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anonymous-gambito · 4 months

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Word of God/movie backstory aside, it suddenly came to me that there is one other gap of knowledge that has probably contributed to a significant part of the alienation between Touga and Nanami, and it's something that existed throughout all of Nanami's life, so it's given that she wouldn't truly notice it: Touga knows they're adopted, Nanami does not. I think that makes a big difference.

Touga's backstory is bound not to be the exact same as the movie (After all, Nanami isn't even there with him), so I'll let myself speculate a bit. Their biological parents could have died, they could have abandoned them or sold them, or the siblings could have been removed from their care, and unless Nanami was brought in later to wherever Touga was, it's safe to assume that he spent at least 5 years with his original parents. He has memories of a different family, and of losing that family. Nanami doesn't even know about any of it. She doesn't realize there is a side of her brother that she never got to meet.

"Blood" is very important to Nanami. Blood is what Nanami uses to try and reassure herself that the parents who are cold and distant to her, and the brother who's grown cold and distant too, have an eternal unbreakable bond. It's very brittle though. Nanami constantly fears being replaced, discarded or harmed by her family. Most often by Touga, who ironically, happens to be her only blood relative there.

Her anxiety can be very easily explained by her experiences with how she was treated growing up in the Kiryuu household, but I do wonder if there's some subconscious parts of her that tap into these knowledge gaps too. I already felt like it was there, in the way her love for her brother is as protective as it is possessive, and how to protect him from harm, be it real or perceived, she can go feral, often shooting wildly at whoever she thinks is to blame, always hitting the wrong targets; and so maybe, I thought, it is possible that her anxieties are also tied to these repressed early childhood memories. Ones of once having a family, and then losing that world, being thrown someplace unfamiliar. Vague mostly forgotten memories fueling her fear of abandonment, working like a constant little nagging at the back of her head signaling to her how little blood ties really matter in the end.

"Blood" doesn't matter to Touga in the same way. He doesn't hold into a rose colored view of it. He knows by experience how easily those ties can be severed, how fickle they are. That's why when he found a little girl in a coffin, a little girl who spoke of there not being anything eternal, of how those you care about are bound to leave you, and questioning what's even the point of living then, he couldn't give her anything. He couldn't save her. He didn't know the answer for himself either.

#revolutionary girl utena #shoujo kakumei utena #sku #rgu #utena meta #touga kiryuu #nanami kiryuu #utena tenjou #ambi utena post #utena analysis #I'd asked for help with the IDs in the tags but since no one responded I've finally done it myself #fuck that was so difficult #I had to google so many damn words #english being my secong language makes this hard and so does me being autistic #I struggle to describe feelings and facial expressions

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

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I rambled this out in the tags of my reblog of ur response to my... hm, "pink" ask, but i'll put it here anyways

I think ray and i are similar in the way of emotional sensitivity and people pleaser tendencies, albeit stemming from very different origins. For Ray, it's his traumas and the lifestyle and mindset he's been forced into. For me, it's the neurological disorder/learning difference I've had all my life, ADHD, and its accompanying RSD and anxiety.

One good thing about that bad friendship i got myself into was that i learned how to be a little more independent and how to overcome certain parts of my anxiety at times, as well as how to say no and to not give in so easily into the urge to just do whatever my friends ask.

So, I'm better than I was. But like I mentioned, its a little different when i dont know the person yet, and its especially different if theyre as sweet and kind as ray is. Honestly it gets me weak. I mean, even in the game, when i play AS (and his route) for the first time, i was very compliant to everything he said, especially since he seemed to have some confidence about him (i still cant tell if im just dumb or if he actually seems that way to others in the beginning). And thats not just cos i wanted to progress with the game; i chose the options i felt drawn to.

I'd have a hard time telling him no.

As for emotional sensitivity and RSD... itd be a loop i swear oh my days lol. He's always like "sorry sorry sorry pls dont hate me" and im sitting there like "same." If i was actually there id be like "no no never! Id never hate you i swear ur so freaking nice and sweet and fjbdjdbjd" and then like that very same day, say i shot him a text or two and he doesnt respond for like an hour. I get it. I know he's busy. I don't reach out further cos i dont wanna be annoying, i just wait. And wait. And tell myself he's busy. He doesn't hate me. He's just busy. ...did i say something wrong? Maybe i was confusing...? *proceeds to reread my texts like a million times, analyzing all the possible interpretations and probably scaring myself a couple times*

Finally a text comes in, or a chatroom with him opens up, and- here's where we differ. I keep those "what if he hates me" thoughts to myself. Instead its, "oh thank goodness lol i thought maybe i was being annoying or something or offended u or made u mad" (usually just one of those; which one i felt depends on the scenario) and even then it's only if an opportunity comes up. Sometimes i'll outright ask "was i being annoying? Sorry i know i can get out of hand sometimes" or say something like "just lemme know whenever im too overbearing or annoying or confusing or fast, etc". I tend to prefer to lean towards semi-subtle phrasing rather than outright asking.

But its like... "sorry sorry; are u mad?" "No!! No im not mad... but... i thought you'd be upset at me so I was afraid to face you... and then when you didnt text me i thought it even more..." "what??? No never! I didnt text u cos i thought u were mad!" Lmaooo

[417]

Yeah, I can totally relate to that internalized dialogue. So, it just seems that you can look at him and say same hat. I understand that feeling very well because I do it all the time too. Ray oftentimes gets overworked and overwhelmed by the thought that he's not doing enough, as a matter of fact, he's been told that he's not doing enough so he just thinks that constantly without anyone having to prompt him otherwise. A part of it might be a manipulation on his part but another part of it is genuine self-loathing. It is hard to say because he has moments where his genuine sincerity comes out and moments when his plans pop out. That's why I often tell people that he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Yes, he is relatable in a sense but that doesn't mean that he is inherently good too.

His morality is a little skewed but you can't really blame him for it given how he was manipulated himself. It is a matter of getting to know him and helping him see that something is amiss that allows him to almost realize that it's not okay. It is just too easy to overanalyze and get overwhelmed by the smallest of details that may not mean anything. It's an unfortunate circumstance that many of us have to deal with.

He's definitely a lot to deal with, and you have to be on your toes and ready to deal with it. If you are not in the right headspace or you easily get overwhelmed by little comments that may not mean much, then it's probably going to be hard for you to deal with the situations that take place with him. Even I know that I would have some specific problems with it myself given he and I have so much in common. However, don't think that that counts you out or anything. You still have the capability to get through to him.

It just comes down to empathizing and reaching out to each other when things don't feel right. That is easier said than done though so yeah, it would be a little complicated. It'll turn into a game where you're reassuring him and he's reassuring you. Sometimes it's good if someone can understand you firsthand, because the thing you can help yourself in the process.

#mod kait #ask #417 anon

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haikyuu-imagines-and-others · 5 years

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Are you still taking spin the bottle requests?? If so, I'd like to add Konoha to the list if your are willing to write for him! That boy doesn't have nearly enough love and you do such a wonderful job with your writings id love to see your take on Konoha! Preferably 7 minutes in heaven. Please and thanks!

Ohoho!! I’ve never actually written for Konoha!!! This’ll be a first and honestly I’m excited to try my hand at his character!! I completely agree that Konoha is a boi that’s slept on constantly!!! I really hope I can do his character justice and deliver exactly the experience/reading you’re looking for!!! Thanks for the request, love! - Admin Satori

Konoha Akinori: Spin the Bottle

How did you even end up here? What had possessed you to show up to a party at Bokuto’s apartment? Why? All it would be is a mess you and probably Akaashi would have to clean up since Bokuto would only get too drunk to remember his name…

Yet… Here you were! Partaking in a round of shots with the eccentric former captain, tossing back the burning liquid and scrunching your nose at the burn…

And why? You could have been home relaxing. Reading. Enjoying a quiet night in… So why were you giving that up to be here?

Because he’d asked if you were going. He being one of Bokuto’s childhood friends…. Konoha. Who was currently quietly sitting apart from the main group, next to Akaashi, having a calm conversation. You wanted to be near him.. You wanted to talk to him. He was, literally, the whole reason you’d come out tonight!

But Bokuto’s arm wrapped around your neck, “Ohoho! Another round? I’ve never seen you take a shot before!” He smiled brightly, happy you’d decided to tag along! The two of you were great friends… Because he was close to Konoha… The more time you spent around the loud boisterous young man.. The closer you seemed to get to knowing more and more about Konoha.

God were you mentally exhausted. Bokuto’s energy was never ending!

“Well, I figured ‘Why Not?’, you know?” You struggled to find something of sustenance to say, you didn’t regularly enjoy drinking… But doing anything else would make it seem like you weren’t comfortable!

Bokuto noticed you glance over to Akaashi and Konoha, raising a white eyebrow as he met your eyes once more, “Oh… OH! I got a plan!” He winked, sloppily, before removing his arm from your shoulders and rushing to the center of the room, throwing up his hands like an excited child, “Let’s play a party game, guys!”

“You’re tipsy, Kou.” Yukie called with a fond smirk, easily removing the bottle of beer from his hand.

“Okaaaay? I want some damn kisses!” He pouted, and who could resist that face?

Apparently no one, since not but 10 minutes later, most of the partygoers were sitting in a circle on the living room floor. Bokuto’s now empty bottle laying in the center.

“I go first!”

“How is that fair?” The protest in Konoha’s voice wasn’t sincere, and Washio gently elbowed him - not wanting Bokuto to go into one of his moods and no longer want to play. “I wanna go first.” But Konoha continued to protest, the smirk on his face making you bite your lip to hide your smile.

Bokuto squinted his eyes at Konoha, having grown up with him and knowing when he was lying…. Then his golden eyes glanced at you, briefly, but for a single second you were mortified at the realization: Bokuto knew. About your crush on his friend. He knew! Oh, God! You suddenly felt cold, “Alright, then go…. AGHaaaashi!” Bokuto called in surprise as Akaashi simply, with little to no notice, spun the bottle. “It was Aki’s turn!”

“Do not call me that.”

“What? Aki? But you’re Aki-Nori! It’s one or the other for a nickname!”

“Don’t call me either!” Konoha shot back with a smile, his eyes glancing around at the group - seeing they were finding amusement in his and Bokuto’s back and forth… You almost missed the way his eyes lingered on you a bit longer than the others. But when you met his stare directly, he quickly looked away.

The bottle spun for a few seconds before ultimately landing on Kaori. Who hadn’t decided to even come to the party until Yukie had invited her. Who was now blushing furiously as Akaashi, with absolutely no flourish, leaned over the bottle and pecked her lips. You could have sworn she melted there on the spot. Akaashi? Kissing her? It was her own dream come true! Though, you were sure it wasn’t felt on his side… He didn’t really seem to find any interest in anyone.

It went on that way, spin - kiss. Spin - kiss. Spin - kiss. Bokuto’s turn, next to you, spun and let out a loud “Woop! Woop!” When it landed on you. He knew you liked Konoha, but didn’t seem to care as he turned to you, cupped your face in his large hands, and pulled you in for a kiss. Tender, gentle, a little anxious…. As surprising as his excitement for the kiss was, you couldn’t help but smile and push him back, “Aw, what? Not cool!” You’d cut his kiss short.

“Kou.” You warned with a smile, laughing when he pouted and crossed his arms, “You’ll get more kisses, don’t worry.” You bumped your shoulder with his. He grumbled unintelligibly but didn’t argue, focusing on the bottle as you reached forward and spun it.

One rotation. Two rotation. Three rotation… Stop.

It pointed at Konoha. Who’d been watching you and Bokuto as discreetly as possible. Who had a little bit of a scowl marring his otherwise neutral expression. Did he not like you being near Bokuto? Why? Weren’t the two friends? And you were more friends with Bokuto than Konoha, so it’s not like you were betraying him or anything.

Tossing those thoughts aside, you went to lean forward and give him a kiss…. Only for him to hold up his hand, “I’ll pass. I don’t want Koutarou to get mad at me for kissing his girl.” Your furrowed eyebrows were lost to him as he looked away from you, a flicker of pain in his eyes as he stood from the floor, “Ah.. Gotta head to the little boys’ room.”

You watched, shocked, as he actually left the group to the hallway leading to the bathroom. Had he just rejected you? A sharp feeling in your chest revealed your cracked heart. Your movements were almost robotic as you sat back beside Bokuto, pushing back from the group to signal you didn’t want to play anymore. “What a dick…. I think he owes you a kiss, _______.” Bokuto looked over his shoulder at where you sat, dejected.

“He doesn’t want one, Kou.” A short reply that had Bokuto frowning.

“A debt is a debt, ______.” Akaashi piped in from the other side of the circle. “It’s time to collect.”

“AH! That rhymed!” Bokuto laughed, looking at Akaashi with curiosity, “Did you mean to-“

“No.”

They continued back and forth. Bokuto demanding to know if Akaashi had actually planned the rhyme or not, even though it didn’t and his brain was connecting dots that were miles away from the other, and Akaashi simply responding with easy answers. It was a maddening conversation that you backed out of by standing up and making your way down the hall.

You’d been going towards Bokuto’s personal bathroom, to wash your face and decide if it was worth it to even be at this party now that you’d been rejected… But the guest bathroom was in the hallway, the door opened and before you could move out of the way for him - Konoha bumped into you.

And something inside snapped. You grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the room across the hall. The guest room. As soon as the door closed behind you… You froze. What were you even doing? “Uh.. Hey..? Come here often?” Konoha broke the brief silence, feeling…. anxious… to be alone with you. He’d been hurt by seeing you and Bokuto sharing a kiss that looked.. Perfect. He’d been hurt when you more or less promised more kisses for Bokuto after his turn ended… Were the two of you an it-

“I’m not dating Koutarou, Akinori.” You huffed. “And it’s really rude for you to just assume things because of a dumb game.” Crossing your arms, you were thankful his dumb joke had set a fire inside you - your blood thawing and pumping in your veins. “And,” You added, “You owe me a kiss because the bottle landed on you, and you have to honor the rules.”

Konoha was taken aback by your simple demand. An I.O.U. of a kiss? He snorted, his hand coming to his mouth to hide his smile as he quietly laughed at the ridiculousness of your reasoning. “You’re right.. You’re right.” He snickered behind his hand, only lowering it once he’d struggled to gather his composure for a few seconds. “It was really rude of me to assume that… I’m sorry.”

Silence. Expectant stare.

You really wanted that kiss he owed you?

Stepping forward, anxiety welled in his stomach and closed around his throat. Why did it feel much more… intense now? Intimate almost. Your hands gently rested on his arms as he laid his hands on your waist. You didn’t dare look away from him, didn’t dare to break his eye contact as he slowly leaned his head down. The closer he leaned, the lower his eyelids got, and you followed his lead. Tilting your head, you could feel his breath against your lips… Almost taste-

“If you guys are gonna bang, can we still have the party? Or do you want us to move it somewhere else?”

“Koutarou! I swear to GOD-“ But Konoha didn’t seem to care that his friend was trying everything in his power to embarrass the two of you, and leaned in regardless. His lips pressed to yours, and you could swear you could see the birth of a new galaxy behind your closed lids. His hands on your waist pulled you closer, one hand on your back while the other came up to cup your cheek. You smiled against his lips once you’d gotten over your initial surprise, your arms coming up to wrap around his neck, leaning into his hold.

“Ah.. Wrong time…” The click of a door left you and Konoha with some much needed alone time.

A/N: This one turned out a bit longer! lol

#Admin Satori #Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu!! Scenario #Character Challenge!#Spin the Bottle #Konoha Akinori

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spider-survey · 2 years

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Red and Blue stood in front of an Oscorp building.

"Is this the right one?" Red asked.

Blue shook his head. "No. The shape is completely different. This isn't the right dimension."

"Aw, that's okay. I'm sure if we keep trying, we'll find the right one! After all, if there's anything I learned from doing spider surveys, it's that information has patterns and..." Red continued to ramble on, but Blue wasn't listening. In fact, his attention had shifted to something else entirely. Or rather, someone: a man entering Oscorp.

Blue climbed down the building to get a closer look. His hair, his suit, his eyes... could he be this universe's Harry Osborn? He climbed even closer.

"Excuse me."

The man noticed him with a start. "What the- what are you?"

"My name is Blue. I'm not here to hurt you, I'd just like to ask something."

"Oh, uh, sure. What is it?"

Blue squinted for a name tag or an ID. "Do you... work here?"

"Technically, yes. I own the company."

Tentatively, he asked, "Osborn?"

"Uh huh. Harry Osborn."

Blue stumbled back.

Harry tilted his head. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. I just-" He felt himself fading out again and another memory took hold...

---

It felt amazing, to be honest. Somehow, every activity felt freer and more cognizant than before. Even his reflexes were faster-- in stopping a robbery earlier that night, he wasn't struck once. But his twenty four hours were nearly up, and it was time to return to Oscorp.

Harry waited on the assigned floor: a single room adorned with paintings of Norman and extravagant carpets. He held two drinks with a friendly smile.

"Welcome back," He said. "How did it feel?"

"Well, after the initial passing out? Amazing." He accepted one of the drinks and perched on one of the couches. "It's like the suit responds to my brain faster than I do. I know that doesn't make any sense, but look! Pockets!" He pulled the thermos from the suit. "It can mimic equipment and even articles of clothing! I've already recorded all the data."

"Why, thank you!" Harry beamed. "I've already made certain that Dad transferred the appropriate funds to the science center, too."

"I heard! Parker told me. You should have been there to see the look on Doc Connors' face." He smiled under his mask. "I'm happy for him. He deserves this."

"Not to mention-- we're one step closer to understanding how Klyntar society worked! If we can find the organisms they bonded to, they may be able to tell us even more." He sipped from his drink. "Just wait until Dad hears about it."

Spider-Man flinched. "Harry, I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not? He's the one in charge of all this."

"I know, but Norman's a bit... 'my way or the highway', ya know? I'm afraid he might take something like this and use it for..."

Harry shook his head. "Spidey, he's not like that. He's a perfectly reasonable man."

"Yeah, until you do something he doesn't like. Then the hammer comes down."

"Since when? He's been nothing but kind and compassionate and would drop everything to help someone."

Spider-Man's hand tightened around his drink. "You're only saying that because you're one of his favorites. Of course you have never had to face his bad side."

Harry bristled. "He doesn't- it's not like that."

"And how would you know?!" The glass shattered. "You've always conveniently turned a blind eye to his every outburst! What about the time when he broke my arm? Or kidnapped me for torture? Or nearly killed innocent bystanders just because they were in the way!"

"Spider-Man the Green Goblin did those thing-"

"THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON, HARRY!" He stood over his friend. "The Goblin is just a persona he uses as an excuse to do whatever he wants! He's not good, he's not selfless, and he's definitely not kind! You just made that up because you couldn't stand the thought of him being flawed! Just admit it, Harry, you excuse him because he's your favorite!"

The two stood in silence. Harry looked at the thermos in his hands, then back at Spider-Man. "Give back the suit."

"No."

"I won't hear any more of this. Please do what I say."

"Or what?" He spat. "You'll go run to your dad?" He leapt to the windowsill. "We're done here."

---

Blue held his head. "Woah. That was an emotional one."

"Seemed like it," Someone said.

Blue stared at them. Right. A version of Harry Osborn. Not his version. "Er, thanks for talking with me. I should go."

"Uh, alright. See you around?"

"Probably not. I'm sorry." He climbed away before Harry could reply.

So I had kept the suit, He thought. But how did I become this crystal creature? Maybe finding a version of Doctor Connors will help me find the next piece of the puzzle.

[next memory: https://spider-survey.tumblr.com/post/672485184022708224/spider-man-swung-along-the-city-night-sky-his ]

#Blue #Spider-Man #Character Development #ooc: don't worry the drinks aren't alcoholic #they're... orange juice #yeah #orange juice from a wine glass

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