In a kinder world, Mary Hatford would never have married Nathan Wesninski.
Or, maybe she would have. Maybe in a kinder world, Nathan would have learned to be kind, too.
In the real world, Mary knew that no amount of kindness could show Nathan how to be a human. Even the kindest world could not suck the hatred out of his blood.
In a kind world, learning that she was pregnant with Nathan’s son would have been a blessing, not a curse. Giving birth to Abram would have been the happiest moment of her life. Holding her son for the first time, she would have felt nothing but joy and love, hope for the future he would have.
In the real world, Mary was terrified as she looked into her baby’s blue eyes. She knew that the road ahead of them would not be an easy one, knew that her son was not likely to live to adulthood. In the real world, Mary looked down at her son, so innocent and small and absolutely clueless to the monstrous world he’d just been born into, and she cried.
In a kind world, little Abram would never have had to learn how to wield a knife. Mary would never know what it was like to wash a man’s blood off of her eight-year-old son’s face. In a kinder world, her son was allowed to be a child.
In the real world, Abram watched a man die for the first time at five years old. At seven, Nathan bought the boy a dog and then made Abram help him slaughter it. In the real world, her son had taken a man’s life by the time he turned nine.
In a kinder world, They never would have needed to run. Abram would never be in enough danger for that. In a kind world, he would have been allowed to grow up like every other little boy. He would get to run around at the park and scrape his knees and yell as loudly as he could. He would be able to call as much attention to himself as he wanted, and he would never have to worry that death was coming for him.
In the real world, Mary woke him in the middle of the night three weeks after his tenth birthday. In the real world, she either had to take him away or watch him die. It wasn’t a hard choice to make.
In the real world, they ran and they ran and they ran. They could never stop running, not unless they wanted to stop breathing. In the real world, her son lives but he never gets to be alive.
In a kind world, Seattle is just a city. In a kind world, maybe they take a family trip there. Maybe Abram argues with another tourist over something stupid. Maybe they go out to dinner or take pictures at all of the popular sights. Maybe in a kinder world, Seattle is beautiful.
In the real world, Mary can barely remember Seattle. All she can remember is pain and fear and the need to get as much distance between Abram and Nathan as she can. In the real world, she never saw the metal pipe coming.
In a kind world, Mary lives a long life. She watches Abram graduate high school and then college, watches him play exy for years until an injury forces him to retire. She watches him fall in love with the strangest boy she’s ever met, a blond even shorter than she is who rarely smiles and loves to talk about the zombie apocalypse.
In a kind world, Mary is there when Abram gets married. She lives long enough to meet her two grandchildren and a handful of the many cats Abram and Andrew adopt. She lives a long life, and when death takes her, she isn’t afraid.
In the real world, fate isn’t so kind. In the real world, Abram still grows up. He graduates high school, then college. He plays exy for years. He even falls in love, gets married, adopts two kids and an unreasonable number of cats.
But in the real world, Mary isn’t there for any of it. In the real world, Mary doesn’t even get to see Abram turn 18.
In the real world, Mary Hatford dies at age 42, desperate and afraid on a cold stretch of California beach. In the real world, she doesn’t get a happy ending.
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Did I get immensely distracted and do more picrew things? Possibly. So please have What’s in Their Bag? Modern Edition…
Josephine:
Always has mints because she definitely hasn’t been vaping due to stress and who’s two cell phones seemingly never stop ringing. Still keeps a coin purse because it was her mother’s even though there’s nothing in it and she thinks it’s old fashioned. Does she wear driving gloves because it makes her feel like a bad bitch? Absolutely.
Giorgio:
It’s giving 2010s hipster turned professional with a dash of metrosexual. Sure he carries a phone and a tablet but secretly has a thing for writing handwritten letters. Probably drives a Tesla and converted all his locks to electronic. He also definitely stopped to pick up that four leaf clover for luck when he thought no one was looking.
Antoine:
Custom ordered that pen and notebook for writing song lyrics and definitely keeps all his money loose in his bag even though it constantly gets tangled in the three pairs of earphones he has in there. Bought that keychain for himself and Zelda very much unironically years ago. Zelda lost hers and doesn’t even remember when.
Zelda:
Can’t find anything in her bag at any given time, especially since her scarf also serves as a blanket for sitting in the grass. Smaller bag is always full of loose shells and rocks she picks up and really needs to get a new phone but can’t seem to find the time. Only doesn’t have cigarettes because she steals them from Antoine’s bag when he isn’t looking, even though he keeps an extra pack for her. Will not get rid of her iPod for anything.
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