was supposed to be forced for survival#but then there was a whole cannibal island in canon#and it's shaped like a bear paw (or three people in a cooking pot)#so it seemed too perfect to pass up#also kinzouko village isn't canon I made it up#originally she was gonna be picked up after usopp and before sanji#but canon didn't allow that!#so now Luffy Zoro and Nami grab her after buggy and on their way to usopp#cause I imagine this made up village is on the other side of the organ islands where buggy was#for a plot bunny I'll probably never write I sure am overthinking
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"Oh woe is me, all dressed up and no Shinigami Souls to devour."
#jin: ic#jin vc: suppose I'll have to settle for Human again 🙄😈#//but also hewwo everyone me and being randomly absent for days on end? name a better duo#//im trying to be around here on this blog but also id be lying if i said my energy hasnt been all that great for it#//we'll see what the week ahead holds though 🤣 if i can survive work
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my uncle died. hm
this is the first time i've ever reached the tag limit. the last word is meant to be funeral.
#text#interesting experience#i mean it was expected he's been suffering for a couple of months now. he got a lot better at one point and everyone was like woo you're-#-gonna survive! you're not gonna be like before but you're not gonna die but eh voila he died#like a week ago he was sent to the hospital because his kidneys just failed and the doctors said nah dude he's on his deathbed. better#just die at home rather than dying in the hospital alone so they took him home and they've been waiting ever since and here we are#personally i barely know shit about the guy. he used to deliver us bread and he shook my hand once and smiled at me. radiated a good aura#but i dont know anything. dad says he really respected and loved my brother and i so ill take his word for it#but man for the past like month its all you hear about. like i dont mean this in a derogatory way i completely understand dont get me wrng#but its just death death death all around#an hour or so ago i was walking my dog with my mom and brother and i just said i wonder if uncle's died yet#20 minutes afterwards my mom gets a call that he's died. uncle was in a different room from the rest of the family so they couldnt know#exactly when he died (we went to visit at about 5 pm today and he was alive but asleep) but my parents think it must have been around when#i said that. dad's superstitious and all and says that uncle sent me a sign. like i said apparently uncle loved me a lot. im not#superstitious but i'll take his word for it - uncle sent me a sign before he died.#i feel a little bad now. he seemed like a good man. im just replaying my only memory of him - that time when he shook my hand and smiled#like smiled very brightly. he and grandma look so alike. like ofc they do they're siblings but they look so alike#im very worried for my parents and grandma though.#espechially grandma. she's been at his house almost all week becuase she knew his time was soon#when we visited today we were supposed to pick her up and bring her home and then return her tomorrow but once we arrived she apparently#said (idk i didnt go inside i just wandered outside and pspsed at cats#that she didnt want to come home becuase he was very ill. she knew man she knew.#i dont know how she's going to handle this i just hope she'll be okay we'll do what we can to help her#i hope my parents are going to be okay too. me and my mom's relationship is rocky and i dont like my dad much#my dad returned from europe yesterday to stay with us for a month and i was really not looking forward to it. i always dread his visits#like dont get me wrong i love him just like im supposed to i just dont like him very much#but nonetheless i hope they'll be okay#as far as i know my brother also didnt know my uncle very well so i dont think i have to worry about him#he and i will just have to do our best to support our family i guess#about like 30 minutes ago my parents left for uncle's house and they'll return early morning tomorrow and then go back immidietaly for the
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Ehehehe I got a job offer from my employer from last year. It feels great to know that she genuinely appreciated having me around
#my nonsense#i'm not too fond of the work she's suggesting this time around but i want to keep this relationship going#also all the work i can get takes stress away from how i'll survive the summer#or next year for that matter#since i'm supposed to spend the summer studying rather than working
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writing out my to-do list for the semester and feeling an overwhelming wave of terrified nausea like ohhhhh this is going to suck so so bad huh
#and i haven't even gotten to writing down the weekly responsibilities of my actual Internship yet#this is just the university and state deadlines ! ! ! !#(and not even all of them because my professors have not released all their due dates yet)#lads i think i am going to be crying and having many a panic attack this spring unless i can forcibly shift myself into a dissociative stat#that craves neither rest nor pleasure nor any other state beyond being hunched over a computer and writing for my life#(face in hands) i'll survive it for sure but. god.#the really frustrating thing is that the department that is supposed to be preparing me for The Big Test has.#created artificial deadlines for each component of The Big Test that. do not include the final component of The Big Test.#they really just said 'oh yeah and fit that last on in there somewhere when you get the chance :)'#'yes we plan for you to be ready to submit the second to last part within days of the submission deadline'#'but just remember to also fit in that last part somewhere'#'during your free time probably lol'#anyway skfdgjkhdf#i'll survive i'll survive#i have survived literally everything the education system has thrown at me thus far and none of it has resulted in physical harm#i am pushing the boundaries of my body's stress tolerance and that means that everything in the future#will be that much less stressful in comparison#just gotta get through it and then i never have to do it again . . . . . . . . . . . . . .#(unless i go back for my masters or something which i will. probably do at some point unfortunately.)#(this user is prone to suffering)
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.
#I'm sorry#I'm so sorry#I'm sorry I can't save all of you right now#it will be years before I have the qualifications to actually save anyone#I'll try my best to get through it as soon as possible but it breaks my heart how many kids are dying or dead#because of sins commited by adults#that are supposed to be protecting them#I promise I will be there one day#and I'm sorry that it's not gonna be today#it makes me tremble and teary to think that we brought these children to a world and they cannot survive in#let alone live
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#if i weren't so afraid of sharing info online#and of sounding like i think i'm special or something#i'd share my birth story with you#a big reason i'm so staunchly pro life is that i got to survive when so many children who were so much more developed than me#got torn limb from limb with the full consent of the law#i was a medical emergency#i endangered my mother's life#yet no one wanted to kill me#no one said it was necessary to crush my skull to save my mother#i was delivered#far too early#far too small#you know what i'll just say it: 24.5 weeks#at a regular catholic hospital that doesn't do abortions#had i been a few days younger it would have been legal for any state in the union to abort me at that age#roe v wade required it#yet i had doctors and nurses fighting tooth and nail for months to make sure i survived and survived healthy#i was supposed to be blind and brain-damaged#i have low-prescription lenses and graduated as valedictorian of my high school class#i got the chance that so many other babies didn't#there's almost a form of survivor's guilt#there's anger on behalf of my fellow preemies#the ones who are lucky enough to stay in the womb yet have doctors and mothers fighting to kill them#you say they're not a person?#was *i* not a person?#was *i* worthless?#there were people who thought i wasn't and i'm grateful for it every day#but the thing is none of those other babies are worthless#none of them are monsters destroying their mothers' lives#they are helpless infants who want to live who deserve to live who have no less right to live than i did
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bro some beers give me such bad hiccups like hello do you mind???? over here hiccupping every other second after three michelob ultras meanwhile i drank ten coronas a few weeks ago and was normal
#also im. supposed to be studying (which i was doing until the hiccups distracted me. but also i was watching the gilded age) but im also#just yknow. drinking beer because i have until 11 am tomorrow and i'll probably be back from the barn by 9 so i can study a lil right befor#this is my last final and then im fucking off to new york for a week im SO EXCITED and i cant get myself to care about this final#like its fine i'll survive the prof is bffs with me now because i reintroduced her to horses
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maybe my parents did a few things wrong, maybe i'll always be angry about said things and maybe i'll never move on but at least i'm allowed to show that anger to them. i get to be honest and tell how much it hurts sometimes.
#after everything i'm still really grateful#because it truly could be so much worse#i don't know to live in a house where people hurt me and i have to stay quiet#which is why living with my uncle has been so hard#him and his wife have a completely different philosophy and i don't know how to fit in#and i don't see why i have to#but he wants me to be a person i don't know how to recreate#i genuinely don't understand what i am supposed to do and why you have to yell at me constantly#and i keep quiet but i feel like i'm about to snap#i hope i'll get a dorm and won't have to stay here for long but idk#i survived one year already i have to find a way to just push through it for another one if i don't get it#it could always be worse#venting#personal
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