Tumgik
#I’ve never worked at Panera so don’t hate my inaccuracies
barren-heart · 4 months
Text
From Panera Bread You Came, To Panera Bread You Shall Return.
Guillermo's been working at Panera Bread for about a week now. Luckily, his old manager agreed to give him his old job back.
A Nandermo first kiss one-shot
Blood and violence. Hurt/comfort. Somewhat Christmas-themed. No death. Post-s5. Nandor/Guillermo.
Author’s note: I wanted to write in script format, but got too lazy tbh and I also wanted to keep some of the thoughts and feelings of the characters. Canon compliant for the most part.
Bright lights flicker in a near-empty Panera. The lampposts outside are lit, as snow drifts towards the ground in thick piles.
In the lobby, Guillermo mops the floor. He’s focusing on a spill of broccoli cheddar soup that accidentally fell off the table as he was cleaning. He sees the cameras and waves them in.
“So, yeah,” Guillermo says. He sits at a table, camera facing. His title reads, Former Familiar and Bodyguard. Panera Bread Employee. “You can probably tell that I’m no longer working for Nandor and the vampires. I moved out about a week ago, I guess.”
A flashback to Guillermo cleaning up his room at the Vampire Residence. He takes his suitcases and the vampire portrait of him and Nandor. The room is just as empty as when he moved in.
“It was just getting a bit, you know, sad,” Guillermo continues. “Not being a vampire anymore, I just didn’t really feel like I could go back to being a familiar. So,” he pauses, “I left.”
A cut back to Guillermo looking at Nandor’s closed coffin as he lays a letter on the table. A moment later, a cut to Nandor picking up the letter as his face grows solemn.
“I’m trying to find my purpose in this world now.” Guillermo smiles. “There’s so…so many possibilities of who I can be. I have my whole life ahead of me. But, searching for your next passion doesn’t really pay the bills. So, in the meantime, I got my old job back at Panera. So that’s…that’s good.”
The documentary crew flashes edits of Guillermo performing various duties inside of Panera. Kids run into tables, knocking food onto the floor. Loud customers shout at him as Guillermo tries to remain calm.
When the camera cuts back to Guillermo’s talking head, his smile fades. “Can’t believe this time, last week I was mopping up blood in the Fancy Room, and now I’m mopping up soup.” He laughs. “Crazy how things could change so quickly.”
“Guillermo?” A man behind the counter says. “Do you mind taking the trash out?”
Guillermo stands, ending the talking head segment. “Yeah. I can do that. Sorry.”
“Oh no, take your time,” The man says smiling to the cameras. “I’m sorry, did I come off as a bit aggressive there? I’ve been working on not sounding too demanding, you know? I learned that from the Being a Better Boss self-help book I read last summer.”
“You’re good, Chris.” Guillermo laughs to himself. His boss has no idea the orders he was given as a familiar. “I’ll take it out now.”
“Okay, be careful out there,” Chris says. “It’s looking like a blizzard. Haven’t seen snow like this since when I was a kid in Vermont.”
The camera follows Guillermo as he grabs his coat and scarf. The cold is much harsher with the wind.
He drags the rather heavy bags of trash out the back door. He can barely see as he lifts the trash bags into the dumpster. It was nothing like the human bodies he would bag daily for the vampires. Come to think of it, taking a whiff outside, maybe there is rotten flesh in there?
“Guillermo, is that you?” A voice calls out.
Guillermo immediately recognizes the voice. It’s his master, or ex-master now? He left the vampire residence so suddenly that he wasn’t really sure anymore.
Out of the shadows, Nandor appears. His hair disheveled and cape covered in snow. Almost like he’d been there for hours.
Guillermo meets him under a streetlight. “Have you been waiting here for me?”
“Yes. Not long, though. Maybe two…or three hours?”
“Three-three hours?”
“I didn’t want to disturb you while you worked,” Nandor says. “So, I waited here until you were done.” Nandor points to a body slumped against the wall of the building. “I had a light snack while I waited.”
“That would explain the rotten corpse smell…” Guillermo whispers to the camera.
"I like what you've done with the place." Nandor observes the scenery. "Very twinkly lights."
“Oh, no that’s the…you know…” Guillermo stops, knowing well he shouldn’t say Christmas in front of Nandor. His voice lowers to a whisper, “Holiday lights.”
“Your roommates must be so festive. So very human and not vampires at all.” There’s a smile on Nandor’s face, but it’s absent of joy. If Nandor could tell the truth, it’s painful that Guillermo left again, this time to be with humans.
“Uh, yeah. They…they are human.” Guillermo says. "Do you think I live here?"
"Well, now that you don't live with us anymore, I thought you would move in where you work."
"Actually," Guillermo says, his eyes on the snowy ground beneath him. "I live with my mom now."
"Oh, Silvia?" Nandor genuinely smiles. He enjoyed Guillermo's mothers’ company the last time he saw her. So kind and full of energy. And so many photos of Guillermo. "How is she?"
"She's doing-" Guillermo begins to say. “Wait. How did you find me? I never said I was going to work here.”
“I thought you would return to something familiar. Just seemed like something all humans do. I flew around to all the Paneras in the area, until I saw you in the window. I came to congratulate you on your new job.”
Guillermo smiles to himself. “Oh, I thought you’d be upset that I left.”
“I’m not upset. I actually think that it’s okay.”
A cut to talking heads of Nandor in his room. “Am I happy with Guillermo for leaving? Of course not. But, I’m not upset. Little rascal is probably thinking about apologizing right now. He’s probably on his way home. What, it’s been, like, just a few days?”
Someone talks offscreen.
“A week?” Nandor says.“Really? Oh. Maybe I should try and find him, then?”
When the camera cuts back, Nandor says, “I know you were looking to find some greater purpose and you’ve found it here at…The Panera Bread.”
Nandor gives a quick look to the camera.
“Uh, yeah,” Guillermo says. “Well, it’s-it’s temporary. I, uh, don’t really have much of a work history with 14 years working as a familiar. Uh, my old boss is actually still working here and got me my job back.”
“That asshole?” Nandor says, remembering the guy was such a dick. “Yes, I remember. Fucking guy.”
“He’s actually pretty cool now. Mellowed out a lot.”
“Oh?” Nandor says. “That’s-that’s great that you have such a mellow boss. Really…cool.”
A moment of silence passes between them.
“How’s the gang?” Guillermo says, wistful. “I miss them.”
“They’re, you know. Moving on. Doing lots of things. With stuff. Vampire stuff.”
Guillermo feels a pang in his heart. He shouldn’t expect a heartfelt plea to come back, especially with how sudden he left. It still feels like it was the right thing to do in the moment.
The sound of a door opens behind them. It’s Guillermo’s manager, Chris.
“Hey, just checking to see if you died.” He sniffs around. “Almost smells like someone died.”
Chris takes in the dead body. “Hey, what the fuck is that?!”
Nandor approaches Chris. “You will not remember seeing the dead body on the ground and will go back inside and finish your duties for the night.”
Before finishing his hypnosis, Nandor adds, “And you will give Guillermo a raise in pay.”
“Yeah, everything looks good,” Chris says, leaving. “I’ll see you inside. And hey, you’re getting a raise on your next check there, buddy.”
Once Chris is inside, Guillermo says, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I kinda did, though. Didn’t want him to remember the dead body there,” Nandor says whispering as if someone could overhear.
“I meant the raise part,” Guillermo says.
“Oh.” Nandor continues in a normal tone, “You deserve it. I know how hard you work. And how important it is to tell someone that you appreciate what they do for you. I want to wish you well in your new position. And I’m sure you will do just great.”
“Thank you, mast-” Guillermo stops. “Um, Nandor.”
Nandor doesn’t comment on the change of title. “Of course.”
“I should probably get back inside,” Guillermo says. “Fly safe. It’s really snowy out here.”
“Yes, thank you.”
Guillermo turns towards the camera, away from Nandor. A few tears well up in his eyes.
“Oh, Guillermo?” Nandor says. “One last thing.”
Guillermo faces him again, sniffing his tears back. “Yeah?”
Nandor steps closer. He reaches inside his cape, and pulls out a dozen of flattened red roses. “I forgot to give you these.”
“Flowers?” Guillermo sniffs them. A few are wilted, and some petals fall to the ground.
“Sorry. They were alive when I picked them.”
“Wait. You picked them? It’s the middle of winter.”
“Yes. I picked them from a nice grave I found while flying.”
“A grave?” Guillermo eyes go wide.
“Yes,” Nandor continues earnestly. “I saw them lying there and I thought of you.”
“You did?”
Nandor continues, “And I wanted to tell you that…I’ve missed you.”
“Really?” Guillermo swallows. “I’ve missed you, too. I’m sorry for leaving. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay. I really wanted to stay. I just don’t know if I belong there anymore.”
“You do belong there, Guillermo. You were more than just my familiar, but my greatest companion. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Marwa’s wedding scene plays and then we cut back to Guillermo. The camera zooms in on his face. He grins, now realizing. “Maybe you don’t have to think about that.”
“What do you-“ But Nandor doesn’t finish as he notices Guillermo leaning in towards him. Nandor mimics him, leaning in as their lips finally meet. His hand brushes along Guillermo’s neck and down his coat. He wraps his arms around Guillermo’s waist.
A familiar feeling of heat creeps up Guillermo’s chest and into his throat. The hairs on his arms raise as he wraps his hands around Nandor’s shoulders.
A voice stirring breaks them apart.
“What was that?” Guillermo says.
The body against the wall moves. “Ughh. Is there anyone there?”
Guillermo eyes Nandor. “I thought you said he was dead?”
“Yeah, I thought so,” Nandor says. “I just had a little snack. I don’t think I drained him enough.”
“Hey there,” Guillermo says approaching the body. “I can help you. Are you okay?”
The man, probably in his 40’s, slowly stands while gripping onto the wall. “Yeah, I think-” He slips on a puddle of his own blood, his head hitting against the wall as he falls with a thud to the ground. He doesn’t move.
Guillermo covers his mouth in shock.
“I think he’s dead now,” Nandor says. He kneels beside him. “Little man, are you alive?”
Nothing.
Nandor rolls him over. “Maybe we let the snow cover him up?”
Guillermo sighs. “I’ll get a trash bag.”
When Guillermo comes back, they both toss the man into the dumpster.
“If it makes you feel any better,” Nandor starts, “that was the guy yelling at you earlier. I could see it through the window. He said some bad things about you as he left.”
Guillermo smiles to both Nandor and the cameras. “I think we should leave before any cops show up.”
“Good idea.” Nandor reaches his hand out to Guillermo. “Can I fly you home? I’m sure Silvia is worried about you.”
Guillermo puts his hand in Nandor’s. “How about our place instead?”
31 notes · View notes